Episode 2

0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language and adult humour.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Hello, everybody.

0:00:28 > 0:00:34'Welcome to tonight's collection of the most annoying people of 2011.'

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Hi, are you all right?

0:00:36 > 0:00:38We're going to have a good time whatever happens.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41'A year where celebrities have let their maddening moments

0:00:41 > 0:00:42hit epic new heights.'

0:00:42 > 0:00:45Celebrities are always annoying people.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47THEY SCREAM

0:00:47 > 0:00:50'Over the past 12 months, we've been drawing up a hit list

0:00:50 > 0:00:53'of the most annoying people from around the globe.'

0:00:53 > 0:00:55This beautiful flower for you.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57The guy is lucky Madonna didn't

0:00:57 > 0:00:59take that hydrangea and slap him across the face.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02- 'Pop stars.'- You're trying too hard. It's not nice.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05- 'Politicians.' - I'll never forgive him.

0:01:05 > 0:01:06I'm not returning his calls at all.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08'Phone hackers.'

0:01:08 > 0:01:11Tonight's staff have been putting the finishing touches

0:01:11 > 0:01:15to the last edition of the News Of The World because of the phone-hacking allegations.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18'All the ones that have done their best to

0:01:18 > 0:01:20rattle our cages and trouble our Twitter.'

0:01:20 > 0:01:22What do you think of all this?

0:01:22 > 0:01:24It's nothing less than huge.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27'We've got superstar meltdowns.'

0:01:27 > 0:01:31All he could talk about was hookers, drugs, money. He's really lost.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33'Super injunctions.'

0:01:33 > 0:01:35How about you don't do shit?

0:01:35 > 0:01:37How about you just behave?

0:01:37 > 0:01:38'And some super enhanced bodies.'

0:01:38 > 0:01:42I can walk around with a T-shirt that says,

0:01:42 > 0:01:44"Call my agent." I'm annoying.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47'2011 has also been the year of the unexpected.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50'Looters and rioters shattered our big cities.'

0:01:50 > 0:01:52This is going to carry on for days.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55'This was the year a famous fashionista fell from grace.'

0:01:55 > 0:01:58I'm a God, anti-semitism is so hot right now.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01'But no-one could have predicted that

0:02:01 > 0:02:04'a bridesmaid's derriere would steal the limelight from a Royal bride.'

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Pippa's bum just took over the nation.

0:02:07 > 0:02:12'So sit back and vent with vehemence...as we continue

0:02:12 > 0:02:16'our trip through the most annoying people of 2011.'

0:02:18 > 0:02:22At 24, it's our very own Search for a Star.

0:02:22 > 0:02:26We're on the lookout for someone with the annoying factor.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29Could this man have what it takes?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31We're going to have a good time whatever happens. I hope.

0:02:31 > 0:02:37'Well, after the sort of year he had in 2011 it's going to be 1,000 % yes, from us.'

0:02:38 > 0:02:41This is a man who has £200,000,000 in the bank

0:02:41 > 0:02:44and yet he still cuts his hair with a strimmer.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46He is not to be trusted.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Can you have any likeability when your career

0:02:49 > 0:02:51is pretty much to break people's dreams?

0:02:51 > 0:02:53There was a headline in the New York Post -

0:02:53 > 0:02:54"Even God hates Simon Cowell."

0:02:54 > 0:02:58Simon Cowell got his year off to an annoying start

0:02:58 > 0:03:01when he announced that he was turning his back on

0:03:01 > 0:03:02the X Factor here in the UK.

0:03:02 > 0:03:06Apparently, launching the US version of the show was more important.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Thanks for nothing, Simon.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13His biggest fanbase! He's BELOVED in the UK. He left. He left.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Not only did Cowell quit his place on the UK judging panel,

0:03:16 > 0:03:20he also added insult to injury by taking our favourite

0:03:20 > 0:03:22X Factor judge, Cheryl Cole, with him.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25I just think there's going to be some really great talent here

0:03:25 > 0:03:27and I'm excited to get my teeth into it.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31Poor Cheryl barely had time to have her first nibble

0:03:31 > 0:03:33before Cowell decided she was the one lacking bite

0:03:33 > 0:03:37and unceremoniously dumped her from her new job.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Cheryl Cole from South Shields, love her.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41She's the best person in the world,

0:03:41 > 0:03:44and I hated the way he treated Cheryl Cole.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49For anyone annoyed by his treatment of Chezza,

0:03:49 > 0:03:52the good news was that karma came back and bit Simon on the backside.

0:03:52 > 0:03:57Both versions of the X Factor recorded poor ratings this year.

0:03:57 > 0:04:01It's a good job he had other shows like Red Or Black to fall back on(!)

0:04:01 > 0:04:05Simon Cowell's probably had his worst year in the last ten years,

0:04:05 > 0:04:07and Red Or Black was certainly the lowest point.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09When you see just people going,

0:04:09 > 0:04:13"Mmm, heads, tails, red, black, whatever..." We don't care.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Simon's not that bothered any more.

0:04:15 > 0:04:16"I'm so busy making so much money

0:04:16 > 0:04:19"that I've got to come up with another TV show.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22"Let's do heads or tails, but we can't just do that.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24"Let's call it Red Or Black. Job done.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26"Right, I'm off to LA. See you in a bit."

0:04:26 > 0:04:29Genuinely couldn't care. No interest.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33Not only did Red Or Black struggle to get viewers excited,

0:04:33 > 0:04:34it also managed to annoy us

0:04:34 > 0:04:38when it turned out its first £1 million winner, Nathan Hageman,

0:04:38 > 0:04:39had a bit of a dodgy background.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42The fact that the first winner of Red Or Black was

0:04:42 > 0:04:44this guy that's been in jail for beating up women,

0:04:44 > 0:04:47it's just an incredible oversight.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51It just reflects really badly on Simon Cowell.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Unfortunately, what happened was the guy who won it

0:04:54 > 0:04:56was kind of a convicted wife-beater.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00So perhaps they should have called it Black And Blue in homage to him.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06Though his star might have been on the wane this year,

0:05:06 > 0:05:10recent estimates put Cowell's fortune at £200 million.

0:05:10 > 0:05:14It's a good job he's still got a bob or two,

0:05:14 > 0:05:17as this was the year he revealed he's made post-break-up payments

0:05:17 > 0:05:19to past girlfriends like Sinitta and Terri Seymour.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22So why would he do that, then?

0:05:22 > 0:05:24It emerged that he pays almost alimony payments

0:05:24 > 0:05:27to all his ex-girlfriends, but those girls certainly know about

0:05:27 > 0:05:29the skeletons in the cupboard,

0:05:29 > 0:05:32and he definitely wants to keep them on good terms.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34With rumours about one-off payments

0:05:34 > 0:05:36for his exes of anything up to 10 million,

0:05:36 > 0:05:41maybe the annoying thing is that he hasn't tried to get off with any of the rest of us.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46If someone could organise for me to go out with Simon Cowell,

0:05:46 > 0:05:49that would set me up. I can't afford to get my car wing mirror fixed.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Maybe he'd pay for that. I dunno. Pick me, Simon!

0:05:53 > 0:05:55I'll be your girlfriend!

0:05:55 > 0:06:00Popping one out at 23, it's Brand Beckham. Getting even bigger.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02# Oh, na, na What's my name? #

0:06:03 > 0:06:07The Beckhams always score high in the most annoying list,

0:06:07 > 0:06:09and this year is no exception

0:06:09 > 0:06:12with the arrival of their latest edition, Harper Seven.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17The new baby in the family, the second person in the family

0:06:17 > 0:06:20that runs around crying with a high-pitched scream.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21After David, of course.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23It's different having a little girl.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27She's elegant. She sleeps in an elegant position.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Yeah?- Yeah. She's the cutest thing.

0:06:29 > 0:06:30It was just an odd name.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33You know, after Brooklyn and Romeo and Cruz,

0:06:33 > 0:06:35you thought, "Where can they go now?"

0:06:35 > 0:06:38The Beckhams have become very creative.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Make love in Brooklyn - Brooklyn.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42Make love in Spain - Cruz.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Make love in Rome - Romeo.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47Harper Seven must have been the time it was conceived.

0:06:47 > 0:06:49"What time was it?" "Ah, about 7.30."

0:06:49 > 0:06:51"That's the name of the baby. Thanks, Victoria."

0:06:51 > 0:06:53"Thanks, David."

0:06:53 > 0:06:55# Say my name, say my name. #

0:06:55 > 0:06:57So where did the curious name come from?

0:06:58 > 0:07:02He's named his daughter after his football shirt.

0:07:02 > 0:07:03That's amazing.

0:07:03 > 0:07:08The whole idea that Seven was born on the seventh hour

0:07:08 > 0:07:11of the seventh day and so it's kind of meaningful

0:07:11 > 0:07:14and significant is frankly tosh, isn't it?

0:07:14 > 0:07:17Or maybe it was more a case of selective timing

0:07:17 > 0:07:20by "too posh to push" Victoria.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23That said, I do have an uncle called Monday who was born on a Monday.

0:07:23 > 0:07:24So what you going to do?

0:07:24 > 0:07:29What's wrong with Emily? I quite like Emily. Susan.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Their kids will get the piss taken out of them

0:07:31 > 0:07:33at school, and I feel sorry for them.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35What I find most annoying about Victoria is that

0:07:35 > 0:07:38she never puts the baby down.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42She carries around this little girl like an accessory, a handbag.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45I think she does it because she doesn't want to obscure

0:07:45 > 0:07:48the photographers' view of her shoes.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50# She's in fashion. #

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Working mum Posh managed to produce both a new baby

0:07:53 > 0:07:55and fashion line this year.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02But she's yet to give birth to a smile.

0:08:02 > 0:08:04Will nothing make that woman happy?

0:08:04 > 0:08:05She's never been a smiler.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07She's never been someone that you warm to

0:08:07 > 0:08:10and yet we're told that she's a very jokey personality

0:08:10 > 0:08:12behind closed doors. I would love to see that,

0:08:12 > 0:08:13to see how funny she is.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Instead, we saw her at the Royal Wedding

0:08:16 > 0:08:19looking really miserable, really unhappy.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22Any rapper will tell you that you never smile in photos,

0:08:22 > 0:08:24and that's what I think it is.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27She secretly still harbours a bit of a hip-hop career.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30I think that it's just simply a case of anybody points

0:08:30 > 0:08:31a camera at her, she does a...

0:08:33 > 0:08:36I wish she'd smile occasionally. That's the only thing.

0:08:36 > 0:08:41Just please give Mr Paparazzi a little teensy-weensy smile.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45A new entry at 22. It's a maddening Manchester City striker.

0:08:48 > 0:08:52No, not that one, although fans were certainly riled by allegations

0:08:52 > 0:08:55from Manager Mancini that Carlos Tevez had refused

0:08:55 > 0:08:59to get his backside off the subs bench for City versus Bayern Munich.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01But for sheer volume of annoyance, he can't compete

0:09:01 > 0:09:06with Mohican-sporting Italian team-mate Mario Balotelli.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09He's like, "You know what? I know you've got media lessons,

0:09:09 > 0:09:13"but I can't be bothered with that. Forget it, I can take care of it."

0:09:13 > 0:09:14I'm not sure if you can, Mario.

0:09:14 > 0:09:19Super Mario inspired City to their first trophy in 35 years

0:09:19 > 0:09:21as they beat Stoke to win the FA Cup.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24His performances have lit up this season's Premier League,

0:09:24 > 0:09:27but it was off the pitch fireworks that hit the headlines

0:09:27 > 0:09:30when a prank at his mansion went horribly wrong.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36Mario Balotelli's behaviour with the fireworks,

0:09:36 > 0:09:37we have to take a dim view of that,

0:09:37 > 0:09:40because it's dangerous and it's wasting public money,

0:09:40 > 0:09:42but I pissed myself when I saw that story.

0:09:42 > 0:09:46What do you expect? How old is he? 19, 20?

0:09:46 > 0:09:49You go and stick him in a big house and say, "Bring your mates over."

0:09:49 > 0:09:53They're hardly going to sit down and watch Midsomer Murders on DVD.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55"Outside, it's just too far.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57"It's just too far to go outside.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00"Let's go to the bathroom and do our fireworks there."

0:10:04 > 0:10:07But it's always the little extra thought

0:10:07 > 0:10:09just seems to be lacking with Mario.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13And it's not the first time the barking-mad Balotelli

0:10:13 > 0:10:16has caused Mancini sleepless nights, with a charge sheet

0:10:16 > 0:10:19as long as a WAG's shopping list from Harvey Nicks.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23# I wake up Every day is a daydream. #

0:10:23 > 0:10:27In fact, Mario is so bonkers, he's even managed to rack up

0:10:27 > 0:10:31an incredible scoring record when it comes to parking fines.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35Everything is lost in translation. For him, parking fines,

0:10:35 > 0:10:37that might be a level of achievement.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40The guy's never received any form of certificate.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Every time he receives one,

0:10:42 > 0:10:45put on his car, like... "Mucho bella!

0:10:45 > 0:10:49"A certificato! A certificato!"

0:10:49 > 0:10:53When he got caught by the police in his car with £5,000 cash

0:10:53 > 0:10:55and they asked him, "Why do you have £5,000?"

0:10:55 > 0:10:57He says, "Cos I'm rich."

0:10:57 > 0:11:01£5 to me is £5. Five grand to Mario is £5.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04So Mario is going to turn up at the shop and go,

0:11:04 > 0:11:06"Eh hey, I want those Hubba Bubbas.

0:11:06 > 0:11:10"Give me the Hubba Bubbas. Here's ten grand. Arrivederci."

0:11:10 > 0:11:12That's Mario. He's a confused guy.

0:11:12 > 0:11:16# Some people think I'm bonkers but I just think I'm free. #

0:11:16 > 0:11:21From City's most annoying player to their two most annoying fans.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23# Today is going to be the day

0:11:23 > 0:11:25# That they're going to throw it back to you. #

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Oasis - anyone remember them?

0:11:27 > 0:11:322011 was another year Noel and Liam annoyed us by yet again

0:11:32 > 0:11:35continuing to argue about the demise of their former band.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40They were one of the greatest bands of all time.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43They filled out stadiums. People flocked to see them.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Now they just gripe and moan at each other constantly.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51He doesn't like me, you know, but he doesn't like me in a violent way.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55I don't get on with him. There's no point being in a band with people you fight with.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58But the sibling rivalry has always been there, but it's just

0:11:58 > 0:12:01really manifested itself into something else, a ball of fury now.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Oasis might have split in 2009, but this year's

0:12:04 > 0:12:07our kid and our kid's usual bickering

0:12:07 > 0:12:10threatened to turn into a legal battle.

0:12:10 > 0:12:14The complete and utter breakdown in the Gallaghers' relationship

0:12:14 > 0:12:16was on full display this year

0:12:16 > 0:12:19when Liam decided he was going to sue Noel

0:12:19 > 0:12:22for claiming that he had missed an Oasis gig for being hungover.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Liam brought in the lawyers after Noel said

0:12:27 > 0:12:30the singer had been less than truthful about why he missed

0:12:30 > 0:12:32the band's V Festival gig back in 2009.

0:12:32 > 0:12:36Noel said he didn't really have laryngitis,

0:12:36 > 0:12:39and Liam said, "Hold on, mate, I've got the doctor's note.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40"I'm going to sue the arse off you."

0:12:40 > 0:12:45How extreme is that? To potentially sue your brother

0:12:45 > 0:12:47over some throwaway comments.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50You just want to get these two in a room, sit them down,

0:12:50 > 0:12:52shake them both and say, "Sort this out."

0:12:52 > 0:12:56But getting these two in a room might not be such a good idea

0:12:56 > 0:13:00if the account Noel gave this year of their break-up is anything to go by.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03And for whatever reason, he went to his dressing room

0:13:03 > 0:13:05and he came back with a guitar, wielding it like an axe.

0:13:05 > 0:13:10It's a real unnecessary violent act, and he's swinging this guitar around

0:13:10 > 0:13:15and he kind of, you know, he nearly took my face off with it, you know.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18# You didn't know what to say. #

0:13:18 > 0:13:21Liam didn't seem too impressed with Noel spilling the beans

0:13:21 > 0:13:25and took to Twitter to offer his own verdict on his brother's big mouth.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28Liam tweeted the word "shitbag" in reference to Noel.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30They could just text each other and say,

0:13:30 > 0:13:33"Mate, I think you're being a bit of a cock."

0:13:33 > 0:13:38To see Liam reduced to twittering slightly abusive words

0:13:38 > 0:13:40towards his brother, it's like,

0:13:40 > 0:13:44"Gee, I thought they were a little bit more rock 'n' roll than that."

0:13:47 > 0:13:50They're old men who keep moaning. "My brother's a dickhead."

0:13:50 > 0:13:52"Yeah, my brother's a dickhead as well."

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Just get on with making the music. Don't argue.

0:13:55 > 0:13:56Lest we forget, these days

0:13:56 > 0:13:59Liam is best known for having his own clothing label,

0:13:59 > 0:14:03though judging by his style, it may be best avoided.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09But he isn't the only celebrity out there with a dodgy taste in threads.

0:14:09 > 0:14:13We present to you this year's top three frocky horrors.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17At 3, no, it's not that woman from Dragon's Den. It's Jessie J.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Jessie J's got an alternative look going on.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23I remember her wearing that body-tight get-up

0:14:23 > 0:14:27and her hair kind of matched and she's got a great figure,

0:14:27 > 0:14:29but I'm just not going for the tight look, to be honest.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31It was like a pair of tights

0:14:31 > 0:14:33wrapped around her body.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36At 2, it's hip-hop superstar Nicki Minaj,

0:14:36 > 0:14:41a lady who clearly gets dressed in the dark whilst wearing a blindfold.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44She's like Lady Gaga times Lady Gaga.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47There's a fine line between being a trendsetter

0:14:47 > 0:14:49and being a crazy B-I-T-C-H.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Taking the top spot is Princess Beatrice

0:14:55 > 0:14:58for daring to wear the hat from hell at the Royal Wedding back in April.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01I defy anyone to show me a worse-dressed celebrity

0:15:01 > 0:15:03than Princess Beatrice at the wedding.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06That hat was disgusting!

0:15:06 > 0:15:10Princess Beatrice genuinely wore

0:15:10 > 0:15:13that big antler on the front of her face to a wedding.

0:15:13 > 0:15:17Oh, bless her. She just made a mistake, didn't she?

0:15:19 > 0:15:23Back to business. At number 20, we have a very naughty boy.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27# We don't need no education. #

0:15:27 > 0:15:332011 has seen students continue to demonstrate about universities

0:15:33 > 0:15:36being given the right to charge £9,000 a year in tuition fees.

0:15:36 > 0:15:40For some of them, though, their protests went a little bit too far.

0:15:40 > 0:15:45'Few students could afford to come to court in a chauffeur-driven van,

0:15:45 > 0:15:49'but not every student has a multi-millionaire rock musician for a dad.'

0:15:49 > 0:15:53July saw Charlie Gilmour, the son of Pink Floyd guitarist Dave Gilmour,

0:15:53 > 0:15:56jailed for violent disorder following his actions

0:15:56 > 0:16:00at a student fees demonstration in London back in winter 2010.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04In a day of bad behaviour by the 19-year-old, it was this incident

0:16:04 > 0:16:08at the National Cenotaph that really annoyed the nation.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11The judge saved his most scathing criticism for Gilmour's

0:16:11 > 0:16:15behaviour here, telling him, "You have shown disrespect

0:16:15 > 0:16:20"for the ultimate sacrifice of those that fell defending this country."

0:16:20 > 0:16:24Charlie Gilmour's behaviour wasn't just annoying, was it, really?

0:16:24 > 0:16:28I mean, it was completely and utterly disgusting.

0:16:28 > 0:16:34No-one thought that swinging off the Cenotaph was acceptable.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37Swinging from a union flag was just one of Charlie Gilmour's

0:16:37 > 0:16:42ill-advised moments on a day that up to 40,000 students

0:16:42 > 0:16:44took to the streets of London.

0:16:47 > 0:16:48Oh, eh,

0:16:48 > 0:16:50toffs and their pranks, eh?

0:16:50 > 0:16:52There's nothing worse than rock stars' kids.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56Yes, they may flatter thee,

0:16:56 > 0:17:01but thou shalt feel a hollow agony!

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Gilmour's son comes out of the woodwork.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06"Ooh, there's a riot! I'm going to hang off of a statue,

0:17:06 > 0:17:08"get on everyone's tits," you know what I mean?

0:17:08 > 0:17:11Don't swing off memorials, especially for the war dead.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14It's not a good look and people are going to hate you, and rightly so.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20Gilmour also attacked Prince Charles's car

0:17:20 > 0:17:23and smashed the window of Topshop,

0:17:23 > 0:17:26but what seemed to annoy many about Charlie's part in the protest

0:17:26 > 0:17:27is the fact that money isn't an issue

0:17:27 > 0:17:30when you're the son of a rich rock star.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33I think some people are definitely going to be annoyed by the fact

0:17:33 > 0:17:38that Charlie Gilmour was protesting about the increase in student fees

0:17:38 > 0:17:42while at the same time he obviously had a multi-millionaire dad.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45The way that he protested almost felt like

0:17:45 > 0:17:47he was just doing it for the fun of it.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54The other annoying thing about Charlie's brush with the law

0:17:54 > 0:17:57was blaming his rampage on the LSD, valium and whisky he'd consumed

0:17:57 > 0:18:00during the hours before he ran amok.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02"I'm so sorry I did that, but in my defence,

0:18:02 > 0:18:03"I was taking illegal drugs."

0:18:03 > 0:18:06"Oh, fine. Well, off you go, then! No problem."

0:18:06 > 0:18:10He thinks he can get away with that. The arrogance!

0:18:10 > 0:18:14Thou hast sown a sorrow and must reap...

0:18:14 > 0:18:17Sorry, sorry, sorry.

0:18:17 > 0:18:21If you are going to protest, a little tip is don't take acid,

0:18:21 > 0:18:24because if you take acid, you can't even put your trousers on

0:18:24 > 0:18:27- the right way round. - The message is somewhat lost.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30So how are you going to inform the masses

0:18:30 > 0:18:33when you're tripping your nuts off?

0:18:33 > 0:18:37Grow up, go to university, get an education, stop taking acid.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Just in, at number 19, it's the Bieber.

0:18:40 > 0:18:44FANS CHANT: Justin! Justin! Justin!

0:18:44 > 0:18:46THEY SCREAM WITH WILD ABANDON

0:18:49 > 0:18:51He may have got all grown up this year, got his hair cut

0:18:51 > 0:18:53and possibly even had sex.

0:18:54 > 0:18:59But it didn't stop Justin Bieber or his fans, the Beliebers,

0:18:59 > 0:19:01from being any less annoying.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04I think what's annoying about Bieber is just

0:19:04 > 0:19:07he's so young and so successful

0:19:07 > 0:19:11which, to most people who have worked their nuts off, is irritating.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14# I'm 12, can I have another mansion, please? #

0:19:14 > 0:19:15It IS quite annoying.

0:19:15 > 0:19:19# Baby, baby, baby, no. #

0:19:19 > 0:19:22Last year he was at the top of the album charts.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26This year, he's at the top of the richest teen list

0:19:26 > 0:19:28by raking in a reported 53 million.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35But in 2011, Brand Bieber was less about music

0:19:35 > 0:19:38and more about merchandise. Instead of a new album,

0:19:38 > 0:19:42Justin's first release of the year was his film Never Say Never.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44# I will never say never. #

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Never Say Never was in 3D,

0:19:46 > 0:19:48which was incredibly annoying

0:19:48 > 0:19:51because he's coming at you and you can almost strangle him.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53You can almost punch him in the face.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56And whilst new tracks continue to go missing,

0:19:56 > 0:19:59a little romance with fellow teen star Selena Gomez

0:19:59 > 0:20:01kept his fans in a frenzy.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05I can't imagine him having a girlfriend,

0:20:05 > 0:20:08doing anything other than sharing some Haribo.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11If I was a teenager, I'd be really upset

0:20:11 > 0:20:14and I would cry all the time that they're constantly kissing

0:20:14 > 0:20:16and they have to keep displaying love for each other

0:20:16 > 0:20:18everywhere they go.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21By August, there was still no new music,

0:20:21 > 0:20:23but he did produce a multitude of products.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Including a fragrance for the ladies.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Oh, my God. Is it for girls?

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Justin Bieber, aged 17,

0:20:33 > 0:20:35putting out perfume for girls.

0:20:35 > 0:20:39Meaning, "Justin Bieber knows what I want on my body."

0:20:39 > 0:20:41What does a 17-year-old boy know about perfume for women?

0:20:41 > 0:20:44I'd advise you not to use that, ladies.

0:20:44 > 0:20:48I hope he is at least taking some of his own sweat or some DNA

0:20:48 > 0:20:51so that we can actually buy something

0:20:51 > 0:20:55so ridiculous as Someday, guaranteed to stimulate and amuse.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Unlike Justin Bieber's music.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59# I will never say never. #

0:20:59 > 0:21:01By November surely we'd get some new music,

0:21:01 > 0:21:04some killer pop track to mark his territory

0:21:04 > 0:21:06as the new Justin Timberlake,

0:21:06 > 0:21:10or would he just cash in some more with a Christmas album?

0:21:10 > 0:21:13# It's the most beautiful time of the year

0:21:13 > 0:21:17# Lights fill the streets spreading sp much cheer. #

0:21:17 > 0:21:19If he carries on like this, one way or another

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Justin Bieber will be opening a supermarket near you.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25Only, don't be surprised if he owns it.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26We do that in Canada.

0:21:26 > 0:21:30Every couple of years, we churn out a new annoying personality,

0:21:30 > 0:21:31mostly through music.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36There's a rock 'n' roll explosion in Britain.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40Well, we've got to offset that with some Avril Lavigne.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43What's this? Folk music taking off? Give 'em Celine Dion.

0:21:43 > 0:21:45We pump 'em out every couple of years.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Justin Bieber is our latest one.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51You're welcome, world! You are welcome.

0:21:51 > 0:21:56Cashing in at 18, we're keeping up with Kim Kardashian.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59# If I was a rich girl Na, na, na, na, na... #

0:21:59 > 0:22:02Reality TV royalty, the Kardashians are not shy

0:22:02 > 0:22:04when it comes to cashing in on their brand...

0:22:06 > 0:22:09..with endorsements galore coming out of their ears.

0:22:09 > 0:22:13The greed that oozes out of the Kardashian clan

0:22:13 > 0:22:15is the most annoying thing about them.

0:22:15 > 0:22:21How many hundreds of millions do you need before you say "I'm done"?

0:22:21 > 0:22:25Pushy mum Kris, the money-spinner behind daughters

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie,

0:22:27 > 0:22:31has unashamedly created a marketing monster out of her family.

0:22:31 > 0:22:35Kris Jenner, who is the mum in the family, has been able

0:22:35 > 0:22:38to market the Kardashian brand so extremely well,

0:22:38 > 0:22:41she is an absolute genius at that,

0:22:41 > 0:22:43and make a lot of money for that family.

0:22:43 > 0:22:48But this year, it's sister Kim who cashed in the biggest prize.

0:22:48 > 0:22:49She has to sell.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53She doesn't have a talent. She can't sing, she can't dance,

0:22:53 > 0:22:55she's too chubby to be a model. She has to sell.

0:22:55 > 0:22:59I don't really know who she is. I see her plenty.

0:22:59 > 0:23:03She's this wee girl, kind of cute, big bottom.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06What's she done? What's she famous for? I don't get it.

0:23:06 > 0:23:10# Everybody's got a price I wonder how they sleep at night. #

0:23:10 > 0:23:12August 2011 saw Kim get hitched

0:23:12 > 0:23:15to basketball man-mountain Kris Humphries

0:23:15 > 0:23:17in a multi-million dollar TV wedding,

0:23:17 > 0:23:20and after selling the rights to the highest bidders,

0:23:20 > 0:23:23it didn't cost the happy couple a dime.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27Kim Kardashian seemed to take the freebie wedding

0:23:27 > 0:23:29to a whole new level.

0:23:29 > 0:23:33When you have almost created a wedding for television,

0:23:33 > 0:23:38you do have to wonder how genuine the relationship actually is.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40# It's not about the money, money, money. #

0:23:40 > 0:23:45Most people break the bank, you know, to pay for a wedding here,

0:23:45 > 0:23:48and she made, what, 14 million, 16 million?

0:23:48 > 0:23:52Any time you make money from your own wedding,

0:23:52 > 0:23:55it kind of takes away from the romance.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59It just doesn't lead me to believe that this is going to work out.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03And just 72 days later, it was all over...

0:24:05 > 0:24:09..having made a reported 18 million from magazine deals,

0:24:09 > 0:24:13TV coverage and endorsements. That's a cool 250,000 a day!

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Nice work if you can get it, Kim.

0:24:15 > 0:24:1872 days she held it together for. Then it all fell apart.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21Making a mockery of a great institution, the marriage.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24People talk about showmances, about celebrity weddings,

0:24:24 > 0:24:27lacking integrity. We all knew it was going

0:24:27 > 0:24:28to end up in court one day,

0:24:28 > 0:24:30whether the basketball court or a court of law.

0:24:30 > 0:24:34It's turned out to be the latter. Kim Kardashian does it again.

0:24:34 > 0:24:38It's not just weddings that celebs have been trying to flog us this year.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44This is our countdown of those stars desperate to get their hands

0:24:44 > 0:24:48on our hard earned by cashing in on their 15 minutes of fame.

0:24:50 > 0:24:55Number three - how about modelling your look on Robbie Williams' granddad?

0:24:55 > 0:24:57HE MAKES MONKEY NOISES

0:24:57 > 0:25:02# I hope I'm old... #

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Robbie Williams is really embracing getting older.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07It doesn't surprise me he's brought out a range of granddad coats

0:25:07 > 0:25:11he thinks is quite cool, but, actually, if you weren't Robbie Williams wearing it,

0:25:11 > 0:25:14you do just look like a bit of a granddad.

0:25:14 > 0:25:18Next on nobody's Christmas list, the range of merchandise

0:25:18 > 0:25:21available from the boys and girls from The Only Way Is Essex.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24The idea of anybody wanting to look like that

0:25:24 > 0:25:26is just quite absurd, isn't it?

0:25:26 > 0:25:28That whole kind of really thick fake tan,

0:25:28 > 0:25:33the huge amount of make-up, big, spidery eyelashes,

0:25:33 > 0:25:36and hair that's got more extensions in than I've ever seen before,

0:25:36 > 0:25:39and yet people are buying into this

0:25:39 > 0:25:41and the vajazzling kits that they want to sell.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44I've seen them everywhere. Who does this stuff, who buys it?

0:25:45 > 0:25:49It's been a while since they topped any charts, but our number one

0:25:49 > 0:25:52annoying celebrity product for 2011 is AC/DC's wine.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Of all the drinks you would associate with AC/DC -

0:25:58 > 0:26:01not the wine, not a merlot.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05Can't imagine Angus going crazy in the head-banging days thinking,

0:26:05 > 0:26:10"Oh, what a gig we've had, let's go out and get a gentle rioja".

0:26:13 > 0:26:17Next on our list, it's everyone's favourite annoying popstar.

0:26:21 > 0:26:232011 was business as usual for Lady Gaga.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27It's the third year running that she's annoyed us.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Maybe it's time to get some new ideas.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Hello, everybody.

0:26:31 > 0:26:35Lady Gaga just needs to go away. It's boring now. We get it.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38I think the thing with Lady Gaga is it's kind of overkill.

0:26:38 > 0:26:42You're trying too hard, it's not nice.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45Another vintage year for the first lady of annoying behaviour

0:26:45 > 0:26:47began back in January.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Her Grammy outfit in 2010 was the infamous meat dress.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53This year, she arrived being carried in a giant egg.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56She claimed to have been in the egg for three hours

0:26:56 > 0:26:59getting herself in character, ready for the show,

0:26:59 > 0:27:01which kind of sounds a bit ridiculous.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04What character was she trying to get into, a chick?

0:27:04 > 0:27:09# This time I'm not leaving without you... #

0:27:09 > 0:27:13But the Grammys weren't the only awards this year where Gaga had us gagging.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17Most annoying for me this year with Lady Gaga was when she turned up

0:27:17 > 0:27:21to the MTV Awards as her male alter ego, I think it was Jo Calderone.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26She looked like Shane MacGowan from The Pogues on acid

0:27:26 > 0:27:29and that she needed a really good wash.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32So poor Britney Spears must have been terrified

0:27:32 > 0:27:34when Gaga tried to snog her.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37You're like, "Gaga, that's already been done.

0:27:37 > 0:27:41"Madonna, the person you copy every day, has already snogged Britney."

0:27:41 > 0:27:45# My momma told me when I was young... #

0:27:45 > 0:27:49Snogging Britney wasn't the only time Gaga was accused

0:27:49 > 0:27:52of taking her love of Madonna a bit too far this year.

0:27:52 > 0:27:56Her single Born This Way also sounded a touch familiar.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58It was a cover of Express Yourself!

0:27:58 > 0:28:02I'm amazed Madonna's lawyers haven't been on the phone

0:28:02 > 0:28:04and suing the arse off her.

0:28:06 > 0:28:10The Born This Way/Express Yourself phenomenon, where you play

0:28:10 > 0:28:13both of the songs at the same time and sounds exactly like it...

0:28:13 > 0:28:17# I'm beautiful in my way Cos God makes no mistakes

0:28:17 > 0:28:21# I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way... #

0:28:21 > 0:28:26# Don't go for second best, baby, put your love... #

0:28:26 > 0:28:28It's true, it's all true.

0:28:28 > 0:28:30- But is it an homage?- No.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32- Is it inspiration?- No.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Or is it like when I go to the mall and steal something?

0:28:35 > 0:28:39That's like when you go to the mall and steal something.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42When Gaga was asked about the controversy,

0:28:42 > 0:28:46she said she wouldn't be moronic enough to rip off another artist,

0:28:46 > 0:28:48but it wasn't just the music that annoyed.

0:28:48 > 0:28:53The song's message of tolerance also grated for some of Gaga's fiercest fans.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55She was expecting it to turn into this really gay anthem and,

0:28:55 > 0:28:59unfortunately, they saw it as very much pandering to them

0:28:59 > 0:29:04and they felt it was maybe a little bit desperate on her part.

0:29:04 > 0:29:06Lady Gaga releases this album for the gays

0:29:06 > 0:29:09and then we say she's pandering - like, how can you please us?

0:29:09 > 0:29:10Well, Madonna knows how.

0:29:10 > 0:29:11And speaking of Madonna,

0:29:11 > 0:29:14what does she make of Gaga's apparent obsession with her?

0:29:14 > 0:29:19Well, they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

0:29:19 > 0:29:23Madonna, privately, I'm told, refers to her as Lady Gag.

0:29:23 > 0:29:26She feels that Gaga is almost strategically ripping her off

0:29:26 > 0:29:28and recently Madonna said it -

0:29:28 > 0:29:32"You know, I haven't figured out if it's a compliment or not,"

0:29:32 > 0:29:35which, in Hollywood speak, is, "I can't stand the bitch".

0:29:35 > 0:29:37Up next, the Bourne Ultimatum.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43When bride-to-be Heidi Withers

0:29:43 > 0:29:49set off for a peaceful weekend away in Devon with her prospective parents-in-law,

0:29:49 > 0:29:52little did she know what she was letting herself in for.

0:29:53 > 0:29:57Gardening guru Carolyn Bourne, step-mum of fiance Freddie,

0:29:57 > 0:30:01objected so strongly to the way she felt Heidi had behaved on the visit

0:30:01 > 0:30:04that she sent her an email attacking her manners.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08It seems the email Mrs Bourne sent from here

0:30:08 > 0:30:12to her daughter-in-law-to-be was meant to be private.

0:30:12 > 0:30:15But somehow it was forwarded on to other people,

0:30:15 > 0:30:19who then sent it on to more people, and then it went viral.

0:30:22 > 0:30:24When I read it I was so shocked

0:30:24 > 0:30:27at how somebody can be that blunt.

0:30:27 > 0:30:30If my mum ever wrote my boyfriend like that,

0:30:30 > 0:30:32I would cold slap that bitch.

0:30:32 > 0:30:34She sounds like Mrs Bucket on steroids,

0:30:34 > 0:30:37that's what I gleaned from that email.

0:30:39 > 0:30:43By her failure to keep up required appearances,

0:30:43 > 0:30:46newspapers readers around the world learned that Carolyn

0:30:46 > 0:30:50considered Heidi an ideal candidate for Ladette to Lady

0:30:50 > 0:30:53and suggested that she found herself a good finishing school.

0:30:53 > 0:30:56- ARCHIVE:- Finishing school gives you that touch of savoire fair.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59Down...and up.

0:30:59 > 0:31:03So what was it that got the haughty horticulturalist so upset?

0:31:12 > 0:31:15Apparently she ate her dinner before everyone else.

0:31:15 > 0:31:18I mean, I do - you know, I mean, sometimes I don't even say grace.

0:31:18 > 0:31:23The gardening gloves were off as her mumzilla's manners guide continued.

0:31:33 > 0:31:38We get up at 3am. Now see you in the morning.

0:31:39 > 0:31:43This demon of decorum had more advice.

0:31:49 > 0:31:51I think you should lead by example,

0:31:51 > 0:31:52you know,

0:31:52 > 0:31:55she could have handwritten her email, couldn't she?

0:31:55 > 0:31:58And sent it in a little notelet card with a picture of some ducks

0:31:58 > 0:32:01on the front or something and it would have been rather lovely.

0:32:01 > 0:32:05Carolyn really couldn't contain herself, though,

0:32:05 > 0:32:08when it came to Freddie and Heidi's plans

0:32:08 > 0:32:11to hold their reception at Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire.

0:32:17 > 0:32:20You can imagine her sitting there with her handbag going, "Mmm".

0:32:20 > 0:32:24In fact, as she's writing this, I like to imagine that she's dressed

0:32:24 > 0:32:27like Maggie Smith from Downton Abbey with the same sour look on her face.

0:32:27 > 0:32:31- # ..Is for a little respect - Just a little bit... #

0:32:31 > 0:32:34It's quite nice to know that your family are not the only family

0:32:34 > 0:32:36that are absolutely mental.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39It's nice for people to look on and be like, "Oh, yeah, OK,

0:32:39 > 0:32:41"my boyfriend's mum's a bit of a cow,

0:32:41 > 0:32:44"but at least she didn't send this email to me."

0:32:44 > 0:32:49I think her best punishment is I wish Heidi and Freddie a long and happy marriage.

0:32:49 > 0:32:54Unsurprisingly, Carolyn and her husband were not seen at the wedding this November.

0:32:54 > 0:32:56But, then again, nor was Heidi.

0:32:58 > 0:33:02Up next, not one, but two annoying things in 2011.

0:33:02 > 0:33:06Kate Moss began the year by setting the catwalk alight

0:33:06 > 0:33:08with a smoking appearance.

0:33:11 > 0:33:16There is no question that smoking is vulgar, particularly on a catwalk.

0:33:16 > 0:33:18Unfortunately, I'm not sure how long Kate can go

0:33:18 > 0:33:20between one cigarette and the next.

0:33:22 > 0:33:25Here she is, for whatever reason, an icon of our times.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27She absolutely knows that.

0:33:27 > 0:33:31Why she felt the need to force that on to the catwalk

0:33:31 > 0:33:35when she knew the way that that would appear to teenagers as,

0:33:35 > 0:33:37"Well, it's cool, cos Kate Moss does it,"

0:33:37 > 0:33:41and I know that's a really boring and old argument,

0:33:41 > 0:33:43but, the fact of the matter is, it is true.

0:33:45 > 0:33:48But smoking wasn't the only annoying thing that Kate did this year.

0:33:48 > 0:33:51In July she married hubby Jamie Hince with a guest list

0:33:51 > 0:33:55of A-list movers and shakers intent on causing chaos in the Cotswolds.

0:33:57 > 0:34:00It was a very eclectic group, including two celebrity racists -

0:34:00 > 0:34:03Brown and Galliano were there.

0:34:03 > 0:34:06If you're going to invite Galliano and James Brown to your wedding,

0:34:06 > 0:34:09you probably should cross off Samuel L Jackson,

0:34:09 > 0:34:10and Woody Allen as well.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13I think the priest would have probably been trying to get

0:34:13 > 0:34:16through the ceremony as quick as possible.

0:34:16 > 0:34:19"I now pronounce you man and wife, off you go".

0:34:19 > 0:34:23The residents of Little Faringdon were absolutely furious

0:34:23 > 0:34:26with Kate Moss for basically shutting down the village

0:34:26 > 0:34:28so she could stage her own mini festival.

0:34:28 > 0:34:31Three days for a wedding.

0:34:31 > 0:34:34Most weddings I know you get to the evening, a couple of drinks,

0:34:34 > 0:34:36a fight, then we go home.

0:34:36 > 0:34:37Three days!

0:34:41 > 0:34:45She made it completely clear that this was a private event.

0:34:45 > 0:34:49However, she expected all the residents nearby to put up

0:34:49 > 0:34:53with receiving absolutely no access to their village.

0:34:53 > 0:34:55How they meant to get to the local pub?

0:34:55 > 0:34:59How's the mobile library meant to go around while she's there lording it up?

0:34:59 > 0:35:02The police spent thousands and thousands of pounds

0:35:02 > 0:35:05and it was completely and utterly unacceptable.

0:35:05 > 0:35:08Kate Moss is used to having police visit her. This time they were on her side.

0:35:12 > 0:35:15Well, through the village there's been lots of vehicles,

0:35:15 > 0:35:18blacked out windows, containing, well...

0:35:18 > 0:35:20- CHEERING - ..we know not who.

0:35:20 > 0:35:25Shutting down a whole village does not make you the lady of the manor.

0:35:27 > 0:35:30Maybe she was doing it to be different.

0:35:30 > 0:35:33Maybe she was doing it to be a little shocking,

0:35:33 > 0:35:35but it was so annoying.

0:35:39 > 0:35:42Now for a fallen fashionista.

0:35:44 > 0:35:46Eccentric enfant terrible John Galliano

0:35:46 > 0:35:49has been causing waves on the catwalk for years.

0:35:49 > 0:35:53# Fashion, turn to the left Fashion, turn to the right... #

0:35:53 > 0:35:58But 2011 saw the oddball outfitter go completely off the rails,

0:35:58 > 0:36:01as admiration turned to outrage.

0:36:01 > 0:36:03On Thursday evening, John Galliano was arrested at this bar

0:36:03 > 0:36:06for the suspected verbal abuse of a female customer.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09He vehemently denies the use of anti-semitic language.

0:36:10 > 0:36:15No, but I love Hitler and people like you would be dead today.

0:36:15 > 0:36:17WOMAN LAUGHS

0:36:17 > 0:36:21- Your mother's... Your forefathers would be- BLEEP- dead.

0:36:21 > 0:36:23WOMAN: Oh, my God!

0:36:23 > 0:36:25But when it emerged that Galliano

0:36:25 > 0:36:28had been responsible for two more racist rants at the same bar,

0:36:28 > 0:36:33employers Christian Dior sacked the disgraced designer.

0:36:33 > 0:36:36John Galliano was really the go-to guy in fashion.

0:36:36 > 0:36:39This is a man who had people like Kate Moss, Natalie Portman,

0:36:39 > 0:36:42Madonna on his speed dial.

0:36:42 > 0:36:46You couldn't think of a name in fashion any more prestigious

0:36:46 > 0:36:47or famous than he.

0:36:49 > 0:36:53People in the fashion industry are always a bit odd and a bit

0:36:53 > 0:37:00quirky but quirkiness does not make racist outbursts acceptable.

0:37:01 > 0:37:07Here's a man who is part of a group of people who have been

0:37:07 > 0:37:11stereotyped in the past - he's a gay man and proud of it -

0:37:11 > 0:37:16but it makes it even more unpalatable that he's pointing at a minority

0:37:16 > 0:37:18and showing how racist he was.

0:37:18 > 0:37:22I'd love for John to go back in time to Hitler where Hitler was

0:37:22 > 0:37:24throwing all these parties for gay people

0:37:24 > 0:37:27and showing how much he appreciated them.

0:37:27 > 0:37:30Oh, no, he wasn't, he was putting them in ovens as well.

0:37:30 > 0:37:33Galliano faced trial in a Paris court with his defence team

0:37:33 > 0:37:37denying he was racist and blaming his outbursts on alcohol

0:37:37 > 0:37:38and prescription drugs.

0:37:38 > 0:37:42# Now the drugs don't work They just make you worse... #

0:37:42 > 0:37:45"I'm having trouble sleeping cos I'm working in Australia, doctor."

0:37:45 > 0:37:48"I recommend some Zopiclone sleeping tablets."

0:37:48 > 0:37:49"Any side effects?"

0:37:49 > 0:37:53"Yes, you will shout, "Jew, Jew, dirty Jew," every time you wake up."

0:37:53 > 0:37:55"I might just stick to the Nytol."

0:37:55 > 0:37:57The court found him guilty,

0:37:57 > 0:38:00but his friends continued to offer a shoulder pad to cry on

0:38:00 > 0:38:03and carried on wearing his creations regardless.

0:38:05 > 0:38:10People like Kate Moss stood behind him despite what happened.

0:38:10 > 0:38:13He did lose his job, but I don't quite know

0:38:13 > 0:38:16if he lost the entire respect of the fashion industry,

0:38:16 > 0:38:18and I think that was something that annoyed me.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Causing yet another scene at 13 is a celebrity racking up

0:38:29 > 0:38:33a fifth appearance on the most annoying list.

0:38:33 > 0:38:36# Baby, you're a firework... #

0:38:36 > 0:38:38Hold on to your valuables - it's Lindsay Lohan!

0:38:39 > 0:38:43Lindsay's attention-seeking antics have been virtually unstoppable

0:38:43 > 0:38:46this year, and back in February she added something new

0:38:46 > 0:38:49to her long list of bad girl behaviour...

0:38:49 > 0:38:50jewellery thief!

0:38:50 > 0:38:53This is someone who could potentially make millions

0:38:53 > 0:38:55and millions and millions of pounds if she wanted to,

0:38:55 > 0:39:00and the fact that she just wants to nick things is just appalling.

0:39:00 > 0:39:03- When regular people take things, it's called stealing.- Yes.

0:39:03 > 0:39:07When a celebrity steals something, it's called loaning and borrowing.

0:39:07 > 0:39:08Or gifting!

0:39:08 > 0:39:11It's tough in Hollywood. People don't get this.

0:39:11 > 0:39:14They don't realise how hard film stars have it and you know what?

0:39:14 > 0:39:17Sometimes you just need a little bit of extra jewellery,

0:39:17 > 0:39:20and if people aren't just going to give it to you,

0:39:20 > 0:39:22what are you supposed to do? Pay for it yourself?!

0:39:22 > 0:39:25Charged with theft and probation violations,

0:39:25 > 0:39:27the judge sentenced her to 120 days' house arrest,

0:39:27 > 0:39:30but rapper Pitbull sentenced her to life

0:39:30 > 0:39:33in his international hit song Give Me Everything.

0:39:33 > 0:39:36RAPS: And I got her locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39This girl's actually sueing the rapper Pitbull

0:39:39 > 0:39:42because he mentions her in his music video.

0:39:42 > 0:39:45HE RAPS: And I got her locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

0:39:45 > 0:39:49Well, she WAS locked up. It's a fact - rappers can rap about whatever they want,

0:39:49 > 0:39:54but they can particularly rap about something that actually happened.

0:39:56 > 0:39:59I think the girl should be so lucky to have any mention at all

0:39:59 > 0:40:01in the world right now.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04What is she doing for society besides serving as an example

0:40:04 > 0:40:06of what not to be when you grow up?

0:40:07 > 0:40:10Reformed after having to serve just 35 days on the sofa,

0:40:10 > 0:40:14Lindsay obviously said no to pricy haircuts but yes

0:40:14 > 0:40:17to spending 80,000 on a new Porsche.

0:40:20 > 0:40:23At the same time, Lilo was being chased for a hefty unpaid

0:40:23 > 0:40:25limousine bill of 100,000.

0:40:25 > 0:40:28I think she doesn't pay it because she's addicted to drama

0:40:28 > 0:40:32and so she wants the limousine guy banging down her door

0:40:32 > 0:40:34so that that's another video that can be uploaded to TMZ.

0:40:34 > 0:40:39If you can't afford a limousine, then do not rack up

0:40:39 > 0:40:42a bill for a limousine. It's pretty simple, Lindsay.

0:40:45 > 0:40:48Struggling with her life and her make-up, Lohan was back in court

0:40:48 > 0:40:51in November for yet again failing to complete her community service,

0:40:51 > 0:40:56and was rather appropriately sentenced to working in the local morgue.

0:40:56 > 0:40:59I think the most annoying thing about Lindsay is

0:40:59 > 0:41:03no matter how many chances she's had to succeed, she blows it.

0:41:03 > 0:41:05- JUDGE: Miss Lohan?- I'm sorry.

0:41:05 > 0:41:09Given the opportunities she's had, the money she's had,

0:41:09 > 0:41:12the people around her who've tried to help her,

0:41:12 > 0:41:16not even one time has she taken responsibility for what she's done.

0:41:16 > 0:41:20I find her probably the most annoying person in the world.

0:41:20 > 0:41:23# It's a hard-knock life! #

0:41:24 > 0:41:27Slipping down the list and slipping up this year,

0:41:27 > 0:41:31Katie Price has had an even more annoying 2011,

0:41:31 > 0:41:33but the problem is she just won't go away.

0:41:33 > 0:41:37She's an animal, that one, she really is.

0:41:39 > 0:41:42The poor guy, she's just like this big python waiting

0:41:42 > 0:41:45to, like, get him and digest him.

0:41:45 > 0:41:46Oh, I haven't got a particular type.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48Poor Peter Andre.

0:41:48 > 0:41:49You know, I'm in no rush to get married.

0:41:49 > 0:41:51Poor Alex.

0:41:51 > 0:41:52Why do I want to talk about exes?

0:41:52 > 0:41:56She dumps her latest, Leandro,

0:41:56 > 0:42:00by translator, who says to him, "You're not giving her enough sex".

0:42:00 > 0:42:02That's not a nice person.

0:42:02 > 0:42:05She'll get halfway through something and go,

0:42:05 > 0:42:07"Oh, that's not working," and walk away.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10That's fine if it's a book or a TV show. When it's a person...

0:42:10 > 0:42:12Ohhhh.

0:42:12 > 0:42:14And what gets me the most -

0:42:14 > 0:42:17she hits them where it hurts and blasts them

0:42:17 > 0:42:19all over the media

0:42:19 > 0:42:21saying that they couldn't keep up with her in bed.

0:42:21 > 0:42:24A dog with two dicks couldn't keep up with you in bed, pet.

0:42:24 > 0:42:27Ever since her split from Peter Andre,

0:42:27 > 0:42:30Katie may have lost the support of the general public,

0:42:30 > 0:42:34but continues to make millions from her ample assets.

0:42:34 > 0:42:38And, touch wood, everything I do does work.

0:42:40 > 0:42:44So what does a girl who's already bared it all do for a bit more exposure?

0:42:44 > 0:42:49Launch her own magazine of course, about her favourite subject.

0:42:49 > 0:42:50Herself.

0:42:50 > 0:42:52# You're so vain... #

0:42:52 > 0:42:56Such a girly-girly magazine, it's all fun, uplifting.

0:42:56 > 0:43:00I was just so pleased with it, they've done such a good job as well.

0:43:00 > 0:43:03Katie Price has got a magazine. Doesn't mean anyone will read it.

0:43:03 > 0:43:05It's got, like, problem pages,

0:43:05 > 0:43:08it's got my views on people on the red carpet.

0:43:08 > 0:43:11Not about the individual person, just about their outfit.

0:43:11 > 0:43:14My favourite nail varnishes, my tattoos,

0:43:14 > 0:43:16just bits that people don't know about me.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19When Katie Price announced she was bringing out her own magazine,

0:43:19 > 0:43:22it was a very dark day at Glamour Magazine,

0:43:22 > 0:43:23we were quaking in our boots.

0:43:23 > 0:43:26It's got cooking tips, and how to make what I make.

0:43:26 > 0:43:30I don't care how Katie Price boils her frozen peas or makes them,

0:43:30 > 0:43:35but the walking hypocrisy is that she has made millions

0:43:35 > 0:43:40from magazines like OK!, Hello!, posing, telling them everything

0:43:40 > 0:43:44and then she even shafts them by bringing out her own magazine.

0:43:44 > 0:43:49It's like she can't have a lasting relationship with anyone.

0:43:50 > 0:43:54So, having given us her all in her books, her magazines

0:43:54 > 0:43:59and her boyfriends, finally, Katie Price has gone in search of herself.

0:43:59 > 0:44:04Well, actually, someone she can turn INTO herself in her new TV

0:44:04 > 0:44:07quest to find the next Katie Price.

0:44:07 > 0:44:08They came, they queued

0:44:08 > 0:44:12and stay tuned for the new cut price Katie Price!

0:44:14 > 0:44:18Next up, it's Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer.

0:44:18 > 0:44:20BOTH: Yo, yo, yo, what's up?

0:44:20 > 0:44:24- I'm John.- I'm Edward. BOTH: And together we are Jedward!

0:44:24 > 0:44:27Yo, VIP. Let's kick it!

0:44:28 > 0:44:30# Pressure! #

0:44:30 > 0:44:33The very existence of Jedward is annoying.

0:44:33 > 0:44:37They've got half a brain each and neither of those halves is working.

0:44:37 > 0:44:41The thing we love about hotel rooms is no matter how dirty you make it,

0:44:41 > 0:44:43you don't have to clean it up as you get the hotel cleaners

0:44:43 > 0:44:47- to come in and clean your room. - And they are like, "Waa-a-ah!".

0:44:47 > 0:44:51They're so pale, they're like veal cutlets that haven't been out into the sun.

0:44:51 > 0:44:53First of all, we should apologise to music lovers everywhere.

0:44:53 > 0:44:57When we met Jedward last year, we planted a dangerous thought

0:44:57 > 0:44:59in their otherwise empty heads.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07Fortunately, the UK had other plans,

0:45:07 > 0:45:11but Ireland, for what happened next, we are truly sorry.

0:45:11 > 0:45:12We are Jedward!

0:45:12 > 0:45:17And we're twins, OK, and we're so excited about making the final.

0:45:21 > 0:45:23It nearly caused me to have a seizure.

0:45:23 > 0:45:26They were moving around so fast mumbling these strange words.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28It was like they were having a fit themselves.

0:45:28 > 0:45:32They were the most annoying thing on the entire Eurovision,

0:45:32 > 0:45:34which is saying a hell of a lot.

0:45:36 > 0:45:39The boys finished in a fairly respectable eighth place

0:45:39 > 0:45:43but their annoying year was only just getting started.

0:45:43 > 0:45:47BOTH: Aaaagh!

0:45:47 > 0:45:50Party!

0:45:50 > 0:45:52# My bad behaviour My bad behaviour

0:45:52 > 0:45:56# Told you I was trouble with my bad behaviour... #

0:45:56 > 0:45:59Jedward's next move in 2011 was an impressive display

0:45:59 > 0:46:02of just how irritating they really can be.

0:46:02 > 0:46:05# Now tell me if I'm bad... #

0:46:05 > 0:46:09Placed in a Big Brother house crammed full of annoying celebrities,

0:46:09 > 0:46:12they had no problem putting their rivals in the shade.

0:46:12 > 0:46:14They were incredibly annoying.

0:46:14 > 0:46:16It was like two six-year-old children.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18In fact, two-year-olds at times.

0:46:18 > 0:46:22I think I was pretty close to putting both their heads down the toilet at one stage.

0:46:22 > 0:46:26One thing you didn't see is me having them pinned up against a wall

0:46:26 > 0:46:29in a strangulation attempt, which was very fun, I might add.

0:46:29 > 0:46:32It wasn't life-threatening, but, boy, it could just have been...

0:46:32 > 0:46:34# My bad behaviour... #

0:46:34 > 0:46:37They were extremely irritating in Big Brother, yet finished third.

0:46:37 > 0:46:41Could it be that the really annoying thing about Jedward this year

0:46:41 > 0:46:44is that secretly we're all becoming Jedheads?

0:46:44 > 0:46:47He's wearing his clothes because he's on TV

0:46:47 > 0:46:50and he doesn't want to, like, show off his muscles.

0:46:50 > 0:46:53I think secretly inside I'm a bit of a Jedward fan.

0:46:53 > 0:46:57I...um...I like how tight their trousers are.

0:46:59 > 0:47:00This is the look.

0:47:00 > 0:47:03I want to be honest tonight

0:47:03 > 0:47:07and make it public that I am the third Jedward.

0:47:07 > 0:47:09They are the only decent thing

0:47:09 > 0:47:12Louis Walsh has ever done and I think they're brilliant.

0:47:12 > 0:47:15Absolutely brilliant. Team Jedward.

0:47:15 > 0:47:17- Jed to the E to the D to the ward. - BOTH: Planet Jedward!

0:47:17 > 0:47:19Their hits might have dried up,

0:47:19 > 0:47:23but their 15 minutes of fame shows no sign of ending.

0:47:23 > 0:47:26Rather annoyingly, it seems as though we're stuck with them.

0:47:26 > 0:47:31Jedward are not going to change. They're never going to grow up. It is their brand.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33Yes, they're annoying to some people,

0:47:33 > 0:47:37but, my God, without people like that, we'd have a pretty boring world, wouldn't we?

0:47:37 > 0:47:39If the world now got hit by a nuclear bomb,

0:47:39 > 0:47:42there'd be two things that existed - cockroaches and Jedward.

0:47:42 > 0:47:45And Jedward would outlive the cockroaches.

0:47:48 > 0:47:53At ten, MTV's shock reality show from Newcastle.

0:47:53 > 0:47:57Serving a bevy of booze, birds and bonking, it's Geordie Shore.

0:47:57 > 0:48:00After The Only Way is Essex, I thought, "Where do we go next?"

0:48:00 > 0:48:03Newcastle. Let's find some metrosexual guys

0:48:03 > 0:48:06and girls with their boobs hanging out. Should be easy enough.

0:48:08 > 0:48:12The Geordie Shore cast exist on booze and sex, one-night stands...

0:48:12 > 0:48:15We going to get four birds round, wine and dine them,

0:48:15 > 0:48:17make them feel good and bang 'em.

0:48:17 > 0:48:19I love the fact there was no tact or subtlety to it.

0:48:19 > 0:48:22On the first night, there was already sex and a fight.

0:48:22 > 0:48:24I think that's the sign of any good night out.

0:48:24 > 0:48:29# Oh, watching people get lairy... #

0:48:29 > 0:48:31I don't think they have any limits.

0:48:31 > 0:48:33I think they're vile, they're disgusting.

0:48:33 > 0:48:35This is too much.

0:48:35 > 0:48:37I just want to go out, get them pissed, and bang them.

0:48:37 > 0:48:41They say things that you would never say. They do things you would never do.

0:48:41 > 0:48:43And it's vulgar.

0:48:43 > 0:48:46And I love that. I sit there and I'm addicted.

0:48:46 > 0:48:49I can sit and watch that programme back-to-back-to-back...

0:48:51 > 0:48:52I'll need a shower afterwards.

0:48:52 > 0:48:56Viewers and the national press were outraged by the gang's behaviour,

0:48:56 > 0:49:00accusing it of taking reality TV to new lows.

0:49:00 > 0:49:03My favourite girl in Geordie Shore has got to be Vicky.

0:49:03 > 0:49:06I reckon Vicky's going to kick off without a doubt.

0:49:06 > 0:49:08Vicky. "Don't push us, Jay."

0:49:08 > 0:49:11I'm still raging about them bringing back them lasses

0:49:11 > 0:49:13and now he feels the need to mug us off again.

0:49:17 > 0:49:20Any girl that spits in her man's face is a girl I want to be rolling with.

0:49:22 > 0:49:25I'm a bit embarrassed that I managed

0:49:25 > 0:49:27to spit in Jason's face.

0:49:27 > 0:49:29But he did piss us off.

0:49:29 > 0:49:32You did it first, Jay! You did it first.

0:49:32 > 0:49:33'I was working in a call centre.'

0:49:33 > 0:49:36I was shite at it.

0:49:36 > 0:49:39I was on me last warning, absolutely hated it.

0:49:39 > 0:49:41It was an opportunity to do something

0:49:41 > 0:49:45that not many people will ever, ever get the chance to experience -

0:49:45 > 0:49:47getting paid to get pissed.

0:49:54 > 0:49:56Oh, no.

0:49:59 > 0:50:03I just loved the mad, swearing, Geordie patter.

0:50:07 > 0:50:10As a Scotsman, I could almost understand most of it as well.

0:50:12 > 0:50:13Tashing on.

0:50:13 > 0:50:14Tashing on.

0:50:14 > 0:50:16I've no idea.

0:50:17 > 0:50:20Ejaculating on someone's top lip.

0:50:20 > 0:50:23Get a tash on - it means to get off with someone and snog them.

0:50:23 > 0:50:26Tashing on, I'm going to take full credit for.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29It was just necking on, having a kiss.

0:50:31 > 0:50:32Mortal.

0:50:32 > 0:50:34Um...

0:50:34 > 0:50:36Dead? That's dead.

0:50:36 > 0:50:38Must mean hammered or pissed or drunk.

0:50:38 > 0:50:42- GEORDIE ACCENT:- Absolutely mortal, man. It means getting drunk.

0:50:44 > 0:50:47Has a girl ever performed a slut drop on me?

0:50:47 > 0:50:49That's a first. I've never heard of that term.

0:50:49 > 0:50:50What's a slut drop?

0:50:50 > 0:50:54Just by hearing that, I know exactly what it is. A slut that has dropped.

0:50:54 > 0:50:58- Aw, show a slut drop.- Slut drop is getting so famous right now.

0:50:58 > 0:51:00It's a busy, busy bar on a Saturday night,

0:51:00 > 0:51:04and the only way you're going to let that lad across the room know that you're into him

0:51:04 > 0:51:07is by...doing a slut drop.

0:51:07 > 0:51:10He starts, like, grinding behind on you, like, he's feeling you,

0:51:10 > 0:51:13he's enjoying it and then all of a sudden - boom! Slut drop.

0:51:13 > 0:51:15That's it, you've pulled.

0:51:15 > 0:51:19And then after that, he is all over you like a rash.

0:51:19 > 0:51:22I'm honestly not surprised that we're in your top 50 Most Annoying.

0:51:22 > 0:51:27At the end of the day, we're a bunch of over-tanned, talentless twats.

0:51:27 > 0:51:30At nine, it's the pap with the carefully-crafted pecs,

0:51:30 > 0:51:32who can only be described as...

0:51:32 > 0:51:34# So macho... #

0:51:34 > 0:51:36I've never given a shit what people think.

0:51:36 > 0:51:38# So macho... #

0:51:38 > 0:51:41Which is just as well.

0:51:41 > 0:51:44With a reputation as the most prolific paparazzi in the world,

0:51:44 > 0:51:46Darryn Lions made an expose of himself

0:51:46 > 0:51:49when he entered the celebrity Big Brother house this year.

0:51:49 > 0:51:50I was quite surprised

0:51:50 > 0:51:53Darryn Lyons entered Celebrity Big Brother, because it's normally

0:51:53 > 0:51:57full of the worst kind of attention-seekers you've ever seen in your life.

0:51:57 > 0:52:00Just to look at Darryn, he doesn't want the attention.

0:52:00 > 0:52:01He keeps himself to himself.

0:52:01 > 0:52:06He dresses normally, he's got a normal haircut. I couldn't understand it at all.

0:52:06 > 0:52:09I'm not bothered about being watched 24 hours a day.

0:52:09 > 0:52:11I've got nothing to hide. I am who I am. You love me or hate me.

0:52:11 > 0:52:14It's one tick off the bucket list that not many people

0:52:14 > 0:52:17and not many celebrities on the planet will get to do.

0:52:17 > 0:52:21But it was his much talked about bizarre new body that sent Britain bonkers.

0:52:21 > 0:52:24I think he's so cute!

0:52:24 > 0:52:27He looks like a cute little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

0:52:29 > 0:52:32And the press went to town on Darryn's shiny turtle tummy.

0:52:32 > 0:52:37Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! I loved it. It was a fantastic headline.

0:52:40 > 0:52:43Darryn's washboard stomach is a result of body contour surgery -

0:52:43 > 0:52:47a fat-hoovering procedure costing him over ten grand.

0:52:49 > 0:52:53What a body. I mean, wow, what a body.

0:52:53 > 0:52:55It looks like a child's drawing.

0:52:55 > 0:52:58It's really strange.

0:52:58 > 0:53:01I don't think there's any man with a body like mine and Darryn's

0:53:01 > 0:53:05who watched that and went, "Wow, life-changer."

0:53:05 > 0:53:09It's been a life-changing thing and, at the end of the day, I'm proud as punch.

0:53:09 > 0:53:15With the amount of girls stopping me in the streets saying, "Show us your abs," it's been a bit of a winner.

0:53:15 > 0:53:17'Darryn is working it.'

0:53:17 > 0:53:20Not just proud of showing off his body, Darryn also took delight

0:53:20 > 0:53:25in revealing he's had more than just a few notches on his bedpost.

0:53:25 > 0:53:30'Darryn is regaling the housemates with another tale from his glory days.'

0:53:30 > 0:53:35- You had 12 women in bed with you? - It was a good night.

0:53:35 > 0:53:39Wow, I thought there was other guys involved. I'm... 12 in a bed?

0:53:39 > 0:53:44It was those crazy days when I was... Well, I was a lot older than you, actually.

0:53:44 > 0:53:47Old enough to know better, you man slag.

0:53:47 > 0:53:51# Sexy boy... #

0:53:51 > 0:53:56I think Darryn Lyons' lady-man ability is all in the mohican.

0:53:56 > 0:54:00It's like his mojo, know what I mean? What he does is, like an avatar,

0:54:00 > 0:54:03he gets the end of his hair and attaches it to the female's hair

0:54:03 > 0:54:07and then they make a love connection and that's how they mate.

0:54:07 > 0:54:10I was quite surprised to hear that Darryn Lyons is a bit of a ladies' man -

0:54:10 > 0:54:13then I found out it was actually Darryn who'd said that.

0:54:13 > 0:54:17So what has Lyons the Lothario given us in 2011?

0:54:17 > 0:54:20It's all pink dressing gowns,

0:54:20 > 0:54:23crazy hair and chiselled torsos.

0:54:23 > 0:54:28And if that's what I've brought to the celebrity world as the most annoying celebrity in 2011,

0:54:28 > 0:54:30well, giddy up.

0:54:30 > 0:54:34Riding high in our chart this year, and not for her music,

0:54:34 > 0:54:36it's the queen mother of pop, Madonna.

0:54:37 > 0:54:41Never shy of getting what she wants, when Madonna attempts to

0:54:41 > 0:54:44give us more than three minutes of pop, it's always a worry.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49Madonna... Eugh.

0:54:49 > 0:54:51What more can you say?

0:54:51 > 0:54:55Last year, she was playing fashion designer with daughter Lourdes,

0:54:55 > 0:54:57but this year, Madonna has been making a movie.

0:54:57 > 0:55:00# We're making a movie Isn't it groovy?

0:55:00 > 0:55:03# Welcome to my house. #

0:55:03 > 0:55:06Wow, that's some pretty smooth rhyming there, Madonna.

0:55:06 > 0:55:08Mmm.

0:55:08 > 0:55:11Can't wait to get that single.

0:55:11 > 0:55:13# Every little thing that you say or do

0:55:13 > 0:55:17# I'm hung up I'm hanging up on you... #

0:55:17 > 0:55:20I think she should stick to what she knows.

0:55:20 > 0:55:23You've been very successful, pet, for a lot of years.

0:55:23 > 0:55:26You've reinvented yourself time and time again.

0:55:26 > 0:55:29I don't know another 50-year-old bird who looks as good as you in a leotard.

0:55:29 > 0:55:32That is an achievement. Why can't she just be proud of that?

0:55:32 > 0:55:34Writing and directing W./E. -

0:55:34 > 0:55:38a modern biopic about Edward and Mrs Simpson - in London this year,

0:55:38 > 0:55:40Madonna had hoped looking rough behind a camera

0:55:40 > 0:55:44would give her movie the credibility she so desperately craved.

0:55:44 > 0:55:48The whole process has been extremely...um...

0:55:48 > 0:55:52I don't know, inspiring, exhausting. I've never worked so hard in my life.

0:55:52 > 0:55:56But all that hard work wasn't enough to impress the critics.

0:55:58 > 0:56:02So whilst trying to woo the public and the press

0:56:02 > 0:56:04into seeing her dodgy directorial debut,

0:56:04 > 0:56:08she spectacularly managed to annoy everyone when a nice man offered her a flower.

0:56:08 > 0:56:14This flower for you. You're my princess, thank you so much. I love you.

0:56:14 > 0:56:17On receiving the floral gift, Madge promptly discarded it

0:56:17 > 0:56:20and was overheard telling the person next to her...

0:56:22 > 0:56:23How rude!

0:56:23 > 0:56:26# I beg your pardon... #

0:56:26 > 0:56:27The guy is lucky

0:56:27 > 0:56:30Madonna didn't take the hydrangea and slap him across the face.

0:56:30 > 0:56:33Don't give me some broken-down 4 flower, give me a bouquet.

0:56:33 > 0:56:36- Madonna, where's the flowers? - Oh, my assistant took them.

0:56:36 > 0:56:38'I didn't know she loathed them.'

0:56:38 > 0:56:40Maybe that was my mistake

0:56:40 > 0:56:43not to read beforehand that she loathed them.

0:56:43 > 0:56:44I just don't see it myself.

0:56:44 > 0:56:47I mean, what's a hydrangea ever done to anyone?

0:56:47 > 0:56:51It's fairly inoffensive. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned manners, Madonna?

0:56:51 > 0:56:55As a human, I was upset because I put all my love into the gift

0:56:55 > 0:56:58and she put it on the floor and didn't care about it.

0:56:58 > 0:56:59She's a big star.

0:56:59 > 0:57:03She should be grateful for any attention she receives.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05This is a good lesson for Madonna.

0:57:05 > 0:57:07I think it was all set up

0:57:07 > 0:57:11just to keep people from talking about the terrible, terrible movie.

0:57:11 > 0:57:14Of course, W./E. stands for Wallis and Edward,

0:57:14 > 0:57:17but I think for most of us it stands for, "Whatever, Madonna."

0:57:19 > 0:57:21At number seven, it's Roo-KnowWho.

0:57:25 > 0:57:28The really annoying thing about Wayne is that he's a pro-footballer.

0:57:28 > 0:57:31He makes shedloads of money.

0:57:31 > 0:57:33He is the idol of millions

0:57:33 > 0:57:37and he's got no idea about how lucky he is.

0:57:37 > 0:57:41It's been yet another 12 months of annoying antics for our Wayne.

0:57:41 > 0:57:45Last year, it might have been all about prostitutes and contract disputes,

0:57:45 > 0:57:47this year, though, it's a case of...

0:57:47 > 0:57:50# Hair we go, hair we go, hair we go. #

0:57:50 > 0:57:52Wayne Rooney's hair transplant.

0:57:52 > 0:57:55If you've got that much money at your disposal,

0:57:55 > 0:57:59I would have gone, "There's a million, find Michael Bolton, do him..."

0:57:59 > 0:58:03# Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? #

0:58:03 > 0:58:07Put his head on your head. Amazing head of hair.

0:58:07 > 0:58:09Timeless as well.

0:58:09 > 0:58:12But a hair transplant hardly seems the stuff of a no-nonsense footballer

0:58:12 > 0:58:15in his mid-20s, so are we being a bit vain, Rooney?

0:58:15 > 0:58:18It's not like he's doing it to pick up women. He's Wayne Rooney.

0:58:18 > 0:58:20He'll buy a girl if he wants one.

0:58:20 > 0:58:23He'll buy a granny, you know what he's like. It doesn't matter.

0:58:23 > 0:58:26Just go to the OAP shop, that's like Toys R Us for him.

0:58:26 > 0:58:30Wayne Rooney sold out the bald brothers, but he's got more swagger on the pitch.

0:58:30 > 0:58:33He's doing a lot better. It's given him a bit of a spring in his step.

0:58:34 > 0:58:37With the new thatch giving Wayne a Samson-like strut,

0:58:37 > 0:58:43summer saw him take the missus for a dirty weekend, but being annoying celebrity glampers,

0:58:43 > 0:58:47their trip to Glastonbury wasn't the typical festival experience.

0:58:47 > 0:58:49He spent ten grand on a campervan. It's only a third

0:58:49 > 0:58:51of what he spent on his hair,

0:58:51 > 0:58:53so I suppose it's a wise investment for him.

0:58:53 > 0:58:55I like the fact he needed security

0:58:55 > 0:58:58to take him to the toilet as well. I don't know if that was to protect him

0:58:58 > 0:59:02or just that he still needs someone to wipe his backside at his age.

0:59:02 > 0:59:052011 was also the year Wayne took to Twitter.

0:59:05 > 0:59:07He soon had over one and a half million followers,

0:59:07 > 0:59:13but it didn't take long to discover that not all of them were friendly.

0:59:13 > 0:59:16Nice to see home fans booing you(!)

0:59:16 > 0:59:21I saw he was having an argument with a Twitter follower that was giving him abuse

0:59:21 > 0:59:23and Rooney's attitude to this wasn't to block him

0:59:23 > 0:59:27or just to ignore him, it was to offer him "outside after training".

0:59:27 > 0:59:32He said that he could put him to sleep within ten seconds.

0:59:32 > 0:59:35I would think that a little bit of criticism

0:59:35 > 0:59:37for a guy that earns 200 grand...

0:59:37 > 0:59:40If I had that in my bank balance, I could probably take it.

0:59:40 > 0:59:44Wayne's Twitter tantrum wasn't the only time he lost his rag this year.

0:59:44 > 0:59:47He also got sent off playing for England,

0:59:47 > 0:59:50meaning he now has a ban for the beginning of Euro 2012.

0:59:52 > 0:59:55Wayne's red card was entirely unnecessary.

0:59:55 > 0:59:57He's an important player for England, OK,

0:59:57 > 1:00:00so he's not just let down himself, he's let down the nation.

1:00:00 > 1:00:04We might not qualify without him. How annoying is that?

1:00:05 > 1:00:08At number six, it's Britain's most celebrated bottom.

1:00:12 > 1:00:15April 29th, 2011. The nation gathered around the television

1:00:15 > 1:00:19to see our future king and queen tie the knot.

1:00:19 > 1:00:23Up until then, all the talk had been about Kate's dress. Then this happened.

1:00:23 > 1:00:26# I see you, baby

1:00:26 > 1:00:28# Shaking that ass... #

1:00:28 > 1:00:31I was watching the Royal Wedding and there was an audible gasp

1:00:31 > 1:00:34when Pippa's rear made its first appearance.

1:00:34 > 1:00:39She wore a dress that was clearly designed

1:00:39 > 1:00:41to maximise her ass.

1:00:41 > 1:00:44And that was our introduction to poor old Pippa Middleton,

1:00:44 > 1:00:49who suddenly found she'd become the owner of the most famous and annoying bum of the year.

1:00:49 > 1:00:53Pippa's bum just took over the nation.

1:00:53 > 1:00:56As soon as she stepped out of that car and shook her booty,

1:00:56 > 1:00:58that was it, we were all going crazy.

1:00:58 > 1:01:00There was a lot of hype that day.

1:01:00 > 1:01:02Everything got blown out of proportion.

1:01:02 > 1:01:04If you're a lady and marrying the heir to the throne,

1:01:04 > 1:01:07this must be one of your worst nightmares.

1:01:07 > 1:01:10Your sister and her arse are the most famous thing of the day.

1:01:10 > 1:01:13In fact, such was the instant fame of Pippa and her bum

1:01:13 > 1:01:16that by the end of the day,

1:01:16 > 1:01:18her royal hotness had many a loyal subject.

1:01:18 > 1:01:21As soon as Pippa Middleton stepped out of the Rolls-Royce

1:01:21 > 1:01:24at Westminster Abbey, my friends and I were all united in the fact

1:01:24 > 1:01:26that, yeah, she was pretty stunning.

1:01:26 > 1:01:30Just as a joke, I started a Facebook page with the title

1:01:30 > 1:01:33Pippa Middleton Arse Appreciation Society.

1:01:33 > 1:01:37Every time I refreshed the page we were getting ten more people,

1:01:37 > 1:01:3920 more people, 30 more people.

1:01:39 > 1:01:43I think it had about 40,000 likes by the end of the first day,

1:01:43 > 1:01:44and it just went crazy.

1:01:44 > 1:01:49It wasn't just frisky Facebookers who went potty for Pippa.

1:01:49 > 1:01:55After the wedding, newspapers and magazines grabbed hold of her bottom and wouldn't let go.

1:01:55 > 1:02:00I really felt sorry for her, because she's getting papped all the time, and she's so not ready for it.

1:02:00 > 1:02:05The fact that she can walk out in a dodgy-looking dress and get on the front page

1:02:05 > 1:02:08of five national newspapers is over the top to me.

1:02:08 > 1:02:12We know more about her bum than we do about her.

1:02:12 > 1:02:15It's more of a celebrity entity than the rest of her.

1:02:15 > 1:02:19And it's not just the UK that seems to have developed an annoying obsession

1:02:19 > 1:02:21with Britain's best-known bum.

1:02:21 > 1:02:26P-Middy has also been getting plenty of interest from our friends across the pond.

1:02:26 > 1:02:28Americans clearly have a bum fixation.

1:02:28 > 1:02:32Now apparently Pippa's, as opposed to Kim Kardashian or J-Lo's,

1:02:32 > 1:02:36is the number one most-requested bum in the plastic surgeon's office.

1:02:36 > 1:02:41Having seen Pippa, they come in, they want the smaller,

1:02:41 > 1:02:44more rounded, tight, fit buttocks,

1:02:44 > 1:02:47and it stimulated a lot of interest around the world.

1:02:47 > 1:02:53Back on home turf, perhaps all this irritating fuss over Pippa and her bum is finally starting to die down.

1:02:53 > 1:02:56Faced with the conundrum of who should win Rear of the Year UK,

1:02:56 > 1:03:01voters handed the prize to an old favourite, offering one from the bottom and two from the top.

1:03:01 > 1:03:05I can't understand why Carol Vorderman beat Pippa Middleton

1:03:05 > 1:03:06to Rear of the Year this year,

1:03:06 > 1:03:10because I thought that the campaign we put together was strong enough.

1:03:10 > 1:03:11But maybe next year.

1:03:11 > 1:03:14As Pippa found out, dressing to show off your best assets

1:03:14 > 1:03:17is one way guaranteed of hogging headlines.

1:03:19 > 1:03:23But some stars have pushed it a bit too far this year.

1:03:23 > 1:03:27This is our countdown of those celebrities who revealed much more of themselves

1:03:27 > 1:03:28than they would have liked.

1:03:28 > 1:03:30At three in our list is Kelly Rowland,

1:03:30 > 1:03:33who was more X certificate than X Factor

1:03:33 > 1:03:36as she performed at a club in New Jersey.

1:03:36 > 1:03:38At the time it didn't register for people,

1:03:38 > 1:03:41but now that she's a household name cos of X Factor,

1:03:41 > 1:03:44suddenly it means something to you.

1:03:44 > 1:03:48The bra bit just moved up and completely exposed her top half.

1:03:48 > 1:03:51I imagine a very embarrassing moment.

1:03:51 > 1:03:55Number two, and even more mortifying than Blue's Eurovision entry this year

1:03:55 > 1:03:58was singer Antony Costa getting caught short at a cashpoint.

1:03:58 > 1:04:01It was horrible what he did but I have a grudging respect

1:04:01 > 1:04:03for the multi-tasking that he managed to do.

1:04:03 > 1:04:05I have trouble remembering my PIN number.

1:04:05 > 1:04:09If I was going to the toilet at the same time, I definitely wouldn't remember.

1:04:09 > 1:04:12Unless he's got his PIN number written on top of his knob.

1:04:14 > 1:04:17Number one, and House of Commons Speaker John Bercow

1:04:17 > 1:04:20certainly didn't relish the exposure his missus got this year.

1:04:20 > 1:04:21I think the most annoying thing

1:04:21 > 1:04:23about Sally Bercow is the way everyone went on

1:04:23 > 1:04:25about that photograph of her

1:04:25 > 1:04:28in a bed sheet with the House of Commons out the window.

1:04:28 > 1:04:30She didn't even look that fit.

1:04:30 > 1:04:32I wasn't looking at her, I was looking out the window.

1:04:32 > 1:04:35I didn't really have a problem with it.

1:04:35 > 1:04:37Just for the record, would...

1:04:45 > 1:04:50Rising high on our list in more ways than one this year is Charlie Sheen.

1:04:54 > 1:04:58Hollywood is no stranger to the celebrity meltdown,

1:04:58 > 1:05:03but this year Two And A Half Men star Charlie Sheen had one to beat them all.

1:05:07 > 1:05:10Charlie Sheen is just a magnified example of the mad person

1:05:10 > 1:05:12you meet on the bus you don't sit beside,

1:05:12 > 1:05:13except he's a Hollywood star.

1:05:13 > 1:05:17Charlie! Charlie! What do you think of all this?

1:05:17 > 1:05:20'He is what celebrity is supposed to be.'

1:05:20 > 1:05:22It's nothing less than huge.

1:05:22 > 1:05:27He's entertaining and he just keeps us watching.

1:05:31 > 1:05:35This year, the wild antics of the playboy, and his not one, but two Playgirl goddesses

1:05:35 > 1:05:39forced production on his hit sitcom Two And A Half Men to grind to a halt.

1:05:39 > 1:05:43With time on his hands, Sheen turned to Twitter to explain himself,

1:05:43 > 1:05:44and in just over 24 hours

1:05:44 > 1:05:49had over one million followers not understanding a single word.

1:05:49 > 1:05:50I don't know, any suggestions?

1:05:50 > 1:05:52'He was on every website,'

1:05:52 > 1:05:55on every TV show. He was talking to everybody,

1:05:55 > 1:05:58doing crazy things every single day. It got to the point

1:05:58 > 1:06:01where, actually, viewers and readers became a little bit bored of him.

1:06:01 > 1:06:04For his next trick, Charlie decided the time was right

1:06:04 > 1:06:09to insult the man who was paying him a cool 2 million an episode to make people laugh.

1:06:09 > 1:06:14But sitcom boss, Chuck Lorre, delivered the ultimatum punchline and gave him the sack.

1:06:14 > 1:06:19To criticise the people that were paying him so publicly was remarkable

1:06:19 > 1:06:24and, to be honest, I think I was a bit jealous, because we've all wanted to do that.

1:06:24 > 1:06:30We've all wanted to just stand drunk and shout at the people that pay our wages.

1:06:30 > 1:06:33Charlie Sheen, he's not frightened of anybody.

1:06:33 > 1:06:37That's how I'd act if I was Charlie Sheen, up to a point,

1:06:37 > 1:06:39and then Charlie took it too far.

1:06:39 > 1:06:41He went from being a guy just doing these things

1:06:41 > 1:06:44to becoming a show off. No-one likes a show-off.

1:06:49 > 1:06:53Bouncing back from the sack, Charlie's new mantra may have been "winning",

1:06:53 > 1:06:56but he was clearly losing the plot.

1:06:56 > 1:06:58No-one knew exactly what he was winning,

1:06:58 > 1:07:02but, when he announced a tour of his one-man show, The Torpedo Of Truth,

1:07:02 > 1:07:04thousands turned up to find out.

1:07:06 > 1:07:08Charlie! It's for you, buddy!

1:07:08 > 1:07:11I'm gonna name my baby "Charlie"!

1:07:11 > 1:07:13Whoo! Hey!

1:07:13 > 1:07:18Anybody else would listen, you know. It's not how this thing works.

1:07:18 > 1:07:19AUDIENCE SHOUTING

1:07:19 > 1:07:20Anyway...

1:07:20 > 1:07:22AUDIENCE JEERING

1:07:22 > 1:07:28The people who went and saw him were pissed when there was nothing to watch.

1:07:28 > 1:07:31You didn't know that there was no show.

1:07:31 > 1:07:35What talent does he have? He was written for his entire life.

1:07:35 > 1:07:38The way I see it, Charlie owes me 109 bucks.

1:07:38 > 1:07:41- Why's that?- Because it was kind of a waste of time.

1:07:41 > 1:07:46He's not winning. I lost by going to this. I lost. I'm losing.

1:07:48 > 1:07:50Charlie Sheen was asked if he was bipolar.

1:07:50 > 1:07:55His answer was to say, "I'm bi-winning."

1:07:55 > 1:07:57"I win here, I win there, I win everywhere"

1:07:57 > 1:08:00I think he has come out of this a winner.

1:08:00 > 1:08:05Charlie's had the last laugh. After suing the makers of Two And A Half Men for mental anguish,

1:08:05 > 1:08:09he's come away with a settlement of 125 million.

1:08:11 > 1:08:15Charlie Sheen, I am sure, will be back on our TV screens very, very soon

1:08:15 > 1:08:21and he could even become one of the highest-paid members of Hollywood yet again.

1:08:21 > 1:08:26Up next, an appearance from another old friend here on this show.

1:08:27 > 1:08:31For Ashley Cole, 2011 has been an annoying year of guns, girls

1:08:31 > 1:08:35and an unlikely reconciliation in the summer with the ex.

1:08:38 > 1:08:40Cheryl Cole's had a pretty tough time.

1:08:40 > 1:08:45She was very publicly humiliated, being kicked off the X Factor in the USA.

1:08:45 > 1:08:47The thing that she needs is a bit of stability.

1:08:47 > 1:08:53Yes, Ashley Cole's been a rat but, if you're going to offer her love and friendship, so be it.

1:08:53 > 1:08:56But, of course, Ashley being Ashley, it wasn't to last.

1:08:56 > 1:09:01The main reason so many of us hate Ashley Cole is because of what he's done to our beloved Cheryl

1:09:01 > 1:09:06and none of us wanted her to take Ashley back and she did, only to be let down by the guy again.

1:09:06 > 1:09:09What is the matter with him? Cheryl Cole for God's sake,

1:09:09 > 1:09:11giving you a fifth, sixth, seventh chance

1:09:11 > 1:09:15and you do daft stuff with models from nightclubs. What's the matter with you?

1:09:18 > 1:09:22I can't understand him! I can't get me head round him.

1:09:22 > 1:09:26I'm annoyed. I'm furious with...

1:09:26 > 1:09:28I'm just shaking with rage.

1:09:28 > 1:09:31Cheryl Cole, she's hot.

1:09:31 > 1:09:33You're punching well above your weight

1:09:33 > 1:09:35and you still can't treat her right.

1:09:35 > 1:09:39Just what on Earth goes through your head?

1:09:39 > 1:09:42You cheated on one of the most beautiful women in the world

1:09:42 > 1:09:46with a set of absolute skanks, who went and then made money off it.

1:09:46 > 1:09:48I hope you feel proud of yourself.

1:09:48 > 1:09:53But it wasn't only Ashley's love life where a bit of banging landed him in trouble.

1:09:54 > 1:09:57Back in February, he got it very, very wrong

1:09:57 > 1:10:00when he was told he needed to practise his shooting.

1:10:00 > 1:10:02Ashley Cole was reportedly holding the rifle

1:10:02 > 1:10:05when he accidently fired it.

1:10:05 > 1:10:08He shot someone who was standing 5ft away.

1:10:11 > 1:10:15Ashley Cole took the most powerful air gun you can buy without a licence into training.

1:10:15 > 1:10:19And he's just wandering around in the changing rooms

1:10:19 > 1:10:25and shoots the 18-year-old work-experience guy, Tom Cowan.

1:10:25 > 1:10:29That's surely proof the guy's not all there at all. Who would do that?

1:10:29 > 1:10:33Apparently, sources say he was larking around, but what kind of lark

1:10:33 > 1:10:36involves shooting the work experience with an air gun?

1:10:36 > 1:10:41(TV REPORTER) Chelsea say they are dealing with the matter internally.

1:10:41 > 1:10:44It's thought he'll be fined a quarter of a million by the club.

1:10:44 > 1:10:47Though that's just two weeks' salary for the player.

1:10:47 > 1:10:50Imagine you go to work and accidentally shoot Sonia from accounts.

1:10:50 > 1:10:54You know that's game over, career finished, probably a bit of time inside.

1:10:54 > 1:10:55Not Ashley Cole, though.

1:10:55 > 1:10:59I think what it was is that he went into football training

1:10:59 > 1:11:02thinking, "I want a change of career, I'm gonna try athletics."

1:11:02 > 1:11:05"In fact, I don't want to run, I want to be the guy who starts the race". Pow!

1:11:09 > 1:11:14Whispering in at number three, it's the controversial subject of...

1:11:14 > 1:11:15Sh.

1:11:15 > 1:11:17..super-injunctions

1:11:17 > 1:11:21and the growing list of celebrities that are taking them out like...

1:11:21 > 1:11:22Sh.

1:11:22 > 1:11:24I think you get the idea.

1:11:24 > 1:11:25# It's oh so quiet. #

1:11:27 > 1:11:29Super-injunctions are the new evil.

1:11:29 > 1:11:31It should be the same for everybody -

1:11:31 > 1:11:35if you want to play away and you're found out, you take the consequences.

1:11:39 > 1:11:42The annoying thing about it is it proves that,

1:11:42 > 1:11:45if you have a lot of money, you can try to protect your personal life.

1:11:45 > 1:11:49If you don't have a lot of money, then it's fair game for newspapers.

1:11:49 > 1:11:51Celebrities had it so easy

1:11:51 > 1:11:54when they could simply pay huge sums of money to keep details

1:11:54 > 1:11:58of their private lives safely locked away inside the British legal system.

1:11:58 > 1:12:02Pop star Howard Donald, journalist Andrew Marr,

1:12:02 > 1:12:05and presenter Jeremy Clarkson, have all been involved

1:12:05 > 1:12:08in gagging girls with their big super-injunctions.

1:12:09 > 1:12:13However, the most annoying case of super-injunctivitis this year

1:12:13 > 1:12:18involved hotty Imogen Thomas and a player who can only be identified as "CTB".

1:12:18 > 1:12:20But who is he?

1:12:22 > 1:12:24CTB. Who is he?

1:12:24 > 1:12:27Honestly I really have no idea. Do you know?

1:12:27 > 1:12:30If you don't know who CTB is,

1:12:30 > 1:12:32er, he's the one that slept with Imogen Thomas.

1:12:32 > 1:12:38He's a Premiership footballer and his name rhymes with "Brian".

1:12:40 > 1:12:43It was the most expensive worst-kept secret

1:12:43 > 1:12:46since the revelation that footballers like to sleep around.

1:12:47 > 1:12:50We all knew who it was. We knew who it was for ages.

1:12:52 > 1:12:56If I slept with Imogen Thomas, I would want the world to know.

1:12:56 > 1:12:58I would be selling my selling my story!

1:12:58 > 1:13:01I'd sell them pictures going, "Seriously, it actually happened!"

1:13:04 > 1:13:10Eventually, the super-injunction was exposed, not by the courts but by 75,000 Twitter users.

1:13:17 > 1:13:21People from the streets, or on social media networks said,

1:13:21 > 1:13:24"You know what, we can say what we want and we've got that power now."

1:13:26 > 1:13:31CTB tried to protect his hefty investment by threatening to sue the Twitter community.

1:13:31 > 1:13:34He had the audacity to suggest that 75,000 Twitter users

1:13:34 > 1:13:39might end up in court, so that he could protect a story, which, essentially, everybody knew about.

1:13:39 > 1:13:42That is just... It's unenforceable.

1:13:42 > 1:13:44You can't stop Twitter. You cannot stop Twitter.

1:13:44 > 1:13:47As far as I'm concerned, getting outed on Twitter

1:13:47 > 1:13:53was one of my highlights of 2011, because it's all he deserved.

1:13:57 > 1:14:02Although Imogen Thomas lost her legal battle, and is still gagged to this day,

1:14:02 > 1:14:06she has benefited from column inches and a revitalised career.

1:14:06 > 1:14:09To be honest with you, the only annoying thing is

1:14:09 > 1:14:12that Imogen Thomas is, you know, she's everywhere now.

1:14:12 > 1:14:15She did this article going, "I feel I've been objectified,

1:14:15 > 1:14:17"the way people are looking at me."

1:14:17 > 1:14:19"My flesh has now been consumed by the public."

1:14:19 > 1:14:22"I'm nothing but... I'm looked at as a slut and a sex object"

1:14:22 > 1:14:24And the next paper, she was in swimwear

1:14:24 > 1:14:26with a string up her arse

1:14:26 > 1:14:29and, honestly, a camel toe like the army of Saudi Arabia. It was unbelievable.

1:14:29 > 1:14:32"Stop objectifying me! Here's my vaj!"

1:14:32 > 1:14:36So, what's the way forward for super-injunctions in 2012?

1:14:36 > 1:14:39If you want to avoid the super-injunctions

1:14:39 > 1:14:42and all the embarrassment, how about you just don't do shit?

1:14:42 > 1:14:44How about that? How about you just behave?

1:14:44 > 1:14:47I'd love to be doing more gagging orders.

1:14:47 > 1:14:49I'd love to be up to my eyeballs in gagging orders.

1:14:49 > 1:14:54The truth is super-injunctions are really annoying

1:14:54 > 1:14:57and I really wish I could talk about them, but I can't!

1:14:57 > 1:15:01At number two, it's a real front-page shocker.

1:15:02 > 1:15:05It's been a ticking time bomb for some years,

1:15:05 > 1:15:08but in 2011 the scandal of phone hacking finally exploded.

1:15:08 > 1:15:12It's a story with so many candidates for most annoying.

1:15:12 > 1:15:16We could fill a programme trying to work out who was the worst,

1:15:16 > 1:15:22but there's no doubt which tabloid newspaper was singled out for the whole sorry mess.

1:15:22 > 1:15:25After 168 years of newspaper history, tonight,

1:15:25 > 1:15:29staff have been putting the finishing touches to the last edition of the News Of The World

1:15:29 > 1:15:32because of the latest phone-hacking allegations.

1:15:32 > 1:15:35News Of The World boss Rupert Murdoch made the shock decision

1:15:35 > 1:15:38to pull the plug on Britain's best selling newspaper

1:15:38 > 1:15:42when it was revealed in July that the tabloid's rife illegal phone hacking

1:15:42 > 1:15:44extended to victims of crime.

1:15:44 > 1:15:47It began with the devastating allegation that Milly Dowler's

1:15:47 > 1:15:53phone messages were listened to and deleted by a tabloid investigator.

1:15:53 > 1:15:58There's no defence for what News Of The World did. Not only was it illegal, but it was immoral.

1:15:58 > 1:16:02Just the audacity that they thought they could get away with this.

1:16:02 > 1:16:06They thought they could invade anyone's privacy, no matter the hell

1:16:06 > 1:16:08they were going through. I'm not sure where they are,

1:16:08 > 1:16:13but hopefully its cold and they're locked up. Yeah. but they're not, of course.

1:16:17 > 1:16:21Latest figures suggest the News Of The World listened in on over 5,000 individuals.

1:16:21 > 1:16:26But it wasn't just their mucky phone hacking habits that annoyed us.

1:16:26 > 1:16:30It was also the cosy relationship the paper and its owners enjoyed

1:16:30 > 1:16:31with the powers that be.

1:16:31 > 1:16:36Which may explain why it's taken so long for the scandal to become public.

1:16:37 > 1:16:41REPORTER: Revealed today the extraordinary links between two British institutions,

1:16:41 > 1:16:44Scotland Yard and News International.

1:16:44 > 1:16:48MPs described it as a revolving door between the two organisations,

1:16:48 > 1:16:51each acting like a job-placement scheme for the other.

1:16:51 > 1:16:55What's annoying is the fact that nobody did anything about it.

1:16:55 > 1:16:59The newspapers didn't do anything about it. The police didn't do anything about it.

1:16:59 > 1:17:02The politicians didn't do anything about it. It's just rancid.

1:17:02 > 1:17:05REPORTER: What about the current occupant of No 10?

1:17:05 > 1:17:09He's never been photographed with Mr Murdoch, even when he was invited to visit him,

1:17:09 > 1:17:12discreetly, just days after the last election.

1:17:12 > 1:17:15With the full extent of phone hacking becoming clear,

1:17:15 > 1:17:20politicians were given a chance in July to grill Rupert Murdoch about his knowledge of the scandal.

1:17:20 > 1:17:24But the occasion ended in farce when stand up comedian Jonnie Marbles stepped forward

1:17:24 > 1:17:28to let the News Of The World boss know exactly what he thought about him.

1:17:28 > 1:17:35I was the guy who threw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face.

1:17:35 > 1:17:38The foam on a plate was delivered by a member of the public,

1:17:38 > 1:17:43who was rewarded with a right hook from wife Wendy.

1:17:43 > 1:17:47The News Of The World spent so much time telling everyone else in the world off.

1:17:47 > 1:17:51At the same time, they hacked 5,000 people. They broke the law over and over again.

1:17:51 > 1:17:54It shows the moral hypocrisy on the part of the tabloids.

1:17:54 > 1:17:58You know, Rupert Murdoch's this almost Bond villianesque figure.

1:17:58 > 1:18:01I had a plan in my head to try and say something sort of witty and acerbic,

1:18:01 > 1:18:07but what I ended up saying was, "You naughty billionaire," which didn't really cover it.

1:18:07 > 1:18:13But, for some, Jonnie's gesture was almost as annoying as hacking itself.

1:18:13 > 1:18:16I thought he was a bit of a dick. It was just getting good

1:18:16 > 1:18:18and he kind of let Murdoch off the hook a bit.

1:18:18 > 1:18:22Who goes round assaulting 80-year-old men, anyway? Grow up, mate.

1:18:22 > 1:18:25He threw shaving foam in Rupert Murdoch's face,

1:18:25 > 1:18:26where it's meant to go.

1:18:26 > 1:18:29It's like throwing a custard pie in someone's mouth.

1:18:29 > 1:18:32Despite spending two weeks in jail for common assault,

1:18:32 > 1:18:35Jonnie makes no apology for his stunt.

1:18:35 > 1:18:37My only real regret from the whole thing

1:18:37 > 1:18:41is that I pled guilty at the trial, because it would've been real fun

1:18:41 > 1:18:44to call Rupert Murdoch as a witness and just do it all over again.

1:18:45 > 1:18:48The scandal rumbles on.

1:18:48 > 1:18:53Most annoying of 2012? Hold the front page.

1:18:53 > 1:18:55Well, at least on certain newspapers.

1:19:02 > 1:19:06And that's almost your lot. It's been another year full of maddening moments.

1:19:06 > 1:19:08HE IMITATES KLAXON

1:19:08 > 1:19:11- 'We've had naughty action heroes...' - AS ARNIE: I'm going to come!

1:19:11 > 1:19:13'..the sexist TV pundits...'

1:19:13 > 1:19:16- Women don't know the offside rule. - Of course they don't!

1:19:16 > 1:19:20- '..cringeworthy cricketers.' - It's just so un-Australian, Shane!

1:19:20 > 1:19:22'..and dumb footballers.'

1:19:22 > 1:19:24That's Mario. He's a confused guy.

1:19:24 > 1:19:26'We've been irked by Essex girls.'

1:19:26 > 1:19:27Shut up.

1:19:27 > 1:19:31- 'And Geordie boys.' - I just want to get them pissed, get them back and bang them.

1:19:31 > 1:19:34'Left astounded by celebrity weddings...'

1:19:34 > 1:19:37- Kim Kardashian does it again. - '..and fallen fashionistas.'

1:19:37 > 1:19:40Oh, my God. Anti-Semitism's so hot, right now!

1:19:40 > 1:19:44- 'We've gone from barmy bankers...' - I go to bed every night, I dream of another recession.

1:19:44 > 1:19:48- '..to proper plankers.' - "Hey, guess what I did last night? Some serious planking!"

1:19:48 > 1:19:50'From terrible twins...'

1:19:50 > 1:19:53(BOTH) J to the E to the D to the ward! Planet Jedward!

1:19:53 > 1:19:54'..to pervy pop stars.'

1:19:54 > 1:19:56She's gone and slutted it up.

1:19:56 > 1:20:00- 'Every single one of them managed to irritate us.' - Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh!

1:20:00 > 1:20:02We can safely say that none of them annoyed the nation

1:20:02 > 1:20:07as much as the mob who rampaged their way to our top spot.

1:20:11 > 1:20:15August 2011 saw us shocked by mayhem and destruction

1:20:15 > 1:20:18on a scale not seen on English streets for 30 years.

1:20:21 > 1:20:25Almost every shop on this high street has been trashed and looted

1:20:25 > 1:20:29and it's only in the past few minutes that the police have arrived in any numbers.

1:20:32 > 1:20:39Anger in Tottenham at the fatal shooting by police of young father Mark Duggan

1:20:39 > 1:20:43led to rioting in the area that then fireballed out of control throughout the capital.

1:20:44 > 1:20:50I don't know why people... Oh, my God! I don't know why people do this.

1:20:51 > 1:20:56You don't think these sort of things would happen especially in, you know, leafy Enfield.

1:20:58 > 1:21:05There were so many young 14, 15, 16-year-old youths just everywhere.

1:21:07 > 1:21:11My TV was stuck on News 24 and Sky News

1:21:11 > 1:21:13going back and forth, getting the latest updates.

1:21:13 > 1:21:17I think even missed EastEnders. I missed EastEnders to watch the news!

1:21:18 > 1:21:21Over four nights, mobs of youths, some as young as 11 and 12,

1:21:21 > 1:21:26ran rampage, using social networking as a means of encouraging others to loot and riot

1:21:26 > 1:21:31as the disorder spread out of London to cities like Birmingham and Manchester.

1:21:31 > 1:21:33The police can't do nothing.

1:21:33 > 1:21:36So it's a like a freedom act, innit? Do whatever you want today, mate.

1:21:38 > 1:21:41What was really annoying is that all over the Arab world,

1:21:41 > 1:21:45young people were rising up and overturning their governments.

1:21:45 > 1:21:50Our young people were standing around in designer sportswear, messaging on their Blackberrys,

1:21:50 > 1:21:52talking about how hard done by they were

1:21:52 > 1:21:57and rising up for a new pair of trainers and a fresh TV. Like...

1:21:57 > 1:22:03They interviewed one girl and the question they asked was why are you doing this?

1:22:03 > 1:22:05"Well, I had to get my taxes back, innit?"

1:22:05 > 1:22:06This is a 15-year-old child.

1:22:06 > 1:22:09People would text going, "Are you all right, mate?

1:22:09 > 1:22:14"Cars are on fire, shops are being looted, people getting smashed up."

1:22:14 > 1:22:16"Are you safe?"

1:22:16 > 1:22:21So I would text back, "Can't talk now, trying on my brand-new pair of Nike Air High Tops."

1:22:26 > 1:22:27With homes and cars destroyed,

1:22:27 > 1:22:31it was surely time for Dave "Hug A Hoodie" Cameron to sort it out.

1:22:32 > 1:22:36That got me the most angry. David Cameron's away on holiday.

1:22:36 > 1:22:40What's going on, David? He has no excuse for that, no excuse. I'll never forgive him.

1:22:40 > 1:22:42Not returning his calls at all.

1:22:46 > 1:22:49On the front pages of the papers it was "Britain Burning"

1:22:49 > 1:22:53and him just sipping a limonata on a terrace somewhere.

1:22:53 > 1:22:54Tuscany, actually.

1:22:54 > 1:22:58OK, so time for deputy Nick Clegg to step in.

1:22:58 > 1:23:00No, Spain. The Home Secretary.

1:23:00 > 1:23:02Switzerland. Get the Mayor, then.

1:23:02 > 1:23:05Boris is still in Canada. Get him back here!

1:23:09 > 1:23:13There was so much negativity that went on with the riots

1:23:13 > 1:23:15that, being British, we had to make light of it.

1:23:15 > 1:23:21We had to make something funny out of it. Some of the most hilarious things I heard about were the looters.

1:23:21 > 1:23:24Someone running out of a Pound shop.

1:23:24 > 1:23:27That has got to be the most rubbish loot ever.

1:23:27 > 1:23:31A £1 multi-pack bag of crisps.

1:23:32 > 1:23:37Running into a footwear shop and running out with six pairs of shoes

1:23:37 > 1:23:41and being like, "Yeah!" But then they were all the left foot.

1:23:43 > 1:23:46Some were tweeting on Twitter about what they were doing!

1:23:49 > 1:23:51It taught us how stupid some people in London are.

1:23:51 > 1:23:55If you're going to go and get something and get away with it,

1:23:55 > 1:24:00and there's a chance you're gonna get caught, don't come and loot basmati rice. It doesn't make sense.

1:24:00 > 1:24:05Did you see how pleased that kid was with it? He was trying to make it look really gangster.

1:24:05 > 1:24:06That big bag of basmati

1:24:06 > 1:24:09and him throwing, I think, the finger guns at it.

1:24:09 > 1:24:12There is nothing gangster about basmati rice.

1:24:12 > 1:24:17Pilau yes, we all know that(!) Safe. Down with that.

1:24:18 > 1:24:20This will carry on for days, innit?

1:24:20 > 1:24:26The many theories suggested as to the cause of this mid-summer madness

1:24:26 > 1:24:30included over-long school holidays, rap music and violent video games.

1:24:30 > 1:24:33Some scientists even claimed it was all down to geo-magnetic storms

1:24:33 > 1:24:37hitting the Earth and affecting human behaviour.

1:24:37 > 1:24:41We saw you and your friends smash in the windows of Dixons and you took a plasma.

1:24:41 > 1:24:44"Yeah, but, that's because the planet got hit by a meteor, innit?"

1:24:44 > 1:24:47That made me, like, t'ief a Samsung LED.

1:24:47 > 1:24:49That's like going to court and saying,

1:24:49 > 1:24:52"I'm sorry but Mystic Meg said that I must riot today,

1:24:52 > 1:24:53"because I'm a Virgo

1:24:53 > 1:24:59"and it says that the solar flares will cause me to smash in the window of a sports store".

1:25:00 > 1:25:03Annoyed all the politicians were away topping up their tans,

1:25:03 > 1:25:07the traumatised public took to Twitter to rally an army of their own.

1:25:07 > 1:25:10I love the Twitter Clean Up Britain campaign.

1:25:10 > 1:25:12I think it was really good

1:25:12 > 1:25:14and I'm glad that that we had to come together by ourselves,

1:25:14 > 1:25:18because we have the knowledge and strength, as Britonians, to come together

1:25:18 > 1:25:21and sort out the mess the Government should sort out.

1:25:21 > 1:25:26I think it's important to restore people's faith in mankind, basically.

1:25:26 > 1:25:28It's beautiful to see that people actually do care.

1:25:28 > 1:25:33When Boris finally did arrive, there were questions to be answered.

1:25:33 > 1:25:37- CROWD: Where's your broom? Where's your broom? - I just want to say thank you

1:25:37 > 1:25:41to everybody who's come out here today to volunteer to help clear up the mess.

1:25:41 > 1:25:45Thank you. You are the true spirit of this city.

1:25:45 > 1:25:47THEY CHEER

1:25:59 > 1:26:04So there you go. 2011's most annoying people taken to task.

1:26:04 > 1:26:06Thank you. It was a lot of fun.

1:26:06 > 1:26:08Brilliant. Thank you so much.

1:26:08 > 1:26:13No doubt, next year will throw up some new additions to the most annoying hall of infamy.

1:26:13 > 1:26:14All right. I'm done.

1:26:14 > 1:26:18Girls Aloud are dusting off the cobwebs for their tenth anniversary tour.

1:26:18 > 1:26:22England's underperforming footballers are off to the European Championship.

1:26:23 > 1:26:27Then, of course, we have the Olympics to look forward to.

1:26:27 > 1:26:30Here's to an annoying 2012.

1:26:45 > 1:26:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:26:48 > 1:26:51E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk