31/12/2011

0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains adult humour and some strong language.

0:00:24 > 0:00:28I'm Darryn Lyons and I'm one of this year's most annoying celebrities.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31Giddy up, God bless you.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34Welcome to this year's collection of the most annoying people of 2011.

0:00:34 > 0:00:36Hi, are you all right?

0:00:36 > 0:00:37ARGH!

0:00:39 > 0:00:42We're going to have a good time, whatever happens.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46In Britain, the more wrong it goes, the more we like it.

0:00:46 > 0:00:51A year where being an annoying celebrity has reached epic new proportions.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Celebrities are always annoying people.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Over the past 12 months, we've been drawing up a hit list

0:00:56 > 0:00:59of the most annoying people from around the globe.

0:00:59 > 0:01:04- This beautiful flower for you.- He's lucky Madonna didn't take that hydrangea and slap him.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- Pop stars.- Hello, everybody.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11- Politicians.- I'll never forgive him. I'm not returning his calls at all.

0:01:11 > 0:01:12Phone hackers.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16Staff have been putting the finishing touches to the last edition

0:01:16 > 0:01:20of the News of the World because of the latest phone-hacking allegations.

0:01:20 > 0:01:25All the ones that have done their best to rattle our cages and trouble our Twitter.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26What do you think of all this?

0:01:26 > 0:01:28It's nothing less than huge.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30We've got superstar meltdowns...

0:01:30 > 0:01:35All he talked about was hookers and drugs and money, and he's really lost.

0:01:35 > 0:01:40- ..super-injunctions... - How about you just don't do shit? How about that?

0:01:40 > 0:01:41How about you just behave?

0:01:41 > 0:01:43..and some super-enhanced bodies.

0:01:43 > 0:01:47I can walk around with a T-shirt that says, "Call my agent". I'm annoying.

0:01:47 > 0:01:52Geordies and gypsies gave TV a whole new breed of extra-annoying reality stars.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55I thank God for everything He's done for me.

0:01:55 > 0:02:00Any girl that spits in a man's face is a girl I want to be rolling with.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06Pop's divas continued their battle of shock and awe...

0:02:06 > 0:02:10Whips and chains. Does she want to be a jockey, a dog handler?

0:02:10 > 0:02:13..whilst Justin Bieber just stank of his own perfume.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Is it for girls?

0:02:15 > 0:02:19- Katie Price got herself a new man... - I haven't got a particular type.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21..Shane Warne got a new face...

0:02:21 > 0:02:25There's nothing more annoying in a man than a badly-plucked eyebrow.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28..and, never one to be outdone, Lindsay Lohan got herself a new prison sentence.

0:02:28 > 0:02:33The fact that she just wants to nick things is just appalling.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35# I wanna sing

0:02:35 > 0:02:37# I wanna shout

0:02:37 > 0:02:41# I wanna scream till the words dry out... #

0:02:41 > 0:02:442011 has also been the year of the unexpected.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48Looters and rioters shattered our big cities.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Across the world, a new breed of sluts reclaimed the streets.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55It's an attempt to reclaim the word "slut" itself.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59An old boy preacher predicted the end of the world.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Did I say today? I mean next year, sorry, sorry.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05But no-one could have predicted that a bridesmaid's derriere

0:03:05 > 0:03:08would steal the limelight from a Royal bride.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Pippa's bum just took over the nation.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Whilst girls were busy saying, "I do",

0:03:13 > 0:03:18the boys were busy saying, "I don't want politicians on my ward..."

0:03:18 > 0:03:20I'm not having it. Now, out.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22"..don't want women referees..."

0:03:22 > 0:03:25For some reason, the offside rule is apparently like kryptonite to us.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28"..and don't to talk about my 13-year-old illegitimate love child."

0:03:28 > 0:03:33AS SCHWARZENEGGER: And from the cleaner, I had a child. Don't tell anyone.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37So, coming up, we've got loser looters, barking brides,

0:03:37 > 0:03:40a pie-wielding comedian and even a talking orange.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- Hey, Apple!- What?- You look fruity!

0:03:43 > 0:03:44ORANGE LAUGHS

0:03:44 > 0:03:49So, sit back and vent with vehemence as we introduce the most pesky,

0:03:49 > 0:03:54the most irksome, and most annoying irritants of 2011.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02We begin our most annoying journey with the shocking tale

0:04:02 > 0:04:06of ex-cricketer Shane Warne's voyage into metrosexuality.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07He was rugged.

0:04:07 > 0:04:08Loves a lager.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10He bulky and he's burly.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13He had foibles. He had faults.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16His hair smelt of cigarettes. He was pure man.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19He didn't really even look like he showered, let alone groomed.

0:04:19 > 0:04:24Butch Aussie, macho beer-drinking, pie-eating, baked bean-eating

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Aussie man. What's happened to Warnie?

0:04:31 > 0:04:34He's been...changed.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36She's kind of pulled him in.

0:04:36 > 0:04:41She's got this kind of, you know, bewitching way about her.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44And it's interesting that Liz Hurley once played the Devil in a film

0:04:44 > 0:04:49because there's something wrong with this.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Liz has got her claws and teeth and Estee Lauder

0:04:53 > 0:04:58and Botox. It's just so un-Australian, Shane.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02# Man, I feel like a woman... #

0:05:02 > 0:05:05What has he had done to his face?

0:05:05 > 0:05:09He's gone a strange shade of orange.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12There is nothing more annoying in a man than a badly-plucked eyebrow.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Tweezers can be deadly in the wrong hands.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19It's so kind of swollen, and he's had his teeth done,

0:05:19 > 0:05:23it looks like, and his lips look weird.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Is he so whipped up into some kind of sexual frenzy by Elizabeth,

0:05:26 > 0:05:29that he literally can't think any more?

0:05:29 > 0:05:31It's a fascinating situation.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Well, it would be fascinating if it wasn't so annoying.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Next on our list of annoyance...

0:05:42 > 0:05:46..what could be nicer than a nice refreshing ice cream?

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Surely, nothing to get annoyed about here.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Rum and raisin, raspberry ripple.

0:05:51 > 0:05:52# Ra, ra, ah-ah-ah... #

0:05:52 > 0:05:56Not for this new Covent Garden ice cream emporium.

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Breast milk.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01My three boys have all been raised on breast milk.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04It's the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07It's beautiful, organic, free-range, totally natural,

0:06:07 > 0:06:10good enough for my kids, good enough for our ice cream.

0:06:10 > 0:06:12# You're as cold as ice... #

0:06:12 > 0:06:16In February this year, the arrival of Baby Gaga ice cream,

0:06:16 > 0:06:21churned from the breast milk of a mum from Leeds, caused something of a meltdown.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Sorry, the thought of it makes me feel quite ill.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Oh, God.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27No, thank you.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29OK...

0:06:29 > 0:06:31I think it's a bit of a yuck factor, isn't it?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33It smells fine.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37Disgusting. Appalling. Gag-inducing.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I don't want to taste breast milk.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42I don't even want to taste my own breast milk and I certainly,

0:06:42 > 0:06:44God help me, don't want to taste yours.

0:06:44 > 0:06:48You're bound to have a yuck factor with a breast-milk ice cream.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53But when you think about it, it's the most natural thing in the world.

0:06:53 > 0:06:59Westminster Council didn't agree, and seized the titty tutti frutti,

0:06:59 > 0:07:02but after vigorous testing, had to admit they'd boobed

0:07:02 > 0:07:04and it went back on sale to a doubtful public.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08Aah, here we go.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15Mmm, oh, that is actually...

0:07:15 > 0:07:16That's pretty good, yeah.

0:07:16 > 0:07:21What kind of a person with normal mental health

0:07:21 > 0:07:26wants to eat breast-milk ice cream?

0:07:26 > 0:07:28- CREEPILY:- "Can I have a breast-milk ice cream, please?"

0:07:28 > 0:07:30That's all it's going to attract.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32"Can you just put one sultana on top of the...

0:07:32 > 0:07:34"on top there, yes?"

0:07:34 > 0:07:36"Can I have some hundreds and thousands for the areola?"

0:07:36 > 0:07:40I think it's disgusting, yeah. Not very nice.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42What if I develop a taste for it?

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Where do I go from there?

0:07:44 > 0:07:48I start breaking into hospitals, going up to sleeping women.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Someone's breastfeeding their kid on a bus and I get involved

0:07:50 > 0:07:52and then I'm the creep, I'm the loser,

0:07:52 > 0:07:54I'm on the front page of the paper - "pervert".

0:07:54 > 0:07:57# Ra, ra, ah-ah-ah... #

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Even more annoyed was pop superstar Lady Gaga,

0:07:59 > 0:08:04who called the product "nausea-inducing" and detrimental to her image,

0:08:04 > 0:08:08and threatened legal action unless it was taken off sale.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12She's just annoyed she didn't think of it first.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Next time she comes on stage, she can come on as a giant breast

0:08:15 > 0:08:18and just literally be spurted onto the stage amidst milk.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22I thought she would just turn it into a publicity stunt

0:08:22 > 0:08:27and just be in the kitchen with two suckers attached to her boobs going, # Ooh, la, la-la-la! #

0:08:28 > 0:08:31That's the most crazy woman that we've got.

0:08:31 > 0:08:35When you go crazy, you go Lady Gaga and SHE thought it was strange.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Get it off the shelves, seriously. It's weird.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41# Want your bad romance. #

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Have you got any more?

0:08:45 > 0:08:47At 48, it's the vajazzle queen.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52# When I grow up I wanna be famous... #

0:08:52 > 0:08:57It's been a year of an annoyingly high profile for tabloid darling Amy Childs.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00She's the girl who shot to fame on TV show The Only Way is Essex

0:09:00 > 0:09:05for her intimate female decorating skills, and not much else.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Amy Childs is annoying because

0:09:07 > 0:09:10all she's basically doing is putting sequins on vaginas.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13How does that make you worthy of my attention?

0:09:13 > 0:09:14Er, shut up.

0:09:14 > 0:09:17She's not particularly talented or intelligent.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25She said something about wanting to be the next Jordan or something,

0:09:25 > 0:09:27and that's...

0:09:27 > 0:09:31What a fabulously annoying aspiration to have!

0:09:31 > 0:09:37Amy's strategy for becoming this year's Katie Price began by waving goodbye to her TOWIE roots

0:09:37 > 0:09:40to join other red-carpet Z-listers on this year's Celebrity Big Brother.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44For Amy, going on Big Brother was just sort of a natural step for her.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48I mean, she was being cut out of TOWIE because... she wasn't that interesting.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53In what is essentially just a televised popularity contest,

0:09:53 > 0:09:57she finished behind Jedward and behind Kerry Katona -

0:09:57 > 0:10:01a woman who can't even be paid to advertise frozen buffets any more.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04Is that really what you want on your CV? I don't know.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07She may have been a turn-off on Big Brother, but with her very own

0:10:07 > 0:10:11Channel 5 reality show and a big money supermarket ad campaign,

0:10:11 > 0:10:15it looks like Amy's annoying fame is set to continue.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18Maybe we're all just "well jeal".

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Just because she's been on telly, she's now quite a big celebrity.

0:10:21 > 0:10:26The word celebrity, it used to mean something. It feels dirty now.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28I'm jealous of Amy Childs, you know.

0:10:28 > 0:10:32I'm going to grow my hair long, get my tits done, get some fake tan on.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34I'm there. I'm made.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Apparating in at 47...

0:10:37 > 0:10:40After seven kids' books, eight movies

0:10:40 > 0:10:46and over £10 billion profits, we can finally say goodbye to perky Harry.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48# I'm kissing you goodbye... #

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Harry Potter.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52- Harry Potter, I can't believe it. - And his big Harry wand.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54I can't believe it's over.

0:10:54 > 0:10:59It's absolutely been a bad spell of Harry Potter all the way through

0:10:59 > 0:11:03and me, for one, I'm glad that 2011 marks the end of Harry Potter.

0:11:03 > 0:11:07# I'm kissing you goodbye... #

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Fine with children enjoying Harry Potter. Not OK with adults.

0:11:10 > 0:11:13I've been to quite a few of the premieres before,

0:11:13 > 0:11:16but I've never managed to get any autographs,

0:11:16 > 0:11:18so, hopefully, today I'll do that.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22My friends are like, "You've got to read the book. It's really good!"

0:11:22 > 0:11:25I'll tell you what I really hate about Harry Potter -

0:11:25 > 0:11:28people telling me that I have to read Harry Potter.

0:11:28 > 0:11:34A long time ago, I read... the first two books.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36They're like, "But you're going to love this one."

0:11:36 > 0:11:38No, I know I won't love this!

0:11:38 > 0:11:39It's amazing!

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Hogwarts. Even the word is ridiculous.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Harry Potter is the most annoying, cos I don't know any others.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Is there a Dumbledorf? Is he a child? I don't like him.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Is there a Dumbledorf, though?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Doobledorf?- Dumbledore. - I don't care.

0:11:53 > 0:11:57I don't like him. I don't like him. There's a kid with red hair. I don't like him.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59There's a girl. I don't like her.

0:11:59 > 0:12:03But is this the last we will ever see of Potter and Co?

0:12:03 > 0:12:08- It's not over.- JK Rowling will not let it go. She's like, "It's over!

0:12:08 > 0:12:11"I'm done. Here's a theme park!" "It's over. I'm done. Here's a website!"

0:12:11 > 0:12:15I'm sure the film companies will find another way to wring

0:12:15 > 0:12:19more money out of Hogwarts and JK Rowling and Harry Potter.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22There'll be a Harry Potter burger, or God knows what, but something.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24They're not going to let that go.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27SCREAMING

0:12:29 > 0:12:34At number 46, we've got a case of an inappropriate erection.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37Two and a half years after his death,

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Michael Jackson is still making news

0:12:39 > 0:12:43but the crime in question wasn't anything to do with dodgy doctors

0:12:43 > 0:12:46but the vision of the King of Kensington, Mohammed Al Fayed.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49The ex-Harrods boss and Jackson fan belatedly decided

0:12:49 > 0:12:53he wanted to pay tribute to the King of Pop by commissioning

0:12:53 > 0:12:56a brand-new life-sized statue.

0:12:56 > 0:13:01Al Fayed was following in a long line of other artistic attempts.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04Back in 1988, we had pop artist Jeff Koons' kitsch porcelain.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07Look at the expression on his face in that one.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10When you've got a monkey on your lap, you shouldn't look like that.

0:13:10 > 0:13:14Earlier this year, we saw Maria von Kohler's freaky tribute

0:13:14 > 0:13:16to Jackson's parenting skills unveiled in London.

0:13:16 > 0:13:20I reckon every statue is supposed to encourage us.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22That's how we should be in life. This is wrong.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24And, of course, we can't forget

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Michael's OWN unassuming little number back in 1995.

0:13:27 > 0:13:31One of the moments when Michael Jackson's career

0:13:31 > 0:13:34was essentially considered to be over, was when he decided to

0:13:34 > 0:13:41bring down, on a barge on the Thames, a huge statue of himself.

0:13:41 > 0:13:45So, how and where would the eccentric Egyptian pay homage?

0:13:48 > 0:13:51Fans of the Fulham football club he owns got the hump

0:13:51 > 0:13:54when he decided that their home ground, Craven Cottage -

0:13:54 > 0:13:58a place Jacko had visited ONCE back in 1999 -

0:13:58 > 0:14:04was the ideal place for his own personal memorial to the deceased pop star.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07We all know he lived and breathed Fulham.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10Some of his best songs are about Fulham - Black and White,

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Bad - last season against Stoke, that's what he wrote it about.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15# I'm bad, I'm bad

0:14:15 > 0:14:16# Really, really bad

0:14:16 > 0:14:19# You know I'm bad, I'm bad

0:14:19 > 0:14:21# You know it... #

0:14:21 > 0:14:25It looks cheap. For a man as rich as he is, he could have thrown

0:14:25 > 0:14:29a bit more money at it and made it look...just respectable.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32It looks like it's been painted by a kid.

0:14:32 > 0:14:37I've been coming here for 35 years and that's the silliest thing I've ever seen.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40The actual statue looks more like Michael

0:14:40 > 0:14:46than the Michael we know himself. It's so much more plastic, just like how Michael's supposed to be.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49It makes the club look silly. It's completely out of place.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51I don't know what it's got to do with.

0:14:51 > 0:14:55It might seem an unlikely place to pay tribute to Michael Jackson,

0:14:55 > 0:15:00but chairman Mohammed Al Fayed insisted everyone share in his enthusiasm.

0:15:00 > 0:15:05If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift

0:15:05 > 0:15:09this guy gave to the world, you know, they can just go to hell.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11- # Beat it - Beat it

0:15:11 > 0:15:12- # Beat it - Beat it... #

0:15:12 > 0:15:16Normally, when fans are critical of a football chairman,

0:15:16 > 0:15:19the chairman does that very PR sort of thing of saying, you know,

0:15:19 > 0:15:23"I respect your opinions, but this is something that's going to happen."

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Al Fayed just doesn't get it.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28He told them to go to hell and, if they want, go and support Chelsea.

0:15:28 > 0:15:33That's how it should be done. It should be that level of honesty. I own the place. You jump on board.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35- # Just beat it - Beat it

0:15:35 > 0:15:36- # Beat it - Beat it... #

0:15:36 > 0:15:40Mr Al Fayed wasn't the only celeb splashing his cash this year.

0:15:42 > 0:15:46It's time for us to take a quick diversion to our top five chart

0:15:46 > 0:15:50of 2011's most annoying celebrity spenders.

0:15:50 > 0:15:51It's a girl's dream.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55At number five, it's the Hollywood A-list couple who let the train take the strain.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Brad and Angelina wanted to go to Glasgow, where he was filming.

0:15:58 > 0:16:03Most average people would get a train, or even a coach.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06But no, we are going to charter our own train because we are

0:16:06 > 0:16:11Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and we need a whole train to ourselves. It was about 60,000 to do the trip.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Can you imagine chartering a whole train just for yourselves?

0:16:15 > 0:16:20In at four, it's the world's most expensively dressed child.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23I defy anyone to show me

0:16:23 > 0:16:25a more spoiled child than five-year-old Suri Cruise.

0:16:25 > 0:16:30Suri is the daughter of megastars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

0:16:30 > 0:16:36This is a little girl who has a £3 million wardrobe at the age of five.

0:16:36 > 0:16:42When Balenciaga is designing your little girl's high heels, you've got a big problem.

0:16:42 > 0:16:48At number three it's Kate Moss, who this year treated herself to her very own vineyard.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52What's up with popping down the offy like everyone else?

0:16:52 > 0:16:56I don't know if buying a vineyard is a good idea. She does like a drink.

0:16:56 > 0:17:01At number two, it's Beyonce, who managed to annoy us by splashing

0:17:01 > 0:17:0490 grand in 90 minutes on a shopping trip to London's Oxford Street.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07The best thing was she went to Top Shop.

0:17:07 > 0:17:11How do you spend 90 grand in Top Shop?

0:17:11 > 0:17:15But even Beyonce's speed shopping looks like small change

0:17:15 > 0:17:18next to our most annoying celebrity spenders of the year.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20The Ecclestone sisters.

0:17:20 > 0:17:24It's really horrible the way they're so crass with their money.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28They're some, like, really bad tacky '80s family,

0:17:28 > 0:17:32that have just like, made all their money, buying all this crass stuff -

0:17:32 > 0:17:33where's the humbleness gone?

0:17:33 > 0:17:40When it comes to annoying celebrity spending, no-one can compete with Tamara and Petra Ecclestone,

0:17:40 > 0:17:43the daughters of billionaire Formula One boss, Bernie Ecclestone.

0:17:43 > 0:17:44With Daddy being so rich,

0:17:44 > 0:17:48Petra had no problem forking out £12 million on her wedding

0:17:48 > 0:17:52this year, and then snapped up a modest little place for when she's in LA.

0:17:52 > 0:17:57Petra Ecclestone bought the Spelling mansion for over 80 million.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01I definitely think, in this age of austerity, that people who are

0:18:01 > 0:18:06splashing their cash is really not something that people want to see any more.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10Not to be outdone by her little sis, Tamara also hit the headlines

0:18:10 > 0:18:13this year, when she blew £1 million on a new bath.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Yes, that's a million pounds on a bath.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21The fact that Tamara Ecclestone recently added a £1 million

0:18:21 > 0:18:26crystal bath tub to her £45 million Chelsea apartment is selfish,

0:18:26 > 0:18:30I find it indulgent and I find it a little bit disgusting.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32A million pound...on a bath?!

0:18:32 > 0:18:37What's annoying about having a £1 million crystal bath

0:18:37 > 0:18:42is you're still going to have to clean the pubes out of it.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Back to business at 45, the question of cash gets even dirtier.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50# Money, money, money, money... #

0:18:50 > 0:18:54Most British high streets are not awash with cash or million-pound baths.

0:18:54 > 0:18:58This year, as the world's financial downturn continued,

0:18:58 > 0:19:03the public became increasingly angry at the role bankers and traders played in the recession.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05So, back in September, when one motormouth money man

0:19:05 > 0:19:09appeared on the BBC News channel, he really got us annoyed.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13A plan was announced to pump two trillion euros

0:19:13 > 0:19:17into the eurozone bailout funds, and all I knew

0:19:17 > 0:19:19from the guidance I'd been given

0:19:19 > 0:19:22is that I was going to be getting reaction to this

0:19:22 > 0:19:26'from a man called Alessio Rastani, who was an independent day trader.'

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Right, can you pin down exactly what would keep investors happy,

0:19:30 > 0:19:32make them feel more confident?

0:19:32 > 0:19:37I happened to be watching when... What's his name now?

0:19:37 > 0:19:40A man so anonymous, even HE hadn't heard of himself.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43It doesn't matter how much money they want to put in,

0:19:43 > 0:19:45it's not going to work.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48We do a lot of these interviews where people don't necessarily

0:19:48 > 0:19:51give you a particularly memorable sound bite,

0:19:51 > 0:19:54but this man turned out to be really rather different.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57The market is toast. The stock market is finished.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59The governments don't rule the world,

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Goldman Sachs rules the world.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03If I see an opportunity to make money, I go with that.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06He pretty much pointed out the economy is falling apart.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08- We knew that anyway.- Yeah.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10He was wearing a pink tie. That was quite annoying.

0:20:10 > 0:20:14We don't really care that much how they're going to fix the economy,

0:20:14 > 0:20:17how they're going to fix the whole situation.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19Our job is to make money from it.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21They guy was just expressing

0:20:21 > 0:20:25what many thousands of bankers are thinking.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28I go to bed, I dream of another recession, of another moment like this.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31'There was this sort of intake of breath.'

0:20:31 > 0:20:35There was this metaphorical and literal collective dropping of jaws.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38What I meant was I dream of a market crash

0:20:38 > 0:20:41and that's kind of strange for a lot of people.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Why would anyone be dreaming of a market crash? Isn't that a bad thing?

0:20:44 > 0:20:47For God's sake, I dream of werewolves and flying,

0:20:47 > 0:20:50but you don't see me on the news crowing on about it.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53The biggest risk people can take right now is not acting.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57- Do you dream about the economy at night?- I try not to.- Yeah.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00'As I walked out of that TV studio on that day,'

0:21:00 > 0:21:02I noticed that something was wrong.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06Even the people around me in the studio and the reception

0:21:06 > 0:21:09were looking at me - they'd seen what I'd just said on TV.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11I sensed there's something different, something wrong.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15And the reaction by the end of that night was huge -

0:21:15 > 0:21:18newspapers talking about it. The next day, reporters calling me.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21I've got Forbes Magazine, New York Magazine calling me

0:21:21 > 0:21:25and I couldn't understand what's going on, so it was unbelievable.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- # Money talks - Listen... #

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Alessio's outspoken claims

0:21:30 > 0:21:34were dismissed by some as attention-seeking antics,

0:21:34 > 0:21:38but they did attract invitations from the biggest names on TV to explain himself.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41His whole attitude was quite annoying.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Apparently, he's going to get very rich off of this depression now

0:21:44 > 0:21:47and we have to do something about it. I'll get annoyed.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50I'll throw a brick through my television next time I see him on there.

0:21:50 > 0:21:54I heard that I'd been selected for the most annoying people of 2011.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57I think, if anything, I've been annoyingly accurate.

0:21:57 > 0:22:02What he's actually done, is he's told us where bankers stand

0:22:02 > 0:22:06and much as many of us thought, it's directly behind us

0:22:06 > 0:22:09with a scalpel, draining us of our life blood.

0:22:09 > 0:22:13- # Money talks - Listen... #

0:22:13 > 0:22:19At 44, it's the rapper who's getting more famous for his rants than his rhymes.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25Kanye West - the man that put the C into rap.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Kanye is definitely the most self-absorbed

0:22:28 > 0:22:30and conceited rapper out there, because he's under

0:22:30 > 0:22:32the assumption that everyone is constantly

0:22:32 > 0:22:35concerned with him and what he's doing in his personal life.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Whining West took annoyance to new heights this year

0:22:38 > 0:22:42when he elevated himself to being up there with the most hated man in history.

0:22:42 > 0:22:46My God, Kanye, you've done it this time. Comparing himself, now, to Hitler.

0:22:46 > 0:22:53# Springtime for Hitler, and Germany... #

0:22:53 > 0:22:56Unfair, obviously. Hitler at least had some people that liked him.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00# Don't speak I know just what you're saying... #

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Even that comparison, he meant it as like, "Ah, I'm a victim".

0:23:03 > 0:23:06But you're still comparing yourself to a man

0:23:06 > 0:23:08who tried to take over the world.

0:23:08 > 0:23:12It's still arrogant. No matter what he says, it's arrogant.

0:23:12 > 0:23:16Comparing yourself to Hitler is a bit extreme, and it's going to make headlines.

0:23:16 > 0:23:20He's definitely courting a little controversy, and he loves that.

0:23:20 > 0:23:25Whenever I hear him talk, I think, remember when he had a car accident and had his jaw wired shut?

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Those were good times.

0:23:27 > 0:23:33Renowned for his own bizarre sense of style, Kanye's next annoyance in 2011

0:23:33 > 0:23:35was a bid to become king of the catwalk,

0:23:35 > 0:23:40launching his very own diffusion line for dames at Paris Fashion Week.

0:23:40 > 0:23:45His fashion collection? Annoying and a huge, huge disaster.

0:23:45 > 0:23:50Now he's taken to leading a line in fashion of harem pants and ladies' cardigans.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53What? What is going on there?

0:23:53 > 0:23:55The stuff that he created for Louis Vuitton

0:23:55 > 0:23:59made me throw up in the store and then I had to purchase the shoes.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03With the fashion fallout, what should the Hitler of hip-hop do next?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Your music is good. Just rely on that.

0:24:05 > 0:24:09Stop tweeting out annoying things. Stop taking yourself too seriously.

0:24:09 > 0:24:14I just think his ego has gotten enormously, gigantically massive.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17I think what would be best for the world in 2012

0:24:17 > 0:24:19is if Kanye West becomes a mute.

0:24:19 > 0:24:24At number 43, some mothers who maybe DON'T know best.

0:24:24 > 0:24:28# What would my mama do? #

0:24:28 > 0:24:342011 has seen the rise of the horrible, pushy, showy mum

0:24:34 > 0:24:36who wants their daughter to be famous,

0:24:36 > 0:24:39whatever the cost and, unfortunately, that cost

0:24:39 > 0:24:43seems to be their appearance, their health, their general wellbeing.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46# I whip my hair back and forth... #

0:24:46 > 0:24:50In 2011, pushy mums have been slapped across the nation's headlines

0:24:50 > 0:24:54for indulging their darling daughters just a little too much

0:24:54 > 0:24:57and one British mum whipped us into a frenzy for confessing

0:24:57 > 0:25:00she'd Botoxed her seven-year-old child in a deranged bid

0:25:00 > 0:25:04to help her daughter find fame like her idol, Willow Smith.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07# So keep the party jumpin'... #

0:25:07 > 0:25:10Disgusting. How can you put Botox into a child's face?

0:25:10 > 0:25:13If she has got lines on the face, sort yourself out, love.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14Have a clay face mask.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Don't you just hate it when you hit five

0:25:17 > 0:25:19and Mother Nature starts taking her toll?

0:25:19 > 0:25:24It all goes and it all goes south. Those non-existent boobs that you've developed

0:25:24 > 0:25:25are hanging by your ankles.

0:25:25 > 0:25:29It's just ridiculous. I mean, what are these women thinking?!

0:25:29 > 0:25:33# And now you wanna pretend that you're a superstar... #

0:25:33 > 0:25:37But our most annoying plastic parent of 2011 goes to Sarah Burge.

0:25:37 > 0:25:42She's spent half a million turning herself into a Botox Barbie

0:25:42 > 0:25:46and thinks her daughters should totter in her tiny footsteps.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48# When everyone's gone and you are by yourself... #

0:25:48 > 0:25:54Seven-year-old Poppy and mother Sarah Burge bond over beauty so much

0:25:54 > 0:25:57that 50-year-old Sarah has given her little girl a voucher

0:25:57 > 0:26:01for breast implants, that she can use when she turns 18.

0:26:01 > 0:26:04The only thing a seven-year-old should be deciding

0:26:04 > 0:26:06is whether she wants to watch Peppa Pig or Blue Peter.

0:26:06 > 0:26:11There's no need for her to be deciding if she wants bigger boobs, bigger lips or anything.

0:26:11 > 0:26:14I'm almost lost for words, which doesn't happen very often.

0:26:14 > 0:26:17It's absolutely sick. It's warped. It's crazy.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20Someone needs to speak to this woman.

0:26:23 > 0:26:29Sarah justified her pushy parenting earlier this year on BBC Three show Botox Britain.

0:26:29 > 0:26:35The problem is that every girl starts to think, "I need to look a certain way

0:26:35 > 0:26:39"and address it", and for me, that is a depressing horror future.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42It might well be, but that's a reality of life, isn't it?

0:26:42 > 0:26:47The playground is ruthless. It's like being on a fashion parade going to school.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Mums justify it by saying, "Well, look at my daughter.

0:26:50 > 0:26:54"They ask for it. They want it." I asked for a pet dinosaur when I was seven.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57It was neither feasible nor possible. OK?

0:26:57 > 0:27:00And that should be the same with your seven-year-old daughter wanting tits.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02Do not allow it to happen.

0:27:02 > 0:27:04All these crazy moms out there,

0:27:04 > 0:27:07it should be, "Here's your boob job, here's your tattooing of eyebrows

0:27:07 > 0:27:10"and here's your therapist that I will personally pay for

0:27:10 > 0:27:13"from the ages of 15 to 30, when you start slutting it up."

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Popping up next is reluctant role model, Rihanna.

0:27:17 > 0:27:23More used to being number one, this Barbadian balladeer only makes it in at number 42

0:27:23 > 0:27:24on our parade of annoyance.

0:27:24 > 0:27:26Get lo-o-o-o-oud!

0:27:26 > 0:27:31Indeed, some question what the saucy songstress is doing here at all.

0:27:31 > 0:27:35I'm shocked that Rihanna's on the most annoying. I think she's... I think she's brilliant.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37I love Rihanna.

0:27:37 > 0:27:40I love all her music videos. Not her music, just the videos.

0:27:40 > 0:27:44# Cos I may be bad But I'm perfectly good at it... #

0:27:44 > 0:27:47Raunchy Riri was in our face straightaway this year

0:27:47 > 0:27:52with this kinky chorus banned from a dozen countries and daytime Radio One.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55# Chains and whips excite me... #

0:27:55 > 0:27:57My little sister is nine years old.

0:27:57 > 0:28:00I don't want my little sister talking about S&M.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Damn you, Rihanna, stop that.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05No, you're a role model, behave yourself.

0:28:05 > 0:28:06# I like it, like it... #

0:28:06 > 0:28:09These women put flashlights on their vaginas

0:28:09 > 0:28:11and have fireworks shooting out of their breasts.

0:28:11 > 0:28:13They're not a moral compass.

0:28:13 > 0:28:15They are to dance around and blow-dry your hair to.

0:28:15 > 0:28:19# M, M, M S, S, S, and... #

0:28:19 > 0:28:23It's really gotten extreme. Just when I wanted to like Rihanna, she's slutted it up.

0:28:25 > 0:28:28Now, when a farmer in Northern Ireland agreed to

0:28:28 > 0:28:34lend his field to a film crew for a pop video, he had no idea what he was letting himself in for.

0:28:34 > 0:28:37Being Rihanna, she'd forgot to pack any clothes,

0:28:37 > 0:28:40so she was in there in the field jumping around, and most people

0:28:40 > 0:28:44would be happy about this, apart from one person. That was the farmer.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47# We don't have to take our clothes off

0:28:47 > 0:28:50# To have a good time... #

0:28:50 > 0:28:53The farmer told her, "Look, this isn't going on.

0:28:53 > 0:28:57"I'm a Christian here. I don't want this filth in my field."

0:28:57 > 0:29:02Not only that, all the traffic stopped to watch and perve.

0:29:02 > 0:29:05He went over to her and he said,

0:29:05 > 0:29:08"You shouldn't have to take off your top to make a living".

0:29:08 > 0:29:12And in one fell swoop, this small Northern Irish farmer

0:29:12 > 0:29:14landed sort of a feminist critique

0:29:14 > 0:29:17that hundreds of politicians or feminists couldn't land.

0:29:18 > 0:29:22You're the most powerful woman in music right now.

0:29:22 > 0:29:25Why do you think you still have to run around topless?

0:29:25 > 0:29:28"Oh, because I'm liberated. It makes me feel sexy."

0:29:28 > 0:29:31You're in a field in Northern Ireland.

0:29:31 > 0:29:33# Now we're standing side by side... #

0:29:33 > 0:29:36Can you imagine that happening to Madonna or even Britney Spears?

0:29:36 > 0:29:38No chance, no chance.

0:29:38 > 0:29:41"Superstar gets tits out and gets told off by a farmer."

0:29:41 > 0:29:43It's kind of not a sexy headline, is it?

0:29:43 > 0:29:48# We found love in a hopeless place... #

0:29:48 > 0:29:53I don't think she'll be losing any sleep about people telling her what she should or shouldn't be doing

0:29:53 > 0:29:56and, sadly, I don't think she'll lose much sleep about

0:29:56 > 0:29:58being considered an annoying person of 2011.

0:29:58 > 0:30:00# Hopeless place... #

0:30:00 > 0:30:03At number 41, it's the Sperminator.

0:30:08 > 0:30:11Arnold Schwarzenegger has been particularly annoying this year

0:30:11 > 0:30:14because we found out that the Terminator wasn't a hero.

0:30:14 > 0:30:18In fact, he was a cheat - cheated on his wife,

0:30:18 > 0:30:22sired an illegitimate child with his housekeeper.

0:30:22 > 0:30:26One expects better from the Kindergarten Cop.

0:30:26 > 0:30:29Yes, 2011 was the year that it was revealed the Terminator

0:30:29 > 0:30:32had turned sperm donator.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35In May, Arnie shocked Hollywood when he announced he was splitting

0:30:35 > 0:30:38with his wife, Maria Shriver, after 25 years of marriage.

0:30:38 > 0:30:41Now there are so many people that I want to thank,

0:30:41 > 0:30:45but I want to start first with my wife Maria.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47CHEERING

0:30:47 > 0:30:51We then found out the reason for the break-up was that Arnie's missus had got wind of the fact

0:30:51 > 0:30:55that her cleaner's son might have a secret dad.

0:30:55 > 0:30:59Maria, his wife, suddenly noticed a strange similarity

0:30:59 > 0:31:02between the housemaid's son and her husband.

0:31:02 > 0:31:07She confronted the housemaid and realised Arnie had been playing away.

0:31:07 > 0:31:11AS SCHWARZENEGGER: And from the cleaner, I had a child. Don't tell anyone.

0:31:11 > 0:31:14# Got to love ya Got to love ya... #

0:31:14 > 0:31:21My question is, how, physically, do you have sex with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

0:31:21 > 0:31:23I mean, the guy is so ripped.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26I would imagine, when he ejaculates, it's just going to come

0:31:26 > 0:31:29crashing out of the top of your skull, through the headboard,

0:31:29 > 0:31:32through the wall and into the living room.

0:31:32 > 0:31:36I have a great time doing it. I have a very good physical background.

0:31:36 > 0:31:38"I'm going to come." Booff!

0:31:38 > 0:31:41The result of Arnie's supersonic secret sexual encounter

0:31:41 > 0:31:44was the now 13-year-old Joseph Bueno.

0:31:44 > 0:31:51His mother, Patty, had been a cleaner at the Schwarzenegger house for the last, er...13 years!

0:31:51 > 0:31:55It might have taken a long time for Maria to work out what had gone on,

0:31:55 > 0:32:00but why did it take the former governor of California so long to reveal the truth?

0:32:00 > 0:32:03The really annoying thing about all of this is the fact

0:32:03 > 0:32:07that he must have known about this for longer, but kept it all quiet

0:32:07 > 0:32:11while he was in political office, and that's pretty low, I think.

0:32:13 > 0:32:16Old-school Arnie's proven he can keep a secret,

0:32:16 > 0:32:20but modern stars have trouble keeping ANYTHING to themselves.

0:32:20 > 0:32:232011 has been the year that even more celebrities have taken to Twitter,

0:32:23 > 0:32:27but who knew so many of them would be serving up such dire drivel?

0:32:27 > 0:32:30Here, with their very own dodgy spelling and grammar,

0:32:30 > 0:32:34are the year's top five tiresome tweeters.

0:32:34 > 0:32:37At number five, it's Mel B who irritated us

0:32:37 > 0:32:40with this romantic tweet back in June.

0:32:47 > 0:32:51I actually got into a huge barney with Mel B this year,

0:32:51 > 0:32:56which was quite well documented on Twitter, but actually it was all sparked by this tweet.

0:32:56 > 0:33:00A whole load of victims of rape were really disgusted by it.

0:33:00 > 0:33:03It was just a ridiculous comment, and she has to be

0:33:03 > 0:33:07one of those celebrities who should just be banned from Twitter.

0:33:07 > 0:33:09Wayne Rooney is at number four,

0:33:09 > 0:33:13after he tried his hand at social commentary following the summer riots.

0:33:21 > 0:33:25I don't think he's really one to be judging people on, you know,

0:33:25 > 0:33:27just cos you haven't got a job you can burn down buildings.

0:33:27 > 0:33:30I don't think he should be casting wider views on society

0:33:30 > 0:33:32when he sleeps with grannies.

0:33:32 > 0:33:36At number three, Duncan Bannatyne turned gangster,

0:33:36 > 0:33:40after a mysterious Russian sent threatening tweets to his daughter.

0:33:50 > 0:33:53I was upset that on the new series of Dragons' Den

0:33:53 > 0:33:56they didn't go, "And first in the Den tonight is Yuri from Moscow.

0:33:56 > 0:33:59"He's looking for £25,000 for his new kidnapping business."

0:33:59 > 0:34:00You can imagine Duncan's response.

0:34:00 > 0:34:03At number two, 50 Cent managed to annoy us

0:34:03 > 0:34:08by making light of the horrific tsunami that destroyed parts of Japan in March.

0:34:17 > 0:34:18LOL.

0:34:18 > 0:34:20If ever there was a time for an LOL, it is

0:34:20 > 0:34:24definitely when there is a massive earthquake in Japan.

0:34:24 > 0:34:27It's ridiculous. You'd think that somebody like 50 Cent would have somebody

0:34:27 > 0:34:33monitoring their tweets. There would be some checks in place. But no.

0:34:33 > 0:34:3850's 140-character thoughts might have irritated us this year,

0:34:38 > 0:34:41but that's nothing compared to bad-boy footballer, Joey Barton,

0:34:41 > 0:34:46a man who has undergone something of a Twitter-aided transformation in 2011.

0:34:46 > 0:34:49Joey Barton - footballer by day,

0:34:49 > 0:34:53deep-thinking Twitter philosopher by night.

0:34:53 > 0:34:58It's like finding out BNP leader Nick Griffin is a reggae DJ in his spare time.

0:34:58 > 0:35:03Joey Barton, footballer, a man once famed for stubbing out a lit cigar

0:35:03 > 0:35:07in the open eye of one of his disbelieving team-mates

0:35:07 > 0:35:13has overcome a kind of cultural intellectual revolution, and become Renaissance man on Twitter.

0:35:15 > 0:35:20This year, Joey has developed the habit of quoting writers and philosophers in his tweets.

0:35:20 > 0:35:25When he fell out with his old club, Newcastle, in July, he tweeted the following.

0:35:31 > 0:35:34I don't really trust Joey Barton's tweets when they're Orwell.

0:35:34 > 0:35:37I get the impression he's getting these quotes off a website.

0:35:37 > 0:35:42I don't think he's trawling through Orwell's books, picking out a really meaningful quote.

0:35:42 > 0:35:45Maybe the reason we aren't convinced by Joey's literary musings

0:35:45 > 0:35:50is because most of his tweets reveal a more basic side to his hashtag philosophy.

0:35:50 > 0:35:56He called the TOWIE cast "ball bags" and "retards", which is not a PC thing to say.

0:35:56 > 0:35:59Particularly if you're a footballer like him.

0:35:59 > 0:36:05It wasn't only the TOWIE cast who've been on the end of a Twitter bashing from Joey this year.

0:36:05 > 0:36:07He gets criticised once on Match Of The Day

0:36:07 > 0:36:11and he has a go at Alan Shearer's hairline and his shirt.

0:36:16 > 0:36:18He showed that he was actually, at heart, a real philosopher.

0:36:18 > 0:36:20Jean-Paul Sartre would be proud today.

0:36:22 > 0:36:27Next, a social media slip-up that led to career suicide.

0:36:27 > 0:36:31What would this show be without a politician embroiled in a sex scandal?

0:36:31 > 0:36:36I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

0:36:36 > 0:36:41You may not recognise his face, but millions now recognise his crotch.

0:36:41 > 0:36:43Oh, Anthony Weiner.

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Anthony Weiner is the penis guy.

0:36:45 > 0:36:49We didn't know Anthony Weiner at all until he did this.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51Congressman Anthony Weiner was immediately caught

0:36:51 > 0:36:54after he tweeted a picture of his penis to a girl.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56He thought he was sending a picture of his penis

0:36:56 > 0:37:00to one particular woman, but he sent it to everyone who followed him.

0:37:00 > 0:37:03It's kind of like when you hit "reply all", basically.

0:37:03 > 0:37:05It's a classic mistake for penis showers.

0:37:08 > 0:37:12This year's big political cock-up involved a man

0:37:12 > 0:37:15previously little known in the UK, Anthony Weiner,

0:37:15 > 0:37:19the honourable member for New York's Ninth Congressional District.

0:37:19 > 0:37:23The gentleman is providing cover for his colleagues, rather than doing the right thing.

0:37:23 > 0:37:28Republican blogger Andrew Breitbart, having discovered the tweeted pictures,

0:37:28 > 0:37:32posted them online, and soon Weiner was dish of the day.

0:37:32 > 0:37:40He showed his wiener and his name is Weiner. How ironic.

0:37:40 > 0:37:42You should have seen the New York headlines.

0:37:42 > 0:37:44The New York Post - "Weiner Pulls Out."

0:37:44 > 0:37:46The New York Times - "Weiner Gets Grilled."

0:37:46 > 0:37:50I mean, you couldn't make it up.

0:37:50 > 0:37:56"Obama beats Weiner." You know what they're suggesting there.

0:37:56 > 0:37:59# Don't wanna be an American idiot... #

0:37:59 > 0:38:04Weiner denied the tweeted crotch was his, and claimed his account had been hacked.

0:38:04 > 0:38:08The problem with Anthony Weiner was he handled it the wrong way.

0:38:08 > 0:38:11- Not his wiener.- Not his wiener. His wiener was fine.

0:38:11 > 0:38:14- He handled that well. - And it was a little small.

0:38:14 > 0:38:18I didn't send the photograph. That was... This hacker did.

0:38:18 > 0:38:20I didn't send it to the woman in question.

0:38:20 > 0:38:23She didn't get it. She's made a statement to that effect.

0:38:23 > 0:38:26I saw it immediately, took it down.

0:38:26 > 0:38:29And then by the next weekend, his wife was ready to leave him

0:38:29 > 0:38:31and it was him and then another picture had leaked where

0:38:31 > 0:38:34we had actually seen even more of his wiener.

0:38:37 > 0:38:41I just loved how quickly his arrogance turned on a dime.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43He's just categorically like, "How dare you?

0:38:43 > 0:38:47"How dare you imply that I would do something like that to...

0:38:47 > 0:38:49"Yeah, that was my dick. I'm sorry."

0:38:49 > 0:38:52Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended

0:38:52 > 0:38:56to send as a direct message as part of a joke to a woman in Seattle.

0:38:56 > 0:38:59Once I realised I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked,

0:38:59 > 0:39:02I took it down and said that I had been hacked.

0:39:02 > 0:39:06He apologised at an old folk's home, which was great because I'm sure they were like,

0:39:06 > 0:39:10"What does tweeting his penis mean? I think I might do that every night accidentally."

0:39:10 > 0:39:15I brought pain to people I care about the most, and people who believed in me.

0:39:15 > 0:39:20Weiner was forced to quit, and face the wrath of pregnant wife, Huma Abedin.

0:39:20 > 0:39:24The happy couple are expecting their first child in December,

0:39:24 > 0:39:28hopefully in time to buy him this year's must-have toy.

0:39:28 > 0:39:31There is an Anthony Weiner doll out.

0:39:31 > 0:39:36It's sort of like Pinocchio, only the part that grows is lower.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39"Hey, there's a girl!" Who-o-o-op!

0:39:39 > 0:39:41"Hey, I got caught!" Who-o-o-o.

0:39:43 > 0:39:46Overstaying its welcome at 39

0:39:46 > 0:39:49is the technology we've all gotten very tired of -

0:39:49 > 0:39:523D.

0:39:52 > 0:39:56- 3D is shit. - 3D, yeah, it's just a joke.

0:39:56 > 0:39:58I think unless you're a techie nerd,

0:39:58 > 0:40:01I'm just not that interested in 3D stuff.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04Yes, in 2011, the thrill of paying over the odds

0:40:04 > 0:40:09to look like an idiot at a 3D movie has grown increasingly annoying.

0:40:09 > 0:40:11It is absolutely pointless.

0:40:11 > 0:40:14What is the reasoning behind having a film in 3D?

0:40:14 > 0:40:18I did see Harry Potter in 3D. I was told that that was a must.

0:40:18 > 0:40:21And it's great, it's cool,

0:40:21 > 0:40:24but it doesn't really add to my enjoyment of the film.

0:40:24 > 0:40:27I think I would have enjoyed the film anyway.

0:40:27 > 0:40:30It was good in the '80s, when you had Jaws and the glasses for free

0:40:30 > 0:40:33and Jaws was in 3D. It was brilliant, that was.

0:40:33 > 0:40:35But now they've got 3D this, 3D that.

0:40:35 > 0:40:38Not content with pushing overpriced movie tickets,

0:40:38 > 0:40:42the men in suits are now pushing 3D into your living room.

0:40:42 > 0:40:47I can't even really get reception in my house, so 3D would be, like, really state of the art.

0:40:47 > 0:40:53I'd quite like a 3D TV just so, when I had a party, I could put it on and show off about it.

0:40:53 > 0:40:57I won't be buying a 3D television. I'd be, um, doing something better.

0:40:57 > 0:41:01I think the 3D TVs are definitely for the techie show-offs

0:41:01 > 0:41:04that want the next thing, but I think the joke's on them now,

0:41:04 > 0:41:09because it's not really kicked off and they just look like geeks.

0:41:09 > 0:41:14But if watching puppies and footballers in stupid glasses wasn't annoying enough,

0:41:14 > 0:41:17back in March, thousands of twitching techies

0:41:17 > 0:41:21joined the bandwagon to purchase the all-new Nintendo 3DS.

0:41:21 > 0:41:24The world-famous console was, this time, in 3D.

0:41:24 > 0:41:28You didn't need glasses, but you did need £250 and no shame.

0:41:29 > 0:41:33It's a fad. It's a very expensive fad. It's not going to last.

0:41:33 > 0:41:38I don't know. I don't think that's really necessary, to have a little dog in the screen

0:41:38 > 0:41:41that's paw can come up slightly towards you.

0:41:41 > 0:41:43I don't really understand that. It doesn't really do it for me.

0:41:43 > 0:41:49It was a shame for Nintendo. It appeared that 3D wasn't what the techies wanted either.

0:41:49 > 0:41:53Sales - as well as the price of their new console - plummeted

0:41:53 > 0:41:56and the company reported a loss for the first time in years.

0:41:56 > 0:41:58I will not have it. Stop 3D now!

0:42:00 > 0:42:07Breaking a sweat at 38, it's a form of exercise that's been growing like wildfire in 2011.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10- Zumba. - Zumba. Zumba.

0:42:10 > 0:42:12# Cha-de-de-de-de. #

0:42:12 > 0:42:14Zumba has got it going on.

0:42:15 > 0:42:20Can you actually tell the difference whether someone is Zumba-ing or they're being Tasered?

0:42:20 > 0:42:25It's just somebody doing this. Zumba, Zumba, Zumba.

0:42:25 > 0:42:28Zumba. I charge four quid for that.

0:42:28 > 0:42:32Created by one Beto Perez, Zumba classes are a bizarre clash

0:42:32 > 0:42:34of '80s aerobics...

0:42:34 > 0:42:36# Let's get physical... #

0:42:36 > 0:42:38..and '90s Macarena.

0:42:38 > 0:42:39# Hey, Macarena! #

0:42:39 > 0:42:45And, in 2011, it has been turning women across the globe into Zumba zealots.

0:42:45 > 0:42:48Please stop for your own benefit because if you've got kids,

0:42:48 > 0:42:52when they grow up, they've got to put up with looking you in the eye.

0:42:52 > 0:42:54# One, two, three, four Uno, dos, tres... #

0:42:54 > 0:42:58These Zumba zombies have been trying to get everyone addicted

0:42:58 > 0:43:00to its annoying mix of Latin and Lycra.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02# You know I want ya I know you want me... #

0:43:02 > 0:43:06Zumba is a great cardio workout. You get great legs.

0:43:06 > 0:43:09You get a toned stomach because you're constantly,

0:43:09 > 0:43:11gyrating, rotating, shaking.

0:43:11 > 0:43:14There's three types of people in this world -

0:43:14 > 0:43:16people who don't bother doing exercise,

0:43:16 > 0:43:19people who do exercise, or people who think

0:43:19 > 0:43:24finding some sort of gimmicky thing that's either on a DVD or goes on in a local church hall

0:43:24 > 0:43:27on a Wednesday will somehow make you ultimately fit and healthy.

0:43:27 > 0:43:29Instead of having a Ryvita, which is really boring,

0:43:29 > 0:43:33you can be sexy, Zumba away, and look fit. It's perfect.

0:43:33 > 0:43:36"Darren's teaching you all Zumba this week. It's going to be great.

0:43:36 > 0:43:38"You're all going to lose that fat off your arses."

0:43:38 > 0:43:45You're not, because you'll go home, watch the Coronation Street omnibus and have 15 packets of biscuits.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49I think that people who don't like Zumba

0:43:49 > 0:43:52and who are annoyed by it are probably intimidated by it,

0:43:52 > 0:43:55because I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage to go out there

0:43:55 > 0:43:59and really move your body in a sexual way in front of everyone.

0:43:59 > 0:44:01I think if the men actually went to Zumba,

0:44:01 > 0:44:07they'd probably enjoy it, because there are a lot of ladies jiggling around in not many clothes.

0:44:07 > 0:44:09# Let's get loud... #

0:44:11 > 0:44:14I really, really, really, really, really hate Zumba.

0:44:16 > 0:44:19The zest for Zumba reached a peak earlier this year

0:44:19 > 0:44:24when an army of 3,500 fitness fans Zumba-ed en masse in London.

0:44:24 > 0:44:27It was for charity, which was good, but its deadly spell

0:44:27 > 0:44:30hooked a host of celebrities into its sweaty clutches.

0:44:30 > 0:44:34It's like a secret society, slowing building up the numbers

0:44:34 > 0:44:36until, one day, Zumba will take over the world

0:44:36 > 0:44:39and everybody is going to be bloody Zumba-ing. Well, I won't be.

0:44:39 > 0:44:44I'll be on top of that clock tower with a rifle picking them all off one by one because I hate it.

0:44:44 > 0:44:46I hate Zumba.

0:44:48 > 0:44:51Rolling in at 37, some travellers went off-road

0:44:51 > 0:44:58and right onto our TV screens, making Gypsy Weddings the surprise water-cooler topic of the year.

0:44:58 > 0:45:01# Gypsies, tramps and thieves... #

0:45:01 > 0:45:05It's built their reputation that they're weird, fantastical beings

0:45:05 > 0:45:08that have these elaborate weddings and live under bridges.

0:45:08 > 0:45:12# Gypsies, tramps and thieves... #

0:45:12 > 0:45:15I reckon Katie Price is gutted, absolutely gutted.

0:45:15 > 0:45:17There she was thinking, "No-one can outdo me

0:45:17 > 0:45:21"when it comes to weddings and tackiness", and then these gypsies

0:45:21 > 0:45:25come along with their huge dresses and cakes the size of a room.

0:45:25 > 0:45:26She's livid.

0:45:26 > 0:45:30# L-I-F-E G-O-E-S O-N

0:45:30 > 0:45:33# You've got more than money and sense, my friend... #

0:45:33 > 0:45:36Any culture that spends more time making an elaborate wedding dress

0:45:36 > 0:45:41than they do building foundations for an actual house, is fine by me. They're amazing people.

0:45:41 > 0:45:43# What you don't have now will come back again... #

0:45:43 > 0:45:48Forget fake '80s shoulder pads, we're talking killer kitsch here.

0:45:48 > 0:45:52And what some viewers struggled with were the freakish fairytale dresses

0:45:52 > 0:45:56the gypsy brides wore for their big day.

0:45:56 > 0:46:00Have you seen these dresses? I mean, they have their own postcode.

0:46:00 > 0:46:01Hello?

0:46:01 > 0:46:05You just want something that's kind of feminine, elegant,

0:46:05 > 0:46:09comfortable. Theirs were none of these things.

0:46:09 > 0:46:10I've had a lot of people say to me,

0:46:10 > 0:46:13"Don't you go overboard with your children?"

0:46:13 > 0:46:17And you've got to tell them, "I give my child what she wants."

0:46:17 > 0:46:20Listen, your child is born, it's a Christening you're going to give her,

0:46:20 > 0:46:25Holy Communion you're going to give her, a Confirmation you're going to give her, and a wedding.

0:46:25 > 0:46:28There's only four things you have to give her that are major.

0:46:28 > 0:46:30# Goin' to the chapel... #

0:46:30 > 0:46:36Gypsy go-to dressmaker Thelma Madine provided most of the crinoline creations we were all talking about.

0:46:36 > 0:46:39Every one of these girls are really young

0:46:39 > 0:46:42and it's like a fairytale wedding is what they want,

0:46:42 > 0:46:48and they actually bring us videos of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty.

0:46:48 > 0:46:51They want this type of dream wedding dress.

0:46:51 > 0:46:54They want it big and special.

0:46:55 > 0:46:59They could barely walk in them, and that itself was really unattractive.

0:46:59 > 0:47:02They're kind of walking like a cowboy down the aisle.

0:47:04 > 0:47:08We actually tell them, so it comes with a warning sign

0:47:08 > 0:47:13that your hips will be cut and bruised and you will be in pain.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16It doesn't seem to put them off. That's what they want.

0:47:16 > 0:47:19# Today's the day... #

0:47:19 > 0:47:22Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think you should actually be

0:47:22 > 0:47:24paralysed by your own wedding dress.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27When you see people with bleeding lesions because their dress

0:47:27 > 0:47:30is actually so heavy, I think there's something a bit wrong about that.

0:47:30 > 0:47:33It's supposed to be the happiest day of your life.

0:47:33 > 0:47:37Has to wear trainers. That's a joke, isn't it?

0:47:37 > 0:47:41You give them a large sum of money, and she's wearing trainers.

0:47:41 > 0:47:42She needs to balance,

0:47:42 > 0:47:45and with a heel that big you won't keep your balance.

0:47:45 > 0:47:48If your daughter wants to be a princess, I'll make her a princess.

0:47:53 > 0:47:57Slipping in at 36, there's even more wedding-related irritation.

0:47:58 > 0:48:02Remember this? For most of us, it was a great moment -

0:48:02 > 0:48:05we found out we'd be getting an extra day off work.

0:48:05 > 0:48:07But for artist Jennifer Rubell,

0:48:07 > 0:48:11it was the inspiration to create 2011's most annoying bit of art.

0:48:11 > 0:48:15The chance to play Princess Kate to your very own wax Wills.

0:48:15 > 0:48:18# You make me feel like

0:48:18 > 0:48:22# I'm living a teenage dream

0:48:22 > 0:48:24# The way you turn me on... #

0:48:24 > 0:48:28The thought occurred to me it would be fun to be her going in

0:48:28 > 0:48:34and putting my arm in and being the one with the ring on and I think it's a feeling a lot of women have

0:48:34 > 0:48:38of this fantasy of meeting Prince Charming and he asks you

0:48:38 > 0:48:41to marry him, and you're at the palace making your announcement.

0:48:41 > 0:48:45Unlike you though, Jennifer, marrying William isn't every girl's dream.

0:48:45 > 0:48:50It's assuming you would WANT to feel like a princess, as if you're kind of a six-year old girl that still

0:48:50 > 0:48:54dresses in Woolworths Ladybird collection. It's a bit weird, isn't it?

0:48:54 > 0:48:57The waxwork didn't really look like Prince William.

0:48:57 > 0:49:01If something that looked like that proposed to me, I would have to say no anyway.

0:49:01 > 0:49:05His nose is all funny. I wouldn't want to marry him.

0:49:05 > 0:49:10Jennifer's...creation was on show for four weeks at a private London gallery,

0:49:10 > 0:49:13but not everyone has been convinced of its artistic merits.

0:49:13 > 0:49:17She's called it Engagement. She was going to call it Wills Pops The Question

0:49:17 > 0:49:20but she didn't want to baffle people with layers of metaphor.

0:49:20 > 0:49:23I found it quite annoying that it was called art.

0:49:25 > 0:49:30Does it belong in the art gallery or does it belong at the end of Brighton Pier?

0:49:30 > 0:49:34Part of occupying that moment is how you feel, because you slide your finger through

0:49:34 > 0:49:37and you have this feeling of kind of like, "I'm a princess".

0:49:37 > 0:49:40My only regret is that I didn't get to go in person

0:49:40 > 0:49:44because I've always harboured a somewhat fanciful dream

0:49:44 > 0:49:46of slipping my finger up Kate Middleton's ring.

0:49:46 > 0:49:52If nothing else, Jennifer's tribute to Wills and Kate allowed art lovers and tourists the chance

0:49:52 > 0:49:55to save some serious money on a ticket to Madame Tussauds.

0:49:55 > 0:49:59Oh, my God. Oh, my God, is that Prince William? Oh, my God, I thought it was real!

0:49:59 > 0:50:02I thought it was real for a minute. Ah, my God. Ah, he's fit.

0:50:02 > 0:50:05Can I actually pose with him? Can I pose with Prince William?

0:50:05 > 0:50:09Guess what pose I'm going to do. It's going to be disgusting.

0:50:09 > 0:50:11At 35, what a load of old plankers.

0:50:17 > 0:50:22Originally known as the dead man, in 2011 planking has become

0:50:22 > 0:50:25an internet sensation with plankers all over the world.

0:50:25 > 0:50:29Planking is basically lying down.

0:50:32 > 0:50:35Most people can lie down quite easily,

0:50:35 > 0:50:38but now they've given it a different name, it's suddenly cool.

0:50:38 > 0:50:41# You better believe I'll stand my ground, boy

0:50:41 > 0:50:44# I won't take it lying down... #

0:50:45 > 0:50:47How dull do you have to be

0:50:47 > 0:50:50if posing as a piece of wood

0:50:50 > 0:50:52makes you more exciting?

0:50:53 > 0:50:57To me, planking is the worst extreme sport there is. It's lazy.

0:50:57 > 0:51:00It's basically one of those things that inspires

0:51:00 > 0:51:04the biggest idiots and dickheads in the world

0:51:04 > 0:51:07to think they're doing something crazy.

0:51:07 > 0:51:10"Hey, guess what I did last night? Some serious planking."

0:51:10 > 0:51:12Didn't you lay down? That's all you actually did.

0:51:12 > 0:51:16I did a plank on a post box. That's right. Postman Plank.

0:51:17 > 0:51:19That's me.

0:51:19 > 0:51:21It just came to me like an epiphany.

0:51:21 > 0:51:23I've never, ever planked before but I thought,

0:51:23 > 0:51:26let me make my first plank an epic one.

0:51:26 > 0:51:29And what more epic can you get than a Grand Canyon,

0:51:29 > 0:51:31a big hole in the world? And it got set up.

0:51:31 > 0:51:33I put it on Twitter. I put it on Facebook.

0:51:33 > 0:51:36I got 200 likes and that's what I live for.

0:51:36 > 0:51:37I live for the likes.

0:51:38 > 0:51:39I don't understand it.

0:51:39 > 0:51:42It makes me feel slightly nervous

0:51:42 > 0:51:46because what's no-one thinking of? Health and safety.

0:51:46 > 0:51:49Planking is the start of an episode of Casualty, isn't it?

0:51:49 > 0:51:51Are they thinking about the consequences,

0:51:51 > 0:51:55about my tax money paying for their injuries? They're not, are they?

0:51:57 > 0:52:00Be warned, viewers - planking can be fatal.

0:52:00 > 0:52:03It cost 20-year-old Acton Beale his life when he fell from

0:52:03 > 0:52:09a balcony of a block of flats in Brisbane after he tried to plank on some railings.

0:52:09 > 0:52:12Do it over some sort of soft cushioning.

0:52:12 > 0:52:13Do it over Rihanna.

0:52:18 > 0:52:24Planking has spawned a host of other "ings", all with one thing in common -

0:52:26 > 0:52:28they're annoy-ING.

0:52:28 > 0:52:29# Batman... #

0:52:29 > 0:52:32Batmanning, to me, yeah, there's a little bit of skill there.

0:52:32 > 0:52:35That is the sort of thing that's not high-end,

0:52:35 > 0:52:39it's not David Copperfield, but still there's something to it.

0:52:39 > 0:52:43I don't know where this could go. It literally could go anywhere, couldn't it, you know?

0:52:43 > 0:52:46We've gone on from the planking and moved onto the owling.

0:52:49 > 0:52:53You know what? As far as all the "ings" go - planking, saluting, shagging -

0:52:53 > 0:52:57they're all going to be fun. None of them will ever be as popular as wanking.

0:52:57 > 0:53:02# Batman... #

0:53:02 > 0:53:06Batmanning. Extreme sport.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08Now for some infuriating fruit.

0:53:08 > 0:53:12Hey, Apple. Hey, Apple.

0:53:12 > 0:53:13Hey, Apple.

0:53:13 > 0:53:15Hey, Apple, Apple, hey.

0:53:15 > 0:53:16Hey, Apple.

0:53:16 > 0:53:18What? What? What is it?

0:53:18 > 0:53:21Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Ha-ha-ha!

0:53:21 > 0:53:22Annoying, isn't it?

0:53:22 > 0:53:24Ble, ble, ble, ble.

0:53:24 > 0:53:26# Got my orange crush... #

0:53:26 > 0:53:29This cackling citrus has taken the pith.

0:53:29 > 0:53:33Tediously tango-ing us to new levels of vexation

0:53:33 > 0:53:35via his own YouTube channel.

0:53:35 > 0:53:39- Wow, you really are an apple. - I am not.

0:53:39 > 0:53:42Hey, hey, Apple. Ha-ha-ha!

0:53:42 > 0:53:46Annoying Orange is exactly as it's described. It's extremely annoying.

0:53:46 > 0:53:50OK, gotta take this. Hold on.

0:53:50 > 0:53:52You've got the cob.

0:53:52 > 0:53:55- Ble-ble...- Knock it off!- Ha-ha-ha!

0:53:55 > 0:53:58I had been doing YouTube for a really long time

0:53:58 > 0:54:03and did these short one-off videos and I've done a lot of talking-food videos before as well

0:54:03 > 0:54:05and one night the idea popped in my head.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08Hey, let's do another one of those talking-food videos.

0:54:08 > 0:54:10And I uploaded it.

0:54:10 > 0:54:11- Hey, Apple.- What?- You look fruity.

0:54:11 > 0:54:14Ha-ha-ha!

0:54:14 > 0:54:17A couple of days later, it hit close to a million hits

0:54:17 > 0:54:22and I was like, wow, this is crazy. And from then I just kept getting more and more e-mails from fans

0:54:22 > 0:54:25saying, "Hey, you should make another one". So I made another one.

0:54:25 > 0:54:31That one, in a couple of days, got a million hits and just from there, I just kept getting more and more

0:54:31 > 0:54:33and more fan mail saying, "Make more, make more!"

0:54:33 > 0:54:38For crying out loud, would you stop yabbering for longer than three seconds? I can't hear myself think!

0:54:38 > 0:54:42'But since then, I've been making a new episode every Friday.'

0:54:42 > 0:54:45He has over two million subscribers on YouTube,

0:54:45 > 0:54:499.5 million fans on Facebook and over 250,000 Twitter followers.

0:54:49 > 0:54:52- Yello?- Whassup?- What's up?

0:54:52 > 0:54:54- What's up?- Err...- Aaargh...

0:54:54 > 0:54:56- ARGH!- Errr...

0:54:56 > 0:54:57- Ahhh!- Ahhh!- Ahhh!

0:54:57 > 0:55:00- ARGH!- Ohhh!- Ohh!

0:55:00 > 0:55:02ARGH!

0:55:02 > 0:55:07I have sat through crazy frogs and fuzzy things

0:55:07 > 0:55:10and shouty puppets and S Club 7.

0:55:10 > 0:55:14I am willing to go with The Annoying Orange. So it's good.

0:55:14 > 0:55:16You stick a face on stuff, it's funny.

0:55:16 > 0:55:19- Hey, Apple.- What?- Can you do this?

0:55:19 > 0:55:22- Ne ne ne ne...- No. - ..ne ne ne ne ne!

0:55:22 > 0:55:25I love the whole thing. The ne ne ne ne.

0:55:25 > 0:55:28- Ne ne ne ne ne ne! - Ne ne ne ne...

0:55:28 > 0:55:31- Shut up!- Ha-ha-ha.

0:55:31 > 0:55:33That's what you did when you were four years old and it's still funny.

0:55:33 > 0:55:35Ne ne ne ne.

0:55:35 > 0:55:38OK, you've made your point. Stop it.

0:55:41 > 0:55:44I don't mind animals being able to speak in cartoons,

0:55:44 > 0:55:47but, you know, an orange being able to speak?

0:55:47 > 0:55:52- Ah, God, you are so irritating. - I'm not irritating. I'm an orange.

0:55:52 > 0:55:55- Hey, Apple.- I'm not talking to you.

0:55:55 > 0:55:59He just doesn't stop. He just constantly goes and goes and goes and goes.

0:55:59 > 0:56:03Yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam, yam!

0:56:03 > 0:56:05What?!

0:56:05 > 0:56:07- Knife.- ARGH!

0:56:07 > 0:56:08Whoa!

0:56:08 > 0:56:10I've created a monster.

0:56:11 > 0:56:13Orange, orangey-orange!

0:56:13 > 0:56:16A monster that is no longer content with mere internet stardom,

0:56:16 > 0:56:21Agent Orange has bigger plans to really give us the pip.

0:56:21 > 0:56:25We've completed a pilot so far and we're just shopping round to different networks -

0:56:25 > 0:56:30I can't talk too much about it, but it is a lot bigger than the web series.

0:56:30 > 0:56:33If there is a television series featuring the Annoying Orange,

0:56:33 > 0:56:37then I know there is absolutely no hope for television. It's over.

0:56:37 > 0:56:40Ble, ble, ble, ble...

0:56:40 > 0:56:41Would you please be quiet?!

0:56:43 > 0:56:47I felt thrilled when you guys approached me about Orange being on the list.

0:56:47 > 0:56:51- What? What list?- If there's anyone that Annoying Orange is in competition with

0:56:51 > 0:56:53for most annoying, it's probably Charlie Sheen.

0:56:53 > 0:57:00Hey, hey, Charlie. You can't beat me! You can't even beat an egg. Ha-ha-ha!

0:57:00 > 0:57:05He did a lot in 2011. He had quite the year, and I would like to say that Orange

0:57:05 > 0:57:07was more annoying than Charlie Sheen...

0:57:07 > 0:57:10Hey, I'm not annoying.

0:57:10 > 0:57:15- ..but I don't know if that's possible. - Ble, ble, ble, na, na, na!

0:57:15 > 0:57:19At 33, we're experiencing a sense of deja vu.

0:57:19 > 0:57:25This time last year, one of 2010's most annoying people was this clown.

0:57:25 > 0:57:30Our burning of the Koran is to call the attention that something's wrong.

0:57:30 > 0:57:36US pastor Terry Jones had the delightful idea of burning copies of the Islamic holy book,

0:57:36 > 0:57:39the Koran, as a way of marking the anniversary of 9/11.

0:57:39 > 0:57:42Guess what? This year we've been irritated by yet another potty pastor

0:57:42 > 0:57:46with a fondness for predicting the end of the world.

0:57:46 > 0:57:51According to Harold Camping, a religious broadcaster in California, tomorrow is Judgment Day,

0:57:51 > 0:57:56when true believers are sent to Heaven and the rest of us are left behind to suffer the Apocalypse.

0:57:56 > 0:57:58He's said it before and he did it this year.

0:57:58 > 0:58:01He said that the world was going to end on May 21st.

0:58:01 > 0:58:07There is just no reason in the world, no possibility that it will not happen.

0:58:07 > 0:58:12Harold Camping based his bold prediction on calculations he had made using the Bible.

0:58:12 > 0:58:15Amazingly, many Americans even bought it.

0:58:15 > 0:58:19A lot of people are hardcore believers in Christianity in this country,

0:58:19 > 0:58:23and they will believe whatever a pastor or a priest tells them.

0:58:26 > 0:58:30There were big billboards everywhere, people handing out fliers.

0:58:30 > 0:58:34So it's this huge deal. People went to Times Square on the day

0:58:34 > 0:58:39waiting with their bags packed. Why would you bring anything to Heaven? I'm sure it'll all be there for you.

0:58:39 > 0:58:43# This is the end... #

0:58:43 > 0:58:47With Harold predicting Armageddon at 6pm on May 21st,

0:58:47 > 0:58:51crowds gathered across America to see what would happen.

0:58:51 > 0:58:54CLOCK CHIMES

0:58:54 > 0:58:58The end of the world! Warn the people!

0:58:58 > 0:59:01Guess what? You're not going to believe this. It turned out he was wrong.

0:59:01 > 0:59:04# It's the end of the world as we know it... #

0:59:04 > 0:59:06Judgment day is cancelled! Yay!

0:59:06 > 0:59:08Thank God for that!

0:59:08 > 0:59:12It all left Harold's poor old believers a bit confused though.

0:59:12 > 0:59:17Well, obviously I hadn't understood it correctly, because we're still here.

0:59:17 > 0:59:20So, how do you explain that then, Harold?

0:59:20 > 0:59:24I'm not embarrassed about it. It's just the fact that it was...

0:59:24 > 0:59:26It was...premature.

0:59:26 > 0:59:30Everyone in the world knew that he thought the world was going to end

0:59:30 > 0:59:36and then it didn't, making him the biggest fool of the entire world.

0:59:36 > 0:59:40Obviously, predicting the end of the world must be a tricky business.

0:59:40 > 0:59:44But for Harold, it's a business which is also very lucrative.

0:59:44 > 0:59:47A recent audit of his organisation, Family Radio,

0:59:47 > 0:59:52valued it at 72 million with most of its income coming from donations.

0:59:52 > 0:59:58All the people who follow his church or listen to his radio programme freaked out. So what did they do?

0:59:58 > 1:00:01They took all of their life savings and they donated it to him.

1:00:01 > 1:00:06When the world didn't come to an end, Harold Camping didn't give them the money back.

1:00:06 > 1:00:10Just... "Ah, did I... Did I say today?

1:00:10 > 1:00:13"I meant next year, sorry, sorry. There was my watch.

1:00:13 > 1:00:15"It's... Oh, I need to get a new one.

1:00:15 > 1:00:19"Thankfully, you all donated your money to me so I'm going to get a Rolex."

1:00:19 > 1:00:23The world literally does come crashing around us now

1:00:23 > 1:00:28to the tunes of 2011's most annoying pop and our top five most maddening music.

1:00:32 > 1:00:34# Every day I'm shufflin'... #

1:00:34 > 1:00:38In at number five it's LMFAO, the American duo

1:00:38 > 1:00:43with the amazing pop pedigree, but terrifically annoying tunes.

1:00:43 > 1:00:49What's really depressing about that, is that one of the band members is the son of Berry Gordy.

1:00:49 > 1:00:53Berry Gordy who set up Motown, one of the most influential

1:00:53 > 1:00:56and important record labels of the 20th Century

1:00:56 > 1:01:01and the fact that his son is doing the Party Rock Anthem,

1:01:01 > 1:01:08when he could be making important soul music for the next generation, is just really depressing.

1:01:11 > 1:01:14At four, we're playing a game of spot the difference.

1:01:14 > 1:01:17The Wanted made it big this year.

1:01:17 > 1:01:18# You cast a spell on me Spell on me... #

1:01:18 > 1:01:21There they are, doing their thing,

1:01:21 > 1:01:24doing proper standard boy band videos out on beaches.

1:01:24 > 1:01:28Aren't they pretty? Wonderful. And then we get One Direction...

1:01:28 > 1:01:31# So c-come on

1:01:31 > 1:01:32# You got it wrong... #

1:01:32 > 1:01:36Which seemed to be like a Mini Me version of The Wanted

1:01:36 > 1:01:40with an identical video, just with slightly younger people in it.

1:01:40 > 1:01:42Come on, guys, can't you be a bit more original?

1:01:42 > 1:01:45# I look into your e-e-e-eyes... #

1:01:45 > 1:01:48# La, la-la-la-la La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la, la... #

1:01:48 > 1:01:52At number three, it's J Lo with the dodgiest sample of the year.

1:01:52 > 1:01:56- Anyone for the Lambada? - You can't really have the sample of forbidden dance -

1:01:56 > 1:02:02the Lambada - in your track. There's a reason why it's forbidden.

1:02:02 > 1:02:05That high, whiney vocal. # Da na na na ne... #

1:02:05 > 1:02:09That's just like nails on a chalk board.

1:02:09 > 1:02:12# If you got it Clap your hands on the floor... #

1:02:12 > 1:02:15# Day-O Me say day-ay-O

1:02:15 > 1:02:20# Daylight come and we don't wanna go home... #

1:02:20 > 1:02:25Jason Derulo is next, with a two-for-one offer that made us want to tell him to bog off.

1:02:25 > 1:02:29This song mixes The Banana Boat Song and Robin S's Show Me Love,

1:02:29 > 1:02:32and it's the worst thing you could ever do.

1:02:32 > 1:02:35I think it kills the mash-up for ever. It's a terrible song.

1:02:35 > 1:02:39# Day-O Me say day-ay-o... #

1:02:39 > 1:02:43# My swagger's in check Get on the floor! #

1:02:43 > 1:02:47But not even Jason could match what was undoubtedly the most annoying song of the year.

1:02:47 > 1:02:51# My swagger's in check Get on the floor! #

1:02:51 > 1:02:56Yes, it's Cher Lloyd's Swagger Jagger or should that be Oh, My Darling Clementine?

1:02:56 > 1:03:00# Swagger jagger Swagger jagger

1:03:00 > 1:03:03# You should get some of your own... #

1:03:03 > 1:03:06Cher Lloyd and I are not natural musical bedmates,

1:03:06 > 1:03:09yet she got in my head like an infected worm.

1:03:09 > 1:03:13Swagger Jagger was all I sang for about two weeks.

1:03:13 > 1:03:15You know, I lost friends over that, Cher.

1:03:15 > 1:03:17# You should get some of your own... #

1:03:17 > 1:03:20But isn't the whole point of Swagger Jagger that you're nicking

1:03:20 > 1:03:23someone else's style and looking like someone else?

1:03:23 > 1:03:26She has been dubbed the mini Cheryl Cole,

1:03:26 > 1:03:29so there's a bit of irony going on there.

1:03:29 > 1:03:35But one man we did all want to shout at this year makes it to number 32 on our list.

1:03:35 > 1:03:38It's the highly annoying hairdresser, James Brown.

1:03:38 > 1:03:42- I want to get out. I want to get out.- Go that way.- Oh...

1:03:42 > 1:03:47Usually famous for teasing the tresses of supermodel Kate Moss,

1:03:47 > 1:03:51February 2011 saw James basking in his very own limelight.

1:03:51 > 1:03:55James has got a new series called Great British Hairdresser. Is that you?

1:03:55 > 1:03:59Well, I'm training new hairdressers to become me.

1:03:59 > 1:04:03His growing popularity was almost as mysterious as his language.

1:04:03 > 1:04:06Very soft. Super, super simple Very erratic.

1:04:06 > 1:04:08Lovely, lovely soft texture.

1:04:08 > 1:04:09Quite lumpy.

1:04:09 > 1:04:13But the cue to become the next egomaniac celebrity hairdresser

1:04:13 > 1:04:17dwindled dramatically when James's big mouth went wild

1:04:17 > 1:04:22backstage at this year's BAFTA awards, shocking everyone.

1:04:22 > 1:04:25There must have been a sale on the word "nigger" that day,

1:04:25 > 1:04:27because he just couldn't let it go.

1:04:27 > 1:04:30So it's like three for five on the nigger. Jesus!

1:04:30 > 1:04:35Surely once is enough. Eight times? Come on, now, that's abuse!

1:04:35 > 1:04:38I tell you what does annoy me, though. Who was counting?

1:04:38 > 1:04:43Who was doing the tally? Like, one, two...

1:04:43 > 1:04:46Instead of stopping it, you was counting? Eight times?

1:04:46 > 1:04:51The man keeping the count, and bearing the brunt of the trash-talking trouble-maker

1:04:51 > 1:04:56was media personality Ben Douglas, who swiftly took his offence to the pages of the Daily Mail.

1:04:56 > 1:05:01But, of course, James dipped into the badly-behaved celebrity excuse box

1:05:01 > 1:05:03and pulled out a classic line.

1:05:03 > 1:05:04Because he was drunk.

1:05:04 > 1:05:07We've all done stupid things when we're drunk,

1:05:07 > 1:05:09but that's no excuse, I'm afraid.

1:05:09 > 1:05:12How do people get so drunk that you lose the boundary

1:05:12 > 1:05:15of such an abhorrent word?

1:05:15 > 1:05:17So to just come out with it in a public place,

1:05:17 > 1:05:19it's just frigging unbelievable.

1:05:19 > 1:05:22I'm surprised he didn't finish the night outside hailing a taxi

1:05:22 > 1:05:24with a white hood and a lit cross going,

1:05:24 > 1:05:27"I'm only having a laugh. Chill out, everyone. Hooray!"

1:05:27 > 1:05:31In a world of the annoying celebrity, not all press is good.

1:05:31 > 1:05:35Hungover apologies in the press try to repair the damage but left

1:05:35 > 1:05:38our celebrity hairdresser with a serious case of hair of the dog.

1:05:38 > 1:05:41The one thing in James Brown's favour is the fact that he is friends with,

1:05:41 > 1:05:46and the hairdresser to, Kate Moss, and I think that once you've got golden Kate on your arm,

1:05:46 > 1:05:51you'll always be OK. James Brown will bounce back as long as Kate still has him on speed dial.

1:05:51 > 1:05:56He claims to be able to read Kate Moss's mind, he knows her so well.

1:05:56 > 1:06:02So, this guy has mindreading ability. James, what am I thinking?

1:06:02 > 1:06:06At 31, another bigmouth strikes again.

1:06:06 > 1:06:10# Stop me, oh Oh, oh, stop me... #

1:06:10 > 1:06:14Morrissey was up to his usual outspoken tricks in July this year,

1:06:14 > 1:06:19with his comments following the massacre of 97 young Norwegians on Utoya Island by Anders Breivik.

1:06:19 > 1:06:23Whilst performing in Warsaw just a few days after the shooting,

1:06:23 > 1:06:28animal lover Moz introduced old Smiths song Meat Is Murder with the following.

1:06:28 > 1:06:33We all live in a murderer's world, as the events in Norway have shown

1:06:33 > 1:06:36with 97 dead.

1:06:36 > 1:06:44Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Shit every day.

1:06:44 > 1:06:49Morrissey trying to equate the eating of chickens

1:06:49 > 1:06:56and cows to the callous murder of 97 young people is possibly

1:06:56 > 1:06:59one of the most annoying statements of the year.

1:06:59 > 1:07:04Honestly, you're more worried about chickens than you are about people.

1:07:04 > 1:07:07You need to kind of adjust yourself.

1:07:07 > 1:07:10# Who said I'd lied to her? #

1:07:10 > 1:07:13Oh, dear, why did you say that, Moz?

1:07:13 > 1:07:18I suppose, in his old age, he's just getting more and more bitter.

1:07:18 > 1:07:20Just be yourself, and that's all I ever do.

1:07:20 > 1:07:24Morrissey loves animals, and we all know that,

1:07:24 > 1:07:29but sometimes maybe he should think a little of people's feelings.

1:07:31 > 1:07:34# Stop me, oh Oh, oh, stop me... #

1:07:34 > 1:07:36I can't imagine there were people in Norway going,

1:07:36 > 1:07:38"Oh, my gosh, this is awful! But it could be worse -

1:07:38 > 1:07:41"We could be having a bargain bucket right now."

1:07:41 > 1:07:45# Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before... #

1:07:45 > 1:07:47If you listen to Morrissey long enough,

1:07:47 > 1:07:49it will make you want to take up eating meat.

1:07:49 > 1:07:52He's got it all wrong.

1:07:52 > 1:07:56As soon as he said it, I had a burger just to get on his tits.

1:08:00 > 1:08:03Listen, I get it, you know what I mean?

1:08:03 > 1:08:07Let's look after the tiny little creatures, but you can see chickens

1:08:07 > 1:08:13and cows all over the world going, "Morrissey, shut up. We'll just speak for ourselves, thanks."

1:08:14 > 1:08:18Up next, a bothersome bride.

1:08:18 > 1:08:22# Hey, baby I think I wanna marry you... #

1:08:22 > 1:08:27We all love a good wedding, and there have been loads this year -

1:08:27 > 1:08:30Kate and Wills, Kate and Jamie, Kim and...what's his name?

1:08:30 > 1:08:35But excessive spending on the big day tends to get us a bit wound up

1:08:35 > 1:08:42and this blushing bride got us annoyed by splashing out on enough wedding dresses for all of them.

1:08:42 > 1:08:47After her marriage to Joe Glass, Helene Manca's compulsive wedding dress purchase disorder

1:08:47 > 1:08:50hit the headlines when it was revealed

1:08:50 > 1:08:55that she had spent £20,000 buying 18 different dresses for the ceremony.

1:08:55 > 1:08:59I was surprised that people would be interested in the first place,

1:08:59 > 1:09:02but I was even more surprised that people would have such strong opinion

1:09:02 > 1:09:05about something that, to me, was just some fun.

1:09:05 > 1:09:0920 grand? That's the average cost of a wedding

1:09:09 > 1:09:13and she spent it just on being completely self-involved.

1:09:13 > 1:09:18A lot of women have a specific idea, but I was kind of the opposite.

1:09:18 > 1:09:20I just liked many, many, many.

1:09:20 > 1:09:25# I wish I knew what dress to wear... #

1:09:25 > 1:09:28In France, a lot of people change for the evening,

1:09:28 > 1:09:32so I thought, you know, two is a reasonable number.

1:09:32 > 1:09:37But then it carried on, and the more I tried on the more I thought

1:09:37 > 1:09:41that it was the one I had to wear, and I ended up buying quite a few.

1:09:41 > 1:09:47Yes, that's 18, actually, Helene, but you didn't even wear half of them.

1:09:47 > 1:09:50Helene bought 18 dresses, wore nine on the day.

1:09:50 > 1:09:53I'm trying to settle on ONE for my big day.

1:09:55 > 1:09:57I did try to narrow things down,

1:09:57 > 1:09:59which is why I ended up only wearing nine.

1:09:59 > 1:10:03# Cos we are living in a material world

1:10:03 > 1:10:07# And I am a material girl... #

1:10:07 > 1:10:09Now £20,000 is a lot of wedding wonga,

1:10:09 > 1:10:12so, did the nuptial nine deliver their matrimonial money's worth?

1:10:12 > 1:10:15The main one was obviously the ceremony one.

1:10:15 > 1:10:17Cost - £3,200.

1:10:17 > 1:10:20Time worn - 90 minutes.

1:10:20 > 1:10:24Then there was the one when I arrived at the reception.

1:10:24 > 1:10:29Then there was one for the cocktail and one for the dinner.

1:10:29 > 1:10:33Then there was one for the speeches and one for the cutting of the cake.

1:10:33 > 1:10:35Then one for the first dance.

1:10:35 > 1:10:38And then one for the party at the end.

1:10:38 > 1:10:40And then one for right at the end,

1:10:40 > 1:10:44when the party was even more swinging.

1:10:44 > 1:10:47The dresses that she wore were quite complicated.

1:10:47 > 1:10:50They're not the kind of thing you can slip into yourself.

1:10:50 > 1:10:53So, she had seven bridesmaids or something,

1:10:53 > 1:10:56so a large amount of the wedding party spent most of their time

1:10:56 > 1:11:01in a toilet cubicle where you're going, "Oh, get it on me. Zip it up, zip it up!"

1:11:01 > 1:11:03It must be quite annoying, being a guest at the wedding -

1:11:03 > 1:11:06you can't really relax, you can't get rid of your camera

1:11:06 > 1:11:09because you've got to keep it on you to get a shot of the next dress.

1:11:09 > 1:11:14You can't drink too much cos you've to remember each dress. It's a bit selfish, really, Helene.

1:11:14 > 1:11:16Hello! It's not all about you. There's a groom there.

1:11:16 > 1:11:19You're exchanging vows. It's meant to be about the day.

1:11:19 > 1:11:20# Glamorous... #

1:11:20 > 1:11:25Joe was actually really supportive and he thought it was a really fun idea

1:11:25 > 1:11:27and he just wanted me to be happy and do whatever.

1:11:27 > 1:11:29# Those wedding bells... #

1:11:29 > 1:11:33Apparently, her husband changed his degree

1:11:33 > 1:11:37and he's now studying finance, and I think he's going to need it.

1:11:37 > 1:11:40- # Wedding bells - Wedding bells

1:11:40 > 1:11:43# Those wedding bells... #

1:11:43 > 1:11:47At number 29, it's a little something for the kids.

1:11:48 > 1:11:532011 saw the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

1:11:53 > 1:11:57There were plenty of fitting tributes throughout the world

1:11:57 > 1:12:01including memorial services in both New York and London.

1:12:01 > 1:12:04But then, there was also this.

1:12:04 > 1:12:07We Shall Never Forget 9/11 is a colouring book

1:12:07 > 1:12:09aimed at children aged up to 11.

1:12:09 > 1:12:12The book features a number of crayon-friendly images

1:12:12 > 1:12:16associated either with the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre

1:12:16 > 1:12:19in 2001, or the subsequent US hunt for Osama Bin Laden.

1:12:19 > 1:12:21I'm all for remembering history

1:12:21 > 1:12:24and helping children to engage with history in a creative way,

1:12:24 > 1:12:28but there is a taste and decency line that's clearly been breached

1:12:28 > 1:12:31by having young children colour in the orange flames of doom.

1:12:31 > 1:12:35Most annoying to me is that you would even take an event like that

1:12:35 > 1:12:38and try to bring it down to a childlike level.

1:12:38 > 1:12:41"OK, here you go, kids, this is what happened.

1:12:41 > 1:12:44"You see that guy in the turban? He's bad."

1:12:44 > 1:12:46That's just a horrible, horrible thing to do.

1:12:46 > 1:12:49It's not a book about acceptance,

1:12:49 > 1:12:52it's a book about singling out different cultures

1:12:52 > 1:12:55and that's a very sad thing to be teaching children.

1:12:55 > 1:13:00Despite its critics, the publisher of the book, Wayne Bell, has argued it has no agenda

1:13:00 > 1:13:04and is simply a factual depiction of the events surrounding 9/11.

1:13:04 > 1:13:06There's no statement attached to this book.

1:13:06 > 1:13:08This book is based on market research.

1:13:08 > 1:13:11It's based on what people tell us that they're looking for.

1:13:11 > 1:13:14The book has become a big hit for Wayne.

1:13:14 > 1:13:17It's the fastest selling his company has ever published

1:13:17 > 1:13:20and has travelled to 157 countries around the world.

1:13:20 > 1:13:24But not everyone is convinced how appropriate it is for kids.

1:13:26 > 1:13:28This is the best picture.

1:13:28 > 1:13:32Not only is it a man holding the gun on Osama and his wife,

1:13:32 > 1:13:34but also, the bullet is on the way.

1:13:34 > 1:13:37You don't even have to colour in the bullet.

1:13:37 > 1:13:41It's there, it's midway, it's black and it's full of death.

1:13:41 > 1:13:43The most annoying thing about this book is that

1:13:43 > 1:13:46George Bush has been drawn with a bit of intelligence

1:13:46 > 1:13:50and integrity, which is wholly inaccurate.

1:13:50 > 1:13:52However, bonus,

1:13:52 > 1:13:56you can just write "knob" on his forehead, wherever you want.

1:13:56 > 1:13:59It's up there with the Titanic ice-cube maker

1:13:59 > 1:14:01and the Hiroshima microwave oven.

1:14:01 > 1:14:03That's how tasteless this is.

1:14:03 > 1:14:06Revealing some true colours at 28,

1:14:06 > 1:14:09we've got some very dodgy commentators.

1:14:09 > 1:14:11# Flintstones Meet the Flintstones... #

1:14:11 > 1:14:16It might have been the Ice Age that killed off the Pterodactyl and T-Rex, but it was sexist

1:14:16 > 1:14:22and outdated attitudes that saw the extinction of our next annoying duo.

1:14:22 > 1:14:25Gray and Keys simply didn't realise they were dinosaurs.

1:14:25 > 1:14:29Sky Sports front men, Richard Keys and Andy Gray,

1:14:29 > 1:14:31actually dated not from pre-history but from an era

1:14:31 > 1:14:36when real men were in the pub and a woman's place was in the kitchen.

1:14:36 > 1:14:40Having dared to abandon the washing up, referee's assistant Sian Massey

1:14:40 > 1:14:45got the full misogynist treatment as Sky Sports' archaic analysts

1:14:45 > 1:14:49prepared for live coverage of Wolves v Liverpool in the Premier League.

1:14:49 > 1:14:53Well, somebody better get down there and explain offside to her.

1:14:53 > 1:14:58Yeah, I know. Can you believe that? Female linesmen, eh?

1:14:58 > 1:15:01That's exactly what I said. Women don't know the offside rule.

1:15:01 > 1:15:03Of course they don't.

1:15:03 > 1:15:06Women are brain surgeons, women are astronauts,

1:15:06 > 1:15:10yet for some reason the offside rule is apparently like kryptonite to us,

1:15:10 > 1:15:15that when you explain quite simply the rules of a GAME to us, we're unable to understand it.

1:15:15 > 1:15:17In the match, she actually got it bang on.

1:15:17 > 1:15:21It was a really contentious decision, and she nailed it

1:15:21 > 1:15:24better than most other linespeople that I've ever seen.

1:15:24 > 1:15:28Waldorf and Statler, two blokes from the Muppets, very much like that.

1:15:28 > 1:15:31- What do you think of it so far? - Oh, rubbish, bloody women.

1:15:31 > 1:15:34- Don't know what offside is. - I- don't know what offside is.

1:15:34 > 1:15:37West Ham chief Karren Brady was next in the firing line

1:15:37 > 1:15:42as their off-air chat was recorded and then MYSTERIOUSLY leaked to the media.

1:15:42 > 1:15:46Did you see charming Karren Brady this morning, on about sexism?

1:15:46 > 1:15:48Yeah, do me a favour, love.

1:15:48 > 1:15:53Now, Karren Brady, when I've seen her on The Apprentice, she's got the eyes of a shark.

1:15:53 > 1:15:56I think that woman could kill you without touching you

1:15:56 > 1:16:00and to pick her, I think, wasn't the best choice of person

1:16:00 > 1:16:03because I think she could really give you a doing.

1:16:03 > 1:16:08Today, Andy Gray wasn't at home but his fiancee was.

1:16:08 > 1:16:12He's wanted to apologise for the last few days,

1:16:12 > 1:16:14desperately wanted to apologise.

1:16:15 > 1:16:19Sky bosses, unimpressed by Andy getting "her indoors"

1:16:19 > 1:16:22to apologise for him, showed Gray the red card

1:16:22 > 1:16:27whilst his sexist sidekick tried his best to avoid the subs bench.

1:16:27 > 1:16:33I'm on my way into London now, to start apologising to the people that I need to.

1:16:33 > 1:16:38For the immediate, I would just like to say how deeply sorry I am

1:16:38 > 1:16:43for the part I have played in causing this furore.

1:16:43 > 1:16:47Interviewed on Talk Sport, Keys revealed he'd apologised to Sian Massey

1:16:47 > 1:16:49and tried to call Karren Brady too.

1:16:49 > 1:16:52I remember Richard Keys saying,

1:16:52 > 1:16:55"Oh, I can't believe Karren Brady hasn't returned my call.

1:16:55 > 1:16:57"I was trying to get in touch with her."

1:16:57 > 1:17:00Under his breath, he's muttering the words, "typical woman."

1:17:00 > 1:17:02Do you know what I mean? In your own time, love.

1:17:02 > 1:17:04# Boys will be boys... #

1:17:04 > 1:17:08Keys resigned, and the internet was suddenly awash with lewd clips.

1:17:08 > 1:17:14The first of which involved Andy Gray suggestively inviting Sky co-presenter, Charlotte Jackson,

1:17:14 > 1:17:17to stick a radio mic down his trousers.

1:17:17 > 1:17:20Asking a lady to tuck in your mic

1:17:20 > 1:17:25and pointing downwards is not a good idea, not a good idea.

1:17:25 > 1:17:28# Boys will be boys... #

1:17:28 > 1:17:35Either Sky were waiting to give them the push or it was indeed an international cabal of feminazis

1:17:35 > 1:17:39who had been waiting for some time to get rid of Richard and Andy.

1:17:39 > 1:17:42I'm not saying which one is correct, all I am saying is that

1:17:42 > 1:17:47there are quite a lot of women in this country who know the true story.

1:17:50 > 1:17:55More annoying than Andy and Richard, we're pretty sure this next lot would get a few votes.

1:17:55 > 1:18:00Yes, we're talking politicians. Guaranteed to irritate us and this year was no exception.

1:18:00 > 1:18:04Here's our top three political cock-ups of 2011.

1:18:05 > 1:18:11In third place is Labour's very own Hazel Blears who blurted out a real blunder during the UK riots.

1:18:11 > 1:18:15In an interview with Sky News, Hazel forgot why the kids weren't in school...

1:18:15 > 1:18:17during the summer holidays.

1:18:17 > 1:18:21I think we also - not right now, but later on - we need to think

1:18:21 > 1:18:24about some of our young people and why are they not in school?

1:18:24 > 1:18:26I don't know if she was suffering from memory loss

1:18:26 > 1:18:28or just a loss of perspective -

1:18:28 > 1:18:30whether they should be in school or not,

1:18:30 > 1:18:32they shouldn't be throwing rocks through windows.

1:18:32 > 1:18:38At number two is George Osborne. The Chancellor of the Exchequer made a goofy gaff at the GQ Awards

1:18:38 > 1:18:40when he picked up a gong. Attempting to crack one out,

1:18:40 > 1:18:44George remarked the politics pages of the magazine were the only ones

1:18:44 > 1:18:48not usually stuck together by readers' bodily fluids.

1:18:48 > 1:18:51George Osborne really let himself down by making that classic mistake

1:18:51 > 1:18:54of trying to be funny as a politician.

1:18:54 > 1:18:57If he was an open spot at a comedy club, he'd have been booed off.

1:18:57 > 1:19:00Fundamentally, he should be looking at the economy

1:19:00 > 1:19:02and not thinking about wank jokes.

1:19:02 > 1:19:06You could see people going, "What the...? Get off!"

1:19:08 > 1:19:12Joint winners at number one are gruesome twosome Cameron and Clegg.

1:19:12 > 1:19:14Earlier this year, Dave and Nick were poised

1:19:14 > 1:19:17for the perfect photo opp at Guy's Hospital.

1:19:17 > 1:19:18But there was a problem.

1:19:18 > 1:19:22The coalition crew hadn't bothered to follow strict hospital hygiene standards.

1:19:22 > 1:19:27Enter outraged senior surgeon David Nunn to give them a roasting.

1:19:29 > 1:19:33Sorry, just a minute. Excuse me. I am the senior orthopaedic surgeon in this department.

1:19:33 > 1:19:35Why are we all told to walk around like this?

1:19:35 > 1:19:37They looked flustered. "Oh, what do we do here?

1:19:37 > 1:19:41"We're supposed to look great with the patients." It was a sweet moment.

1:19:41 > 1:19:43Can you come and talk to me about it?

1:19:43 > 1:19:47Cameron was trying to smooth it all over and the guy just went,

1:19:47 > 1:19:49"No, get out."

1:19:50 > 1:19:53I agree. Thanks. Because we're all taking our ties off.

1:19:53 > 1:19:58They got lobbed out by the doctor because they were unhygienic. Good.

1:19:58 > 1:20:00I'm not having it. Out.

1:20:00 > 1:20:04It's good they were told off for that, cos there's no telling where Clegg's fingers has been.

1:20:04 > 1:20:06HE COUGHS

1:20:09 > 1:20:12Returning to our top 50.

1:20:12 > 1:20:15Parading in at 27 are some serious sluts.

1:20:15 > 1:20:17# Hit me, go! Get your freak on... #

1:20:17 > 1:20:22Back in January 2011, a Toronto policeman caused outrage in Canada

1:20:22 > 1:20:26when his un-PC advice to a group of female students made headline news.

1:20:26 > 1:20:33His suggestion that dressing like a slut increased a woman's chances of attack caused a storm of protest.

1:20:33 > 1:20:37It's not acceptable, and transfers the blame and responsibility

1:20:37 > 1:20:41for such a vicious crime from the person that it should fall squarely on, which is the perpetrator.

1:20:41 > 1:20:45It's a really outdated idea that a woman who dresses

1:20:45 > 1:20:49in a particular way is asking to be raped or attacked

1:20:49 > 1:20:52or something, and that a police officer

1:20:52 > 1:20:57would actually perpetuate this stupid myth is just insane.

1:20:57 > 1:21:03In response to the outcry, the women of Toronto organised a public protest

1:21:03 > 1:21:05and provocatively named it the SlutWalk.

1:21:05 > 1:21:11For me and, I think for a number of other people, it's an attempt to reclaim the word "slut" itself

1:21:11 > 1:21:14because once you reclaim it, you take the power from it.

1:21:14 > 1:21:16# I've got the power! #

1:21:16 > 1:21:20I'm all for women's lib. I'm all for, just because I'm flashing my nipple

1:21:20 > 1:21:22in your face doesn't mean you have to lick it.

1:21:22 > 1:21:25The protest caught the world's attention

1:21:25 > 1:21:29and soon, communities across the globe wanted to join in.

1:21:29 > 1:21:33It's the latest in a series of international demonstrations called SlutWalks.

1:21:33 > 1:21:37We found out on the internet and we were like, "We wish this was happening in the States.

1:21:37 > 1:21:41"We wish we could do this", and then we kind of just decided to do it.

1:21:41 > 1:21:44One policeman in Canada says, "Don't dress like a slut

1:21:44 > 1:21:49"because then you'll get attacked and the blame will all be on you."

1:21:49 > 1:21:55From that one comment, across the world, women went out and marched.

1:21:55 > 1:21:57CHANTING: Two! Four! Six! Eight!

1:21:57 > 1:22:01There was actually one in Ireland, but they dressed up in anoraks.

1:22:01 > 1:22:04It was raining, let's give them that, but...

1:22:04 > 1:22:07"Oh, look, I have my anorak open. That's slutty enough for me."

1:22:07 > 1:22:10However we dress, wherever we go...

1:22:10 > 1:22:15The SlutWalk is going to be the women's pride contingency of like the gay pride parades.

1:22:15 > 1:22:21It's going to be the SlutWalk women's pride, every single city across the world.

1:22:21 > 1:22:24I really hope the SlutWalk becomes a national holiday.

1:22:24 > 1:22:28CHANTING

1:22:28 > 1:22:32At 26, it's little miss perfect.

1:22:34 > 1:22:37This has been the year of Gwyneth Paltrow.

1:22:37 > 1:22:41Everywhere you look, Gwyneth is there - her website,

1:22:41 > 1:22:42her appearances on Glee,

1:22:42 > 1:22:45her films - she is everywhere!

1:22:45 > 1:22:48MUSIC: "Forget You" by Gwyneth Paltrow

1:22:48 > 1:22:52She looks unbelievable. The woman has the best legs in Hollywood.

1:22:52 > 1:22:55All these women everywhere are just like, "We need to look like her!

1:22:55 > 1:22:57"She looks amazing. Her skin's amazing!"

1:22:57 > 1:23:00And it all just gets quite overwhelming.

1:23:00 > 1:23:05Gwyneth Paltrow is an actress and yet she has been doing everything OTHER than that right in our faces.

1:23:05 > 1:23:08I can sing, and look at my website.

1:23:08 > 1:23:11I'll tell you how to be the perfect mother, role model and housewife.

1:23:11 > 1:23:15She's kind of treating us like she thinks we think she's normal.

1:23:15 > 1:23:18Literally, this woman is unbelievable.

1:23:18 > 1:23:21If being an impossibly glamorous A-lister

1:23:21 > 1:23:23and an amazing mum isn't annoying enough,

1:23:23 > 1:23:272011 was also the year that Gwyneth revealed she can cook too.

1:23:27 > 1:23:30I think it's really important, as I said, to make home-made food,

1:23:30 > 1:23:35just the experience of that, you know, making food for your kids and people that you love.

1:23:35 > 1:23:38With her book Notes From My Kitchen,

1:23:38 > 1:23:41she lifted the lid on what she and that bloke from Coldplay eat

1:23:41 > 1:23:44when they're not on their latest celebrity fad diets.

1:23:44 > 1:23:47Gwyneth Paltrow's cookery book is a work of art,

1:23:47 > 1:23:49if it was a work of satire.

1:23:49 > 1:23:51She doesn't look like she eats.

1:23:51 > 1:23:54I'm sorry, but it must be

1:23:54 > 1:23:58a very thin volume, really. Ah, it's just, er...

1:23:58 > 1:24:00water.

1:24:00 > 1:24:02There's a burger in there.

1:24:02 > 1:24:05It's not just a burger, it's a cheese-stuffed burger.

1:24:05 > 1:24:10Now, I've figured it out. She doesn't eat any of the food that's in her book, she licks it.

1:24:10 > 1:24:13But it wasn't just the food that was the problem.

1:24:13 > 1:24:17It was also the superstar cost of making it.

1:24:17 > 1:24:22What's most annoying is the obvious lack of being in touch

1:24:22 > 1:24:25with the reality the rest of us are living in.

1:24:25 > 1:24:30Her brownie recipe actually costs about £45 to make.

1:24:30 > 1:24:35Now, if you think 45 quid for some brownies sounds like a lot,

1:24:35 > 1:24:38we actually costed the ingredients Gwyneth recommends.

1:24:38 > 1:24:44By the time you've bought items like imported Vermont maple syrup, brown rice syrup and high-quality cocoa,

1:24:44 > 1:24:47the total cost actually came to nearer £50.

1:24:47 > 1:24:51Best of all, though, are Gwyneth's shopping tips.

1:24:51 > 1:24:54One point she had in her cookbook that I thought was extraordinary -

1:24:54 > 1:24:57the idea that you should take your kids to the supermarket

1:24:57 > 1:24:59and give them their own trolley.

1:24:59 > 1:25:02It would be chaos in the supermarkets of Britain.

1:25:02 > 1:25:07They say Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't live in the real world. I've no idea where they get that.

1:25:10 > 1:25:12Round 25.

1:25:12 > 1:25:17Our next annoyer certainly proved anything BUT a knockout in 2011.

1:25:17 > 1:25:21I wanted to support him so much because he's from South London,

1:25:21 > 1:25:22I'm from South London.

1:25:22 > 1:25:26I was like, "Yes, finally someone we could cheer on and champion!"

1:25:28 > 1:25:31Having been crowned WBA Champion in 2009,

1:25:31 > 1:25:35preening pugilist David Haye sought to unify the various

1:25:35 > 1:25:39world heavyweight titles by taking on and beating Wladimir Klitschko,

1:25:39 > 1:25:43the younger of the gigantic Klitschko brothers from Kazakhstan.

1:25:44 > 1:25:48But David's preparations for the fight seemed a little unusual.

1:25:48 > 1:25:51CHRIS MOYLES: Boxing royalty - David Haye! Whoa!

1:25:51 > 1:25:53Whoo-whoo-whoo!

1:25:53 > 1:25:56They mainly seemed to involve chat-show sofas.

1:25:56 > 1:25:58'He just absolutely lost the plot.'

1:25:58 > 1:26:01I think he was on Alan Carr, he was on Graham Norton,

1:26:01 > 1:26:07he was giving it absolutely loads. His sportsmanship went completely out the window.

1:26:07 > 1:26:11In the build-up to the match he just...kept on talking.

1:26:11 > 1:26:14He just kept on going on and on and on.

1:26:14 > 1:26:16..championship in Germany...

1:26:16 > 1:26:19..we'll remember the fight itself. I've gone over to someone's hotel...

1:26:19 > 1:26:22I will knock out Wladimir Klitschko.

1:26:22 > 1:26:25# You only get one shot So make it count... #

1:26:25 > 1:26:30No punches were pulled when it came to dissing his opponent, who he even compared to Borat.

1:26:30 > 1:26:32Ohh, it's nice.

1:26:32 > 1:26:38It's definitely below the belt line, and it's the wrong attitude.

1:26:38 > 1:26:41# You only get one shot So make it count... #

1:26:41 > 1:26:44David Haye's promotional gimmicks were just...

1:26:44 > 1:26:47they were just so disrespectful, so childish.

1:26:47 > 1:26:51Yes, this is a good picture of me with Wladimir

1:26:51 > 1:26:54and Vitali Klitschko's severed heads.

1:26:54 > 1:26:58# There's only one David Haye. #

1:26:58 > 1:27:0210,000 British fans travelled out to Hamburg with high hopes

1:27:02 > 1:27:04of seeing The Hayemaker triumph.

1:27:04 > 1:27:08At the end of the day, David Haye's bark was way worse than his bite.

1:27:08 > 1:27:12Despite all the hype, Haye proved more chump than champ

1:27:12 > 1:27:15with Klitschko winning on points after 12 rounds.

1:27:17 > 1:27:20I'm sure there's been many a boxer that have fought till

1:27:20 > 1:27:23the bitter end with broken arms, broken ribs,

1:27:23 > 1:27:27but he, his little toe ruined it for him.

1:27:27 > 1:27:31# Be a star But who's laughing now?

1:27:31 > 1:27:34# Who's laughing now? #

1:27:34 > 1:27:37I hate it when boxers make excuses after fights. It makes me sick.

1:27:37 > 1:27:42I broke my toe three weeks ago and there was no way I was going to pull out of this fight.

1:27:42 > 1:27:45He broke his toe? Really?

1:27:45 > 1:27:48Yeah, because of course when you're pushing off for a punch,

1:27:48 > 1:27:54it all comes from the toe - not from the fists, the waist or the rest of the body, it's all in that toe.

1:27:54 > 1:27:58And in case we doubted that David had a sore toe, he walked around for the next month

1:27:58 > 1:28:03with open-toe sandals, just so you could see. "Hey, look at my toe. It's really sore."

1:28:05 > 1:28:08Afterwards, though, the Klitschkos got their revenge.

1:28:08 > 1:28:11They had a T-shirt made with a severed toe just to wind him up,

1:28:11 > 1:28:14because that was the real reason that David lost the fight.

2:00:00 > 2:00:03At 24, it's our very own Search for a Star.

2:00:03 > 2:00:07We're on the lookout for someone with the annoying factor.

2:00:07 > 2:00:10Could this man have what it takes?

2:00:10 > 2:00:12We're going to have a good time whatever happens. I hope.

2:00:12 > 2:00:18'Well, after the sort of year he had in 2011 it's going to be 1,000% yes, from us.'

2:00:19 > 2:00:22This is a man who has £200,000,000 in the bank

2:00:22 > 2:00:25and yet he still cuts his hair with a strimmer.

2:00:25 > 2:00:27He is not to be trusted.

2:00:27 > 2:00:30Can you have any likeability when your career

2:00:30 > 2:00:32is pretty much to break people's dreams?

2:00:32 > 2:00:34There was a headline in the New York Post -

2:00:34 > 2:00:35"Even God hates Simon Cowell."

2:00:35 > 2:00:39Simon Cowell got his year off to an annoying start

2:00:39 > 2:00:42when he announced that he was turning his back on

2:00:42 > 2:00:44the X Factor here in the UK.

2:00:44 > 2:00:47Apparently, launching the US version of the show was more important.

2:00:47 > 2:00:50Thanks for nothing, Simon.

2:00:50 > 2:00:54His biggest fanbase! He's BELOVED in the UK. He left. He left.

2:00:54 > 2:00:57Not only did Cowell quit his place on the UK judging panel,

2:00:57 > 2:01:01he also added insult to injury by taking our favourite

2:01:01 > 2:01:03X Factor judge, Cheryl Cole, with him.

2:01:03 > 2:01:06I just think there's going to be some really great talent here

2:01:06 > 2:01:08and I'm excited to get my teeth into it.

2:01:08 > 2:01:12Poor Cheryl barely had time to have her first nibble

2:01:12 > 2:01:15before Cowell decided she was the one lacking bite

2:01:15 > 2:01:18and unceremoniously dumped her from her new job.

2:01:18 > 2:01:20Cheryl Cole from South Shields, love her.

2:01:20 > 2:01:22She's the best person in the world,

2:01:22 > 2:01:25and I hated the way he treated Cheryl Cole.

2:01:26 > 2:01:30For anyone annoyed by his treatment of Chezza,

2:01:30 > 2:01:33the good news was that karma came back and bit Simon on the backside.

2:01:33 > 2:01:38Both versions of the X Factor recorded poor ratings this year.

2:01:38 > 2:01:42It's a good job he had other shows like Red Or Black to fall back on(!)

2:01:42 > 2:01:46Simon Cowell's probably had his worst year in the last ten years,

2:01:46 > 2:01:48and Red Or Black was certainly the lowest point.

2:01:48 > 2:01:50When you see just people going,

2:01:50 > 2:01:54"Mmm, heads, tails, red, black, whatever..." We don't care.

2:01:54 > 2:01:56Simon's not that bothered any more.

2:01:56 > 2:01:58"I'm so busy making so much money

2:01:58 > 2:02:00"that I've got to come up with another TV show.

2:02:00 > 2:02:03"Let's do heads or tails, but we can't just do that.

2:02:03 > 2:02:05"Let's call it Red Or Black. Job done.

2:02:05 > 2:02:07"Right, I'm off to LA. See you in a bit."

2:02:07 > 2:02:10Genuinely couldn't care. No interest.

2:02:10 > 2:02:14Not only did Red Or Black struggle to get viewers excited,

2:02:14 > 2:02:15it also managed to annoy us

2:02:15 > 2:02:19when it turned out its first £1 million winner, Nathan Hageman,

2:02:19 > 2:02:21had a bit of a dodgy background.

2:02:21 > 2:02:23The fact that the first winner of Red Or Black was

2:02:23 > 2:02:26this guy that's been in jail for beating up women,

2:02:26 > 2:02:28it's just an incredible oversight.

2:02:28 > 2:02:32It just reflects really badly on Simon Cowell.

2:02:32 > 2:02:35Unfortunately, what happened was the guy who won it

2:02:35 > 2:02:37was kind of a convicted wife-beater.

2:02:37 > 2:02:41So perhaps they should have called it Black And Blue in homage to him.

2:02:44 > 2:02:47Though his star might have been on the wane this year,

2:02:47 > 2:02:51recent estimates put Cowell's fortune at £200 million.

2:02:51 > 2:02:55It's a good job he's still got a bob or two,

2:02:55 > 2:02:58as this was the year he revealed he's made post-break-up payments

2:02:58 > 2:03:01to past girlfriends like Sinitta and Terri Seymour.

2:03:01 > 2:03:03So why would he do that, then?

2:03:03 > 2:03:05It emerged that he pays almost alimony payments

2:03:05 > 2:03:09to all his ex-girlfriends, but those girls certainly know about

2:03:09 > 2:03:10the skeletons in the cupboard,

2:03:10 > 2:03:13and he definitely wants to keep them on good terms.

2:03:13 > 2:03:15With rumours about one-off payments

2:03:15 > 2:03:17for his exes of anything up to 10 million,

2:03:17 > 2:03:22maybe the annoying thing is that he hasn't tried to get off with any of the rest of us.

2:03:24 > 2:03:27If someone could organise for me to go out with Simon Cowell,

2:03:27 > 2:03:30that would set me up. I can't afford to get my car wing mirror fixed.

2:03:30 > 2:03:34Maybe he'd pay for that. I dunno. Pick me, Simon!

2:03:34 > 2:03:36I'll be your girlfriend!

2:03:36 > 2:03:41Popping one out at 23, it's Brand Beckham. Getting even bigger.

2:03:41 > 2:03:43# Oh, na, na What's my name? #

2:03:44 > 2:03:48The Beckhams always score high in the most annoying list,

2:03:48 > 2:03:50and this year is no exception

2:03:50 > 2:03:53with the arrival of their latest edition, Harper Seven.

2:03:55 > 2:03:58The new baby in the family, the second person in the family

2:03:58 > 2:04:01that runs around crying with a high-pitched scream.

2:04:01 > 2:04:02After David, of course.

2:04:02 > 2:04:05It's different having a little girl.

2:04:05 > 2:04:08She's elegant. She sleeps in an elegant position.

2:04:08 > 2:04:10- Yeah?- Yeah. She's the cutest thing.

2:04:10 > 2:04:11It was just an odd name.

2:04:11 > 2:04:14You know, after Brooklyn and Romeo and Cruz,

2:04:14 > 2:04:16you thought, "Where can they go now?"

2:04:16 > 2:04:19The Beckhams have become very creative.

2:04:19 > 2:04:21Make love in Brooklyn - Brooklyn.

2:04:21 > 2:04:23Make love in Spain - Cruz.

2:04:23 > 2:04:25Make love in Rome - Romeo.

2:04:25 > 2:04:28Harper Seven must have been the time it was conceived.

2:04:28 > 2:04:30"What time was it?" "Ah, about 7.30."

2:04:30 > 2:04:33"That's the name of the baby. Thanks, Victoria."

2:04:33 > 2:04:34"Thanks, David."

2:04:34 > 2:04:36# Say my name, say my name. #

2:04:36 > 2:04:38So where did the curious name come from?

2:04:39 > 2:04:43He's named his daughter after his football shirt.

2:04:43 > 2:04:45That's amazing.

2:04:45 > 2:04:49The whole idea that Seven was born on the seventh hour

2:04:49 > 2:04:52of the seventh day and so it's kind of meaningful

2:04:52 > 2:04:55and significant is frankly tosh, isn't it?

2:04:55 > 2:04:58Or maybe it was more a case of selective timing

2:04:58 > 2:05:01by "too posh to push" Victoria.

2:05:01 > 2:05:04That said, I do have an uncle called Monday who was born on a Monday.

2:05:04 > 2:05:05So what you going to do?

2:05:05 > 2:05:10What's wrong with Emily? I quite like Emily. Susan.

2:05:10 > 2:05:12Their kids will get the piss taken out of them

2:05:12 > 2:05:14at school, and I feel sorry for them.

2:05:14 > 2:05:16What I find most annoying about Victoria is that

2:05:16 > 2:05:19she never puts the baby down.

2:05:19 > 2:05:23She carries around this little girl like an accessory, a handbag.

2:05:23 > 2:05:27I think she does it because she doesn't want to obscure

2:05:27 > 2:05:29the photographers' view of her shoes.

2:05:29 > 2:05:31# She's in fashion. #

2:05:31 > 2:05:35Working mum Posh managed to produce both a new baby

2:05:35 > 2:05:36and fashion line this year.

2:05:40 > 2:05:43But she's yet to give birth to a smile.

2:05:43 > 2:05:45Will nothing make that woman happy?

2:05:45 > 2:05:46She's never been a smiler.

2:05:46 > 2:05:48She's never been someone that you warm to

2:05:48 > 2:05:51and yet we're told that she's a very jokey personality

2:05:51 > 2:05:53behind closed doors. I would love to see that,

2:05:53 > 2:05:55to see how funny she is.

2:05:55 > 2:05:57Instead, we saw her at the Royal Wedding

2:05:57 > 2:06:00looking really miserable, really unhappy.

2:06:00 > 2:06:03Any rapper will tell you that you never smile in photos,

2:06:03 > 2:06:05and that's what I think it is.

2:06:05 > 2:06:08She secretly still harbours a bit of a hip-hop career.

2:06:08 > 2:06:11I think that it's just simply a case of anybody points

2:06:11 > 2:06:12a camera at her, she does a...

2:06:14 > 2:06:17I wish she'd smile occasionally. That's the only thing.

2:06:17 > 2:06:22Just please give Mr Paparazzi a little teensy-weensy smile.

2:06:22 > 2:06:26A new entry at 22. It's a maddening Manchester City striker.

2:06:29 > 2:06:33No, not that one, although fans were certainly riled by allegations

2:06:33 > 2:06:36from manager Mancini that Carlos Tevez had refused

2:06:36 > 2:06:40to get his backside off the subs bench for City versus Bayern Munich.

2:06:40 > 2:06:42But for sheer volume of annoyance, he can't compete

2:06:42 > 2:06:47with mohican-sporting Italian team-mate Mario Balotelli.

2:06:47 > 2:06:50He's like, "You know what? I know you've got media lessons,

2:06:50 > 2:06:54"but I can't be bothered with that. Forget it, I can take care of it."

2:06:54 > 2:06:55I'm not sure if you can, Mario.

2:06:55 > 2:07:00Super Mario inspired City to their first trophy in 35 years

2:07:00 > 2:07:02as they beat Stoke to win the FA Cup.

2:07:02 > 2:07:05His performances have lit up this season's Premier League,

2:07:05 > 2:07:08but it was off the pitch fireworks that hit the headlines

2:07:08 > 2:07:11when a prank at his mansion went horribly wrong.

2:07:15 > 2:07:17Mario Balotelli's behaviour with the fireworks,

2:07:17 > 2:07:19we have to take a dim view of that,

2:07:19 > 2:07:21because it's dangerous and it's wasting public money,

2:07:21 > 2:07:23but I pissed myself when I saw that story.

2:07:23 > 2:07:27What do you expect? How old is he? 19, 20?

2:07:27 > 2:07:30You go and stick him in a big house and say, "Bring your mates over."

2:07:30 > 2:07:34They're hardly going to sit down and watch Midsomer Murders on DVD.

2:07:34 > 2:07:36"Outside, it's just too far.

2:07:36 > 2:07:38"It's just too far to go outside.

2:07:38 > 2:07:41"Let's go to the bathroom and do our fireworks there."

2:07:45 > 2:07:48But it's always the little extra thought

2:07:48 > 2:07:50just seems to be lacking with Mario.

2:07:50 > 2:07:54And it's not the first time the barking-mad Balotelli

2:07:54 > 2:07:57has caused Mancini sleepless nights, with a charge sheet

2:07:57 > 2:08:00as long as a WAG's shopping list from Harvey Nicks.

2:08:02 > 2:08:04# I wake up Every day is a daydream. #

2:08:04 > 2:08:08In fact, Mario is so bonkers, he's even managed to rack up

2:08:08 > 2:08:12an incredible scoring record when it comes to parking fines.

2:08:12 > 2:08:16Everything is lost in translation. For him, parking fines,

2:08:16 > 2:08:18that might be a level of achievement.

2:08:18 > 2:08:22The guy's never received any form of certificate.

2:08:22 > 2:08:23Every time he receives one,

2:08:23 > 2:08:27put on his car, like... "Mucho bella!

2:08:27 > 2:08:30"A certificato! A certificato!"

2:08:30 > 2:08:34When he got caught by the police in his car with £5,000 cash

2:08:34 > 2:08:36and they asked him, "Why do you have £5,000?"

2:08:36 > 2:08:38He says, "Cos I'm rich."

2:08:38 > 2:08:42£5 to me is £5. Five grand to Mario is £5.

2:08:42 > 2:08:45So Mario is going to turn up at the shop and go,

2:08:45 > 2:08:47"Eh hey, I want those Hubba Bubbas.

2:08:47 > 2:08:51"Give me the Hubba Bubbas. Here's ten grand. Arrivederci."

2:08:51 > 2:08:53That's Mario. He's a confused guy.

2:08:53 > 2:08:57# Some people think I'm bonkers but I just think I'm free. #

2:08:57 > 2:09:02From City's most annoying player to their two most annoying fans.

2:09:02 > 2:09:04# Today is going to be the day

2:09:04 > 2:09:06# That they're going to throw it back to you. #

2:09:06 > 2:09:08Oasis - anyone remember them?

2:09:08 > 2:09:132011 was another year Noel and Liam annoyed us by yet again

2:09:13 > 2:09:17continuing to argue about the demise of their former band.

2:09:18 > 2:09:21They were one of the greatest bands of all time.

2:09:21 > 2:09:24They filled out stadiums. People flocked to see them.

2:09:24 > 2:09:28Now they just gripe and moan at each other constantly.

2:09:28 > 2:09:32He doesn't like me, you know, but he doesn't like me in a violent way.

2:09:32 > 2:09:36I don't get on with him. There's no point being in a band with people you fight with.

2:09:36 > 2:09:39But the sibling rivalry has always been there, but it's just

2:09:39 > 2:09:42really manifested itself into something else, a ball of fury now.

2:09:42 > 2:09:45Oasis might have split in 2009, but this year's

2:09:45 > 2:09:48our kid and our kid's usual bickering

2:09:48 > 2:09:51threatened to turn into a legal battle.

2:09:51 > 2:09:55The complete and utter breakdown in the Gallaghers' relationship

2:09:55 > 2:09:57was on full display this year

2:09:57 > 2:10:00when Liam decided he was going to sue Noel

2:10:00 > 2:10:03for claiming that he had missed an Oasis gig for being hungover.

2:10:06 > 2:10:08Liam brought in the lawyers after Noel said

2:10:08 > 2:10:11the singer had been less than truthful about why he missed

2:10:11 > 2:10:13the band's V Festival gig back in 2009.

2:10:13 > 2:10:17Noel said he didn't really have laryngitis,

2:10:17 > 2:10:20and Liam said, "Hold on, mate, I've got the doctor's note.

2:10:20 > 2:10:21"I'm going to sue the arse off you."

2:10:21 > 2:10:26How extreme is that? To potentially sue your brother

2:10:26 > 2:10:28over some throwaway comments.

2:10:28 > 2:10:31You just want to get these two in a room, sit them down,

2:10:31 > 2:10:33shake them both and say, "Sort this out."

2:10:33 > 2:10:37But getting these two in a room might not be such a good idea

2:10:37 > 2:10:41if the account Noel gave this year of their break-up is anything to go by.

2:10:41 > 2:10:44And for whatever reason, he went to his dressing room

2:10:44 > 2:10:46and he came back with a guitar, wielding it like an axe.

2:10:46 > 2:10:52It's a real unnecessary violent act, and he's swinging this guitar around

2:10:52 > 2:10:56and he kind of, you know, he nearly took my face off with it, you know.

2:10:56 > 2:10:59# You didn't know what to say. #

2:10:59 > 2:11:02Liam didn't seem too impressed with Noel spilling the beans

2:11:02 > 2:11:06and took to Twitter to offer his own verdict on his brother's big mouth.

2:11:06 > 2:11:09Liam tweeted the word "shitbag" in reference to Noel.

2:11:09 > 2:11:11They could just text each other and say,

2:11:11 > 2:11:14"Mate, I think you're being a bit of a cock."

2:11:14 > 2:11:19To see Liam reduced to twittering slightly abusive words

2:11:19 > 2:11:21towards his brother, it's like,

2:11:21 > 2:11:25"Gee, I thought they were a little bit more rock 'n' roll than that."

2:11:28 > 2:11:31They're old men who keep moaning. "My brother's a dickhead."

2:11:31 > 2:11:33"Yeah, my brother's a dickhead as well."

2:11:33 > 2:11:36Just get on with making the music. Don't argue.

2:11:36 > 2:11:37Lest we forget, these days

2:11:37 > 2:11:40Liam is best known for having his own clothing label,

2:11:40 > 2:11:44though judging by his style, it may be best avoided.

2:11:46 > 2:11:50But he isn't the only celebrity out there with a dodgy taste in threads.

2:11:50 > 2:11:54We present to you this year's top three frocky horrors.

2:11:54 > 2:11:58At 3, no, it's not that woman from Dragon's Den. It's Jessie J.

2:11:58 > 2:12:01Jessie J's got an alternative look going on.

2:12:01 > 2:12:04I remember her wearing that body-tight get-up

2:12:04 > 2:12:08and her hair kind of matched and she's got a great figure,

2:12:08 > 2:12:10but I'm just not going for the tight look, to be honest.

2:12:10 > 2:12:12It was like a pair of tights

2:12:12 > 2:12:14wrapped around her body.

2:12:14 > 2:12:17At 2, it's hip-hop superstar Nicki Minaj,

2:12:17 > 2:12:22a lady who clearly gets dressed in the dark whilst wearing a blindfold.

2:12:22 > 2:12:25She's like Lady Gaga times Lady Gaga.

2:12:25 > 2:12:28There's a fine line between being a trendsetter

2:12:28 > 2:12:31and being a crazy B-I-T-C-H.

2:12:33 > 2:12:36Taking the top spot is Princess Beatrice

2:12:36 > 2:12:40for daring to wear the hat from hell at the Royal Wedding back in April.

2:12:40 > 2:12:42I defy anyone to show me a worse-dressed celebrity

2:12:42 > 2:12:44than Princess Beatrice at the wedding.

2:12:44 > 2:12:48That hat was disgusting!

2:12:48 > 2:12:51Princess Beatrice genuinely wore

2:12:51 > 2:12:54that big antler on the front of her face to a wedding.

2:12:54 > 2:12:58Oh, bless her. She just made a mistake, didn't she?

2:13:00 > 2:13:04Back to business. At number 20, we have a very naughty boy.

2:13:04 > 2:13:08# We don't need no education. #

2:13:08 > 2:13:142011 has seen students continue to demonstrate about universities

2:13:14 > 2:13:18being given the right to charge £9,000 a year in tuition fees.

2:13:18 > 2:13:21For some of them, though, their protests went a little bit too far.

2:13:21 > 2:13:26'Few students could afford to come to court in a chauffeur-driven van,

2:13:26 > 2:13:30'but not every student has a multi-millionaire rock musician for a dad.'

2:13:30 > 2:13:34July saw Charlie Gilmour, the son of Pink Floyd guitarist Dave Gilmour,

2:13:34 > 2:13:37jailed for violent disorder following his actions

2:13:37 > 2:13:41at a student fees demonstration in London back in winter 2010.

2:13:41 > 2:13:45In a day of bad behaviour by the 19-year-old, it was this incident

2:13:45 > 2:13:49at the National Cenotaph that really annoyed the nation.

2:13:49 > 2:13:53The judge saved his most scathing criticism for Gilmour's

2:13:53 > 2:13:56behaviour here, telling him, "You have shown disrespect

2:13:56 > 2:14:01"for the ultimate sacrifice of those that fell defending this country."

2:14:01 > 2:14:05Charlie Gilmour's behaviour wasn't just annoying, was it, really?

2:14:05 > 2:14:10I mean, it was completely and utterly disgusting.

2:14:10 > 2:14:15No-one thought that swinging off the Cenotaph was acceptable.

2:14:15 > 2:14:18Swinging from a union flag was just one of Charlie Gilmour's

2:14:18 > 2:14:23ill-advised moments on a day that up to 40,000 students

2:14:23 > 2:14:25took to the streets of London.

2:14:28 > 2:14:29Oh, eh,

2:14:29 > 2:14:31toffs and their pranks, eh?

2:14:31 > 2:14:33There's nothing worse than rock stars' kids.

2:14:33 > 2:14:37Yes, they may flatter thee,

2:14:37 > 2:14:42but thou shalt feel a hollow agony!

2:14:42 > 2:14:44Gilmour's son comes out of the woodwork.

2:14:44 > 2:14:47"Ooh, there's a riot! I'm going to hang off of a statue,

2:14:47 > 2:14:49"get on everyone's tits," you know what I mean?

2:14:49 > 2:14:52Don't swing off memorials, especially for the war dead.

2:14:52 > 2:14:55It's not a good look and people are going to hate you, and rightly so.

2:14:57 > 2:15:01Gilmour also attacked Prince Charles's car

2:15:01 > 2:15:04and smashed the window of Topshop,

2:15:04 > 2:15:07but what seemed to annoy many about Charlie's part in the protest

2:15:07 > 2:15:09is the fact that money isn't an issue

2:15:09 > 2:15:11when you're the son of a rich rock star.

2:15:11 > 2:15:15I think some people are definitely going to be annoyed by the fact

2:15:15 > 2:15:19that Charlie Gilmour was protesting about the increase in student fees

2:15:19 > 2:15:23while at the same time he obviously had a multi-millionaire dad.

2:15:23 > 2:15:26The way that he protested almost felt like

2:15:26 > 2:15:29he was just doing it for the fun of it.

2:15:31 > 2:15:35The other annoying thing about Charlie's brush with the law

2:15:35 > 2:15:38was blaming his rampage on the LSD, valium and whisky he'd consumed

2:15:38 > 2:15:41during the hours before he ran amok.

2:15:41 > 2:15:43"I'm so sorry I did that, but in my defence,

2:15:43 > 2:15:45"I was taking illegal drugs."

2:15:45 > 2:15:48"Oh, fine. Well, off you go, then! No problem."

2:15:48 > 2:15:51He thinks he can get away with that. The arrogance!

2:15:51 > 2:15:55Thou hast sown a sorrow and must reap...

2:15:55 > 2:15:58Sorry, sorry, sorry.

2:15:58 > 2:16:02If you are going to protest, a little tip is don't take acid,

2:16:02 > 2:16:05because if you take acid, you can't even put your trousers on

2:16:05 > 2:16:08- the right way round. - The message is somewhat lost.

2:16:08 > 2:16:11So how are you going to inform the masses

2:16:11 > 2:16:14when you're tripping your nuts off?

2:16:14 > 2:16:18Grow up, go to university, get an education, stop taking acid.

2:16:18 > 2:16:21Just in, at number 19, it's the Bieber.

2:16:21 > 2:16:25FANS CHANT: Justin! Justin! Justin!

2:16:25 > 2:16:27THEY SCREAM WITH WILD ABANDON

2:16:30 > 2:16:33He may have got all grown up this year, got his hair cut

2:16:33 > 2:16:34and possibly even had sex.

2:16:35 > 2:16:40But it didn't stop Justin Bieber or his fans, the Beliebers,

2:16:40 > 2:16:42from being any less annoying.

2:16:42 > 2:16:45I think what's annoying about Bieber is just

2:16:45 > 2:16:49he's so young and so successful

2:16:49 > 2:16:52which, to most people who have worked their nuts off, is irritating.

2:16:52 > 2:16:55# I'm 12, can I have another mansion, please? #

2:16:55 > 2:16:56It IS quite annoying.

2:16:56 > 2:17:00# Baby, baby, baby, no. #

2:17:00 > 2:17:04Last year he was at the top of the album charts.

2:17:04 > 2:17:07This year, he's at the top of the richest teen list

2:17:07 > 2:17:09by raking in a reported 53 million.

2:17:13 > 2:17:16But in 2011, Brand Bieber was less about music

2:17:16 > 2:17:19and more about merchandise. Instead of a new album,

2:17:19 > 2:17:23Justin's first release of the year was his film Never Say Never.

2:17:23 > 2:17:25# I will never say never. #

2:17:25 > 2:17:28Never Say Never was in 3D,

2:17:28 > 2:17:30which was incredibly annoying

2:17:30 > 2:17:33because he's coming at you and you can almost strangle him.

2:17:33 > 2:17:34You can almost punch him in the face.

2:17:34 > 2:17:37And whilst new tracks continue to go missing,

2:17:37 > 2:17:40a little romance with fellow teen star Selena Gomez

2:17:40 > 2:17:42kept his fans in a frenzy.

2:17:44 > 2:17:46I can't imagine him having a girlfriend,

2:17:46 > 2:17:49doing anything other than sharing some Haribo.

2:17:49 > 2:17:52If I was a teenager, I'd be really upset

2:17:52 > 2:17:55and I would cry all the time that they're constantly kissing

2:17:55 > 2:17:58and they have to keep displaying love for each other

2:17:58 > 2:17:59everywhere they go.

2:17:59 > 2:18:02By August, there was still no new music,

2:18:02 > 2:18:05but he did produce a multitude of products.

2:18:05 > 2:18:07Including a fragrance for the ladies.

2:18:09 > 2:18:12Oh, my God. Is it for girls?

2:18:12 > 2:18:14Justin Bieber, aged 17,

2:18:14 > 2:18:16putting out perfume for girls.

2:18:16 > 2:18:20Meaning, "Justin Bieber knows what I want on my body."

2:18:20 > 2:18:23What does a 17-year-old boy know about perfume for women?

2:18:23 > 2:18:25I'd advise you not to use that, ladies.

2:18:25 > 2:18:29I hope he is at least taking some of his own sweat or some DNA

2:18:29 > 2:18:32so that we can actually buy something

2:18:32 > 2:18:36so ridiculous as Someday, guaranteed to stimulate and amuse.

2:18:36 > 2:18:38Unlike Justin Bieber's music.

2:18:38 > 2:18:40# I will never say never. #

2:18:40 > 2:18:42By November surely we'd get some new music,

2:18:42 > 2:18:45some killer pop track to mark his territory

2:18:45 > 2:18:47as the new Justin Timberlake,

2:18:47 > 2:18:51or would he just cash in some more with a Christmas album?

2:18:51 > 2:18:54# It's the most beautiful time of the year

2:18:54 > 2:18:58# Lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer. #

2:18:58 > 2:19:00If he carries on like this, one way or another

2:19:00 > 2:19:03Justin Bieber will be opening a supermarket near you.

2:19:03 > 2:19:06Only, don't be surprised if he owns it.

2:19:06 > 2:19:07We do that in Canada.

2:19:07 > 2:19:11Every couple of years, we churn out a new annoying personality,

2:19:11 > 2:19:12mostly through music.

2:19:15 > 2:19:17There's a rock 'n' roll explosion in Britain.

2:19:17 > 2:19:21Well, we've got to offset that with some Avril Lavigne.

2:19:21 > 2:19:24What's this? Folk music taking off? Give 'em Celine Dion.

2:19:24 > 2:19:26We pump 'em out every couple of years.

2:19:26 > 2:19:28Justin Bieber is our latest one.

2:19:28 > 2:19:32You're welcome, world! You are welcome.

2:19:32 > 2:19:37Cashing in at 18, we're keeping up with Kim Kardashian.

2:19:37 > 2:19:40# If I was a rich girl Na, na, na, na, na... #

2:19:40 > 2:19:43Reality TV royalty, the Kardashians are not shy

2:19:43 > 2:19:45when it comes to cashing in on their brand...

2:19:47 > 2:19:50..with endorsements galore coming out of their ears.

2:19:50 > 2:19:54The greed that oozes out of the Kardashian clan

2:19:54 > 2:19:57is the most annoying thing about them.

2:19:57 > 2:20:02How many hundreds of millions do you need before you say "I'm done"?

2:20:02 > 2:20:06Pushy mum Kris, the money-spinner behind daughters

2:20:06 > 2:20:08Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie,

2:20:08 > 2:20:12has unashamedly created a marketing monster out of her family.

2:20:12 > 2:20:16Kris Jenner, who is the mum in the family, has been able

2:20:16 > 2:20:20to market the Kardashian brand so extremely well,

2:20:20 > 2:20:22she is an absolute genius at that,

2:20:22 > 2:20:24and make a lot of money for that family.

2:20:24 > 2:20:29But this year, it's sister Kim who cashed in the biggest prize.

2:20:29 > 2:20:30She has to sell.

2:20:30 > 2:20:34She doesn't have a talent. She can't sing, she can't dance,

2:20:34 > 2:20:36she's too chubby to be a model. She has to sell.

2:20:36 > 2:20:40I don't really know who she is. I see her plenty.

2:20:40 > 2:20:44She's this wee girl, kind of cute, big bottom.

2:20:44 > 2:20:47What's she done? What's she famous for? I don't get it.

2:20:47 > 2:20:52# Everybody's got a price I wonder how they sleep at night. #

2:20:52 > 2:20:53August 2011 saw Kim get hitched

2:20:53 > 2:20:56to basketball man-mountain Kris Humphries

2:20:56 > 2:20:58in a multi-million dollar TV wedding,

2:20:58 > 2:21:01and after selling the rights to the highest bidders,

2:21:01 > 2:21:04it didn't cost the happy couple a dime.

2:21:04 > 2:21:08Kim Kardashian seemed to take the freebie wedding

2:21:08 > 2:21:10to a whole new level.

2:21:10 > 2:21:14When you have almost created a wedding for television,

2:21:14 > 2:21:19you do have to wonder how genuine the relationship actually is.

2:21:19 > 2:21:21# It's not about the money, money, money. #

2:21:21 > 2:21:26Most people break the bank, you know, to pay for a wedding here,

2:21:26 > 2:21:29and she made, what, 14 million, 16 million?

2:21:29 > 2:21:33Any time you make money from your own wedding,

2:21:33 > 2:21:36it kind of takes away from the romance.

2:21:36 > 2:21:40It just doesn't lead me to believe that this is going to work out.

2:21:40 > 2:21:44And just 72 days later, it was all over...

2:21:46 > 2:21:50..having made a reported 18 million from magazine deals,

2:21:50 > 2:21:54TV coverage and endorsements. That's a cool 250,000 a day!

2:21:54 > 2:21:56Nice work if you can get it, Kim.

2:21:56 > 2:21:5972 days she held it together for. Then it all fell apart.

2:21:59 > 2:22:02Making a mockery of a great institution, the marriage.

2:22:02 > 2:22:05People talk about showmances, about celebrity weddings,

2:22:05 > 2:22:08lacking integrity. We all knew it was going

2:22:08 > 2:22:09to end up in court one day,

2:22:09 > 2:22:12whether the basketball court or a court of law.

2:22:12 > 2:22:15It's turned out to be the latter. Kim Kardashian does it again.

2:22:15 > 2:22:19It's not just weddings that celebs have been trying to flog us this year.

2:22:22 > 2:22:25This is our countdown of those stars desperate to get their hands

2:22:25 > 2:22:29on our hard earned by cashing in on their 15 minutes of fame.

2:22:31 > 2:22:37Number three - how about modelling your look on Robbie Williams' granddad?

2:22:37 > 2:22:38HE MAKES MONKEY NOISES

2:22:38 > 2:22:43# I hope I'm old... #

2:22:43 > 2:22:46Robbie Williams is really embracing getting older.

2:22:46 > 2:22:48It doesn't surprise me he's brought out a range of granddad coats

2:22:48 > 2:22:52he thinks is quite cool, but, actually, if you weren't Robbie Williams wearing it,

2:22:52 > 2:22:55you do just look like a bit of a granddad.

2:22:55 > 2:22:59Next on nobody's Christmas list, the range of merchandise

2:22:59 > 2:23:02available from the boys and girls from The Only Way Is Essex.

2:23:02 > 2:23:05The idea of anybody wanting to look like that

2:23:05 > 2:23:07is just quite absurd, isn't it?

2:23:07 > 2:23:09That whole kind of really thick fake tan,

2:23:09 > 2:23:14the huge amount of make-up, big, spidery eyelashes,

2:23:14 > 2:23:18and hair that's got more extensions in than I've ever seen before,

2:23:18 > 2:23:20and yet people are buying into this

2:23:20 > 2:23:22and the vajazzling kits that they want to sell.

2:23:22 > 2:23:25I've seen them everywhere. Who does this stuff, who buys it?

2:23:26 > 2:23:30It's been a while since they topped any charts, but our number one

2:23:30 > 2:23:33annoying celebrity product for 2011 is AC/DC's wine.

2:23:36 > 2:23:40Of all the drinks you would associate with AC/DC -

2:23:40 > 2:23:42not the wine, not a merlot.

2:23:42 > 2:23:46Can't imagine Angus going crazy in the head-banging days thinking,

2:23:46 > 2:23:51"Oh, what a gig we've had, let's go out and get a gentle rioja".

2:23:54 > 2:23:58Next on our list, it's everyone's favourite annoying popstar.

2:24:02 > 2:24:042011 was business as usual for Lady Gaga.

2:24:04 > 2:24:08It's the third year running that she's annoyed us.

2:24:08 > 2:24:10Maybe it's time to get some new ideas.

2:24:10 > 2:24:12Hello, everybody.

2:24:12 > 2:24:16Lady Gaga just needs to go away. It's boring now. We get it.

2:24:16 > 2:24:20I think the thing with Lady Gaga is it's kind of overkill.

2:24:20 > 2:24:23You're trying too hard, it's not nice.

2:24:23 > 2:24:26Another vintage year for the first lady of annoying behaviour

2:24:26 > 2:24:28began back in January.

2:24:28 > 2:24:31Her Grammy outfit in 2010 was the infamous meat dress.

2:24:31 > 2:24:34This year, she arrived being carried in a giant egg.

2:24:34 > 2:24:37She claimed to have been in the egg for three hours

2:24:37 > 2:24:40getting herself in character, ready for the show,

2:24:40 > 2:24:42which kind of sounds a bit ridiculous.

2:24:42 > 2:24:45What character was she trying to get into, a chick?

2:24:45 > 2:24:50# This time I'm not leaving without you... #

2:24:50 > 2:24:54But the Grammys weren't the only awards this year where Gaga had us gagging.

2:24:54 > 2:24:58Most annoying for me this year with Lady Gaga was when she turned up

2:24:58 > 2:25:02to the MTV Awards as her male alter ego, I think it was Jo Calderone.

2:25:04 > 2:25:07She looked like Shane MacGowan from The Pogues on acid

2:25:07 > 2:25:10and that she needed a really good wash.

2:25:10 > 2:25:13So poor Britney Spears must have been terrified

2:25:13 > 2:25:15when Gaga tried to snog her.

2:25:15 > 2:25:18You're like, "Gaga, that's already been done.

2:25:18 > 2:25:23"Madonna, the person you copy every day, has already snogged Britney."

2:25:23 > 2:25:26# My momma told me when I was young... #

2:25:26 > 2:25:30Snogging Britney wasn't the only time Gaga was accused

2:25:30 > 2:25:33of taking her love of Madonna a bit too far this year.

2:25:33 > 2:25:38Her single Born This Way also sounded a touch familiar.

2:25:38 > 2:25:39It was a cover of Express Yourself!

2:25:39 > 2:25:43I'm amazed Madonna's lawyers haven't been on the phone

2:25:43 > 2:25:45and suing the arse off her.

2:25:47 > 2:25:51The Born This Way/Express Yourself phenomenon, where you play

2:25:51 > 2:25:55both of the songs at the same time and sounds exactly like it...

2:25:55 > 2:25:58# I'm beautiful in my way Cos God makes no mistakes

2:25:58 > 2:26:02# I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way... #

2:26:02 > 2:26:07# Don't go for second best, baby, put your love... #

2:26:07 > 2:26:09It's true, it's all true.

2:26:09 > 2:26:11- But is it an homage?- No.

2:26:11 > 2:26:13- Is it inspiration?- No.

2:26:13 > 2:26:16Or is it like when I go to the mall and steal something?

2:26:16 > 2:26:21That's like when you go to the mall and steal something.

2:26:21 > 2:26:23When Gaga was asked about the controversy,

2:26:23 > 2:26:27she said she wouldn't be moronic enough to rip off another artist,

2:26:27 > 2:26:29but it wasn't just the music that annoyed.

2:26:29 > 2:26:34The song's message of tolerance also grated for some of Gaga's fiercest fans.

2:26:34 > 2:26:36She was expecting it to turn into this really gay anthem and,

2:26:36 > 2:26:40unfortunately, they saw it as very much pandering to them

2:26:40 > 2:26:45and they felt it was maybe a little bit desperate on her part.

2:26:45 > 2:26:47Lady Gaga releases this album for the gays

2:26:47 > 2:26:50and then we say she's pandering - like, how can you please us?

2:26:50 > 2:26:51Well, Madonna knows how.

2:26:51 > 2:26:52And speaking of Madonna,

2:26:52 > 2:26:55what does she make of Gaga's apparent obsession with her?

2:26:55 > 2:27:00Well, they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

2:27:00 > 2:27:04Madonna, privately, I'm told, refers to her as Lady Gag.

2:27:04 > 2:27:07She feels that Gaga is almost strategically ripping her off

2:27:07 > 2:27:09and recently Madonna said it -

2:27:09 > 2:27:13"You know, I haven't figured out if it's a compliment or not,"

2:27:13 > 2:27:16which, in Hollywood speak, is, "I can't stand the bitch".

2:27:16 > 2:27:19Up next, the Bourne Ultimatum.

2:27:22 > 2:27:24When bride-to-be Heidi Withers

2:27:24 > 2:27:30set off for a peaceful weekend away in Devon with her prospective parents-in-law,

2:27:30 > 2:27:33little did she know what she was letting herself in for.

2:27:34 > 2:27:38Gardening guru Carolyn Bourne, step-mum of fiance Freddie,

2:27:38 > 2:27:42objected so strongly to the way she felt Heidi had behaved on the visit

2:27:42 > 2:27:45that she sent her an email attacking her manners.

2:27:46 > 2:27:49It seems the email Mrs Bourne sent from here

2:27:49 > 2:27:53to her daughter-in-law-to-be was meant to be private.

2:27:53 > 2:27:56But somehow it was forwarded on to other people,

2:27:56 > 2:28:00who then sent it on to more people, and then it went viral.

2:28:03 > 2:28:05When I read it I was so shocked

2:28:05 > 2:28:08at how somebody can be that blunt.

2:28:08 > 2:28:11If my mum ever wrote my boyfriend like that,

2:28:11 > 2:28:13I would cold slap that bitch.

2:28:13 > 2:28:15She sounds like Mrs Bucket on steroids,

2:28:15 > 2:28:18that's what I gleaned from that email.

2:28:20 > 2:28:24By her failure to keep up required appearances,

2:28:24 > 2:28:27newspapers readers around the world learned that Carolyn

2:28:27 > 2:28:31considered Heidi an ideal candidate for Ladette to Lady

2:28:31 > 2:28:34and suggested that she found herself a good finishing school.

2:28:34 > 2:28:37- ARCHIVE:- Finishing school gives you that touch of savoir faire.

2:28:37 > 2:28:40Down...and up.

2:28:40 > 2:28:45So what was it that got the haughty horticulturalist so upset?

2:28:53 > 2:28:56Apparently she ate her dinner before everyone else.

2:28:56 > 2:28:59I mean, I do - you know, I mean, sometimes I don't even say grace.

2:28:59 > 2:29:04The gardening gloves were off as her mumzilla's manners guide continued.

2:29:14 > 2:29:19We get up at 3am. Now see you in the morning.

2:29:20 > 2:29:24This demon of decorum had more advice.

2:29:30 > 2:29:32I think you should lead by example,

2:29:32 > 2:29:33you know,

2:29:33 > 2:29:36she could have handwritten her email, couldn't she?

2:29:36 > 2:29:39And sent it in a little notelet card with a picture of some ducks

2:29:39 > 2:29:43on the front or something and it would have been rather lovely.

2:29:43 > 2:29:46Carolyn really couldn't contain herself, though,

2:29:46 > 2:29:49when it came to Freddie and Heidi's plans

2:29:49 > 2:29:52to hold their reception at Berkeley Castle in Gloucestershire.

2:29:58 > 2:30:02You can imagine her sitting there with her handbag going, "Mmm".

2:30:02 > 2:30:05In fact, as she's writing this, I like to imagine that she's dressed

2:30:05 > 2:30:08like Maggie Smith from Downton Abbey with the same sour look on her face.

2:30:08 > 2:30:12- # ..Is for a little respect - Just a little bit... #

2:30:12 > 2:30:15It's quite nice to know that your family are not the only family

2:30:15 > 2:30:17that are absolutely mental.

2:30:17 > 2:30:20It's nice for people to look on and be like, "Oh, yeah, OK,

2:30:20 > 2:30:22"my boyfriend's mum's a bit of a cow,

2:30:22 > 2:30:25"but at least she didn't send this email to me."

2:30:25 > 2:30:30I think her best punishment is I wish Heidi and Freddie a long and happy marriage.

2:30:30 > 2:30:35Unsurprisingly, Carolyn and her husband were not seen at the wedding this November.

2:30:35 > 2:30:37But, then again, nor was Heidi.

2:30:39 > 2:30:44Up next, not one, but two annoying things in 2011.

2:30:44 > 2:30:47Kate Moss began the year by setting the catwalk alight

2:30:47 > 2:30:49with a smoking appearance.

2:30:52 > 2:30:57There is no question that smoking is vulgar, particularly on a catwalk.

2:30:57 > 2:30:59Unfortunately, I'm not sure how long Kate can go

2:30:59 > 2:31:01between one cigarette and the next.

2:31:03 > 2:31:06Here she is, for whatever reason, an icon of our times.

2:31:06 > 2:31:08She absolutely knows that.

2:31:08 > 2:31:13Why she felt the need to force that on to the catwalk

2:31:13 > 2:31:16when she knew the way that that would appear to teenagers as,

2:31:16 > 2:31:18"Well, it's cool, cos Kate Moss does it,"

2:31:18 > 2:31:22and I know that's a really boring and old argument,

2:31:22 > 2:31:24but, the fact of the matter is, it is true.

2:31:26 > 2:31:29But smoking wasn't the only annoying thing that Kate did this year.

2:31:29 > 2:31:32In July she married hubby Jamie Hince with a guest list

2:31:32 > 2:31:36of A-list movers and shakers intent on causing chaos in the Cotswolds.

2:31:38 > 2:31:42It was a very eclectic group, including two celebrity racists -

2:31:42 > 2:31:44Brown and Galliano were there.

2:31:44 > 2:31:47If you're going to invite Galliano and James Brown to your wedding,

2:31:47 > 2:31:50you probably should cross off Samuel L Jackson,

2:31:50 > 2:31:51and Woody Allen as well.

2:31:51 > 2:31:54I think the priest would have probably been trying to get

2:31:54 > 2:31:58through the ceremony as quick as possible.

2:31:58 > 2:32:00"I now pronounce you man and wife, off you go".

2:32:00 > 2:32:04The residents of Little Faringdon were absolutely furious

2:32:04 > 2:32:07with Kate Moss for basically shutting down the village

2:32:07 > 2:32:10so she could stage her own mini festival.

2:32:10 > 2:32:12Three days for a wedding.

2:32:12 > 2:32:15Most weddings I know you get to the evening, a couple of drinks,

2:32:15 > 2:32:17a fight, then we go home.

2:32:17 > 2:32:18Three days!

2:32:22 > 2:32:26She made it completely clear that this was a private event.

2:32:26 > 2:32:30However, she expected all the residents nearby to put up

2:32:30 > 2:32:34with receiving absolutely no access to their village.

2:32:34 > 2:32:37How they meant to get to the local pub?

2:32:37 > 2:32:40How's the mobile library meant to go around while she's there lording it up?

2:32:40 > 2:32:43The police spent thousands and thousands of pounds

2:32:43 > 2:32:46and it was completely and utterly unacceptable.

2:32:46 > 2:32:49Kate Moss is used to having police visit her. This time they were on her side.

2:32:53 > 2:32:56Well, through the village there's been lots of vehicles,

2:32:56 > 2:32:59blacked out windows, containing, well...

2:32:59 > 2:33:01- CHEERING - ..we know not who.

2:33:01 > 2:33:07Shutting down a whole village does not make you the lady of the manor.

2:33:09 > 2:33:11Maybe she was doing it to be different.

2:33:11 > 2:33:14Maybe she was doing it to be a little shocking,

2:33:14 > 2:33:16but it was so annoying.

2:33:20 > 2:33:23Now for a fallen fashionista.

2:33:25 > 2:33:27Eccentric enfant terrible John Galliano

2:33:27 > 2:33:30has been causing waves on the catwalk for years.

2:33:30 > 2:33:35# Fashion, turn to the left Fashion, turn to the right... #

2:33:35 > 2:33:39But 2011 saw the oddball outfitter go completely off the rails,

2:33:39 > 2:33:42as admiration turned to outrage.

2:33:42 > 2:33:45On Thursday evening, John Galliano was arrested at this bar

2:33:45 > 2:33:47for the suspected verbal abuse of a female customer.

2:33:47 > 2:33:50He vehemently denies the use of anti-Semitic language.

2:33:51 > 2:33:56No, but I love Hitler and people like you would be dead today.

2:33:56 > 2:33:58WOMAN LAUGHS

2:33:58 > 2:34:02- Your mothers... Your forefathers would be- BLEEP- dead.

2:34:02 > 2:34:04WOMAN: Oh, my God!

2:34:04 > 2:34:06But when it emerged that Galliano

2:34:06 > 2:34:10had been responsible for two more racist rants at the same bar,

2:34:10 > 2:34:14employers Christian Dior sacked the disgraced designer.

2:34:14 > 2:34:17John Galliano was really the go-to guy in fashion.

2:34:17 > 2:34:20This is a man who had people like Kate Moss, Natalie Portman,

2:34:20 > 2:34:23Madonna on his speed dial.

2:34:23 > 2:34:27You couldn't think of a name in fashion any more prestigious

2:34:27 > 2:34:28or famous than he.

2:34:30 > 2:34:34People in the fashion industry are always a bit odd and a bit

2:34:34 > 2:34:41quirky but quirkiness does not make racist outbursts acceptable.

2:34:42 > 2:34:48Here's a man who is part of a group of people who have been

2:34:48 > 2:34:52stereotyped in the past - he's a gay man and proud of it -

2:34:52 > 2:34:57but it makes it even more unpalatable that he's pointing at a minority

2:34:57 > 2:34:59and showing how racist he was.

2:34:59 > 2:35:03I'd love for John to go back in time to Hitler where Hitler was

2:35:03 > 2:35:05throwing all these parties for gay people

2:35:05 > 2:35:08and showing how much he appreciated them.

2:35:08 > 2:35:10Oh, no, he wasn't, he was putting them in ovens as well.

2:35:10 > 2:35:13It's more just very sad

2:35:13 > 2:35:16cos the thing is, he is genuinely a huge talent.

2:35:16 > 2:35:19But you can be the most brilliant, the coolest person in fashion,

2:35:19 > 2:35:23but that kind of behaviour has to be held accountable.

2:35:23 > 2:35:27Galliano faced trial in a Paris court with his defence team

2:35:27 > 2:35:31denying he was racist and blaming his outbursts on alcohol

2:35:31 > 2:35:33and prescription drugs.

2:35:33 > 2:35:37# Now the drugs don't work They just make you worse... #

2:35:37 > 2:35:40"I'm having trouble sleeping cos I'm working in Australia, doctor."

2:35:40 > 2:35:43"I recommend Zopiclone sleeping tablets." "Any side effects?"

2:35:43 > 2:35:47"Yes, you will shout, "Jew, Jew, dirty Jew," every time you wake up."

2:35:47 > 2:35:49"I might just stick to the Nytol."

2:35:49 > 2:35:51The court found him guilty,

2:35:51 > 2:35:54but his friends continued to offer a shoulder pad to cry on

2:35:54 > 2:35:57and carried on wearing his creations regardless.

2:35:59 > 2:36:04People like Kate Moss stood behind him despite what happened.

2:36:04 > 2:36:07He did lose his job, but I don't quite know

2:36:07 > 2:36:10if he lost the entire respect of the fashion industry,

2:36:10 > 2:36:13and I think that was something that annoyed me.

2:36:13 > 2:36:18Some felt the frocking leniency of his sentence didn't give Galliano the dressing down he deserved

2:36:18 > 2:36:21so what's next for the disgraced designer?

2:36:21 > 2:36:27They should have made him work in Primark, just designing Primark's new fashion range

2:36:27 > 2:36:32with a budget of £10 and that's the entire range, John, entire range right there.

2:36:32 > 2:36:34# Are you a fashion victim?

2:36:34 > 2:36:35# I guess you are. #

2:36:39 > 2:36:41Causing yet another scene at 13 is a celebrity racking up

2:36:41 > 2:36:45a fifth appearance on the most annoying list.

2:36:45 > 2:36:48# Baby, you're a firework... #

2:36:48 > 2:36:51Hold on to your valuables - it's Lindsay Lohan!

2:36:52 > 2:36:55Lindsay's attention-seeking antics have been virtually unstoppable

2:36:55 > 2:36:59this year, and back in February she added something new

2:36:59 > 2:37:01to her long list of bad girl behaviour...

2:37:01 > 2:37:02jewellery thief!

2:37:02 > 2:37:05This is someone who could potentially make millions

2:37:05 > 2:37:09and millions and millions of pounds if she wanted to,

2:37:09 > 2:37:14and the fact that she just wants to nick things is just appalling.

2:37:14 > 2:37:17- When regular people take things, it's called stealing.- Yes.

2:37:17 > 2:37:20When a celebrity steals something, it's called loaning and borrowing.

2:37:20 > 2:37:22Or gifting!

2:37:22 > 2:37:24It's tough in Hollywood. People don't get this.

2:37:24 > 2:37:27They don't realise how hard film stars have it and you know what?

2:37:27 > 2:37:30Sometimes you just need a little bit of extra jewellery,

2:37:30 > 2:37:33and if people aren't just going to give it to you,

2:37:33 > 2:37:35what are you supposed to do? Pay for it yourself?!

2:37:35 > 2:37:38Charged with theft and probation violations,

2:37:38 > 2:37:41the judge sentenced her to 120 days' house arrest,

2:37:41 > 2:37:44but rapper Pitbull sentenced her to life

2:37:44 > 2:37:46in his international hit song Give Me Everything.

2:37:46 > 2:37:49RAPS: And I got her locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

2:37:49 > 2:37:52This girl's actually suing the rapper Pitbull

2:37:52 > 2:37:55because he mentions her in his music video.

2:37:55 > 2:37:58HE RAPS: And I got her locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

2:37:58 > 2:38:03Well, she WAS locked up. It's a fact - rappers can rap about whatever they want,

2:38:03 > 2:38:08but they can particularly rap about something that actually happened.

2:38:09 > 2:38:13I think the girl should be so lucky to have any mention at all

2:38:13 > 2:38:14in the world right now.

2:38:14 > 2:38:17What is she doing for society besides serving as an example

2:38:17 > 2:38:19of what not to be when you grow up?

2:38:20 > 2:38:24Reformed after having to serve just 35 days on the sofa,

2:38:24 > 2:38:27Lindsay obviously said no to pricy haircuts but yes

2:38:27 > 2:38:30to spending 80,000 on a new Porsche.

2:38:33 > 2:38:36At the same time, LiLo was being chased for a hefty unpaid

2:38:36 > 2:38:39limousine bill of 100,000.

2:38:39 > 2:38:42I think she doesn't pay it because she's addicted to drama

2:38:42 > 2:38:45and so she wants the limousine guy banging down her door

2:38:45 > 2:38:48so that that's another video that can be uploaded to TMZ.

2:38:48 > 2:38:52If you can't afford a limousine, then do not rack up

2:38:52 > 2:38:56a bill for a limousine. It's pretty simple, Lindsay.

2:38:58 > 2:39:02Struggling with her life and her make-up, Lohan was back in court

2:39:02 > 2:39:05in November for yet again failing to complete her community service,

2:39:05 > 2:39:09and was rather appropriately sentenced to working in the local morgue.

2:39:09 > 2:39:12I think the most annoying thing about Lindsay is

2:39:12 > 2:39:16no matter how many chances she's had to succeed, she blows it.

2:39:16 > 2:39:19- JUDGE: Miss Lohan?- I'm sorry.

2:39:19 > 2:39:23Given the opportunities she's had, the money she's had,

2:39:23 > 2:39:25the people around her who've tried to help her,

2:39:25 > 2:39:30not even one time has she taken responsibility for what she's done.

2:39:30 > 2:39:33I find her probably the most annoying person in the world.

2:39:33 > 2:39:37After a recent 1 million payday for a full-frontal Playboy shoot,

2:39:37 > 2:39:38where next for Lindsay?

2:39:38 > 2:39:40They must be pushing for a reality show.

2:39:40 > 2:39:44That's actually the one reality show I'd be like, yes, that deserves to be made.

2:39:44 > 2:39:46I mean, we should be following her around.

2:39:46 > 2:39:51Even if just as for an example to kids for how not to live their lives.

2:39:51 > 2:39:53# It's a hard-knock life. #

2:39:55 > 2:39:58Slipping down the list and slipping up this year,

2:39:58 > 2:40:01Katie Price has had an even more annoying 2011,

2:40:01 > 2:40:04but the problem is she just won't go away.

2:40:04 > 2:40:07She's an animal, that one, she really is.

2:40:09 > 2:40:12The poor guy, she's just like this big python waiting

2:40:12 > 2:40:15to, like, get him and digest him.

2:40:15 > 2:40:17Oh, I haven't got a particular type.

2:40:17 > 2:40:18Poor Peter Andre.

2:40:18 > 2:40:20You know, I'm in no rush to get married.

2:40:20 > 2:40:21Poor Alex.

2:40:21 > 2:40:23Why do I want to talk about exes?

2:40:23 > 2:40:26She dumps her latest, Leandro,

2:40:26 > 2:40:30by translator, who says to him, "You're not giving her enough sex".

2:40:30 > 2:40:33That's not a nice person.

2:40:33 > 2:40:35She'll get halfway through something and go,

2:40:35 > 2:40:37"Oh, that's not working," and walk away.

2:40:37 > 2:40:41That's fine if it's a book or a TV show. When it's a person...

2:40:41 > 2:40:42Ohhhh.

2:40:42 > 2:40:44And what gets me the most -

2:40:44 > 2:40:47she hits them where it hurts and blasts them

2:40:47 > 2:40:49all over the media

2:40:49 > 2:40:52saying that they couldn't keep up with her in bed.

2:40:52 > 2:40:55A dog with two dicks couldn't keep up with you in bed, pet.

2:40:55 > 2:40:58Ever since her split from Peter Andre,

2:40:58 > 2:41:01Katie may have lost the support of the general public,

2:41:01 > 2:41:04but continues to make millions from her ample assets.

2:41:04 > 2:41:08And, touch wood, everything I do does work.

2:41:10 > 2:41:15So what does a girl who's already bared it all do for a bit more exposure?

2:41:15 > 2:41:19Launch her own magazine of course, about her favourite subject.

2:41:19 > 2:41:20Herself.

2:41:20 > 2:41:23# You're so vain... #

2:41:23 > 2:41:27Such a girly-girly magazine, it's all fun, uplifting.

2:41:27 > 2:41:30I was just so pleased with it, they've done such a good job as well.

2:41:30 > 2:41:33Katie Price has got a magazine. Doesn't mean anyone will read it.

2:41:33 > 2:41:36It's got, like, problem pages,

2:41:36 > 2:41:38it's got my views on people on the red carpet.

2:41:38 > 2:41:41Not about the individual person, just about their outfit.

2:41:41 > 2:41:44My favourite nail varnishes, my tattoos,

2:41:44 > 2:41:47just bits that people don't know about me.

2:41:47 > 2:41:50When Katie Price announced she was bringing out her own magazine,

2:41:50 > 2:41:52it was a very dark day at Glamour Magazine,

2:41:52 > 2:41:54we were quaking in our boots.

2:41:54 > 2:41:57It's got cooking tips, and how to make what I make.

2:41:57 > 2:42:00I don't care how Katie Price boils her frozen peas or makes them,

2:42:00 > 2:42:06but the walking hypocrisy is that she has made millions

2:42:06 > 2:42:10from magazines like OK!, Hello!, posing, telling them everything

2:42:10 > 2:42:15and then she even shafts them by bringing out her own magazine.

2:42:15 > 2:42:19It's like she can't have a lasting relationship with anyone.

2:42:21 > 2:42:24So, having given us her all in her books, her magazines

2:42:24 > 2:42:30and her boyfriends, finally, Katie Price has gone in search of herself.

2:42:30 > 2:42:34Well, actually, someone she can turn INTO herself in her new TV

2:42:34 > 2:42:37quest to find the next Katie Price.

2:42:37 > 2:42:38They came, they queued

2:42:38 > 2:42:42and stay tuned for the new cut price Katie Price!

2:42:44 > 2:42:47Well, Jordan might be single right now...

2:42:47 > 2:42:52but there were still plenty of gruesome twosomes getting on our wicks this year.

2:42:52 > 2:42:56This is our top three chart of 2011's most annoying celebrity couples.

2:42:59 > 2:43:01At number three, Heidi Klum and Seal,

2:43:01 > 2:43:05the cringe-inducing A-list couple who have renewed their wedding vows

2:43:05 > 2:43:08every year since getting married in 2005.

2:43:08 > 2:43:11It's not even fake, they genuinely are just really happy.

2:43:11 > 2:43:13You just get jealous, don't you?

2:43:13 > 2:43:16From the beginning when I met him, I knew he had something.

2:43:16 > 2:43:18We like people to sort of say it's been really hard

2:43:18 > 2:43:22and I don't fancy my husband any more because it makes us feel better

2:43:22 > 2:43:24about the fact that we argue all the time.

2:43:24 > 2:43:26A less happy couple at number two,

2:43:26 > 2:43:29where the only way is Splitsville for TOWIE's Mark and Lauren.

2:43:31 > 2:43:33- Not going to take him back this time? - No, I will not.

2:43:33 > 2:43:38It was quite annoying to be able to watch the breakdown of that relationship on Twitter, live,

2:43:38 > 2:43:41but you felt like you were part of it.

2:43:41 > 2:43:44I don't care, you know. Thanks for talking about me, basically.

2:43:46 > 2:43:49And taking the top spot are the couple that have hogged headlines all year.

2:43:49 > 2:43:51It's Alex and Chantelle.

2:43:51 > 2:43:54But is there a relationship more showmance than romance?

2:43:55 > 2:43:57Out of all the celebrities in 2011,

2:43:57 > 2:44:00those who stood out head and shoulders above the rest

2:44:00 > 2:44:04is the greatest pair of tits, Alex Reid and Chantelle Houghton.

2:44:04 > 2:44:08It is literally two people who are famous for trying to be famous

2:44:08 > 2:44:13trying to get famous again, by being in a relationship together.

2:44:14 > 2:44:17If we had any doubts over their love being genuine,

2:44:17 > 2:44:20Alex's wedding proposal in October might have made us think again.

2:44:20 > 2:44:22But before the happy couple can tie the knot,

2:44:22 > 2:44:24there's just one small problem.

2:44:24 > 2:44:29Lest we forget, Alex Reid is still technically married to Katie Price.

2:44:29 > 2:44:33I mean, he says it's only a piece of paper, in my heart I'm not married.

2:44:33 > 2:44:35Yeah, but the law says you are.

2:44:40 > 2:44:44Next up, it's Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer.

2:44:44 > 2:44:46BOTH: Yo, yo, yo, what's up?

2:44:46 > 2:44:50- I'm John.- I'm Edward. BOTH: And together we are Jedward!

2:44:50 > 2:44:53Yo, VIP. Let's kick it!

2:44:53 > 2:44:54# Pressure! #

2:44:54 > 2:44:58The very existence of Jedward is annoying.

2:44:58 > 2:45:02They've got half a brain each and neither of those halves is working.

2:45:02 > 2:45:06The thing we love about hotel rooms is no matter how dirty you make it,

2:45:06 > 2:45:08you don't have to clean it up as you get the hotel cleaners

2:45:08 > 2:45:12- to come in and clean your room. - And they are like, "Waa-a-ah!".

2:45:12 > 2:45:16They're so pale, they're like veal cutlets that haven't been out into the sun.

2:45:16 > 2:45:18First of all, we should apologise to music lovers everywhere.

2:45:18 > 2:45:22When we met Jedward last year, we planted a dangerous thought

2:45:22 > 2:45:24in their otherwise empty heads.

2:45:30 > 2:45:32Fortunately, the UK had other plans,

2:45:32 > 2:45:36but Ireland, for what happened next, we are truly sorry.

2:45:36 > 2:45:37We are Jedward!

2:45:37 > 2:45:42And we're twins, OK, and we're so excited about making the final.

2:45:46 > 2:45:48It nearly caused me to have a seizure.

2:45:48 > 2:45:51They were moving around so fast mumbling these strange words.

2:45:51 > 2:45:53It was like they were having a fit themselves.

2:45:53 > 2:45:56They were the most annoying thing on the entire Eurovision,

2:45:56 > 2:45:59which is saying a hell of a lot.

2:46:01 > 2:46:04The boys finished in a fairly respectable eighth place

2:46:04 > 2:46:08but their annoying year was only just getting started.

2:46:08 > 2:46:12BOTH: Aaaagh!

2:46:12 > 2:46:15Party!

2:46:15 > 2:46:17# My bad behaviour My bad behaviour

2:46:17 > 2:46:20# Told you I was trouble with my bad behaviour... #

2:46:20 > 2:46:24Jedward's next move in 2011 was an impressive display

2:46:24 > 2:46:27of just how irritating they really can be.

2:46:27 > 2:46:30# Now tell me if I'm bad... #

2:46:30 > 2:46:34Placed in a Big Brother house crammed full of annoying celebrities,

2:46:34 > 2:46:37they had no problem putting their rivals in the shade.

2:46:37 > 2:46:39They were incredibly annoying.

2:46:39 > 2:46:41It was like two six-year-old children.

2:46:41 > 2:46:42In fact, two-year-olds at times.

2:46:42 > 2:46:47I think I was pretty close to putting both their heads down the toilet at one stage.

2:46:47 > 2:46:51One thing you didn't see is me having them pinned up against a wall

2:46:51 > 2:46:54in a strangulation attempt, which was very fun, I might add.

2:46:54 > 2:46:57It wasn't life-threatening, but, boy, it could just have been...

2:46:57 > 2:46:59# My bad behaviour... #

2:46:59 > 2:47:02They were extremely irritating in Big Brother, yet finished third.

2:47:02 > 2:47:06Could it be that the really annoying thing about Jedward this year

2:47:06 > 2:47:09is that secretly we're all becoming Jedheads?

2:47:09 > 2:47:11He's wearing his clothes because he's on TV

2:47:11 > 2:47:15and he doesn't want to, like, show off his muscles.

2:47:15 > 2:47:18I think secretly inside I'm a bit of a Jedward fan.

2:47:18 > 2:47:21I...um...I like how tight their trousers are.

2:47:24 > 2:47:25This is the look.

2:47:25 > 2:47:28I want to be honest tonight

2:47:28 > 2:47:32and make it public that I am the third Jedward.

2:47:32 > 2:47:34They are the only decent thing

2:47:34 > 2:47:37Louis Walsh has ever done and I think they're brilliant.

2:47:37 > 2:47:39Absolutely brilliant. Team Jedward.

2:47:39 > 2:47:42- Jed to the E to the D to the ward. - BOTH: Planet Jedward!

2:47:42 > 2:47:44Their hits might have dried up,

2:47:44 > 2:47:48but their 15 minutes of fame shows no sign of ending.

2:47:48 > 2:47:51Rather annoyingly, it seems as though we're stuck with them.

2:47:51 > 2:47:55Jedward are not going to change. They're never going to grow up. It is their brand.

2:47:55 > 2:47:57Yes, they're annoying to some people,

2:47:57 > 2:48:02but, my God, without people like that, we'd have a pretty boring world, wouldn't we?

2:48:02 > 2:48:04If the world now got hit by a nuclear bomb,

2:48:04 > 2:48:07there'd be two things that existed - cockroaches and Jedward.

2:48:07 > 2:48:10And Jedward would outlive the cockroaches.

2:48:13 > 2:48:18At ten, MTV's shock reality show from Newcastle.

2:48:18 > 2:48:22Serving a bevy of booze, birds and bonking, it's Geordie Shore.

2:48:22 > 2:48:25After The Only Way is Essex, I thought, "Where do we go next?"

2:48:25 > 2:48:28Newcastle. Let's find some metrosexual guys

2:48:28 > 2:48:31and girls with their boobs hanging out. Should be easy enough.

2:48:33 > 2:48:37The Geordie Shore cast exist on booze and sex, one-night stands...

2:48:37 > 2:48:40We're going to get four birds round, wine and dine them,

2:48:40 > 2:48:42make them feel good and bang 'em.

2:48:42 > 2:48:44I love the fact there was no tact or subtlety to it.

2:48:44 > 2:48:47On the first night, there was already sex and a fight.

2:48:47 > 2:48:49I think that's the sign of any good night out.

2:48:49 > 2:48:54# Oh, watching people get lairy... #

2:48:54 > 2:48:56I don't think they have any limits.

2:48:56 > 2:48:58I think they're vile, they're disgusting.

2:48:58 > 2:49:00This is too much.

2:49:00 > 2:49:02I just want to go out, get them pissed, and bang them.

2:49:02 > 2:49:06They say things that you would never say. They do things you would never do.

2:49:06 > 2:49:08And it's vulgar.

2:49:08 > 2:49:11And I love that. I sit there and I'm addicted.

2:49:11 > 2:49:14I can sit and watch that programme back-to-back-to-back...

2:49:16 > 2:49:17I'll need a shower afterwards.

2:49:17 > 2:49:21Viewers and the national press were outraged by the gang's behaviour,

2:49:21 > 2:49:25accusing it of taking reality TV to new lows.

2:49:25 > 2:49:28My favourite girl in Geordie Shore has got to be Vicky.

2:49:28 > 2:49:31I reckon Vicky's going to kick off without a doubt.

2:49:31 > 2:49:33Vicky. "Don't push us, Jay."

2:49:33 > 2:49:36I'm still raging about them bringing back them lasses

2:49:36 > 2:49:38and now he feels the need to mug us off again.

2:49:41 > 2:49:45Any girl that spits in her man's face is a girl I want to be rolling with.

2:49:47 > 2:49:50I'm a bit embarrassed that I managed

2:49:50 > 2:49:52to spit in Jason's face.

2:49:52 > 2:49:54But he did piss us off.

2:49:54 > 2:49:57You did it first, Jay! You did it first.

2:49:57 > 2:49:58'I was working in a call centre.'

2:49:58 > 2:50:00I was shite at it.

2:50:00 > 2:50:03I was on me last warning, absolutely hated it.

2:50:03 > 2:50:06It was an opportunity to do something

2:50:06 > 2:50:10that not many people will ever, ever get the chance to experience -

2:50:10 > 2:50:12getting paid to get pissed.

2:50:19 > 2:50:21Oh, no.

2:50:24 > 2:50:27I just loved the mad, swearing, Geordie patter.

2:50:32 > 2:50:35As a Scotsman, I could almost understand most of it as well.

2:50:37 > 2:50:38Tashing on.

2:50:38 > 2:50:39Tashing on.

2:50:39 > 2:50:41I've no idea.

2:50:42 > 2:50:45Ejaculating on someone's top lip.

2:50:45 > 2:50:48Get a tash on - it means to get off with someone or snog them.

2:50:48 > 2:50:51Tashing on, I'm going to take full credit for.

2:50:51 > 2:50:54It was just necking on, having a kiss.

2:50:55 > 2:50:57Mortal.

2:50:57 > 2:50:58Um...

2:50:58 > 2:51:01Dead? That's dead.

2:51:01 > 2:51:03Must mean hammered or pissed or drunk.

2:51:03 > 2:51:07- GEORDIE ACCENT:- Absolutely mortal, man. It means getting drunk.

2:51:09 > 2:51:12Has a girl ever performed a slut drop on me?

2:51:12 > 2:51:14That's a first. I've never heard of that term.

2:51:14 > 2:51:15What's a slut drop?

2:51:15 > 2:51:19Just by hearing that, I know exactly what it is. A slut that has dropped.

2:51:19 > 2:51:22- Aw, show a slut drop.- Slut drop is getting so famous right now.

2:51:22 > 2:51:25It's a busy, busy bar on a Saturday night,

2:51:25 > 2:51:29and the only way you're going to let that lad across the room know that you're into him

2:51:29 > 2:51:32is by...doing a slut drop.

2:51:32 > 2:51:35He starts, like, grinding behind on you, like, he's feeling you,

2:51:35 > 2:51:38he's enjoying it and then all of a sudden - boom! Slut drop.

2:51:38 > 2:51:40That's it, you've pulled.

2:51:40 > 2:51:44And then after that, he is all over you like a rash.

2:51:44 > 2:51:47I'm honestly not surprised that we're in your top 50 Most Annoying.

2:51:47 > 2:51:52At the end of the day, we're a bunch of over-tanned, talentless twats.

2:51:52 > 2:51:55At nine, it's the pap with the carefully-crafted pecs,

2:51:55 > 2:51:57who can only be described as...

2:51:57 > 2:51:59# So macho... #

2:51:59 > 2:52:01I've never given a shit what people think.

2:52:01 > 2:52:03# So macho... #

2:52:03 > 2:52:06Which is just as well.

2:52:06 > 2:52:09With a reputation as the most prolific paparazzi in the world,

2:52:09 > 2:52:11Darryn Lions made an expose of himself

2:52:11 > 2:52:14when he entered the celebrity Big Brother house this year.

2:52:14 > 2:52:15I was quite surprised

2:52:15 > 2:52:18Darryn Lyons entered Celebrity Big Brother, because it's normally

2:52:18 > 2:52:22full of the worst kind of attention-seekers you've ever seen in your life.

2:52:22 > 2:52:25Just to look at Darryn, he doesn't want the attention.

2:52:25 > 2:52:26He keeps himself to himself.

2:52:26 > 2:52:31He dresses normally, he's got a normal haircut. I couldn't understand it at all.

2:52:31 > 2:52:34I'm not bothered about being watched 24 hours a day.

2:52:34 > 2:52:36I've got nothing to hide. I am who I am. You love me or hate me.

2:52:36 > 2:52:39It's one tick off the bucket list that not many people

2:52:39 > 2:52:42and not many celebrities on the planet will get to do.

2:52:42 > 2:52:46But it was his much talked about bizarre new body that sent Britain bonkers.

2:52:46 > 2:52:49I think he's so cute!

2:52:49 > 2:52:51He looks like a cute little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

2:52:54 > 2:52:57And the press went to town on Darryn's shiny turtle tummy.

2:52:57 > 2:53:02Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! I loved it. It was a fantastic headline.

2:53:05 > 2:53:08Darryn's washboard stomach is a result of body contour surgery -

2:53:08 > 2:53:12a fat-hoovering procedure costing him over ten grand.

2:53:14 > 2:53:18What a body. I mean, wow, what a body.

2:53:18 > 2:53:20It looks like a child's drawing.

2:53:20 > 2:53:23It's really strange.

2:53:23 > 2:53:26I don't think there's any man with a body like mine and Darryn's

2:53:26 > 2:53:30who watched that and went, "Wow, life-changer."

2:53:30 > 2:53:34It's been a life-changing thing and, at the end of the day, I'm proud as punch.

2:53:34 > 2:53:40With the amount of girls stopping me in the streets saying, "Show us your abs," it's been a bit of a winner.

2:53:40 > 2:53:42'Darryn is working it.'

2:53:42 > 2:53:45Not just proud of showing off his body, Darryn also took delight

2:53:45 > 2:53:50in revealing he's had more than just a few notches on his bedpost.

2:53:50 > 2:53:55'Darryn is regaling the housemates with another tale from his glory days.'

2:53:55 > 2:54:00- You had 12 women in bed with you? - It was a good night.

2:54:00 > 2:54:04Wow, I thought there was other guys involved. I'm... 12 in a bed?

2:54:04 > 2:54:09It was those crazy days when I was... Well, I was a lot older than you, actually.

2:54:09 > 2:54:12Old enough to know better, you man slag.

2:54:12 > 2:54:16# Sexy boy... #

2:54:16 > 2:54:21I think Darryn Lyons' lady-man ability is all in the mohican.

2:54:21 > 2:54:24It's like his mojo, know what I mean? What he does is, like an avatar,

2:54:24 > 2:54:28he gets the end of his hair and attaches it to the female's hair

2:54:28 > 2:54:31and then they make a love connection and that's how they mate.

2:54:31 > 2:54:35I was quite surprised to hear that Darryn Lyons is a bit of a ladies' man -

2:54:35 > 2:54:38then I found out it was actually Darryn who'd said that.

2:54:38 > 2:54:42So what has Lyons the Lothario given us in 2011?

2:54:42 > 2:54:45It's all pink dressing gowns,

2:54:45 > 2:54:48crazy hair and chiselled torsos.

2:54:48 > 2:54:53And if that's what I've brought to the celebrity world as the most annoying celebrity in 2011,

2:54:53 > 2:54:55well, giddy up.

2:54:55 > 2:54:59Riding high in our chart this year, and not for her music,

2:54:59 > 2:55:01it's the queen mother of pop, Madonna.

2:55:02 > 2:55:06Never shy of getting what she wants, when Madonna attempts to

2:55:06 > 2:55:09give us more than three minutes of pop, it's always a worry.

2:55:11 > 2:55:14Madonna... Eugh.

2:55:14 > 2:55:15What more can you say?

2:55:15 > 2:55:20Last year, she was playing fashion designer with daughter Lourdes,

2:55:20 > 2:55:22but this year, Madonna has been making a movie.

2:55:22 > 2:55:25# We're making a movie Isn't it groovy?

2:55:25 > 2:55:28# Welcome to my house. #

2:55:28 > 2:55:31Wow, that's some pretty smooth rhyming there, Madonna.

2:55:31 > 2:55:32Mmm.

2:55:32 > 2:55:36Can't wait to get that single.

2:55:36 > 2:55:38# Every little thing that you say or do

2:55:38 > 2:55:42# I'm hung up I'm hanging up on you... #

2:55:42 > 2:55:45I think she should stick to what she knows.

2:55:45 > 2:55:48You've been very successful, pet, for a lot of years.

2:55:48 > 2:55:50You've reinvented yourself time and time again.

2:55:50 > 2:55:54I don't know another 50-year-old bird who looks as good as you in a leotard.

2:55:54 > 2:55:57That is an achievement. Why can't she just be proud of that?

2:55:57 > 2:55:59Writing and directing W.E. -

2:55:59 > 2:56:03a modern biopic about Edward and Mrs Simpson - in London this year,

2:56:03 > 2:56:05Madonna had hoped looking rough behind a camera

2:56:05 > 2:56:09would give her movie the credibility she so desperately craved.

2:56:09 > 2:56:12The whole process has been extremely...um...

2:56:12 > 2:56:17I don't know, inspiring, exhausting. I've never worked so hard in my life.

2:56:17 > 2:56:21But all that hard work wasn't enough to impress the critics.

2:56:23 > 2:56:27So whilst trying to woo the public and the press

2:56:27 > 2:56:29into seeing her dodgy directorial debut,

2:56:29 > 2:56:33she spectacularly managed to annoy everyone when a nice man offered her a flower.

2:56:33 > 2:56:39This flower for you. You're my princess, thank you so much. I love you.

2:56:39 > 2:56:42On receiving the floral gift, Madge promptly discarded it

2:56:42 > 2:56:45and was overheard telling the person next to her...

2:56:46 > 2:56:48How rude!

2:56:48 > 2:56:51# I beg your pardon... #

2:56:51 > 2:56:52The guy is lucky

2:56:52 > 2:56:55Madonna didn't take the hydrangea and slap him across the face.

2:56:55 > 2:56:58Don't give me some broken-down 4 flower, give me a bouquet.

2:56:58 > 2:57:01- Madonna, where's the flowers? - Oh, my assistant took them.

2:57:01 > 2:57:03'I didn't know she loathed them.'

2:57:03 > 2:57:05Maybe that was my mistake

2:57:05 > 2:57:08not to read beforehand that she loathed them.

2:57:08 > 2:57:09I just don't see it myself.

2:57:09 > 2:57:12I mean, what's a hydrangea ever done to anyone?

2:57:12 > 2:57:16It's fairly inoffensive. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned manners, Madonna?

2:57:16 > 2:57:20As a human, I was upset because I put all my love into the gift

2:57:20 > 2:57:23and she put it on the floor and didn't care about it.

2:57:23 > 2:57:24She's a big star.

2:57:24 > 2:57:28She should be grateful for any attention she receives.

2:57:28 > 2:57:30This is a good lesson for Madonna.

2:57:30 > 2:57:32I think it was all set up

2:57:32 > 2:57:36just to keep people from talking about the terrible, terrible movie.

2:57:36 > 2:57:39Of course, W.E. stands for Wallis and Edward,

2:57:39 > 2:57:42but I think for most of us it stands for, "Whatever, Madonna."

2:57:44 > 2:57:46At number seven, it's Roo-KnowWho.

2:57:50 > 2:57:53The really annoying thing about Wayne is that he's a pro-footballer.

2:57:53 > 2:57:56He makes shedloads of money.

2:57:56 > 2:57:58He is the idol of millions

2:57:58 > 2:58:02and he's got no idea about how lucky he is.

2:58:02 > 2:58:06It's been yet another 12 months of annoying antics for our Wayne.

2:58:06 > 2:58:10Last year, it might have been all about prostitutes and contract disputes,

2:58:10 > 2:58:12this year, though, it's a case of...

2:58:12 > 2:58:15# Hair we go, hair we go, hair we go. #

2:58:15 > 2:58:17Wayne Rooney's hair transplant.

2:58:17 > 2:58:20If you've got that much money at your disposal,

2:58:20 > 2:58:23I would have gone, "There's a million, find Michael Bolton, do him..."

2:58:23 > 2:58:28# Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? #

2:58:28 > 2:58:32Put his head on your head. Amazing head of hair.

2:58:32 > 2:58:34Timeless as well.

2:58:34 > 2:58:37But a hair transplant hardly seems the stuff of a no-nonsense footballer

2:58:37 > 2:58:40in his mid-20s, so are we being a bit vain, Rooney?

2:58:40 > 2:58:43It's not like he's doing it to pick up women. He's Wayne Rooney.

2:58:43 > 2:58:45He'll buy a girl if he wants one.

2:58:45 > 2:58:48He'll buy a granny, you know what he's like. It doesn't matter.

2:58:48 > 2:58:51Just go to the OAP shop, that's like Toys R Us for him.

2:58:51 > 2:58:55Wayne Rooney sold out the bald brothers, but he's got more swagger on the pitch.

2:58:55 > 2:58:58He's doing a lot better. It's given him a bit of a spring in his step.

2:58:59 > 2:59:02With the new thatch giving Wayne a Samson-like strut,

2:59:02 > 2:59:08summer saw him take the missus for a dirty weekend, but being annoying celebrity glampers,

2:59:08 > 2:59:12their trip to Glastonbury wasn't the typical festival experience.

2:59:12 > 2:59:14He spent ten grand on a campervan. It's only a third

2:59:14 > 2:59:15of what he spent on his hair,

2:59:15 > 2:59:18so I suppose it's a wise investment for him.

2:59:18 > 2:59:19I like the fact he needed security

2:59:19 > 2:59:23to take him to the toilet as well. I don't know if that was to protect him

2:59:23 > 2:59:27or just that he still needs someone to wipe his backside at his age.

2:59:27 > 2:59:302011 was also the year Wayne took to Twitter.

2:59:30 > 2:59:32He soon had over 1.5 million followers,

2:59:32 > 2:59:38but it didn't take long to discover that not all of them were friendly.

2:59:38 > 2:59:41Nice to see home fans booing you(!)

2:59:41 > 2:59:45I saw he was having an argument with a Twitter follower that was giving him abuse

2:59:45 > 2:59:48and Rooney's attitude to this wasn't to block him

2:59:48 > 2:59:52or just to ignore him, it was to offer him "outside after training".

2:59:52 > 2:59:57He said that he could put him to sleep within ten seconds.

2:59:57 > 3:00:00I would think that a little bit of criticism

3:00:00 > 3:00:02for a guy that earns 200 grand...

3:00:02 > 3:00:05If I had that in my bank balance, I could probably take it.

3:00:05 > 3:00:09Wayne's Twitter tantrum wasn't the only time he lost his rag this year.

3:00:09 > 3:00:12He also got sent off playing for England,

3:00:12 > 3:00:15meaning he now has a ban for the beginning of Euro 2012.

3:00:16 > 3:00:19Wayne's red card was entirely unnecessary.

3:00:19 > 3:00:22He's an important player for England, OK,

3:00:22 > 3:00:25so he's not just let down himself, he's let down the nation.

3:00:25 > 3:00:29We might not qualify without him. How annoying is that?

3:00:30 > 3:00:33At number six, it's Britain's most celebrated bottom.

3:00:36 > 3:00:40April 29th, 2011. The nation gathered around the television

3:00:40 > 3:00:44to see our future king and queen tie the knot.

3:00:44 > 3:00:48Up until then, all the talk had been about Kate's dress. Then this happened.

3:00:48 > 3:00:51# I see you, baby

3:00:51 > 3:00:53# Shaking that ass... #

3:00:53 > 3:00:56I was watching the Royal Wedding and there was an audible gasp

3:00:56 > 3:00:59when Pippa's rear made its first appearance.

3:00:59 > 3:01:04She wore a dress that was clearly designed

3:01:04 > 3:01:06to maximise her ass.

3:01:06 > 3:01:09And that was our introduction to poor old Pippa Middleton,

3:01:09 > 3:01:14who suddenly found she'd become the owner of the most famous and annoying bum of the year.

3:01:14 > 3:01:18Pippa's bum just took over the nation.

3:01:18 > 3:01:21As soon as she stepped out of that car and shook her booty,

3:01:21 > 3:01:23that was it, we were all going crazy.

3:01:23 > 3:01:25There was a lot of hype that day.

3:01:25 > 3:01:27Everything got blown out of proportion.

3:01:27 > 3:01:29If you're a lady and marrying the heir to the throne,

3:01:29 > 3:01:32this must be one of your worst nightmares.

3:01:32 > 3:01:35Your sister and her arse are the most famous thing of the day.

3:01:35 > 3:01:38In fact, such was the instant fame of Pippa and her bum

3:01:38 > 3:01:40that by the end of the day,

3:01:40 > 3:01:43her royal hotness had many a loyal subject.

3:01:43 > 3:01:46As soon as Pippa Middleton stepped out of the Rolls-Royce

3:01:46 > 3:01:49at Westminster Abbey, my friends and I were all united in the fact

3:01:49 > 3:01:51that, yeah, she was pretty stunning.

3:01:51 > 3:01:55Just as a joke, I started a Facebook page with the title

3:01:55 > 3:01:58Pippa Middleton Arse Appreciation Society.

3:01:58 > 3:02:02Every time I refreshed the page we were getting ten more people,

3:02:02 > 3:02:0420 more people, 30 more people.

3:02:04 > 3:02:07I think it had about 40,000 likes by the end of the first day,

3:02:07 > 3:02:09and it just went crazy.

3:02:09 > 3:02:14It wasn't just frisky Facebookers who went potty for Pippa.

3:02:14 > 3:02:20After the wedding, newspapers and magazines grabbed hold of her bottom and wouldn't let go.

3:02:20 > 3:02:25I really felt sorry for her, because she's getting papped all the time, and she's so not ready for it.

3:02:25 > 3:02:30The fact that she can walk out in a dodgy-looking dress and get on the front page

3:02:30 > 3:02:33of five national newspapers is over the top to me.

3:02:33 > 3:02:37We know more about her bum than we do about her.

3:02:37 > 3:02:40It's more of a celebrity entity than the rest of her.

3:02:40 > 3:02:44And it's not just the UK that seems to have developed an annoying obsession

3:02:44 > 3:02:46with Britain's best-known bum.

3:02:46 > 3:02:50P-Middy has also been getting plenty of interest from our friends across the pond.

3:02:50 > 3:02:53Americans clearly have a bum fixation.

3:02:53 > 3:02:57Now apparently Pippa's, as opposed to Kim Kardashian or J-Lo's,

3:02:57 > 3:03:01is the number one most-requested bum in the plastic surgeon's office.

3:03:01 > 3:03:06Having seen Pippa, they come in, they want the smaller,

3:03:06 > 3:03:09more rounded, tight, fit buttocks,

3:03:09 > 3:03:12and it stimulated a lot of interest around the world.

3:03:12 > 3:03:18Back on home turf, perhaps all this irritating fuss over Pippa and her bum is finally starting to die down.

3:03:18 > 3:03:21Faced with the conundrum of who should win Rear of the Year UK,

3:03:21 > 3:03:26voters handed the prize to an old favourite, offering one from the bottom and two from the top.

3:03:26 > 3:03:29I can't understand why Carol Vorderman beat Pippa Middleton

3:03:29 > 3:03:31to Rear of the Year this year,

3:03:31 > 3:03:35because I thought that the campaign we put together was strong enough.

3:03:35 > 3:03:36But maybe next year.

3:03:36 > 3:03:39As Pippa found out, dressing to show off your best assets

3:03:39 > 3:03:42is one way guaranteed of hogging headlines.

3:03:44 > 3:03:48But some stars have pushed it a bit too far this year.

3:03:48 > 3:03:52This is our countdown of those celebrities who revealed much more of themselves

3:03:52 > 3:03:53than they would have liked.