Episode 6

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0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:20 > 0:00:24This is Impractical Jokers, the hidden camera show where

0:00:24 > 0:00:27four friends compete to embarrass each other in everyday situations.

0:00:27 > 0:00:32- The four jokers are: Joel Dommett...- Balls, balls, balls! - Roisin Conaty...- The nip-nips.

0:00:32 > 0:00:33- Paul McCaffrey...- Yeah!

0:00:33 > 0:00:36- and Marek Larwood... - Look at me and my weapons!

0:00:36 > 0:00:40Pushing each other to the limit, they take it in turns to complete embarrassing challenges.

0:00:40 > 0:00:44They've got to do and say everything the other Jokers tell them

0:00:44 > 0:00:46via a hidden earpiece but if they refuse,

0:00:46 > 0:00:49they lose and face a humiliating forfeit.

0:00:49 > 0:00:52It's a ruthless fight to the finish where there are no winners,

0:00:52 > 0:00:54just a loser.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02Time for challenge one,

0:01:02 > 0:01:05and the Jokers are at the seaside, posing as guides

0:01:05 > 0:01:07welcoming visitors to wet and windy Brighton.

0:01:07 > 0:01:12They must do and say everything the other Jokers tell them via the hidden earpiece.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14If they refuse, they lose.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17First up, it's Marek.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Hello. Look at that face!

0:01:24 > 0:01:27- Smile!- I'm not wearing any pants under this.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32Hello, ladies. Welcome to Brighton. Are you enjoying yourselves today?

0:01:32 > 0:01:36Anything you want to know about Brighton I can help you with?

0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Rub your nipples, rub your nipples and say are you sure?- Are you sure?

0:01:45 > 0:01:46That's pretty good.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51Hello, ladies. Welcome to Brighton. Can I help you with anything today?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55I know just the place. What sort of coffee do you like?

0:01:58 > 0:02:01OK, the place you want to go...

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Do you want a seagull ride?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Do you want a seagull ride?

0:02:07 > 0:02:08Or piggyback?

0:02:10 > 0:02:14I can give you... I am the seagull of the south.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Start squawking towards them.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18MAREK SQUAWKS

0:02:24 > 0:02:27She would have ridden me to heaven and beyond!

0:02:31 > 0:02:36Marek follows his instructions and gets the first pass of the day.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Next up, it's Roisin.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Welcome to Brighton. We've been expecting you.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Give him a hug. Just give him a hug.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47So nice to see you!

0:02:49 > 0:02:52- Nice to see you. Where have you been? - Tell the guy in the hat

0:02:52 > 0:02:54if he goes on the pier, you must pat him down.

0:02:54 > 0:02:58If you're going on the pier, I'll need to pat you down.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00- MALE:- Where?- Seriously.

0:03:00 > 0:03:01OK!

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Pat him down, pat him down! - Pat that fucker down.

0:03:04 > 0:03:05MEN CHAT

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Tell the guy in the woolly hat,

0:03:08 > 0:03:11"I'm going to need a urine sample! Get busy!"

0:03:11 > 0:03:14From you, I'm going to need a urine sample.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Hi, guys! Welcome to Brighton!

0:03:23 > 0:03:27- Can I just ask you a couple of questions about Brighton?- You can.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30What's your favourite thing to do in Brighton in this weather?

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Do you know, I've got some facts to give you.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41Brighton's known to have a werewolf problem. Do you know this?

0:03:41 > 0:03:44Brighton is renowned to have a bit of a werewolf problem.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45- Is it?- Yeah.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Then gradually start turning into a werewolf.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Are you...do you know...

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Start turning into a werewolf. Ask some normal...

0:03:54 > 0:03:57SHE HOWLS

0:03:59 > 0:04:00Thank you.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Roisin also completes the challenge and gets a pass.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Next, it's Joel.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09How about that guy with the rucksack on?

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Welcome to Brighton, sir. How are you?

0:04:12 > 0:04:16Do you want to take advantage of the shopping here, sir?

0:04:16 > 0:04:20It's absolutely incredible. There's so much here to offer.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23You can buy a stick of rock, a bucket and spade.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25"I bought a butt plug."

0:04:25 > 0:04:27"I bought a butt plug", Joel.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31- I mean, I...I bought a... - Joel, what have you been buying?

0:04:31 > 0:04:35I bought some incredible...

0:04:35 > 0:04:36To be honest, I can't get it out.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39"I've had it in since 6am."

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I'm actually moving here.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Then you definitely need one of these!

0:04:43 > 0:04:46I, er...no, no.

0:04:46 > 0:04:50Joel loses his bottle, so he gets the first fail of the day.

0:04:52 > 0:04:53Last up, it's Paul.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56Hello, welcome to Brighton. Thank you.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Thank you for coming.- The thing I like about you, Paul, is,

0:04:59 > 0:05:01you know how to pull off any costume.

0:05:03 > 0:05:07How are you doing? Welcome to Brighton. You having a good day?

0:05:07 > 0:05:09He hated me!

0:05:10 > 0:05:13How are you finding your stay? Got a minute for a chat?

0:05:13 > 0:05:16"Have you heard the reports of a man shitting on seagulls?"

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Hi, guys. Have you heard the report?

0:05:18 > 0:05:20There's a guy apparently walking around

0:05:20 > 0:05:21shitting on the heads of seagulls.

0:05:21 > 0:05:26- Wears a poncho, apparently. - "Looks like a darts player."

0:05:26 > 0:05:29And he looks like an out of work darts player.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Keep your eyes open, ladies, you might see him.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36Welcome to Brighton. Here on holiday?

0:05:37 > 0:05:40No! Can I ask you a quick question about your stay in Brighton?

0:05:40 > 0:05:43You're gorgeous. Mind if I give you a kiss?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45You're gorgeous! Do you mind if I give you a kiss?

0:05:49 > 0:05:50Come on, mate, seriously.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Come on, mate, seriously.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56All right, take care.

0:05:56 > 0:06:01Paul does as he is told and gets himself a pass.

0:06:04 > 0:06:08At the end of the first challenge, Joel's behind with one fail.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11Time for challenge two. The Jokers will be

0:06:11 > 0:06:14posing as reporters for a web-based film channel, but they've got to

0:06:14 > 0:06:18say everything the other Jokers tell them to through the hidden earpiece.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21And if they refuse, they lose.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23First up, it's Joel.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Joel, I think you don't look enough like a presenter.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Can I ask you a few questions about a web-based movie channel

0:06:29 > 0:06:32- we've just started?- Yeah, sure.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34- Absolutely. Are you a fan of films?- Yeah.

0:06:34 > 0:06:38- What's your favourite movie, would you say?- Man, that's tough.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41- I got to say Pulp Fiction. - Pulp Fiction is a great one.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45So what would you say is the last film you saw in the cinema?

0:06:47 > 0:06:49Was it The Avengers, I think?

0:06:49 > 0:06:51What did this guy think of the film,

0:06:51 > 0:06:54and point the microphone at his dick.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56So, what did, um...

0:06:56 > 0:07:00What did this guy think?

0:07:00 > 0:07:05- What? What are you getting at, man? - Put the microphone there. - Joel, get the mic down.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07I mean this guy here...

0:07:09 > 0:07:13- No comment.- No comment! - I thought I heard something.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16I'm sure I heard something. I'm sure I heard something.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- What's your name, I didn't get your name?- David.- David.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22And point down and say "What's that guy's name?"

0:07:22 > 0:07:24And what's this guy's name?

0:07:24 > 0:07:28- I got to go.- You're amazing, David. Thank you so much.

0:07:30 > 0:07:31Oh, God!

0:07:31 > 0:07:35So Joel bags himself a pass.

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Up next, it's Paul.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Hello, there. We're filming for a new web-based film channel

0:07:41 > 0:07:45and we're asking questions about films. Got a couple of minutes?

0:07:45 > 0:07:49- Yeah, not that I watch many films.- That's fine. You watch a few? What's your name?

0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Patrick.- I'm Paul, pleased to meet you.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55How are you doing? Fantastic. We're from Slam Dunk The Funk TV.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58- What's your favourite film? - What's your favourite film?

0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Of all time?- Of all time.- Silence Of The Lambs. That was a good film.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Silence Of The Lambs.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I really fancied the bloke in that.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08That was one of the best films I've seen, yeah.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10I really fancied a bloke in that.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Love it when he tucks it under his legs.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- Any other questions?- I love it when he tucks it under his legs.- Right!

0:08:18 > 0:08:21What's your favourite - popcorn or cock porn?

0:08:21 > 0:08:26What's your favourite - popcorn or cock porn?

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Say that again?

