0:00:20 > 0:00:21Let's go touch some people up.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25This is Impractical Jokers - the hidden camera show
0:00:25 > 0:00:28where four comedians compete to embarrass each other
0:00:28 > 0:00:30in everyday situations.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32The jokers are Joel Dommett...
0:00:32 > 0:00:34SPANISH ACCENT: My name is Pedro.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37..Roisin Conaty...
0:00:37 > 0:00:39I am better than you.
0:00:39 > 0:00:41- ..Paul McCaffrey...- I genuinely don't think I can do this.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- ..and Marek Larwood.- Thank you very much for your time.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47They have to do and say everything the others tell them
0:00:47 > 0:00:49or face a forfeit.
0:00:49 > 0:00:50# I'm a referee lover! #
0:00:50 > 0:00:53It's a ruthless fight to the finish, where there's no winner,
0:00:53 > 0:00:54just a loser.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Aww!
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Hello there, how can I help you?
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Yay! We're working in a chicken shop.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10Let's party.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12SHE CLUCKS
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Fries are...£10 each.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18The challenge is to do and say what the other jokers tell us.
0:01:18 > 0:01:19Ahh!
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Ahh!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23- I love... - he mumbles through food
0:01:23 > 0:01:25And if we refuse, we lose.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27What else do you want?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31First up is Marek.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35Classic family bucket... Will it feed three people?
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Hungry, how hungry?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41'Have you ever kissed anyone?'
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Have you ever kissed anyone?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46'Turn round and get a piece of chicken'
0:01:46 > 0:01:49'and eat the chicken really seductively.'
0:01:49 > 0:01:52'Go on, chat her up, Marek. Give her a bit of the old Marek charm.'
0:01:56 > 0:01:58'And then sort of suck the chicken off.'
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Put the bone under your hat.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19I tell you what, this one's a keeper.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Hello, sir, how are you doing? What would you like?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27You do, normally, half chicken?
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Yeah, you can have a half chicken, yeah.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31'I think your phone might be ringing, Marek. Brring, brring.'
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Yeah, yeah, half chicken, drink, fries...
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Oh, sorry, one second. Sorry, mate, just be one second.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Sorry, just get this. Hello.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42'And it's your flatmate. You left a massive shit in the toilet.'
0:02:42 > 0:02:45No, that wasn't... I didn't do that.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I didn't do that. Sorry.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49I didn't leave a massive shit in the toilet.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52'It was up the walls.'
0:02:52 > 0:02:54It wasn't...! There's no way it got on the walls.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56'It was on the walls! It was up the walls!'
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Must have been someone else, it wasn't on the walls.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00'Why was it curly? It was definitely curly.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Mine aren't curly. I don't do the curly ones.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Sorry, one second. Sorry, mate. I don't do the curly ones!
0:03:05 > 0:03:08I'll clean the shit when I get home, all right? Thank you.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Sorry about that.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Half chicken...
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Marek follows his instructions
0:03:15 > 0:03:18and earns himself his first pass of the day.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Next up, it's Joel.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24'Here we go. Joel's first day.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26'He's about to go out on his way to Pearl Harbour.'
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Welcome. Let's get you some chicken.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Spicy wrap. - Just the wrap.- Just the wrap.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35'Would you like it as hot as you are?'
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Chilli sauce and mayonnaise? Chilli.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Would you like that as hot as you are?
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Would you like that as hot as you are, eh?
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Cheeky.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Eat in or take away, sir?
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Um, eat in please.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50- Eating in. - 'You've got lovely eyes.'
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Are you new here? - What's that mate?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- Are you new here? - Fairly new, yeah, yeah.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- 'My first day.' - Well, it's my first day.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You've got lovely eyes.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Would you like to go large?
0:04:02 > 0:04:03No, I don't want a meal.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06'I tell you what, you're making me go large.'
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Tell you something, you're, em...
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Tell you something, you are...
0:04:15 > 0:04:17- ..making me go large.- Sorry?
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- There you go, mate.- Thank you very much.- Enjoy that, enjoy it.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28Right, who likes chicken? Let's do this.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29You all right, mate? Have you been served?
0:04:29 > 0:04:32- Chicken and chips or something. - Can we have a meal,
0:04:32 > 0:04:33chicken and chips?
0:04:33 > 0:04:34'OK, so just repeat the order back to them,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37'but thrust with everything you say.'
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Eight spicy wings! That's how many spicy wings?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42You got one, two, three, four...
0:04:42 > 0:04:45'Say "Do you want ketchup, mayonnaise..."
0:04:45 > 0:04:47- 'and then "..hot sauce" with a thrust.'- Hot sauce!
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Hot sauce.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Nice to meet you, come on.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Joel successfully carries out his instructions
0:05:03 > 0:05:05and joins Marek with a pass.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Next up, it's Roisin.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10A fillet burger meal.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13'OK, I want you to hold one eye open and close the other eye.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14'Do your doll's eye.'
0:05:18 > 0:05:19You like chicken?
0:05:19 > 0:05:21We do half grilled chicken, we do chicken nuggets,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23we do chicken wings.
0:05:26 > 0:05:27'Even creepier'
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Do you want mayonnaise?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- OK. - 'Creepy smile again, please.'
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Sure you don't want to take away?
0:05:41 > 0:05:42OK.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44That is unbelievable.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Would you like any dessert?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- No, I'm fine. - Have a lovely day, sir.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Roisin does as instructed and lands herself a pass.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Finally, it's Paul.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Will he be the only one that fails?
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Hello, mate.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Hello. - How you doing, OK? Fantastic.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10'So I want you to go down, be like a goblin,
0:06:10 > 0:06:13'be like a goblin from Lord of the Rings.'
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- CREEPY VOICE: - Oh, he wants chicken, does it?
0:06:21 > 0:06:25Chicken, little bit of chicken for the man. Oooh...
0:06:26 > 0:06:28'And back to yourself.'
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Sorry, sir. Um...
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Chips with it. - Chips? Yeah, no problem at all.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- 'Down, be goblin again.' - What goes with it?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Little chippy with it.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39He wants chippies.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Oh, chippy, chippy, chip.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Chippies, one chicken...
0:06:47 > 0:06:49HE LAUGHS CREEPILY
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Naughty chicken.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53MANIC CLUCKING
0:06:53 > 0:06:55HE LAUGHS CREEPILY
0:06:55 > 0:06:57'Oh, my God!'
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Four chicken!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03HE LAUGHS CREEPILY
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Five chickens!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09HE LAUGHS CREEPILY
0:07:09 > 0:07:11'Go straight face, "Do you want mayonnaise?"'
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Do you want mayonnaise with those?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Paul successfully follows his instructions
0:07:20 > 0:07:21and gets a precious pass...
0:07:23 > 0:07:25..meaning that, after the first challenge,
0:07:25 > 0:07:27the jokers are level with no fails.
0:07:31 > 0:07:35These days, everybody has a blog. Even this guy.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Excuse me. Hiya.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Can I possibly take a photo of you?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Our challenge today is to get people to pose for photos for our blog.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44It'll take one second. Oh, go on.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48We have no idea of the name of our blogs until the others tell us.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- It's called, eh... - 'It's called Swinger for Sure.'
0:07:50 > 0:07:53It's called em, Scots Against Pensioners.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55It's called Wrestle for Shopping.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57And if we don't get anyone to pose, we fail.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02First up is Paul.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Your collar's tied so tight, you're like a priest on a day out.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Bless you, my children.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Hello, my friend. I'm just doing a new blog at the moment...
0:08:13 > 0:08:15No problem.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- You've really cleared out the area, Paul.- I know.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Last time this happened was when I DJ'd at my birthday party.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Hi there. Hope you're having a great afternoon shopping.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29I've started a new blog and you'd be absolutely perfect for it.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Is it OK to get a photo for my blog.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35'It's called 'Nipples - Bigger and Better This Time.'
0:08:35 > 0:08:38It's called Nipples - Bigger and Better This Time.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40OK? Fantastic.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Are they saying yes?! No!
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Fantastic, great. All the best, have a great day, girls.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Oh, my God!
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Hello, mate.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I'm running a blog at the moment
0:08:51 > 0:08:53and I'd just like to get a photo of you, if that's OK.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55'It's called Never Been Fingered.'
0:08:56 > 0:09:00- What's the blog?- It's called Never Been Fingered.- Oh.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01What?!
0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Have a good day, yeah.- Total lie.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Total lie? Oh, Christ, sorry!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Paul successfully gets some photos using the blog names
0:09:13 > 0:09:17given by the jokers, so gets a pass.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Next up, it's Joel.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Excuse me, sir.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26I was wondering, you're absolutely...
0:09:26 > 0:09:29I just want to quickly take a photo of you for my blog.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32I'm doing lots of different people here today. It'd be really quick.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34'The blog's called Noses That Look Like a Penis.'
0:09:34 > 0:09:36The blog's called, em...eh...
0:09:38 > 0:09:42It's basically called Noses That Look Like...
0:09:44 > 0:09:46..Princes.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Oh, you...! Come on, mate.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Excuse me, I was just wondering
0:09:49 > 0:09:51whether I could take a quick photo of you for my blog?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53It's called...
0:09:53 > 0:09:55'Junk Junk Tug Tug.'
0:09:55 > 0:09:58It's called Junk Junk Tug Tug. It's a very strange...
0:09:58 > 0:10:01No. I don't think I will be...
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Sir, I was just wondering
0:10:05 > 0:10:07if I could take a quick photo of you for my blog.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10You're absolutely perfect for it. It's... It's basically...
0:10:10 > 0:10:12'It's called Three Inches or Less.'
0:10:12 > 0:10:14It's called...
0:10:14 > 0:10:18It's called just Guys With Glasses.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Fail, bail.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Joel bottles it and gets a fail.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Next up, it's Roisin.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Excuse me, sir, can I have a quick word?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35I write a blog and I was wondering
0:10:35 > 0:10:37if I could get a photo of you?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39- 'Please.' - What kind of blog?
0:10:39 > 0:10:41It's very straightforward, it's called...
0:10:41 > 0:10:43People I'd Definitely Beat in a Fight.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45It's quite a...
0:10:45 > 0:10:50It's called People I'd Definitely Beat in a Fight.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55No, you're all right, thanks.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57That poor man.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01I write a blog and I was wondering if I could get a photo for it.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- Uh-huh, what's the blog? - It's called, em...
0:11:03 > 0:11:05'Don't Mind If I do.'
0:11:08 > 0:11:09It's called Don't Mind If I Do.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Yes!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- OK, yeah, go for it. - Yeah? Brilliant.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Big smile.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Now say "Do you mind if I do?"
0:11:18 > 0:11:19Do you mind if I do?
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Roisin gets her photo and joins Paul with a pass.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Finally, it's Marek.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Ladies, would you mind if I took a photo of you for my blog I'm doing?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- Yeah, that'd be weird, no. - It's not a weird blog.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Excuse me, ladies,
0:11:39 > 0:11:42could I possibly take a photo of you for a blog that I'm doing?
0:11:42 > 0:11:43- No, no, thank you.- Oh, OK.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Excuse me, ladies,
0:11:47 > 0:11:50could I possibly take a photo of you for a blog I'm doing?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Eh...- It won't take a second. It'd be really helpful.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54It's called, the blog's called...
0:11:54 > 0:11:57'Look Who I'm With Now, Sarah, You Cheating Slag.'
0:11:59 > 0:12:03Look... Look Who I'm With Now, Sarah, You Cheating Slag.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- Cheese?- No, thanks. - No, you're all right!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- Ah!- In your face, Marek!
0:12:11 > 0:12:13- Excuse me, mate, could I take a photo of you for my blog?- Yeah.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15'It's called People Who Look Like' Me.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- It's called People Who Look Like Me.- OK...
0:12:22 > 0:12:23Brilliant.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Yes!
0:12:28 > 0:12:33Marek eventually gets his photo and avoids a fail,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35meaning, that after two challenges,
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Joel is the current loser with one fail.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Hello there, how are you? Nice to meet you.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44'Now we're posing as millionaires and have been paired off to give
0:12:44 > 0:12:46'presentations giving tips on how to be successful.'
0:12:46 > 0:12:48To be successful, you need to think
0:12:48 > 0:12:50I am better than you, you, you, you.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54The catch is the presentation is written by the other two jokers
0:12:54 > 0:12:56so we have no idea what bullshit is contained.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58PUmphengrind.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00'The challenge is to deliver it convincingly.'
0:13:00 > 0:13:02I... I feel quite scared.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Let's up the ante.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Oh, my God.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09'At the end, we'll ask the class to rate our presentations.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12'The pair with the lowest score loses.'
0:13:15 > 0:13:18First up are Roisin and Paul.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20- Hey, guys.- Hello. - Thank you for coming.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22OK, Paul, take it away.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23Thank you.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Section 1. The Dream.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I think it's obviously important to start with the dream.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- 'These are your dreams, Paul.' - My list.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33My own home.
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Don't currently have that
0:13:34 > 0:13:37so that one's very much a dream at the moment.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Leisure time.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41'Is that how you spell leisure, Paul?'
0:13:41 > 0:13:43A nice get up.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44'Explain it, please.'
0:13:44 > 0:13:47So, I think it's important to look your best at all times.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- 'Like today.' - Like today, for example.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53I've put a suit on. I like to look well presented.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58'What's that Paul? Watching 16 to 18-year-old girls kissing?'
0:13:59 > 0:14:02'Say it, Say it.'
0:14:02 > 0:14:04That's something...
0:14:04 > 0:14:07OK, well that's just something I've... Sorry.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Thank you, Paul. I really enjoyed that explanation.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18How I became successful.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20- 'Here we go.- Oh, God.'
0:14:20 > 0:14:26M x P = Su... What?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Success...
0:14:28 > 0:14:30P = Pubes.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34M = My.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Just think about it before you judge,
0:14:40 > 0:14:42put your...
0:14:42 > 0:14:44This is your... Your own brains are saying,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47"That... Well, it's madness", but think about it.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Oh, my God.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- 'Great atmosphere in there. - This is great.'
0:14:53 > 0:14:56OK, this is just about my philosophy.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Explain it, please.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03PUmphengrind.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07I don't see nothing wrong with a little PUmphengrind.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11This is a German philosophy.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13It's very... It's a very simplistic kind of approach
0:15:13 > 0:15:16to everything that you do. Eh, it's just, "What do I want?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18"How am I going to achieve it
0:15:18 > 0:15:20"in the most straightforward and simple way?"
0:15:20 > 0:15:22PUmphengrind.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Dopple PUmphengrind - quite straightforward.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31You're not achieving what you want, let's up the ante.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33Let's double our efforts.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43PUmphengrind Massive.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Again, you... Doors are closing,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49you're really, kind of... Nothing is happening for you
0:15:49 > 0:15:52and this is when you would go to PUmphengrind massive.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54'Look at Roisin's face!'
0:15:54 > 0:15:58What we'd like to do is just by way of a show of hands,
0:15:58 > 0:16:01if you've found that useful, please put your hands up.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- 'What? Oh...- Oh, my gosh. Two.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07'It's below average, though, it's below average.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08'Not very successful, ironically.'
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Two show of hands.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Roisin and Paul get two raised hands -
0:16:13 > 0:16:15the total the other pair must now beat
0:16:15 > 0:16:17to avoid a fail.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Next up, Joel and Marek.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Secret To My Success - that's the title.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25Section 1, Goals.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28Profit.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31Obviously, profit is a big 'factability' in our success.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Personal achievement - some people measure their success
0:16:35 > 0:16:37on their levels of personal achievement.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Susan. Eh...
0:16:42 > 0:16:43'Who's that, Joel?'
0:16:43 > 0:16:48Eh, Susan is... Has always been a goal of mine.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52And, eh, one day, hopefully, I'll get Susan.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Eh, employ wisely, guys.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59This is absolutely something I keep saying.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Employ wisely and look after your staff
0:17:03 > 0:17:05because, if you don't look after your staff,
0:17:05 > 0:17:06they won't look after you.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09And so...
0:17:10 > 0:17:11'Who's that, Joel?'
0:17:12 > 0:17:15These are... These are... These are some of the...
0:17:15 > 0:17:18These are some of the staff that... You know, eh...
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Em...
0:17:20 > 0:17:25They, you know... They might not look it, but they are so happy.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Em, there you go, Marek.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30OK. This is my mantra.
0:17:30 > 0:17:35It's what I go for inspiration.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38It means...
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Birds by the pots and the trees
0:17:42 > 0:17:50don't look like the birds by the birds by the...hedges.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52'You're really inspiring them, Marek(!)'
0:17:52 > 0:17:56But when you go under the shade by the weird umbrella,
0:17:56 > 0:18:00you might plant the seed of a ladder
0:18:00 > 0:18:04which allows you to fly like an owl
0:18:04 > 0:18:06and eat with a spoon and ride like a horse.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09Then you'll see...your dinner.
0:18:13 > 0:18:15This is drawing to a close now, so always remember...
0:18:16 > 0:18:22..bumholes don't cry and...love the one you're with.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27And now I'll show you the s...
0:18:30 > 0:18:32The snog of success.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Thing is, is that spelt wrong? - Is that a song or a snog?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36'Snog, no, it's the snog.'
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- It wasn't spelt wrong. - Who is that with?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40'You need to demonstrate the snog of success.'
0:18:40 > 0:18:42And then this is...
0:18:42 > 0:18:46Something that we've found is that, eh...
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Don't be scared, have no prejudices.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- I feel quite... I feel quite scared, though.- Me too.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53'Come on!'
0:18:53 > 0:18:55So just basically...
0:18:55 > 0:18:57No barriers. This is just an example.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- Congratulations.- Congratulations.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01'A proper snog.'
0:19:13 > 0:19:17- Keep your lips on each other. - Five...- A proper snog, a proper snog.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- '..four. - Come on, proper snogging.'
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I mean, that's about it.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Very, very successful. OK.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Em...thank you very much for your time. Thank you.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Em, raise your hand if you found that helpful.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Three, four. Four people.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- 'Come off it.- In what way?'
0:19:39 > 0:19:43- Four's pretty good.- Well done. - Well done. I'd say that's a success.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Another kiss?- Eh, nah!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51With a score of four, Joel and Marek
0:19:51 > 0:19:52beat Roisin and Paul,
0:19:52 > 0:19:55earning themselves a couple of passes.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57So, after the third challenge,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Roisin, Paul and Joel are level on one fail each,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03and, if any of them fails the next challenge,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05they'll face the humiliating forfeit.
0:20:07 > 0:20:09We loved the cash and carry.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12It's got everything you could ever want, ever.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Except we're not allowed to take anything from the shelves,
0:20:15 > 0:20:17we're only allowed to do our shopping by taking things
0:20:17 > 0:20:19out of other people's trolleys.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Oh, sorry.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24And whoever gets the least amount of items, gets a fail.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32First up to take items out of other shopper's trolleys is Joel.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Joel, push your trolley properly. That's it.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Use the bar provided.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41'That guy's just parked up, he's tempting, he's saying, "Go on".
0:20:41 > 0:20:44'Who parks like that outside a meat counter?
0:20:44 > 0:20:46'Oh, my God, he's on, he's got something.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49'He's got some car mats!
0:20:54 > 0:20:56'Can you even drive?
0:20:56 > 0:20:57'Deep breaths.'
0:21:00 > 0:21:01'Get the meat, Joel.'
0:21:01 > 0:21:03'Go, go, go.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07'Oh, he's got it.'
0:21:07 > 0:21:08'Great.'
0:21:10 > 0:21:12'He's spotted you. he's spotted you.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13'Keep walking.'
0:21:13 > 0:21:15- JOEL:- I'm so scared, I'm so scared.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Well done, Joel.
0:21:19 > 0:21:24Joel takes two items, meaning that's the score to beat to avoid a fail.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Next up, it's Marek.
0:21:28 > 0:21:29'Look at him. The most sinister man in...'
0:21:33 > 0:21:37'Go, go, go, go. One thing.'
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Oh, sorry.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45'Go on, get this guy.'
0:21:48 > 0:21:50'One item. Oh, he's in.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52'Yes!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56'He's getting it all!'
0:21:57 > 0:21:59'You can say what you want about Marek
0:21:59 > 0:22:01'but he doesn't mess about, does he?'
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I was so scared I had to run.
0:22:11 > 0:22:17Marek successfully takes four items, beating Joel's total,
0:22:17 > 0:22:19which gets him a pass.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Next up, it's Roisin.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27Baby in the pram.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29'Only counts as one item.'
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Oh, hello. Come to Momma.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40'Oh, look at that. Oh what's that? Get the printer.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42'She's got a whole printer. Go on, get the printer.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48'See if you can get as much stuff as you can.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53'Oh, no.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57'Absolutely brutal. Get the whole printer.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05'Get it, get it! She's going without it!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07'Go back for the printer!'
0:23:17 > 0:23:21Roisin takes six items, meaning she gets a pass
0:23:21 > 0:23:23and avoids facing the forfeit.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Finally, it's Paul.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29To avoid doing this week's forfeit,
0:23:29 > 0:23:31he must now beat Joel's total of two items.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34'Paul, is it true that every time you steal something
0:23:34 > 0:23:35'your jumper shrinks?'
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I hate to admit this, but I am absolutely bricking myself.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Hold on, is SAS training just finished?
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Because, all of a sudden,
0:23:49 > 0:23:52loads of really hard men just turned up.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57'I think you should go for the mouthwash, Paul.'
0:23:57 > 0:23:59'Go, go, go!'
0:23:59 > 0:24:01'He's so massively bottled!'
0:24:01 > 0:24:05- 'I haven't seen you scared before, Paul.- I've not either.'
0:24:06 > 0:24:08'There he is.'
0:24:10 > 0:24:12That man's shouting "Oi!"
0:24:12 > 0:24:13He was shouting "Oi!"
0:24:17 > 0:24:20You got a problem where you have to take stuff out our trolley?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22No, sorry, mate, I didn't realise that was a trolley.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- I thought that was a thing. - It was our trolley.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- Sorry, mate, I didn't realise. - Cheers, thanks.- No worries.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- It's about 15 rows back that way. - Cheers, mate,
0:24:30 > 0:24:32have a good day.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Think I'm about to get my head kicked in.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37I'm actually finding this genuinely scary.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38I am absolutely shitting myself.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41There's just like loads of massive blokes buying big slabs of meat.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I genuinely don't think I can do this.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48So Paul scores himself a big fat zero.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55Which means, with two fails to his name, Paul is today's loser
0:24:55 > 0:24:57and must now face the consequences.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- Loser, loser! - Oh, here comes Mr Loser.
0:25:02 > 0:25:03Loser revealed
0:25:03 > 0:25:04Oh, poor Paul.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07How are you? All right?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09To console yourself having lost,
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- why don't you treat yourself to a cup of coffee?- Oh, thanks, Marek.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Yeah, you can take this laptop with you too,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15and watch a little film we've prepared for you.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Right.- Maybe take the speaker and watch it on loudspeaker
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- so everyone else can hear.- Make sure you don't stop the film, Paul,
0:25:21 > 0:25:22until the cockerel crows.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Right.- We'll see you after and try not to spill your milk.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Go on, mate.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30'There he is.'
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Here's Paul. He looks pretty seedy.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Glad you're on a wipe clean sofa there, Paul.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40'Just get on with it. Press play on the laptop, go on.'
0:25:40 > 0:25:42'Go on, Paul, just press play on the laptop,
0:25:42 > 0:25:44'just watch a nice little video.'
0:25:45 > 0:25:48PORNOGRAPHIC SFX SEXUAL PANTING AND MOANING
0:25:48 > 0:25:50'Look serious, just look down at it.'
0:25:53 > 0:25:55LOUD SEXUAL SLAPPING SOUNDS
0:25:55 > 0:25:57'No bailing, Paul.'
0:26:05 > 0:26:08FEMALE MOANING
0:26:08 > 0:26:10No smiling, you perv.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15COMIC / EXAGGERATED MALE GROANING
0:26:27 > 0:26:29GROANING / MOANING CONTINUES
0:26:37 > 0:26:40It's not over until the cockerel crows, Paul, remember that.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Are they telling him off?
0:26:49 > 0:26:52LOUD SEXUAL MOANING CONTINUES
0:26:52 > 0:26:54'Don't you turn it down, don't you turn it down.'
0:26:54 > 0:26:55HORSE NICKERS
0:27:00 > 0:27:04HUMAN MOANING INCREASES
0:27:06 > 0:27:07HORSE NEIGHS
0:27:07 > 0:27:09COCKEREL CROWS
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- 'Oh, well done, Paul.- There we go.'
0:27:13 > 0:27:15'We enjoyed that.'
0:27:20 > 0:27:23ROISIN MIMICS SEX NOISES
0:27:24 > 0:27:26You are evil! Oh, you are evil.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29It was your voices that was the worst bit.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30It was disgusting.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32You made a good perv, though.
0:27:32 > 0:27:33You looked like you'd done it before.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35You looked bored watching it.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Need something a bit more spicy, to be honest with you.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44That's all from Impractical Jokers this week.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Next time, the jokers talk nonsense...
0:27:46 > 0:27:47I can lick myself like a cat.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49..pretend to know people...
0:27:49 > 0:27:50Bob, Bob!
0:27:50 > 0:27:51..and read fortunes.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- Chaka Khan! - Oh, I dinnae like this.