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0:00:00 > 0:00:02- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:00:30 > 0:00:32- Fear knocked on the door.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34- Faith answered.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39- There was no-one there.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- My name is Irfon Williams.
0:00:55 > 0:00:56- I have cancer.
0:01:35 > 0:01:41- Monday, 28 January, 2014 - was a misty, cold and grey day.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46- I'd been expecting a call - from Meinir...
0:01:46 > 0:01:50- ..manager of Betsi Cadwaladr's - surgical department.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- The phone rang - a little after lunchtime.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57- She told me that the doctor wanted - to see me at four that afternoon.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- He wanted to give me the diagnosis.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- Walking to the office - was a rather blurry experience.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11- Becky, my wife, and I - knew Meinir well.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15- Fair play, there was - no beating about the bush...
0:02:15 > 0:02:18- ..before getting down - to the serious business.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22- Once I'd sat down, - Meinir revealed the exact diagnosis.
0:02:25 > 0:02:30- "Irfon, you have advanced bowel - cancer and metastasis in the liver."
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- The words felt the same as being - hit in the face by a frying pan.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- I got a terrible shock.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- It was as if time froze - for a second or two.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56- To be honest, I don't know - why it was such a shock.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- The news wasn't unexpected.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04- I couldn't understand - how such a thing had happened.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- I was young, - fairly fit and healthy.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- Even though it didn't help, - I couldn't help but ask...
0:03:13 > 0:03:14- ..why me?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- There is no answer to that question.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28- Why me? I don't know why me.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- It doesn't help - to take too much notice of that.
0:03:32 > 0:03:37- It's important to carry on, - to look forward.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- The reality is, - I have this condition.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- I just have to cope, - and live with it from day to day.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- I hadn't cried much at all.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Well, not with anyone but Becky.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- In the early days...
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- ..where there was uncertainty - about what would happen...
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- ..I had some very dark thoughts.
0:04:04 > 0:04:05- The nights were worst.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- Lying there, unable to sleep...
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- ..imagining what would happen - if I died.
0:04:11 > 0:04:12- Would the children be OK?
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- How would Lois, Owen and Beca cope?
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- Would Sion and Ianto remember me, - given that they were so young?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- How would Becky carry on without me?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24- How would it affect my parents?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- I'd try to answer the questions...
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- ..persuading myself - that they'd all be fine.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Becky would be more than able - to care for the boys...
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- ..and tell them stories - about me for ever.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- There were also hundreds of photos.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- Dad might struggle at first.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45- But I'm sure Becky - would maintain links...
0:04:45 > 0:04:47- ..given the value I place...
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- ..on his relationship - with Sion and Ianto especially.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- Clive would support Mam.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57- She'd know how much I'd want them - to be there for all the children.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- I'm not supposed to cry - at my own book.
0:05:28 > 0:05:34- I haven't read the book back - all that much.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39- Those thoughts come back - when you read what you have written.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42- Sorry about that.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53- What frightened me - was that the cancer had spread...
0:05:53 > 0:05:58- ..from his bowel to his liver - without any kind of symptom.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- That's frightening, somehow.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06- Irfon lost his brother - to epilepsy in 2003.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Arwyn was 30 years old.
0:06:12 > 0:06:18- When I lost my youngest son, - Arwyn, Irfon supported me.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21- He helped me in so many ways.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- I remember telling him...
0:06:24 > 0:06:29- ..that he was my rock, - the strength behind me.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- I remember him telling me - that he always would be.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- I'll still be your rock...
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- ..because I'll be there.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41- I think I know what he means - when he says that...
0:06:41 > 0:06:42- ..because...
0:06:43 > 0:06:48- ..Irfon is a special person, really.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- Maybe I shouldn't say that - about my own son...
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- ..but he was a tower of strength - for me when Arwyn died.
0:06:56 > 0:07:01- It's difficult to think - about life without him.
0:07:01 > 0:07:02- I can't.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04- I just can't...
0:07:05 > 0:07:06- ..think about it.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12- After the diagnosis, - Irfon and I decided to get married.
0:07:12 > 0:07:17- We thought it was important - to go through this...
0:07:17 > 0:07:19- ..as husband and wife.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24- In five days...
0:07:24 > 0:07:28- ..we organized a wedding.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- It was a fantastic day.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- Yes, really great.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43- Becky's a very pretty woman - and looks beautiful every day.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- But I'll never forget how I felt - when I saw her in her wedding dress.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57- A cold shiver went down my spine - and a tear came to my eye.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- How had I been so fortunate - to marry this woman...
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- ..who was beautiful - both inside and out?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- It was nice to have everyone there.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Mam and Clive were there, and Dad, - and Becky's parents, of course.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- What was really nice - was that Lois, Owen and Beca...
0:08:21 > 0:08:25- ..my children from - my first marriage, were there too...
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- ..and Sion and Ianto, - who were so excited.
0:08:28 > 0:08:33- It was a very happy occasion, - and everyone had fun together.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- I can't say it was - a really, really happy day...
0:08:55 > 0:08:56- ..as it should be.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- They were happy - and they had a wonderful day.
0:09:00 > 0:09:01- We all did.
0:09:03 > 0:09:09- But it was tinged - with sadness too, of course.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- We haven't had a honeymoon yet.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Irfon says - that when he's feeling OK...
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- ..we'll go off somewhere exotic - for our honeymoon.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23- So, I'm looking forward to that.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27- But, no.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Day to day, life is good.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36- We do as much as we can.
0:09:42 > 0:09:48- The thoughts about death - are much clearer in my mind now.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50- The boys are older
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- By now, I've had years with them.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- Ianto, you won't pick them, - but you'll still eat the crumble.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Becky and I have sat down...
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- ..and discussed the things - that are important to me...
0:10:08 > 0:10:11- ..after I die, - whenever that will be.
0:10:14 > 0:10:20- I think I'm a stronger person - emotionally now...
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- ..than I was when this started.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Obviously, there are times...
0:10:41 > 0:10:47- ..when I'm sad - or worried about what will happen.
0:10:47 > 0:10:53- But I'm much more philosophical - about it now than I was.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54- I'm...
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- I'm satisfied...
0:11:03 > 0:11:07- ..that everything will be OK - if I die, or when I die.
0:11:10 > 0:11:10- .
0:11:14 > 0:11:14- Subtitles
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:11:23 > 0:11:24- My name is Irfon Williams.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29- I've had chemotherapy...
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- ..I've had radiotherapy...
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- ..and surgery on the liver - and the bowel.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- By now, I only have - a quarter of my liver left.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49- I have to believe there's a chance - for me to beat this...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51- ..or it's all over for me.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- I'd been told about - a drug called Cetuximab...
0:12:04 > 0:12:08- ..which was effective - for some bowel cancer patients.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- Doctors in England were very keen - for me to prescribed it.
0:12:12 > 0:12:18- Unfortunately, it wasn't possible - for me to get the drug in Wales.
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- We were lucky - that I had a relative in England.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26- We were able - to use her home address.
0:12:27 > 0:12:32- As a result, it became - a political issue, in a way.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- The media took a lot of interest.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40- Good evening.
0:12:40 > 0:12:45- The First Minister has had to defend - his cancer treatment policy.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48- Irfon Williams from Bangor - has now been told...
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- ..that a so-called wonder drug - not available to Welsh patients...
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- ..has shrunk his tumours.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57- That was a very difficult period.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- He then started to ask - whether this was fair.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- The expertise or the know-how...
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- ..is there in Bangor - to be able to give this drug.
0:13:09 > 0:13:12- There's no reason - beyond that it's not funded...
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- ..that I can't have it there.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16- Irfon is a Welshman to the hilt.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22- He couldn't see why we in Wales - couldn't have the same treatment.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27- That was the start - of the Right To Live campaign.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33- # You look at my picture, - full of sympathy #
0:13:33 > 0:13:38- When Right To Live came together, - the media were very interested.
0:13:39 > 0:13:44- I was interviewed on the radio - and even on the news.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Tough questions were thrown at me.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- I was a patient, not a politician.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55- But I learnt quickly - that I had to know my facts.
0:13:56 > 0:14:02- # But I too was born - a child to my parents
0:14:02 > 0:14:09- # I've heard people say - we're all God's children
0:14:10 > 0:14:11- # I'm your brother #
0:14:11 > 0:14:16- The media had already - been in contact...
0:14:16 > 0:14:20- ..because of fundraising events - for Team Irfon.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24- But this had a different focus - because it was a political issue.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- I was glad it was happening - because it publicized the issue.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31- That was very important to us.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36- # I've seen politicians go by
0:14:38 > 0:14:43- # They shake their heads, - sad and wise
0:14:45 > 0:14:49- Celebrities then started - to support us...
0:14:50 > 0:14:53- ..and show an interest in it.
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- They supported us - by holding our poster up...
0:14:58 > 0:15:02- ..and expressing strong feelings - about the matter.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- I was a school friend - of Robin McBryde.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- He helped to secure - the Welsh rugby team's support.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- They wore Right To Live shirts - before one game.
0:15:15 > 0:15:20- Welsh football players - supported us.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- Support came - from across the world...
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- ..and not just from famous faces.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40- It was just incredible, in a way, - how big it all got.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48- I was in hospital in Liverpool...
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- ..when I got a phone call - from a radio station.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- They told me, in confidence...
0:15:54 > 0:15:59- ..that there'd be an announcement - the following morning...
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- ..that Cetuximab was going - to be made available in Wales.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- That was great news for me.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10- I felt strongly that the campaign - had influenced that decision.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- Since then, loads of people - have been in touch...
0:16:15 > 0:16:17- ..or come up to shake my hand...
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- ..to say what a difference - having the drug has made to them.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- It just makes me think - how many people didn't have it.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- Without the campaign, - that wouldn't have happened.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35- # Why don't I too - have the right to live
0:16:36 > 0:16:41- # The right to live #
0:16:46 > 0:16:50- # Happy birthday to you
0:16:50 > 0:16:55- # Happy birthday to you #
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- It's 9 July, my birthday.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01- I'm 46 years old this year.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- I was 43 - when I got the cancer diagnosis.
0:17:09 > 0:17:14- At that time, no-one knew - how many more birthdays I'd see.
0:17:15 > 0:17:20- It was very important for me - that I celebrated every day...
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- ..but especially every birthday.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40- The cancer has given me - an exceptional challenge.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46- Despite the operations, - it has come back countless times.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- When a doctor tells you...
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- ..there's a chance - you won't survive...
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- ..it isn't easy to take, naturally.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- Conversely, - it makes you think more about life.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Enjoy every day.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05- Enjoy the little things.
0:18:08 > 0:18:13- It's important for me - to enjoy the time that I have...
0:18:14 > 0:18:15- ..not just for me...
0:18:16 > 0:18:21- ..but to provide memories - for the children and for Becky.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Before the last operation...
0:18:28 > 0:18:31- ..I was told there was a chance - I wouldn't pull through.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37- Before I went into the theatre, - Becky and I said our goodbyes.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40- That was difficult.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45- I said goodbye - to the older children too.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47- I explained to them...
0:18:49 > 0:18:52- ..that Dad - was undergoing more surgery...
0:18:52 > 0:18:55- ..and that it was possible - that I would die.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- They handled it very well.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59- We had a family meal out.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- I won't hide the fact - that it was quite upsetting.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09- The morning I went to Liverpool...
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- ..to have the operation, - saying ta-ra to the little boys.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16- That was very difficult.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- But I didn't show them that I...
0:19:21 > 0:19:25- At the time, I was determined - that I would be coming home.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- I had to think that way, - to be strong for myself.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35- Before going into the theatre - to have the operation...
0:19:36 > 0:19:42- ..he told me that he would be - seeing me afterwards.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- That he would be alright, - but there was...
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- I was afraid...
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- ..that I wouldn't see him again.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- The operation lasted 14 hours.
0:19:59 > 0:20:04- After removing two tumours, only - a quarter of Irfon's liver remained.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13- It was really difficult - to see him like that.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18- I was praying over the bed.
0:20:27 > 0:20:32- Following the surgery, Irfon - was in hospital for three months.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- # My life has been shot down
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- # I'm not ready to fall
0:20:42 > 0:20:47- Today, we're at Snowdon Rocks - with Mike Peters and Jules Peters...
0:20:47 > 0:20:51- ..raising money for Alaw Ward and - the Love Hope Strength Foundation.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- We're all walking up Snowdon...
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- ..and singing on the way.
0:20:59 > 0:21:04- A train is coming up - carrying cancer patients.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Irfon's coming up on the train - with the boys.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11- I can't wait to see him at the top.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16- # Irfon, let me tell you, - is hard at work
0:21:16 > 0:21:21- # Irfon, let me tell you, - is hard at work #
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- # Men Of Harlech #
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- So, how is the big man?
0:21:30 > 0:21:31- So, how is the big man?- - He's really, really well.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- He's really turned a corner.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- In the last four weeks, - he's gained some strength.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- He's put more weight on.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Obviously, he had lost so much.
0:21:41 > 0:21:46- Then, getting over all the trauma.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- Ending up in CCU, nearly - not making it through the night.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Coming to terms - with all that as well.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- I think we have to stay strong - to support them.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- People say to you, - "How do you cope?"
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- You just do. There's no choice.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06- If there's one positive thing - from cancer...
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- ..it makes you - appreciate life so much more.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12- Life becomes even sweeter, I think.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32- Hey, Irfon. Look at you.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33- Bang!
0:22:33 > 0:22:34- Bang!- - Alright, mate?
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- Good. You?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38- Good. You?- - I thought you were shattered.
0:22:38 > 0:22:43- Efs, how are you? I saw you at the - Eisteddfod, playing guitar with Dad.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45- It was cool. Did you enjoy it?
0:22:45 > 0:22:46- Very good.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- You've been in the wars, - haven't you?
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- I had the op in March.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- I'm just getting over that. - I've still got a drain in.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57- I'm much stronger now.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00- I've got scans in a month, - then take it from there.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- I'm feeling good, but it's tiring.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- I'm feeling good, but it's tiring.- - You're doing brilliantly.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- You feel as if - you want to go too quick.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11- You're showing people how they - can get through these things.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15- We're both living with it, - and that's they key.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16- I'll catch you later.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- I'll catch you later.- - See you tonight, Irfon.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19- Take it easy.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21- Take it easy.- - And you, mate. Brilliant.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23- Ef, fist bumps!
0:23:24 > 0:23:25- See you later.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26- Cheers, Irfon.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29- Put your arms up in the air, please.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31- Hooray!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- And enjoy!
0:23:38 > 0:23:38- .
0:23:40 > 0:23:40- Subtitles
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- I've worked in the field - of mental health all my life.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- Now that I'm on the other side, - I know what it is to suffer.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33- I've set up a company - called Hanner Llawn (Half Full).
0:24:33 > 0:24:38- The subject of mental health - is extremely important to me.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43- That's why I talk to children, - young people and adults...
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- ..promoting mental health.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48- Good afternoon.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50- Are you all OK?
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- Is it nice - to be out of the classroom?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55- My name's Irfon.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56- Irfon Williams.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58- Some of you may know me.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02- I'm here to talk about a subject...
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- ..that people don't discuss much.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- That subject is mental health.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Do you know what mental health is?
0:25:13 > 0:25:14- No?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- Do you know what stress is?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19- You all know what stress is.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20- OK.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- Do the teachers know what stress is?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- Do you create stress for teachers?!
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- Or do they cause stress for you?
0:25:30 > 0:25:31- I thought as much!
0:25:32 > 0:25:37- I wanted to create a company - where I could share experiences.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- This gives me a huge buzz.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- It's something - about which I feel strongly.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47- Mental health.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52- Being able to go out and discuss - mental health with the public.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57- With people who live under stress - from day to day.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00- It affects us all.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08- We must get rid of the stigma - associated with mental health.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- I feel that the way to do so - is by talking about it.
0:26:13 > 0:26:18- I hope that my work - will help to reduce that stigma.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21- SOUND OF BREAKING WIND
0:26:22 > 0:26:25- Excuse me. I have to explain - the sound of breaking wind.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- I have a colostomy - because I've been ill.
0:26:28 > 0:26:33- It happens with no warning, and it's - a bit rude, so please excuse me!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35- Some of you may know.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- Two years ago, I got cancer.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40- Bowel cancer.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44- As a result, - I had a section of my bowel removed.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Unfortunately, - that meant they had to move...
0:26:48 > 0:26:51- ..where my body got rid of waste.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- I now have a hole in my stomach, - and a bag.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58- The wind comes from there, - and I can't control it.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00- She thinks it's hilarious!
0:27:03 > 0:27:06- When it happens at home, - my kids think it's hilarious too.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11- They come to this school, and they - laugh out loud when it happens.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16- Thank you for coming today. - I'm sure we've all learnt a lot.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- We'll all remember - the three important words.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23- I'm sure everyone enjoyed it.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35- Sion!
0:27:36 > 0:27:37- Ready, Nel?
0:27:39 > 0:27:40- Go, Nel!
0:27:41 > 0:27:42- Very good.
0:27:42 > 0:27:43- Ready?
0:27:43 > 0:27:44- Go!
0:27:45 > 0:27:47- Rugby has always been - close to my heart.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51- I've been with the coaching team - here for years.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59- I'm better now, and ready - for more treatment next week.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- I've looked forward - to this operation for a while.
0:28:03 > 0:28:08- I wasn't sure it would happen, - but they're reversing the colostomy.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12- That's great, - and one less thing to worry about.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16- It's a matter of dignity.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20- It can sometimes leak, - it can burst.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24- It has happened to me in social - situations, which wasn't nice.
0:28:29 > 0:28:34- I'm looking forward - to sitting on the toilet again...
0:28:34 > 0:28:38- ..and having somewhere - where I can read the paper in peace.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51- The operation isn't a success.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58- He learns that the cancer - has spread further.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04- We got the news on Monday...
0:29:04 > 0:29:08- ..that the cancer has spread.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12- I've had two days...
0:29:13 > 0:29:15- ..of feeling very sad.
0:29:16 > 0:29:17- Very low, to be honest...
0:29:19 > 0:29:21- ..with the boys at school.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25- I just lay in bed...
0:29:25 > 0:29:28- ..feeling scared, I think.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31- I'm afraid of what's to come.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33- But...
0:29:34 > 0:29:36- ..I looked in the mirror...
0:29:36 > 0:29:38- ..and thought to myself, come on!
0:29:40 > 0:29:41- Hello!
0:29:45 > 0:29:47- Are you alright, boys?
0:29:47 > 0:29:49- Dad, can I use your...
0:29:50 > 0:29:52- Can I have a kiss first?!
0:29:58 > 0:29:59- Ooh, nice to see you.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02- Straight for the sweets!
0:30:06 > 0:30:08- This is how my stomach looks now.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- I have an open scar here...
0:30:15 > 0:30:16- ..and another one here.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20- The wounds are packed - with dressings daily.
0:30:20 > 0:30:27- I've got a drain here - for whatever collects there.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29- Blood and what have you.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34- These are old scars - from previous operations.
0:30:35 > 0:30:40- It's a bit uncomfortable, - but it's less painful than it was...
0:30:40 > 0:30:42- ..two, three, four days ago.
0:30:43 > 0:30:44- There we are.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46- I look like a pregnant man.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55- Christmas 2016
0:30:56 > 0:30:59- The cancer - has now spread to the lungs.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11- After the last operation...
0:31:12 > 0:31:14- ..I felt very strongly...
0:31:15 > 0:31:16- ..that I wasn't sure...
0:31:17 > 0:31:20- ..if I could go through - being so ill again.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26- I was offered an operation - on both lungs...
0:31:27 > 0:31:30- ..to remove the cancer, the tumours.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36- That would mean two spells - of being ill again...
0:31:36 > 0:31:40- ..because they could only treat - one lung at a time.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45- There's no guarantee...
0:31:45 > 0:31:50- ..that the surgery - would get rid of the cancer.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55- It has also spread - to other parts of my body.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58- The stomach and so on.
0:32:00 > 0:32:01- Of course...
0:32:02 > 0:32:05- ..it's important for me to accept...
0:32:07 > 0:32:13- ..that I'm not going - to get rid of the cancer now.
0:32:19 > 0:32:20- Cool!
0:32:22 > 0:32:24- It's difficult at times.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26- I do get emotional sometimes...
0:32:27 > 0:32:30- ..especially when I do things - with the children.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- Sausages!
0:32:35 > 0:32:40- Sion asked if he could read me - a story the other day.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43- It was a story about two bears.
0:32:44 > 0:32:47- A father and son, - saying that they loved each other.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52- At the end, Sion said, - "That's how I feel about you, Dad."
0:32:52 > 0:32:55- That hit me straight away.
0:32:57 > 0:32:58- That...
0:33:01 > 0:33:05- ..the future for the boys - will be one without a father.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08- But, on the other hand...