0:08:31 > 0:08:33What's your favourite - popcorn or cork porn?

0:08:33 > 0:08:35- Popcorn.- Yeah, me too.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38MAREK: "Especially the salty stuff."

0:08:38 > 0:08:42- The salty stuff?- Probably. - Probably, me too.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45You can't beat salty popcorn.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51Cheers. Thank you. You've been a great host...guest. Cheers.

0:08:53 > 0:08:54What's your top three films?

0:08:54 > 0:09:00Dune, Lord Of The Rings, obviously, and Harry Potter.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02You like the fantasy stuff?

0:09:02 > 0:09:06- Sci-fi.- OK, sci-fi. - "In your lifetime..." - In your lifetime...

0:09:06 > 0:09:10- how many tits do you think you've actually seen on screen?- Not today.

0:09:12 > 0:09:17Thank you very much. It's been a great interview. Take care. Thank you very much.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20Paul bottles it and gets his first fail of the day.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Now it's Roisin's turn.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26Hello. Is it possible I can ask you some questions for a web-based

0:09:26 > 0:09:30channel about films? It'll take literally two minutes.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33- What's your favourite film of all time?- Grease, definitely.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Great film.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40- I can do all...- I can do all the songs from that.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43- I can do all the songs from that. - And the dance routines, yeah?

0:09:43 > 0:09:46Yeah, I'll do one now. Guess what song. Do the dance routine.

0:09:46 > 0:09:48- Do you recognise this one? - Not really.

0:09:48 > 0:09:53- I think this might be Staying Alive, actually. Um... - Have you ever seen Dirty Dancing?

0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Have you ever seen Dirty Dancing? - Yes. It's a good film.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Did you know all the actors in Dirty Dancing...

0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Did you know the actors... - '..were only allowed on set...'

0:10:01 > 0:10:04- ..were only allowed on set... - ..once they'd shit themselves.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07..once they actually... shit themselves?

0:10:07 > 0:10:08Oh!

0:10:08 > 0:10:10That's actually true.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14I'm doing my only version of it now. It's called Dirty Interview.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18- You've been wonderful. Thank you very much. Thank you.- Thank you.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23That's a first fail for Roisin.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26And finally, it's Marek's turn.

0:10:26 > 0:10:30Hello, sir. Can I ask you a few questions for a new film web-based channel?

0:10:30 > 0:10:32- It'll take two minutes. - Um, yeah.- Ah, thanks, mate.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35- I've got a bit of a cold. - Do your introduction to camera,

0:10:35 > 0:10:40- and change your accent to an Irish accent. Say "I've just got to do my introduction."- OK.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42- COMEDY IRISH ACCENT:- Hello.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Hello there, and welcome to the Film Channel.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48It's one of the best film channels you can see on the internet.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51I'm here, so I am, and here we are.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53What's your favourite film, now, son?

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Um, my favourite film... The recent one is probably Men In Black 3.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Go back into your normal voice.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Men In Black 3, great film. - Yeah, the opening scene was good.

0:11:01 > 0:11:06- Don't give it away, but what happens in the opening scene? - Something to do with tongues.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Something to do with tongues? Sounds like my kind of film.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12THEY LAUGH

0:11:12 > 0:11:15- Keep laughing.- Keep laughing. - Keep laughing.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17That's it, really.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Keep laughing. Until we say stop, keep laughing.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28ROISIN: 'Keep laughing. Keep laughing. Keep laughing.

0:11:30 > 0:11:35'Keep laughing. Keep laughing. Keep laughing. Keep laughing.'

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Keep laughing. Keep laughing.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42'Keep laughing. Keep laughing. More. More. More. More. More.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46'Keep laughing. Keep laughing. Keep laughing. Keep laughing.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49- 'Keep laughing.' - That's right - tongues.

0:11:49 > 0:11:55- Stop it! Stop it!- 'Ask if he's seen Schindler's List. Straight away.'

0:11:55 > 0:11:56"Have you seen Schindler's List?"

0:11:58 > 0:12:03- Hello, can I ask you a few questions for a new film web-based channel?- Yes.- Great, fantastic.

0:12:03 > 0:12:07Say, "If I were a film, I'd be Return Of The Jedi. What would you be?"

0:12:07 > 0:12:08If I were a film, I'd be, um...

0:12:08 > 0:12:10I'd probably be Return Of The Jedi.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12What would you be?

0:12:12 > 0:12:14"Rack" To The Future?

0:12:14 > 0:12:17- What film would I be? - Yeah, yeah.- Why are you laughing?

0:12:17 > 0:12:19I'm just thinking about Return Of The Jedi.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23- Um...- RACK To The Future! - Thank you, thank you very much.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Lovely to meet you. Take care.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29So that's a fail for Marek,

0:12:29 > 0:12:33meaning at the end of round two, all the Jokers have one fail each.

0:12:33 > 0:12:37For the next challenge, the Jokers are in a shopping centre, working

0:12:37 > 0:12:41as graphologists, where they will be analysing the public's handwriting.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45The results of their analysis will be told to them by the other Jokers

0:12:45 > 0:12:48through the hidden earpiece, and if they refuse, they lose.

0:12:48 > 0:12:49First up, it's Marek.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52I hate to point it out, but a lot of these pencils are blunt.

0:12:52 > 0:12:58- That's the least of your worries. - Hello, would you like to do the handwriting analysis? Oh, please!

0:12:58 > 0:13:01I've had no customers all day and I really need some customers.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04- It'll take five minutes.- Brilliant. - Sit down here.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07Great, thank you. Let me tell you a bit about what it is.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10It's graphology. Have you heard of this before, graphology?

0:13:10 > 0:13:12I'll just... It's brilliant. So first of all,

0:13:12 > 0:13:15if you just write down, maybe, what you've done this morning.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19What you've done this morning. Oh, left-handed. Very good.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Ah, very interesting.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25- OK, straight off the bat... - Straight off the bat...- Yes?

0:13:25 > 0:13:27..what this reveals to me...

0:13:27 > 0:13:29You're well attracted to me. THEY CHUCKLE

0:13:29 > 0:13:31..is...

0:13:31 > 0:13:36you're... I mean... Well, you're sort of very attracted to me.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40I can't... I can't...

0:13:40 > 0:13:43Before we move on, I can't do any flirting,

0:13:43 > 0:13:45because we have to concentrate on this, I'm afraid. OK?

0:13:45 > 0:13:50Not today, anyway. What you need to do is write another sentence here.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52Describe your pet in one sentence, here.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56I just want to look at the slants and some of the different angles to it.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Yeah. If you can cut out the attraction stuff, we can move on.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Let's have a look at this again. Now, what this says is...- Yes?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05- Fold it up. - And put it in your pants.

0:14:05 > 0:14:06OK.

0:14:08 > 0:14:09OK.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12I'm just going to store this somewhere.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15'I need to get this verified.'

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Need to get this verified!

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- I just need to verify this. - JOKERS LAUGH

0:14:20 > 0:14:23This is the quickest way to check it.

0:14:23 > 0:14:28Now just do some little thrusts, tiny thrusts. Just tiny thrusts.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Just to verify it. And just say, "Verifying, verifying, verifying."

0:14:32 > 0:14:34Verifying,

0:14:34 > 0:14:37verifying, verifying...

0:14:37 > 0:14:39'Carry on verifying.'

0:14:39 > 0:14:40Verifying.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Verifying.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43OK.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50No, that's not what I thought. OK...

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Um, thank you very much for your time.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Marek gets himself a pass.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Now it's Joel's turn.

0:14:58 > 0:14:59What's your name?

0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Kath, as in Kathleen.- As in...? Kath as in Kath?

0:15:02 > 0:15:06Lovely to see you, Kath. You look very glamorous, very lovely.

0:15:06 > 0:15:09Just write any sentence that comes into your mind, Kath.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Uh, right...

0:15:11 > 0:15:14As she's writing it, start singing it, but in an R&B style.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16# My name is...

0:15:19 > 0:15:23# Kaaaaaaath

0:15:25 > 0:15:26# Kathy Thompson... #

0:15:26 > 0:15:30That's great, that's great. Keep going. Just keep writing.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Keep writing. This is great.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37# My name is Kath Thompson

0:15:37 > 0:15:40# I have a son, Liam

0:15:40 > 0:15:42# I have a son His name is Liam... #

0:15:42 > 0:15:47Now pick it up, look at her straight in the face and say, "Business time."

0:15:47 > 0:15:49This is business time, right here.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Stand up, and sing it.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54A very similar reading, Kath, yeah. It's incredible.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57# I live in Southport, but

0:15:57 > 0:16:01# Come from Liiiiiiverpool

0:16:01 > 0:16:07# I love life and try to live life to the full... #

0:16:07 > 0:16:09- Right.- You're made of magic.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12Joel sings his way to a pass.

0:16:12 > 0:16:16Next up, it's Roisin.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19Could I interest either of you in a free handwriting analysis?

0:16:19 > 0:16:22- How long does it take? - It will take about five minutes.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Well, I'll have a go. - 'Oh, we're in. Here we go. Jackpot.'

0:16:25 > 0:16:28So if you could start by just writing your name

0:16:28 > 0:16:31and what your favourite colour is.

0:16:33 > 0:16:34Try and touch her hair.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37- Full name, or just...? - Just your full name.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41Try and touch her hair. Go on, just try and touch her hair. Go on.

0:16:41 > 0:16:42That is very nice.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48'OK, we're going to look at your slants first of all.'

0:16:48 > 0:16:51OK, so we'll look at your slants to start with. Um...

0:16:51 > 0:16:55- You're really working the angles. - You are really working the angles here.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Don't be frightened to tell me. - I'm going to tell you.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05- It says you have right-wing tendencies.- 'OK, um...'

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Er, what it tells me, just on initial readings,

0:17:10 > 0:17:13is that you probably are quite right-wing.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Um...

0:17:16 > 0:17:20The second thing it tells me, and this is the first time today

0:17:20 > 0:17:22this has happened, and this is unusual...

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Slightly embarrassing - you've got worms.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27Slightly embarrassing.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Um... You might have worms.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31For goodness' sake!

0:17:33 > 0:17:34You're nuts.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38So that's a pass for Roisin.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40And now it's Paul's turn.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44'That's not the face of a content man.'

0:17:44 > 0:17:47Morning. We're doing some free handwriting analysis today.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Have you ever had that done? - No, I haven't.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54Would it be something I could interest you in - the ancient art of graphology?

0:17:54 > 0:17:56- Oh, right, well...- I tell you what -

0:17:56 > 0:17:58- it's fascinating what you can find out.- OK.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- Will it cost me anything?- No, it's free. It's absolutely free.- OK.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04Let's have a go. Come on, sit yourself down. OK.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08Now, let's start with a sentence. I would like you to write your name.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12When you read her name, say, "Come off it. Tell your real name."

0:18:20 > 0:18:22- Elizabeth Homax?- Lomax. Capital L. - Come off it.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26I haven't got time for this. Can you write your real name?

0:18:29 > 0:18:32That's your...? Sorry, OK. It's a lovely name.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36OK, now, if you could just write that in block capitals.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40- What this reveals to me about you... - What this reveals to me about you...

0:18:40 > 0:18:43- '..is, when I read this...' - ..when I read this...

0:18:43 > 0:18:46- 'I hear it like this in my head...' - I hear it like this in my head...

0:18:46 > 0:18:48And now do an African accent.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51ATTEMPTS AFRICAN ACCENT: I had coffee,

0:18:51 > 0:18:53toast,

0:18:53 > 0:18:54and a banana.

0:18:55 > 0:18:56This is how I'm hearing it.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Ask her to write one more thing.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04So what I need you to write now...

0:19:04 > 0:19:05'Your address, please.'

0:19:05 > 0:19:08..if you could write your address.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11- 'I can definitely tell by this...' - I can definitely tell by this...

0:19:11 > 0:19:15..you have excellent personal hygiene...

0:19:15 > 0:19:17You've got excellent personal hygiene...

0:19:17 > 0:19:18..but very loose morals.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21But...

0:19:24 > 0:19:27So Paul refuses to follow his instructions

0:19:27 > 0:19:29and gets his second fail of the day.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Currently leaving him in last place.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37For the final challenge, the Jokers are at Brighton Pier,

0:19:37 > 0:19:39ready to ride the Turbo rollercoaster.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41This is a two-part challenge.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44First, the Jokers can only scream on the dull parts of the ride.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47Secondly, they must talk to the stranger beside them

0:19:47 > 0:19:48about a particular topic.

0:19:48 > 0:19:52They need to complete both actions to avoid a fail.

0:19:52 > 0:19:53First up, it's Joel, who must scream

0:19:53 > 0:19:55at the inappropriate moments

0:19:55 > 0:19:57as well as talking about his mortgage.

0:19:57 > 0:19:58HE SCREAMS

0:19:58 > 0:20:02Seriously! What is going on?!

0:20:10 > 0:20:14Hold me! Hold me! Hold me!

0:20:14 > 0:20:18Hold me! Hold me!

0:20:18 > 0:20:22HE SCREAMS

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Yeah, the bank didn't give me a mortgage, and I was like,

0:20:26 > 0:20:29"Seriously, why wouldn't you give me a mortgage?

0:20:29 > 0:20:33And they said, "What's the point in doing all this now?"

0:20:33 > 0:20:35And I was with Abbey National, and I was like,

0:20:35 > 0:20:39"What the fuck is going on?" Like, every single time.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41I mean, like, how much can I possibly tell her

0:20:41 > 0:20:43that I just don't want a relationship?

0:20:43 > 0:20:46I just don't want a relationship, ever.

0:20:46 > 0:20:50And I'm like, "Stop it. I just want to get over this..."

0:20:50 > 0:20:53HE SCREAMS Seriously! Aargh!

0:20:53 > 0:20:55HE SCREAMS Stop looking at me!

0:20:55 > 0:20:57It's a weird thing to do!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59HE WAILS

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Joel does both parts correctly,

0:21:01 > 0:21:03and gets a pass, avoiding this week's forfeit.

0:21:03 > 0:21:06Next up, it's Roisin,

0:21:06 > 0:21:08who needs to scream on the dull parts of the ride

0:21:08 > 0:21:11and talk about her shoes at the scary parts.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13How do they...does anyone check it?

0:21:13 > 0:21:15It's not down! Check it!

0:21:15 > 0:21:19Get someone to check it! Oh, my God!

0:21:19 > 0:21:22- That's it.- Yeah? - You've got to hold it down, though.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- You've got a lovely beard.- Thanks.

0:21:28 > 0:21:29A really nice beard.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31Have you got a girlfriend?

0:21:31 > 0:21:34- I've got a wife.- You've got a wife.

0:21:34 > 0:21:38I've been trying to get a pair of shoes all day. It's been a nightmare.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41- What, in Brighton?- Yeah, I just can't find them anywhere.

0:21:41 > 0:21:42Trying to get shoes the whole time.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46SHE SCREAMS

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Oh, my God!

0:21:49 > 0:21:52HE SCREAMS

0:21:57 > 0:22:00- Did you not get any shoes? - Couldn't find any shoes anywhere.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04It was a nightmare. I just come on here to try and get over it, really.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Roisin gets it wrong with her real screams,

0:22:09 > 0:22:11putting her in danger of this week's forfeit.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14Now, it's Marek's turn.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Not only does he need to scream in the wrong places,

0:22:17 > 0:22:19he also needs to talk about his mum.

0:22:19 > 0:22:20Is yours fixed?

0:22:20 > 0:22:23- It will be.- Oh, yeah.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29HE SCREAMS

0:22:29 > 0:22:31I don't want this!

0:22:33 > 0:22:35I don't want this to be me!

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Aaaaagh!

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Mum, I hate you!

0:22:46 > 0:22:47No! No!

0:22:53 > 0:22:57HE SCREAMS No! No!

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Not now! Not now!

0:23:11 > 0:23:13I never meant to say those things!

0:23:15 > 0:23:17Marek mentioned his mum

0:23:17 > 0:23:20and screamed when no-one else did, so he gets a pass.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22And now it's Paul's turn.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25To avoid being this week's loser, Paul must not fail.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28He needs to fake scream and talk about football.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31HE LAUGHS Oh, God!

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Aargh!

0:23:34 > 0:23:38Oh, no, this is the worst bit!

0:23:38 > 0:23:40HE SCREAMS Oh, God!

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Oh, no!

0:23:42 > 0:23:45Oh, God, I don't like this! I don't like this!

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

0:23:47 > 0:23:50Oh, no!

0:23:50 > 0:23:53HE SCREAMS

0:23:55 > 0:23:58Oh, God!

0:24:05 > 0:24:08HE SCREAMS AND LAUGHS

0:24:14 > 0:24:16Oh, mate!

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Oh, no!

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Oh, mate!

0:24:21 > 0:24:22A genuinely terrified Paul

0:24:22 > 0:24:25fails on both parts of the challenge,

0:24:25 > 0:24:28and gets his third fail of the day.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30So after all that, Paul's fear of rollercoasters

0:24:30 > 0:24:33bags him the honour of this week's loser.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35And now, it's time to face the consequences.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Paul's forfeit is going to be taking place

0:24:38 > 0:24:40at the world-renowned Royal Institute,

0:24:40 > 0:24:43which is the home to modern science.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Come on, Paul.- There's a good boy.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50Welcome to your punishment!

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Mwah-ha-ha!

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Your audience awaits

0:24:54 > 0:24:58in the world-famous Faraday Lecture Theatre.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00But the thing is, they were expecting

0:25:00 > 0:25:03world-renowned psychologist, Dr Charles Fernyhough,

0:25:03 > 0:25:05but he's done a sickie.

0:25:05 > 0:25:08Anyway, good luck, mate. Be lucky.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Tonight's audience have high expectations,

0:25:10 > 0:25:13but Paul knows nothing about his slide presentation,

0:25:13 > 0:25:15apart from the topic, memory.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18The rest of the presentation has been prepared by the other Jokers,

0:25:18 > 0:25:20which he will see for the first time

0:25:20 > 0:25:22when he walks into the great lecture hall.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Royal Institution.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27My name's John Whitfield, and I'll be your chair.

0:25:27 > 0:25:31Before the main lecture, we've got a short talk by Mr Paul McCaffrey,

0:25:31 > 0:25:34please join me in welcoming Paul to the RI.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37APPLAUSE

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Hi, guys. Thank you.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Thank you very much. I'm going to talk to you today

0:25:43 > 0:25:46very briefly about The McCaffrey Principle.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Thank you very much for coming.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Everything I'm going to tell you is false.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53THEY LAUGH

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Now, I'm just going to talk a little bit

0:25:57 > 0:25:59about liminal recollection

0:25:59 > 0:26:01and ecphoric similarity.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05Now, it may sound like that's the first time I've ever seen that,

0:26:05 > 0:26:07but the truth couldn't be any different.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10Liminal. We all know what liminal is.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12Recollection, very self-explanatory.

0:26:12 > 0:26:16When you put the two words together, you get liminal recollection.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20THEY LAUGH

0:26:20 > 0:26:23Ecphoric. A few of you are thinking, "Ghostbusters." I can see it.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29I'm going to go through the words,

0:26:29 > 0:26:31- 'and then come back.' - He's getting heckled!

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Ecphoric similarity is where

0:26:33 > 0:26:38you've got two very, very separate entities combined together...

0:26:40 > 0:26:43...and that creates an ecphorocism.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47And when you get two of these very, very similar kind of things,

0:26:47 > 0:26:49then you have an ecphoric similarity.

0:26:49 > 0:26:50And when this happens,

0:26:50 > 0:26:53you quite often end up with liminal recollection.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Is everyone keeping up with this so far?

0:26:58 > 0:27:01THEY LAUGH

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Just to go over that, just because I think

0:27:03 > 0:27:05some people are struggling with ecphoric.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07It's a Latin word. Erm...

0:27:07 > 0:27:09..it's not?

0:27:09 > 0:27:10AUDIENCE MEMBER: It's Greek!

0:27:10 > 0:27:13It's Greek. I'm glad. I was just checking a few.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17- You looked like you were nodding off.- Oh, my God!

0:27:17 > 0:27:19And, you know, I...

0:27:19 > 0:27:20that's me and Paul Weller.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26- He hates him! - That's it, ladies and gentlemen.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28I hope you've learned something this evening.

0:27:28 > 0:27:31You've been very patient. Enjoy the rest of your lecture.

0:27:31 > 0:27:32Thank you very much. Cheers.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34APPLAUSE

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Oh, here he is! The genius, Paul!

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Dr Paul McCaffrey, if you don't mind!

0:27:42 > 0:27:43That was horrendous!

0:27:43 > 0:27:46There were some people in there who actually thought

0:27:46 > 0:27:48I was laughing in the face of science.

0:27:48 > 0:27:51One bloke kept heckling me. They hated me.

0:27:53 > 0:27:56That's it for Impractical Jokers, series one.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00- We've laughed... - Peek-a-boo!

0:28:00 > 0:28:01I wipe from the back to the front.

0:28:01 > 0:28:04THEY LAUGH

0:28:04 > 0:28:06That's just common sense.

0:28:06 > 0:28:07..we've cringed...

0:28:07 > 0:28:11God! Oh, no!

0:28:11 > 0:28:13..and we're still all friends.

0:28:40 > 0:28:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd