Episode 1

0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:10 > 0:00:18This programme contains adult humour.

0:00:24 > 0:00:28I'm Darryn Lyons and I'm one of this year's most annoying celebrities.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31Giddy up, God bless you.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Welcome to this year's collection of the most annoying people of 2011.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Hi, are you all right?

0:00:36 > 0:00:37ARGH!

0:00:39 > 0:00:42We're going to have a good time, whatever happens.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46In Britain, the more wrong it goes, the more we like it.

0:00:46 > 0:00:51A year where being an annoying celebrity has reached epic new proportions.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Celebrities like always annoying people.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Over the past 12 months, we've been drawing up a hit list

0:00:56 > 0:00:59of the most annoying people from around the globe.

0:00:59 > 0:01:04- This beautiful flower for you.- He's lucky Madonna didn't take that hydrangea and slap him.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- Pop stars.- Hello, everybody.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11- Politicians.- I'll never forgive him. I'm not returning his calls at all.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Phone hackers.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Staff have been putting the finishing touches to the last edition

0:01:16 > 0:01:20of the News of the World because of the latest phone-hacking allegations.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25All the ones that have done their best to rattle our cages and trouble our Twitter.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26What do you think of all this?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28It's nothing less than huge.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30We've got superstar meltdowns...

0:01:30 > 0:01:35All he talked about was hookers and drugs and money, and he's really lost.

0:01:35 > 0:01:40- ..super injunctions... - How about you just don't do shit? How about that?

0:01:40 > 0:01:41How about you just behave?

0:01:41 > 0:01:43..and some super-enhanced bodies.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47I can walk around with a T-shirt that says, "Call my agent". I'm annoying.

0:01:47 > 0:01:52Geordies and gypsies gave TV a whole new breed of extra annoying reality stars.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55I thank God for everything He's done for me.

0:01:55 > 0:02:00Any girl that spits in a man's face is a girl I want to be rolling with.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06Pop's divas continued their battle of shock and awe...

0:02:06 > 0:02:10Whips and chains. Does she want to be a jockey, a dog handler?

0:02:10 > 0:02:13..whilst Justin Bieber just stank of his own perfume.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Is it for girls?

0:02:15 > 0:02:19- Katie Price got herself a new man... - I haven't got a particular type.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21..Shane Warne got a new face...

0:02:21 > 0:02:25There's nothing more annoying in a man than a badly-plucked eyebrow.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28..and, never one to be outdone, Lindsay Lohan got herself a new prison sentence.

0:02:28 > 0:02:33The fact that she just wants to nick things is just appalling.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35# I wanna sing

0:02:35 > 0:02:37# I wanna shout

0:02:37 > 0:02:41# I wanna scream till the words dry out... #

0:02:41 > 0:02:442011 has also been the year of the unexpected.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48Looters and rioters shattered our big cities.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Across the world, a new breed of sluts reclaim the streets.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55It's an attempt to reclaim the word "slut" itself.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59An old boy preacher predicted the end of the world.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Did I say today? I mean next year, sorry, sorry.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05But no-one could have predicted that a bridesmaid's derriere

0:03:05 > 0:03:08would steal the limelight from a Royal bride.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Pippa's bum just took over the nation.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Whilst girls were busy saying, "I do",

0:03:13 > 0:03:18the boys were busy saying, "I don't want politicians on my ward..."

0:03:18 > 0:03:20I'm not having it. Now, out.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22"..don't want women referees..."

0:03:22 > 0:03:25For some reason, the offside rule is apparently like kryptonite to us.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28"..and don't to talk about my 13-year-old illegitimate love child."

0:03:28 > 0:03:33(AS SCHWARZENEGGER) And from the cleaner, I had a child. Don't tell anyone.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37So, coming up, we've got loser looters, barking brides,

0:03:37 > 0:03:40a pie-wielding comedian and even a talking orange.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Hey, Apple!- What?- You look fruity!

0:03:43 > 0:03:44ORANGE LAUGHS

0:03:44 > 0:03:49So, sit back and vent with vehemence as we introduce the most pesky,

0:03:49 > 0:03:54the most irksome, and the most annoying irritants of 2011.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02We begin our most annoying journey with the shocking tale

0:04:02 > 0:04:06of ex-cricketer Shane Warne's voyage into metrosexuality.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07He was rugged.

0:04:07 > 0:04:08Loves a lager.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10He bulky and he's burly.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13He had foibles. He had faults.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16His hair smelt of cigarettes. He was pure man.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19He didn't really even look like he showered, let alone groomed.

0:04:19 > 0:04:24Butch Aussie, macho beer-drinking, pie-eating, baked-bean eating

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Aussie man. What's happened to Warnie?

0:04:31 > 0:04:34He's been...changed.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36She's kind of pulled him in.

0:04:36 > 0:04:41She's got this kind of, you know, bewitching way about her.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44And it's interesting that Liz Hurley once played the devil in a film

0:04:44 > 0:04:49because there's something wrong with this.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Liz has got her claws and teeth and Estee Lauder

0:04:53 > 0:04:58and Botox. It's just so un-Australian, Shane.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02# Man, I feel like a woman... #

0:05:02 > 0:05:05What has he had done to his face?

0:05:05 > 0:05:09He's gone a strange shade of orange.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12There is nothing more annoying in a man than a badly-plucked eyebrow.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Tweezers can be deadly in the wrong hands.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19It's so kind of swollen, and he's had his teeth done,

0:05:19 > 0:05:23it looks like, and his lips look weird.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Is he so whipped up into some kind of sexual frenzy by Elizabeth,

0:05:26 > 0:05:29that he literally can't think any more?

0:05:29 > 0:05:31It's a fascinating situation.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Well, it would be fascinating if it wasn't so annoying.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Next on our list of annoyance...

0:05:42 > 0:05:46..what could be nicer than a nice refreshing ice cream?

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Surely, nothing to get annoyed about here.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Rum and raisin, raspberry ripple.

0:05:51 > 0:05:52# Ra, ra, ah-ah-ah... #

0:05:52 > 0:05:56Not for this new Covent Garden ice-cream emporium.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Breast milk.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01My three boys have all been raised on breast milk.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04It's the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07It's beautiful, organic, free-range, totally natural,

0:06:07 > 0:06:10good enough for my kids, good enough for our ice cream.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12# You're as cold as ice... #

0:06:12 > 0:06:16In February this year, the arrival of Baby Gaga ice cream,

0:06:16 > 0:06:21churned from the breast milk of a mum from Leeds, caused something of a meltdown.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Sorry, the thought of it makes me feel quite ill.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Oh, God.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27No, thank you.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31I think it's a bit of a yuck factor, isn't it?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33It smells fine.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37Disgusting. Appalling. Gag-inducing.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I don't want to taste breast milk.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42I don't even want to taste my own breast milk and I certainly,

0:06:42 > 0:06:44God help me, don't want to taste yours.

0:06:44 > 0:06:48You're bound to have a yuck factor with a breast-milk ice cream.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53But when you think about it, it's the most natural thing in the world.

0:06:53 > 0:06:59Westminster Council didn't agree, and seized the titty tutti frutti,

0:06:59 > 0:07:02but after vigorous testing, had to admit they'd boobed

0:07:02 > 0:07:04and it went back on sale to a doubtful public.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08Aah, here we go.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15Mmm, oh, that is actually...

0:07:15 > 0:07:16That's pretty good, yeah.

0:07:16 > 0:07:21What kind of a person with normal mental health

0:07:21 > 0:07:26wants to eat breast-milk ice cream?

0:07:26 > 0:07:28(CREEPILY) "Can I have a breast-milk ice cream, please?"

0:07:28 > 0:07:30That's all it's going to attract.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32"Can you just put one sultana on top of the...

0:07:32 > 0:07:34"on top there, yes?"

0:07:34 > 0:07:36"Can I have some hundreds and thousands for the areola?"

0:07:36 > 0:07:40I think it's disgusting, yeah. Not very nice.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42What if I develop a taste for it?

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Where do I go from there?

0:07:44 > 0:07:48I start breaking into hospitals, going up to sleeping women.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Someone's breastfeeding their kid on a bus and I get involved

0:07:50 > 0:07:52and then I'm the creep, I'm the loser,

0:07:52 > 0:07:54I'm on the front page of the paper - "pervert".

0:07:54 > 0:07:57# Ra, ra, ra-ah-ah... #

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Even more annoyed was pop superstar Lady Gaga,

0:07:59 > 0:08:04who called the product "nausea-inducing" and detrimental to her image,

0:08:04 > 0:08:08and threatened legal action unless it was taken off sale.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12She's just annoyed she didn't think of it first.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Next time she comes on stage, she can come on as a giant breast

0:08:15 > 0:08:18and just literally be spurted onto the stage amidst milk.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22I thought she would just turn it into a publicity stunt

0:08:22 > 0:08:27and just be in the kitchen with two suckers attached to her boobs going, # Ooh, la, la-la-la! #

0:08:28 > 0:08:31That's the most crazy woman that we've got.

0:08:31 > 0:08:35When you go crazy, you go Lady Gaga and SHE thought it was strange.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Get it off the shelves, seriously. It's weird.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41# Want your bad romance. #

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Have you got any more?

0:08:45 > 0:08:47At 48, it's the vajazzle queen.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52# When I grow up I wanna be famous... #

0:08:52 > 0:08:57It's been a year of an annoyingly high profile for tabloid darling Amy Childs.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00She's the girl who shot to fame on TV show The Only Way is Essex

0:09:00 > 0:09:05for her intimate female decorating skills, and not much else.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Amy Childs is annoying because

0:09:07 > 0:09:10all she's basically doing is putting sequins on vaginas,

0:09:10 > 0:09:13but how does that make you worthy of my attention?

0:09:13 > 0:09:14Er, shut up.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17She's not particularly talented. She's not particularly intelligent.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23She said something about wanting to be the next Jordan or something,

0:09:23 > 0:09:25and that's...

0:09:25 > 0:09:29What a fabulously annoying aspiration to have!

0:09:29 > 0:09:35Amy's strategy for becoming this year's Katie Price began by waving goodbye to her TOWIE roots

0:09:35 > 0:09:38to join other red-carpet Z-listers on this year's Celebrity Big Brother.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42For Amy, going on Big Brother was just sort of a natural step for her.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46I mean, she was being cut out of TOWIE because... she wasn't that interesting.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51In what is essentially just a televised popularity contest,

0:09:51 > 0:09:55she finished behind Jedward and behind Kerry Katona -

0:09:55 > 0:09:59a woman who can't even be paid to advertise frozen buffets any more.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02Is that really what you want on your CV? I don't know.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06She may have been a turn-off on Big Brother, but with her very own

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Channel 5 reality show and a big money supermarket ad campaign,

0:10:09 > 0:10:13it looks like Amy's annoying fame is set to continue.

0:10:13 > 0:10:16Maybe we're all just "well jeal".

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Just because she's been on telly, she's now quite a big celebrity.

0:10:19 > 0:10:24The word celebrity, it used to mean something. It feels dirty now.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26I'm jealous of Amy Childs, you know.

0:10:26 > 0:10:30I'm going to grow my hair long, get my tits done, get some fake tan on.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32I'm there. I'm made.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Apparating in at 47...

0:10:35 > 0:10:39After seven kids' books, eight movies

0:10:39 > 0:10:44and over £10 billion profit, we can finally say goodbye to perky Harry.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46# I'm kissing you goodbye... #

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Harry Potter.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Harry Potter, I can't believe it. - And his big Harry wand.

0:10:51 > 0:10:52I can't believe it's over.

0:10:52 > 0:10:57It's absolutely been a bad spell of Harry Potter all the way through

0:10:57 > 0:11:02and me, for one, I'm glad that 2011 marks the end of Harry Potter.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05# I'm kissing you goodbye... #

0:11:05 > 0:11:08Fine with children enjoying Harry Potter. Not OK with adults.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11I've been to quite a few of the premieres before,

0:11:11 > 0:11:14but I've never managed to get any autographs,

0:11:14 > 0:11:16so, hopefully, today I'll do that.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20My friends are like, "You've got to read the book. It's really good.!

0:11:20 > 0:11:23I'll tell you what I really hate about Harry Potter -

0:11:23 > 0:11:26people telling me that I have to read Harry Potter.

0:11:26 > 0:11:32A long time ago, I read... the first two books.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34They're like, "But you're going to love this one.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36No, I know I won't love this!

0:11:36 > 0:11:37It's amazing!

0:11:37 > 0:11:40Hogwarts. Even the word is ridiculous.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Harry Potter is the most annoying, cos I don't know any others.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46Is there a Dumbledorf? Is he a child? I don't like him.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Is there a Dumbledorf, though?

0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Doobledorf?- Dumbledore. - I don't care.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55I don't like him. I don't like him. There's a kid with red hair. I don't like him.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57There's a girl. I don't like her.

0:11:57 > 0:12:01But is this the last we will ever see of Potter and Co?

0:12:01 > 0:12:06- It's not over.- JK Rowling will not let it go. She's like, "It's over!

0:12:06 > 0:12:09"I'm done. Here's a theme park!" "It's over. I'm done. Here's a website!"

0:12:09 > 0:12:13I'm sure the film companies will find another way to wring

0:12:13 > 0:12:17more money out of Hogwarts and JK Rowling and Harry Potter.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20There'll be a Harry Potter burger, or God knows what, but something.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22They're not going to let that go.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25SCREAMING

0:12:27 > 0:12:32At number 46, we've got a case of an inappropriate erection.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35Two and a half years after his death,

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Michael Jackson is still making news

0:12:37 > 0:12:41but the crime in question wasn't anything to do with dodgy doctors

0:12:41 > 0:12:44but the vision of the King of Kensington, Mohammed Al Fayed.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48The ex-Harrods boss and Jackson fan belatedly decided

0:12:48 > 0:12:51he wanted to pay tribute to the King of Pop by commissioning

0:12:51 > 0:12:54a brand-new life-sized statue.

0:12:54 > 0:12:59Al Fayed was following in a long line of other artistic attempts.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Back in 1988, we had pop artist Jeff Koons' kitsch porcelain.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Look at the expression on his face in that one.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08When you've got a monkey on your lap, you shouldn't look like that.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12Earlier this year, we saw Maria von Kohler's freaky tribute

0:13:12 > 0:13:15to Jackson's parenting skills unveiled in London.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18I reckon every statue is supposed to encourage us.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20That's how we should be in life. This is wrong.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23And, of course, we can't forget

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Michael's OWN unassuming little number back in 1995.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29One of the moments when Michael Jackson's career

0:13:29 > 0:13:32was essentially considered to be over, was when he decided to

0:13:32 > 0:13:39bring down, on a barge on the Thames, a huge statue of himself.

0:13:39 > 0:13:43So, how and where would the eccentric Egyptian pay homage?

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Fans of the Fulham football club he owns got the hump

0:13:49 > 0:13:52when he decided that their home ground, Craven Cottage -

0:13:52 > 0:13:56a place Jacko had visited ONCE back in 1999 -

0:13:56 > 0:14:02was the ideal place for his own personal memorial to the deceased pop star.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05We all know he lived and breathed Fulham.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Some of his best songs are about Fulham - Black and White,

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Bad - last season against Stoke, that's what he wrote it about.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13# I'm bad, I'm bad

0:14:13 > 0:14:14# Really, really bad

0:14:14 > 0:14:17# You know I'm bad, I'm bad

0:14:17 > 0:14:19# You know it... #

0:14:19 > 0:14:23It looks cheap. For a man as rich as he is, he could have thrown

0:14:23 > 0:14:27a bit more money at it and made it look...just respectable.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30It looks like it's been painted by a kid.

0:14:30 > 0:14:35I've been coming here for 35 years and that's the silliest thing I've ever seen.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38The actual statue looks more like Michael

0:14:38 > 0:14:44than the Michael we know himself. It's so much more plastic, just like how Michael's supposed to be.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47It makes the club look silly. It's completely out of place.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49I don't know what it's got to do with.

0:14:49 > 0:14:53It might seem an unlikely place to pay tribute to Michael Jackson,

0:14:53 > 0:14:58but Chairman Mohammed Al Fayed insisted everyone share in his enthusiasm.

0:14:58 > 0:15:03If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift

0:15:03 > 0:15:07this guy gave to the world, you know, they can just go to hell.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09- # Beat it - Beat it

0:15:09 > 0:15:10- # Beat it - Beat it... #

0:15:10 > 0:15:14Normally, when fans are critical of a football chairman,

0:15:14 > 0:15:17the chairman does that very PR sort of thing of saying, you know,

0:15:17 > 0:15:21"I respect your opinions, but this is something that's going to happen."

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Al Fayed just doesn't get it.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26He told them to go to hell and, if they want, go and support Chelsea.

0:15:26 > 0:15:31That's how it should be done. It should be that level of honesty. I own the place. You jump on board.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33- # Just beat it - Beat it

0:15:33 > 0:15:34- # Beat it - Beat it... #

0:15:34 > 0:15:38Mr Al Fayed wasn't the only celeb splashing his cash this year.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44It's time for us to take a quick diversion to our top three chart

0:15:44 > 0:15:48of 2011's most annoying celebrity spenders.

0:15:48 > 0:15:49It's a girl's dream.

0:15:49 > 0:15:53At number three, it's the Hollywood A-list couple who let the train take the strain.

0:15:53 > 0:15:57Brad and Angelina wanted to go to Glasgow, where he was filming.

0:15:57 > 0:16:01Most average people would get a train, or even a coach.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04But no, we are going to charter our own train because we are

0:16:04 > 0:16:09Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and we need a whole train to ourselves. It was about 60,000 to do the trip.

0:16:09 > 0:16:13Can you imagine chartering a whole train just for yourselves?

0:16:13 > 0:16:17At number two, it's Beyonce, who managed to annoy us by splashing

0:16:17 > 0:16:2190 grand in 90 minutes on a shopping trip to London's Oxford Street.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24The best thing was she went to Top Shop.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27How do you spend 90 grand in Top Shop?

0:16:27 > 0:16:31But even Beyonce's speed shopping looks like small change

0:16:31 > 0:16:35next to our most annoying celebrity spenders of the year.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37The Ecclestone sisters.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41It's really horrible the way they're so crass with their money.

0:16:41 > 0:16:47When it comes to annoying celebrity spending, no-one can compete with Tamara and Petra Ecclestone,

0:16:47 > 0:16:51the daughters of billionaire Formula One boss, Bernie Ecclestone.

0:16:51 > 0:16:52With Daddy being so rich,

0:16:52 > 0:16:55Petra had no problem forking out £12 million on her wedding

0:16:55 > 0:17:00this year, and then snapped up a modest little place for when she's in LA.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04Petra Ecclestone bought the Spelling mansion for over 80 million.

0:17:04 > 0:17:08I definitely think, in this age of austerity, that people who are

0:17:08 > 0:17:14splashing their cash is really not something that people want to see any more.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17Not to be outdone by her little sis, Tamara also hit the headlines

0:17:17 > 0:17:21this year, when she blew £1 million on a new bath.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Yes, that's a million pounds on a bath.

0:17:25 > 0:17:29The fact that Tamara Ecclestone recently added a £1 million

0:17:29 > 0:17:34crystal bath tub to her £45 million Chelsea apartment is selfish,

0:17:34 > 0:17:38I find it indulgent and I find it a little bit disgusting.

0:17:38 > 0:17:43What's annoying about having a £1 million crystal bath

0:17:43 > 0:17:47is you're still going to have to clean the pubes out of it.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54Back to business at 45, the question of cash gets even dirtier.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56# Money, money, money, money... #

0:17:56 > 0:18:00Most British high streets are not awash with cash or million-pound baths.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03This year, as the world's financial downturn continued,

0:18:03 > 0:18:08the public became increasingly angry at the role bankers and traders played in the recession.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11So, back in September, when one motormouth money man

0:18:11 > 0:18:15appeared on the BBC News channel, he really got us annoyed.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18A plan was announced to pump two trillion Euros

0:18:18 > 0:18:22into the Eurozone bailout funds, and all I knew

0:18:22 > 0:18:24from the guidance I'd been given

0:18:24 > 0:18:27is that I was going to be getting reaction to this

0:18:27 > 0:18:32'from a man called Alessio Rastani, who was an independent day trader.'

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Right, can you pin down exactly what would keep investors happy,

0:18:36 > 0:18:38make them feel more confident?

0:18:38 > 0:18:42I happened to be watching when... what's his name now?

0:18:42 > 0:18:45A man so anonymous, even HE hadn't heard of himself.

0:18:45 > 0:18:48It doesn't matter how much money they want to put in,

0:18:48 > 0:18:50it's not going to work.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53We do a lot of these interviews where people don't necessarily

0:18:53 > 0:18:57give you a particularly memorable sound bite,

0:18:57 > 0:18:59but this man turned out to be really rather different.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02The market is toast. The stock market is finished.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04The governments don't rule the world,

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Goldman Sachs rules the world.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09If I see an opportunity to make money, I go with that.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11He pretty much pointed out the economy is falling apart.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13We knew that anyway. Yeah.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16He was wearing a pink tie. That was quite annoying.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19We don't really care that much how they're going to fix the economy,

0:19:19 > 0:19:22how they're going to fix the whole situation.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Our job is to make money from it.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26They guy was just expressing

0:19:26 > 0:19:30what many thousands of bankers are thinking.

0:19:30 > 0:19:34I go to bed, I dream of another recession, of another moment like this.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36'There was this sort of intake of breath.'

0:19:36 > 0:19:41There was this metaphorical and literal collective dropping of jaws.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43What I meant was I dream of a market crash

0:19:43 > 0:19:46and that's kind of strange for a lot of people.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50Why would anyone be dreaming of a market crash? Isn't that a bad thing?

0:19:50 > 0:19:52For God's sake, I dream of werewolves and flying,

0:19:52 > 0:19:55but you don't see me on the news crowing on about it.

0:19:55 > 0:19:59The biggest risk people can take right now is not acting.

0:19:59 > 0:20:03- Do you dream about the economy at night?- I try not to.- Yeah.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06'As I walked out of that TV studio on that day,'

0:20:06 > 0:20:08I noticed that something was wrong -

0:20:08 > 0:20:11even the people around me in the studio and the reception

0:20:11 > 0:20:14were looking at me - they'd seen what I'd just said on TV.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17I sensed there's something different, something wrong.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20And the reaction by the end of that night was huge -

0:20:20 > 0:20:24newspapers talking about it. The next day, reporters calling me.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27I've got Forbes Magazine, New York Magazine calling me

0:20:27 > 0:20:30and I couldn't understand what's going on, so it was unbelievable.

0:20:30 > 0:20:34- # Money talks - Listen... #

0:20:34 > 0:20:38Alessio's outspoken claims were dismissed by some as attention-seeking antics,

0:20:38 > 0:20:43but they did attract invitations from the biggest names on TV to explain himself.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46His whole attitude was quite annoying.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Apparently, he's going to get very rich off of this depression now

0:20:49 > 0:20:52and we have to do something about it. I'll get annoyed.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55I'll throw a brick through my television next time I see him on there.

0:20:55 > 0:21:00I heard that I'd been selected for the most annoying people of 2011.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03I think, if anything, I've been annoyingly accurate.

0:21:03 > 0:21:07What he's actually done, is he's told us where bankers stand

0:21:07 > 0:21:11and much as many of us thought, it's directly behind us

0:21:11 > 0:21:15with a scalpel, draining us of our life blood.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19- # Money talks - Listen... #

0:21:19 > 0:21:25At 44, it's the rapper who's getting more famous for his rants than his rhymes.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30Kanye West - the man that put the C into rap.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33Kanye is definitely the most self-absorbed

0:21:33 > 0:21:36and conceited rapper out there, because he's under

0:21:36 > 0:21:38the assumption that everyone is constantly

0:21:38 > 0:21:41concerned with him and what he's doing in his personal life.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Whining West took annoyance to new heights this year

0:21:44 > 0:21:47when he elevated himself to being up there with the most hated man in history.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51My God, Kanye, you've done it this time. Comparing himself, now, to Hitler.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02Unfair, obviously. Hitler at least had some people that liked him.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05# Don't speak I know just what you're saying... #

0:22:05 > 0:22:09Even that comparison, he meant it as like, "Ah, I'm a victim".

0:22:09 > 0:22:11But you're still comparing yourself

0:22:11 > 0:22:13to a man who tried to take over the world.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17It's still arrogant. No matter what he says, it's arrogant.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21Comparing yourself to Hitler is a bit extreme, and it's going to make headlines.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25He's definitely courting a little controversy, and he loves that.

0:22:25 > 0:22:30Whenever I hear him talk, I think, remember when he had a car accident and had his jaw wired shut?

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Those were good times.

0:22:32 > 0:22:38Renowned for his own bizarre sense of style, Kanye's next annoyance in 2011

0:22:38 > 0:22:41was a bid to become king of the catwalk,

0:22:41 > 0:22:45launching his very own diffusion line for dames at Paris Fashion Week.

0:22:45 > 0:22:50His fashion collection, annoying and a huge, huge disaster.

0:22:50 > 0:22:56Now he's taken to leading a line in fashion of harem pants and ladies' cardigans.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58What? What is going on there?

0:22:58 > 0:23:01The stuff that he created for Louis Vuitton

0:23:01 > 0:23:04made me throw up in the store and then I had to purchase the shoes.

0:23:04 > 0:23:08With the fashion fallout, what should the Hitler of hip-hop do next?

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Your music is good. Just rely on that.

0:23:10 > 0:23:15Stop tweeting out annoying things. Stop taking yourself too seriously.

0:23:15 > 0:23:19I just think his ego has gotten enormously, gigantically massive.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22I think what would be best for the world in 2012

0:23:22 > 0:23:24is if Kanye West becomes a mute.

0:23:24 > 0:23:29At number 43, some mothers who maybe DON'T know best.

0:23:29 > 0:23:33# What would my mama do? #

0:23:33 > 0:23:392011 has seen the rise of the horrible, pushy, showy mum

0:23:39 > 0:23:41who wants their daughter to be famous,

0:23:41 > 0:23:44whatever the cost and, unfortunately, that cost

0:23:44 > 0:23:48seems to be their appearance, their health, their general wellbeing.

0:23:48 > 0:23:52# I whip my hair back and forth... #

0:23:52 > 0:23:55In 2011, pushy mums have been slapped across the nation's headlines

0:23:55 > 0:23:59for indulging their darling daughters just a little too much

0:23:59 > 0:24:02and one British mum whipped us into a frenzy for confessing

0:24:02 > 0:24:05she'd Botoxed her seven-year-old child in a deranged bid

0:24:05 > 0:24:09to help her daughter find fame like her idol, Willow Smith.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12# So keep the party jumpin'... #

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Disgusting. How can you put Botox into a child's face?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18If she has got lines on the face, sort yourself out, love.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Have a clay face mask.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Don't you just hate it when you hit five

0:24:22 > 0:24:25and Mother Nature starts taking a toll?

0:24:25 > 0:24:29It all goes and it all goes south. Those non-existent boobs that you've developed

0:24:29 > 0:24:31are hanging by your ankles.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34It's just ridiculous. I mean, what are these women thinking?!

0:24:34 > 0:24:38# And now you wanna pretend that you're a superstar... #

0:24:38 > 0:24:43But our most annoying plastic parent of 2011 goes to Sarah Burge.

0:24:43 > 0:24:47She spent half a million turning herself into a Botox Barbie

0:24:47 > 0:24:51and thinks her daughters should totter in her tiny footsteps.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54# When everyone's gone and you are by yourself... #

0:24:54 > 0:24:59Seven-year-old Poppy and mother Sarah Burge bond over beauty so much

0:24:59 > 0:25:03that 50-year-old Sarah has given her little girl a voucher

0:25:03 > 0:25:06for breast implants, that she can use when she turns 18.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09The only think a seven-year-old should be deciding

0:25:09 > 0:25:11is whether she wants to watch Peppa Pig or Blue Peter.

0:25:11 > 0:25:17There's no need for her to be deciding if she wants bigger boobs, bigger lips or anything.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20I'm almost lost for words, which doesn't happen very often.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23It's absolutely sick. It's warped. It's crazy.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Someone needs to speak to this woman.

0:25:29 > 0:25:34Sarah justified her pushy parenting earlier this year on BBC Three show Botox Britain.

0:25:34 > 0:25:40The problem is that every girl starts to think, "I need to look a certain way",

0:25:40 > 0:25:44and address it and, for me, that is a depressing horror future.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48It might well be, but that's the reality of life, isn't it?

0:25:48 > 0:25:52The playground is ruthless. It's like being on a fashion parade going to school.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55Mums justify it by saying, "Well, look at my daughter.

0:25:55 > 0:26:00"They ask for it. They want it." I asked for a pet dinosaur when I was seven.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02It was neither feasible nor possible. OK?

0:26:02 > 0:26:06And that should be the same with your seven-year-old daughter wanting tits.

0:26:06 > 0:26:07Do not allow it to happen.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09All these crazy mums out there,

0:26:09 > 0:26:12it should be, "Here's your boob job, here's your tattooing of eyebrows

0:26:12 > 0:26:15"and here's your therapist that I will personally pay for

0:26:15 > 0:26:18"from the ages of 15 to 30, when you start slutting it up."

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Popping up next is reluctant role model, Rihanna.

0:26:22 > 0:26:28More used to being number one, this Barbadian balladeer only makes it in at number 42

0:26:28 > 0:26:30on our parade of annoyance.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Get lo-o-o-o-oud!

0:26:32 > 0:26:36Indeed, some question what the saucy songstress is doing here at all.

0:26:36 > 0:26:41I'm shocked how Rihanna is on the most annoying. I think she's... I think she's brilliant.

0:26:41 > 0:26:42I love Rihanna.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46I love all of her music videos. Not her music, just the videos.

0:26:46 > 0:26:50# Cos I may be bad But I'm perfectly good at it... #

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Raunchy Riri was in our face straightaway this year

0:26:52 > 0:26:57with this kinky chorus banned from a dozen countries and daytime Radio One.

0:26:57 > 0:27:00# Chains and whips excite me... #

0:27:00 > 0:27:02My little sister is nine years old.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05I don't want my little sister talking about S&M.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Damn you, Rihanna, stop that.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10No, you're a role model, behave yourself.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12# I like it, like it... #

0:27:12 > 0:27:14These women put flashlights on their vaginas

0:27:14 > 0:27:17and have fireworks shooting out of their breasts.

0:27:17 > 0:27:18They're not a moral compass.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21They are to dance around and blow-dry your hair to.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24# M, M, M S, S, S, and... #

0:27:24 > 0:27:28It's really gotten extreme. Just when I wanted to like Rihanna, she's slutted it up.

0:27:30 > 0:27:33Now, when a farmer in Northern Ireland agreed to

0:27:33 > 0:27:39lend his field to a film crew for a pop video, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Being Rihanna, she'd forgot to pack any clothes,

0:27:42 > 0:27:46so she was in there in the field jumping around, and most people

0:27:46 > 0:27:49would be happy about this, apart from one person. That was the farmer.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52# We don't have to take our clothes off

0:27:52 > 0:27:55# To have a good time... #

0:27:55 > 0:27:58The farmer told her, "Look, this isn't going on.

0:27:58 > 0:28:02"I'm a Christian here. I don't want this filth in my field."

0:28:02 > 0:28:07Not only that, all the traffic stopped to watch and perve.

0:28:07 > 0:28:10He went over to her and he said,

0:28:10 > 0:28:14"You shouldn't have to take off your top to make a living".

0:28:14 > 0:28:17And in one fell swoop, this small Northern Irish farmer

0:28:17 > 0:28:19landed sort of a feminist critique

0:28:19 > 0:28:22that hundreds of politicians or feminists couldn't land.

0:28:24 > 0:28:27You're the most powerful woman in music right now.

0:28:27 > 0:28:30Why do you think you still have to run around topless?

0:28:30 > 0:28:33"Oh, because I'm liberated. It makes me feel sexy."

0:28:33 > 0:28:36You're in a field in Northern Ireland.

0:28:36 > 0:28:38# Now we're standing side by side... #

0:28:38 > 0:28:42Can you imagine that happening to Madonna or even Britney Spears?

0:28:42 > 0:28:43No chance, no chance.

0:28:43 > 0:28:46Superstar gets her tits out and gets told off by a farmer.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48It's kind of not a sexy headline, is it?

0:28:48 > 0:28:53# We found love in a hopeless place... #

0:28:53 > 0:28:58I don't think shell be losing any sleep about people telling her what she should or shouldn't be doing

0:28:58 > 0:29:01and, sadly, I don't think she'll lose much sleep about

0:29:01 > 0:29:03being considered an annoying person of 2011.

0:29:03 > 0:29:05# Hopeless place... #

0:29:05 > 0:29:09At number 41, it's the Sperminator.

0:29:13 > 0:29:17Arnold Schwarzenegger has been particularly annoying this year

0:29:17 > 0:29:20because we found out that the Terminator wasn't a hero.

0:29:20 > 0:29:23In fact, he was a cheat - cheated on his wife,

0:29:23 > 0:29:27sired an illegitimate child with his housekeeper.

0:29:27 > 0:29:31One expects better from the Kindergarten Cop.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34Yes, 2011 was the year that it was revealed that Terminator

0:29:34 > 0:29:37had turned sperm donator.

0:29:37 > 0:29:40In May, Arnie shocked Hollywood when he announced he was splitting

0:29:40 > 0:29:43with his wife, Maria Shriver, after 25 years of marriage.

0:29:43 > 0:29:47Now there are so many people that I want to thank,

0:29:47 > 0:29:50but I want to start first with my wife Maria.

0:29:50 > 0:29:52CHEERING

0:29:52 > 0:29:57We then found out the reason for the break-up was that Arnie's missus had got wind of the fact

0:29:57 > 0:30:00that her cleaner's son might have a secret dad.

0:30:00 > 0:30:04Maria, his wife, suddenly noticed a strange similarity

0:30:04 > 0:30:07between the housemaid's son and her husband.

0:30:07 > 0:30:13She confronted the housemaid and realised Arnie had been playing away.

0:30:13 > 0:30:17(AS SCHWARZENEGGER) And from the cleaner, I had a child. Don't tell anyone.

0:30:17 > 0:30:19# Got to love ya Got to love ya... #

0:30:19 > 0:30:27My question is, how, physically, do you have sex with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

0:30:27 > 0:30:28I mean, the guy is so ripped.

0:30:28 > 0:30:31I would imagine, when he ejaculates, it's just going to come

0:30:31 > 0:30:35crashing out of the top of your skull, through the headboard,

0:30:35 > 0:30:37through the wall and into the living room.

0:30:37 > 0:30:41I have a great time doing it. I have a very good physical background.

0:30:41 > 0:30:43"I'm going to come." Booff!

0:30:43 > 0:30:47The result of Arnie's supersonic secret sexual encounter

0:30:47 > 0:30:50was the now-13-year-old Joseph Bueno.

0:30:50 > 0:30:56His mother, Patty, had been a cleaner at the Schwarzenegger house for the last, er...13 years!

0:30:56 > 0:31:00It might have taken a long time for Maria to work out what had gone on,

0:31:00 > 0:31:05but why did it take the former governor of California so long to reveal the truth?

0:31:05 > 0:31:08The really annoying thing about all of this is the fact

0:31:08 > 0:31:12that he must have known about this for longer, but kept it all quiet

0:31:12 > 0:31:16while he was in political office, and that's pretty low, I think.

0:31:18 > 0:31:21Old-school Arnie has proven he can keep a secret,

0:31:21 > 0:31:25but modern stars have trouble keeping ANYTHING to themselves.

0:31:25 > 0:31:282011 has been the year that even more celebrities have taken to Twitter,

0:31:28 > 0:31:32but who knew so many of them would be serving up such dire drivel?

0:31:32 > 0:31:35Here, with their very own dodgy spelling and grammar,

0:31:35 > 0:31:39are the year's top three tiresome tweeters.

0:31:39 > 0:31:42At number three, it's Mel B who irritated us

0:31:42 > 0:31:45with this romantic tweet back in June.

0:31:51 > 0:31:56I actually got into a huge barney with Mel B this year,

0:31:56 > 0:32:02which was quite well documented on Twitter, but actually it was all sparked by this tweet.

0:32:02 > 0:32:05A whole load of victims of rape were really disgusted by it.

0:32:05 > 0:32:09It was just a ridiculous comment, and she has to be

0:32:09 > 0:32:12one of those celebrities who should just be banned from Twitter.

0:32:12 > 0:32:15At number two, 50 Cent managed to annoy us

0:32:15 > 0:32:20by making light of the horrific tsunami that destroyed parts of Japan in March.

0:32:28 > 0:32:30LOL.

0:32:30 > 0:32:32If ever there was a time for an LOL, it is

0:32:32 > 0:32:36definitely when there is a massive earthquake in Japan.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39It's ridiculous. You'd think that somebody like 50 Cent would have somebody

0:32:39 > 0:32:45monitoring their tweets. There will be some checks in place, but no.

0:32:45 > 0:32:4950's 140-character thoughts might have irritated us this year,

0:32:49 > 0:32:53but that's nothing compared to bad-boy footballer, Joey Barton,

0:32:53 > 0:32:58a man who has undergone something of a Twitter-aided transformation in 2011.

0:32:58 > 0:33:01Joey Barton - footballer by day,

0:33:01 > 0:33:05deep-thinking Twitter philosopher by night.

0:33:05 > 0:33:10It's like finding out BNP leader Nick Griffin is a reggae DJ in his spare time.

0:33:10 > 0:33:15Joey Barton, footballer, a man once famed for stubbing out a lit cigar

0:33:15 > 0:33:18in the open eye of one of his disbelieving team-mates

0:33:18 > 0:33:25has overcome a kind of cultural intellectual revolution, and become Renaissance man on Twitter.

0:33:27 > 0:33:31This year, Joey has developed the habit of quoting writers and philosophers in his tweets.

0:33:31 > 0:33:37When he fell out with his old club, Newcastle, in July, he tweeted the following.

0:33:43 > 0:33:46I don't really trust Joey Barton's tweets when they're quotes from Orwell.

0:33:46 > 0:33:49I get the impression he's getting these quotes off a website.

0:33:49 > 0:33:53I don't think he's trawling through Orwell's books, picking out a really meaningful quote.

0:33:53 > 0:33:57Maybe the reason we aren't convinced by Joey's literary musings

0:33:57 > 0:34:02is because most of his tweets reveal a more basic side to his hashtag philosophy.

0:34:02 > 0:34:04He gets criticised once on Match Of The Day

0:34:04 > 0:34:08and he has a go at Alan Shearer's hairline and his shirt.

0:34:13 > 0:34:16He showed that he was actually, at heart, a real philosopher.

0:34:16 > 0:34:19Jean Paul Sartre would be proud today.

0:34:19 > 0:34:24Next, a social media slip-up that led to career suicide.

0:34:24 > 0:34:29What would this show be without a politician embroiled in a sex scandal?

0:34:29 > 0:34:34I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

0:34:34 > 0:34:39You may not recognise his face, but millions now recognise his crotch.

0:34:39 > 0:34:41Oh, Anthony Weiner.

0:34:41 > 0:34:43Anthony Weiner is the penis guy.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46We didn't know Anthony Weiner at all until he did this.

0:34:46 > 0:34:49Congressman Anthony Weiner was immediately caught

0:34:49 > 0:34:52after he tweeted a picture of his penis to a girl.

0:34:52 > 0:34:54He thought he was sending a picture of his penis

0:34:54 > 0:34:58to one particular woman, but he sent it to everyone who followed him.

0:34:58 > 0:35:00It's kind of like when you hit "reply all", basically.

0:35:00 > 0:35:03It's a classic mistake for penis showers.

0:35:06 > 0:35:10This year's big political cock-up involved a man

0:35:10 > 0:35:13previously little known in the UK, Anthony Weiner,

0:35:13 > 0:35:17the honourable member for New York's Ninth Congressional District.

0:35:17 > 0:35:21The gentleman is providing cover for his colleagues, rather than doing the right thing.

0:35:21 > 0:35:26Republican blogger Andrew Breitbart, having discovered the tweeted pictures,

0:35:26 > 0:35:30posted them online, and soon Weiner was dish of the day.

0:35:30 > 0:35:38He showed his wiener and his name is Weiner. How ironic.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40You should have seen the New York headlines.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42The New York Post - "Weiner Pulls Out."

0:35:42 > 0:35:44The New York Times - "Weiner Gets Grilled."

0:35:44 > 0:35:48I mean, you couldn't make it up.

0:35:48 > 0:35:54"Obama beats Weiner." You know what they're suggesting there.

0:35:54 > 0:35:57# Don't wanna be an American idiot... #

0:35:57 > 0:36:02Weiner denied the tweeted crotch was his, and claimed his account had been hacked.

0:36:02 > 0:36:06The problem with Anthony Weiner was he handled it the wrong way.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09- Not his wiener.- Not his wiener. His wiener was fine.

0:36:09 > 0:36:12- He handled that well. - And it was a little small.

0:36:12 > 0:36:15I didn't send the photograph. That was... This hacker did.

0:36:15 > 0:36:18I didn't send it to the woman in question.

0:36:18 > 0:36:21She didn't get it. She's made a statement to that effect.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24I saw it immediately, took it down.

0:36:24 > 0:36:27And then by the next weekend, his wife was ready to leave him

0:36:27 > 0:36:29and it was him and then another picture had leaked where

0:36:29 > 0:36:31we had actually seen even more of his wiener.

0:36:35 > 0:36:39I just loved how quickly his arrogance turned on a dime.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41He's just categorically like, "How dare you?

0:36:41 > 0:36:45"How dare you imply that I would do something like that to...

0:36:45 > 0:36:47"Yeah, that was my dick. I'm sorry."

0:36:47 > 0:36:50Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended

0:36:50 > 0:36:54to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle.

0:36:54 > 0:36:57Once I realised I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked,

0:36:57 > 0:36:59I took it down and said that I had been hacked.

0:36:59 > 0:37:03He apologised at an old folk's home, which was great because I'm sure they were like,

0:37:03 > 0:37:08"What does tweeting his penis mean? I think I might do that every night accidentally."

0:37:08 > 0:37:13I brought pain to people I care about the most, and people who believed in me.

0:37:13 > 0:37:18Weiner was forced to quit, and face the wrath of pregnant wife, Huma Abedin.

0:37:18 > 0:37:22The happy couple are expecting their first child in December,

0:37:22 > 0:37:25hopefully in time to buy him this year's must-have toy.

0:37:25 > 0:37:29There is an Anthony Weiner doll out.

0:37:29 > 0:37:34It's sort of like Pinocchio, only the part that grows is lower.

0:37:34 > 0:37:37"Hey, there's a girl!" Who-o-o-op!

0:37:37 > 0:37:39"Hey, I got caught!" Who-o-o-o.

0:37:40 > 0:37:44Overstaying its welcome at 39

0:37:44 > 0:37:47is the technology we've all gotten very tired of -

0:37:47 > 0:37:503D.

0:37:50 > 0:37:54- 3D is shit. - 3D, yeah, it's just a joke.

0:37:54 > 0:37:56I think unless you're a techie nerd,

0:37:56 > 0:37:58I'm just not that interested in 3D stuff.

0:37:58 > 0:38:02Yes, in 2011, the thrill of paying over the odds

0:38:02 > 0:38:07to look like an idiot at a 3D movie has grown increasingly annoying.

0:38:07 > 0:38:08It is absolutely pointless.

0:38:08 > 0:38:12What is the reasoning behind having a film in 3D?

0:38:12 > 0:38:16I did see Harry Potter in 3D. I was told that that was a must.

0:38:16 > 0:38:19And it's great, it's cool,

0:38:19 > 0:38:22but it doesn't really add to my enjoyment of the film.

0:38:22 > 0:38:25I think I would have enjoyed the film anyway.

0:38:25 > 0:38:28It was good in the '80s, when you had Jaws and the glasses for free

0:38:28 > 0:38:31and Jaws was in 3D. It was brilliant, that was.

0:38:31 > 0:38:33But now they've got 3D this, 3D that.

0:38:33 > 0:38:36Not content with pushing overpriced movie tickets,

0:38:36 > 0:38:40the men in suits are now pushing 3D into your living room.

0:38:41 > 0:38:45I think the 3D TVs are definitely for the techie show-offs that want the next thing.

0:38:45 > 0:38:51But I think the joke's on them now, because it's not really kicked off and they just look like geeks.

0:38:51 > 0:38:55But if watching puppies and footballers in stupid glasses

0:38:55 > 0:38:59wasn't annoying enough, back in March, thousands of twitching techies

0:38:59 > 0:39:04joined the bandwagon to purchase the all-new Nintendo 3DS.

0:39:04 > 0:39:07The world-famous console was, this time, in 3D.

0:39:07 > 0:39:11You didn't need glasses, but you did need £250 and no shame.

0:39:12 > 0:39:16It's a fad. It's a very expensive fad. It's not going to last.

0:39:16 > 0:39:18And it was a shame for Nintendo.

0:39:18 > 0:39:21It appeared that 3D wasn't what the techies wanted either.

0:39:21 > 0:39:25Sales - as well as the price of their new console - plummeted

0:39:25 > 0:39:28and the company reported a loss for the first time in years.

0:39:28 > 0:39:31I don't know. I don't think it's really necessary

0:39:31 > 0:39:35to have a little dog in the screen that's paw can come up slightly towards you.

0:39:35 > 0:39:39I don't really understand that. Doesn't really do it for me.

0:39:39 > 0:39:41Breaking a sweat at 38,

0:39:41 > 0:39:46it's a form of exercise that's been growing like wildfire in 2011.

0:39:46 > 0:39:49- Zumba. - Zumba. Zumba.

0:39:49 > 0:39:51# Cha-de-de-de-de. #

0:39:51 > 0:39:53Zumba has got it going on.

0:39:54 > 0:39:59Can you actually tell the difference whether someone is Zumba-ing or they're being Tasered?

0:39:59 > 0:40:04It's just somebody doing this. Zumba, Zumba, Zumba.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07Zumba. I charge four quid for that.

0:40:07 > 0:40:11Created by one Beto Perez, Zumba classes are a bizarre clash

0:40:11 > 0:40:13of '80s aerobics...

0:40:13 > 0:40:15# Let's get physical... #

0:40:15 > 0:40:17..and '90s Macarena.

0:40:17 > 0:40:18# Hey, Macarena! #

0:40:18 > 0:40:24And, in 2011, it has been turning women across the globe into Zumba zealots.

0:40:24 > 0:40:27Please stop for your own benefit because if you've got kids,

0:40:27 > 0:40:31when they grow up, they've got to put up with looking you in the eye.

0:40:31 > 0:40:33# One, two, three, four Uno, dos, tres... #

0:40:33 > 0:40:37These Zumba zombies have been trying to get everyone addicted

0:40:37 > 0:40:39to its annoying mix of Latin and Lycra.

0:40:39 > 0:40:41# You know I want ya I know you want me... #

0:40:41 > 0:40:45Zumba is a great cardio workout. You get great legs.

0:40:45 > 0:40:48You get a toned stomach because you're constantly,

0:40:48 > 0:40:50gyrating, rotating, shaking.

0:40:50 > 0:40:53There's three types of people in this world -

0:40:53 > 0:40:55people who don't bother doing exercise,

0:40:55 > 0:40:58people who do exercise, or people who think

0:40:58 > 0:41:03finding some sort of gimmicky thing that's either on a DVD or goes on in a local church hall

0:41:03 > 0:41:06on a Wednesday will somehow make you ultimately fit and healthy.

0:41:06 > 0:41:08Instead of having a Ryvita, which is really boring,

0:41:08 > 0:41:12you can be sexy, Zumba away, and look fit. It's perfect.

0:41:12 > 0:41:15"Darren's teaching you all Zumba this week. It's going to be great.

0:41:15 > 0:41:18"You're all going to lose that fat off your arses."

0:41:18 > 0:41:24You're not, because you'll go home, watch the Coronation Street omnibus and have 15 packets of biscuits.

0:41:26 > 0:41:28I think that people who don't like Zumba

0:41:28 > 0:41:31and who are annoyed by it are probably intimidated by it,

0:41:31 > 0:41:35because I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage to go out there

0:41:35 > 0:41:38and really move your body in a sexual way in front of everyone.

0:41:38 > 0:41:40I think if the men actually went to Zumba,

0:41:40 > 0:41:47they'd probably enjoy it, because there are a lot of ladies jiggling around in not many clothes.

0:41:47 > 0:41:48# Let's get loud... #

0:41:48 > 0:41:52The zest for Zumba reached a peak earlier this year

0:41:52 > 0:41:56when an army of 3,500 fitness fans Zumba-ed en masse in London.

0:41:56 > 0:41:59It was for charity, which was good, but its deadly spell

0:41:59 > 0:42:03hooked a host of celebrities into its sweaty clutches.

0:42:03 > 0:42:06It's like a secret society, slowing building up the numbers

0:42:06 > 0:42:08until, one day, Zumba will take over the world

0:42:08 > 0:42:12and everybody is going to be bloody Zumba-ing. Well, I won't be.

0:42:12 > 0:42:16I'll be on top of that clock tower with a rifle picking them all off one by one because I hate it.

0:42:16 > 0:42:18I hate Zumba.

0:42:20 > 0:42:23Rolling in at 37, some travellers went off-road

0:42:23 > 0:42:30and right onto our TV screens, making Gypsy Weddings the surprise water-cooler topic of the year.

0:42:30 > 0:42:33# Gypsies, tramps and thieves... #

0:42:33 > 0:42:37It's built their reputation that they're weird, fantastical beings

0:42:37 > 0:42:40that have these elaborate weddings and live under bridges.

0:42:40 > 0:42:44# Gypsies, tramps and thieves... #

0:42:44 > 0:42:47I reckon Katie Price is gutted, absolutely gutted.

0:42:47 > 0:42:50There she was thinking, "No-one can outdo me

0:42:50 > 0:42:53"when it comes to weddings and tackiness", and then these gypsies

0:42:53 > 0:42:57come along with their huge dresses and cakes the size of a room.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59She's livid.

0:42:59 > 0:43:02# L-I-F-E G-O-E-S O-N

0:43:02 > 0:43:05# You've got more than money and sense, my friend... #

0:43:05 > 0:43:08Any culture that spends more time making an elaborate wedding dress

0:43:08 > 0:43:13than they do building foundations for an actual house, is fine by me. They're amazing people.

0:43:13 > 0:43:16# What you don't have now will come back again... #

0:43:16 > 0:43:20Forget fake '80s shoulder pads, we're talking killer kitsch here.

0:43:20 > 0:43:24And what some viewers struggled with were the freakish fairytale dresses

0:43:24 > 0:43:28the gypsy brides wore for their big day.

0:43:28 > 0:43:32Have you seen these dresses? I mean, they have their own postcode.

0:43:32 > 0:43:33Hello?

0:43:33 > 0:43:37You just want something that's kind of feminine, elegant,

0:43:37 > 0:43:41comfortable. Theirs were none of these things.

0:43:41 > 0:43:43I've had a lot of people say to me,

0:43:43 > 0:43:45"Don't you go overboard with your children?"

0:43:45 > 0:43:49And you've got to tell them, "I give my child what she wants."

0:43:49 > 0:43:53Listen, your child is born, it's a Christening you're going to give her,

0:43:53 > 0:43:58Holy Communion you're going to give her, a Confirmation you're going to give her, and a wedding.

0:43:58 > 0:44:01There's only four things you have to give her that are major.

0:44:01 > 0:44:03# Goin' to the chapel... #

0:44:03 > 0:44:09Gypsy go-to dressmaker Thelma Madine provided most of the crinoline creations we were all talking about.

0:44:09 > 0:44:11Every one of these girls are really young

0:44:11 > 0:44:15and it's like a fairytale wedding is what they want,

0:44:15 > 0:44:20and they actually bring us videos of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty.

0:44:20 > 0:44:23They want this type of dream wedding dress.

0:44:23 > 0:44:26They want it big and special.

0:44:27 > 0:44:31They could barely walk in them, and that itself was really unattractive.

0:44:31 > 0:44:34They're kind of walking like a cowboy down the aisle.

0:44:36 > 0:44:40We actually tell them, so it comes with a warning sign

0:44:40 > 0:44:45that your hips will be cut and bruised and you will be in pain.

0:44:45 > 0:44:48It doesn't seem to put them off. That's what they want.

0:44:48 > 0:44:51# Today's the day... #

0:44:51 > 0:44:54Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think you should actually be

0:44:54 > 0:44:56paralysed by your own wedding dress.

0:44:56 > 0:44:59When you see people with bleeding lesions because their dress

0:44:59 > 0:45:03is actually so heavy, I think there's something a bit wrong about that.

0:45:03 > 0:45:05It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life.

0:45:05 > 0:45:09Has to wear trainers. That's a joke, isn't it?

0:45:09 > 0:45:13You give them a large sum of money, and she's wearing trainers.

0:45:13 > 0:45:15She needs to balance,

0:45:15 > 0:45:17and with a heel that big you won't keep your balance.

0:45:17 > 0:45:21If your daughter wants to be a princess, I'll make her a princess.

0:45:25 > 0:45:29Slipping in at 36, there's even more wedding-related irritation.

0:45:31 > 0:45:34Remember this? For most of us, it was a great moment -

0:45:34 > 0:45:37we found out we'd be getting an extra day off work.

0:45:37 > 0:45:39But for artist Jennifer Rubell,

0:45:39 > 0:45:44it was the inspiration to create 2011's most annoying bit of art.

0:45:44 > 0:45:48The chance to play Princess Kate to your very own wax Wills.

0:45:48 > 0:45:51# You make me feel like

0:45:51 > 0:45:54# I'm living a teenage dream

0:45:54 > 0:45:56# The way you turn me on... #

0:45:56 > 0:46:00The thought occurred to me it would be fun to be her going in

0:46:00 > 0:46:06and putting my arm in and being the one with the ring on and I think it's a feeling a lot of women have

0:46:06 > 0:46:11of this fantasy of meeting Prince Charming and he asks you

0:46:11 > 0:46:14to marry him, and you're at the palace making your announcement.

0:46:14 > 0:46:18Unlike you though, Jennifer, marrying William isn't every girl's dream.

0:46:18 > 0:46:23It's assuming you would WANT to feel like a princess, as if you're kind of a six-year old girl that still

0:46:23 > 0:46:26dresses in Woolworths Ladybird collection. It's a bit weird, isn't it?

0:46:26 > 0:46:29The waxwork didn't really look like Prince William.

0:46:29 > 0:46:34If something that looked like that proposed to me, I would have to say no anyway.

0:46:34 > 0:46:37His nose is all funny. I wouldn't want to marry him.

0:46:37 > 0:46:43Jennifer's...creation was on show for four weeks at a private London gallery,

0:46:43 > 0:46:45but not everyone has been convinced of its artistic merits.

0:46:45 > 0:46:49She's called it Engagement. She was going to call it Wills Pops The Question

0:46:49 > 0:46:52but she didn't want to baffle people with layers of metaphor.

0:46:52 > 0:46:55I found it quite annoying that it was called art.

0:46:58 > 0:47:02Does it belong in the art gallery or does it belong at the end of Brighton Pier?

0:47:02 > 0:47:06Part of occupying that moment is how you feel, because you slide your finger through

0:47:06 > 0:47:09and you have this feeling of kind of like, "I'm a princess".

0:47:09 > 0:47:13My only regret is that I didn't get to go in person

0:47:13 > 0:47:16because I've always harboured a somewhat fanciful dream

0:47:16 > 0:47:19of slipping my finger up Kate Middleton's ring.

0:47:19 > 0:47:24If nothing else, Jennifer's tribute to Wills and Kate allowed art lovers and tourists the chance

0:47:24 > 0:47:27to save some serious money on a ticket to Madame Tussauds.

0:47:27 > 0:47:31Oh, my God. Oh, my God, is that Prince William? Oh, my God, I thought it was real!

0:47:31 > 0:47:34I thought it was real for a minute. Ah, my God. Ah, he's fit.

0:47:34 > 0:47:37Can I actually pose with him? Can I pose with Prince William?

0:47:37 > 0:47:41Guess what pose I'm going to do. It's going to be disgusting.

0:47:41 > 0:47:43At 35, what a load of old plankers.

0:47:49 > 0:47:54Originally known as the dead man, in 2011 planking has become

0:47:54 > 0:47:58an internet sensation with plankers all over the world.

0:47:58 > 0:48:01Planking is basically lying down.

0:48:04 > 0:48:07Most people can lie down quite easily,

0:48:07 > 0:48:10but now they've given it a different name, it's suddenly cool.

0:48:10 > 0:48:13# You better believe I'll stand my ground, boy

0:48:13 > 0:48:16# I won't take it lying down... #

0:48:17 > 0:48:19How dull do you have to be

0:48:19 > 0:48:23if posing as a piece of wood

0:48:23 > 0:48:24makes you more exciting?

0:48:25 > 0:48:30To me, planking is the worst extreme sport there is. It's lazy.

0:48:30 > 0:48:33It's basically one of those things that inspires

0:48:33 > 0:48:37the biggest idiots and dickheads in the world

0:48:37 > 0:48:39to think they're doing something crazy.

0:48:39 > 0:48:42"Hey, guess what I did last night? Some serious planking."

0:48:42 > 0:48:44Didn't you lay down? That's all you actually did.

0:48:44 > 0:48:48I did a plank on a post box. That's right. Postman Plank.

0:48:49 > 0:48:51That's me.

0:48:51 > 0:48:53It just came to me like an epiphany.

0:48:53 > 0:48:56I've never, ever planked before but I thought,

0:48:56 > 0:48:58let me make my first plank an epic one.

0:48:58 > 0:49:01And what more epic can you get than a Grand Canyon,

0:49:01 > 0:49:03a big hole in the world? And it got set up.

0:49:03 > 0:49:05I put it on Twitter. I put it on Facebook.

0:49:05 > 0:49:08I got 200 likes and that's what I live for.

0:49:08 > 0:49:09I live for the likes.

0:49:10 > 0:49:12I don't understand it.

0:49:12 > 0:49:15It makes me feel slightly nervous

0:49:15 > 0:49:18because what's no-one thinking of? Health and safety.

0:49:18 > 0:49:21Planking is the start of an episode of Casualty, isn't it?

0:49:21 > 0:49:23Are they thinking about the consequences,

0:49:23 > 0:49:27about my tax money paying for their injuries? They're not, are they?

0:49:29 > 0:49:32Be warned, viewers - planking can be fatal.

0:49:32 > 0:49:35It cost 20-year-old Acton Beale his life when he fell from

0:49:35 > 0:49:41a balcony of a block of flats in Brisbane after he tried to plank on some railings.

0:49:41 > 0:49:44Do it over some sort of soft cushioning.

0:49:44 > 0:49:46Do it over Rihanna.

0:49:50 > 0:49:57Planking has spawned a host of other "ings", all with one thing in common -

0:49:58 > 0:50:00they're annoy-ING.

0:50:00 > 0:50:01# Batman... #

0:50:01 > 0:50:04Batmanning, to me, yeah, there's a little bit of skill there.

0:50:04 > 0:50:07That is the sort of thing that's not high-end,

0:50:07 > 0:50:11it's not David Copperfield, but still there's something to it.

0:50:11 > 0:50:16I don't know where this could go. It literally could go anywhere, couldn't it, you know?

0:50:16 > 0:50:19We've gone on from the planking and moved onto the owling.

0:50:22 > 0:50:26You know what? As far as all the "ings" go - planking, saluting, shagging -

0:50:26 > 0:50:30they're all going to be fun. None of them will ever be as popular as wanking.

0:50:30 > 0:50:34# Batman... #

0:50:34 > 0:50:38Batmanning. Extreme sport.

0:50:38 > 0:50:41Now for some infuriating fruit.

0:50:41 > 0:50:44Hey, Apple. Hey, Apple.

0:50:44 > 0:50:45Hey, Apple.

0:50:45 > 0:50:47Hey, Apple, Apple, hey.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49Hey, Apple.

0:50:49 > 0:50:50What? What? What is it?

0:50:50 > 0:50:53Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Ha-ha-ha!

0:50:53 > 0:50:54Annoying, isn't it?

0:50:54 > 0:50:56Ble, ble, ble, ble.

0:50:56 > 0:50:58# Got my orange crush... #

0:50:58 > 0:51:01This cackling citrus has taken the pith.

0:51:01 > 0:51:05Tediously tango-ing us to new levels of vexation

0:51:05 > 0:51:07via his own YouTube channel.

0:51:07 > 0:51:11- Wow, you really are an apple. - I am not.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14Hey, hey, Apple. Ha-ha-ha!

0:51:14 > 0:51:19Annoying Orange is exactly as it's described. It's extremely annoying.

0:51:19 > 0:51:22OK, gotta take this. Hold on.

0:51:22 > 0:51:24You've got the cob.

0:51:24 > 0:51:28- Ble-ble...- Knock it off!- Ha-ha-ha!

0:51:28 > 0:51:30I had been doing YouTube for a really long time

0:51:30 > 0:51:35and did these short one-off videos and I've done a lot of talking-food videos before as well

0:51:35 > 0:51:38and one night the idea popped in my head.

0:51:38 > 0:51:41Hey, let's do another one of those talking-food videos.

0:51:41 > 0:51:42And I uploaded it.

0:51:42 > 0:51:44- Hey, Apple.- What?- You look fruity.

0:51:44 > 0:51:46Ha-ha-ha!

0:51:46 > 0:51:50A couple of days later, it hit close to a million hits

0:51:50 > 0:51:55and I was like, wow, this is crazy. And from then I just kept getting more and more e-mails from fans

0:51:55 > 0:51:58saying, "Hey, you should make another one". So I made another one.

0:51:58 > 0:52:03That one, in a couple of days, got a million hits and just from there, I just kept getting more and more

0:52:03 > 0:52:05and more fan mail saying, "Make more, make more!"

0:52:05 > 0:52:10For crying out loud, would you stop yabbering for longer than three seconds? I can't hear myself think!

0:52:10 > 0:52:14'But since then, I've been making a new episode every Friday.'

0:52:14 > 0:52:17He has over two million subscribers on YouTube,

0:52:17 > 0:52:229.5 million fans on Facebook and over 250,000 Twitter followers.

0:52:22 > 0:52:24- Yello?- Whassup?- What's up?

0:52:24 > 0:52:27- What's up?- Err...- Aaargh...

0:52:27 > 0:52:28- ARGH!- Errr...

0:52:28 > 0:52:30- Ahhh!- Ahhh!- Ahhh!

0:52:30 > 0:52:32- ARGH!- Ohhh!- Ohh!

0:52:32 > 0:52:34ARGH!

0:52:34 > 0:52:39I have sat through crazy frogs and fuzzy things

0:52:39 > 0:52:42and shouty puppets and S Club 7.

0:52:42 > 0:52:46I am willing to go with The Annoying Orange. So it's good.

0:52:46 > 0:52:48You stick a face on stuff, it's funny.

0:52:48 > 0:52:51- Hey, Apple.- What?- Can you do this?

0:52:51 > 0:52:55- Ne ne ne ne...- No. - ..ne ne ne ne ne!

0:52:55 > 0:52:57I love the whole thing. The ne ne ne ne.

0:52:57 > 0:53:01- Ne ne ne ne ne ne! - Ne ne ne ne...

0:53:01 > 0:53:03- Shut up!- Ha-ha-ha.

0:53:03 > 0:53:06That's what you did when you were four years old and it's still funny.

0:53:06 > 0:53:07Ne ne ne ne.

0:53:07 > 0:53:10OK, you've made your point. Stop it.

0:53:13 > 0:53:16I don't mind animals being able to speak in cartoons,

0:53:16 > 0:53:19but, you know, an orange being able to speak?

0:53:19 > 0:53:24- Ah, God, you are so irritating. - I'm not irritating. I'm an orange.

0:53:24 > 0:53:27- Hey, Apple.- I'm not talking to you.

0:53:27 > 0:53:31He just doesn't stop. He just constantly goes and goes and goes and goes.

0:53:31 > 0:53:35Yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam!

0:53:35 > 0:53:37What?!

0:53:37 > 0:53:39- Knife.- ARGH!

0:53:39 > 0:53:40Whoa!

0:53:40 > 0:53:42I've created a monster.

0:53:43 > 0:53:46Ble, ble, ble, ble...

0:53:46 > 0:53:47Would you please be quiet?!

0:53:49 > 0:53:53I felt thrilled when you guys approached me about Orange being on the list.

0:53:53 > 0:53:57- What? What list?- If there's anyone that Annoying Orange is in competition with

0:53:57 > 0:54:00for most annoying, it's probably Charlie Sheen.

0:54:00 > 0:54:06Hey, hey, Charlie. You can't beat me! You can't even beat an egg. Ha-ha-ha!

0:54:06 > 0:54:11He did a lot in 2011. He had quite the year, and I would like to say that Orange

0:54:11 > 0:54:14was more annoying than Charlie Sheen...

0:54:14 > 0:54:16Hey, I'm not annoying.

0:54:16 > 0:54:21- ..but I don't know if that's possible. - Ble, ble, ble, na, na, na!

0:54:21 > 0:54:25At 33, we're experiencing a sense of deja vu.

0:54:25 > 0:54:31This time last year, one of 2010's most annoying people was this clown.

0:54:31 > 0:54:36Our burning of the Koran is to call the attention that something's wrong.

0:54:36 > 0:54:42US pastor Terry Jones had the delightful idea of burning copies of the Islamic holy book,

0:54:42 > 0:54:45the Koran, as a way of marking the anniversary of 9/11.

0:54:45 > 0:54:49Guess what? This year we've been irritated by yet another potty pastor

0:54:49 > 0:54:52with a fondness for predicting the end of the world.

0:54:52 > 0:54:57According to Harold Camping, a religious broadcaster in California, tomorrow is Judgment Day,

0:54:57 > 0:55:02when true believers are sent to Heaven and the rest of us are left behind to suffer the Apocalypse.

0:55:02 > 0:55:04He's said it before and he did it this year.

0:55:04 > 0:55:07He said that the world was going to end on May 21st.

0:55:07 > 0:55:13There is just no reason in the world, no possibility that it will not happen.

0:55:13 > 0:55:18Harold Camping based his bold prediction on calculations he had made using the Bible.

0:55:18 > 0:55:21Amazingly, many Americans even bought it.

0:55:21 > 0:55:25A lot of people are hardcore believers in Christianity in this country,

0:55:25 > 0:55:29and they will believe whatever a pastor or a priest tells them.

0:55:33 > 0:55:36There were big billboards everywhere, people handing out fliers.

0:55:36 > 0:55:40So it's this huge deal. People went to Times Square on the day

0:55:40 > 0:55:45waiting with their bags packed. Why would you bring anything to Heaven? I'm sure it'll all be there for you.

0:55:45 > 0:55:49# This is the end... #

0:55:49 > 0:55:53With Harold predicting Armageddon at 6pm on May 21st,

0:55:53 > 0:55:57crowds gathered across America to see what would happen.

0:55:57 > 0:56:00CLOCK CHIMES

0:56:00 > 0:56:04The end of the world! Warn the people!

0:56:04 > 0:56:07Guess what? You're not going to believe this. It turned out he was wrong.

0:56:07 > 0:56:10# It's the end of the world as we know it... #

0:56:10 > 0:56:12Judgment day is cancelled! Yay!

0:56:12 > 0:56:14Thank God for that!

0:56:14 > 0:56:18It all left Harold's poor old believers a bit confused though.

0:56:18 > 0:56:23Well, obviously I hadn't understood it correctly, because we're still here.

0:56:23 > 0:56:26So, how do you explain that then, Harold?

0:56:26 > 0:56:30I'm not embarrassed about it. It's just the fact that it was...

0:56:30 > 0:56:32It was...premature.

0:56:32 > 0:56:36Everyone in the world knew that he thought the world was going to end

0:56:36 > 0:56:42and then it didn't, making him the biggest fool of the entire world.

0:56:42 > 0:56:46Obviously, predicting the end of the world must be a tricky business.

0:56:46 > 0:56:50But for Harold, it's a business which is also very lucrative.

0:56:50 > 0:56:53A recent audit of his organisation, Family Radio,

0:56:53 > 0:56:58valued it at 72 million with most of its income coming from donations.

0:56:58 > 0:57:04All the people who follow his church or listen to his radio programme freaked out. So what did they do?

0:57:04 > 0:57:07They took all of their life savings and they donated it to him.

0:57:07 > 0:57:12When the world didn't come to an end, Harold Camping didn't give them the money back.

0:57:12 > 0:57:16Just... "Ah, did I... Did I say today?

0:57:16 > 0:57:19"I meant next year, sorry, sorry. There was my watch.

0:57:19 > 0:57:22"It's... Oh, I need to get a new one.

0:57:22 > 0:57:25"Thankfully, you all donated your money to me so I'm going to get a Rolex."

0:57:25 > 0:57:29The world literally does come crashing around us now

0:57:29 > 0:57:34to the tunes of 2011's most annoying pop and our top five most maddening music.

0:57:38 > 0:57:40# Every day I'm shufflin'... #

0:57:40 > 0:57:44In at number five it's LMFAO, the American duo

0:57:44 > 0:57:49with the amazing pop pedigree, but terrifically annoying tunes.

0:57:49 > 0:57:55What's really depressing about that, is that one of the band members is the son of Berry Gordy.

0:57:55 > 0:57:59Berry Gordy who set up Motown, one of the most influential

0:57:59 > 0:58:02and important record labels of the 20th Century

0:58:02 > 0:58:07and the fact that his son is doing the Party Rock Anthem,

0:58:07 > 0:58:14when he could be making important soul music for the next generation, is just really depressing.

0:58:18 > 0:58:20At four, we're playing a game of spot the difference.

0:58:20 > 0:58:23The Wanted made it big this year.

0:58:23 > 0:58:25# You cast a spell on me Spell on me... #

0:58:25 > 0:58:27There they are, doing their thing,

0:58:27 > 0:58:30doing proper standard boy band videos out on beaches.

0:58:30 > 0:58:34Aren't they pretty? Wonderful. And then we get One Direction...

0:58:34 > 0:58:37# So c-come on

0:58:37 > 0:58:39# You got it wrong... #

0:58:39 > 0:58:42Which seemed to be like a Mini Me version of The Wanted

0:58:42 > 0:58:46with an identical video, just with slightly younger people in it.

0:58:46 > 0:58:48Come on, guys, can't you be a bit more original?

0:58:48 > 0:58:51# I look into your e-e-e-eyes... #

0:58:51 > 0:58:54# La, la-la-la-la La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la, la... #

0:58:54 > 0:58:58At number three, it's J Lo with the dodgiest sample of the year.

0:58:58 > 0:59:02- Anyone for the Lambada? - You can't really have the sample of forbidden dance -

0:59:02 > 0:59:08the Lambada - in your track. There's a reason why it's forbidden.

0:59:08 > 0:59:11That high, whiney vocal. # Da na na na ne... #

0:59:11 > 0:59:15That's just like nails on a chalk board.

0:59:15 > 0:59:18# If you got it Clap your hands on the floor... #

0:59:18 > 0:59:22# Day-O Me say day-ay-O

0:59:22 > 0:59:26# Daylight come and we don't wanna go home... #

0:59:26 > 0:59:31Jason Derulo is next, with a two-for-one offer that made us want to tell him to bog off.

0:59:31 > 0:59:35This song mixes The Banana Boat Song and Robin S's Show Me Love,

0:59:35 > 0:59:38and it's the worst thing you could ever do.

0:59:38 > 0:59:41I think it kills the mash-up for ever. It's a terrible song.

0:59:41 > 0:59:45# Day-O Me say day-ay-o... #

0:59:45 > 0:59:49# My swagger's in check Get on the floor! #

0:59:49 > 0:59:53But not even Jason could match what was undoubtedly the most annoying song of the year.

0:59:53 > 0:59:57# My swagger's in check Get on the floor! #

0:59:57 > 1:00:02Yes, it's Cher Lloyd's Swagger Jagger or should that be Oh, My Darling Clementine?

1:00:02 > 1:00:06# Swagger jagger Swagger jagger

1:00:06 > 1:00:09# You should get some of your own... #

1:00:09 > 1:00:12Cher Lloyd and I are not natural musical bedmates,

1:00:12 > 1:00:16yet she got in my head like an infected worm.

1:00:16 > 1:00:19Swagger Jagger was all I sang for about two weeks.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21You know, I lost friends over that, Cher.

1:00:21 > 1:00:23# You should get some of your own... #

1:00:23 > 1:00:26But isn't the whole point of Swagger Jagger that you're nicking

1:00:26 > 1:00:29someone else's style and looking like someone else?

1:00:29 > 1:00:32She has been dubbed the mini Cheryl Cole,

1:00:32 > 1:00:35so there's a bit of irony going on there.

1:00:35 > 1:00:41But one man we did all want to shout at this year makes it to number 32 on our list.

1:00:41 > 1:00:44It's the highly annoying hairdresser, James Brown.

1:00:44 > 1:00:49- I want to get out. I want to get out.- Go that way.- Oh, shit.

1:00:49 > 1:00:53Usually famous for teasing the tresses of supermodel Kate Moss,

1:00:53 > 1:00:57February 2011 saw James basking in his very own limelight.

1:00:57 > 1:01:01James has got a new series called Great British Hairdresser. Is that you?

1:01:01 > 1:01:05Well, I'm training new hairdressers to become me.

1:01:05 > 1:01:09His growing popularity was almost as mysterious as his language.

1:01:09 > 1:01:12Very soft. Super, super simple Very erratic.

1:01:12 > 1:01:14Lovely, lovely soft texture.

1:01:14 > 1:01:15Quite lumpy.

1:01:15 > 1:01:19But the cue to become the next egomaniac celebrity hairdresser

1:01:19 > 1:01:23dwindled dramatically when James's big mouth went wild

1:01:23 > 1:01:28backstage at this year's BAFTA awards, shocking everyone.

1:01:28 > 1:01:31There must have been a sale on the word nigger that day,

1:01:31 > 1:01:33because he just couldn't let it go.

1:01:33 > 1:01:36So it's like three for five on the nigger. Jesus!

1:01:36 > 1:01:41Surely once is enough. Eight times? Come on, now, that's abuse!

1:01:41 > 1:01:44I tell you what does annoy me, though. Who was counting?

1:01:44 > 1:01:49Who was doing the tally? Like, one, two...

1:01:49 > 1:01:52Instead of stopping it, you was counting? Eight times?

1:01:52 > 1:01:57The man keeping the count, and bearing the brunt of the trash-talking trouble-maker

1:01:57 > 1:02:02was media personality Ben Douglas, who swiftly took his offence to the pages of the Daily Mail.

1:02:02 > 1:02:07But, of course, James dipped into the badly-behaved celebrity excuse box

1:02:07 > 1:02:09and pulled out a classic line.

1:02:09 > 1:02:10Because he was drunk.

1:02:10 > 1:02:13We've all done stupid things when we're drunk,

1:02:13 > 1:02:15but that's no excuse, I'm afraid.

1:02:15 > 1:02:19How do people get so drunk that you lose the boundary

1:02:19 > 1:02:21of such an abhorrent word?

1:02:21 > 1:02:23So to just come out with it in a public place,

1:02:23 > 1:02:25it's just frigging unbelievable.

1:02:25 > 1:02:28I'm surprised he didn't finish the night outside hailing a taxi

1:02:28 > 1:02:30with a white hood and a lit cross going,

1:02:30 > 1:02:33"I'm only having a laugh. Chill out, everyone. Hooray!"

1:02:33 > 1:02:37In a world of the annoying celebrity, not all press is good.

1:02:37 > 1:02:41Hungover apologies in the press try to repair the damage but left

1:02:41 > 1:02:44our celebrity hairdresser with a serious case of hair of the dog.

1:02:44 > 1:02:47The one thing in James Brown's favour is the fact that he is friends with,

1:02:47 > 1:02:52and the hairdresser to, Kate Moss, and I think that once you've got golden Kate on your arm,

1:02:52 > 1:02:57you'll always be OK. James Brown will bounce back as long as Kate still has him on speed dial.

1:02:57 > 1:03:02He claims to be able to read Kate Moss's mind, he knows her so well.

1:03:02 > 1:03:08So, this guy has mindreading ability. James, what am I thinking?

1:03:08 > 1:03:12At 31, another bigmouth strikes again.

1:03:12 > 1:03:16# Stop me, oh Oh, oh, stop me... #

1:03:16 > 1:03:20Morrissey was up to his usual outspoken tricks in July this year,

1:03:20 > 1:03:25with his comments following the massacre of 97 young Norwegians on Utoya Island by Anders Breivik.

1:03:25 > 1:03:29Whilst performing in Warsaw just a few days after the shooting,

1:03:29 > 1:03:34animal lover Moz introduced old Smiths song Meat Is Murder with the following.

1:03:34 > 1:03:39We all live in a murderer's world, as the events in Norway have shown

1:03:39 > 1:03:42with 97 dead.

1:03:42 > 1:03:49Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.

1:03:50 > 1:03:55Morrissey trying to equate the eating of chickens

1:03:55 > 1:04:02and cows to the callous murder of 97 young people is possibly

1:04:02 > 1:04:05one of the most annoying statements of the year.

1:04:05 > 1:04:10Honestly, you're more worried about chickens than you are about people.

1:04:10 > 1:04:13You need to kind of adjust yourself.

1:04:13 > 1:04:16# Who said I'd lied to her? #

1:04:16 > 1:04:19Oh, dear, why did you say that, Moz?

1:04:19 > 1:04:24I suppose, in his old age, he's just getting more and more bitter.

1:04:24 > 1:04:27Just be yourself, and that's all I ever do.

1:04:27 > 1:04:30Morrissey loves animals, and we all know that,

1:04:30 > 1:04:35but sometimes maybe he should think a little of people's feelings.

1:04:37 > 1:04:40# Stop me, oh Oh, oh, stop me... #

1:04:40 > 1:04:42I can't imagine there were people in Norway going,

1:04:42 > 1:04:45"Oh, my gosh, this is awful! But it could be worse -

1:04:45 > 1:04:47"We could be having a bargain bucket right now."

1:04:47 > 1:04:51# Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before... #

1:04:51 > 1:04:53If you listen to Morrissey long enough,

1:04:53 > 1:04:55it will make you want to take up eating meat.

1:04:55 > 1:04:58He's got it all wrong.

1:04:58 > 1:05:02As soon as he said it, I had a burger just to get on his tits.

1:05:06 > 1:05:09Listen, I get it, you know what I mean?

1:05:09 > 1:05:13Let's look after the tiny little creatures, but you can see chickens

1:05:13 > 1:05:19and cows all over the world going, "Morrissey, shut up. We'll just speak for ourselves, thanks."

1:05:20 > 1:05:24Up next, a bothersome bride.

1:05:24 > 1:05:28# Hey, baby I think I wanna marry you... #

1:05:28 > 1:05:33We all love a good wedding, and there have been loads this year -

1:05:33 > 1:05:37Kate and Wills, Kate and Jamie, Kim and...what's his name?

1:05:37 > 1:05:41But excessive spending on the big day tends to get us a bit wound up

1:05:41 > 1:05:48and this blushing bride got us annoyed by splashing out on enough wedding dresses for all of them.

1:05:48 > 1:05:53After her marriage to Joe Glass, Helene Manca's compulsive wedding dress purchase disorder

1:05:53 > 1:05:57hit the headlines when it was revealed

1:05:57 > 1:06:01that she had spent £20,000 buying 18 different dresses for the ceremony.

1:06:01 > 1:06:05I was surprised that people would be interested in the first place,

1:06:05 > 1:06:08but I was even more surprised that people would have such strong opinion

1:06:08 > 1:06:11about something that, to me, was just some fun.

1:06:11 > 1:06:1520 grand? That's the average cost of a wedding

1:06:15 > 1:06:20and she spent it just on being completely self-involved.

1:06:20 > 1:06:24A lot of women have a specific idea, but I was kind of the opposite.

1:06:24 > 1:06:26I just liked many, many, many.

1:06:26 > 1:06:31# I wish I knew what dress to wear... #

1:06:31 > 1:06:34In France, a lot of people change for the evening,

1:06:34 > 1:06:39so I thought, you know, two is a reasonable number.

1:06:39 > 1:06:43But then it carried on, and the more I tried on the more I thought

1:06:43 > 1:06:47that it was the one I had to wear, and I ended up buying quite a few.

1:06:47 > 1:06:53Yes, that's 18, actually, Helene, but you didn't even wear half of them.

1:06:53 > 1:06:56Helene bought 18 dresses, wore nine on the day.

1:06:56 > 1:06:59I'm trying to settle on ONE for my big day.

1:07:01 > 1:07:03I did try to narrow things down,

1:07:03 > 1:07:05which is why I ended up only wearing nine.

1:07:05 > 1:07:10# Cos we are living in a material world

1:07:10 > 1:07:13# And I am a material girl... #

1:07:13 > 1:07:15Now £20,000 is a lot of wedding wonga,

1:07:15 > 1:07:18so, did the nuptial nine deliver their matrimonial money's worth?

1:07:18 > 1:07:21The main one was obviously the ceremony one.

1:07:21 > 1:07:23Cost - £3,200.

1:07:23 > 1:07:26Time worn - 90 minutes.

1:07:26 > 1:07:30Then there was the one when I arrived at the reception.

1:07:30 > 1:07:35Then there was one for the cocktail and one for the dinner.

1:07:35 > 1:07:39Then there was one for the speeches and one for the cutting of the cake.

1:07:39 > 1:07:42Then one for the first dance.

1:07:42 > 1:07:44And then one for the party at the end.

1:07:44 > 1:07:46And then one for right at the end,

1:07:46 > 1:07:50when the party was even more swinging.

1:07:50 > 1:07:53The dresses that she wore were quite complicated.

1:07:53 > 1:07:56They're not the kind of thing you can slip into yourself.

1:07:56 > 1:07:59So, she had seven bridesmaids or something,

1:07:59 > 1:08:02so a large amount of the wedding party spent most of their time

1:08:02 > 1:08:07in a toilet cubicle where you're going, "Oh, get it on me. Zip it up, zip it up!"

1:08:07 > 1:08:09It must be quite annoying, being a guest at the wedding -

1:08:09 > 1:08:12you can't really relax, you can't get rid of your camera

1:08:12 > 1:08:15because you've got to keep it on you to get a shot of the next dress.

1:08:15 > 1:08:20You can't drink too much cos you've to remember each dress. It's a bit selfish, really, Helene.

1:08:20 > 1:08:22Hello! It's not all about you. There's a groom there.

1:08:22 > 1:08:25You're exchanging vows. It's meant to be about the day.

1:08:25 > 1:08:26# Glamorous... #

1:08:26 > 1:08:31Joe was actually really supportive and he thought it was a really fun idea

1:08:31 > 1:08:33and he just wanted me to be happy and do whatever.

1:08:33 > 1:08:35# Those wedding bells... #

1:08:35 > 1:08:39Apparently, her husband changed his degree

1:08:39 > 1:08:43and he's now studying finance, and I think he's going to need it.

1:08:43 > 1:08:46- # Wedding bells - Wedding bells

1:08:46 > 1:08:49# Those wedding bells... #

1:08:49 > 1:08:53At number 29, it's a little something for the kids.

1:08:54 > 1:08:592011 saw the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

1:08:59 > 1:09:03There were plenty of fitting tributes throughout the world

1:09:03 > 1:09:07including memorial services in both New York and London.

1:09:07 > 1:09:10But then, there was also this.

1:09:10 > 1:09:13We Shall Never Forget 9/11 is a colouring book

1:09:13 > 1:09:16aimed at children aged up to 11.

1:09:16 > 1:09:18The book features a number of crayon-friendly images

1:09:18 > 1:09:22associated either with the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre

1:09:22 > 1:09:25in 2001, or the subsequent US hunt for Osama Bin Laden.

1:09:25 > 1:09:27I'm all for remembering history

1:09:27 > 1:09:31and helping children to engage with history in a creative way,

1:09:31 > 1:09:34but there is a taste and decency line that's clearly been breached

1:09:34 > 1:09:38by having young children colour in the orange flames of doom.

1:09:38 > 1:09:41Most annoying to me is that you would even take an event like that

1:09:41 > 1:09:44and try to bring it down to a childlike level.

1:09:44 > 1:09:47"OK, here you go, kids, this is what happened.

1:09:47 > 1:09:50"You see that guy in the turban? He's bad."

1:09:50 > 1:09:52That's just a horrible, horrible thing to do.

1:09:52 > 1:09:55It's not a book about acceptance,

1:09:55 > 1:09:58it's a book about singling out different cultures

1:09:58 > 1:10:01and that's a very sad thing to be teaching children.

1:10:01 > 1:10:06Despite its critics, the publisher of the book, Wayne Bell, has argued it has no agenda

1:10:06 > 1:10:10and is simply a factual depiction of the events surrounding 9/11.

1:10:10 > 1:10:12There's no statement attached to this book.

1:10:12 > 1:10:14This book is based on market research.

1:10:14 > 1:10:17It's based on what people tell us that they're looking for.

1:10:17 > 1:10:20The book has become a big hit for Wayne.

1:10:20 > 1:10:23It's the fastest selling his company has ever published

1:10:23 > 1:10:26and has travelled to 157 countries around the world.

1:10:26 > 1:10:30But not everyone is convinced how appropriate it is for kids.

1:10:32 > 1:10:34This is the best picture.

1:10:34 > 1:10:38Not only is it a man holding the gun on Osama and his wife,

1:10:38 > 1:10:40but also, the bullet is on the way.

1:10:40 > 1:10:43You don't even have to colour in the bullet.

1:10:43 > 1:10:47It's there, it's midway, it's black and it's full of death.

1:10:47 > 1:10:49The most annoying thing about this book is that

1:10:49 > 1:10:52George Bush has been drawn with a bit of intelligence

1:10:52 > 1:10:56and integrity, which is wholly inaccurate.

1:10:56 > 1:10:58However, bonus,

1:10:58 > 1:11:02you can just write "knob" on his forehead, wherever you want.

1:11:02 > 1:11:05It's up there with the Titanic ice-cube maker

1:11:05 > 1:11:07and the Hiroshima microwave oven.

1:11:07 > 1:11:09That's how tasteless this is.

1:11:09 > 1:11:12Revealing some true colours at 28,

1:11:12 > 1:11:15we've got some very dodgy commentators.

1:11:15 > 1:11:18# Flintstones Meet the Flintstones... #

1:11:18 > 1:11:22It might have been the Ice Age that killed off the Pterodactyl and T-Rex, but it was sexist

1:11:22 > 1:11:28and outdated attitudes that saw the extinction of our next annoying duo.

1:11:28 > 1:11:31Gray and Keys simply didn't realise they were dinosaurs.

1:11:31 > 1:11:35Sky Sports front men, Richard Keys and Andy Gray,

1:11:35 > 1:11:38actually dated not from pre-history but from an era

1:11:38 > 1:11:42when real men were in the pub and a woman's place was in the kitchen.

1:11:42 > 1:11:46Having dared to abandon the washing up, referee's assistant Sian Massey

1:11:46 > 1:11:51got the full misogynist treatment as Sky Sports' archaic analysts

1:11:51 > 1:11:55prepared for live coverage of Wolves v Liverpool in the Premier League.

1:11:55 > 1:11:59Well, somebody better get down there and explain offside to her.

1:11:59 > 1:12:04Yeah, I know. Can you believe that? Female linesmen, eh?

1:12:04 > 1:12:07That's exactly what I said. Women don't know the offside rule.

1:12:07 > 1:12:09Of course they don't.

1:12:09 > 1:12:12Women are brain surgeons, women are astronauts,

1:12:12 > 1:12:16yet for some reason the offside rule is apparently like kryptonite to us,

1:12:16 > 1:12:21that when you explain quite simply the rules of a GAME to us, we're unable to understand it.

1:12:21 > 1:12:24In the match, she actually got it bang on.

1:12:24 > 1:12:27It was a really contentious decision, and she nailed it

1:12:27 > 1:12:30better than most other linespeople that I've ever seen.

1:12:30 > 1:12:34Waldorf and Statler, two blokes from the Muppets, very much like that.

1:12:34 > 1:12:37- What do you think of it so far? - Oh, rubbish, bloody women.

1:12:37 > 1:12:40- Don't know what offside is. - I- don't know what offside is.

1:12:40 > 1:12:43West Ham chief Karren Brady was next in the firing line

1:12:43 > 1:12:48as their off-air chat was recorded and then MYSTERIOUSLY leaked to the media.

1:12:48 > 1:12:52Did you see charming Karren Brady this morning, on about sexism?

1:12:52 > 1:12:54Yeah, do me a favour, love.

1:12:54 > 1:12:59Now, Karren Brady, when I've seen her on The Apprentice, she's got the eyes of a shark.

1:12:59 > 1:13:02I think that woman could kill you without touching you

1:13:02 > 1:13:06and to pick her, I think, wasn't the best choice of person

1:13:06 > 1:13:09because I think she could really give you a doing.

1:13:09 > 1:13:15Today, Andy Gray wasn't at home but his fiancee was.

1:13:15 > 1:13:18He's wanted to apologise for the last few days,

1:13:18 > 1:13:20desperately wanted to apologise.

1:13:21 > 1:13:25Sky bosses, unimpressed by Andy getting "her indoors"

1:13:25 > 1:13:28to apologise for him, showed Gray the red card

1:13:28 > 1:13:33whilst his sexist sidekick tried his best to avoid the subs bench.

1:13:33 > 1:13:39I'm on my way into London now, to start apologising to the people that I need to.

1:13:39 > 1:13:44For the immediate, I would just like to say how deeply sorry I am

1:13:44 > 1:13:49for the part I have played in causing this furore.

1:13:49 > 1:13:53Interviewed on Talk Sport, Keys revealed he'd apologised to Sian Massey

1:13:53 > 1:13:55and tried to call Karren Brady too.

1:13:55 > 1:13:58I remember Richard Keys saying,

1:13:58 > 1:14:01"Oh, I can't believe Karren Brady hasn't returned my call.

1:14:01 > 1:14:03"I was trying to get in touch with her."

1:14:03 > 1:14:06Under his breath, he's muttering the words, "typical woman."

1:14:06 > 1:14:08Do you know what I mean? In your own time, love.

1:14:08 > 1:14:10# Boys will be boys... #

1:14:10 > 1:14:14Keys resigned, and the internet was suddenly awash with lewd clips.

1:14:14 > 1:14:20The first of which involved Andy Gray suggestively inviting Sky co-presenter, Charlotte Jackson,

1:14:20 > 1:14:23to stick a radio mic down his trousers.

1:14:23 > 1:14:26Asking a lady to tuck in your mic

1:14:26 > 1:14:31and pointing downwards is not a good idea, not a good idea.

1:14:31 > 1:14:34# Boys will be boys... #

1:14:34 > 1:14:41Either Sky were waiting to give them the push or it was indeed an international cabal of feminazis

1:14:41 > 1:14:45who had been waiting for some time to get rid of Richard and Andy.

1:14:45 > 1:14:48I'm not saying which one is correct, all I am saying is that

1:14:48 > 1:14:53there are quite a lot of women in this country who know the true story.

1:14:56 > 1:15:01More annoying than Andy and Richard, we're pretty sure this next lot would get a few votes.

1:15:01 > 1:15:06Yes, we're talking politicians. Guaranteed to irritate us and this year was no exception.

1:15:06 > 1:15:10Here's our top three political cock-ups of 2011.

1:15:11 > 1:15:17In third place is Labour's very own Hazel Blears who blurted out a real blunder during the UK riots.

1:15:17 > 1:15:21In an interview with Sky News, Hazel forgot why the kids weren't in school...

1:15:21 > 1:15:23during the summer holidays.

1:15:23 > 1:15:27I think we also - not right now, but later on - we need to think

1:15:27 > 1:15:30about some of our young people and why are they not in school?

1:15:30 > 1:15:33I don't know if she was suffering from memory loss

1:15:33 > 1:15:34or just a loss of perspective -

1:15:34 > 1:15:36whether they should be in school or not,

1:15:36 > 1:15:38they shouldn't be throwing rocks through windows.

1:15:38 > 1:15:44At number two is George Osborne. The Chancellor of the Exchequer made a goofy gaff at the GQ Awards

1:15:44 > 1:15:47when he picked up a gong. Attempting to crack one out,

1:15:47 > 1:15:50George remarked the politics pages of the magazine were the only ones

1:15:50 > 1:15:54not usually stuck together by readers' bodily fluids.

1:15:54 > 1:15:57George Osborne really let himself down by making that classic mistake

1:15:57 > 1:16:00of trying to be funny as a politician.

1:16:00 > 1:16:03If he was an open spot at a comedy club, he'd have been booed off.

1:16:03 > 1:16:06Fundamentally, he should be looking at the economy

1:16:06 > 1:16:08and not thinking about wank jokes.

1:16:08 > 1:16:12You could see people going, "What the...? Get off!"

1:16:14 > 1:16:18Joint winners at number one are gruesome twosome Cameron and Clegg.

1:16:18 > 1:16:20Earlier this year, Dave and Nick were poised

1:16:20 > 1:16:23for the perfect photo opp at Guy's Hospital.

1:16:23 > 1:16:24But there was a problem.

1:16:24 > 1:16:28The coalition crew hadn't bothered to follow strict hospital hygiene standards.

1:16:28 > 1:16:33Enter outraged senior surgeon David Nunn to give them a roasting.

1:16:35 > 1:16:39Sorry, just a minute. Excuse me. I am the senior orthopaedic surgeon in this department.

1:16:39 > 1:16:41Why are we all told to walk around like this?

1:16:41 > 1:16:44They looked flustered. "Oh, what do we do here?

1:16:44 > 1:16:47"We're supposed to look great with the patients." It was a sweet moment.

1:16:47 > 1:16:49Can you come and talk to me about it?

1:16:49 > 1:16:53Cameron was trying to smooth it all over and the guy just went,

1:16:53 > 1:16:55"No, get out."

1:16:56 > 1:17:00I agree. Thanks. Because we're all taking our ties off.

1:17:00 > 1:17:04They got lobbed out by the doctor because they were unhygienic. Good.

1:17:04 > 1:17:06I'm not having it. Out.

1:17:06 > 1:17:10It's good they were told off for that, cos there's no telling where Clegg's fingers has been.

1:17:10 > 1:17:12HE COUGHS

1:17:15 > 1:17:18Returning to our top 50.

1:17:18 > 1:17:21Parading in at 27 are some serious sluts.

1:17:21 > 1:17:23# Hit me, go! Get your freak on... #

1:17:23 > 1:17:28Back in January 2011, a Toronto policeman caused outrage in Canada

1:17:28 > 1:17:32when his un-PC advice to a group of female students made headline news.

1:17:32 > 1:17:39His suggestion that dressing like a slut increased a woman's chances of attack caused a storm of protest.

1:17:39 > 1:17:43It's not acceptable, and transfers the blame and responsibility

1:17:43 > 1:17:48for such a vicious crime from the person that it should fall squarely on, which is the perpetrator.

1:17:48 > 1:17:52It's a really outdated idea that a woman who dresses

1:17:52 > 1:17:55in a particular way is asking to be raped or attacked

1:17:55 > 1:17:58or something, and that a police officer

1:17:58 > 1:18:03would actually perpetuate this stupid myth is just insane.

1:18:03 > 1:18:09In response to the outcry, the women of Toronto organised a public protest

1:18:09 > 1:18:12and provocatively named it the SlutWalk.

1:18:12 > 1:18:17For me and, I think for a number of other people, it's an attempt to reclaim the word "slut" itself

1:18:17 > 1:18:20because once you reclaim it, you take the power from it.

1:18:20 > 1:18:22# I've got the power! #

1:18:22 > 1:18:26I'm all for women's lib. I'm all for, just because I'm flashing my nipple

1:18:26 > 1:18:29in your face doesn't mean you have to lick it.

1:18:29 > 1:18:31The protest caught the world's attention

1:18:31 > 1:18:35and soon, communities across the globe wanted to join in.

1:18:35 > 1:18:39It's the latest in a series of international demonstrations called SlutWalks.

1:18:39 > 1:18:43We found out on the internet and we were like, "We wish this was happening in the States.

1:18:43 > 1:18:47"We wish we could do this", and then we kind of just decided to do it.

1:18:47 > 1:18:50One policeman in Canada says, "Don't dress like a slut

1:18:50 > 1:18:55"because then you'll get attacked and the blame will all be on you."

1:18:55 > 1:19:01From that one comment, across the world, women went out and marched.

1:19:01 > 1:19:03CHANTING: Two! Four! Six! Eight!

1:19:03 > 1:19:08There was actually one in Ireland, but they dressed up in anoraks.

1:19:08 > 1:19:10It was raining, let's give them that, but...

1:19:10 > 1:19:13"Oh, look, I have my anorak open. That's slutty enough for me."

1:19:13 > 1:19:16However we dress, wherever we go...

1:19:16 > 1:19:21The SlutWalk is going to be the women's pride contingency of like the gay pride parades.

1:19:21 > 1:19:27It's going to be the SlutWalk women's pride, every single city across the world.

1:19:27 > 1:19:30I really hope the SlutWalk becomes a national holiday.

1:19:30 > 1:19:34CHANTING

1:19:34 > 1:19:38At 26, it's little miss perfect.

1:19:40 > 1:19:43This has been the year of Gwyneth Paltrow.

1:19:43 > 1:19:47Everywhere you look, Gwyneth is there - her website,

1:19:47 > 1:19:48her appearances on Glee,

1:19:48 > 1:19:51her films - she is everywhere!

1:19:51 > 1:19:54MUSIC: "Forget You" by Gwyneth Paltrow

1:19:54 > 1:19:58She looks unbelievable. The woman has the best legs in Hollywood.

1:19:58 > 1:20:01All these women everywhere are just like, "We need to look like her!

1:20:01 > 1:20:03"She looks amazing. Her skin's amazing!"

1:20:03 > 1:20:06And it all just gets quite overwhelming.

1:20:06 > 1:20:11Gwyneth Paltrow is an actress and yet she has been doing everything OTHER than that right in our faces.

1:20:11 > 1:20:14I can sing, and look at my website.

1:20:14 > 1:20:17I'll tell you how to be the perfect mother, role model and housewife.

1:20:17 > 1:20:22She's kind of treating us like she thinks we think she's normal.

1:20:22 > 1:20:24Literally, this woman is unbelievable.

1:20:24 > 1:20:27If being an impossibly glamorous A-lister

1:20:27 > 1:20:29and an amazing mum isn't annoying enough,

1:20:29 > 1:20:332011 was also the year that Gwyneth revealed she can cook too.

1:20:33 > 1:20:37I think it's really important, as I said, to make home-made food,

1:20:37 > 1:20:41just the experience of that, you know, making food for your kids and people that you love.

1:20:41 > 1:20:44With her book Notes From My Kitchen,

1:20:44 > 1:20:47she lifted the lid on what she and that bloke from Coldplay eat

1:20:47 > 1:20:50when they're not on their latest celebrity fad diets.

1:20:50 > 1:20:53Gwyneth Paltrow's cookery book is a work of art,

1:20:53 > 1:20:55if it was a work of satire.

1:20:55 > 1:20:57She doesn't look like she eats.

1:20:57 > 1:21:00I'm sorry, but it must be

1:21:00 > 1:21:04a very thin volume, really. Ah, it's just, er...

1:21:04 > 1:21:06water.

1:21:06 > 1:21:08There's a burger in there.

1:21:08 > 1:21:11It's not just a burger, it's a cheese-stuffed burger.

1:21:11 > 1:21:16Now, I've figured it out. She doesn't eat any of the food that's in her book, she licks it.

1:21:16 > 1:21:19But it wasn't just the food that was the problem.

1:21:19 > 1:21:23It was also the superstar cost of making it.

1:21:23 > 1:21:28What's most annoying is the obvious lack of being in touch

1:21:28 > 1:21:31with the reality the rest of us are living in.

1:21:31 > 1:21:36Her brownie recipe actually costs about £45 to make.

1:21:36 > 1:21:41Now, if you think 45 quid for some brownies sounds like a lot,

1:21:41 > 1:21:44we actually costed the ingredients Gwyneth recommends.

1:21:44 > 1:21:50By the time you've bought items like imported Vermont maple syrup, brown rice syrup and high-quality cocoa,

1:21:50 > 1:21:53the total cost actually came to nearer £50.

1:21:53 > 1:21:57Best of all, though, are Gwyneth's shopping tips.

1:21:57 > 1:22:00One point she had in her cookbook that I thought was extraordinary -

1:22:00 > 1:22:03the idea that you should take your kids to the supermarket

1:22:03 > 1:22:05and give them their own trolley.

1:22:05 > 1:22:09It would be chaos in the supermarkets of Britain.

1:22:09 > 1:22:13They say Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't live in the real world. I've no idea where they get that.

1:22:16 > 1:22:18Round 25.

1:22:18 > 1:22:23Our next annoyer certainly proved anything BUT a knockout in 2011.

1:22:23 > 1:22:27I wanted to support him so much because he's from South London,

1:22:27 > 1:22:28I'm from South London.

1:22:28 > 1:22:32I was like, "Yes, finally someone we could cheer on and champion!"

1:22:34 > 1:22:38Having been crowned WBA Champion in 2009,

1:22:38 > 1:22:41preening pugilist David Haye sought to unify the various

1:22:41 > 1:22:45world heavyweight titles by taking on and beating Wladimir Klitschko,

1:22:45 > 1:22:49the younger of the gigantic Klitschko brothers from Kazakhstan.

1:22:50 > 1:22:54But David's preparations for the fight seemed a little unusual.

1:22:54 > 1:22:57CHRIS MOYLES: Boxing royalty - David Haye! Whoa!

1:22:57 > 1:22:59Whoo-whoo-whoo!

1:22:59 > 1:23:02They mainly seemed to involve chat-show sofas.

1:23:02 > 1:23:04'He just absolutely lost the plot.'

1:23:04 > 1:23:08I think he was on Alan Carr, he was on Graham Norton,

1:23:08 > 1:23:13he was giving it absolutely loads. His sportsmanship went completely out the window.

1:23:13 > 1:23:17In the build-up to the match he just...kept on talking.

1:23:17 > 1:23:20He just kept on going on and on and on.

1:23:20 > 1:23:22..championship in Germany...

1:23:22 > 1:23:25..we'll remember the fight itself. I've gone over to someone's hotel...

1:23:25 > 1:23:28I will knock out Wladimir Klitschko.

1:23:28 > 1:23:31# You only get one shot So make it count... #

1:23:31 > 1:23:36No punches were pulled when it came to dissing his opponent, who he even compared to Borat.

1:23:36 > 1:23:39Ohh, it's nice.

1:23:39 > 1:23:44It's definitely below the belt line, and it's the wrong attitude.

1:23:44 > 1:23:47# You only get one shot So make it count... #

1:23:47 > 1:23:50David Haye's promotional gimmicks were just...

1:23:50 > 1:23:53they were just so disrespectful, so childish.

1:23:53 > 1:23:57Yes, this is a good picture of me with Wladimir

1:23:57 > 1:24:00and Vitali Klitschko's severed heads.

1:24:00 > 1:24:04# There's only one David Haye. #

1:24:04 > 1:24:0810,000 British fans travelled out to Hamburg with high hopes

1:24:08 > 1:24:10of seeing The Hayemaker triumph.

1:24:10 > 1:24:14At the end of the day, David Haye's bark was way worse than his bite.

1:24:14 > 1:24:18Despite all the hype, Haye proved more chump than champ

1:24:18 > 1:24:21with Klitschko winning on points after 12 rounds.

1:24:23 > 1:24:26I'm sure there's been many a boxer that have fought till

1:24:26 > 1:24:29the bitter end with broken arms, broken ribs,

1:24:29 > 1:24:33but he, his little toe ruined it for him.

1:24:33 > 1:24:37# Be a star But who's laughing now?

1:24:37 > 1:24:40# Who's laughing now? #

1:24:40 > 1:24:43I hate it when boxers make excuses after fights. It makes me sick.

1:24:43 > 1:24:48I broke my toe three weeks ago and there was no way I was going to pull out of this fight.

1:24:48 > 1:24:51He broke his toe? Really?

1:24:51 > 1:24:54Yeah, because of course when you're pushing off for a punch,

1:24:54 > 1:25:00it all comes from the toe - not from the fists, the waist or the rest of the body, it's all in that toe.

1:25:00 > 1:25:04And in case we doubted that David had a sore toe, he walked around for the next month

1:25:04 > 1:25:09with open-toe sandals, just so you could see. "Hey, look at my toe. It's really sore."

1:25:11 > 1:25:14Afterwards, though, the Klitschkos got their revenge.

1:25:14 > 1:25:17They had a T-shirt made with a severed toe just to wind him up,

1:25:17 > 1:25:20because that was the real reason that David lost the fight.

1:25:23 > 1:25:25SHE YAWNS

1:25:25 > 1:25:27That's your lot for now.

1:25:27 > 1:25:31But the good news is, we've still got plenty more where that came from.

1:25:31 > 1:25:33Kim Kardashian does it again.

1:25:33 > 1:25:35Join us next time,

1:25:35 > 1:25:38as we put the year's biggest irritants firmly in place.

1:25:38 > 1:25:41You're trying too hard! It's not nice!

1:25:41 > 1:25:42There'll be an Aussie boy...

1:25:42 > 1:25:46I can walk around with a T-shirt that says, "Call my agent." I'm annoying!

1:25:46 > 1:25:48..and a Geordie girl...

1:25:48 > 1:25:50You did it first!

1:25:50 > 1:25:54I'm furious! I'm just... shaking with rage.

1:25:54 > 1:25:59- ..some super-injunctions... - Honestly, I really have no idea. Do YOU know?

1:25:59 > 1:26:01..and superstar meltdowns.

1:26:01 > 1:26:03It's nothing less than huge.

1:26:03 > 1:26:05Some dumb footballers...

1:26:05 > 1:26:07That's Mario. He's a confused guy!

1:26:07 > 1:26:09..and even dumber looters.

1:26:09 > 1:26:12There is nothing gangster about Basmati rice.

1:26:12 > 1:26:15We've got two terrible twins...

1:26:15 > 1:26:17J to the E to the D to the WARD, Planet Jedward!

1:26:17 > 1:26:20..and one very pesky pie man...

1:26:20 > 1:26:25I was the guy who threw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face.

1:26:25 > 1:26:30..as we continue to count down the most annoying people of 2011.

1:26:30 > 1:26:33We're going to have a good time, whatever happens.

1:26:46 > 1:26:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:26:49 > 1:26:52E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk