0:00:21 > 0:00:26When the BBC lined up its shows to do something for Sport Relief,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Only Connect was picked last.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30That's because it is terribly short-sighted,
0:00:30 > 0:00:34suffers from asthma and has to wear corrective shoes.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Nevertheless we'll do our best to play the game in the hope
0:00:37 > 0:00:40of raising money for this very worthwhile charity.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43To which end some fantastic quizzers have come along
0:00:43 > 0:00:45giving their time on the off chance
0:00:45 > 0:00:48that you will feel inspired to make a donation.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50I am delighted to say that they are...
0:00:50 > 0:00:53on my right, an accomplished actor, writer of Dr Who
0:00:53 > 0:00:56and Sherlock, member of the League Of Gentlemen,
0:00:56 > 0:00:58presenter of A History Of Horror,
0:00:58 > 0:01:00he's a lover of all things dark and twisted,
0:01:00 > 0:01:04what took him so long to show up on Only Connect? Mark Gatiss.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Journalist, reporter and winner of Celebrity Mastermind,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12she speaks fluent French, German and Hindi, but who doesn't?
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Samira Ahmed.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16And their captain, award-winning novelist, film writer
0:01:16 > 0:01:21and a man who was once ranked in The Times as the world's fourth worst famous football fan,
0:01:21 > 0:01:25three places behind Hitler.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28But Hitler hates Sport Relief so tonight we booked Nick Hornby.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31All admirers of the cycling film
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Breaking Away, they are the Cutters.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37Nick, as a sports fan you're presumably competitive.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40When playing a quiz for charity, how much do you care about winning?
0:01:40 > 0:01:43It's the only thing that matters, really.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46I don't care if we take £0 and 0p for charity
0:01:46 > 0:01:49as long as his lot get smashed.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Tonight you will be facing... on my left, a great journalist,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55arts critic, economist and novelist,
0:01:55 > 0:02:00author of the best-selling I Don't Know How She Does It about the trials of being a working mother -
0:02:00 > 0:02:04which I'll know all about if I ever become a mother, or do any work - Allison Pearson.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08Another Celebrity Mastermind winner, star of Green Wing and Episodes,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11a man with a degree in Law and RADA training.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14So was surely put on this Earth to play Judge John Deed.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17But sadly, born to late - Stephen Mangan.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20And their captain, Ian Hislop, a man who's so professional he once
0:02:20 > 0:02:24appeared on Have I Got news For You despite suffering from appendicitis.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Considered the most pain a man has ever been in while recording a TV quiz,
0:02:28 > 0:02:31which I am personally taking as a challenge!
0:02:31 > 0:02:33All keen tennis fans, they are the Backhanders.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36Ian, this is in aid of Sport Relief.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39Are you hoping for a lot of questions about sport?
0:02:39 > 0:02:43Uh, yes! Particularly tennis.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45We're very keen on tennis.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48We might be able to do that one. Apart from that, who knows?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51You've played Only Connect before, what advice can you give to your team-mates?
0:02:51 > 0:02:56More advice for Nick, really, is don't lose.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00Because last time it was embarrassing and he was very hurt.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02So I think it would be better if he didn't.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Well, in order for someone to lose
0:03:04 > 0:03:07we'd better get on and play the quiz.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10We are quizzing tonight of course in aid of Sport Relief.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14helping vulnerable people in the UK and around the world.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17if you can afford to give something, please go to...
0:03:19 > 0:03:21..or phone...
0:03:24 > 0:03:25But no phoning, anyone here,
0:03:25 > 0:03:30you've only got your own brains in which to look for the answers.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Backhanders, you won the toss, please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35- Allison.- I'll go for water.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Good choice.- All right.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40This will be the first question of the Sport Relief Special.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Time starts now.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Speedy robber? - No, next?- Yeah.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Next!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52THEY WHISPER
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Mexican?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59Next!
0:03:59 > 0:04:03WHISPERING
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Do you want the last one?- I don't know what it is, so yes.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, yeah, next!
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Is it iguana? No...
0:04:13 > 0:04:1410 seconds.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21They're all connected, but how? You've got three seconds.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23BUZZER Mexico?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Mexico?! talk me through that logic.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I thought Speedy Gonzales...
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Are they types of lizard?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I'm afraid I can't take a second answer.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37OK, how about a third!
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- Mexico...- They're all types of toothpaste!
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Mexico, toothpaste, that's not it.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46So what is the connection? Cutters, you have the chance of a bonus.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49They're not types of hat?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52They might make lovely hats, but they are not.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55These are all the literal names of dinosaurs.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57- Oh!- Speedy Robber - velociraptor.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Iguana tooth - Iguanodon.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04Roof lizard is a stegosaurus and three-horned face... Anyone?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07I'll be run out of town, triceratops.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- Oh, dear. Would you like to leave now?- Yeah.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14But you may not because it's your turn to tell me the connection.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Which set would you like?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Could we have the Eye of Horus, please?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21You certainly may. What is the connection?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23First clue coming up now.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Motorcycle cops.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Next.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32LAUGHTER
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- Next.- That's changed.- Next.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39THEY WHISPER
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Chips, chips, chips.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Poker!
0:05:43 > 0:05:44BUZZER
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Uh, chips.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Chips is the answer!
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Erik Estrada - the motorcycle cop from Chips.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Victoria Coren, I believe, is a poker player of some sort.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Inspiration to degenerates everywhere.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58A self-mythologising question.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00I don't know who you're talking about. I've never met her...
0:06:00 > 0:06:03I hope I never do. I don't approve of that nonsense.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06We could've gone at Erik Estrada, but it was too risky.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Yeah. I knew at Erik Estrada.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11If you'd stopped at two, I'd've liked to hear they're all motorcycle cops.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Yes! Which is what we would've said.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17Intel is a computer chip manufacturer, and Harry Ramsden -
0:06:17 > 0:06:20the founder of a fish and chip restaurant chain.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Chips is the connection, very well done. Over to you to choose a question.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Stephen.- Two reeds, please.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Two reeds. Ah!
0:06:28 > 0:06:32It's the music question. What's the link between these pieces of music?
0:06:32 > 0:06:33First one coming in now.
0:06:33 > 0:06:38VIBRANT CLASSICAL MUSIC
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Next!
0:06:43 > 0:06:45MOTOWN BALLAD
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Mountains.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- Mountain.- Oh, brilliant! I wasn't expecting that.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- How do you know?- First one was Night On Bare Mountain,
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- and the second was... - Ain't No Mountain High Enough.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58We would've heard...
0:06:58 > 0:07:02but not needed. After two clues, you get three points.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- I didn't think you'd recognised the first.- Why not?
0:07:05 > 0:07:06You didn't look like you had.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10We don't want to give anything away. Look, they're wearing glasses,
0:07:10 > 0:07:12they can see - apart from Samira!
0:07:12 > 0:07:13Do we not look like Mussorgsky fans?
0:07:13 > 0:07:17Pictures Of An Exhibition coming up next. Come on!
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Brilliant. You get three points. Back to the Cutters.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Choose a hieroglyph.
0:07:23 > 0:07:24The horned viper.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28The horned viper. What is the connection here?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Time starts now.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Next.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- Don't know, next one.- Next.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41THEY CONFER
0:07:48 > 0:07:50SOS, was that? Yes, it was.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52- Titanic.- Titanic.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Next.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Hmph! Oh!
0:07:57 > 0:08:00- Yep.- Ten seconds.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04- Upside down.- They're the same upside down and the right way up.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07They look the same when printed upside down!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Absolutely right, very well done.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Points there.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15This is a rather hotly contested quiz this evening. Your turn.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18- Allison.- Lion.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19All right.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23These will be picture clues. First one coming up now.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Edward the Confessor.- Next!
0:08:30 > 0:08:33That's a golf hole, which one?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- Yes.- Next!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Crow's feet...
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Dog leg. It's a dog leg.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46That golf hole is a dog leg.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Crow's feet.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51They're all parts of animals.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Shall we... Next!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- Cat's eyes!- Cat's eyes. - BUZZER
0:08:57 > 0:08:59They're all parts of animals.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01They are made up by an animal and a body part.
0:09:01 > 0:09:06Dog leg, crow's feet, cat's eyes, what was the first one?
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Erm, Lionheart. - It's Richard Lionheart.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13- You noticed the dog leg, Stephen, are you a golfer?- Er...
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I play, I've been around... You know, occasionally.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19It's like admitting to being in the... Yes, I am, I have done. No!
0:09:19 > 0:09:21What? What is golf?
0:09:21 > 0:09:24You should see the trousers he's got on under here!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Oh, yeah. Wait till the Wall!
0:09:27 > 0:09:31I believe there is only one question remaining - the Twisted Flax.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32That's for you, Cutters.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34First clue coming up now.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42THEY WHISPER
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Next.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47It's Parliamentary insults.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49- Parliamentary insults. - Political insults.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52They are famous political insults - quite brilliant.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Can you give me more detail?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Being savaged by a dead sheep was,
0:09:57 > 0:10:02I think, Denis Healey's description of Geoffrey Howe.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- Ginger rodent was... - Description of Danny Alexander.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Yes, Danny Alexander. - By Harriet Harman, correct.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13- What about these new ones?- Norman Tebbit is a semi-house trained
0:10:13 > 0:10:15- polecat. - According to Michael Foot, yes.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Sex-starved boa constrictor? - That was Thatcher, I think.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Very well deduced.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24- That was Tony Banks talking about Margaret Thatcher.- Oh, it was!
0:10:24 > 0:10:26LAUGHTER
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Don't knock it. That's my inspiration in this chair.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Sex-starved boa constrictor.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Ian, in your experience, are politicians witty?
0:10:35 > 0:10:38There's a low standard in the House of Commons that passes for wit,
0:10:38 > 0:10:41so if you make a reasonable joke everyone thinks you're a genius.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46Which is why I'm standing for Parliament as soon as possible!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49I think it's the same with being handsome or good-looking.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Politically handsome is very different to the real world.
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Yes, yes.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Just cos you've got those glasses on!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00I'm now daydreaming about Michael Portillo.
0:11:00 > 0:11:05After a very impressive Round One, the Backhanders have four points,
0:11:05 > 0:11:07but the Cutters are ahead with six.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13We are quizzing tonight in aid of Sport Relief which helps vulnerable
0:11:13 > 0:11:16people in Britain and around the world.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20If you can afford to make a donation, please go to...
0:11:21 > 0:11:24..or phone...
0:11:26 > 0:11:31Meanwhile, we'll play Round Two - the Sequences Round. There are still four clues, all connected,
0:11:31 > 0:11:34but you may not see the fourth because I want to know what it is.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Backhanders, you go first again. Please choose a question.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41- Stephen.- Let's... The horned viper, please.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45OK, what's the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Sub zero. Is that a book?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Shall we get the next?- Yes.- Next.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Oh, right.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Warm, hot, we have sub zero.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Next.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07- Hot?- No.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Oh, sub zero...
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Yes, what's really uncool? Sort of...- Oh, God.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21- Erm...- Five seconds.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23It could be.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25What are you saying?
0:12:25 > 0:12:28We're going to say...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Erm, that's a lovely dress you're wearing.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Thank you very much, you've got the points. So, that isn't the answer.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Lame?- It's not lame.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41There is a bonus chance for the Cutters.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Hot?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46That's not it either.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48The answer is seriously uncool.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52This is the sequence on Top Gear's Cool Wall
0:12:52 > 0:12:55where they determine how cool a given car is.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59- Well done, everybody.- We were told this was an upmarket quiz show!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- Top Gear?!- Jeremy Clarkson!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03We want Mussorgsky questions.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05No points then on the Top Gear question.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07But, Cutters, you may choose a new one.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Could we have lion, please?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Certainly. What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17Next.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22League Cup? You should know this, Nick!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- Shall we get the next?- Is it legs?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Second leg?
0:13:27 > 0:13:31Three legs, four legs, so anything to do with legs...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33BUZZER
0:13:33 > 0:13:40We're going to say a cat or any other four-legged animal.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44I'll give you the points. We went with the more exciting - zebra.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47You can have it for cat. Why?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Erm, Long John Silver has one leg.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51The League Cup semi-finals are over two legs.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56A Manx triskelion, I presume has three legs.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59It's the three-legged Celtic symbol of the Isle of Man.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04And anything with four legs would be next, very well done.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08- Over to you, Backhanders.- We're in serious trouble, you realise.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- We're getting whopped. - We'll have to start cheating.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12Now's your chance.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Allison.- Eye of Horus.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17The Eye of Horus - first in a sequence coming up now.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21- Next.- Next.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Oh, don't know much about history, don't know much about biology.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26BUZZER
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Don't know much about algebra, don't know much about the books I wrote.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33- No, what is it? - I hate to interrupt.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37- OK, it's from that song. - Ah, French! French!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40- Very good.- What a wonderful world.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Third in the sequence would be science book,
0:14:42 > 0:14:44fourth would be French, or French I took.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47They are things from the Sam Cooke song Don't Know Much About.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Well calculated.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- Back to you, then, Cutters, to pick a question.- Twisted Flax, please.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56The Twisted Flax. What is the fourth in this sequence?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Time starts now.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Next.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15Next.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29Ten seconds.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35BUZZER
0:15:35 > 0:15:39- We're going to try 15. - For what reason?
0:15:39 > 0:15:43Er... Self-evident reasons.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48Because it goes 17.5, 15, 17.5, 15. That's the sequence.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53- Oh, THAT sequence?- We deduced it mathematically. We can't explain.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55You wouldn't understand!
0:15:55 > 0:15:57I'm afraid that's not the sequence we had in mind.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58A bonus chance for the Backhanders.
0:15:58 > 0:16:04It's VAT, we think. 17.5, 15, 17.5, so the fourth is 20%.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06That is exactly right.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10VAT rate percentages, up, and down like a bride's nightie. 20.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Only the super-rich would get that right.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16They said they were going to start cheating.
0:16:16 > 0:16:21- All right, then, Backhanders, your turn for a question.- Allison.- Water.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Fair enough, what is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Next.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43It's going to be one equals something at the end, isn't it?
0:16:43 > 0:16:47What is it? Avonmouth, Portsmouth. Falmouth?
0:16:49 > 0:16:54- Yes.- Shall we get the third one? - Yes, I think so.- Next.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Oh, Dover.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04- Five seconds.- How many? It's one that...- Two seconds.
0:17:04 > 0:17:05BUZZER
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- One equals Folkestone? - I'm afraid it doesn't.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Cutters, you have the chance of a bonus.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17- Is it one equals Calais? - That's not it either.
0:17:17 > 0:17:23This sequence is the termini or final destinations of A-roads
0:17:23 > 0:17:25if you're travelling from London.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28The A4 goes to Avonmouth, A3 to Portsmouth, A2 to Dover.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31One equals Edinburgh. A1 to Edinburgh.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35One final remaining question for the Cutters, it's the Two Reeds.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36These are going to be picture clues.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Time starts now.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Next.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57BUZZER
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- A boy.- That's absolutely right. Can you tell me the reason?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04One for sorrow, two for joy. Adamson. Three for a girl, four for a boy.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05That's right. Joy Adamson,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Van Gogh painting, Sorrow, there. Three for a girl,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11- four for a boy. - Ma-a-a-ag-pie!- There you are.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15The number of magpies and what they equate to in superstition.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- It was actually another low culture question!- It's true!
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Watching children's telly was worth it, wasn't it?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Looking at the scores, then, at the end of Round Two.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29The Backhanders have got a very creditable eight points,
0:18:29 > 0:18:31but the Cutters are ahead with 12.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37What's the time? Why, it's Connecting Wall o'clock.
0:18:37 > 0:18:3916 clues all jumbled up,
0:18:39 > 0:18:42which the teams must sort into four connected groups of four.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Your turn to go first this time, Cutters.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48I can offer you the choice, Lion or Water?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50We'd very much like Water, please.
0:18:50 > 0:18:56OK, you've got 2.5 minutes to solve the Water wall, starting now.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Cecil Rhodes, Cecil Beaton. - Greek islands.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Cecil Day-Lewis.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Ithaca?
0:19:08 > 0:19:09BUZZ
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- Shall we go for Beaton?- Yes. - Cecil Beaton, Cecil B DeMille.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Cecil Day-Lewis.- And Cecil Rhodes.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21- Cos lettuce?- Lollo Rosso. Iceberg. Let's do lettuces first.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26We know the Tom Stoppard plays as well, so do the lettuce.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Let's do the lettuce. Do we know the fourth lettuce?- Lollo Rosso.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31I don't know the fourth lettuce. Do you?
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Shall we do the others first? Let's do Arcadia.
0:19:34 > 0:19:39Let's do the Tom Stoppard plays. So that's Jumpers, Arcadia, Travesties.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40And Arcadia.
0:19:41 > 0:19:46- Three strikes and you're out now, be careful.- So we've got three.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52- It's Greek islands and salad, right? - Is that a salad?- Yes, it is, it is.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54They sell it my sandwich shop.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58Yeah, so Batavian is salad, Cos and Lollo Rosso. Yes!
0:19:58 > 0:20:01You've solved the wall in less than half the time.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02Excellent work, very good stuff.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04That's four points for the groups.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06You can get extra points for the connections.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10Rhodes, Beaton, DeMille, Day-Lewis.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- Famous Cecils. - They're famous Cecils.
0:20:13 > 0:20:19- What can you tell me about them? - Cecil Rhodes of Rhodesia fame.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Rhodes House in Oxford.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Cecil Beaton, glamour photographer and international sensation.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27- Cecil B DeMille.- He has an initial of B, yes.- Director.
0:20:27 > 0:20:33- And Cecil Day-Lewis, father of Daniel Day and Poet Laureate.- Yes.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35A perfect answer. They are all Cecils.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Next one, Travesties, Arcadia, The Real Thing, Jumpers.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- These are all plays by Tom Stoppard. - All plays by Tom Stoppard.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44You seemed quick on those, Samira. Are you a fan?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- I did my thesis on Tom Stoppard.- Ah.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50It would have been an awkward one for you
0:20:50 > 0:20:52if you hadn't got that right.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54They say university's a waste, look at this!
0:20:54 > 0:20:55Look where it's brought me, Victoria!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58- You got the Stoppard plays. - My mum's so proud.- And the next one.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Cos, Iceberg, Batavian, Lollo Rosso.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04These are all lettuces.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Yes, they are. Lettuces.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Batavian, whatever, is the only one Nick knows,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11cos he can buy it in his posh sandwich shop.
0:21:11 > 0:21:15- Yes.- In north London.- I had to ask them what it was only recently.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18I thought it was a cheese, but in fact it's a lettuce.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21And very tasteless, I would say, every one of them.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Every man jack of them, tasteless. Especially iceberg.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Four tasteless lettuces.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30And the last group, Ithaca, Paxos, Lefkada, Euboea.
0:21:31 > 0:21:36- We think these are Greek islands. - They're simply islands of Greece.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39So, you found all four groups, that's four points,
0:21:39 > 0:21:41you told me all four connections, that's four points.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44You get two extra points for getting it all right,
0:21:44 > 0:21:46that is the maximum of ten. Excellent stuff.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Time to bring in the Backhanders
0:21:48 > 0:21:50and see what they can do with the Connecting Wall.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53They will of course get 16 new clues, still jumbled up,
0:21:53 > 0:21:57still need sorting into those four connected groups of four.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Right, Backhanders, it's going to be the Lion wall for you.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05You've got 2.5 minutes to solve it, starting now.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Great Bear is a constellation. Big Dipper is a constellation.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12- The Plough.- Where's the fourth?
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Sylvester. Catherine Earnshaw?
0:22:19 > 0:22:23- Jane Eyre.- Jane Grey.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Jane...
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Tom? Tom Sawyer. What am I doing? Great Bear.
0:22:31 > 0:22:38- Definitely Big Dipper, Plough. - Jane Grey.- What's the final link?
0:22:38 > 0:22:43- Theatre.- Garfield? Is that a big name for a...- Plough.
0:22:43 > 0:22:48- Is Charles's Wain a constellation? - OK.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- Great Bear.- Plough.
0:22:55 > 0:23:02- OK.- Janes.- Jane Eyre, Jane Grey. No, no.- Is it Heathcliff, Eyre?
0:23:02 > 0:23:04These are the heroines of...
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- Earnshaw is Wuthering Heights. - Earnshaw is Wuthering Heights.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- Heathcliff.- You've used a minute.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Are these all the people in Wuthering Heights? No.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Sylvester...- Tom...
0:23:16 > 0:23:20- What is Tyre? What is Tyre? - Garfield's a cat. Sylvester's a cat.
0:23:20 > 0:23:24- Sylvester's a cat.- Yes. Theatre? Heathcliff is a cat.- Is it?- Yes.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26- And Tom is a cat.- OK.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Tom, Heathcliff, Sylvester and Garfield. OK, good.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- Three strikes and you're out now. - OK.- OK. Grey...
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Liquorice.- Jane Earnshaw? Is she? Jane Eyre.
0:23:36 > 0:23:42- Lady Jane Grey.- Yeah. Theatre. Liquorice. What about Snowe?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Shall we try Jane for Snowe?
0:23:44 > 0:23:50- Yeah.- What about Richard Eyre? Theatre? No?- Yeah, try that.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53You've solved the wall. Very well done.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55That's four points for the groups you found.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58We'll give you extra points for the connections.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01The first group, Great Bear, Charles's Wain, Big Dipper, Plough.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06They're constellations. In the stars.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08They are all the same constellation.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- Same constellation, different names.- Which one?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14The one that goes like this.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Yes, it's that one, Ursa Major. I knew you knew. Very good.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19So that's an extra point. And the next one.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22Tom, Sylvester, Heathcliff, Garfield.
0:24:22 > 0:24:28- They're all cats.- They're all cats, all cartoon cats.- Cartoon cats.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31And the next one, Earnshaw, Eyre, Grey, Snowe.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32They're all called Jane.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35- I'm afraid they are not all called Jane.- Richard?
0:24:35 > 0:24:39It's Catherine Earnshaw from Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre,
0:24:39 > 0:24:44Agnes Grey from that novel by Anne Bronte and Lucy Snowe from Villette.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47They're all Bronte heroines.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50They're all Bronte heroines, not all Janes. And the last group.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Now, this is a tricky one. Tyre, Liquorice, Cheque, Theatre.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57They're different in American, that's for sure.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Theatre is E-R, and cheque is C-K. And tyre is T-I-R-E.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04They're all English versions which are spelt different in American.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08That's what it is. They're all words that are spelt differently
0:25:08 > 0:25:10in American English than our UK English.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Very well done. That is four points for the groups that you found,
0:25:13 > 0:25:15three extra points for the connections,
0:25:15 > 0:25:16that's a total of seven points.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Let's see what that does to the scores going into Round Four.
0:25:20 > 0:25:26The Backhanders have got 15 points, but the Cutters are ahead with 22.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Yes, I've put on some towelling things
0:25:29 > 0:25:32to give everything a sporty flavour.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Have you remembered to make a donation? No excuses.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37If you forget you'll have to play the Connecting Wall in your pants.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39How will you do that?
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Well, if you go to our website you'll find
0:25:41 > 0:25:43a special Connecting Wall for Sport Relief.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I'm going to forget what I look like
0:25:45 > 0:25:49while we play Round Four, the missing vowels round,
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Well-known names, phrases or sayings
0:25:50 > 0:25:54from which we've removed the vowels, squidged up the consonants,
0:25:54 > 0:25:57and I want to know what those disguised clues are.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Fingers on buzzers, then.
0:25:59 > 0:26:04The first group are all things you may not sell on eBay.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- Cutters.- Swiss army knives.- Correct.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- Backhanders. - Party poppers.- Correct.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27- Backhanders?- Raw depleted uranium.- I tried. You can't sell it. Next clue.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33- Cutters.- Contact lenses.- Correct.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37Next category, Alan Partridge's format ideas.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46Don't remember this great idea? It's cooking in prison. Next clue.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57A miracle it's not on TV already. Cutters?
0:26:57 > 0:27:01- Arm wrestling with Chas and Dave? - Correct. Next clue.
0:27:08 > 0:27:13It's a natural for television, inner-city sumo. Next clue.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- Cutters?- Monkey tennis. - Of course, monkey tennis.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21Next category, Orange Prize for Fiction-winning authors.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- Cutters.- Lionel Shriver.- Yes, it is.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32- Backhanders?- Barbara Kingsolver? - Correct.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38- Backhanders?- Andrea Levy. - Yes, it is.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- Backhanders.- Zadie Smith.- Good work.
0:27:42 > 0:27:46Next category, famous wearers of swimsuits.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Cutters.- Bo Derek. - Correct. Next clue.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57FINAL WHISTLE
0:27:57 > 0:27:59I'm afraid you can't give me the answer.
0:27:59 > 0:28:05It is Betty Grable, but me blowing a whistle means the quiz is over.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Looking at the final scores, then,
0:28:08 > 0:28:11the Backhanders have got an excellent 20 points,
0:28:11 > 0:28:13but the winners with 28 are the Cutters.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16Very well done.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Very well done, all of you.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Excellent quizzing, I would say, all round.
0:28:20 > 0:28:26Thank you for watching, and so, Only Connect wheezes off the pitch,
0:28:26 > 0:28:27grasping for its inhaler,
0:28:27 > 0:28:30vowing that next time it'll bring a note from its mum.
0:28:30 > 0:28:34Please do give something to Sport Relief if you can. Goodbye.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd