0:00:00 > 0:00:01- Subtitles
0:00:02 > 0:00:05- The Welsh family is changing.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- Within the past half a century...
0:00:07 > 0:00:11- ..the traditional model - of Mam, Dad and 2.4 children...
0:00:11 > 0:00:13- ..has all but disappeared.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17- It has been replaced by an - altogether more contemporary unit.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21- One that's more complex - and colourful than before.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26- These are the stories - of the modern Welsh family.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38- Last year, 280 children in Wales - were waiting to be adopted.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- Most were taken from their parents - by a court order...
0:00:45 > 0:00:47- ..for their own safety.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58- In this programme, - we follow two families...
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- ..on a journey - to adopt and transform the lives...
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- ..of some of those children - on the adoption list.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- Social worker Eleri - is tasked with finding parents...
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- ..for children on the adoption list.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- It can be overwhelming because - so many are waiting to be adopted.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- It's sad that children have to - wait so long for a permanent family.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Though there are - almost 300 children on the list...
0:01:33 > 0:01:37- ..only 40 Welsh couples - were prepared to adopt last year.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41- Hello. Can I help you with anything?
0:01:42 > 0:01:47- We're just having a look at - the moment. That's all we can do!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- No problem. Thank you.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- Chris and Janine have just begun - the adoption process.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- The couple married - more than two years ago...
0:01:57 > 0:01:59- ..and tried for a family right away.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- We tried to conceive naturally...
0:02:04 > 0:02:08- ..but were unsuccessful.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12- We decided to adopt.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19- You've got to be completely sure - because it's a big decision...
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- ..and a massive responsibility.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24- I've got my eye on that dress.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- Janine's fancied a dress, - so she'd be happy having a girl...
0:02:31 > 0:02:33- ..just so that she can buy it!
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- I'd wear that myself!
0:02:37 > 0:02:43- At the moment, they can only dream - about the child they hope to adopt.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- I just want to see somebody in it.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49- We don't mind, pink or blue.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- I'm sure we'll be back again.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- I'm sure we'll be back again.- - Bye.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- Good morning. Adoption.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Eleri works with - the West Wales Adoption team...
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- ..an agency which places children - with suitable parents.
0:03:09 > 0:03:14- Each month, a monthly magazine - lists those who are still waiting.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18- It's overwhelming when you consider - how many there are in Britain.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23- It helps you understand how - many families we need each year...
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- ..to meet the demand.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- Many of these children - are vulnerable.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- Placing them with adoptive parents - is a complex process...
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- ..that can take more than a year.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40- It's a thorough process...
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- ..and one that's difficult - for people to go through.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- We make no apologies for that.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50- It's not as simple - as pairing a child with a family.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- You have to evaluate a child's - needs and what a family can provide.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- Eleri guides couples - through the process...
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- ..and assesses - their suitability as parents.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12- We're visiting Chris and Janine, - who've decided they want to adopt.
0:04:13 > 0:04:18- We're going to discuss why they - think adoption is suitable for them.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22- This is the third time - Eleri has met Chris and Janine.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27- They're very aware that - the assessment process has begun...
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- ..and people can be nervous.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- People's homes are tidy - when you visit them.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- You can tell - they've been busy vacuuming.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43- It's important Eleri understands - Chris and Janine's hopes and fears.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- We'll begin by drawing a picture.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57- Draw a picture of a river, which - symbolizes the adoption journey.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- I want you then to draw boulders...
0:05:01 > 0:05:06- ..to signify barriers you've - encountered that've slowed you down.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- I'd like you to draw bridges...
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- ..to signify - what has helped you along...
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- ..and we'll discuss them - once you've finished.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17- It's hard trying to think ad hoc.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- Why are you struggling?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- I'm just thinking!
0:05:25 > 0:05:29- Over the coming months, - we'll focus on their relationship...
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- ..and their experiences - as children...
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- ..and what kind - of upbringing they had.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- Also their experiences - of caring for children...
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- ..and their understanding - of adoptive children's needs.
0:05:44 > 0:05:49- Your barriers are interesting - because a lot of people'd say...
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- My initial concern was age.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- I thought if you were over 40, - then you weren't allowed to adopt.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- At the time, we were over 40.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- At the time, we were over 40.- - Janine's got the perception...
0:06:00 > 0:06:03- ..of 40 being old.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Actually, 40 is the new 30!
0:06:05 > 0:06:09- How did you deal with the issues - Janine was discussing?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12- Did you say to her, - "I want to adopt"?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- And Janine - was mentioning age and work.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- How did you respond?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- I said nothing at first.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- I said nothing at first.- - How long did that last?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- I'd say it was about a year or so.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29- Janine said, "I've been - speaking to people in work...
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- "..and I think it's a good idea..."
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- It definitely helped me, - speaking to people in work...
0:06:35 > 0:06:40- ..learning from their experiences - because it's a big decision.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- It's a life-changing decision - and I wanted it to be totally right.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- Over the coming months, Eleri - will visit Chris and Janine...
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- ..a further 12 times.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- The hardest thing is - going through the entire process...
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- ..not knowing - what will happen in the end.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- Will we be successful - or will we be disappointed...
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- ..because we've been unsuccessful?
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Hello!
0:07:17 > 0:07:18- Yes, hello!
0:07:19 > 0:07:20- You drink water.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- Rebecca and Arthur - have successfully adopted a child.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Is that nice? - Do you want to give it to me?
0:07:30 > 0:07:32- 13!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- He loves hearing that.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Where's Mam's hair?
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Two months ago, their son, Deio, - came to live with them.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- Ta-ta, Deio. Ta-ta.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Every morning - when Arthur goes to work...
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- ..Deio likes waving him off - in the window.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Ta-ta!
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- In no time at all, - Deio became one of the family.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Now that he's here...
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- ..I don't think - it feels any different...
0:08:10 > 0:08:14- ..than if he'd been born naturally.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- Maybe there's more wonder now...
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- ..because he's two years of age - and not a new-born baby.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Look. A tiger! Yes!
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- And another tiger.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- This is the book we were given - by the adoption service...
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- ..which contains photographs...
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- ..of his biological parents - and foster mother.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44- It explains all the main things - that have happened to him so far.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- What do you want to do? Do you - want to build a bridge? Oh, no.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- The book...
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- ..also includes photographs - of Rebecca and Arthur.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00- The foster mother had the book - for some weeks before we arrived.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03- It's obvious she'd - gone through the book with him...
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- ..because when we walked - into the room, he knew us.
0:09:07 > 0:09:13- He pointed to us - and he obviously recognized us...
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- ..because he had - a big smile on his face.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- That was completely unexpected.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24- One day, perhaps Deio will - want to know more about his story.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- The day will come - when he'll start asking questions.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- This will help us explain.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38- Today, Rebecca, Arthur and Deio...
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- ..are one happy family.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- It surprised me how quickly - those feelings of parental love...
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- ..took hold of me, to be honest.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- I thought it would've taken longer.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54- Are you ready for bed?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56- Are you ready for bed?- - Ta-ta!
0:09:56 > 0:09:58- Sleep time.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- Quiet time.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- You're tired.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- This bedroom's been done...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- ..once before.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Well, - I thought it was done pretty well.
0:10:14 > 0:10:20- However, he's just - sanded the whole room again...
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- ..and painted it.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26- I'm particular when it - comes to things like painting...
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- ..and decorating the home.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34- But Janine thinks I'm a little - too particular. It drives her crazy!
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- Do I get your approval?
0:10:37 > 0:10:38- That's good.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- That's good.- - Are you sure?
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- You did make - a little boob on the ceiling.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51- We're not sure what age child - we're going to get...
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- ..so we bought a bed - that we think is suitable...
0:10:55 > 0:11:00- ..for a child aged between - one and a half and three.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- It's just this waiting around...
0:11:03 > 0:11:08- ..and not knowing - who we're going to get and when...
0:11:08 > 0:11:12- ..and what sex of the child, - what age of the child.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- It's kind of frustrating.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Before Chris and Janine - are paired with a child...
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- ..Eleri must be - absolutely sure they're ready.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- Today she's brought the magazine - that's full of descriptions...
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- ..about the children - on the adoption list.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- We'll start off with this one. - I've ringed him.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41- I use the magazine to help them get - a clearer picture of what to expect.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- The more complicated needs - of adopting that child.
0:11:45 > 0:11:51- It tells you about this little boy, - who's two. He's almost two.
0:11:51 > 0:11:57- It gives you his background and how - he's developed with foster carers.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00- It says he's in good health...
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- ..though he was born prematurely...
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- ..and that he's not as strong - as others of the same age.
0:12:08 > 0:12:13- Having read that, what questions - would you like to ask?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Basically, he's born prematurely...
0:12:17 > 0:12:20- ..so there could be - no reason for that...
0:12:20 > 0:12:24- ..but there could be - a drug reason or an alcohol reason.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- You'd like to know more - about the background?
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- Possibly, yes.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- No, you'll want to know more - about the background.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Yes, I'd want to know more - about his background.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- I've made them think about...
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- ..what they can handle - and what they can't handle.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- It's a continuous process - and people change.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- What they say in the beginning - changes by the end.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Will you find it hard - having a difficult child?
0:12:53 > 0:12:56- I don't think I'd find it difficult. - I've plenty of patience.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Do you think you're realistic - about how hard it might be...?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- Maybe we've made it sound - as if it's going to be easy...
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- ..but we're fully aware - it's not going to be easy.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- We don't know - what that child has been through.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- You have to take on board - uncertainty.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Even if Eleri believes Chris - and Janine are ready to adopt...
0:13:21 > 0:13:23- ..there's no certainty - it will happen.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28- At the end of the day, we make - the assessment as individuals...
0:13:28 > 0:13:33- ..but the information is shared - with a panel who have the final say.
0:13:33 > 0:13:38- The panel of experts may decide that - Chris and Janine aren't ready...
0:13:39 > 0:13:40- ..to be paired with a child.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- ..to be paired with a child.- - It's a waiting game.
0:13:43 > 0:13:47- That feeling of not knowing - what's around the corner...
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- ..is a little unsettling.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54- .
0:13:55 > 0:13:55- Subtitles
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Not long now, babe. Nervous?
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- It's an important day - for Chris and Janine.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- Today, they will meet - a panel of experts...
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- ..who will decide - if they're suitable for adoption.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14- See if I missed any bits.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- See if I missed any bits.- - Yep, you have.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Keep still a minute.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19- There we are.
0:14:24 > 0:14:25- I've got clean pants on.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27- I've got clean pants on.- - Have you got your glasses?
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Off they go, to face - one of the most important stages...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- ..of the adoption process.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41- On a scale of 1-10, - how nervous are you then?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43- 11.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- And a half.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- I'm about two, maybe.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Is that all? - You're so cool and chilled.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00- Today is all about our future.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01- Yeah, I know.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03- Yeah, I know.- - It's a yes or no.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- Just be nice to them - and smile lots.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14- Eleri meets the pair - to offer a final word of advice.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Hello, how are you?
0:15:17 > 0:15:18- Alright? Are you alright?
0:15:18 > 0:15:20- Alright? Are you alright?- - Fine, thanks.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- Right, are you ready for this?
0:15:23 > 0:15:24- Yes.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26- He's so calm.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28- He's so calm.- - Are you?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Do you think it's a done deal?
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- No, there's - an element of uncertainty...
0:15:36 > 0:15:38- ..but at the same time...
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- ..positive thinking plays a part.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45- It's important - that it's fresh in our minds.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50- The panel will ask us questions - which we have to answer.
0:15:51 > 0:15:52- How many are on the panel?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- How many are on the panel?- - Up to 12.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- That many?
0:15:56 > 0:15:59- That many?- - Yes. You look alarmed, Chris.
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- I'm nervous - about going before the panel.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09- That feeling of disappointment - is at the back of my mind.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- That we may not be successful - - that's what bothers me more...
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- ..than going before the panel.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- I've given them my recommendation.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24- I've told them you should be - taken on as adoptive parents.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- They'll have their view as well.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- It's not a rubber stamping.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- It's not a rubber stamping.- - Cross fingers and hope for the best.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35- There we are then. - We'll wait and see.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Thanks, Eleri. See you later.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42- They're walking into a room - with at least 10 people...
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- ..who they've never met before.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- They're right to be nervous.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- It's crunch time.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55- I've never wanted an hour - to go by so quickly in all my life!
0:16:58 > 0:17:02- We have to wait for a little while - until they call us.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- We go before the panel first - and answer any questions...
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- ..after they've read your report.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13- Then they ask - the prospective parents to come in.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- Though I tell them, "They're nice...
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- "..they want to see you - at your best"...
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- ..people are still nervous.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25- We're nervous as social workers too.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29- They might be critical - about our assessment of them.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- You're nervous too - as a social worker.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- This is the report I've written - about Chris and Janine.
0:17:37 > 0:17:41- This is what the panel will - look at today before we go in...
0:17:41 > 0:17:45- ..and then they'll ask me questions - about the report...
0:17:45 > 0:17:49- ..and some things - they'll want to know more about.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54- Would that have been - at the beginning of the year?
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- But there's a problem.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- They have an old version - of the report to show the panel.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- So, what have they got? - The revised one?
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- No, this one. The one I printed off - is not the revised one.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- They must quickly try - to correct the version.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16- Was that the only date?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- I remember you said before - there was something else as well.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- There's no time to do more, - as the panel calls Eleri...
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- ..to present the case.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- I'll just check that out. - That's fine.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- I'll be back in in a little bit.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- Oh, dear me!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- Hello. Sorry to keep you.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- Can I introduce you to Anne - Williams, who's our chairperson.
0:19:01 > 0:19:06- The panel's chairperson - comes to speak to Chris and Janine.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10- The panel looks at the work - Eleri's been doing with you...
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- ..and then - we have questions to ask you.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17- We'll try to make it as relaxing - as we can because it is a big step.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19- Ready?
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- Is it cold in there? - I'm having hot flushes anyway.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- Everyone - has to go before the panel...
0:19:41 > 0:19:45- ..so they can consider you suitable - to be parents.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- We'll close the blind.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- For Deio's mother, Rebecca...
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- ..the experience of going before - the panel is fresh in her mind.
0:19:57 > 0:20:03- You're in a room and there's 15-20 - people sitting around a table...
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- ..asking you questions.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- It's quite formal...
0:20:10 > 0:20:12- ..and quite frightening, in a way.
0:20:13 > 0:20:19- You're aware that your life - is in the panel's hands.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25- When the panel recommended Rebecca - and her partner for adoption...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- ..everything changed.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32- Within a few months, their son Deio - came to live with them.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- People say - "He's very lucky to have you"...
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- ..but I feel we're the lucky ones...
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- ..for having him.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47- We've definitely benefited - from this situation.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- That'll do.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- Right, what's next?
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Yes, lovely. Thanks very much.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00- Yes, lovely. Thanks very much.- - Thank you, all.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- For Chris and Janine, - the interview's over.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- I feel it went alright.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- I was nervous when I first went in.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17- I felt a positive vibe from them.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- I think - we're going to be alright now.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- I don't know. - You can never say never.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25- Won't be long now, babe.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30- There's nothing left to do - but await the decision...
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- ..and hope for the best.
0:21:33 > 0:21:38- I do feel Chris and I have never - been dealt a good hand of cards...
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- ..and we've always - come up against a brick wall...
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- ..or something negative - has happened.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- We've never really, - since the day we met...
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- ..have anything, other than meeting, - really positive happen.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- So this is our chance now, I think.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57- Yeah. Definite.
0:22:01 > 0:22:05- At last, the wait is over.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- Your ordeal is over.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- I'm very pleased to tell you - we are recommending you as adopters.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Thank you. - Thanks for all your hard work.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23- This is just the start now, right?
0:22:25 > 0:22:27- This is just the beginning for them.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33- We're happy it's all over - and that we've been successful.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- It's a big weight off our shoulders.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- This is just the beginning.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:23:00 > 0:23:00- .