0:00:21 > 0:00:26Hello. As anyone aware of the recent spate of copycat teddy bear
0:00:26 > 0:00:29eye-gougings will know, it's Children in Need time again.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Here at Only Connect we like to do our bit,
0:00:32 > 0:00:33and this year it was a raffle -
0:00:33 > 0:00:36incredibly loss-making as it turned out,
0:00:36 > 0:00:39so now we have to do a quiz to make up for it. Please give generously -
0:00:39 > 0:00:42at the moment, we're causing net harm.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45As always, a brilliant selection of special guest quizzers
0:00:45 > 0:00:49has come along to help us with this endeavour. And tonight they are,
0:00:49 > 0:00:51on my right,
0:00:51 > 0:00:53novelist, journalist and radio presenter,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56currently co-hosting the breakfast show on BBC Radio 3,
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Clemency Burton-Hill.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Award-winning novelist
0:01:00 > 0:01:04with a PhD in 18th-century painting and satire, Philip Hensher.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06And their captain, also a novelist -
0:01:06 > 0:01:09no PhD but he does have a double first from Cambridge
0:01:09 > 0:01:13so he might at least understand the questions, comedian David Baddiel.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Philip has written an opera libretto and a novel about a composer,
0:01:16 > 0:01:18David has co-written and sung on a pop song
0:01:18 > 0:01:21that was number one on three separate occasions,
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Clemency is a violinist and presenter of the BBC's foremost music channel.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27They are the Music Monkeys.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29David, are you confident about tonight?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31No, absolutely not.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33As I think I said when you asked me to do this show
0:01:33 > 0:01:35I am the wrong type of clever.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37That's me trying to preserve my self-esteem.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Because I just don't think I have the mind for this at all.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43But luckily, I have two people with me
0:01:43 > 0:01:46who I know are going to back me up and sort that out for me.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Well, I hope you're right.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Clemency, our quizzers always dread the music question,
0:01:51 > 0:01:53but presumably you're super-confident - a strong area for you?
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Well, I wouldn't say that - the musical highlight of my life was singing David's Three Lions
0:01:57 > 0:02:00at Wembley in 1996, it's all been downhill since then
0:02:00 > 0:02:03but I'm hoping that maybe tonight's the night
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I'm going to rescale some musical heights.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Philip, 18th-century art clearly a strong point for you -
0:02:08 > 0:02:10what do you hope WON'T come up?
0:02:10 > 0:02:15Well, I've never been able to sort out which Kardashian is which.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19That and Western European history I don't really know about.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Those are the two areas to avoid. We'll see. Nothing is safe.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26You are facing tonight, on my left,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28playwright, novelist and critic,
0:02:28 > 0:02:31former deputy chair of the British Museum, Bonnie Greer.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Newspaper columnist
0:02:33 > 0:02:36and author of works of biography and popular history, AN Wilson.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38And their captain, actor, writer and comedian
0:02:38 > 0:02:42with a first-class degree in geography, Hugh Dennis.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Hugh's father is a bishop,
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Bonnie is called "queen", a street slang for a sexy older woman,
0:02:47 > 0:02:51and AN Wilson will surely one day be a knight - they are the Chess Pieces.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Hugh, you and David go back a long way,
0:02:53 > 0:02:56The Mary Whitehouse Experience and you were at university together -
0:02:56 > 0:02:59which of you do you think will be the better quizzer?
0:02:59 > 0:03:03I think for all his protestations about being rubbish at this,
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I think he will be the better quizzer,
0:03:05 > 0:03:09but out of the two of us I will be better under questioning.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14- That's true.- Don't you think? - Yeah, I would give in straight away.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15I'll tell you anything you want to know.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Bonnie, we've had phases in the past
0:03:17 > 0:03:20where quizzers come along and
0:03:20 > 0:03:22if they have an American or Australian on the team
0:03:22 > 0:03:24they fall down when it comes to popular culture.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Do you worry about that, or have you lived here
0:03:27 > 0:03:29long enough that you're fully on top of Blue Peter and Girls Aloud?
0:03:29 > 0:03:31It's all American at the end of the day.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33All culture?
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Absolutely.
0:03:34 > 0:03:35We'll find that out.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36Now, AN Wilson,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39you've written biographies of Hilaire Belloc, Milton and Jesus -
0:03:39 > 0:03:42clearly you have range. Are you a quizzer?
0:03:42 > 0:03:46I thought you were going to say, would they be good on a quiz show?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48But no, I don't think I'm particularly good
0:03:48 > 0:03:52at quizzes, as you're about to find out. But I do have range.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54- Excellent. - I have breadth and no depth.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Self-effacing noises all round. We'll find out.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Very bravely these quizzers are giving their time in hope of
0:04:02 > 0:04:05inspiring you to give something to the BBC appeal for Children in Need,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08helping to make a positive change to the lives of children
0:04:08 > 0:04:10and young people in the UK.
0:04:10 > 0:04:17If you feel you can make a donation, go to the website and click Donate:
0:04:17 > 0:04:20But for now, let's alleviate suffering by causing suffering -
0:04:20 > 0:04:24yes, it's the quiz, you can't get out of it - Chess Pieces, you won the toss,
0:04:24 > 0:04:26so you'll be going first.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32- Erm...Two Reeds?- Yes. - Two Reeds, please.
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Two Reeds.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35I want to know, what is the connection
0:04:35 > 0:04:38between four apparently random clues?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40First clue coming up now.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Next.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Crikey...
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- Next.- I don't know what these are.
0:04:50 > 0:04:5211...
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- 11.- 11? OK. Erm...
0:05:00 > 0:05:02Well, it might be 11 then. Is it?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Shall we have a go?- Yes, try it.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07BELL
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Do you have an answer?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Well, I think the link is 11.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Coming in after three clues for 2,
0:05:12 > 0:05:14things that go up to 11.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18You didn't need to see the last clue, Spinal Tap's guitar amplifier.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19I assume you got it
0:05:19 > 0:05:21at spacetime dimensions(?)
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Of course, we all got it at that.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25I'm more familiar with N-theory, but...
0:05:25 > 0:05:27There was a weird gap in spacetime
0:05:27 > 0:05:29before they answered the question!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31CHESS PIECES LAUGH
0:05:31 > 0:05:33I noticed, Mr Wilson,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35you saying 11 at clue 3. You a cricketer?
0:05:35 > 0:05:36I like watching it,
0:05:36 > 0:05:39but I was pretty hopeless at playing it in school days.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41You played for England.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Well, I know, but...sprezzatura,
0:05:43 > 0:05:45I brush these things off.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Very well done, you're
0:05:46 > 0:05:47off the blocks with 2 points.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Music Monkeys, your turn
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- for a question.- Eye of Horus, please.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54The Eye of Horus. What is the connection between these clues?
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Here's the first.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59OK. Next.
0:06:00 > 0:06:021989...
0:06:02 > 0:06:04OK...
0:06:04 > 0:06:05Beagle...
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- Did he come back again?- He resigned then he came back I think.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Did Beagle 2 reappear? - Might have done, yeah.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Three...
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- Next.- Next. Not "Three".
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- Oh, yeah...- Was he...
0:06:17 > 0:06:18So, people who...
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Yes. Comeback kids.- Who came...
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Comeback kings?
0:06:22 > 0:06:23Did he...? William I, did he...?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25- I don't... Mm.- Shall we have a go?
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Next. have next.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Oh...
0:06:31 > 0:06:33- WHEN did they happen? - On Christmas Day.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Two seconds... BELL
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Did they all happen...
0:06:37 > 0:06:38- on Christmas Day?- Wow.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Yes, pulling it out of the bag on the last minute -
0:06:41 > 0:06:43all happened on Christmas Day.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45The word "Christmas" helped.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46in the clue.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47Christmas Day of 1066
0:06:47 > 0:06:49William I was crowned,
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Gorbachev resigned in 1990...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- ..1?- 1991. Beagle 2
0:06:54 > 0:06:56was supposed to land on Mars
0:06:56 > 0:06:57at Christmas 2003 but it disappeared.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59All happened on Christmas Day.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Chess Pieces, your turn.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03- Lion.- Lion.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05What is the connection between these close?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Here's the first.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Next.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Oh, it's Opera, isn't it?
0:07:16 > 0:07:17Next.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21Elvira is in erm...
0:07:21 > 0:07:25- There are...- They're arias. Aren't they?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28They're operatic arias.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29BELL
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Operatic arias.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33I need to hear something else.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- Operatic arias after a death? - Dreams. They're dead.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Not it, I'm afraid. I'm going to show
0:07:39 > 0:07:40the fourth to the Music Monkeys
0:07:40 > 0:07:42for a possible bonus point.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44It's not dreams, awaking from dreams...?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46That's not it either - technically
0:07:46 > 0:07:50these are operatic mad scenes.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53And in Verdi's Macbeth it's the sleepwalking of Lady Macbeth,
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Marie Antoinette, The Ghosts Of Versailles, Corigliano.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Elvira imagines herself married -
0:07:59 > 0:08:00which opera's that,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02anybody know?
0:08:02 > 0:08:03Is it Trovatore?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05- It's Bellini's Puritani.- Oh.
0:08:05 > 0:08:06Bonnie, have you written
0:08:06 > 0:08:08an opera about Nick Griffin?
0:08:08 > 0:08:12It was about being on Question Time.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15And it was about people talking about it
0:08:15 > 0:08:17and so forth - he wasn't in it at all.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19It would have been a mad scene if he was.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20Definitely.
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Yes, one long mad scene,
0:08:21 > 0:08:23- I imagine.- Yes, very mad.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25So you're all in the right area,
0:08:25 > 0:08:26but no points.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Music Monkeys, your own question.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30- Water.- Water, please.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32MUSICAL CHIME Ah. It's the music question -
0:08:32 > 0:08:34should be a good one for you, Music Monkeys.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37You'll be hearing these clues -
0:08:37 > 0:08:39shout "Next" to hear another one.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40Here's the first.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43LUSH CLASSICAL PIECE
0:08:45 > 0:08:49- It's the Dance Of The Seven Veils... - Yes.- OK. Next.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52# This helmet I suppose
0:08:52 > 0:08:55- # Was meant to ward off foes... # - Is it Gilbert and Sullivan?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57# It's very hot and weighs a lot... #
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Oh, it's about executions.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02- Do you think?- Yeah. - I think we should go for that.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Let's go for it. - BELL
0:09:04 > 0:09:07OK, they all involve executions.
0:09:07 > 0:09:08Beheadings.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Oh, dear... Now, that is a very brave gamble
0:09:10 > 0:09:12but unfortunately had you heard
0:09:12 > 0:09:15the next clues you would have known
0:09:15 > 0:09:18that can't possibly apply. Sorry,
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I'm going to have to play
0:09:20 > 0:09:22a snatch of the last two pieces
0:09:22 > 0:09:23to the Chess Pieces...
0:09:23 > 0:09:25# Go over there
0:09:25 > 0:09:27# Turn on the light
0:09:27 > 0:09:29# No... #
0:09:29 > 0:09:32BRASSY BURLESQUE TUNE
0:09:32 > 0:09:36- ..Take your clothes off. Get your clothes...- It's clothes.
0:09:36 > 0:09:37They're taking clothes off.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Are they all taking clothes off?
0:09:39 > 0:09:40They all involve
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- the removal of clothing.- Of clothes.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Good musical knowledge.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45You get a bonus point -
0:09:45 > 0:09:47well done, Chess Pieces.
0:09:47 > 0:09:48And your own question?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Horned Viper.- The Horned Viper.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53What is the connection between these clues?
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Here's the first.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Next.
0:09:59 > 0:10:00THEY MUTTER
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Next.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- I don't know what that is.- Next.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12- Homer Simpson's...- Yellow.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Are they all yellow?
0:10:13 > 0:10:17These are films, something to do with the director. These are films.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- What?- These are films. That's the Yakuza.
0:10:20 > 0:10:21These are films.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Yeah, these are films.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Are they all films...?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28INDISTINCT CONFERRING
0:10:28 > 0:10:30- Quick, need an answer. - BELL
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Oh, they're films, they're film directors.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39No, although I'd certainly like to see a film directed by Frodo Baggins.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Music Monkeys, for a bonus.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43We think it's to do with fingers.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46It's to do with how many fingers you have and they all have less fingers,
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- so...- That's enough,
0:10:48 > 0:10:50it's to do with missing fingers.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Yes, what can you tell me
0:10:51 > 0:10:53about the particular clues?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Well, we got it on Homer Simpson's hands,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58because he has three fingers, does he?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Frodo loses a finger when
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- what's his name bites it off. - Gollum.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Transgressing Yakuza members -
0:11:04 > 0:11:06must be a punishment.
0:11:06 > 0:11:07What is a Yakuza member?
0:11:07 > 0:11:08We don't even know what that is.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Yakuza - Japanese mafia.
0:11:10 > 0:11:11The tip of the little finger...
0:11:11 > 0:11:12I can answer the Kit Kat one.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14You eat the Kit Kat
0:11:14 > 0:11:15and it's got fewer fingers.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16Completely right.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18The bonus point goes to the Music Monkeys.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21You will also get the last question of the round, the Twisted Flax.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23I expect these are going to be picture clues,
0:11:23 > 0:11:24cos we haven't had them yet.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27What connects these pictures? Here's the first.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30OK. Next.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Is it something to do with Toy Story?
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Next.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- OK, what is that? Filing cabinet? - Library catalogue?
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Can we see the fourth?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48OK, let's see the fourth. Next.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Basque.- Basque?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Doll, bear...
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Basque. Is it Basque?
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Two seconds.- Basque.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, no, you're out of time.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Chess Pieces, do you want to have
0:12:05 > 0:12:07a go for a bonus point?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Is it, like, teddy, basque...
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Is it kind of items of female...
0:12:12 > 0:12:13you know, underwear?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15It is undergarments.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17I am wearing all of them
0:12:17 > 0:12:19as we speak in a size extra-large.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- Dear, dear, dear.- Baby doll, teddy,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23drawers and basque. Undergarments.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Well done for the bonus point.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27So that means, at the end of Round One,
0:12:27 > 0:12:31the Music Monkeys have two points, the Chess Pieces have four.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Before we play Round Two, a quick reminder of why we're here.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Every pound you donate to BBC Children In Need
0:12:40 > 0:12:43will support projects helping disadvantaged children
0:12:43 > 0:12:45all across the UK. If you'd like to make a donation,
0:12:45 > 0:12:48please visit the Children In Need website at...
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Please do give something if you can. Every penny counts.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Round Two, the sequences round.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59There are still four clues, but you may only see a maximum
0:12:59 > 0:13:02of three of them, because I want to know what comes fourth.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Chess Pieces, you'll be going first again.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Which hieroglyph would you like?
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- Your go.- Water.- Water.- Water.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10OK, what would come fourth
0:13:10 > 0:13:11in this sequence?
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Here's the first.
0:13:14 > 0:13:15Next.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23To rub shoulders?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Next.- Next.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Bee's knees.- So it goes "rub shoulders", "bee's knees"...
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Talking head. - So it's toes, isn't it?
0:13:36 > 0:13:37- It's toes.- Toes or feet, yes.
0:13:39 > 0:13:40It'll be toes or feet.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Well, it's got to be something about...
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- ..teeny.- Talking head...
0:13:46 > 0:13:48BELL
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Toes or feet.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Teeny.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Teeny for what reason?- Teeny toes.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55We went with "twinkle",
0:13:55 > 0:13:57but something that could precede toes
0:13:57 > 0:14:02- and why?- Because it's "talking head", "to rub shoulders", "bee's knees"...
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Down the body.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06That's right, according to the song
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Head, Shoulders, Knees And Toes.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Simple as that.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Music Monkeys, what would you like?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Two Reeds, please.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15OK, what would come fourth...
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Oh, dear, this is a nasty one.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Please don't say that!
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Two Reeds it is, I'm afraid.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21We're losing as it is.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24What comes fourth in this sequence?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Here's the first.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- Ebbsfleet.- What is that?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- Oh, God.- It's one of those things... - Next.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39New towns? New towns?
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Ebbsfleet, I think it's a new town, yeah.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Next.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Yeah, these are all new towns.
0:14:48 > 0:14:55- The last wave of new towns.- I would say Welwyn Garden City.- Go on.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56- OK. - BELL
0:14:56 > 0:15:01Well, it's new towns and presumably the historical chronology
0:15:01 > 0:15:05of new towns and we think the first wave will be Welwyn Garden City.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07We chose beautiful Bracknell,
0:15:07 > 0:15:09but I will accept first wave,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11e.g., Welwyn Garden City.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12Very well done.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14What else might I have taken?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- Hampstead Garden Suburb.- Letchworth.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17I have to say, Victoria,
0:15:17 > 0:15:19that's the dullest question
0:15:19 > 0:15:20I've ever had to answer.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22We've given you one! You really want another one?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Hang on for the end of the show!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Cumbernauld. Peterlee.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29You are a geography scholar, I believe.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Yes, I did new towns.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33What was your dissertation?
0:15:33 > 0:15:34My dissertation was on
0:15:34 > 0:15:35the spatial distribution
0:15:35 > 0:15:37of elementary education
0:15:37 > 0:15:39in 19th century Wakefield.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40- Excellent(!)- The dullest dissertation
0:15:40 > 0:15:42anyone's ever done.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I think we've got a question on that coming up,
0:15:44 > 0:15:45so hold on to your hats.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47But well done, non-geographers,
0:15:47 > 0:15:49you got the points, very good.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Chess Pieces, it is your turn
0:15:50 > 0:15:51to choose a hieroglyph.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Eye of Horus.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54The Eye of Horus.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56What would come fourth in this sequence?
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Here's the first.
0:16:00 > 0:16:01Next.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- They're plays.- Hmm...
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Wait, wait... - BELL
0:16:08 > 0:16:09Oh, dear.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11What would come fourth in this sequence?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Shakespeare plays, so it's fifth, fourth.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Four, two. Henry IV: 2.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Henry IV: 2 is the right answer.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Coming in after two clues,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22you get three points.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- Well done, sir. - Very well done, Mr Wilson.
0:16:24 > 0:16:25What's your thinking,
0:16:25 > 0:16:26what's the sequence?
0:16:26 > 0:16:30There are no plays by Shakespeare as far as we know called Henry VII.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32There are three plays called Henry VI.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33One called Henry V
0:16:33 > 0:16:35and two called Henry IV.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38That's absolutely right, Henry IV parts one and two.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41That is the sequence, excellent.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Music Monkeys,
0:16:42 > 0:16:43your turn for a choice.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Um, Lion, please.- Lion.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47What would be fourth in this sequence?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Here's the first.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Don't know what that is. Next, please.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- Any thoughts?- No thoughts.- Next.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Oh, are they...- Cocktails?
0:17:03 > 0:17:04nicknames for monarchs,
0:17:04 > 0:17:08in which case it would be the Virgin Queen.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Old Coppernose...
0:17:09 > 0:17:11That might be Henry VIII.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15The Boy King would be...would be...
0:17:15 > 0:17:16- Yes.- ..the son of Bloody Mary.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18I'd try the Virgin Queen.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- I'd just go for that.- OK. - BELL
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Nicknames, we think these are, for monarchs,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Elizabethan-period monarchs, so we think Virgin Queen.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Virgin Queen or Gloriana or Good Queen Bess
0:17:31 > 0:17:32all acceptable answers.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35They are nicknames of Tudor sovereigns going forwards.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Last choice of the round for you,
0:17:37 > 0:17:38Chess Pieces. Which one?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- Well, Twisted Flax.- That's us.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42- That's us.- We're twisted.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44What would come fourth in this sequence?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Here's the first.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Next.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50BELL
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Goodge Street, Warren Street,
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Tottenham Court Road,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55- Leicester Square.- Yes.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57No, Warren Street... We're going the other way.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Goodge Street, Warren Street... - Euston.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01No, no, Mornington Crescent,
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Camden Town.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Mornington Crescent...
0:18:03 > 0:18:04I need to press you for an answer.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Mornington Crescent, Camden Town.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Which of those is your answer?
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Sorry, I thought there were two answers.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I need to know what comes fourth in the sequence.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15- Euston...- Camden Town.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Camden Town is not the right answer, I'm afraid.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20I'm going to show you the third in the sequence
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- for a possible bonus point.- I think Mornington Crescent is right.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Mornington Crescent.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25I have never been happier.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Finally, I am on a quiz where
0:18:27 > 0:18:30the answer is Mornington Crescent.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32These are stations travelling north
0:18:32 > 0:18:33on the Northern Line.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34They're all on there,
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Camden Town is in that direction,
0:18:36 > 0:18:37but first you would get
0:18:37 > 0:18:38to Mornington Crescent.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40- Except on a Sunday.- Exactly.
0:18:40 > 0:18:41When it's closed.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Sunday it's closed.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44We were giving the answer for Sunday.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I see! Unfortunately,
0:18:46 > 0:18:48- I choose not to accept it.- No? OK.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51So Mornington Crescent, well done, you get the bonus point
0:18:51 > 0:18:54and the last question of the round, the Horned Viper.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55What would come fourth in this sequence?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57They are going to be picture clues,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00so what would you expect to see in the fourth picture?
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Here's the first.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I think that's Kenny G.
0:19:05 > 0:19:06OK, next.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11- C major.- So it's like, G - C.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12C major chord.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Next.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- That's H from Steps. - So GCHQ. Q.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22- OK. So the answer is... - BELL
0:19:22 > 0:19:24The answer is a Q in some way,
0:19:24 > 0:19:27so you could have a picture of a Q, cos it's GCHQ.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Or people outside McDonald's.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Or lovely Ben Whishaw from
0:19:30 > 0:19:33the Bond films, who now plays Q.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34Very well done.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37That means at the end of Round Two,
0:19:37 > 0:19:39the Music Monkeys have nine points,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41the Chess Pieces have nine points.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42- Oh!- Oh!
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Time now for the Connecting Wall,
0:19:46 > 0:19:4916 jumbled-up clues that the teams must sort
0:19:49 > 0:19:51into four connected groups of four,
0:19:51 > 0:19:53avoiding the red herrings to make a perfect solution.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57Music Monkeys, you'll be going first this time and you have a choice -
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Lion or Water?- What do we think?
0:20:00 > 0:20:02- Lion.- Lion.- Lion it is.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07You have two and a half minutes to solve the Lion wall, starting now.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Uh, Are You Being Served?
0:20:11 > 0:20:16- Yes, Mr Humphries, Slocombe, Peacock and...- Grace?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Old Mr Grace, yep.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21- OK.- Naughtie, Montague...
0:20:21 > 0:20:24The Today Programme, so Husain, Naughtie, Montague,
0:20:24 > 0:20:26- who else?- Webb.- Webb.
0:20:26 > 0:20:31- Three strikes and you're out now. - These are, um...
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Could they be chillies?
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Scotch bonnet? Yes, possibly.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Scotch pancake.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40So Scotch is before it.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- Scotch broth.- Scotch broth.
0:20:42 > 0:20:43- Scotch mist?- Scotch mist?
0:20:43 > 0:20:47- Hang on. - I'm pretty sure that's right.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I'm going to put three, bonnet, broth, pancake.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52That's all Scotch before it. Corner.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Scotch Corner exists. - Or Scotch mist.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56- Scotch Corner exists. Oh! - BUZZ
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- Two more goes.- It does exist. Scotch mist, then?
0:20:59 > 0:21:01It definitely is Scotch. These are definitely Scotch.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04Let's think about what coin, salad, coin and caber would be.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06The thing is that there's lots of Scotch things.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- There's only one extra. - Scotch caber.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Scotch caber?- What would caber...?
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- It has to be Scotch before it. - OK.- So I think it's mist.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17We've got two more.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- What would the other one be? - That's what I'm thinking about.
0:21:19 > 0:21:23If it was these two, it'd be caber, corner, coin and salad.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Let's just take these out of the equation,
0:21:25 > 0:21:26so we can see what we're dealing with.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29THEY CONFER QUIETLY
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- Coin and salad must be in the same...- What's caber?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- What is a caber?- A caber's like a think that you chuck.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Yes.- In the Highland games. That's slightly confusing.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- Ah, is coin a game as well? - You toss a coin, you toss a caber.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44You toss a pancake.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Toss a pancake!
0:21:46 > 0:21:47- Right, OK.- OK.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51- And you toss a salad!- And you toss a salad. Yeah, that's it.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53That's it, you've solved the wall.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Very well done. Red herrings neatly dodged.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59So, four points immediately for the groups you found.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- What about the connections? - You got straight away...
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Peacock, Humphries, Slocombe, Grace?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06It was Mrs Slocombe. It's Are You Being Served? characters.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Are you a big fan of that show, Philip?
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Oh, I could quote great swathes of it.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12What about the green group?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Husain, Webb, Naughtie, let's say for now, Montague.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17They are Today Show presenter.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19They are presenters on the Radio 4 programme Today.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Can you tell me their first names?
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Mishal, Justin, James and Sarah.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25All presenters on the Today programme.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29And the pink or purple group - caber, coin, pancake, salad.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31That's the one that we nearly got wrong,
0:22:31 > 0:22:33because some of those can be Scotch.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36But that is things you can toss.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37All things that can be tossed.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40And the light blue group - mist, bonnet, corner, broth?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- Scotch things.- That's Scotch things.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Those are the Scotch things, well done.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Four points for the groups you found, four for the connections.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49A bonus two for getting it all right.
0:22:49 > 0:22:50That is the maximum of ten.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Let's bring in the Chess Pieces now, give them a new Connecting Wall
0:22:53 > 0:22:55with 16 different clues on it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:56See if they can sort it out.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59You'll be getting the Water wall, because the Lion's been taken.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01You have two and a half minutes to solve it,
0:23:01 > 0:23:03starting now.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06Right, OK.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Um...
0:23:08 > 0:23:10What's that one?
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- That's Welsh.- Is it?
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- Is it?- I think it probably is.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16This all means "free".
0:23:16 > 0:23:20- Gratuit, frei...- And gratis.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Gratis, OK.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25OK, pig's ear is making a mess of something.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Well, crick was... It could be crick.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30This is slang.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32This could be, yeah.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Sherbet, snow - are these words for...
0:23:35 > 0:23:36- Yeah, sherbet, snow...- ..drugs?
0:23:38 > 0:23:43So let's go for a druggy-sounding thing.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44What do we think?
0:23:44 > 0:23:45BUZZ
0:23:45 > 0:23:48What do we think, what else?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50THEY CONFER QUIETLY
0:23:50 > 0:23:55- A jar...- This is hitting me - a jar, brew...- A sherbet is beer, isn't it?
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Yeah, let's do it.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59And a tinny is a small beer, yeah.
0:23:59 > 0:24:00- BUZZ - No.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02OK, tinny, jar...
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Tinny, jar...
0:24:06 > 0:24:08- Brew.- Brew, and...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Must be sherbet. - No, we did sherbet.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Mason.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Jar, tinny, brew...
0:24:19 > 0:24:21THEY CONFER QUIETLY, BUZZ
0:24:21 > 0:24:23You're able to wrench, sprain, crick and pull yourself.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27A wrench and a sprain is how you hurt yourself, a crick in the neck,
0:24:27 > 0:24:28- a pull in the shoulder. - BUZZ
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Wrench, sprain...
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Jar, you could do.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36You could jar, wrench, sprain...
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Wrench, crick.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39No, wrench and pull.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Jar, pull, wrench and sprain.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44- Yes.- OK.- Right.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45Three strikes and you're out now.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48We've got to do this, so pig's ear, what is that?
0:24:48 > 0:24:50I know tinny and brew are together, that's for sure.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Do you think that's...?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Cardinal Newman, Cardinal Mason, Cardinal Crick.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59- Do you think that's a whimsical name for a beer, a pig's ear?- Could be.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00These two are together.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03So pig's ear, brew, sherbet and tinny.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04- Try that.- Yeah, try it.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08What happens to the bottom one? We've got to work out...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11That's it, you've solved the wall.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13So four points for the groups.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14What about the connections?
0:25:14 > 0:25:18The first one - am ddim, frei, gratuis...
0:25:18 > 0:25:19"Am ddim" is "free" in Welsh.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- French...- They all mean free.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24I thought you'd be there for a while because of the "am ddim".
0:25:24 > 0:25:25Do you speak Welsh?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I was brought up in South Wales.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29SHE SPEAKS WELSH I had no idea!
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Diolch yn fawr.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- That's amazing.- Bore da.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Yes, the am ddim was meant to hold you up, but it really didn't.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Welsh speakers. Well done, they all mean "free".
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Next group - jar, pull, wrench, sprain.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Muscles, they can happen to your muscles.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Injuries, isn't it?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Injuries that you can do to your body.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49What about the purple group - pig's ear, tinny?
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- I think that's all to do with drinking.- Booze.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54- It's beer.- All slang terms for beer.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57And the light blue group - mason, snow, crick, Newman.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58It could be lion, yeah.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00No, let's not. Let's go for cardinals.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03It's neither of those things, they're presenters on Channel 4 News.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Jon Snow, Cathy Newman, Michael Crick,
0:26:05 > 0:26:06- Paul Mason.- Who would know that?
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Channel 4 News presenters.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11So four points for the groups you found and three for the connections.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13That is a total of seven.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Let's have a look at the scores going into the final round.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Time now for the Missing Vowels Round.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26We've taken well-known names, phrases and sayings,
0:26:26 > 0:26:29taken out the vowels and re-spaced the consonants
0:26:29 > 0:26:33and I want the teams to tell me what the disguised clues are.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Fingers on buzzers, teams.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39I'm going to tell you that the first group are all...
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Pieces?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47I don't know why I pressed it.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Too long, I'm afraid. You lose a point. Monkeys, do you know?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52- No.- It's Byker Grove.
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Next clue.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Pieces.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01No, I was going to say When The Boat Comes In. That simply doesn't work.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03That's not it, I'm afraid. Monkeys, do you know?
0:27:03 > 0:27:06- Wire In The Blood. - It's Wire In The Blood. Next clue.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Monkeys?
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Our Friends In The North. - Is the right answer.
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Monkeys.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18- When The Boat Comes In. - That's When The Boat Comes In.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Would you have got that if I hadn't said that a minute ago?
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Next category...
0:27:25 > 0:27:26Monkeys?
0:27:26 > 0:27:27- Confetti.- Correct.
0:27:29 > 0:27:30Pieces?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- Bouquet?- Correct.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Pieces.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- Marquee.- Correct.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41TIME-UP JINGLE
0:27:44 > 0:27:46No time to give me that answer. What would you have said?
0:27:46 > 0:27:47The father of the bride.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Would have been the right answer,
0:27:49 > 0:27:51but the bell has gone
0:27:51 > 0:27:52for the end of the quiz.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Looking at the final scores,
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I can reveal that the winners
0:27:56 > 0:27:57with an excellent 23 points
0:27:57 > 0:27:59are the Music Monkeys.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Finishing second with an equally creditable 16,
0:28:02 > 0:28:03it's the Chess Pieces.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06Very well done, all of you, particularly your side,
0:28:06 > 0:28:07the winning team - you were all great.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Thank you very much for coming
0:28:09 > 0:28:12and giving your time to our charity enterprise.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16Thank you for watching. Please do make a donation if you possibly can
0:28:16 > 0:28:18and if you've just joined us,
0:28:18 > 0:28:21what time do you call this? We're basically finished.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23You've tuned in for the next programme, haven't you?
0:28:23 > 0:28:27Well, excuse us just trying to do a bit of good!
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Honestly, some people!