0:00:22 > 0:00:24APPLAUSE
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Thank you very much indeed. Hello. I'm Alexander Armstrong,
0:00:28 > 0:00:32and a very warm welcome to a special Comic Relief edition of Pointless Celebrities,
0:00:32 > 0:00:34the quiz show where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47- And couple number one.- Uh...hello. I'm David. This is Andi.- Hi.
0:00:47 > 0:00:52I'm an actor and a comedian, and I don't normally feel quite this short.
0:00:52 > 0:00:58- Sorry about the heels! We're also recently separated conjoined twins. - Identical.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00So we need people to know that.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03- To be aware of that. Very good. - We're still healing.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Couple number two.- I'm Paul. This is Charlie.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10We are comedians, but we can't think of anything funny to say.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Apart from the fact that he's got the norovirus.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14LAUGHTER
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Couple number three.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19Hello. I'm Ben, and I used to be in a comedy double act.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21LAUGHTER
0:01:21 > 0:01:22That's debatable.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28He's gone up in the world, because now he's got me - Danny John-Jules.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30And couple number four.
0:01:30 > 0:01:35My name's Ed. I don't have the norovirus. I have the opposite of whatever the norovirus is,
0:01:35 > 0:01:37because there's nothing coming out this end at all.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44I'm Shappi, and I...I'm all right. I'm pregnant, but apart from that, I'm all right.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Brilliant. And these, ladies and gentlemen, are today's contestants.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:51 > 0:01:56Thank you all very much indeed. We'll be finding out more about all of you throughout the show.
0:01:56 > 0:02:01There's only one person left for me to introduce. Fighting fallacy like a shirtless drunk in a pub car park,
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- it's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.- Hi.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06APPLAUSE
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Hi.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14- I've got to say I'm very, very excited about today's episode of Pointless.- Yeah.
0:02:14 > 0:02:19- Because Ben Miller is here.- Yes.- Oh, I'm a fan of Ben Miller.- I know you are.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- Um, you used to do a show with Ben Miller, right?- I did, yes.- What was it called?
0:02:22 > 0:02:26- Armstrong And Miller.- Terrific. Because I used to watch it.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28I'm honestly a fan.
0:02:28 > 0:02:34But Ben...if I'm brutally frank with you, I mainly watched it for Ben,
0:02:34 > 0:02:35because I like the comedy bits.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42I like your bit, because you did the sort of slightly dour straight-man stuff.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44You know, "Oh, God, this is a bit depressing,"
0:02:44 > 0:02:48then Ben comes along... Boom, boom, punchline, punchline. Smashing it into the net.
0:02:48 > 0:02:54And then you think... When Ben does something, I'm laughing, just doubled up like that.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59And then I get a minute and a half where I can relax, cos you're on and you're doing something like...
0:02:59 > 0:03:02And you think, "Here he is, like the comedy Grim Reaper."
0:03:02 > 0:03:04That's me! That was... Yeah.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06APPLAUSE
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- They know it's true.- Traditional comedy Grim Reaper round of applause.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14I have to say, Richard, I do love your bits on this show.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17You know, the truth is, he makes it so easy.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20He leaves so much comic space.
0:03:21 > 0:03:22Listen, listen, listen.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26I'm going to bring this to a sorry end.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.
0:03:40 > 0:03:45As today's show is a Comic Relief special, we start off with a jackpot of £5,000. There we are.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47It's a lot more than normal.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Oh, yes!
0:03:51 > 0:03:53OK, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02In this first round, I will take an answer from each of you, but there is to be no conferring.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05And we really do mean that. No conferring at all.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round
0:04:08 > 0:04:10will be eliminated. Make sure that's not you.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12OK, our first category today is...
0:04:14 > 0:04:15Soundtracks.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20It's Soundtracks. Can you all decide who's going to go first and who's going to go second?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
0:04:28 > 0:04:34We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many official Bond theme songs as they could.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39- Official Bond theme songs. Richard. - We're looking for the title of any song
0:04:39 > 0:04:42that's been the official theme song to an official James Bond movie.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47So any song played over the opening credits of any official James Bond movie, please.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Very best of luck to everybody.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52You'd want to have one of Britain's leading James Bond experts on your team in this round.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- Yeah, wouldn't you, yeah?- Is that me?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Well, you've certainly got one on your team.- Oh, right, thanks.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Thanks very much. Andi, you're up first.- Yeah.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04- How are you, Andi?- Yeah, I'm all right. This is a tricky one, isn't it?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Are they all tricky?- Quite tricky.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Yeah. It's not too bad, though, is it? Did David volunteer you to go first?
0:05:10 > 0:05:15- He sort of stepped over there.- I stepped very quickly out the way.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19- OK.- He sort of dodged the bullet rather than, like, elected me!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21- I have confidence in you.- Thanks, babes.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Um...I tell you what I want to say, but I can't remember what it's called.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28Um...it's the one with Duran Duran.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Um...and I think it's either called Licence...
0:05:31 > 0:05:33No! View To A Kill.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37View To A Kill, says Andi. View To A Kill. Shall we see if that's right,
0:05:37 > 0:05:39and if it is, how many people said View To A Kill?
0:05:41 > 0:05:42It's right.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46It's still going down, Andi.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49That's a great answer. Look at that - 16!
0:05:50 > 0:05:52- Good!- This is a great score, Andi.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- OK.- 16 people said A View To A Kill.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59Well played, Andi. Good start. Reached Number Two in 1985, and it was the theme tune to...?
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- A View To A Kill.- Yeah.- You see what they did there?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04- The clue's in the name, isn't it?- In that one, yeah.- There we are.
0:06:04 > 0:06:10Excellent. Thank you very much indeed. Now, Charlie, you're an author these days, really.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Yes, I'm one of Britain's top authors.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14PAUL GUFFAWS
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Yeah, you are, you are!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Anyway, Charlie, we're looking for the titles of any official Bond themes.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23- You're going to have a great answer for this, I'm absolutely sure.- You'd better.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Well, no... I mean... No...
0:06:26 > 0:06:30I wish you hadn't done this, because I could look really stupid if we go out in the first round.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- With themes, that's fine.- I'll go for On An All Time High.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36On An All Time High.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41- Oh!- Says Charlie.- Oh!- On An All Time High. Let's see if that's right,
0:06:41 > 0:06:44and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said On An All Time High.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Oh, it's right.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52It's right. Oh, it's going to be a good one, I think, Charlie.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Wind it right down!
