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0:00:02 > 0:00:04- The Welsh family is changing.
0:00:06 > 0:00:07- Over the past 50 years...
0:00:07 > 0:00:12- ..the traditional image of Mam, Dad - and two children has been shattered.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15- Another image has replaced it.
0:00:15 > 0:00:21- An image of a more modern, more - complex and more colourful family.
0:00:21 > 0:00:25- Here are some of the stories - of the modern Welsh family.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39- Today, there are over - 11,000 young carers in Wales.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- Children who care - for a family member who's ill.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- My name is Garmon. I'm 13 years old.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- I live with Mam, Dad, - my brother and sister.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59- Through their work...
0:01:00 > 0:01:04- ..young carers save the Government - millions of pounds each year.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- I help Mam and Dad - because Dad has a bad leg...
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- ..and Mam has panic attacks.
0:01:10 > 0:01:17- These are the hidden helpers - who subsidise the welfare state.
0:01:17 > 0:01:22- When I grow up and move out, - no-one will look after Mam and Dad.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- That worries me sometimes.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29- There'll be no-one - to look after them.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36- I don't know what we'd do - without Garmon Jac to look after us.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37- Dear me.
0:01:37 > 0:01:44- Mam and I wouldn't be able to cope, - we'd be nothing, nothing.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- # Happy birthday to you
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- # Happy birthday to you
0:01:52 > 0:01:56- # Happy birthday to Garmon... #
0:01:56 > 0:01:57- For the past 20 years...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- ..Garmon's parents - have had problems with their health.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- They've relied on their children - to help them on a daily basis.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- We'd be stuck - without the three of them.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15- They're life-savers, aren't they?
0:02:15 > 0:02:16- Yeah.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Anwen suffers with depression.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26- I never thought I'd be able - to have children.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- About three months - before we got married...
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- ..we found out that I was expecting.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38- That helped.
0:02:39 > 0:02:46- It was as if the hormones were - helping me overcome the depression.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- The depression returned.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54- I've been in and out of hospital - over the past five years.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- This is our wedding album.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Our children have never seen it.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- We'll just flick through it.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- It was such a windy day.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- My veil went everywhere.
0:03:19 > 0:03:24- There's a photo of myself and Dad - ready to get into the car...
0:03:24 > 0:03:28- ..and the veil - is blowing in the wind.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- A photo of Dad giving me a kiss.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36- This is weird.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- This was before I was born.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- You were three months old...
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- I know, I was in there. - I'm in all the pictures.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- You were in my belly!
0:03:46 > 0:03:50- I was looking forward - to enjoying my old age.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- I'm 20 years older than Anwen.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57- I was looking forward - to enjoying my life...
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- ..in peace and quiet.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- No suck luck! We had a load - of blinkin' children instead.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- Noisy children - stomping around the place.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14- They're lovely children.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- I'm taking them to school.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29- I'll get some peace at home now.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- Every morning, - while the children attend school...
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- ..Mick and Anwen go for a cuppa.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48- Garmon's the one - who gives us a cuddle.
0:04:48 > 0:04:49- Yeah.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Yeah.- - He asks if we're alright.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57- When I was in hospital two months - ago, in a psychiatric ward...
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- ..Garmon came in and I was crying.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- He sat on my lap.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06- He gave me a cuddle.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08- He was with me - and I was just crying.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- I was so depressed.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15- He sat on my lap - and gave me a cuddle.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18- He was there for about - ten minutes, just saying...
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- .."It's OK, Mam, we'll go out - for a coffee some time."
0:05:24 > 0:05:29- It's a big thing for a child - of that age to understand.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- When I wake up, Dad or Mam will ask - for a cup of tea so I'll make it.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Then I'll do my chores.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- You'll have to put the rubbish out - in a minute.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46- Just the bucket and recycling today.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49- OK, bach?
0:05:49 > 0:05:50- OK, bach?- - Yes.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Yeah, yeah, good boy.
0:05:58 > 0:06:03- I clean the toilets, - I tidy up in there, I help.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- Mam and Dad trust me to be there.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- Good boy, Garmon. Thank you.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- Mick has been disabled - since before Garmon was born.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- I don't remember Dad being healthy.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- He has these holes in his legs.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28- They're disgusting.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- It's really painful for him.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- He can't walk.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- It's really difficult.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Initially, it was osteoarthritis.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43- It was two bones - rubbing against each other.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- I had a knee replacement.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- That worked for five years...
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- ..until it came loose - because of an infection.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57- I had a second knee replacement.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- And then I was OK for a while.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- That's how it was over the years, - really.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- Anwen's problems - aren't limited to depression.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- I'm epileptic.
0:07:18 > 0:07:25- I have to take care when I'm - using the kettle and the oven.
0:07:25 > 0:07:32- Garmon is mostly responsible - for making us cups of tea.
0:07:34 > 0:07:39- He's good. He'll come downstairs and - he'll make a cuppa for both of us.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41- "Oh, OK then," he says.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- He always makes them, - fair play to him.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- As well as looking after - Mam and Dad...
0:07:50 > 0:07:55- ..Garmon also pays special attention - to his brother, who's autistic.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- Gwion can be very nasty to me.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- Because of his autism, - I don't think he realises that.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- I don't fully blame him.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- This is Rhian's room. That door.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16- This is the toilet. The fancy door.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- This is the airing cupboard. - This is Gwion's room.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24- I used to be in there, but now - I'm in here with Mam and Dad.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26- This is my room.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- That's my bed, - down there, on the floor.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- This is Mam and Dad's bed.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- They used to share a room.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Because of Gwion's autism...
0:08:40 > 0:08:47- ..he didn't give Garmon - any personal space.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- There were so many arguments...
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- ..we decided to remove Garmon - from the room...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56- ..and he's now in our room.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- I want my own room.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Being in here is OK...
0:09:04 > 0:09:06- ..but it's not OK OK.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11- We've applied - for a four-bedroom house.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16- Of course, the supply - of four-bedroom houses is limited.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Sometimes, I hide behind this chair.
0:09:20 > 0:09:25- Then no-one can see me - and no-one can interrupt me.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- # I said that's life
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- # And as funny as it may seem... #
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- One thing that Garmon and Gwion - enjoy doing is performing.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- I like dancing.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- I feel alive.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- When I'm home...
0:09:48 > 0:09:52- ..I'm sometimes happy - and sometimes sad.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54- When I'm dancing, I'm always happy.
0:09:56 > 0:10:02- These are the things I've done - since I've been on this planet.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- Eight pantomimes.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10- Mother Goose, Jack and the - Beanstalk, Cinderella, Robin Hood...
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- ..Aladdin, Dick Whittington - and the Pirate of the Caribbean...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- ..and Snow White - and The Seven Dwarves.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Four musicals - and I'm preparing for one right now.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- The children, Gwion and Garmon...
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- ..they're in a dance show.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34- Gwion has worked out precisely...
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- ..how I can watch the show...
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- ..without there being - a large crowd around me.
0:10:44 > 0:10:49- It's difficult for Mam and Dad - to watch me when I'm on stage.
0:10:49 > 0:10:55- Mam gets panic attacks and Dad will - be in too much pain with his legs.
0:10:55 > 0:11:00- I've performed - Gustav Mahler's Eighth Symphony...
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- ..at the Mariinsky Theatre - in Russia...
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- ..and the Millennium Centre - in Cardiff.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- At the moment, touch wood...
0:11:12 > 0:11:14- ..touch wood...
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- ..things aren't too bad.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- When I get depressed...
0:11:19 > 0:11:23- ..I just lie on the sofa - or go up to bed.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- I don't want to see anyone.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- When I'm like that...
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- ..they think...
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- ..I have no interest - in their lives...
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- ..even though they know I'm ill.
0:11:39 > 0:11:44- When I have respite - from the depression...
0:11:46 > 0:11:52- ..I think it's important for me - to push my boundaries.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54- I watch them if I can.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03- Tonight is the opening night - of Garmon and Gwion's show.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- I really want to turn around - and not go.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24- Before the show has even started. - Anwen feels the strain.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46- As the auditorium fills up, - she goes from bad to worse.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- By the end of the first act, - it's too much for Anwen.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- I was shaking, I was sweating.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- I just couldn't do it.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22- It's so difficult.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- Just doing something normal.
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0:13:36 > 0:13:36- Subtitles
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- Good morning.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45- What's this?
0:13:45 > 0:13:46- A tent.
0:13:46 > 0:13:51- Where's Garmon this morning? - He's just come out of his tent.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- He's slept several nights - in his tent.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- I've put a mattress inside.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- I have an extension cord - to charge my phone...
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- ..and play on it.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08- Last night, - he turned to me and said...
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- .."I'm sleeping in the tent, Mam.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17- "I want you and Dad - to have a bed to sleep in."
0:14:17 > 0:14:22- I said, "You don't have to do that. - It's your room, not Mam and Dad's."
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- We've been coming down to sleep - in the living room.
0:14:29 > 0:14:35- He has his own bedroom, - our old room.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- He's still thinking about us.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39- He sleeps in the tent now...
0:14:40 > 0:14:44- ..and we have the luxury - of having the mattress in his room.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- This morning, Anwen's food shopping - for the family.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- Garmon's coming with me.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- I'm nervous - before we've even left home.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09- One day, when Mam is better...
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- ..and I can go places...
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- ..we'll come here to have a meal.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15- OK?
0:15:15 > 0:15:20- Lettuce, pepper, ham, salad cream, - Nutella, water, carrots, peaches.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- Peaches, peaches, where are they?
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- Tangerines.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Soon, panic sets in.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32- Nutella.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- Salad cream, salad cream.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- Do you want to go outside, Mam?
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- Um, no, I'll stay here.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44- Where's the salad cream?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- Let's go down here.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53- We'll have to leave the salad cream.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58- When we're paying, - do you want to go outside?
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- I'll give you the money.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- Um...
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- If you can...
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- ..look for salad cream.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Pay for everything - and we'll sort it out outside.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20- See you outside.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38- This makes me feel so upset.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- OK, Mam?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- Hello, Dad.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02- Hello. We're in Morrisons.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- Mam's like, she's...
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- ..you know, Mam...
0:17:09 > 0:17:10- OK.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Ta-ra.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Sorry, love.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- OK.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21- I found the salad cream.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22- Good boy.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- Here's Dad.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- Come on, mate. OK?
0:17:40 > 0:17:42- I hope I'm better tonight.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- No-one knows what...
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- ..what a panic attack is like.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- I panicked. - I couldn't find the salad cream.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- I feel better.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11- It's good to be home.
0:18:23 > 0:18:29- For Anwen and Mick, life revolves - around hospital visits.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Today, it's Mick's turn.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- We're going up to see - the consultant.
0:18:42 > 0:18:48- Mick was meant to have an operation - in February.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54- Mick's had numerous operations - on his knee.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- None have been successful.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- The scar and the bone - are both infected now.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05- Every time he walks...
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- ..he's in excruciating pain.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- I hope they tell us today...
0:19:13 > 0:19:16- ..that it's an emergency...
0:19:16 > 0:19:22- ..and he can have - his operation soon.
0:19:23 > 0:19:28- If they examine his leg...
0:19:28 > 0:19:32- ..and find too much infection...
0:19:32 > 0:19:37- ..they have said - they might need to amputate it.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51- I think the children - are starting to realise...
0:19:51 > 0:19:54- ..the pain that he's in.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- I try to tell them...
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- ..that we can't go anywhere...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- ..because Dad is in so much pain.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07- They see their friends - going away for the day...
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- ..they go off on their holidays...
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- ..and our children do feel it.
0:20:15 > 0:20:20- We can't do anything - about the situation...
0:20:20 > 0:20:24- ..until Mick's no longer in pain.
0:20:28 > 0:20:33- When I'm 20, I want to join - the Aberystwyth fire brigade.
0:20:34 > 0:20:40- When I'm between 30 and 50, I want - to move down to Cardiff to work.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43- I want to put Mam and Dad - in a nursing home.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- I'll know they're safe.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- I want to be a fireman.
0:20:50 > 0:20:55- Sometimes, I just want my own life - but I worry about Mam and Dad.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09- The North entrance is there. - Here we go.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13- Yes.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18- I'll be in after you.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38- I'm worried about Dad, - they might amputate his leg.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42- He won't be able to walk far - - he won't be able to walk.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- That'll make it more difficult.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52- Today, I'm hoping...
0:21:52 > 0:21:57- ..they'll say - they're going to pack the leg up...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- ..in antibiotics for three months.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Then they'll give him - another knee replacement.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10- For the children, - since they were young...
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- ..Mick has been unable - to play football with them.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19- He's not been able - to kick a ball with them.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- He's not half the man he was.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- I just hope, for the sake - of the children and him...
0:22:27 > 0:22:32- ..things can change.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35- Fingers crossed.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- There's hope.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- He said, - "When do you want me to operate?"
0:22:48 > 0:22:50- "As soon as bloody possible."
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- It's gone on and on and on now.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59- "I'll try and get you as pain-free - as possible as soon as possible."
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Excellent. I'm happy.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- Very happy.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11- With antibiotics and surgery...
0:23:12 > 0:23:15- ..the doctors think - they can save Mick's leg.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- There might be renewed hope - for the future.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- I think they'll get better.
0:23:29 > 0:23:30- Hopefully.
0:23:31 > 0:23:37- Then we can make new memories - and make them better memories.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:23:56 > 0:23:56- .