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- ..I'm in no hurry to go.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14- I'm healthy in myself.
0:33:14 > 0:33:19- I'm not suffering any symptoms - from the tumours that I have.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22- I've got over - the last surgery, again...
0:33:24 > 0:33:26- ..even though I was very ill.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29- I think that my strength...
0:33:30 > 0:33:33- ..will help to keep me alive - for quite a while...
0:33:34 > 0:33:39- ..or at least long enough - to enjoy a lot more things in life.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42- Time with all my children...
0:33:44 > 0:33:47- ..extended family, - friends and so on.
0:33:47 > 0:33:51- I now live to enjoy every day.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55- I'm planning fun things to do...
0:33:56 > 0:33:58- ..big and small.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00- Things I've always wanted to do.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04- There's nothing overly major.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06- I'm happy with my life.
0:34:06 > 0:34:09- I've had great experiences - during my life.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13- I've achieved things - that some people wouldn't achieve...
0:34:13 > 0:34:15- ..if they lived to be a hundred.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18- I'm grateful for that.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24- The most important thing - is to remember...
0:34:27 > 0:34:33- ..even that there's no possibility - that I'll recover from cancer now...
0:34:34 > 0:34:38- ..is that I've given it - quite a hammering.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42- I've raised awareness of it.
0:34:47 > 0:34:48- In the future, I hope...
0:34:50 > 0:34:53- ..that my work will help others...
0:34:53 > 0:34:55- ..who are suffering.
0:35:00 > 0:35:01- Sorry.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03- Not at all.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14- Here's your blackberry tart.
0:35:14 > 0:35:15- Yeah!
0:35:16 > 0:35:18- OK, made by my own hand.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30- I know it's always important - to get together...
0:35:30 > 0:35:33- ..but it was even more so for me - this Christmas...
0:35:33 > 0:35:35- ..given all that's happened.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39- Not that I want - to be morbid or anything...
0:35:40 > 0:35:42- ..but the way I feel now...
0:35:42 > 0:35:45- ..we'll have to do it again - next Christmas!
0:35:45 > 0:35:48- It's been nice - to have everyone together.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51- It's nice for you...
0:35:51 > 0:35:53- Did you see what I put on Facebook?
0:35:55 > 0:35:56- All the children.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- All the children.- - I love having all five together.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04- It doesn't happen very often.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07- OK, Ianto Huw?
0:36:09 > 0:36:10- Don't play it yet.
0:36:11 > 0:36:12- Good boy.
0:36:12 > 0:36:13- Have you had pudding?
0:36:13 > 0:36:15- Have you had pudding?
0:36:15 > 0:36:17- There are cakes in there.
0:36:21 > 0:36:22- They love it.
0:36:22 > 0:36:23- They love it.- - Yes.
0:36:23 > 0:36:27- It's nice to put it on Facebook.
0:36:27 > 0:36:32- People realize - that you interact with us all.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36- It is nice, because they often - only see Sion and Ianto.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41- Even though you're older, - this affects you, Owen and Beca.
0:36:41 > 0:36:46- It's different for us - because we don't live with you.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49- We have to make the most - of the time we have together.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53- Make an effort to get together more - over the coming months.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57- It'll be really nice - to spend time with the family.
0:36:57 > 0:36:58- Nain loves it too.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01- Nain loves it too.- - When she's not stressing!
0:37:02 > 0:37:04- I won't tell her you said that.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09- Nain used to chew bread - for ducks with no teeth.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15- Can you please - put your hands together...
0:37:15 > 0:37:18- ..for the cook who has cooked - all that food for you?
0:37:30 > 0:37:31- .
0:37:33 > 0:37:33- Subtitles
0:37:33 > 0:37:35- Subtitles- - Subtitles
0:38:27 > 0:38:29- We've just arrived in Rome.
0:38:29 > 0:38:34- We're here for the weekend, - mainly to watch the rugby.
0:38:34 > 0:38:38- I'm looking forward - to the game on Sunday.
0:38:39 > 0:38:45- Hopefully, this won't be - the wooden spoon decider.
0:38:47 > 0:38:49- The Colosseum is on the left.
0:38:50 > 0:38:56- Daf Wyn's fighting tigers there - after a few Jagerbombs tomorrow.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09- I hoped we could come.
0:39:09 > 0:39:15- I've been in hospital again recently - having a drain in the liver...
0:39:15 > 0:39:17- ..because I had jaundice.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20- I'm still a bit yellow, - but it's much better.
0:39:21 > 0:39:22- But the drain's still in.
0:39:22 > 0:39:27- On Monday, I saw Mr Malik's team - in Liverpool, at Aintree.
0:39:27 > 0:39:33- They did say that it would be - better if I didn't come...
0:39:33 > 0:39:37- ..but under the circumstances, - given that I'm well in myself...
0:39:37 > 0:39:40- ..and determined anyway...
0:39:40 > 0:39:45- ..they gave me the okay, - as long as I took my medication...
0:39:45 > 0:39:48- ..and antibiotics - in case I got an infection...
0:39:48 > 0:39:50- ..and it should all be OK.
0:39:50 > 0:39:55- # A clean heart - o'erflow'd with goodness
0:39:57 > 0:40:00- # Fairer than the lily bright
0:40:01 > 0:40:06- # A clean heart forever singing
0:40:06 > 0:40:13- # Singing through - the day and night #
0:40:18 > 0:40:20- It says we're going to pass...
0:40:21 > 0:40:24- ..the first statue - that depicts a woman's orgasm.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29- What does that look like then?
0:41:03 > 0:41:06- Going away to watch the rugby - was special.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09- There's something exceptional - about Rome.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14- The last time we were here, - Becky was expecting Ianto.
0:41:15 > 0:41:16- We had a great weekend.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25- I'm so lucky - that Becky is so supportive.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28- I don't know - where I'd be without her.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34- She's been a rock.
0:41:34 > 0:41:35- She's so strong.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38- That makes me stronger in turn.
0:41:41 > 0:41:44- Three years have passed - since we got married.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46- They haven't been easy.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52- When we met and fell in love...
0:41:52 > 0:41:56- ..I remember talking a lot - about growing old together.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01- About watching the boys growing up - and making plans.
0:42:01 > 0:42:05- Discussing what we'd do - during our lives.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09- No-one expects illness to strike.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25- I sometimes feel that it's harder - for Becky than for me.
0:42:26 > 0:42:27- I see her pain sometimes...
0:42:28 > 0:42:30- ..and it breaks my heart.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37- Thank you, Becky.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39- Thanks for everything.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43- I love you - more than you'll ever know.
0:43:01 > 0:43:09- # A clean heart - o'erflow'd with goodness
0:43:09 > 0:43:16- # Fairer than the lily bright
0:43:16 > 0:43:23- # A clean heart forever singing
0:43:23 > 0:43:33- # Singing through - the day and night
0:43:34 > 0:43:44- # Amen #
0:43:47 > 0:43:48- Well done.
0:43:49 > 0:43:51- Good health, boys!
0:44:26 > 0:44:29- There's no better feeling - than walking into a stadium...
0:44:30 > 0:44:34- ..and seeing all the Welsh fans - singing and having a good time.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37- The hairs on the back of my neck - stand up.
0:44:38 > 0:44:39- It's a great feeling.
0:44:40 > 0:44:41- Oggi oggi oggi!
0:44:41 > 0:44:42- Oggi oggi oggi!- - Oi oi oi!
0:44:46 > 0:44:49- There's a lot of passion - in the game.
0:44:49 > 0:44:50- A pride in being Welsh.
0:44:52 > 0:44:56- Joy at being a part - of one big rugby family.
0:45:12 > 0:45:14- Wales 33 Italy 7.
0:45:30 > 0:45:35- The Trevi Fountain is beautiful, - especially lit up at night.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39- I remember coming here last time.
0:45:39 > 0:45:43- Throwing a coin into the water - is supposed to bring you luck...
0:45:43 > 0:45:46- ..and ensures - that you'll return to Rome.
0:45:46 > 0:45:48- And here I am, back in Rome.
0:45:53 > 0:45:54- Maybe I'll be back again.
0:45:54 > 0:45:55- Who knows?
0:45:59 > 0:46:02- But I could definitely do - with a little bit of luck.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24- You never know. - Miracles might happen.
0:47:34 > 0:47:39- A special thank you - to Irfon and his family.
0:47:39 > 0:47:41- S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.
0:47:41 > 0:47:41- .