0:06:54 > 0:06:55It's pointless!
0:06:55 > 0:06:56APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- Well done, Charlie.- It's pointless.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02Charlie Higson has found a pointless answer. Only the second answer of the show.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07It adds £250 to today's jackpot, takes the total up to £5,250 and it scores you nothing. Very well done.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12Can I just apologise here for letting Charlie down in any other round now, OK?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I'm really sorry. Well done.
0:07:14 > 0:07:19- Very well played, Charlie. That was the theme tune to...?- Octopussy. - Absolutely right.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22- It was a huge Number 75 hit for Rita Coolidge.- Rita Coolidge!
0:07:22 > 0:07:25That's some proper Bond knowledge from Charlie.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Charlie's been very coy. His Young Bond novels are brilliant.
0:07:28 > 0:07:33- They are.- Genuinely. If you've got any teenage daughters or sons, they're absolutely fantastic.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35They're quite enjoyable even if you're not a teenager.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Oh, no, they're terrible if you're not a teenager. Have you read them?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39LAUGHTER
0:07:39 > 0:07:44Ben. Ben, welcome to Pointless. How brilliant to have you here.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47It's lovely to be here, I have to say. Slightly surreal.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- This is weird! Do you think?- A little bit.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Are you feeling...? Does it feel awkward, sort of...?
0:07:53 > 0:07:56I feel like I've slightly walked in on you.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58But in a good way.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Cos I'm going to join in.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Now then, Ben - Bond.- Oh, I just...
0:08:05 > 0:08:09I don't know. I mean, I feel like... Slim pickings, I feel.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Because I was obviously going to choose one of those two.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17However, I'm going to trust...put my faith in A-ha.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Um...
0:08:18 > 0:08:20And I'm going to say...
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- The Living Daylights.- Living Daylights, says Ben.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Living Daylights. Let's see if that's right, and if it is,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27let's see how many of our 100 said Living Daylights.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33It's absolutely right. 16 our high score, zero our low score.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Oh, smashing through that... Exactly halfway between.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39APPLAUSE
0:08:39 > 0:08:42You've bisected the score, Ben, with 8.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- The Living Daylights.- Very well played, Ben.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46From 1987, as you say, A-ha.
0:08:46 > 0:08:47So, we come to you, Shappi.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51- Welcome to Pointless, by the way. Lovely to have you here.- Thank you.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54So, any official Bond themes, that's what we're after.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56I think I'm going to go for Adele's one,
0:08:56 > 0:08:59# When the sky faaaalls And it crum-bllllles... #
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- That's the full title, isn't it? - Lovely.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Go on, give us the full title. - # Someone like yoooou... #
0:09:05 > 0:09:06What is the title, actually?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Sky...fall.- Skyfall. Skyfall, says Shappi.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Let's see if that's right, and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Skyfall.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20- 100?!- It's absolutely right.
0:09:22 > 0:09:2416... Ah, there we are.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26APPLAUSE
0:09:26 > 0:09:2739.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- 39 for Skyfall - quite a high one. - Well played, Shappi.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34High score but a correct answer. Much better than getting 100.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37We're halfway through the round. I'll do a brief recap of the scores.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40The very best score on that pass was Charlie's - nothing - up to 8,
0:09:40 > 0:09:41where we find Ben and Danny,
0:09:41 > 0:09:4316, where we find Andi and David,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45then 39, where Shappi and Ed are to be found.
0:09:45 > 0:09:50So, Ed, luckily I know you've got a good, low-scoring Bond theme somewhere there.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53We have to hope that's enough to keep you in the game. We'll come back down the line.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Can the second players please take their places at the podium?
0:09:58 > 0:10:02So, we are looking for the title of any official Bond theme song.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06Ed, welcome back. Listen, what happened last time you were on the show?
0:10:06 > 0:10:09I got to the Head To Head with Lucy Porter.
0:10:09 > 0:10:15Then...Hot Gossip were not a dance troupe on Top Of The Pops, so we were bounced out.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Now, Ed, you're the high scorers. We need a brilliant answer from you.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I'm hoping it'll be a good one, cos it's not the name of the film.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- But...- See how well it did for Charlie.- Yeah.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27You Know My Name.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30It was one Chris Cornell did for Casino Royale.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- You Know My Name.- Yeah.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- It's actually a really good song. - Oh, he's really good. - PAUL:- Nul points, mate.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40There's no red line for you, Ed, because you're the high scorers.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43Let's see. You Know My Name. Is it right? How many people said it if it is?
0:10:45 > 0:10:46It's right, Ed.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53Oh, 4!
0:10:53 > 0:10:55APPLAUSE
0:10:55 > 0:10:59Second best answer so far, Ed. Takes your score up to 43.
0:11:00 > 0:11:05That's a terrific answer, Ed. Very well played. Puts the pressure right back on everyone else.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09- Chris Cornell, ex-lead singer of Sound Garden. Number Seven hit with that.- Brilliant.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Now...Danny.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Danny John-Jules, good to have you here.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18What we need from you, Danny, is a really good low score.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20The high scorers on 43 are Ed and Shappi.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24If you can score 34 or less, you're through to the next round.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29I've got a choice of two that I know. Mmm.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Goldfinger, Shirley Bassey.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38I was just about to say, "Try and go for one that doesn't share its name with the film."
0:11:38 > 0:11:39But there we are!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I didn't say that.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- You've gone Goldfinger by Shirley Bassey.- There was two, but they're kind of both...
0:11:45 > 0:11:47names of the film.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52Well, there is your red line. If you go below that red line, through you go.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Goldfinger. Let's see how many people didn't say that.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Aaargh!
0:12:04 > 0:12:06It's not bad... Oh, 56.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09APPLAUSE
0:12:11 > 0:12:1356 takes your total up to 64, Danny.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16You're now the high scorers by a bit.
0:12:16 > 0:12:21It's quite a big score, Danny. It wasn't even a Top 20 hit in the UK.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26- Really?- No.- What - people just didn't like it?- I think they did. It's become a classic over the years.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29It was her only ever Top 40 hit in America.
0:12:29 > 0:12:35There we are. Right, OK. Now then, Paul, what about that? You're 63 points behind the high scorers.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40- Is that good?- Very good. If you can score 63 or less, you're in the next round.
0:12:40 > 0:12:46OK. Well, I'll go on the principle of choosing the song that's not the same as the title.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49And I'll go for Nobody Does It Better.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52Very good indeed, Paul. That's the one I would have gone for.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57Nobody Does It Better. There's your red line. You get below that, you're in Round Two. Nobody Does It Better.
0:12:57 > 0:12:58How many people said that?
0:13:00 > 0:13:01It's right.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03And you're through.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Go on! Down there.
0:13:06 > 0:13:0711.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09APPLAUSE
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Very well done indeed, Paul. 11, gives you a total of 11.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18- Well played, Paul. Paul and Charlie are going to be good, aren't they? - Yeah.- That's safe to say.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22It was the theme tune to The Spy Who Loved Me, of course, by Carly Simon.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26There we are. Now, David, the high scorers are Danny and Ben on 64.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29You're on 16. 47 or less will see you through to the next round.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Right, OK.- That's the kind of obscurity level.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Only one thing has scored more than 47, and that was Goldfinger.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Is this a Bond film...? A song...? GoldenEye?
0:13:40 > 0:13:43If you get below that red line, you are through to Round Two.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46GoldenEye. Will it get you there, David?
0:13:46 > 0:13:47I don't know. We'll see.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52- PAUL:- That's the point of the show, really, innit?- That's the nature of the game.
0:13:52 > 0:13:53We can all go home now.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00- It's absolutely right, David.- Come on!- Is it going to get you through?
0:14:00 > 0:14:01It's got you through! Look at that.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04Down it goes... 17.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05APPLAUSE
0:14:07 > 0:14:1017 takes your total up to 33.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15- Richard.- GoldenEye - a very good answer. Tina Turner, and the theme to GoldenEye.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- That's got to be one of the worst Bond songs.- Pretty awful.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Is there one called Another Way To Die?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23There IS one called Another Way To Die. That would've been a terrific answer.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26That's the only one left not named after the film.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30The theme to Quantum Of Solace. Jack White and Alicia Keys. Would have scored one point.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32There are two pointless answers up here.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35We've already heard All Time High from Charlie.
0:14:35 > 0:14:40The other one is John Barry Orchestra - On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42That would have been a pointless answer.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Another Way To Die would have scored 1 point. Tomorrow Never Dies would have scored 1 point too.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50The World Is Not Enough would've scored 2. You Know My Name, 4 - we've heard that.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Moonraker, 5. Let's look at the three highest scorers.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56We'll recognise a couple. Shappi gave us Skyfall, 39.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59And second was Diamonds Are Forever, 43.
0:14:59 > 0:15:04And Danny - right up the top there. Goldfinger, with 56.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Well, thanks very much indeed, Richard.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08So at the end of our first round,
0:15:08 > 0:15:10the losing pair with their high score of 64 -
0:15:10 > 0:15:11it's not that high a score -
0:15:11 > 0:15:13but everyone else scored hardly anything.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Are you pleased that Ben's new partner got the biggest score and got them knocked out?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Are you secretly a bit pleased?- I'm not, actually.
0:15:20 > 0:15:25Afterwards, will you be going, "No, I liked him. He was a lovely guy, but...Goldfinger?!"
0:15:30 > 0:15:34Well, there we are. Danny, Ben, I'm really sorry but we have to say goodbye. It's ridiculous!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Oh, man!- Such a waste. We've got you here and now we send you away.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I'm so sorry, but Goldfinger did it for you.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43As they say on talent shows, thank you for the opportunity.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Danny and Ben, thanks very much for playing - brilliant contestants!
0:15:48 > 0:15:50- Thank you!- Bye, everyone!
0:15:50 > 0:15:53But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02No, Comic Relief cash transforms the lives of vulnerable people
0:16:02 > 0:16:04both here in the UK and across Africa.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06If you'd like to make a donation,
0:16:06 > 0:16:08or find out more about how to get involved in Red Nose Day,
0:16:08 > 0:16:10just go to the website...
0:16:13 > 0:16:16Sadly, at the end of this round, another pair will have to leave us.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19It all gets more competitive this round.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23Yes! Charlie and Paul looking very pleased with themselves after that round.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Lovely low score of 11.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29But the others are just as determined. Oh, yes! All to play for.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Best of luck to all three pairs.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Our category for Round Two is...
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Novels.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37Can you all decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46OK. And the question concerns...
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Book plots.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Book plots, Richard.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53On each pass, we'll show you the condensed plot of six books.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56You just need to tell us the name of that book, please.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59If it's part of a trilogy, just give us the first in that trilogy.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02So, six condensed book plots - tell us the name of the books.
0:17:02 > 0:17:0412 in all to have a go at at home. Good luck.
0:17:04 > 0:17:09Let's reveal our six book plots. Here they come. We have got...
0:17:34 > 0:17:37I'll read those all again one last time, without the dates.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57There we are. Six book plots
0:17:57 > 0:17:59condensed into a handful of words.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- David.- Hello.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03David, what do you think of that?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07I think it's interesting and would make a good round in a quiz show.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09LAUGHTER
0:18:09 > 0:18:12Yeah, I'm frustrated because I know five of them,
0:18:12 > 0:18:15and the one I don't know is the hard one,
0:18:15 > 0:18:21and that... So, which out of the five that are fairly obvious
0:18:21 > 0:18:23would be...?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Am I condescending? Does that sound patronising?
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Fairly obvious?! To me, mate!
0:18:28 > 0:18:30All right, good. Um...
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Er... Oh!
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Um...
0:18:36 > 0:18:40I'll go for The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, says David.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Which one?- The Pevensies.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45The Pevensies. There we are.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48David says The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said that.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53It's right.
0:18:57 > 0:18:5936.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01I don't think that's a bad score, David.
0:19:01 > 0:19:0436 for The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Written by CS Lewis, of course.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10- There we are. Now, Charlie.- Yeah.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- Charlie.- I'm with David that, yes, some of them are
0:19:14 > 0:19:16more obvious that others. I'm going to take a punt.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18I'm not convinced...not 100% sure,
0:19:18 > 0:19:22but I'm going to go for the "Someone killed Wellington".
0:19:22 > 0:19:25I'm going to say...
0:19:25 > 0:19:27The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time, says Charlie
0:19:30 > 0:19:31for "Someone killed Wellington".
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Let's see if that's right, and if it is,
0:19:33 > 0:19:36let's see how many people said The Curious Incident...etc.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39It's a punt, but it's correct.
0:19:39 > 0:19:4236 our low score at the moment.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Stormed through that.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Look at that, Charlie! Well done. 2.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48APPLAUSE
0:19:50 > 0:19:55- That's a cracking score - 2 for The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time.- Isn't Charlie good?
0:19:55 > 0:19:56- Isn't Charlie good, Paul?- Very good.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00I mean, he's a joy, really. I'm surfing on his coat-tails.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03But he's done that for years with me and comedy.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- So it's finally payback, right?- Yeah.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Absolutely right. Very good answer,
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Wellington being the dog in question. Written by Mark Haddon.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- A terrific book, if you've never read it.- Now, Shappi...
0:20:14 > 0:20:17You're the last person to have this board, so you can talk us through it, if you like.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20All right. Well, I'm going to just go... I'm going to do
0:20:20 > 0:20:23what I did with Dr Who...not Dr Who! James Bond.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29..and just go for something I know a lot of people would think
0:20:29 > 0:20:33but at least it won't be 100 cos I've got it wrong.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35And I reckon...
0:20:35 > 0:20:37sadly...
0:20:37 > 0:20:41less people would know that the second one is Alice In Wonderland.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44So that is the one you're going to go for?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- I believe so.- Shappi's going to say Alice In Wonderland
0:20:47 > 0:20:48for "Alice falls down rabbit hole".
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Let's see if that's right, and if it is,
0:20:50 > 0:20:52how many people said Alice In Wonderland.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54It's right.
0:20:54 > 0:20:5736 was our high score. 75 now is.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:21:00 > 0:21:01- Ooh, that's high.- That is high.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03It was actually published under the title
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Alice's Adventures In Wonderland.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09It gives Ed an awful lot to do, but if anyone can do it, it's Ed, I suspect.
0:21:09 > 0:21:14Let's go through the rest of these. The top one is actually a very low scorer.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I suspect a lot of people said Lord Of The Rings.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18And it's The Hobbit.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20It would only have scored 11 points.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Ah!
0:21:22 > 0:21:25"Bella meets a vampire called Edward" is, of course, Twilight.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26That would have scored you 40.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30And "Tess loves Angel, Alec wants Tess, Tess kills Alec" -
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- the clue's in the...- It is indeed. - Tess Of The D'Urbervilles.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35That would have scored you 4 points - a great answer.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37An idiot could have guessed that!
0:21:37 > 0:21:41Thanks very much. Halfway through the round, let's take a look at the scores.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Charlie and Paul once again looking fantastically strong.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45- I ain't done anything.- On 2.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Up to 36, where we find David and Andi, then up to 75
0:21:48 > 0:21:49Shappi and Ed.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Sorry, can I just have a moment to kick myself?
0:21:52 > 0:21:54- Yeah.- Anyone could have guessed Tess Of The D'Urbervilles
0:21:54 > 0:21:56if they'd looked at the date.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59- Sorry.- Can't get through to the Head To Head every time.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- PAUL:- Casting back to your past glories, Ed?
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Ed, you get pick of the first board.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08If you get a nice low-scoring answer on that, everything might be fine.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Can the second players please take their places at the podium?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17OK, we'll put six more plots on the board.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Our next board reads like this...
0:22:46 > 0:22:47I'll read those all one last time.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15We're looking for the titles of the novels described by these clues.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17And...Ed.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- DAVID:- As a bloke with a big nose, isn't it "conch", not "conk"?
0:23:20 > 0:23:23As I said it the second time, I think it is "conch".
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Yes!
0:23:24 > 0:23:26I've just always said "conk".
0:23:26 > 0:23:30- I'm not going to change now! - It's back to the playground.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Oh, I'm sorry.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Ed.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36You've got a bit of a job to do.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38The only one I don't know is the Cuthberts.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40The 1908 one.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42But it's a question of...
0:23:42 > 0:23:45which one is the lowest of the rest of them.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Yeah.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49I'll go with the boys crashing on an island - Lord Of The Flies.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Lord Of The Flies, says Ed. Let's see if it's right. No red line for you - you're the high scorers.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56But how many people said Lord Of The Flies?
0:23:58 > 0:23:59It's right.
0:24:03 > 0:24:0445.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05APPLAUSE
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Takes your total up to 120.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Written by William Golding.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Won the 1983 Nobel Prize For Literature as well.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Lord Of The Flies.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15OK. There we are. Now, then, Paul.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18You're through to the Head To Head, by the way.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Oh.- Even if you score 100 points,
0:24:20 > 0:24:24you won't overtake Ed and Shappi's high score of 120.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Um...
0:24:26 > 0:24:29It's probably very popular, but I'll go for 1984.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33- 1984.- It was written in 1948, and he was actually describing
0:24:33 > 0:24:36state capitalism as it existed at the time,
0:24:36 > 0:24:39at the end of the Second World War.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Not an imagined...er...society in the future.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45He was parodying what actually existed at the time.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48No extra points for that.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- All right. Which one, Paul?- The top one.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Top one. Winston. Exactly.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56OK. No red line - you're already through.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Is it right? How many people said 1984?
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Wow!
0:25:07 > 0:25:0913.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10APPLAUSE
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- 13 takes your total to 15. - Unbelievably low score.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18- Isn't it?- For 1984.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- Ed, did you think about going with that?- I did.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Everyone I thought would know Room 101, thought crime...
0:25:23 > 0:25:27Couple of interesting things about 1984.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31It was written in 1948. Actually, it was a parody of state capitalism
0:25:31 > 0:25:32as it was at the time.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36It wasn't some parable of an imagined future.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39He was literally looking at what he could see around him at the time.
0:25:39 > 0:25:40Say what you see, George.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43I'm slightly surprised Paul didn't mention that.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Andi.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49So here are the condensed plots. What are the novels?
0:25:49 > 0:25:52OK. I'm going to go for...
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Hitchhiker's Guide, because...
0:25:54 > 0:26:00I'm guessing that, say if you asked 100 people, 51% of them will be women
0:26:00 > 0:26:02on the other one. So they'd all know that one.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Show your thinking, Andi. It's good to know.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07I know you want to see my workings-out here.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Yeah, my thinking is Hitchhiker's Guide.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Can I have the full title of the book?
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Um... The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - A Trilogy In Four Parts.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19There you go. OK.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Just say which one it is so we know...
0:26:21 > 0:26:24"Arthur Dent's planet is destroyed."
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Arthur Dent. Now, you're on 36. You want to be scoring 83 or less.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29All right.
0:26:29 > 0:26:30Here's your red line.
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Let's find out if that's right,
0:26:31 > 0:26:33and how many people said it. Hitchhiker's Guide.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Absolutely right, and you're through. Very well done.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44- Oh, yeah.- 30.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46APPLAUSE
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Takes your total up to 66.
0:26:49 > 0:26:50Another low score. Amazingly, Ed,
0:26:50 > 0:26:54Lord Of The Flies the biggest scorer on the board. Tough luck for you.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Well, that speaks well for the people of Britain, then.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Let's take a look at the rest of these.
0:27:01 > 0:27:05Anastasia Steele meets Christian Grey - that is 50 Shades Of Grey.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07That would have scored 37.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10I had a call yesterday. They would like you and I to do the audio book.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12LAUGHTER
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Who do you want to be - Christian or Anastasia?- I'll take Anastasia, yeah.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18I'll be Christian again.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23"Henry has chrono-displacement..." - did you know that one, Ed?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25The Time Traveler's Wife.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27It is. Would have scored 4 points.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29The best answer on the board is a pointless answer.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32"The Cuthberts adopt a girl"... Do you know that?
0:27:32 > 0:27:34- Is it Secret Garden?- It's not, but very well done...
0:27:34 > 0:27:37- You're useless, Charlie!- It's in that area.
0:27:37 > 0:27:41Not a million miles away. It's Anne Of Green Gables. ALL: Ah!
0:27:41 > 0:27:42Very well done if you said that.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47At the end of Round Two, our losing pair, with a high score of 120...
0:27:47 > 0:27:50Oh, Ed and Shappi, I'm really sorry. Oh, dear.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52I'm so sorry.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54We can just blame Shappi for this.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57- Yeah!- It makes it a bit easier, doesn't it?
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Ed, we'll have to get you back on.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Shappi, we'll have to get you back on.
0:28:00 > 0:28:02"Shappi, we'll never see you again!"
0:28:02 > 0:28:06Thank you very much for playing. Ed and Shappi - brilliant contestants!
0:28:06 > 0:28:08APPLAUSE
0:28:09 > 0:28:12But the two remaining pairs are getting one step closer to the final
0:28:12 > 0:28:15and the chance of taking home that jackpot for Comic Relief
0:28:15 > 0:28:16as we enter the Head To Head.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25Congratulations, Charlie and Paul, Andi and David. You're only one round away from the final
0:28:25 > 0:28:30and the chance to play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £5,250.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37Obviously, only one pair can play for that money, so we've got to decide which pair it's going to be.
0:28:37 > 0:28:40To do that, we're going to go Head To Head.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42This time, you are allowed to confer,
0:28:42 > 0:28:46and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the Head To Head.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Here comes your first question, and it concerns...
0:28:57 > 0:29:00Striped world flags.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- Oh!- We're about to show you five images now of flags of the world.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07You just need to tell us which countries they represent, please.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10OK, let's reveal our five flags. And here they come.
0:29:10 > 0:29:11We have got...
0:29:27 > 0:29:29There we are. Five flags. Charlie and Paul,
0:29:29 > 0:29:32you've played best throughout the show, so you get to go first.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36- Oh, right, OK...- Oh, dear.- Neither of us are experts on flags.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Hopeless.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39- Go on, you...- No, you say.- No, you say it.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42- No, cos you know it.- No...
0:29:42 > 0:29:44Aw, it don't work now!
0:29:44 > 0:29:45You've broken it.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47You've knocked the whole thing off!
0:29:47 > 0:29:48Stop!
0:29:48 > 0:29:51Just trying to get into the Comic Relief spirit. There we are!
0:29:53 > 0:29:54LAUGHTER
0:29:58 > 0:30:00- Eh?- Go for...- What? Go on, then.
0:30:00 > 0:30:05We're going to go for a really awful answer. We're going to go for...
0:30:05 > 0:30:06A - Italy.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08A - Italy.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10A - Italy, say Charlie and Paul.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12Andi and David.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14Tell us about all these flags.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16Give us an answer for each, if you like.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20Well, we think that A is actually Ireland.
0:30:20 > 0:30:21Oh, no!
0:30:21 > 0:30:23LAUGHTER
0:30:23 > 0:30:26We think that C is Germany...
0:30:28 > 0:30:29E might be... Well, it's either...
0:30:29 > 0:30:32France does have those colours, but it might be Holland.
0:30:33 > 0:30:34Er...
0:30:34 > 0:30:37No idea on B or D.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40B and D... B, I think, is... I would say it's a Baltic country,
0:30:40 > 0:30:42but I don't know which one.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Er...but I think we should play it safe and go A - Ireland.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47You say A - Ireland.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49You're rubbing it in, eh?
0:30:49 > 0:30:51A - Ireland.
0:30:51 > 0:30:52What if it's Italy?!
0:30:52 > 0:30:54OK, so Charlie and Paul said Italy for A.
0:30:54 > 0:30:58- Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.- Oh, don't!
0:30:58 > 0:30:59- CHARLIE:- Come on, Italy!
0:31:00 > 0:31:02No.
0:31:02 > 0:31:03It's not Italy.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07So, Andi and David, you just have to be correct with the Republic of Ireland.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Let's see if that's right - Ireland.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13It's absolutely right. Very well done.
0:31:15 > 0:31:1650 people knew that.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20But it means, Andi and David,
0:31:20 > 0:31:22after one question, you are up 1-0.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24- Very well done.- Can I ask a question?- Yes, you can.
0:31:24 > 0:31:29I just wondered if it was just alliteration on my part, but is D Denmark?
0:31:29 > 0:31:32I tell you what, why don't we go through them all?
0:31:32 > 0:31:35How about that? A is Republic of Ireland.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38The Italian flag is red rather than range.
0:31:38 > 0:31:39Anyone got any ideas for B?
0:31:39 > 0:31:42- CHARLIE:- Is it something like the Czech Republic?
0:31:42 > 0:31:44- It's something like the Czech Republic.- Slovakia?
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- It's something like Slovakia, as well.- Slovenia?
0:31:46 > 0:31:49- It's something like Slovenia. - Montenegro.
0:31:49 > 0:31:50It's Bulgaria.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52ANDI: I was going to say that!
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Bulgaria. Alliteration!
0:31:54 > 0:31:56And that would have scored you 2.
0:31:56 > 0:31:57Exactly - works on that one.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00- C - what would you say?- Germany. - Germany.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Yeah, Belgium. Well done.
0:32:04 > 0:32:09You have to listen, Richard, cos when I say Germany...
0:32:09 > 0:32:11It was debatable in 1939.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Now, D - what do we think?
0:32:15 > 0:32:16We were thinking it was Denmark.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19They're red and white, their football team.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21They are red and white, but that's Austria.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24That would have scored 9.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27- And E? DAVID:- Is it France?
0:32:27 > 0:32:29It is France, yes.
0:32:29 > 0:32:30That's what I said.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32And that would have scored 60 points.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36So the best answer up there is Bulgaria,
0:32:36 > 0:32:37but judging by what happened here,
0:32:37 > 0:32:40anyone who got any flag at all at home, well played.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48- Charlie and Paul, you have to win this one to stay in the game. - Yeah.- Yeah.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Best of luck. It concerns...
0:32:51 > 0:32:53Comic Relief.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57Now, here is somebody who knows much more about Comic Relief than I do
0:32:57 > 0:33:00to explain to you what the round involves and what the questions are.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03Hello, Xander. Hello, Richard.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Thank you so much for doing this Pointless extravaganza
0:33:06 > 0:33:09to raise money for Comic Relief.
0:33:09 > 0:33:14All the money will, as usual, go to save and change lives,
0:33:14 > 0:33:16so I hope you make as much as possible.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20Here are five incredibly important questions
0:33:20 > 0:33:24for you to ask, all related to Red Nose Day in some way.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26First...
0:33:26 > 0:33:32What year was Comic Relief launched live on BBC1?
0:33:32 > 0:33:33Second...
0:33:33 > 0:33:38Who was the singer who duetted with The Young Ones
0:33:38 > 0:33:42on the first ever Comic Relief single in 1986?
0:33:42 > 0:33:43Third...
0:33:43 > 0:33:46What's the name of the Blue Peter presenter who,
0:33:46 > 0:33:50with insane bravery,
0:33:50 > 0:33:55tightroped between the twin towers of Battersea Power Station
0:33:55 > 0:33:57in 2011?
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Next, who was the Hollywood star
0:34:00 > 0:34:04who put in a special appearance in the 1999 Red Nose Night special
0:34:04 > 0:34:06of The Vicar Of Dibley?
0:34:06 > 0:34:08And finally...
0:34:08 > 0:34:11This is in many ways the toughest of the five.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14Um...what colour is the nose
0:34:14 > 0:34:17that is traditionally sold
0:34:17 > 0:34:20in order to raise money for Red Nose Day?
0:34:20 > 0:34:24I hope you have a fun show.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28And we look forward to receiving the money and spending it wisely.
0:34:28 > 0:34:29Thank you very much indeed.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31APPLAUSE
0:34:33 > 0:34:36There we are. Here are those questions again.
0:34:58 > 0:34:59There we go.
0:34:59 > 0:35:04Five questions about Comic Relief. Andi and David, you go first this time.
0:35:04 > 0:35:05- Well...- Blinking heck.- Yeah.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09- OK, going to... Can I say, rather than...?- OK.
0:35:09 > 0:35:14Um... Well, hope it's right. I think the singer was Cliff Richard.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16OK, you're going to say Cliff Richard.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19The singer who performed the first Comic Relief single
0:35:19 > 0:35:20with The Young Ones in 1986.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22Now, Charlie and Paul, what are you going to go for?
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Well, we know the colour of the nose,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27cos it's the same colour as one of the stripes on the Irish flag.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34- We're going to go for the Hollywood actor.- Are we?
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Yes, because he's a very dear friend of ours.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40Marvellous! They're all friends of mine.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42Wonderful people! Marvellous.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44And we think it's...
0:35:44 > 0:35:46- We hope it's Johnny Depp.- Johnny Depp.- Johnny Depp,
0:35:46 > 0:35:50say Charlie and Paul. So we have Cliff Richard and Johnny Depp.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Andi and David say Cliff Richard.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.
0:35:57 > 0:35:58It's absolutely right.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Blimey! 83.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02APPLAUSE
0:36:02 > 0:36:0383 for Cliff Richard.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Charlie and Paul have gone for Johnny Depp.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10Let's see if it's right and let's see how many people said Johnny Depp.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14Absolutely right.
0:36:14 > 0:36:15And it wins it.
0:36:19 > 0:36:2218 for Johnny Depp. Very well done, Charlie and Paul.
0:36:22 > 0:36:24Back in the game. It's 1-1.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29Charlie and Paul, that was the best answer up there. Best answer you could have given.
0:36:29 > 0:36:30The year Comic Relief...
0:36:30 > 0:36:32ANDI: Can I have a guess?
0:36:32 > 0:36:34You can definitely have a guess.
0:36:34 > 0:36:35Was it '87?
0:36:35 > 0:36:38If I was to give you another guess, what would you say?
0:36:38 > 0:36:39'88?
0:36:39 > 0:36:41If I were to say have another guess...?
0:36:41 > 0:36:43ANDI: '86?
0:36:43 > 0:36:45- 1985.- Correct answer. Well done.
0:36:45 > 0:36:4721 points, that would have scored you.
0:36:47 > 0:36:51The Blue Peter presenter was Helen Skelton.
0:36:51 > 0:36:52Would have scored you 20 points.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56And the usual colour of the nose was red. Would have scored you 46...
0:36:56 > 0:36:58Would have scored you 100 points.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Here comes the third question.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05This is the decider. Whoever wins this goes through to the final
0:37:05 > 0:37:07and plays for that jackpot for Comic Relief.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09And our third question concerns...
0:37:10 > 0:37:12- Herbs.- Hurray!- There you go.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14- Herbs.- At last!
0:37:14 > 0:37:18- My subject!- And it gets better, Paul.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21It gets better, cos we're going to show you the names of five herbs,
0:37:21 > 0:37:22but in anagram form.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26- Oh!- Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure?
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Everyone loves word games, right?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31Let's reveal our five anagrams of herbs. Here they come. We have got...
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Now then, Charlie and Paul, you go first this time again.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49THEY WHISPER
0:37:52 > 0:37:55We're going to go for the bottom one,
0:37:55 > 0:37:58because it's probably not as well known as a herb.
0:37:58 > 0:38:01We're going to go for nasturtium.
0:38:01 > 0:38:02Nasturtium.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05Nasturtium, say Charlie and Paul.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07- Charlie, really.- Andi and David.
0:38:07 > 0:38:12Yeah, um, well... I can't get the second one.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14The second one's the one I'd really like to get,
0:38:14 > 0:38:16cos that one looks difficult.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20That's the only one that's got any chance of beating nasturtium.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23Shall we go for the top one?
0:38:23 > 0:38:24- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:38:24 > 0:38:29Sort of grudgingly. Well, we'll go for the top one,
0:38:29 > 0:38:31which is, we think, tarragon.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34Tarragon, say Andi and David. Arrogant for tarragon.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36So, Charlie and Paul have said nasturtium.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Let's see if nasturtium's right and let's see how many people said it.
0:38:39 > 0:38:40Nasturtium.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50Oh, very well done! They got six.
0:38:50 > 0:38:51Very well done, Charlie.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53APPLAUSE
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Nasturtium. Andi and David have gone for tarragon. Arrogant - tarragon.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07Well, it's right. 6 is...
0:39:07 > 0:39:08Oh, no, it's not going to beat 6.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10APPLAUSE
0:39:10 > 0:39:14- Bad luck, Andi and David.- We didn't even get a chance to get into it.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16Yes, cos it wasn't a good answer.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Very well done, Charlie and Paul. After three questions,
0:39:19 > 0:39:21you're through to the final, 2-1.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23You're absolutely right, Andi and David,
0:39:23 > 0:39:25that "lamer songs" would have won you the point.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28It would have seen you through to the final. The other two first.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31"Bails" is basil.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33That's a very big scorer - would have scored you 92 points.
0:39:33 > 0:39:37- "Replays" is...- Parsley.- Parsley. Absolutely right.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39That would have scored you 45.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41And "lamer songs" would have scored you 2 points.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Very well done anyone at home...
0:39:43 > 0:39:44- What IS it?!- ..who said... - The suspense!
0:39:44 > 0:39:46Lemongrass.
0:39:46 > 0:39:47ALL: Oh!
0:39:47 > 0:39:50- Look at that. Lemongrass.- Wouldn't have got it.
0:39:50 > 0:39:53That's one of the more popular herbs, as well, these days.
0:39:53 > 0:39:57The losing pair at the end of the Head To Head, I'm afraid it's Andi and David.
0:39:57 > 0:40:01- We should have done better.- We say goodbye to you, but it's been great having you on the show.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Andi and David - fantastic contestants. Thanks for playing.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05APPLAUSE
0:40:05 > 0:40:06- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11But for Charlie and Paul, it's now time for our Pointless final.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18Congratulations, Charlie and Paul. You fought off all the competition
0:40:18 > 0:40:21and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy, so very well done.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for Comic Relief,
0:40:30 > 0:40:34and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £5,250.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35APPLAUSE
0:40:38 > 0:40:42You've done so well! You've been our lowest scorers in every single round.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44A pointless answer from you, Charlie,
0:40:44 > 0:40:46- All Time High.- Yes.
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Well, we got off to a good start there.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50Let's hope we can maintain it.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52- It's all been brilliant, apart from the Italian flag.- Flags.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55And I hear you have a house in Italy, Charlie.
0:40:55 > 0:40:56Yes, I do.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58Not any more!
0:40:58 > 0:41:02The rules are very simple. To win that money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Do that and you'll go home with that money for Comic Relief.
0:41:04 > 0:41:08Firstly, you have to choose a category. Here are your five options. They are...
0:41:16 > 0:41:18That's not a good list! Can we have another, please?
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Yeah, another list, please.
0:41:20 > 0:41:21Of different categories.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23- Royal families... Oh, God!- Nah.
0:41:23 > 0:41:24While they're deliberating,
0:41:24 > 0:41:28if you want to give any money to Comic Relief, go to...
0:41:31 > 0:41:33You'll find all the details there.
0:41:33 > 0:41:34What's it going to be?
0:41:34 > 0:41:35We could go for Number Ones,
0:41:35 > 0:41:38cos it'd be more fun for the people at home playing along.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Going, "You idiots! Don't you know that?!"
0:41:40 > 0:41:42- We'll go for Number Ones.- Number Ones.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47We gave 100 people 100 seconds
0:41:47 > 0:41:49to name as many UK Number One singles
0:41:49 > 0:41:52with one-word titles as they could.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Well, that's fun...isn't it?!
0:41:54 > 0:41:55Oh, God!
0:41:55 > 0:41:57UK Number One singles with one-word titles.
0:41:57 > 0:42:03- Richard.- Yes, we're looking for any UK Number One single between January 1970 and September 2012, please.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06Any UK Number One single that has just a one-word title.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Can be a double A-side single, anything like that. Don't need to know the band.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Just need to know that one word of the title.
0:42:12 > 0:42:13Very, very best of luck.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16OK, you have up to one minute to come up with three answers.
0:42:16 > 0:42:19All you need to win that £5,250 for Comic Relief
0:42:19 > 0:42:21is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25Can we just...? I can't even think of single Number One now!
0:42:25 > 0:42:26Never mind one-word ones.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28- Are you ready?- Yes.- No!- Yes.- No.
0:42:28 > 0:42:30OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32There they are. Your time starts now.
0:42:32 > 0:42:37- I have no idea.- Well... Clive Dunn. - Grandad!
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- Yes.- That's in there. Think there might be another few,
0:42:40 > 0:42:42but that's one I can think of.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44Grandad. I really can't think of any.
0:42:44 > 0:42:45Um...well, come on.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48Well, I can't! I don't...
0:42:48 > 0:42:49Er...what about...?
0:42:49 > 0:42:52Ooh, did Vienna get to Number One, or was it held off?
0:42:52 > 0:42:54It was held off by something, I'm sure.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57- Shaddap You Face. That's not one word.- It's one word in Italian or Irish.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00I can only think of one - it's Grandad!
0:43:00 > 0:43:01THEY LAUGH
0:43:01 > 0:43:04- How many have we got to get?- Three.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05Oh...
0:43:05 > 0:43:07And one of them no-one else has got to know.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Er...
0:43:09 > 0:43:10Any recently...?
0:43:12 > 0:43:14- Went to Number One...- Come on, help us out!
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Shout it out - it's for charity!
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Are we going to go with one answer? Right...
0:43:20 > 0:43:23- We should have let David win.- Yeah, he'd know this.- Ten seconds left.
0:43:23 > 0:43:25No.
0:43:25 > 0:43:29- We ain't even got a hope.- Our minds have gone completely blank.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31We've got one answer, and it's rubbish.
0:43:31 > 0:43:33Probably didn't even get to Number One.
0:43:33 > 0:43:37There is time up. We were looking for UK Number One singles with one-word titles.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39I now need three answers from you.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42If you have to, you can just make up one-word answers.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46I can't even think of one word now!
0:43:46 > 0:43:48I can only think of two.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52- We'll go with Grandad. That'll be one of them.- OK, Grandad.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54And...
0:43:54 > 0:43:56Albatross.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Albatross. OK, we'll take Albatross.
0:43:58 > 0:44:01- Waterloo.- Waterloo. There we are.
0:44:01 > 0:44:02Brilliant.
0:44:02 > 0:44:06OK, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?
0:44:06 > 0:44:07Um...
0:44:07 > 0:44:09- Grandad, I would think.- Well, probably Grandad.
0:44:09 > 0:44:14- We'll put Grandad last. Which is your least likely...?- Albatross. - ALL TALK AT ONCE
0:44:14 > 0:44:17We'll put Albatross first.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20- OK, let's pop them up on the board in that order.- Top 'em up!
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Here they are. We have got...
0:44:26 > 0:44:28I'm like an albatross around your neck, aren't I?
0:44:28 > 0:44:30We've finally met our Waterloo.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32Do something with Grandad!
0:44:33 > 0:44:34There he is.
0:44:34 > 0:44:38OK, we're looking for UK Number One singles with one-word titles.
0:44:38 > 0:44:41Albatross was your least confident shot at a pointless answer.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Only one of those has to be pointless
0:44:43 > 0:44:46for you to win that jackpot of £5,250 for Comic Relief.
0:44:46 > 0:44:48OK, so let's see. Albatross - is it right?
0:44:48 > 0:44:50How many people said it?
0:44:54 > 0:44:55No. Bad luck.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58Albatross - an incorrect answer, as it turns out.
0:44:58 > 0:45:03We only have two more chances to win today's jackpot, but two really good answers now.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05I think we're on to proper correct answer territory here.
0:45:05 > 0:45:10We're looking for UK Number One singles with one-word titles. Let's hope nobody said Waterloo.
0:45:10 > 0:45:14It has to be right, and it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.
0:45:14 > 0:45:18So, for £5,250, let's see how many people said Waterloo.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Well, it's right.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26Albatross, your first answer, an incorrect answer.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29Waterloo, on the other hand, very much a correct answer.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Down it goes to the teens...
0:45:31 > 0:45:33into single figures, still going down...
0:45:33 > 0:45:34Oh, 5!
0:45:34 > 0:45:35Brutal!
0:45:35 > 0:45:36APPLAUSE
0:45:40 > 0:45:43There we are. This is good. It's a big improvement on the first answer.
0:45:43 > 0:45:48OK, we're looking for UK Number One singles with one-word titles. Your third answer was Grandad.
0:45:48 > 0:45:52You said this was your most confident shot at that jackpot of £5,250.
0:45:52 > 0:45:56Obviously, it has to be pointless for you to win that, so let's find out.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Grandad - is it a pointless answer? Was it a Number One?
0:46:02 > 0:46:04It's absolutely right.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07Now then. Albatross - completely wrong.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10Waterloo took us all the way down to 5.
0:46:10 > 0:46:11Grandad, though?
0:46:11 > 0:46:12Down it takes us...
0:46:12 > 0:46:14to single figures, down it goes...
0:46:14 > 0:46:15Oh, no!
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Oh!
0:46:17 > 0:46:19APPLAUSE
0:46:21 > 0:46:221!
0:46:24 > 0:46:26It was Scrooge! It was Scrooge!
0:46:26 > 0:46:27Steve Coogan, it was.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29Coogan!
0:46:32 > 0:46:35I can't believe that! Grandad was a brilliant answer.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38What a fantastic score anyhow, but sadly, only pointless counts.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41I hope you feel pleased with yourself!
0:46:44 > 0:46:48Well, unfortunately, I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that pointless answer,
0:46:48 > 0:46:50so you don't win today's jackpot of £5,250.
0:46:50 > 0:46:55However, as it's a celebrity special, we are going to donate £2,500 to Comic Relief anyhow.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59- But you have been brilliant. You have covered yourselves in glory. - Charlie, really.- Brilliant.
0:46:59 > 0:47:03- Well done. You do get to take home our Pointless trophy, so very well done.- Thank you very much.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05APPLAUSE
0:47:09 > 0:47:14Very well played throughout, guys. Albatross was a good answer as well. It was a Number One, but from 1968.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17- There are some very big answers on this pointless list.- We know.
0:47:17 > 0:47:20Very difficult in 60 seconds. Take a look at a few.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23Bonkers, Dizzee Rascal.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Fairground, that is Simply Red.
0:47:25 > 0:47:26Goodbye, Spice Girls.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28Ooh, there's a shocker on the next one.
0:47:28 > 0:47:31Imagine would have been a pointless answer - John Lennon.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Mercy by Duffy. Respectable, Mel and Kim.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36- These are all pointless?- These are all pointless.
0:47:36 > 0:47:40Shine by Take That. Woman by John Lennon. Xanadu, Olivia Newton John.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42I'll give you a few more. You could have had Cars, Gary Numan.
0:47:42 > 0:47:47You could have had Dizzy - Wonder Stuff with Vic and Bob. That would have been a pointless answer.
0:47:47 > 0:47:52You could have had Fastlove, Firestarter, Heroes...David Bowie.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56- You could have had Spaceman, Babylon Zoo...- Can you stop now? That's enough.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59I'm letting the people at home know, because they all have a go, you see.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01And they want to know if they got a correct answer.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04And they almost certainly did, cos there's loads of them.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you. It's been brilliant having you on the show.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09Thank you both so much. Charlie and Paul!
0:48:09 > 0:48:11APPLAUSE
0:48:11 > 0:48:15Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
0:48:15 > 0:48:18- Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...- Goodbye.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye!
0:48:26 > 0:48:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd