0:00:02 > 0:00:19This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:26 > 0:00:31Welcome to this year's collection of the most annoying people of 2011.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Hi, are you all right?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34ARGH!
0:00:37 > 0:00:41In Britain, the more wrong it goes, the more we like it.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Celebrities always annoying people.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44Over the past 12 months, we've been drawing up a hit list
0:00:44 > 0:00:47of the most annoying people from around the globe.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49This beautiful flower for you.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52He's lucky Madonna didn't take that hydrangea and slap him.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Pop stars.- Hello, everybody.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58- Politicians.- I'll never forgive him. I'm not returning his calls at all.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00Phone hackers.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03Staff have been putting the finishing touches to the last edition
0:01:03 > 0:01:07of the News of the World because of the latest phone-hacking allegations.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12All the ones that have done their best to rattle our cages and trouble our Twitter.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15We've got superstar meltdowns...
0:01:15 > 0:01:19All he talked about was hookers and drugs and money, and he's really lost.
0:01:19 > 0:01:23- ..super injunctions... - How about you just don't do shit? How about that?
0:01:23 > 0:01:24How about you just behave?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27..and some super-enhanced bodies.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31I can walk around with a T-shirt that says, "Call my agent". I'm annoying.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35Geordies gave TV a whole new breed of extra annoying reality stars.
0:01:35 > 0:01:40Any girl that spits in a man's face is a girl I want to be rolling with.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47- Katie Price got herself a new man... - I haven't got a particular type.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51..and, never one to be outdone, Lindsay Lohan got herself a new prison sentence.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55The fact that she just wants to nick things is appalling.
0:02:03 > 0:02:062011 has also been the year of the unexpected.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Looters and rioters shattered our big cities.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12A famous fashionista fell from grace.
0:02:12 > 0:02:18You can be the most coolest person in fashion, but that kind of behaviour has to be held accountable.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22And no-one could have predicted that a bridesmaid's derriere
0:02:22 > 0:02:25would steal the limelight from a Royal bride.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Pippa's bum just took over the nation.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30So, sit back and get ready to vent with vehemence
0:02:30 > 0:02:35as we continue our trip through the most annoying people of 2011.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Next on our list, it's everyone's favourite annoying popstar.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48Another vintage year for the first lady of annoying behaviour began back in January.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Her Grammy outfit in 2010 was the infamous meat dress.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55This year, she arrived being carried in a giant egg.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58She claimed to have been in the egg for three hours
0:02:58 > 0:03:00getting herself in character, ready for the show,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03which kind of sounds a bit ridiculous.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06What character was she trying to get into, a chick?
0:03:06 > 0:03:11# This time I'm not leaving without you... #
0:03:11 > 0:03:15But the Grammys weren't the only awards this year where Gaga had us gagging.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Most annoying for me this year with Lady Gaga was when she turned up
0:03:18 > 0:03:23to the MTV Awards as her male alter ego, I think it was Jo Calderone.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28She looked like Shane MacGowan from The Pogues on acid
0:03:28 > 0:03:30and that she needed a really good wash.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34So poor Britney Spears must have been terrified
0:03:34 > 0:03:36when Gaga tried to snog her.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38You're like, "Gaga, that's already been done.
0:03:38 > 0:03:43"Madonna, the person you copy every day, has already snogged Britney."
0:03:43 > 0:03:47# My momma told me when I was young... #
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Snogging Britney wasn't the only time Gaga was accused
0:03:50 > 0:03:54of taking her love of Madonna a bit too far this year.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Her single Born This Way also sounded a touch familiar.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00It was a cover of Express Yourself!
0:04:00 > 0:04:03I'm amazed Madonna's lawyers haven't been on the phone
0:04:03 > 0:04:05and suing the arse off her.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11The Born This Way/Express Yourself phenomenon, where you play
0:04:11 > 0:04:15both of the songs at the same time and sounds exactly like it...
0:04:15 > 0:04:18# I'm beautiful in my way Cos God makes no mistakes
0:04:18 > 0:04:23# I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way... #
0:04:23 > 0:04:28# Don't go for second best, baby, put your love... #
0:04:28 > 0:04:29It's true, it's all true.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32- But is it an homage?- No.
0:04:32 > 0:04:33- Is it inspiration?- No.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Or is it like when I go to the mall and steal something?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41That's like when you go to the mall and steal something.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44When Gaga was asked about the controversy,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47she said she wouldn't be moronic enough to rip off another artist,
0:04:47 > 0:04:50but it wasn't just the music that annoyed.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54The song's message of tolerance also grated for some of Gaga's fiercest fans.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57She was expecting it to turn into this really gay anthem and,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00unfortunately, they saw it as very much pandering to them
0:05:00 > 0:05:05and they felt it was maybe a little bit desperate on her part.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Lady Gaga releases this album for the gays
0:05:07 > 0:05:10and then we say she's pandering - like, how can you please us?
0:05:10 > 0:05:11Well, Madonna knows how.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Up next, the Bourne Ultimatum.
0:05:19 > 0:05:21When bride-to-be Heidi Withers
0:05:21 > 0:05:27set off for a peaceful weekend away in Devon with her prospective parents-in-law,
0:05:27 > 0:05:30little did she know what she was letting herself in for.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35Gardening guru Carolyn Bourne, step-mum of fiance Freddie,
0:05:35 > 0:05:39objected so strongly to the way she felt Heidi had behaved on the visit
0:05:39 > 0:05:42that she sent her an email attacking her manners.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46It seems the email Mrs Bourne sent from here
0:05:46 > 0:05:50to her daughter-in-law-to-be was meant to be private.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53But somehow it was forwarded on to other people,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57who then sent it on to more people, and then it went viral.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02When I read it I was so shocked
0:06:02 > 0:06:05at how somebody can be that blunt.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08If my mum ever wrote my boyfriend like that,
0:06:08 > 0:06:10I would cold slap that bitch.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12She sounds like Mrs Bucket on steroids,
0:06:12 > 0:06:15that's what I gleaned from that email.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21By her failure to keep up required appearances,
0:06:21 > 0:06:24newspapers readers around the world learned that Carolyn
0:06:24 > 0:06:28considered Heidi an ideal candidate for Ladette to Lady
0:06:28 > 0:06:31and suggested that she found herself a good finishing school.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- ARCHIVE:- Finishing school gives you that touch of savoire fair.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37Down...and up.
0:06:37 > 0:06:42So what was it that got the haughty horticulturalist so upset?
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Apparently she ate her dinner before everyone else.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56I mean, I do - you know, I mean, sometimes I don't even say grace.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01The gardening gloves were off as her mumzilla's manners guide continued.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05This demon of decorum had more advice.
0:07:12 > 0:07:16I think you should lead by example, you know,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18she could have handwritten her email, couldn't she?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21And sent it in a little notelet card with a picture of some ducks
0:07:21 > 0:07:24on the front or something and it would have been rather lovely.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Carolyn really couldn't contain herself, though,
0:07:28 > 0:07:30when it came to Freddie and Heidi's plans
0:07:30 > 0:07:34to hold their reception at Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43You can imagine her sitting there with her handbag going, "Mmm".
0:07:43 > 0:07:47In fact, as she's writing this, I like to imagine that she's dressed
0:07:47 > 0:07:50like Maggie Smith from Downton Abbey with the same sour look on her face.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54It's quite nice to know that your family are not the only family
0:07:54 > 0:07:56that are absolutely mental.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58It's nice for people to look on and be like, "Oh, yeah, OK,
0:07:58 > 0:08:00"my boyfriend's mum's a bit of a cow,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03"but at least she didn't send this email to me."
0:08:03 > 0:08:08Unsurprisingly, Carolyn and her husband were not seen at the wedding this November.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10But, then again, nor was Heidi.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Up next, not one, but two annoying things in 2011.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Kate Moss began the year by setting the catwalk alight
0:08:19 > 0:08:21with a smoking appearance.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29There is no question that smoking is vulgar, particularly on a catwalk.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Unfortunately, I'm not sure how long Kate can go
0:08:32 > 0:08:34between one cigarette and the next.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Here she is, for whatever reason, an icon of our times.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41She absolutely knows that.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Why she felt the need to force that on to the catwalk
0:08:45 > 0:08:48when she knew the way that that would appear to teenagers as,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50"Well, it's cool, cos Kate Moss does it,"
0:08:50 > 0:08:54and I know that's a really boring and old argument,
0:08:54 > 0:08:57but, the fact of the matter is, it is true.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01But smoking wasn't the only annoying thing that Kate did this year.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05In July she married hubby Jamie Hince with a guest list
0:09:05 > 0:09:08of A-list movers and shakers intent on causing chaos in the Cotswolds.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14It was a very eclectic group, including two celebrity racists -
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Brown and Galliano were there.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20If you're going to invite Galliano and James Brown to your wedding,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22you probably should cross off Samuel L Jackson,
0:09:22 > 0:09:23and Woody Allen as well.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26I think the priest would have probably been trying to get
0:09:26 > 0:09:29through the ceremony as quick as possible.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32"I now pronounce you man and wife, off you go".
0:09:32 > 0:09:36The residents of Little Faringdon were absolutely furious
0:09:36 > 0:09:39with Kate Moss for basically shutting down the village
0:09:39 > 0:09:42so she could stage her own mini festival.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Three days for a wedding.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48Most weddings I know you get to the evening, a couple of drinks,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51a fight, then we go home. Three days!
0:09:54 > 0:09:58She made it completely clear that this was a private event.
0:09:58 > 0:10:02However, she expected all the residents nearby to put up
0:10:02 > 0:10:06with receiving absolutely no access to their village.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09How they meant to get to the local pub?
0:10:09 > 0:10:12How's the mobile library meant to go around while she's there lording it up?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15The police spent thousands and thousands of pounds
0:10:15 > 0:10:18and it was completely and utterly unacceptable.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Kate Moss is used to having police visit her. This time they were on her side.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29Well, through the village there's been lots of vehicles,
0:10:29 > 0:10:31blacked out windows, containing, well...
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- CHEERING - ..we know not who.
0:10:33 > 0:10:39Shutting down a whole village does not make you the lady of the manor.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Maybe she was doing it to be different.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Maybe she was doing it to be a little shocking,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49but it was so annoying.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Now for a fallen fashionista.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Eccentric enfant terrible John Galliano
0:10:59 > 0:11:02has been causing waves on the catwalk for years.
0:11:02 > 0:11:07# Fashion, turn to the left Fashion, turn to the right... #
0:11:07 > 0:11:11But 2011 saw the oddball outfitter go completely off the rails,
0:11:11 > 0:11:14as admiration turned to outrage.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17On Thursday evening, John Galliano was arrested at this bar
0:11:17 > 0:11:19for the suspected verbal abuse of a female customer.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22He vehemently denies the use of anti-semitic language.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Are you blond with blue eyes?
0:11:24 > 0:11:28No, but I love Hitler and people like you would be dead today.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30WOMAN LAUGHS
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- Your mother's... Your forefathers would be- BLEEP- dead.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36WOMAN: Oh, my God!
0:11:36 > 0:11:38But when it emerged that Galliano
0:11:38 > 0:11:42had been responsible for two more racist rants at the same bar,
0:11:42 > 0:11:46employers Christian Dior sacked the disgraced designer.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49John Galliano was really the go-to guy in fashion.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52This is a man who had people like Kate Moss, Natalie Portman,
0:11:52 > 0:11:56Madonna on his speed dial.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59You couldn't think of a name in fashion any more prestigious
0:11:59 > 0:12:01or famous than he.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07People in the fashion industry are always a bit odd and a bit
0:12:07 > 0:12:13quirky but quirkiness does not make racist outbursts acceptable.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20Here's a man who is part of a group of people who have been
0:12:20 > 0:12:24stereotyped in the past - he's a gay man and proud of it -
0:12:24 > 0:12:29but it makes it even more unpalatable that he's pointing at a minority
0:12:29 > 0:12:31and showing how racist he was.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35I'd love for John to go back in time to Hitler where Hitler was
0:12:35 > 0:12:37throwing all these parties for gay people
0:12:37 > 0:12:40and showing how much he appreciated them.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oh, no, he wasn't, he was putting them in ovens as well.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46It's more just very sad because the thing is,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48he is genuinely huge talent.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52And you can be the most brilliant, the most, you know, coolest person
0:12:52 > 0:12:55in fashion, but that kind of behaviour has to be held accountable.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Galliano faced trial in a Paris court with his defence team
0:12:59 > 0:13:03denying he was racist and blaming his outbursts on alcohol
0:13:03 > 0:13:04and prescription drugs.
0:13:04 > 0:13:08# Now the drugs don't work They just make you worse... #
0:13:08 > 0:13:12"I'm having trouble sleeping cos I'm working in Australia, doctor."
0:13:12 > 0:13:14"I recommend some Zopiclone sleeping tablets."
0:13:14 > 0:13:15"Any side effects?"
0:13:15 > 0:13:19"Yes, you will shout, "Jew, Jew, dirty Jew," every time you wake up."
0:13:19 > 0:13:21"I might just stick to the Nytol."
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Causing yet another scene at 13 is a celebrity racking up
0:13:28 > 0:13:32a fifth appearance on the most annoying list.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34# Baby, you're a firework... #
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Hold on to your valuables - it's Lindsay Lohan!
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Lindsay's attention-seeking antics have been virtually unstoppable
0:13:42 > 0:13:45this year, and back in February she added something new
0:13:45 > 0:13:47to her long list of bad girl behaviour...
0:13:47 > 0:13:49jewellery thief!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52This is someone who could potentially make millions
0:13:52 > 0:13:54and millions and millions of pounds if she wanted to,
0:13:54 > 0:13:59and the fact that she just wants to nick things is just appalling.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- When regular people take things, it's called stealing.- Yes.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06When a celebrity steals something, it's called loaning and borrowing.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Or gifting!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09It's tough in Hollywood. People don't get this.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13They don't realise how hard film stars have it and you know what?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Sometimes you just need a little bit of extra jewellery,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18and if people aren't just going to give it to you,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21what are you supposed to do? Pay for it yourself?!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Charged with theft and probation violations,
0:14:23 > 0:14:26the judge sentenced her to 120 days' house arrest,
0:14:26 > 0:14:29but rapper Pitbull sentenced her to life
0:14:29 > 0:14:32in his international hit song Give Me Everything.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35RAPS: And I got her locked up like Lindsay Lohan.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38This girl's actually suing the rapper Pitbull
0:14:38 > 0:14:41because he mentions her in his music video.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44HE RAPS: And I got her locked up like Lindsay Lohan.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Well, she WAS locked up. It's a fact - rappers can rap about whatever they want,
0:14:48 > 0:14:53but they can particularly rap about something that actually happened.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58I think the girl should be so lucky to have any mention at all
0:14:58 > 0:14:59in the world right now.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02What is she doing for society besides serving as an example
0:15:02 > 0:15:04of what not to be when you grow up?
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Struggling with her life and her make-up, Lohan was back in court
0:15:10 > 0:15:13in November for yet again failing to complete her community service.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- JUDGE: Miss Lohan?- I'm sorry.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20After a recent 1 million payday for a full frontal Playboy shoot, where next for Lindsay?
0:15:20 > 0:15:22They must be pushing for a reality show.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24That's actually the one reality show
0:15:24 > 0:15:29I'd be like, "Yes, that deserves to be made." I mean, we should be following her around.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34Even if just as for an example to kids for how not to live their lives.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36# It's a hard-knock life! #
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Slipping down the list and slipping up this year,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Katie Price has had an even more annoying 2011,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46but the problem is she just won't go away.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49She's an animal, that one, she really is.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55The poor guy, she's just like this big python waiting
0:15:55 > 0:15:57to, like, get him and digest him.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Oh, I haven't got a particular type.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Poor Peter Andre.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02You know, I'm in no rush to get married.
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Poor Alex.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Why do I want to talk about exes?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08She dumps her latest, Leandro,
0:16:08 > 0:16:13by translator, who says to him, "You're not giving her enough sex".
0:16:13 > 0:16:15That's not a nice person.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18She'll get halfway through something and go,
0:16:18 > 0:16:20"Oh, that's not working," and walk away.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23That's fine if it's a book or a TV show. When it's a person...
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Ohhhh.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26And what gets me the most -
0:16:26 > 0:16:30she hits them where it hurts and blasts them
0:16:30 > 0:16:31all over the media
0:16:31 > 0:16:34saying that they couldn't keep up with her in bed.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37A dog with two dicks couldn't keep up with you in bed, pet.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Ever since her split from Peter Andre,
0:16:40 > 0:16:43Katie may have lost the support of the general public,
0:16:43 > 0:16:47but continues to make millions from her ample assets.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50And, touch wood, everything I do does work.
0:16:52 > 0:16:57So what does a girl who's already bared it all do for a bit more exposure?
0:16:57 > 0:17:01Launch her own magazine of course, about her favourite subject.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Herself.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05# You're so vain... #
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Such a girly-girly magazine, it's all fun, uplifting.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13I was just so pleased with it, they've done such a good job as well.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Katie Price has got a magazine. Doesn't mean anyone will read it.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18It's got, like, problem pages,
0:17:18 > 0:17:20it's got my views on people on the red carpet.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Not about the individual person, just about their outfit.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27My favourite nail varnishes, my tattoos,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29just bits that people don't know about me.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32When Katie Price announced she was bringing out her own magazine,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35it was a very dark day at Glamour Magazine,
0:17:35 > 0:17:36we were quaking in our boots.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39It's got cooking tips, and how to make what I make.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I don't care how Katie Price boils her frozen peas or makes them,
0:17:42 > 0:17:48but the walking hypocrisy is that she has made millions
0:17:48 > 0:17:53from magazines like OK!, Hello!, posing, telling them everything
0:17:53 > 0:17:57and then she even shafts them by bringing out her own magazine.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01It's like she can't have a lasting relationship with anyone.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Next up, it's Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09BOTH: Yo, yo, yo, what's up?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- I'm John.- I'm Edward. BOTH: And together we are Jedward!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Yo, VIP. Let's kick it!
0:18:16 > 0:18:18# Pressure! #
0:18:18 > 0:18:21The very existence of Jedward is annoying.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26They've got half a brain each and neither of those halves is working.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29The thing we love about hotel rooms is no matter how dirty you make it,
0:18:29 > 0:18:31you don't have to clean it up as you get the hotel cleaners
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- to clean your room. - And they're like, "Waa-ah!".
0:18:34 > 0:18:35They're so pale,
0:18:35 > 0:18:39they're like veal cutlets that haven't been out into the sun.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42First of all, we should apologise to music lovers everywhere.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46When we met Jedward last year, we planted a dangerous thought
0:18:46 > 0:18:47in their otherwise empty heads.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Fortunately, the UK had other plans,
0:18:56 > 0:18:59but Ireland, for what happened next, we are truly sorry.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00We are Jedward!
0:19:00 > 0:19:05And we're twins, OK, and we're so excited about making the final.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11It nearly caused me to have a seizure.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14They were moving around so fast mumbling these strange words.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17It was like they were having a fit themselves.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20They were the most annoying thing on the entire Eurovision,
0:19:20 > 0:19:22which is saying a hell of a lot.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28The boys finished in a fairly respectable eighth place
0:19:28 > 0:19:31but their annoying year was only just getting started.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35BOTH: Aaaagh!
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Party!
0:19:38 > 0:19:41# My bad behaviour My bad behaviour
0:19:41 > 0:19:44# Told you I was trouble with my bad behaviour... #
0:19:44 > 0:19:48Jedward's next move in 2011 was an impressive display
0:19:48 > 0:19:50of just how irritating they really can be.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53# Now tell me if I'm bad... #
0:19:53 > 0:19:57Placed in a Big Brother house crammed full of annoying celebrities,
0:19:57 > 0:20:00they had no problem putting their rivals in the shade.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02They were incredibly annoying.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04It was like two six-year-old children.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06In fact, two-year-olds at times.
0:20:06 > 0:20:11I think I was pretty close to putting both their heads down the toilet at one stage.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14One thing you didn't see is me having them pinned up against a wall
0:20:14 > 0:20:17in a strangulation attempt, which was very fun, I might add.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21It wasn't life-threatening, but, boy, it could just have been...
0:20:21 > 0:20:22# My bad behaviour... #
0:20:22 > 0:20:26They were extremely irritating in Big Brother, yet finished third.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Could it be that the really annoying thing about Jedward this year
0:20:29 > 0:20:32is that secretly we're all becoming Jedheads?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35He's wearing his clothes because he's on TV
0:20:35 > 0:20:39and he doesn't want to, like, show off his muscles.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I think secretly inside I'm a bit of a Jedward fan.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45I...um...I like how tight their trousers are.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48They are the only decent thing
0:20:48 > 0:20:51Louis Walsh has ever done and I think they're brilliant.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Absolutely brilliant. Team Jedward.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Jed to the E to the D to the ward. - BOTH: Planet Jedward!
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Their hits might have dried up,
0:20:58 > 0:21:03but their 15 minutes of fame shows no sign of ending.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Rather annoyingly, it seems as though we're stuck with them.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Jedward are not going to change. They're never going to grow up. It is their brand.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Yes, they're annoying to some people,
0:21:12 > 0:21:16but, my God, without people like that, we'd have a pretty boring world, wouldn't we?
0:21:21 > 0:21:25At ten, MTV's shock reality show from Newcastle.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Serving a bevy of booze, birds and bonking, it's Geordie Shore.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32After The Only Way is Essex, I thought, "Where do we go next?"
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Newcastle. Let's find some metrosexual guys
0:21:35 > 0:21:39and girls with their boobs hanging out. Should be easy enough.
0:21:40 > 0:21:45The Geordie Shore cast exist on booze and sex, one-night stands...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47We going to get four birds round, wine and dine them,
0:21:47 > 0:21:49make them feel good and bang 'em.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I love the fact there was no tact or subtlety to it.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54On the first night, there was already sex and a fight.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I think that's the sign of any good night out.
0:21:56 > 0:22:01# Oh, watching people get lairy... #
0:22:01 > 0:22:03I don't think they have any limits.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05I think they're vile, they're disgusting.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07This is too much.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I just want to go out, get them pissed, and bang them.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13They say things that you would never say. They do things you would never do.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15And it's vulgar.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18And I love that. I sit there and I'm addicted.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21I can sit and watch that programme back-to-back-to-back...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24I'll need a shower afterwards.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Viewers and the national press were outraged by the gang's behaviour,
0:22:28 > 0:22:32accusing it of taking reality TV to new lows.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35My favourite girl in Geordie Shore has got to be Vicky.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38I reckon Vicky's going to kick off without a doubt.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Vicky. "Don't push us, Jay."
0:22:40 > 0:22:43I'm still raging about them bringing back them lasses
0:22:43 > 0:22:46and now he feels the need to mug us off again.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Any girl that spits in her man's face is a girl I want to be rolling with.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57I'm a bit embarrassed that I managed
0:22:57 > 0:22:59to spit in Jason's face.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01But he did piss us off.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04You did it first, Jay! You did it first.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06'I was working in a call centre.'
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I was shite at it.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11I was on me last warning, absolutely hated it.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13It was an opportunity to do something
0:23:13 > 0:23:17that not many people will ever, ever get the chance to experience -
0:23:17 > 0:23:19getting paid to get pissed.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Oh, no.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35I just loved the mad, swearing, Geordie patter.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42As a Scotsman, I could almost understand most of it as well.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Tashing on.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Tashing on.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I've no idea.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Ejaculating on someone's top lip.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55Get a tash on - it means to get off with someone and snog them.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Tashing on, I'm going to take full credit for.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01It was just necking on, having a kiss.
0:24:03 > 0:24:04Mortal.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Um...
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Dead? That's dead.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Must mean hammered or pissed or drunk.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- GEORDIE ACCENT:- Absolutely mortal, man. It means getting drunk.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Has a girl ever performed a slut drop on me?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21That's a first. I've never heard of that term.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23What's a slut drop?
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Just by hearing that, I know exactly what it is. A slut that has dropped.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- Aw, show a slut drop.- Slut drop is getting so famous right now.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32It's a busy, busy bar on a Saturday night,
0:24:32 > 0:24:36and the only way you're going to let that lad across the room know that you're into him
0:24:36 > 0:24:39is by...doing a slut drop.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43He starts, like, grinding behind on you, like, he's feeling you,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45he's enjoying it and then all of a sudden - boom! Slut drop.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47That's it, you've pulled.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51And then after that, he is all over you like a rash.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I'm honestly not surprised that we're in your top 50 Most Annoying.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59At the end of the day, we're a bunch of over-tanned, talentless twats.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02At nine, it's the pap with the carefully-crafted pecs,
0:25:02 > 0:25:05who can only be described as...
0:25:05 > 0:25:06# So macho... #
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I've never given a shit what people think.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11# So macho... #
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Which is just as well.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16With a reputation as the most prolific paparazzi in the world,
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Darryn Lions made an expose of himself
0:25:18 > 0:25:21when he entered the celebrity Big Brother house this year.
0:25:21 > 0:25:22I was quite surprised
0:25:22 > 0:25:25Darryn Lyons entered Celebrity Big Brother, because it's normally
0:25:25 > 0:25:29full of the worst kind of attention-seekers you've ever seen in your life.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Just to look at Darryn, he doesn't want the attention.
0:25:32 > 0:25:33He keeps himself to himself.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38He dresses normally, he's got a normal haircut. I couldn't understand it at all.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I'm not bothered about being watched 24 hours a day.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I've got nothing to hide. I am who I am. You love me or hate me.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46It's one tick off the bucket list that not many people
0:25:46 > 0:25:49and not many celebrities on the planet will get to do.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53But it was his much talked about bizarre new body that sent Britain bonkers.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56I think he's so cute!
0:25:56 > 0:25:59He looks like a cute little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04And the press went to town on Darryn's shiny turtle tummy.
0:26:04 > 0:26:09Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! I loved it. It was a fantastic headline.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Darryn's washboard stomach is a result of body contour surgery -
0:26:16 > 0:26:19a fat-hoovering procedure costing him over ten grand.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25What a body. I mean, wow, what a body.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27It looks like a child's drawing.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30It's really strange.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34I don't think there's any man with a body like mine and Darryn's
0:26:34 > 0:26:37who watched that and went, "Wow, life-changer."
0:26:37 > 0:26:41It's been a life-changing thing and, at the end of the day, I'm proud as punch.
0:26:41 > 0:26:47With the amount of girls stopping me in the streets saying, "Show us your abs," it's been a bit of a winner.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49'Darryn is working it.'
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Not just proud of showing off his body, Darryn also took delight
0:26:52 > 0:26:57in revealing he's had more than just a few notches on his bedpost.
0:26:57 > 0:27:03'Darryn is regaling the housemates with another tale from his glory days.'
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- You had 12 women in bed with you? - It was a good night.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Wow, I thought there was other guys involved. I'm... 12 in a bed?
0:27:11 > 0:27:16It was those crazy days when I was... Well, I was a lot older than you, actually.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Old enough to know better, you man slag.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23# Sexy boy... #
0:27:23 > 0:27:28I think Darryn Lyons' lady-man ability is all in the mohican.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32It's like his mojo, know what I mean? What he does is, like an avatar,
0:27:32 > 0:27:35he gets the end of his hair and attaches it to the female's hair
0:27:35 > 0:27:39and then they make a love connection and that's how they mate.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42I was quite surprised to hear that Darryn Lyons is a bit of a ladies' man -
0:27:42 > 0:27:45then I found out it was actually Darryn who'd said that.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49So what has Lyons the Lothario given us in 2011?
0:27:49 > 0:27:52It's all pink dressing gowns,
0:27:52 > 0:27:55crazy hair and chiselled torsos.
0:27:55 > 0:28:00And if that's what I've brought to the celebrity world as the most annoying celebrity in 2011,
0:28:00 > 0:28:02well, giddy up.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Riding high in our chart this year, and not for her music,
0:28:06 > 0:28:08it's the queen mother of pop, Madonna.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13Never shy of getting what she wants, when Madonna attempts to
0:28:13 > 0:28:16give us more than three minutes of pop, it's always a worry.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Madonna... Eugh.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23What more can you say?
0:28:23 > 0:28:27Last year, she was playing fashion designer with daughter Lourdes,
0:28:27 > 0:28:29but this year, Madonna has been making a movie.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32# We're making a movie Isn't it groovy?
0:28:32 > 0:28:34# Welcome to my house. #
0:28:34 > 0:28:36Writing and directing W./E. -
0:28:36 > 0:28:39a modern biopic about Edward and Mrs Simpson - in London this year,
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Madonna had hoped looking rough behind a camera
0:28:42 > 0:28:45would give her movie the credibility she so desperately craved.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49The whole process has been extremely...um...
0:28:49 > 0:28:53I don't know, inspiring, exhausting. I've never worked so hard in my life.
0:28:53 > 0:28:58But all that hard work wasn't enough to impress the critics.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01So whilst trying to woo the public and the press
0:29:01 > 0:29:03into seeing her dodgy directorial debut,
0:29:03 > 0:29:08she spectacularly managed to annoy everyone when a nice man offered her a flower.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14This flower for you. You're my princess, thank you so much. I love you.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18On receiving the floral gift, Madge promptly discarded it
0:29:18 > 0:29:21and was overheard telling the person next to her...
0:29:23 > 0:29:25How rude!
0:29:25 > 0:29:27# I beg your pardon... #
0:29:27 > 0:29:29The guy is lucky
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Madonna didn't take the hydrangea and slap him across the face.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35Don't give me some broken-down 4 flower, give me a bouquet.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38- Madonna, where's the flowers? - Oh, my assistant took them.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40'I didn't know she loathed them.'
0:29:40 > 0:29:41Maybe that was my mistake
0:29:41 > 0:29:44not to read beforehand that she loathed them.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46I just don't see it myself.
0:29:46 > 0:29:48I mean, what's a hydrangea ever done to anyone?
0:29:48 > 0:29:53It's fairly inoffensive. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned manners, Madonna?
0:29:53 > 0:29:57As a human, I was upset because I put all my love into the gift
0:29:57 > 0:30:00and she put it on the floor and didn't care about it.
0:30:00 > 0:30:01She's a big star.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05She should be grateful for any attention she receives.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07This is a good lesson for Madonna.
0:30:07 > 0:30:09I think it was all set up
0:30:09 > 0:30:12just to keep people from talking about the terrible, terrible movie.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15Of course, W./E. stands for Wallis and Edward,
0:30:15 > 0:30:19but I think for most of us it stands for, "Whatever, Madonna."
0:30:20 > 0:30:23At number seven, it's Roo-KnowWho.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30The really annoying thing about Wayne is that he's a pro-footballer.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33He makes shedloads of money.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35He is the idol of millions
0:30:35 > 0:30:39and he's got no idea about how lucky he is.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42It's been yet another 12 months of annoying antics for our Wayne.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Last year, it might have been all about prostitutes and contract disputes,
0:30:46 > 0:30:48this year, though, it's a case of...
0:30:48 > 0:30:52# Hair we go, hair we go, hair we go. #
0:30:52 > 0:30:54Wayne Rooney's hair transplant.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57If you've got that much money at your disposal,
0:30:57 > 0:31:00I would have gone, "There's a million, find Michael Bolton, do him..."
0:31:00 > 0:31:05# Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? #
0:31:05 > 0:31:08Put his head on your head. Amazing head of hair.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Timeless as well.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14But a hair transplant hardly seems the stuff of a no-nonsense footballer
0:31:14 > 0:31:17in his mid-20s, so are we being a bit vain, Rooney?
0:31:17 > 0:31:20It's not like he's doing it to pick up women. He's Wayne Rooney.
0:31:20 > 0:31:22He'll buy a girl if he wants one.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25He'll buy a granny, you know what he's like. It doesn't matter.
0:31:25 > 0:31:27Just go to the OAP shop, that's like Toys R Us for him.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31Wayne Rooney sold out the bald brothers, but he's got more swagger on the pitch.
0:31:31 > 0:31:35He's doing a lot better. It's given him a bit of a spring in his step.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39With the new thatch giving Wayne a Samson-like strut,
0:31:39 > 0:31:44summer saw him take the missus for a dirty weekend, but being annoying celebrity glampers,
0:31:44 > 0:31:48their trip to Glastonbury wasn't the typical festival experience.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51He spent ten grand on a campervan. It's only a third
0:31:51 > 0:31:52of what he spent on his hair,
0:31:52 > 0:31:54so I suppose it's a wise investment for him.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56I like the fact he needed security
0:31:56 > 0:32:00to take him to the toilet as well. I don't know if that was to protect him
0:32:00 > 0:32:03or just that he still needs someone to wipe his backside at his age.
0:32:05 > 0:32:09At number six, it's Britain's most celebrated bottom.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15April 29th, 2011. The nation gathered around the television
0:32:15 > 0:32:19to see our future king and queen tie the knot.
0:32:19 > 0:32:23Up until then, all the talk had been about Kate's dress. Then this happened.
0:32:23 > 0:32:26# I see you, baby
0:32:26 > 0:32:28# Shaking that ass... #
0:32:28 > 0:32:31I was watching the Royal Wedding and there was an audible gasp
0:32:31 > 0:32:35when Pippa's rear made its first appearance.
0:32:35 > 0:32:39She wore a dress that was clearly designed
0:32:39 > 0:32:41to maximise her ass.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44And that was our introduction to poor old Pippa Middleton,
0:32:44 > 0:32:50who suddenly found she'd become the owner of the most famous and annoying bum of the year.
0:32:50 > 0:32:53Pippa's bum just took over the nation.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56As soon as she stepped out of that car and shook her booty,
0:32:56 > 0:32:58that was it, we were all going crazy.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00There was a lot of hype that day.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02Everything got blown out of proportion.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04If you're a lady and marrying the heir to the throne,
0:33:04 > 0:33:07this must be one of your worst nightmares.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10Your sister and her arse are the most famous thing of the day.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13In fact, such was the instant fame of Pippa and her bum
0:33:13 > 0:33:16that by the end of the day,
0:33:16 > 0:33:19her royal hotness had many a loyal subject.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21As soon as Pippa Middleton stepped out of the Rolls-Royce
0:33:21 > 0:33:25at Westminster Abbey, my friends and I were all united in the fact
0:33:25 > 0:33:27that, yeah, she was pretty stunning.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30Just as a joke, I started a Facebook page with the title
0:33:30 > 0:33:33Pippa Middleton Arse Appreciation Society.
0:33:33 > 0:33:37Every time I refreshed the page we were getting ten more people,
0:33:37 > 0:33:3920 more people, 30 more people.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43I think it had about 40,000 likes by the end of the first day,
0:33:43 > 0:33:45and it just went crazy.
0:33:45 > 0:33:49It wasn't just frisky Facebookers who went potty for Pippa.
0:33:49 > 0:33:55After the wedding, newspapers and magazines grabbed hold of her bottom and wouldn't let go.
0:33:55 > 0:34:00I really felt sorry for her, because she's getting papped all the time, and she's so not ready for it.
0:34:00 > 0:34:05The fact that she can walk out in a dodgy-looking dress and get on the front page
0:34:05 > 0:34:08of five national newspapers is over the top to me.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12We know more about her bum than we do about her.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15It's more of a celebrity entity than the rest of her.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19And it's not just the UK that seems to have developed an annoying obsession
0:34:19 > 0:34:21with Britain's best-known bum.
0:34:21 > 0:34:26P-Middy has also been getting plenty of interest from our friends across the pond.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Americans clearly have a bum fixation.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32Now apparently Pippa's, as opposed to Kim Kardashian or J-Lo's,
0:34:32 > 0:34:36is the number one most-requested bum in the plastic surgeon's office.
0:34:36 > 0:34:41Having seen Pippa, they come in, they want the smaller,
0:34:41 > 0:34:44more rounded, tight, fit buttocks,
0:34:44 > 0:34:48and it stimulated a lot of interest around the world.
0:34:48 > 0:34:53Back on home turf, perhaps all this irritating fuss over Pippa and her bum is finally starting to die down.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56Faced with the conundrum of who should win Rear of the Year UK,
0:34:56 > 0:35:02voters handed the prize to an old favourite, offering one from the bottom and two from the top.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05I can't understand why Carol Vorderman beat Pippa Middleton
0:35:05 > 0:35:06to Rear of the Year this year,
0:35:06 > 0:35:10because I thought that the campaign we put together was strong enough.
0:35:10 > 0:35:11But maybe next year.
0:35:13 > 0:35:18Rising high on our list in more ways than one this year is Charlie Sheen.
0:35:22 > 0:35:27Hollywood is no stranger to the celebrity meltdown,
0:35:27 > 0:35:32but this year Two And A Half Men star Charlie Sheen had one to beat them all.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38Charlie Sheen is just a magnified example of the mad person
0:35:38 > 0:35:40you meet on the bus you don't sit beside,
0:35:40 > 0:35:41except he's a Hollywood star.
0:35:41 > 0:35:45Charlie! Charlie! What do you think of all this?
0:35:45 > 0:35:48'He is what celebrity is supposed to be.'
0:35:48 > 0:35:50It's nothing less than huge.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55He's entertaining and he just keeps us watching.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03This year, the wild antics of the playboy, and his not one, but two Playgirl goddesses
0:36:03 > 0:36:07forced production on his hit sitcom Two And A Half Men to grind to a halt.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11With time on his hands, Sheen turned to Twitter to explain himself,
0:36:11 > 0:36:12and in just over 24 hours
0:36:12 > 0:36:17had over one million followers not understanding a single word.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19I don't know, any suggestions?
0:36:19 > 0:36:20'He was on every website,'
0:36:20 > 0:36:23on every TV show. He was talking to everybody,
0:36:23 > 0:36:26doing crazy things every single day. It got to the point
0:36:26 > 0:36:30where, actually, viewers and readers became a little bit bored of him.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32For his next trick, Charlie decided the time was right
0:36:32 > 0:36:37to insult the man who was paying him a cool 2 million an episode to make people laugh.
0:36:37 > 0:36:42But sitcom boss, Chuck Lorre, delivered the ultimatum punchline and gave him the sack.
0:36:42 > 0:36:47To criticise the people that were paying him so publicly was remarkable
0:36:47 > 0:36:52and, to be honest, I think I was a bit jealous, because we've all wanted to do that.
0:36:52 > 0:36:57We've all wanted to just stand drunk and shout at the people that pay our wages.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06Bouncing back from the sack, Charlie's new mantra may have been "winning",
0:37:06 > 0:37:09but he was clearly losing the plot.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11No-one knew exactly what he was winning,
0:37:11 > 0:37:16but, when he announced a tour of his one-man show, The Torpedo Of Truth,
0:37:16 > 0:37:17thousands turned up to find out.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Charlie! It's for you, buddy!
0:37:21 > 0:37:24I'm gonna name my baby "Charlie"!
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Whoo! Hey!
0:37:26 > 0:37:31Anybody else would listen, you know. It's not how this thing works.
0:37:31 > 0:37:32AUDIENCE SHOUTING
0:37:32 > 0:37:33Anyway...
0:37:33 > 0:37:35AUDIENCE JEERING
0:37:35 > 0:37:41The people who went and saw him were pissed when there was nothing to watch.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44You didn't know that there was no show.
0:37:44 > 0:37:48What talent does he have? He was written for his entire life.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51The way I see it, Charlie owes me 109 bucks.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54- Why's that?- Because it was kind of a waste of time.
0:37:54 > 0:37:59He's not winning. I lost by going to this. I lost. I'm losing.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Charlie Sheen was asked if he was bipolar.
0:38:03 > 0:38:08His answer was to say, "I'm bi-winning."
0:38:08 > 0:38:10"I win here, I win there, I win everywhere"
0:38:10 > 0:38:13I think he has come out of this a winner.
0:38:13 > 0:38:18Charlie's had the last laugh. After suing the makers of Two And A Half Men for mental anguish,
0:38:18 > 0:38:22he's come away with a settlement of 125 million.
0:38:24 > 0:38:28Charlie Sheen, I am sure, will be back on our TV screens very, very soon
0:38:28 > 0:38:34and he could even become one of the highest-paid members of Hollywood yet again.
0:38:34 > 0:38:39Up next, an appearance from another old friend here on this show.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44For Ashley Cole, 2011 has been an annoying year of guns, girls
0:38:44 > 0:38:48and an unlikely reconciliation in the summer with the ex.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53Cheryl Cole's had a pretty tough time.
0:38:53 > 0:38:58She was very publicly humiliated, being kicked off the X Factor in the USA.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00The thing that she needs is a bit of stability.
0:39:00 > 0:39:06Yes, Ashley Cole's been a rat but, if you're going to offer her love and friendship, so be it.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09But, of course, Ashley being Ashley, it wasn't to last.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12The main reason so many of us hate Ashley Cole
0:39:12 > 0:39:14is because of what he's done to our beloved Cheryl
0:39:14 > 0:39:19and none of us wanted her to take Ashley back and she did, only to be let down by the guy again.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22What is the matter with him? Cheryl Cole for God's sake,
0:39:22 > 0:39:24giving you a fifth, sixth, seventh chance
0:39:24 > 0:39:28and you do daft stuff with models from nightclubs. What's the matter with you?
0:39:31 > 0:39:35I can't understand him! I can't get me head round him.
0:39:35 > 0:39:39I'm annoyed. I'm furious with...
0:39:39 > 0:39:41I'm just shaking with rage.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44Cheryl Cole, she's hot.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46You're punching well above your weight
0:39:46 > 0:39:48and you still can't treat her right.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52Just what on Earth goes through your head?
0:39:52 > 0:39:55You cheated on one of the most beautiful women in the world
0:39:55 > 0:39:59with a set of absolute skanks, who went and then made money off it.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01I hope you feel proud of yourself.
0:40:01 > 0:40:06But it wasn't only Ashley's love life where a bit of banging landed him in trouble.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10Back in February, he got it very, very wrong
0:40:10 > 0:40:13when he was told he needed to practise his shooting.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Ashley Cole was reportedly holding the rifle
0:40:15 > 0:40:18when he accidentally fired it.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21He shot someone who was standing 5ft away.
0:40:24 > 0:40:28Ashley Cole took the most powerful air gun you can buy without a licence into training.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32And he's just wandering around in the changing rooms
0:40:32 > 0:40:38and shoots the 18-year-old work-experience guy, Tom Cowan.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40That's surely proof the guy's not all there at all.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Who would do that?
0:40:42 > 0:40:46Apparently, sources say he was larking around, but what kind of lark
0:40:46 > 0:40:49involves shooting the work experience with an air gun?
0:40:49 > 0:40:54(TV REPORTER) Chelsea say they are dealing with the matter internally.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57It's thought he'll be fined a quarter of a million by the club.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Though that's just two weeks' salary for the player.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Imagine you go to work and accidentally shoot Sonia from accounts.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07You know that's game over, career finished, probably a bit of time inside.
0:41:07 > 0:41:08Not Ashley Cole, though.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12I think what it was is that he went into football training
0:41:12 > 0:41:15thinking, "I want a change of career, I'm gonna try athletics."
0:41:15 > 0:41:18"In fact, I don't want to run, I want to be the guy who starts the race". Pow!
0:41:22 > 0:41:27Whispering in at number three, it's the controversial subject of...
0:41:27 > 0:41:28Sh.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30..super-injunctions
0:41:30 > 0:41:34and the growing list of celebrities that are taking them out like...
0:41:34 > 0:41:35Sh.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37I think you get the idea.
0:41:37 > 0:41:38# It's oh so quiet. #
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Super-injunctions are the new evil.
0:41:42 > 0:41:44It should be the same for everybody -
0:41:44 > 0:41:48if you want to play away and you're found out, you take the consequences.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55The annoying thing about it is it proves that,
0:41:55 > 0:41:58if you have a lot of money, you can try to protect your personal life.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02If you don't have a lot of money, then it's fair game for newspapers.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04Celebrities had it so easy
0:42:04 > 0:42:07when they could simply pay huge sums of money to keep details
0:42:07 > 0:42:11of their private lives safely locked away inside the British legal system.
0:42:11 > 0:42:15Pop star Howard Donald, journalist Andrew Marr,
0:42:15 > 0:42:18and presenter Jeremy Clarkson, have all been involved
0:42:18 > 0:42:21in gagging girls with their big super-injunctions.
0:42:22 > 0:42:26However, the most annoying case of super-injunctivitis this year
0:42:26 > 0:42:31involved hotty Imogen Thomas and a player who can only be identified as "CTB".
0:42:31 > 0:42:33But who is he?
0:42:35 > 0:42:37CTB. Who is he?
0:42:37 > 0:42:40Honestly, I really have no idea. Do you know?
0:42:40 > 0:42:43If you don't know who CTB is,
0:42:43 > 0:42:45er, he's the one that slept with Imogen Thomas.
0:42:45 > 0:42:51He's a Premiership footballer and his name rhymes with "Brian".
0:42:53 > 0:42:56It was the most expensive worst-kept secret
0:42:56 > 0:42:59since the revelation that footballers like to sleep around.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03We all knew who it was. We knew who it was for ages.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09If I slept with Imogen Thomas, I would want the world to know.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11I would be selling my selling my story!
0:43:11 > 0:43:14I'd sell them pictures going, "Seriously, it actually happened!"
0:43:17 > 0:43:23Eventually, the super-injunction was exposed, not by the courts but by 75,000 Twitter users.
0:43:30 > 0:43:34People from the streets, or on social media networks said,
0:43:34 > 0:43:37"You know what, we can say what we want and we've got that power now."
0:43:39 > 0:43:44CTB tried to protect his hefty investment by threatening to sue the Twitter community.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47He had the audacity to suggest that 75,000 Twitter users
0:43:47 > 0:43:52might end up in court, so that he could protect a story, which, essentially, everybody knew about.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55That is just... It's unenforceable.
0:43:55 > 0:43:57You can't stop Twitter. You cannot stop Twitter.
0:43:57 > 0:44:00As far as I'm concerned, getting outed on Twitter
0:44:00 > 0:44:06was one of my highlights of 2011, because it's all he deserved.
0:44:10 > 0:44:15Although Imogen Thomas lost her legal battle, and is still gagged to this day,
0:44:15 > 0:44:19she has benefited from column inches and a revitalised career.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22To be honest with you, the only annoying thing is
0:44:22 > 0:44:25that Imogen Thomas is, you know, she's everywhere now.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28She did this article going, "I feel I've been objectified,
0:44:28 > 0:44:30"the way people are looking at me."
0:44:30 > 0:44:32"My flesh has now been consumed by the public."
0:44:32 > 0:44:35"I'm nothing but... I'm looked at as a slut and a sex object"
0:44:35 > 0:44:37And the next paper, she was in swimwear
0:44:37 > 0:44:39with a string up her arse
0:44:39 > 0:44:42and, honestly, a camel toe like the army of Saudi Arabia. It was unbelievable.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45"Stop objectifying me! Here's my vaj!"
0:44:45 > 0:44:49So, what's the way forward for super-injunctions in 2012?
0:44:49 > 0:44:52If you want to avoid the super-injunctions
0:44:52 > 0:44:55and all the embarrassment, how about you just don't do shit?
0:44:55 > 0:44:57How about that? How about you just behave?
0:44:57 > 0:45:00I'd love to be doing more gagging orders.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02I'd love to be up to my eyeballs in gagging orders.
0:45:02 > 0:45:07The truth is super-injunctions are really annoying
0:45:07 > 0:45:10and I really wish I could talk about them, but I can't!
0:45:10 > 0:45:14At number two, it's a real front-page shocker.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18It's been a ticking time bomb for some years,
0:45:18 > 0:45:21but in 2011 the scandal of phone hacking finally exploded.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25It's a story with so many candidates for most annoying.
0:45:25 > 0:45:29We could fill a programme trying to work out who was the worst,
0:45:29 > 0:45:35but there's no doubt which tabloid newspaper was singled out for the whole sorry mess.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38After 168 years of newspaper history, tonight,
0:45:38 > 0:45:42staff have been putting the finishing touches to the last edition of the News Of The World
0:45:42 > 0:45:45because of the latest phone-hacking allegations.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48News Of The World boss Rupert Murdoch made the shock decision
0:45:48 > 0:45:51to pull the plug on Britain's best selling newspaper
0:45:51 > 0:45:55when it was revealed in July that the tabloid's rife illegal phone hacking
0:45:55 > 0:45:57extended to victims of crime.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00It began with the devastating allegation that Milly Dowler's
0:46:00 > 0:46:06phone messages were listened to and deleted by a tabloid investigator.
0:46:06 > 0:46:11There's no defence for what News Of The World did. Not only was it illegal, but it was immoral.
0:46:11 > 0:46:15Just the audacity that they thought they could get away with this.
0:46:15 > 0:46:19They thought they could invade anyone's privacy, no matter the hell
0:46:19 > 0:46:23they were going through. I'm not sure where they are, but hopefully it's cold
0:46:23 > 0:46:26and they're locked up. Yeah. But they're not, of course.
0:46:30 > 0:46:34Latest figures suggest the News Of The World listened in on over 5,000 individuals.
0:46:34 > 0:46:39But it wasn't just their mucky phone hacking habits that annoyed us.
0:46:39 > 0:46:43It was also the cosy relationship the paper and its owners enjoyed
0:46:43 > 0:46:44with the powers that be.
0:46:44 > 0:46:50Which may explain why it's taken so long for the scandal to become public.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54REPORTER: Revealed today, the extraordinary links between two British institutions,
0:46:54 > 0:46:57Scotland Yard and News International.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01MPs described it as a revolving door between the two organisations,
0:47:01 > 0:47:04each acting like a job-placement scheme for the other.
0:47:04 > 0:47:08What's annoying is the fact that nobody did anything about it.
0:47:08 > 0:47:12The newspapers didn't do anything about it. The police didn't do anything about it.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15The politicians didn't do anything about it. It's just rancid.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18REPORTER: What about the current occupant of No 10?
0:47:18 > 0:47:22He's never been photographed with Mr Murdoch, even when he was invited to visit him,
0:47:22 > 0:47:25discreetly, just days after the last election.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28With the full extent of phone hacking becoming clear,
0:47:28 > 0:47:33politicians were given a chance in July to grill Rupert Murdoch about his knowledge of the scandal.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37But the occasion ended in farce when stand up comedian Jonnie Marbles stepped forward
0:47:37 > 0:47:41to let the News Of The World boss know exactly what he thought about him.
0:47:41 > 0:47:48I was the guy who threw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face.
0:47:48 > 0:47:51The foam on a plate was delivered by a member of the public,
0:47:51 > 0:47:56who was rewarded with a right hook from wife Wendy.
0:47:56 > 0:48:00The News Of The World spent so much time telling everyone else in the world off.
0:48:00 > 0:48:04At the same time, they hacked 5,000 people. They broke the law over and over again.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07It shows the moral hypocrisy on the part of the tabloids.
0:48:07 > 0:48:11You know, Rupert Murdoch's this almost Bond villianesque figure.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14I had a plan in my head to try and say something sort of witty and acerbic,
0:48:14 > 0:48:20but what I ended up saying was, "You naughty billionaire," which didn't really cover it.
0:48:20 > 0:48:26But, for some, Jonnie's gesture was almost as annoying as hacking itself.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29I thought he was a bit of a dick. It was just getting good
0:48:29 > 0:48:31and he kind of let Murdoch off the hook a bit.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35Who goes round assaulting 80-year-old men, anyway? Grow up, mate.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38He threw shaving foam in Rupert Murdoch's face,
0:48:38 > 0:48:39where it's meant to go.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42It's like throwing a custard pie in someone's mouth.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45Despite spending two weeks in jail for common assault,
0:48:45 > 0:48:48Jonnie makes no apology for his stunt.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50My only real regret from the whole thing
0:48:50 > 0:48:54is that I pled guilty at the trial, because it would've been real fun
0:48:54 > 0:48:57to call Rupert Murdoch as a witness and just do it all over again.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01The scandal rumbles on.
0:49:01 > 0:49:06Most annoying of 2012? Hold the front page.
0:49:06 > 0:49:08Well, at least on certain newspapers.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19And that's almost your lot. It's been another year full of maddening moments.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21'We've been irked by Essex girls.'
0:49:21 > 0:49:22Shut up.
0:49:22 > 0:49:26- 'And Geordie boys.' - I just want to get them pissed, get them back and bang them.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29'Left astounded by celebrity weddings...'
0:49:29 > 0:49:34Shutting down a whole village does not make you the lady of the manor.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36'..and fallen fashionistas.'
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Oh, my God. Anti-Semitism's so hot, right now!
0:49:38 > 0:49:43- 'Every single one of them managed to irritate us.' - Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh!
0:49:43 > 0:49:45We can safely say that none of them annoyed the nation
0:49:45 > 0:49:49as much as the mob who rampaged their way to our top spot.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57August 2011 saw us shocked by mayhem and destruction
0:49:57 > 0:50:01on a scale not seen on English streets for 30 years.
0:50:03 > 0:50:07Almost every shop on this high street has been trashed and looted
0:50:07 > 0:50:12and it's only in the past few minutes that the police have arrived in any numbers.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18Anger in Tottenham at the fatal shooting by police
0:50:18 > 0:50:20of young father Mark Duggan
0:50:20 > 0:50:26led to rioting in the area that then fireballed out of control throughout the capital.
0:50:27 > 0:50:32I don't know why people... Oh, my God! I don't know why people do this.
0:50:34 > 0:50:39You don't think these sort of things would happen especially in, you know, leafy Enfield.
0:50:41 > 0:50:48There were so many young 14, 15, 16-year-old youths just everywhere.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53My TV was stuck on News 24 and Sky News
0:50:53 > 0:50:56going back and forth, getting the latest updates.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59I think even missed EastEnders. I missed EastEnders to watch the news!
0:51:01 > 0:51:04Over four nights, mobs of youths, some as young as 11 and 12,
0:51:04 > 0:51:09ran rampage, using social networking as a means of encouraging others to loot and riot
0:51:09 > 0:51:14as the disorder spread out of London to cities like Birmingham and Manchester.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16The police can't do nothing.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19So it's a like a freedom act, innit? Do whatever you want today, mate.
0:51:21 > 0:51:24What was really annoying is that all over the Arab world,
0:51:24 > 0:51:27young people were rising up and overturning their governments.
0:51:27 > 0:51:33Our young people were standing around in designer sportswear, messaging on their Blackberrys,
0:51:33 > 0:51:35talking about how hard done by they were
0:51:35 > 0:51:39and rising up for a new pair of trainers and a fresh TV. Like...
0:51:39 > 0:51:45They interviewed one girl and the question they asked was why are you doing this?
0:51:45 > 0:51:47"Well, I had to get my taxes back, innit?"
0:51:47 > 0:51:49This is a 15-year-old child.
0:51:49 > 0:51:52People would text going, "Are you all right, mate?
0:51:52 > 0:51:56"Cars are on fire, shops are being looted, people getting smashed up."
0:51:56 > 0:51:58"Are you safe?"
0:51:58 > 0:52:04So I would text back, "Can't talk now, trying on my brand-new pair of Nike Air High Tops."
0:52:08 > 0:52:10With homes and cars destroyed,
0:52:10 > 0:52:13it was surely time for Dave "Hug A Hoodie" Cameron to sort it out.
0:52:15 > 0:52:19That got me the most angry. David Cameron's away on holiday.
0:52:19 > 0:52:23What's going on, David? He has no excuse for that, no excuse. I'll never forgive him.
0:52:23 > 0:52:24Not returning his calls at all.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32On the front pages of the papers it was "Britain Burning"
0:52:32 > 0:52:35and him just sipping a limonata on a terrace somewhere.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37Tuscany, actually.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40OK, so time for deputy Nick Clegg to step in.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43No, Spain. The Home Secretary.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45Switzerland. Get the Mayor, then.
0:52:45 > 0:52:48Boris is still in Canada. Get him back here!
0:52:52 > 0:52:55There was so much negativity that went on with the riots
0:52:55 > 0:52:58that, being British, we had to make light of it.
0:52:58 > 0:53:04We had to make something funny out of it. Some of the most hilarious things I heard about were the looters.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07Someone running out of a Pound shop.
0:53:07 > 0:53:10That has got to be the most rubbish loot ever.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13A £1 multi-pack bag of crisps.
0:53:15 > 0:53:19Running into a footwear shop and running out with six pairs of shoes
0:53:19 > 0:53:24and being like, "Yeah!" But then they were all the left foot.
0:53:26 > 0:53:29Some were tweeting on Twitter about what they were doing!
0:53:32 > 0:53:34It taught us how stupid some people in London are.
0:53:34 > 0:53:37If you're going to go and get something and get away with it,
0:53:37 > 0:53:43and there's a chance you're gonna get caught, don't come and loot basmati rice. It doesn't make sense.
0:53:43 > 0:53:48Did you see how pleased that kid was with it? He was trying to make it look really gangster.
0:53:48 > 0:53:49That big bag of basmati
0:53:49 > 0:53:52and him throwing, I think, the finger guns at it.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55There is nothing gangster about basmati rice.
0:53:55 > 0:54:00Pilau yes, we all know that(!) Safe. Down with that.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03This will carry on for days, innit?
0:54:03 > 0:54:08The many theories suggested as to the cause of this mid-summer madness
0:54:08 > 0:54:12included over-long school holidays, rap music and violent video games.
0:54:12 > 0:54:16Some scientists even claimed it was all down to geo-magnetic storms
0:54:16 > 0:54:19hitting the Earth and affecting human behaviour.
0:54:19 > 0:54:23We saw you and your friends smash in the windows of Dixons and you took a plasma.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27"Yeah, but, that's because the planet got hit by a meteor, innit?"
0:54:27 > 0:54:30That made me, like, t'ief a Samsung LED.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32That's like going to court and saying,
0:54:32 > 0:54:35"I'm sorry but Mystic Meg said that I must riot today,
0:54:35 > 0:54:36"because I'm a Virgo
0:54:36 > 0:54:41"and it says that the solar flares will cause me to smash in the window of a sports store".
0:54:43 > 0:54:46Annoyed all the politicians were away topping up their tans,
0:54:46 > 0:54:49the traumatised public took to Twitter to rally an army of their own.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52I love the Twitter Clean Up Britain campaign.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54I think it was really good
0:54:54 > 0:54:57and I'm glad that that we had to come together by ourselves,
0:54:57 > 0:55:01because we have the knowledge and strength, as Britonians, to come together
0:55:01 > 0:55:04and sort out the mess the Government should sort out.
0:55:04 > 0:55:09I think it's important to restore people's faith in mankind, basically.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11It's beautiful to see that people actually do care.
0:55:11 > 0:55:15When Boris finally did arrive, there were questions to be answered.
0:55:15 > 0:55:19- CROWD: Where's your broom? Where's your broom? - I just want to say thank you
0:55:19 > 0:55:24to everybody who's come out here today to volunteer to help clear up the mess.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27Thank you. You are the true spirit of this city.
0:55:27 > 0:55:30THEY CHEER
0:55:42 > 0:55:47So there you go. 2011's most annoying people taken to task.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51- Thank you. It was a lot of fun. - Brilliant. Thank you so much.
0:55:51 > 0:55:56No doubt, next year will throw up some new additions to the most annoying hall of infamy.
0:55:56 > 0:55:57All right. I'm done.
0:55:57 > 0:56:01Girls Aloud are dusting off the cobwebs for their tenth anniversary tour.
0:56:01 > 0:56:05England's underperforming footballers are off to the European Championship.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09Then, of course, we have the Olympics to look forward to.
0:56:09 > 0:56:13Here's to an annoying 2012.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:56:30 > 0:56:33E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk