Episode 1

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0:00:02 > 0:00:12This programme contains some strong language

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Let's party.

0:00:21 > 0:00:24This is the brand-new series of Impractical Jokers,

0:00:24 > 0:00:27the hidden camera show where four comedians compete

0:00:27 > 0:00:30to embarrass each other in everyday situations.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32The jokers are - Joel Dommett.

0:00:32 > 0:00:33I'm a reputable comedian.

0:00:36 > 0:00:37Roisin Conaty.

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Come on!

0:00:38 > 0:00:39Paul McCaffrey.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43- And Marek Larwood. - I can lick myself like a cat.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Pushing each other and their friendships to the limit...

0:00:46 > 0:00:48You're making me go large.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51..they take turns in awkward and embarrassing challenges.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54They've got to do and say everything the other Jokers tell them

0:00:54 > 0:00:55via a hidden earpiece...

0:00:55 > 0:00:58Proper snog. Keep your lips on each other.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00..or they'll face a humiliating forfeit.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01They've run out of paper in here.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04It's a ruthless fight to the finish, where there's no winner,

0:01:04 > 0:01:05just a loser.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Aaah!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Today the Jokers are working at a Glasgow foot spa

0:01:15 > 0:01:17as beauty therapists.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's a... It's a cat shit.

0:01:19 > 0:01:20Maggie!

0:01:21 > 0:01:24And their challenge is to do and say everything

0:01:24 > 0:01:26the other Jokers tell them.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29Now get on the floor like a dog and just scratch your bum.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34- Because...- If we refuse, we lose.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Footloose. It's a film.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39- Let's go touch some people up.- Yes.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44First up, it's Joel.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48His teeth are so white.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51- Have you had them done?- No. - You lying bastard.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53- You've definitely had them done. - No.

0:01:53 > 0:01:55- Do the teeth again. - Oh, my God! Aah!

0:01:57 > 0:01:58Go on, Joel.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Take a seat. You're my first punter of the day.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- Oh, am I?- Yeah. Do you think my teeth are white?

0:02:05 > 0:02:08- They're white.- They're very white. People say they're white.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10I've had my batty bleached as well.

0:02:12 > 0:02:13Say it, Joel.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17I've, erm...

0:02:17 > 0:02:19I've, er...

0:02:19 > 0:02:21I've had my... Had my batty bleached as well.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27You've got great feet. Love your feet.

0:02:27 > 0:02:31'What do they taste like? Have a little lick, Joel. Lick it.'

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Oh, my God.

0:02:37 > 0:02:38'Come on, man.'

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Lick it! Lick it!

0:02:44 > 0:02:46'There we go! There we go!'

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Aaah!

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Delicious.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Say, "That's a blast from the past!

0:02:55 > 0:02:57"Your big toe looks like my cousin's dinkle."

0:03:01 > 0:03:02Your erm...

0:03:03 > 0:03:05'Come on, man.'

0:03:05 > 0:03:06Your, your big...

0:03:08 > 0:03:10'Where have you seen that toe before?'

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Joel refuses to carry out his instructions,

0:03:20 > 0:03:23and in the process gets himself his first fail of the day.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28If you just want to put your shoes there and take a seat.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31I've got a feeling very soon you're going to be staring

0:03:31 > 0:03:35de-feet in de-face. Get it? Staring de-feet in de-face?

0:03:39 > 0:03:43So, say erm... "Sitting in these seats is a bit like potty training."

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Sitting in these seats...

0:03:47 > 0:03:49It's so funny when you sit in these seats, it's like...

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Feels a bit like potty training.

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Now in a baby's voice say, "Daddy, I done a poo-poo."

0:04:02 > 0:04:03- 'Come on.' - 'Come on, Roisin.'

0:04:06 > 0:04:08BABY'S VOICE: Daddy, I done a poo-poo.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14"I've left a brown trail in the bath again"

0:04:20 > 0:04:22BABY'S VOICE: I've left a brown trail in the bath again.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28Roisin, tell him to not worry if he gets an erection,

0:04:28 > 0:04:29it's perfectly natural.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33'Say it.'

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Go on, Roisin, you can do this. You can do this.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40If you feel... If you...

0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Is she going to say it? - Is she going to do it? No.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51Roisin refuses, so she loses and gets herself a fail.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Next up it's Paul.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57Let's get this show on the road, Tara, OK? Total feet.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Total feet.

0:04:59 > 0:05:03- It really is a nice smell, isn't it, that?- It is.

0:05:03 > 0:05:04Start smelling her feet.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08- Mmm.- 'Closer.'

0:05:09 > 0:05:12'Closer.'

0:05:12 > 0:05:13'Work your way up the leg.'

0:05:13 > 0:05:15'Come on, Paul, you can do it.'

0:05:19 > 0:05:20Mmm.

0:05:20 > 0:05:22'Keep going. Work your way up.'

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Mmm!

0:05:24 > 0:05:25'Come on, Paul!'

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Mmm...

0:05:26 > 0:05:28Oh, no! No, no, no! No way.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31'Edinburgh's where I did my training.'

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Edinburgh's where I did my training.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35'Chin massage. The Chinese technique.'

0:05:35 > 0:05:38That's where I learned to chin massage.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40It's a Chinese technique. Do you know about the chin massage?

0:05:47 > 0:05:51Now, you'll feel this. My chin massages the key areas.

0:05:54 > 0:05:55Is that good?

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Erm...

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Is that good?

0:06:01 > 0:06:04- It's... It's strange. - This is three years of training.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Chinny, chinny, chinny!

0:06:08 > 0:06:12So Paul delivers the goods and gets a pass. Finally, it's Marek.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15Go on, then, Marek. Let's massage these fucking feet.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Say it.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Get the water and let's massage these fucking feet.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Just do a bit of exfoliation first. - Don't do...

0:06:27 > 0:06:29- You need cream to exfoliate, you'll hurt her.- OK.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33I'll put the cream on first. I forgot. OK.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34'Raw feet!

0:06:34 > 0:06:37'Put loads on your hand until it's such a big pile.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39'don't stop until we say stop.

0:06:39 > 0:06:40'Keep your eyes on her.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42'Just be looking at her while you're doing it.'

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Now speed up. Speed up. Pump harder.

0:06:49 > 0:06:51'Looking at her. Eye contact.'

0:06:54 > 0:06:56OK.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Keep looking at her, looking at her.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59'Looking at her.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01'Keep looking at her.'

0:07:01 > 0:07:02'Look up. Look up.'

0:07:15 > 0:07:19Don't know if that's the right one, actually.

0:07:19 > 0:07:20You've got some cream on your nose.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Wipe it with your hand.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25Have I got it?

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Look at her face!

0:07:29 > 0:07:30Just sit back and relax.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34So Marek successfully follows all his instructions

0:07:34 > 0:07:36and gets a pass, too.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Meaning that after the first challenge Roisin and Joel

0:07:38 > 0:07:41are joint losers with one fail each.

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Remember, the Joker with the most fails at the end of the show

0:07:44 > 0:07:46will face a humiliating forfeit.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56We're here in sunny Scotland and we're going to be making some

0:07:56 > 0:07:59pretty public announcements with this megaphone.

0:07:59 > 0:08:04I am looking for an open relationship.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07The thing is, we have absolutely no control over what we're going to say,

0:08:07 > 0:08:10as it won't be our own voices coming through the megaphone,

0:08:10 > 0:08:12it will be the voices of the other Jokers.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13My name's Joel Dommett.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18But if we pull the megaphone away before the finish, we lose.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24First up with the megaphone, it's Roisin.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Hi Roisin, how you feeling?

0:08:27 > 0:08:29OK, Roisin, if you can just get the megaphone up to your mouth,

0:08:29 > 0:08:31please, that'd be fantastic.

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Thank you so much.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34'Hello, everybody!

0:08:36 > 0:08:39'My name's Roisin.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41'Is this a bloody wind-up?

0:08:41 > 0:08:44'I'm a star, I've worked the cruise ships,

0:08:44 > 0:08:47'I've done the holiday camps and now look what I've been resorted to.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49'I'm out here selling chicken!'

0:08:49 > 0:08:52CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN

0:08:54 > 0:08:56'I was going to be the king!

0:08:56 > 0:08:59'The king of Cunnilingus City.

0:09:06 > 0:09:10'I am currently urinating down my upper thigh.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12'Please, someone help me.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17'And it comes out at an incredible volume.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19'Upper calf now.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22'Ankle. Socks. Trainers.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25'It's OK, it's OK. I'm finished.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27'Thank you very much for not helping.'

0:09:29 > 0:09:30Well done, Roisin.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31Well done! I'm crying!

0:09:34 > 0:09:37So by keeping the megaphone up for the whole announcement,

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Roisin gets a pass.

0:09:39 > 0:09:40Next up, it's Joel.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43- Are you nervous, Joel?- Very nervous.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46- You should be nervous.- Don't let anyone punch me in the face.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49- He looks like a little model out there.- I'm not a model.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50I'm a reputable comedian.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55What voice should I do for Joel, do you think?

0:09:55 > 0:09:56Ray Winstone. Ray Winstone.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58- JOEL:- No, people are going to... We're in Scotland.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01Shut up and put the megaphone up.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04''Scuse me, everyone, my name's Joel Dommett.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06'I'm just about to take a souvenir photo

0:10:06 > 0:10:10'and I'd really appreciate it if you could clear the immediate area.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12'I really like this place, but I just think that a lot

0:10:12 > 0:10:16'of your faces don't fit in with the beautiful buildings and architecture.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20'It's like a load of ugly aliens have invaded.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22'I'm not angry with you, I pity you.

0:10:22 > 0:10:27'You probably spend most of your life being sick in bins.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30'Just please, please move or look away.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33'Anyone who's attractive, and by that I mean if you look like me,

0:10:33 > 0:10:36'you can stay and maybe you can come back to mine afterwards,

0:10:36 > 0:10:39'cos we need to repopulate this place with normal looking people.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45'That is all. Good night.'

0:10:46 > 0:10:48- Wow!- Can't believe he held it there.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54With Joel seeing it out to the end, he avoids a fail.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Next up, it's Marek.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00- It's actually really scary, isn't it?- Yeah.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02- You feel quite vulnerable, don't you?- Yeah.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Put it to your mouth.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Here we go.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08'Ladies and gentlemen.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13'My name is Marek Larwood.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15'I have come with a message. Please listen to me.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17'It is very, very important.

0:11:17 > 0:11:22'I am the first man to get pregnant with a child.

0:11:23 > 0:11:27'Look at my belly. In here is a child.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30'I had sex with an Alsatian.

0:11:31 > 0:11:36'Today I have chosen your town to give birth to this child,

0:11:36 > 0:11:38'as I hear you are a friendly people.

0:11:38 > 0:11:44'I am now going to squeeze baby out of my wiener.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51'Please look after my baby if I die.

0:11:52 > 0:11:56'Please clap your hands if you will look after my baby Alsatian.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01PEOPLE CLAP AND CHEER

0:12:02 > 0:12:04'Thank you.

0:12:04 > 0:12:05'That is all I have to say.'

0:12:11 > 0:12:14So Marek joins the others with a pass.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Finally, it's Paul.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19Is there anything in particular you don't want us to talk about, Paul?

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Oh, whatever, man, just get it over and done with.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Who's your favourite football team, Paul? Southampton, right?- Yeah.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Southampton. So you definitely don't like Portsmouth.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30Mate, let's just not go there, please.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33How would you feel if we talked about your favourite football club

0:12:33 > 0:12:34Portsmouth, Paul?

0:12:34 > 0:12:37Joel, seriously, let's talk about something else.

0:12:37 > 0:12:38Ready, Paul?

0:12:40 > 0:12:42'Hello.

0:12:42 > 0:12:48'My name is Paul and I am looking for an open relationship.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51'I do not know my arse from my elbow,

0:12:51 > 0:12:55but last night I think I put my finger in my elbow.

0:12:59 > 0:13:00'I still live with my parents

0:13:00 > 0:13:03'and they are fully supportive of my fetish for men that look

0:13:03 > 0:13:08'just like me, but with better hair, a bigger dong and a deeper elbow.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12'Please! Someone love me!

0:13:12 > 0:13:14'There must be someone there for me.

0:13:15 > 0:13:16'I love everybody.

0:13:16 > 0:13:21'Especially people from my favourite town and football club

0:13:21 > 0:13:22'Portsm...

0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Oh, he's out! He's out. Aww! - We spoke about this.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Show's over.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33So Paul removes the megaphone from his mouth early

0:13:33 > 0:13:36and in return gets himself a big fail.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40- That was terrifying. - "Oh, I'm so scared!"

0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Yeah, well, I was.- Why are you scared of everything?- Because...

0:13:43 > 0:13:45Who's this? "Oh! Oh!"

0:13:45 > 0:13:48Well, a man who knows danger when he sees it.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50"This is the scariest street I've ever walked down."

0:13:50 > 0:13:52"These are the scariest trousers I've ever put on."

0:13:52 > 0:13:54"This is the scariest day of my life."

0:13:54 > 0:13:56Yeah, I've actually got a sensitive...

0:13:56 > 0:13:57BABY CRIES

0:13:57 > 0:13:59- There's someone as scared as Joel! - Oh, my God!

0:14:03 > 0:14:05At the end of the second challenge, Roisin, Paul

0:14:05 > 0:14:07and Joel are level with one fail each.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Now we're here in Alloa working in a bakery.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16There's going to be all kinds of cake-based japes.

0:14:16 > 0:14:20No-one wants to hear about me buns! Word!

0:14:20 > 0:14:23In this challenge the Jokers behind the counter have to do

0:14:23 > 0:14:25and say everything we tell them.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Big kiss. - Lovely to meet you.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31And if we refuse, we lose.

0:14:34 > 0:14:36First up, it's Paul.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38- 'Oh, my God, look at him.' - 'Look at him go.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41'Turns out that the same person who ate all the pies,

0:14:41 > 0:14:42'baked all the pies.'

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Whatever they ask you for, say, "They're mine."

0:14:50 > 0:14:51Oh, they're mine.

0:14:53 > 0:14:56I didn't mean to leave those out. Sorry, can I get you something else?

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Oh, they're mine, though...I'm afraid.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01I didn't think I'd put those out.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07I'm really sorry. They're for my lunch.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16You can buy these and these. That's pretty much it I'm afraid today.

0:15:19 > 0:15:20The rest are mine.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25So, what do you want? One of these?

0:15:26 > 0:15:28You would like a French Fancy, OK.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30And have a bite of it as well.

0:15:32 > 0:15:33Oh, can I just have the corner of that?

0:15:36 > 0:15:37Say, "You're going to enjoy that."

0:15:37 > 0:15:38You're going to love that.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42What?

0:15:42 > 0:15:44I just tested it for you.

0:15:44 > 0:15:45Anything else?

0:15:48 > 0:15:49Another French Fancy.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51'Same thing again, please.'

0:15:51 > 0:15:53OK, one more French Fancy.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58I'd stick with that one if I were you.

0:16:03 > 0:16:07Paul successfully completes his challenge, earning himself a pass.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12Next up behind the counter, it's Roisin.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Have I only got one apple pie left? Yeah.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20Now shout, "Brian! Get some apples!"

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Brian, get some apples!

0:16:22 > 0:16:24There's only one apple pie left.

0:16:24 > 0:16:25'I can't believe this.'

0:16:25 > 0:16:27I can't believe this.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Can someone get some apples?

0:16:31 > 0:16:32'Someone call someone.'

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Someone call someone!

0:16:36 > 0:16:38Brian, we need some apples!

0:16:38 > 0:16:41'This happened yesterday!' Get cross about it. Apples!

0:16:41 > 0:16:42It's apples!

0:16:43 > 0:16:45Apples!

0:16:45 > 0:16:47'There's only one left!'

0:16:47 > 0:16:49There's only one left! Apples!

0:16:49 > 0:16:50Is anyone even listening to me?

0:16:52 > 0:16:55I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so sorry.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57£1.79, please. There you go.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59- Thanks very much. - Thank you very much.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01- Really big one this time. - Really big.- "Brian!"

0:17:01 > 0:17:03BRIAN! APPLES!

0:17:05 > 0:17:07That is fucking fantastic.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13Roisin liked their apples and joins Paul with a pass.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Next up, Joel.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Hi there, sir, can I help?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22- Four of those. - Anything else for the beard?

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Is there anything else for the beard?

0:17:27 > 0:17:28Four morning rolls.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30See if you can try and touch his beard.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Grab the beard.

0:17:34 > 0:17:38That's two morning rolls in that one. That's two beard touches.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40Boop boop!

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Whisper to him, "In the woods."

0:17:46 > 0:17:48- In the woods.- Oh.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53Two more morning rolls. There we go. Boop boop!

0:17:53 > 0:17:54Thank you.

0:17:57 > 0:18:02Joel is also successful and joins the other two with a pass.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Last up, it's Marek, looking for his third pass in a row.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Hello, sir, how can I help you?

0:18:11 > 0:18:12I beg your pardon?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Act really camp, Marek, and make everything an innuendo.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Three morning rolls, get you.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Three, is it?

0:18:23 > 0:18:24I bet it is.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28There we go. Three tight buns.

0:18:30 > 0:18:34They're nice and warm. OK, 81 pence. Stop it.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38There's two...

0:18:38 > 0:18:42Four, stop it. Five. Ten.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Super, thank you.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Don't think he liked me.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Hello, how may I help you?

0:18:52 > 0:18:53OK.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55'Down underneath the counter there is some caster sugar.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57'Put it all on your face and then pop back up.'

0:19:07 > 0:19:08Two doughnuts.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Thank you. How much is that all together?

0:19:12 > 0:19:17Marek successfully carries out his instructions and earns another pass.

0:19:20 > 0:19:24So going into the final challenge, Roisin, Paul and Joel are level,

0:19:24 > 0:19:26and if any of them fail the next hit,

0:19:26 > 0:19:28they'll face a humiliating forfeit.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32We Jokers have a few things in common.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34One of those is that we all have noses.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37Now, we're going to put them to good use by planting them

0:19:37 > 0:19:39on complete strangers, a bit like this.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44The challenge is to nose one member of the public as many

0:19:44 > 0:19:45times as possible.

0:19:47 > 0:19:48Wee...

0:19:48 > 0:19:52And the least number of nosings loses.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55First up to nose a stranger is Marek.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59This is going to be so uncomfortable to watch.

0:19:59 > 0:20:03- Is this the front or the back? - Front I think.

0:20:05 > 0:20:09Oh, nose! Oh, nose! Oh, nose!

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Oh, nose!

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Oh, no!

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Don't stand on them!

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Oh, nose! This is all...

0:20:23 > 0:20:25This is always happening.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Get another one, Mark. Go back in.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Oh, nose.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33'Go back in! Go back in!

0:20:33 > 0:20:36'Go back in. Do it.'

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- 'Softly.' - 'Softly does it.'

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Oh... Nose.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47Sorry. Sorry about that.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- It's all right. - It's nice to meet you.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Marek manages to nose someone four times,

0:20:54 > 0:20:57meaning that's the score to beat to avoid getting a fail.

0:20:58 > 0:21:03Next up, Paul. He must beat Marek's score to avoid this week's forfeit.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05Fantastic.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Ah, mate, where did you get that from?

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Oh, my God. He's on, he's on.

0:21:10 > 0:21:14Not the clothes. You're confident! No, this here.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16That, right, literally,

0:21:16 > 0:21:20I drank six cans of that at a party last week and I was like...

0:21:20 > 0:21:21Oh, my God!

0:21:25 > 0:21:28What a sight! How many cans have you drunk of that in one night?

0:21:28 > 0:21:31I drank six once and I was literally like...

0:21:33 > 0:21:35He looks like a mental eagle.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Get more, Paul. - Oh, my God, he's going!

0:21:38 > 0:21:40What film are you going to see?

0:21:40 > 0:21:41Er, Alpha Papa..

0:21:41 > 0:21:43It's supposed to be amazing.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Oh, just before you go, do you know where the McDonalds is?

0:21:47 > 0:21:51- Is it just...? - You have to go, like...

0:21:51 > 0:21:54- Have a good day, guys, yeah? - They left the cinema.

0:21:57 > 0:22:02Paul scores a massive 11 nosings, meaning he's safe from the forfeit.

0:22:02 > 0:22:03Next up is Roisin.

0:22:03 > 0:22:07She must also beat Marek's score of four or face the forfeit.

0:22:07 > 0:22:11- What film are you going to see today, Roisin?- The Night I Killed Marek.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14- Oh, right.- What rating is that?

0:22:14 > 0:22:15PG. No-one cares.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22I'm scared.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25- 'Roisin, you can do this.' - 'Come on.'

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Your nose would look lovely against that pink jacket.

0:22:29 > 0:22:30'Oh, she's doing it. Oh, my gosh.'

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Sorry. Have you got Chanel on?

0:22:32 > 0:22:34- Er...no.- I like it.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37- What perfume is it?- It's er...

0:22:37 > 0:22:38'Oh, she's...'

0:22:38 > 0:22:41- Great, she's going. Look at this! - It's amazing!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43It's er...

0:22:43 > 0:22:44- What's it called?- Miss Dior.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47Miss Dior, yeah. Oh, I love that one, yeah.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50- Wow, you got a proper stride on there, Roisin.- That was good.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53- I've never seen you walk so fast in all of my life.- Cos I'm scared.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Roisin scores four and is tied with Marek,

0:23:00 > 0:23:02but because she has more fails over all,

0:23:02 > 0:23:05she's currently facing this week's forfeit.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08Finally, it's Joel, and if he doesn't beat Roisin's score,

0:23:08 > 0:23:12then he'll be today's loser and the forfeit's his.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14'This is your favourite thing, isn't it, Joel?'

0:23:14 > 0:23:16'Looking for a good nose.'

0:23:16 > 0:23:17I'm really scared.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20- 'He's really scared.' - It feels really impolite.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25'Oh, my God, he looks so tense.'

0:23:25 > 0:23:28'Joel, remember, there's nothing to fear but fear itself.'

0:23:29 > 0:23:31And being punched in the face.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33'Go on, Joel!'

0:23:33 > 0:23:36'How's he going to play this? How's he going to play this?

0:23:36 > 0:23:39'Straight in, bang! He didn't even know!'

0:23:39 > 0:23:40Come back!

0:23:40 > 0:23:42'Oh, God, he's coming back again.'

0:23:45 > 0:23:47You've been spotted.

0:23:48 > 0:23:49'Joel's got the worst technique.

0:23:49 > 0:23:52'You're just going to have to run in at him.'

0:23:52 > 0:23:54'Go on, Joel!'

0:23:54 > 0:23:57'Touch it. I nose you can do this, Joel.'

0:23:58 > 0:23:59'Here we go.'

0:23:59 > 0:24:02'He's going in, he's going in, he's going in...'

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Good work. Right, here we go. We're done. We're done.

0:24:08 > 0:24:13So Joel bottles it and gets only two nosings, the lowest score of all...

0:24:14 > 0:24:17..which means, with two fails to his name,

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Joel is this week's loser and must now face the consequences.

0:24:25 > 0:24:29- Oh!- Why do you look like you've got sexually transmitted diseases?

0:24:29 > 0:24:31- I need a wee really badly. - I'm just trying to hold it in!

0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Oh, that's what it is.- I'm busting for the toilet but I can't go in

0:24:34 > 0:24:36- cos you've gotta go in there. - Is Joel first in the queue?

0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Yeah. But you need a number two, right?- What?

0:24:39 > 0:24:43Your forfeit is to go into that toilet, pull your trousers down...

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- But is there toilet roll? Did you...? - No, there's none left!

0:24:46 > 0:24:48You have to open the door and get a member of the public

0:24:48 > 0:24:51to give you some toilet roll. You've eaten your veggies, right?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Oh, no. You know how I feel about defecation.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55SONG: "Skip To The Good Bit" by Rizzle Kicks

0:24:57 > 0:24:59What's it like in there, Joel? Ready?

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Erm, the...atmosphere is palpable.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Oh, God, the toilet seat is cold.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11'Open the door now, Joel. You need to get some toilet paper.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13'You need to have your trousers down and shout out,

0:25:13 > 0:25:14'"I need some toilet paper."'

0:25:14 > 0:25:16- It feels so weird...- 'Yep.'

0:25:16 > 0:25:19..to have you talking to me whilst I'm holding my penis.

0:25:19 > 0:25:20'Go, go, go!'

0:25:20 > 0:25:22- 'Open the door!' - 'Go, go!'

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Sorry...

0:25:30 > 0:25:31Erm...

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Erm, sorry, has anyone... Er, excuse me, has anyone...

0:25:36 > 0:25:40They've run out of paper in here. Has any one got any er...?

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Has anyone got any sort of er any paper or tissues?

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Newspaper?

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Has anyone got anything?

0:25:51 > 0:25:53I really need some...

0:25:53 > 0:25:56- Yeah, yeah.- You've got some paper? Dude, you're an absolute...

0:25:56 > 0:25:59The Financial Times. Only the best. Thank you so much.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Have you read this already? I don't want to give it back.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Thank you so much. Thank you.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Thank you so much, guys. Thank you.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09- That is so horrific.- The FT!

0:26:13 > 0:26:17- Joel, you can get out, mate. - It's self-cleaning, Joel. Get out.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19I'd love it if he was in there when it started...

0:26:19 > 0:26:20Oh, no, get out, Joel. Get out.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25- Have you washed your hands, Joel? - I actually haven't.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28This has been against... This has been against penis.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31It's good to know that people were there to help out, though, was it?

0:26:31 > 0:26:34Yeah, I mean, it was nice he gave me the Financial Times.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37- How would that feel against skin? - Terrible, actually, it was terrible.

0:26:37 > 0:26:38I much prefer the Sun.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40- Were you scared?- That was...

0:26:40 > 0:26:42That's the most scared I think I've been so far.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48That's all for Impractical Jokers this week.

0:26:48 > 0:26:52Next time, the Jokers do sensitivity training at work...

0:26:52 > 0:26:55I think Roisin was actually just sick in her mouth.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58..become receptionists and reveal shocking secrets.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00My shits are completely transparent.