0:00:21 > 0:00:25Hello and welcome to Only Connect, the quiz that's like a tonic
0:00:25 > 0:00:28in the sense that I always take it with a lot of gin.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31But this is a very special episode, in aid of Children in Need,
0:00:31 > 0:00:35the BBC appeal. Some very special quizzers are giving their time
0:00:35 > 0:00:38in the hope of inspiring you to make a donation.
0:00:38 > 0:00:39They say, "never meet your heroes"
0:00:39 > 0:00:43so I've had to blank most of these people in the dressing room.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46They are, on my right, a legendary TV producer
0:00:46 > 0:00:51who founded Not The Nine O'Clock News, Spitting Image, and, of course, QI -
0:00:51 > 0:00:54the show that puts the fun into knowledge and facts.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Here he is on Only Connect where we take it back out again, John Lloyd.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59Writer, journalist, TV presenter,
0:00:59 > 0:01:03novelist, baroness, feminist icon with a Cambridge degree in Economics and History.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07The person that every woman on British television wants to be,
0:01:07 > 0:01:12even Katie Price, in her heart, wants to be Joan Bakewell!
0:01:12 > 0:01:15And their captain, Nick Hornby.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Best-selling author and screenwriter, essayist,
0:01:18 > 0:01:22and, in a new adventure, lyricist, collaborating on the album Lonely Avenue -
0:01:22 > 0:01:25a title that made it popular with quizzers everywhere.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Oh, there's a quiz every night in the pub on Lonely Avenue.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Nick also writes for the Believer magazine.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32Joan hosts the Radio 3 series, Belief,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34and John believes whatever he's told.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36They are the Great Believers.
0:01:36 > 0:01:44- Nick, am I right in thinking you're a regular quizzer?- Er, there is a regular quiz I take part in
0:01:44 > 0:01:48that my sister sets at the River Cafe,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50which becomes very competitive.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Without sucking up, I'm a great fan of Only Connect,
0:01:54 > 0:01:56that's my most regular quizzing at the moment.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00Hurrah. Only Connect is a great fan of you. How confident are you
0:02:00 > 0:02:03in your teammates?
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Er, I was extremely confident and then we had the rehearsal.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Well, good luck. Tonight, you will be attempting to beat,
0:02:10 > 0:02:11on my left...
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Science writer, author, journalist and libel-trial hero,
0:02:14 > 0:02:16a man who knows all about hidden connections,
0:02:16 > 0:02:22having written The Code Book - The Science Of Secrecy From Ancient Egypt To Quantum Cryptography.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Damn it! Better take that question out of Round Two. Simon Singh.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29Actor, comedian and revered improviser,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31a man who gained an MA in English Literature
0:02:31 > 0:02:36but abandoned his PhD because, he said, his dissertation was 200 pages of rubbish.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Picky, picky. It may have been rubbish,
0:02:38 > 0:02:42but come on, it was 200 pages! John Sessions.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45And their captain, the editor of Private Eye,
0:02:45 > 0:02:49stalwart of Have I Got News For You, a popular presenter here on BBC Four
0:02:49 > 0:02:53and, as all quizzers should know, the most sued man in English history.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Luckily, he always has meticulous briefs, Ian Hislop.
0:02:56 > 0:03:01They all refused to be silenced, regardless of threat or stage fright.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03They are the Free Speakers.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Now, Ian, your current affairs knowledge is second to none
0:03:06 > 0:03:08but how's your lateral thinking?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Er, not too good. You said, "Are you confident?"
0:03:11 > 0:03:14My teammate on my left, a quiz called Only Connect,
0:03:14 > 0:03:19- he missed the train to get here!- Yes. - It's not looking good so far.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Are there particular areas of general knowledge you think
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- might be a weakness?- Yes, but Simon's going to cover all of them!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Excellent.- In your dreams!
0:03:28 > 0:03:31We are quizzing tonight in aid of Children in Need,
0:03:31 > 0:03:35helping to improve the lives of disadvantaged children and young people all over Britain.
0:03:35 > 0:03:41If you can afford to make a donation, please go to...
0:03:41 > 0:03:46In Round One, teams, I simply want to know, what is the connection
0:03:46 > 0:03:49between four apparently random clues. If you see fewer than four,
0:03:49 > 0:03:52I will give you more points for the correct answer.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Believers, you won the toss, so you'll be going first.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Twisted Flax, please.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04The Twisted Flax. Your first clue is coming up now.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- (Next one).- Next!
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- It's going to be numbers... - Next one.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Er, it's none, it's none.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28- None.- Zero, or none, is the correct answer.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31There are none of these things. Leonardo da Vinci
0:04:31 > 0:04:34signed none of his paintings, there are no locks on the Suez Canal,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37there are no bones in a shark. The last clue was
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Oscars won by Alfred Hitchcock.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Well done, you get the points
0:04:41 > 0:04:44and over to the Free Speakers to choose a hieroglyph.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Can we try Eye of Horus? Bit of product placement early on?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50You certainly can. The Eye of Horus.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52What do these things have in common?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54The first one coming in...now.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- Marks & Spencers?- Next.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Make the Channel Tunnel a no-fly zone...
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Are they Green Party policies?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Or Monster Raving Loony Party policies?
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Yes.- Are they still going, shall we try one more?
0:05:19 > 0:05:20- Yes.- Next.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26It's a silly thing. Monster Raving Loony Party sounds good.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- Shall we try it?- Yes.- Shall we go for it now then?
0:05:31 > 0:05:35These are the political policies of the Monster Raving Loony Party.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36You are quite right.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39I think it was that third clue, "Ban terrorists from having beards",
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- that helped you to realise not the Green Party!- And not the Lib Dems!
0:05:43 > 0:05:46"Offer chocolate on prescription", that was the last one.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Policies from the Monster Raving Loony Party.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53- Back to you then, Great Believers, to pick a hieroglyph.- Horned Viper.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54It's the music question.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58You'll hear these clues. I want to know, what do they have in common?
0:05:58 > 0:06:00The first one is coming in now.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04# I met him at the candy store
0:06:04 > 0:06:06# Turned around and smiled at me You get the picture? #
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Yes, we see.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12# That's when I fell for the leader of the pack... #
0:06:12 > 0:06:13MOTORBIKE ROARS
0:06:13 > 0:06:16# God save the Queen!
0:06:17 > 0:06:18# A fascist regime... #
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- What's that?- Sex Pistols.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21# They made you a moron... #
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Next.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28MUSIC: "Je T'Aime (Moi Non Plus)" by Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin
0:06:28 > 0:06:29- Ten Seconds.- Next.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32# Relax, don't do it... #
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Oh...
0:06:34 > 0:06:38I'm thinking that they were all banned from the radio.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41They were all banned by the BBC.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- Oh, the BBC.- What did you hear? - Leader Of The Pack
0:06:44 > 0:06:46by the Shangri-Las. That one confused me,
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I didn't know the BBC had banned Leader Of The Pack
0:06:49 > 0:06:50by The Shangri-Las!
0:06:50 > 0:06:53It was because of fears it would incite violence
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- because it was about gangs. - Then it was God Save The Queen,
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Relax... I've forgotten what number three was.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02- Je T'Aime.- Oh, Je T'Aime, yes.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Having played pieces of all four of those, we may be off air
0:07:05 > 0:07:07before the end of the show! Onto the next question
0:07:07 > 0:07:09before that happens... Back to you, Free Speakers,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- to pick a hieroglyph.- Simon.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13- Lion.- Lion.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17These are going to be picture clues. What is the connection?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20First one coming up now.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Next.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34The words pun, "roll" and "role", "currant" and "current"...
0:07:34 > 0:07:39- Oh, OK.- Want to try one more?- Yes, one more, please.- Next.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45- Beer, beer. Beer, you can carry... - Well, it's a six-pack.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Um, oh!- Ten seconds.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Oh, no, no, no! Stomachs.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56- Yes, they're, er, expressions of fat...- Press the button!
0:07:56 > 0:08:02Sorry! They're expressions of bits of you that's a bit fat.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Your stomach. That's a muffin top, that's a six-pack,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09so that's not fat. They're descriptions of stomachs.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11How you can be brilliant enough to figure that out
0:08:11 > 0:08:15but not how to press the button, I don't know!
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Bread basket, muffin top, six-pack,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19and the last one would have been spare tyre.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22They're nicknames for the abdominal region. Excellent work.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Back to you, Believers. - Water, please.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27All right, what is the connection here?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29First clue coming up now.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32- St Saddam's...- Next.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Are they two from Viz magazine or something like that...
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- TV show?- Kelsey Grammar, Uncle Albert...
0:08:46 > 0:08:51- Oh, well, they're all... - Comedy series?
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Uncle Albert and Kelsey Grammar
0:08:54 > 0:08:57are actors, aren't they? Characters...
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- Kelsey Grammar...- Ten seconds.- Next.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- I don't know where these are, do you?- Three seconds.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- Has anybody guessed?- Comedy...
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Er, they're all in some comedy series.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Oh, for heaven's sake, you've got a comedy producer on the team,
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- name a comedy series! - I'm busy making them,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- I haven't got time to watch them as well!- In that case,
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I'm not going to accept it, I'm going over to the Free Speakers
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- for a possible bonus point.- They're names in some comedy show.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31It's the kind of thing...
0:09:31 > 0:09:33If nobody on this programme can name a comedy show...
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- I'm going to say Little Britain. - It's not your turn. Free Speakers?
0:09:37 > 0:09:39That sounds like a good answer, unfortunately.
0:09:39 > 0:09:40We can't really say it.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Let's say Little Britain!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46They are all locations in the BBC sketch show Little Britain!
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- Yes!- Very well done, I'm so impressed. The other team,
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- they didn't...- They didn't have a clue, the other team.
0:09:54 > 0:09:59The trick is to be absolutely silent while the other team is guessing.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Give nothing away! Well done for the bonus point.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03One question left, Two Reeds.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07That's going to you, Free Speakers. Your first clue is coming up now.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12That fashion designer.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- Next!- Next.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Oh right, OK, so we're adding...- Are they all Belgian or all got accents?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- Shall we try one more?- Next.
0:10:26 > 0:10:32- It's a short name of the full name. - Or could they be Belgian words?
0:10:33 > 0:10:38- Try Belgians, try Belgians.- Shall we go for the fourth one?- Next!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Ten seconds.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45- They're all abbreviations, aren't they?- Yes, let's go for it. Buzzer...
0:10:45 > 0:10:49They're all abbreviations.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Give me a little more?
0:10:52 > 0:10:56- To describe longer words!- Esso is Standard Oil, for example.
0:10:56 > 0:11:02Oh, they're all... Herge is "HJ", Erte is "RT",
0:11:02 > 0:11:05Jeep was "JP" and Esso is "SO".
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Now you're going in the right direction.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09I'll give it to you. Herge is the other way round.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12The Tintin creator's initials were "GR", he turned it round
0:11:12 > 0:11:15to make Herge. Erte, "RT" were the initials of the designer,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18"GP" - General Purpose. "SO", the initials of Standard Oil.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22They are abbreviations made from the phonetic initials. Well done.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26That means, at the end of Round One,
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Great Believers have three points.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30The Free Speakers are ahead,
0:11:30 > 0:11:31with six.
0:11:33 > 0:11:37Of course, we're here trying to raise money for Children in Need
0:11:37 > 0:11:41which seeks to improve the lives of disadvantaged and suffering children
0:11:41 > 0:11:43and young people all over the country.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47If you can give something, please go to...
0:11:49 > 0:11:53On with Round Two, this is the Sequences round. I want to know
0:11:53 > 0:11:57not what is the connection, you must work that out on your own.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00I want to know what is fourth in a sequence. Believers, you're first.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Please choose a question. - Joan.- Water.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06OK, you're about to see the first in a sequence.
0:12:06 > 0:12:11What would you expect to see fourth? Time starts...now.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Next.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- SHE WHISPERS:- George, Paul, Ringo..
0:12:18 > 0:12:23John, Paul, Ringo and George...
0:12:23 > 0:12:26It's got to be the oldest, hasn't it? Next.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- John.- It has to be John, doesn't it?
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Going to have a wild guess and say John.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Do you notice anything those pictures have in common?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Any information you haven't given me?
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Er, John in red?
0:12:42 > 0:12:46- I'm afraid that's not the answer. - Who'd have thought!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I must offer a possible bonus to the Free Speakers.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50John Lennon in white.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- You think it'll say John Lennon, do you?- John in white.- John!
0:12:53 > 0:12:55John in white is the answer.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Unlucky over there. Do you know why?
0:12:58 > 0:13:00What they're wearing, crossing the zebra crossing
0:13:00 > 0:13:02on the Abbey Road album?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Now that's a quizzer! What is the sequence,
0:13:05 > 0:13:07it's the sequence in which they cross the road
0:13:07 > 0:13:10on the cover of the Abbey Road album,
0:13:10 > 0:13:11and the suits they're wearing.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15John in white would be the fourth. Very well done.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Your reward is a question of your own,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19- if you'd like to select it. - Horned Viper please.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24The Horned Viper. What is the fourth in this sequence?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Here's the first...
0:13:28 > 0:13:33- This is maths...- Oh, dear.- Next! - We all look at Simon.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Shall we see the third one and we can see...
0:13:40 > 0:13:43I'm trying to divide one into the other.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Er...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- Yeah, let's get the next one.- Next.
0:13:50 > 0:13:55- OK, so...- Eight eights... - Ten seconds.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- Minutes, oh, ah... Seconds. So it's a 60...- Three seconds.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04It's 60.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Don't panic. What's the answer? - 60.- 60.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Just in the nick of time, the answer is 60.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Very well done, why is it 60?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Cos it's 60 seconds in a minute,
0:14:13 > 0:14:15then that's the number of seconds in an hour,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18that's the number of seconds in a...day
0:14:18 > 0:14:24- and that's the number of seconds in...- A week.- Week.- Week.- A week.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- Back to you, Believers, which would you like?- Twisted Flax, please.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29The Twisted Flax, OK.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32What is the fourth in this tricky little sequence?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Here's the first.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Next.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41ITV, it's going to be, isn't it?
0:14:41 > 0:14:47Could it be a sequence of independent television... The IBA...
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Next.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52ITV?
0:14:52 > 0:14:55THEY CONFER QUIETLY
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Joan thinks it might be ITV.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03I'm afraid that's not the answer. There's another bonus chance
0:15:03 > 0:15:05for you, Free Speakers.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10- Independent Broadcasting Authority, Independent Tele...- The order...
0:15:10 > 0:15:14- This is far too long.- Ofcom?- Ofcom! - I'll give it to you.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16- It is Ofcom.- Thank you.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20I think you knew, Joan, these were independent television regulators.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I did indeed, but I thought... Yes, Ofcom.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27You absolutely got the connection and then veered off towards ITV.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Ofcom is right for the bonus point. You may now have your own question,
0:15:30 > 0:15:32- which would you like?- Lion.- Lion.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35All right. These are going to be picture clues.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Ships, Spithead review...
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- No, they're too precise for terms. - Next.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Sealing...
0:15:50 > 0:15:54"Cabbages and kings, ships and sealing wax." It's going to be that.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57If we see the next one, I'll probably know it. Next.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58- Cabbages!- Cabbages.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59It's going to be kings.
0:15:59 > 0:16:04- Kings!- Nobody's ringing the bell, I hope the time doesn't run out.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06- Lewis Carroll line. - I beg your pardon?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- What is in the fourth box? - Lewis Carroll line?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Kings! It's what the walrus says to the carpenter,
0:16:11 > 0:16:15"We're going to talk of many things, of ships..."
0:16:15 > 0:16:18JOHN JOINS IN: "And sealing wax and cabbages and kings."
0:16:18 > 0:16:21"And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings."
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Kings would be the next in the sequence, well done.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27If you could get the buzzer strategy sorted, you'd be a great team!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29It's my problem, I keep thinking it's the nuclear button
0:16:29 > 0:16:31and I can't touch it.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Nevertheless, you get the points, well done.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37- Back to you, Believers, to choose a question.- Two Reeds, please.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40The Two Reeds. What is the fourth in this sequence?
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Here's the first.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45This blessed plot.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- What's the last one, is it England? - Go on.- Next.
0:16:52 > 0:16:53"This earth, this realm, this England."
0:16:56 > 0:16:59"This earth, this realm, this England."
0:16:59 > 0:17:01And so the fourth one would be?
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- This earth, blessed plot... England. - Absolutely right.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07"Realm" would be third, "England" fourth.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Brilliant answer, after two clues, you get three points.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15- You're going to ask me which play! - Well, I thought I might.- Henry V?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- Richard II.- Richard II. - It is Richard II.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20John of Gaunt's monologue. Are you familiar with that monologue, John?
0:17:20 > 0:17:21- I am.- Go on.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- IN A THEATRICAL VOICE:- But I haven't essayed it for many, many years.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- Is now not the moment? - Now is not the moment, sadly.
0:17:28 > 0:17:33- Go on, audition!- Fortunately, Believers, you don't need to tell me
0:17:33 > 0:17:36the connection, you've got the answer right.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40That leaves one question left for the Free Speakers, the Eye of Horus.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Your first clue is coming up now.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48A computer language?
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Next.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53THEY CONFER QUIETLY
0:17:54 > 0:17:58I'm just trying to think, not bizarre children's characters...
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- Shall we take...- Yes, next.- Next.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07- Sybil...- Must be, are they Wombles or something?
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Sybil... Humphrey...
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Er, shall we take the next one?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13- There isn't a next one.- Ten seconds.
0:18:13 > 0:18:18- OK, we'll have the next one!- I'm afraid I can't give you that.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Three seconds.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25They're all characters in the well-known children's series...
0:18:26 > 0:18:31- But we have to get the fourth one! - JOAN: Humphrey, Sybil, Wilberforce.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Even if they were characters in a children's series,
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- that wouldn't be the fourth in a sequence!- Tarquin! Cedric!
0:18:37 > 0:18:40We think we know the connection but we can't give you number four.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45- These are all pets in 10 Downing Street.- They might well be
0:18:45 > 0:18:47but I want to know what's fourth. Don't say anything over there!
0:18:47 > 0:18:51It's called something like The King Of England.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- Where did that come from?- I don't know.- It's called Larry!- Oh.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- The one before is called The King Of England!- They are cats.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Chief mousers to the Cabinet Office,
0:19:03 > 0:19:07and the one after Sybil is Larry.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10That's it for Round Two. Looking at the scores,
0:19:10 > 0:19:12the Great Believers have an impressive six points
0:19:12 > 0:19:15but the Free Speakers are ahead with 12.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Time for the Connecting Wall.
0:19:19 > 0:19:2416 clues, which the teams must sort into four connected groups of four.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Plenty of red herrings there on the wall but only one perfect solution.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Free Speakers, it is your turn to go first this time.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34First you have a choice - Lion or Water?
0:19:34 > 0:19:38- Lion.- OK, the Lion wall. You've got two and a half minutes to solve it,
0:19:38 > 0:19:41starting...now.
0:19:48 > 0:19:54Palaces - Topkapi, Winter, Crystal and Kensington.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- There's not five of those, are there? No, shall we try that?- Yes.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Nope. Er, oops.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Billy Idol, Billy Joel,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10- Billy Fury... Billy...- Crystal.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- Not Billy The Big Heat.- No.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15- Try again.- Billy Ocean.- OK, yes.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Oh, come on!
0:20:19 > 0:20:23OK, Mastermind... Are these quiz shows?
0:20:23 > 0:20:27The Big Heat, that's a quiz show, isn't it?
0:20:32 > 0:20:36- You hit a random one.- Sorry, yes, lose that.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40- OK, what's...- Go is a game, Mastermind was a game.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Hex was a game, Crystal was a game?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45You've used one minute.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- Is Potala a game?- Let's try it.
0:20:48 > 0:20:53Nope. But surely that's right. Er...
0:20:53 > 0:20:57I'm thinking Hex sounds like a game. Let's try M.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03We don't know, what's The Big Heat, is that a film?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- Kensington... Metropolis was a film. - Fine.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Does anybody know anything about Corgan?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- Shall we go Corgan...- M was a film.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17And Topkapi was a film. No.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24The Billys... Billy Joel, Billy Fury,
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Billy Idol...
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Billy Ocean, Billy...
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Billy Corgan. Who is Corgan? We don't know that.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Er, who the hell is Corgan?
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Billy Joel, Billy Idol, Billy Fury...- Billy Corgan?
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- Er...- Billy Crystal.- Billy Ocean, did you try that combination?
0:21:53 > 0:21:57One group. Not much time left.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01- Er...- Oh, right.- Crystal, sorry.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Let's lose that.- Under ten seconds.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Do the palaces.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- Crystal, Topkapi...- Winter!
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Ah, no, that's it, the time is up.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14- Dear!- But you got a group, that's a point.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17I'll give you another one if you can tell me the connections.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Corgan, Joel, Ocean, Idol.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Billy Joel, Billy Ocean, Billy Idol, it must be Billy Corgan.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins. They're singing Billys.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- We got that bit.- You got that, you got the Billy, a point for that.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34I'll give you points for connections in the groups you didn't find.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Let's resolve the wall.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Crystal, Topkapi, Winter, Potala.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- They're all palaces. - They are palaces.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Potala threw you, the Dalai Lama's palace.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Next, M, The Big Heat, Fury, Metropolis.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49They're all films.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Particular Fritz Lang films, I think.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- They're all films directed by Fritz Lang.- Why didn't I know that?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59You did but when they're jumbled up, it can be hard to find.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- Those are games.- Hex, Go, Kensington, Mastermind.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- They're games.- Board games.- Hex, Go, Kensington, Mastermind,
0:23:04 > 0:23:07they are all strategy board games.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10- Oh!- So you knew it all really. You get a point for the group you found
0:23:10 > 0:23:13plus four for the connections. A total of five points.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17Time to bring in the Great Believers and see what they can do with the Connecting Wall.
0:23:17 > 0:23:2116 fresh clues still need sorting in exactly the same way.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23You'll be getting the Water wall.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27You've got two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Drink, drink, drink...
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Shall we try that one?
0:23:37 > 0:23:38What's another one?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Shirley Temple.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42It is, we've done it.
0:23:42 > 0:23:48- Orange, lemon...- These are all editors, I think, of Punch.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53- Coren, Muggeridge.- Of... - I think it's Punch.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56I think it's Punch too, but who would it be?
0:23:56 > 0:24:01- Could it be John Bird, the editor... - Could it be Bell? No, it's not.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07Let's try him.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11- Surely not bathtub!- That would be a good trick, wouldn't it?!
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Right, er...
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- OK, let's go somewhere else. - Demand...
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Magazines. The Week, Learning...
0:24:22 > 0:24:28- Curves. Bell curve, learning curve... - Demand.- Demand curve.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31You've used a minute.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33- What about bathtub curve?- Try it.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Now, with two groups, it's three strikes and you're out.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41So, now we're going to look at these. So The Week is a magazine.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Do you think Trial might be?
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Er...
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Let's try these editors.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55- Denis Lemon.- That's it, you've solved the wall, brilliant work!
0:24:55 > 0:24:57You made it look easy.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Well, let's see about the connections.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03You get four points for the groups, bonus points available now.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06St Clements, Virgin Mary, Prairie Oyster, Shirley Temple.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Non-alcoholic cocktails?- They're all non-alcoholic cocktails.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12You won't catch me near any of them.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Bell, learning, bathtub, demand.
0:25:15 > 0:25:20- These are all curves.- But we don't know what a bathtub curve is!
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- We thought we'd go for it. - You speak for yourself, Joan!
0:25:23 > 0:25:25A bathtub curve is used to show the failure rate
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- of electronics equipment against time.- OK.- Of course!
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Lemon, Coren, Muggeridge, Bird.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36These are certainly all editors. Are they editors of Punch?
0:25:36 > 0:25:37All editors of Punch.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Mark Lemon was the first editor of Punch, Alan Coren the best,
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Malcolm Muggeridge, Cyril Bird, also editors of Punch.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48Very good. And the last one. Orange, Turtle, The Week, Trial.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Well, interestingly, they're all words.
0:25:53 > 0:25:58I can't accept it. You can put "mock" before all of them!
0:25:58 > 0:26:02Mock orange, Mock Turtle, Mock The Week, the TV show and a mock trial.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Still, excellent result.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08Four points for the groups, three bonus points for the connections, that's seven points.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12Let's see how that affects the scores going into Round Four.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14The Great Believers have 13 points
0:26:14 > 0:26:17but the Free Speakers are ahead with 17.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22If you'd like to play a Connecting Wall, why not go to our website
0:26:22 > 0:26:25where you can play a special one for Children in Need.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28You'll also find a link to the Children in Need donation website.
0:26:28 > 0:26:34And yes, I agree, nothing improves a glamorous evening dress like a pair of bright yellow novelty ears.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I've got them on, haven't I?
0:26:36 > 0:26:40I hope you're giving some money. Let's play Round Four,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43the Missing Vowels round. We take well-known names, phrases or sayings,
0:26:43 > 0:26:47remove the vowels, squidge up the consonants. Teams, I want to know
0:26:47 > 0:26:49what are those disguised clues?
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Fingers on buzzers.
0:26:51 > 0:26:56The first group are all...
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Believers.
0:26:59 > 0:27:04- "Coulda been a contender."- Or "I coulda been a contender." Correct.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- Speakers?- Top of the world, Ma?
0:27:09 > 0:27:12No, there's all sorts of extra consonants there.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Possible bonus, Believers?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18No, too long. It's "ET, phone home." Next clue.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Too late. "I see dead people."
0:27:26 > 0:27:27Next clue.
0:27:28 > 0:27:33- "Houston, we have a problem." - "Houston, we have a problem."
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Correct. Next category...
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- Speakers?- Grapefruit.- Correct.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48- Believers?- Left-handedness.- Correct.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Speakers?- Till receipts.- Yes.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Believers.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01- Facebook.- It causes cancer, according to The Daily Mail.
0:28:01 > 0:28:02Correct. Next category...
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- Speakers?- Can't Get No Satisfaction.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13Correct.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15END-OF-ROUND JINGLE
0:28:18 > 0:28:21That last one was Just Like Starting Over, from John Lennon.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23But it's the end of the quiz.
0:28:23 > 0:28:29Final scores. Great Believers, you've got a very impressive 16
0:28:29 > 0:28:32but the winners, with 20 points, are the Free Speakers.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36- Congratulations to you. And congratulations to you!- Well done.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40Very well done, everybody. Thank you all for coming to play.
0:28:40 > 0:28:45That's it, time to send our star guests home from the front line of the quizzing war.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Inevitably, they'll be a little shell-shocked.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50From now on, whenever they hear a door slam,
0:28:50 > 0:28:54they'll hit the deck, whimpering, "Are they all cube routes of pi?"
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Please do support this year's Children in Need appeal
0:28:56 > 0:28:59and give something if you can. Goodbye.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:29:05 > 0:29:08E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk