0:00:23 > 0:00:24Thank you very much indeed.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong
0:00:26 > 0:00:29and welcome to this criminal edition of Pointless Celebrities,
0:00:29 > 0:00:31the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points
0:00:31 > 0:00:34as you can, and you do that by coming up with the answers
0:00:34 > 0:00:35that no-one else can think of.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47- And couple number one.- Hello.- Hello. - Hello.- Hello. Allo-allo-allo!
0:00:47 > 0:00:51I'm Lisa Maxwell and I played Detective Inspector Sam Nixon
0:00:51 > 0:00:54on The Bill for seven and a bit years.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57And I'm Mark Wingett, I was PC Jim Carver on The Bill
0:00:57 > 0:00:58and I was her henchman.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08- And couple number two.- Hi, I'm Jim - I'm Jack Ellis, and, eh...
0:01:08 > 0:01:09I think I am.
0:01:09 > 0:01:14And I played Jim Fenner, the nasty screw in Bad Girls.
0:01:16 > 0:01:20And this is Helen Fraser, who played Sylvia Hollamby,
0:01:20 > 0:01:22better known as Bodybag.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Oh, she didn't like that!
0:01:29 > 0:01:30And couple number three.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33I'm Sue Cook, I'm guilty of having presented a few radio
0:01:33 > 0:01:36and TV programmes in my time, including Crimewatch,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38and I'm now writing novels.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm on my third one, having problems with it.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41ALEXANDER AND RICHARD LAUGH
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Well, I'm Donal MacIntyre, I'm an investigative reporter
0:01:44 > 0:01:47and I'm happy to help out any of those problems, any time.
0:01:52 > 0:01:53And finally, couple number four.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I'm Mark Billingham and I'm a crime novelist.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58I'm Laura Wilson and I'm also a crime novelist.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Thank you very much indeed.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03These are today's contestants.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06We'll get to know more about all of you throughout the show.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08So that just leaves one person for me to introduce, only here
0:02:08 > 0:02:11because the audience had a whip-round to pay his bail.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.- Hiya.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Hi, everybody. Hiya, evening.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- Good evening to you.- Good evening to you.- This is fun, isn't it?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24- A crime special.- Yeah. - The thing is though,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27we've got actors who play police officers,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29we've got actors who play prison officers,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31we've got TV presenters who've fought crime,
0:02:31 > 0:02:34we've got two of our finest British crime writers as well
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- we've got no actual criminals.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41That seems an oversight. Could we not book a couple of jailbirds?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44We've got some criminals who maybe haven't been caught yet.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46That's true, that is true.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Once when I moved I didn't move my television licence to my
0:02:49 > 0:02:51new address for about two weeks.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- That's quite bad, isn't it?- That is bad.- But I put it right eventually.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Great show tonight, Round Three, in our head-to-head tonight,
0:02:57 > 0:03:00if you make it through, we've got a brand-new type of round.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Ho-ho, what's that going to be? - It's not... I can't tell you.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06- Is it murder investigation?- I can't tell you. It's called jeopardy.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09You say something at the start of a show to keep people watching.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13- It's going to be AMAZING.- Huh, thanks you very much indeed, Richard.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Now, all our questions on Pointless have been asked
0:03:15 > 0:03:17to 100 people before the show.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20As ever, the aim of the game is to find a pointless answer,
0:03:20 > 0:03:21one that none of our 100 people gave,
0:03:21 > 0:03:25and each time that happens we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28As today's show is a celebrity special and each of our celebrities
0:03:28 > 0:03:32is playing for a nominated charity, we start off with a jackpot of...
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44OK, the pair with the highest score
0:03:44 > 0:03:46at the end of the round will be eliminated.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49And do remember, there is to be no conferring during the round itself.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Our first category today is...
0:03:54 > 0:03:56LAURA WHIMPERS
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Can you all decide in your pairs,
0:03:57 > 0:03:59who's going to go first, who's going to go second?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08OK, let's find out what the question is.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Yeah, we're looking for any country that has 25 or fewer people
0:04:20 > 0:04:23per square kilometre. That's according to the UN.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Just to give you an idea, there's about 45 to 50 countries on this,
0:04:26 > 0:04:29lots of countries on there. Lots of pointless answers as well.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32So any countries where there is an awful lot of room please,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34or very few people.
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Thank you very much indeed.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Mark and Lisa, you all drew lots before the show
0:04:38 > 0:04:39and today you are going to go first.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43Mark, you're going to get the ball rolling.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47Jim Carver of course. Now, Jim, he was a troubled soul, wasn't he?
0:04:47 > 0:04:51- He had his problems.- Yeah, he attracted plotlines like a magnet.
0:04:51 > 0:04:56- He had his gambling, he had... - Alcoholism.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59So when you left The Bill, bit of a relief, I should think.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04Well, I missed everybody, but it was good fun, time to go really.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07And since then, you've done some stage directing, haven't you?
0:05:07 > 0:05:12I have, yep, some comedies, a lot of stage work,
0:05:12 > 0:05:15a few feature films, bits and pieces.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19- And you were in Quadrophenia.- Yes. - Long time ago.- Lest we forgot.
0:05:19 > 0:05:20Dave. Fantastic.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Well, Mark, here we are.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25We're looking for the least densely-populated countries.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28- What are you thinking of?- Alaska.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33That's a state, sorry. That's a state.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Greenland.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39I'm going to have to take your first answer, Mark, I'm so sorry.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44Really unlucky. Alaska, erm, let's see what happens with Alaska.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- Oh, I'm sorry. - Does that mean it's wrong then?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55It means you score the maximum of 100 points. However,
0:05:55 > 0:05:58that may very well not be the last 100 points scored this round,
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- so it may not all be over. - I bet we will see more hundreds.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Very tough on that first podium,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07you knew immediately it's a state, Alaska.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- If it's any consolation, Greenland's not a country either.- Oh.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- That would have been wrong too. - That's all right!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Also...Alaska's rammed. Standing room only there.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20LAUGHTER
0:06:20 > 0:06:25- Skyscrapers everywhere. It's like Hong Kong.- Yeah.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Now, Jack.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- Welcome to Pointless.- Thank you.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Great to have you, obviously Jim Fenner in Bad Girls.- I was.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37But your CV, the TV credits there are fantastic -
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Inspector Morse, Lewis, Prime Suspect...
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- I only had one line in Morse, but I was in it.- Who cares?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46It's on your CV, Jack.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49But Prime Suspect you were a regular character in.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51I was, yes, I was DI Muddyman.
0:06:51 > 0:06:56- And what are up to these days? - Well, I'm currently...
0:06:56 > 0:06:58This is going to sound very strange.
0:06:58 > 0:07:04I'm working with a group called the Acrobatique Groupe de Tanger,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06which sounds very esoteric.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09They're a bunch of acrobats from Morocco and it's me and them.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- Do you do any acrobatics yourself? - I think I will be.- That's fun.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15No, they'll be throwing me around, which I think
0:07:15 > 0:07:18most of the audience of Bad Girls will be quite pleased about.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21And that's going on tour, is it?
0:07:21 > 0:07:27- Hopefully all over the world, but we'll see how it goes.- Fantastic.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Touring the world - how good is your world geography?
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Pretty limited, but I'll go for Congo.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Congo, let's see if that's right and if it is,
0:07:40 > 0:07:42how many of our 100 people said that.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46It's right.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Brilliant!
0:07:54 > 0:07:59Very well done indeed, Jack, two for Congo.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Well played, Jack. Yeah, only 12 per square kilometre.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05That is roomy, isn't it?
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Donal, welcome to Pointless, great to have you.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10An investigative journalist.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14Most of us when we finish work, we can leave it and go home.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I'm imagining, investigative journalism,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19it's quite hard to go home and not take it with you.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Actually, not have it follow you home.- That's the point!
0:08:22 > 0:08:26- I've had my fair share, and they still keep coming.- Oh, do they?
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Yeah, they do, the worst is the football hooligans, and honestly,
0:08:31 > 0:08:36I never credited them with the memory that would last 13 years.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39But still they keep coming. Anyway, it's all fine now.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41This was your work with, what are they called,
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- the Chelsea Headhunters? - Yeah, the Chelsea Headhunters.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46- Do you still have the tattoo?- I do.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- That's commitment, isn't it? - Really is.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- You had that tattoo done, remember? - Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54You still got that?
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Yeah, I've got a full-body tattoo of Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
0:08:59 > 0:09:05- Now, Donal.- Mongolia.- Let's see if that's right and if it is,
0:09:05 > 0:09:07how many of our 100 people said Mongolia.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Yes, actually the least densely-populated country
0:09:26 > 0:09:29in the world. 1.7 people per square kilometre.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Give you an idea, Islington has 14,000 per square kilometre.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36That's one of the main differences between Islington and Mongolia.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38LAUGHTER
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Although there are more Mongolian barbecue restaurants
0:09:40 > 0:09:42in Islington than Mongolia.
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Thanks, Richard. Laura, welcome to Pointless.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51The Lover and Stratton's War among your novels,
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- but you also teach writing, don't you?- I do, yeah.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58You do an MA course in crime thriller writing. That's right.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Rich and I, we've done our first two books,
0:10:01 > 0:10:03and we haven't yet came up with an idea for the third one...
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- We haven't, they weren't quite thrillers though.- They weren't
0:10:06 > 0:10:10- so much, but I'm thinking maybe the third one might be.- Good idea.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- The first were more lists of funny things.- Yeah.- Rather than crime.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18I mean, some people might call them crimes, but they weren't about crime.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21But what particularly do you teach in crime thriller writing?
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Plot and suspense and characterisation -
0:10:24 > 0:10:27and I have to say this - increasingly, grammar.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Why wouldn't you teach that in normal writing,
0:10:30 > 0:10:32is that particular to crime writing?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35No, it isn't, but it's always nice
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- when people can construct a sentence.- Important, important.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42Who's the greatest crime thriller writer of all, in your opinion?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Apart from Mark and yourself.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Well, obviously, Mark aside, they did a poll recently
0:10:47 > 0:10:52- and it was Agatha Christie.- And do you agree?- And who I am to disagree?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- Oh, you do disagree, don't you? - I'm not sure I do actually.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Wonderful plots.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- Always intriguing.- Now then, Laura, what are you going to go for?
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Lesotho.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Let's see if that's right,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07let's see how many of our 100 people said Lesotho.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- Oh...- Oh.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Oh, unfortunately, for some reason that we'll soon discover,
0:11:15 > 0:11:17that is an incorrect answer,
0:11:17 > 0:11:20which means you score the maximum of 100 points.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Yeah, I'm afraid not one of the least densely-populated countries,
0:11:24 > 0:11:25I don't know what else to say.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28It's got more than 50 people per square kilometre.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- It's got around about 70. - OK, thanks, Richard.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34We're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Two, the best score of that pass. Very well done, Jack.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Puts you and Helen in a very strong position.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Up to 17, where we find Donal and Sue.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Then up to 100, where we find Laura and Mark B,
0:11:43 > 0:11:45and Mark W and Lisa.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48So it is between you, Mark B and Lisa, to decide who will be
0:11:48 > 0:11:51staying at the end of the round and who will be leaving us.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Very best of luck. We're going to come back down the line,
0:11:53 > 0:11:56can the second players please step up to the podium?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Mark, welcome to Pointless. - Thank you.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Lovely to have you here.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Of course, best known for the Tom Thorne series of novels.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09- That was made for television, wasn't it?- Yes, it was.- Sky made it.- Yes.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12With David Morrissey in the lead role.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16How is that, as a writer, having something televised?
0:12:16 > 0:12:21Slightly uncomfortable? A world that you've visualised quite vividly.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Yeah, but they're very different animals, books and TV shows,
0:12:24 > 0:12:26and you have to kind of step back.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28There's always that thing, "Oh, what do you think
0:12:28 > 0:12:30"of what they did to your book?" And you go,
0:12:30 > 0:12:34"They did nothing to my book, here's the book, it's exactly the same."
0:12:34 > 0:12:36And David Morrissey was brilliant in the part.
0:12:36 > 0:12:37No, I was very happy with it.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41And before you were writing, you were a comedian and actor.
0:12:41 > 0:12:46- Yes, in a past life.- The first human to appear on Spitting Image.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50I was. They did a bizarre series of sketches where a box of puppets
0:12:50 > 0:12:53fell off the back of a truck and escaped into the real world,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56and I played various kind of football hooligans and coppers,
0:12:56 > 0:13:02interacting with Mr Spock and David Steel and whoever else - puppets.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Well, Mark, there you are, it's between you
0:13:04 > 0:13:06and the first podium here,
0:13:06 > 0:13:09so we need a low-scoring answer to take you through to the next round.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11This is probably a very stupid answer,
0:13:11 > 0:13:15I'm thinking a big country, with a lot of space on it.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- I'm going to take a punt on Canada. - Canada, says Mark.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21No red line for you as you're the joint highest scorers,
0:13:21 > 0:13:24but let's see how many of our 100 people said Canada.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28It's right.
0:13:36 > 0:13:3930 for Canada, maybe that's enough to see you through.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Well-played, Mark, very sparsely populated,
0:13:41 > 0:13:443.4 people per kilometre in Canada.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47In St Paul, Canada, they've got the world's first UFO landing pad,
0:13:47 > 0:13:48they've built a landing pad.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52That's nice. What letter do they put in the middle, I wonder?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54That's a good question. Whatever the alien for H is.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Well, that's a helicopter, they wouldn't come in a helicopter.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01- Aliens? Yeah, they would.- That'd be madness. Through the atmosphere?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05- Yeah.- They'd come in a UFO.- Yeah, but a helicopter one.- UFO, spelt U.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Oh, see what you mean. LAUGHTER
0:14:08 > 0:14:12There we are, thank you very much, Richard. Sue, welcome to the show.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Oh, Crimewatch...but actually, Nationwide, let us not forget,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18and BBC Breakfast as well.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- Perfect training for Pointless, perfect.- I suppose you're right.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23All the things you've learnt,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25all the things you must have soaked up over the years.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26I always used to say I learned
0:14:26 > 0:14:29a little bit about a lot of things, but not a lot about anything.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33And tell me this - did you ever get nightmares from Crimewatch?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35- LAUGHTER - No, not really.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39I left it behind in the car driving back over the Westway.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Did you check the car before you got into it?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43No, probably should have done, but...
0:14:43 > 0:14:46OK, Sue, there you are, you're on 17.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48The good news is, you are through to the next round come what may.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Even if you score 100 points you won't overtake
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Mark and Laura on 130.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55A bit of a relief, but let's have a nice low score.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59OK, erm...
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Maybe lots of people have said this. Anyway, I'll say it, the Falklands.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06No red line for you as you're already through,
0:15:06 > 0:15:10but let's see how many of our 100 people said the Falklands.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Ooh, bad luck, Sue, afraid that's an incorrect answer.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Scores you the maximum of 100 points, takes your total up to 117.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22- Is that cos it's not a country? - Yeah, not a country, Sue, I'm afraid.
0:15:22 > 0:15:26- I don't know who it belongs to.- No. - Believe there's some dispute.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Thanks very much indeed.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Helen, great news for you as well,
0:15:30 > 0:15:33you are also through to the next round.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Isn't that nice?- A miracle!
0:15:36 > 0:15:40So there you are on two. Helen, yes, Bodybag.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44Mrs Hollamby, please. She never answered to Bodybag.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Helen, I couldn't believe it.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49She's the nicest person I think I've ever met on this show.
0:15:49 > 0:15:54- You must be such a good actress.- Ah, well.- Oh, she was terrifying.- Yes.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56But you were in loads of comedies,
0:15:56 > 0:15:59some of the most wonderful comedies, weren't you?
0:15:59 > 0:16:04Yes, Dick Emery's daughter for seven series, On the Buses, Rising Damp,
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Two Ronnies - you name it, I was there.- Fantastic.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10And what are up at the moment, about to do a tour, aren't you?
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Well, I've just toured Calendar Girls, which was wonderful.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16It's the only play I've been in where
0:16:16 > 0:16:19they're queuing on a Monday night for returns.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23- Lovely.- It was such a pleasure to do.- How long was the tour?- 16 weeks.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- Cor.- I got to know England and the M6 very well.- I bet.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Here we are. As I say, you're already through,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33but for fun, let's see if we can find a nice low score.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Well, geography's not my best subject, but they've all been
0:16:37 > 0:16:41very hot countries, so I'm going to go cold and say Finland.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45No red line cos you're already through,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48but let's see how many of our 100 people said Finland.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51It's right.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59That's a great answer. Five, Helen.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05Takes your total up to seven. Our lowest total by hundreds.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Well played, Helen, very good answer, yeah.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10A quarter of Finland lies above the Arctic Circle,
0:17:10 > 0:17:14- so very few people live in there. - Mmm.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Thank you, Richard. Lisa, now, this is where we have a game.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20SHE SNIGGERS AND ALEXANDER SIGHS
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- OK.- This is very exciting, but, Lisa, obviously...
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Before we say goodbye.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27You were Sam Nixon in The Bill, which is what links you all,
0:17:27 > 0:17:29the crime element.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33But...probably best known to people nowadays as a loose woman.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36I think so, probably, yes.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Some of us are looser than others, it has to be said.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40LAUGHTER
0:17:40 > 0:17:42You were in EastEnders briefly this year, weren't you?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Yes, I did a little guest role in the summer
0:17:44 > 0:17:47when the David Wicks character came back.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- I played his girlfriend, Naomi. - That's fun.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53- Yeah, I thought you were horrible.- Did you?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Yeah, I mean, you're very good at being horrible.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- Yeah, she was a little bit unstable. - Wasn't she?
0:17:58 > 0:18:02- Yeah, but I like to think she had a terrible life.- Might she come back?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05She'll be an occasional guest, pep it up a bit.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- She'd be a good character, wouldn't she?- Yeah.- I think so.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13And also, I read somewhere that you were in the running to play
0:18:13 > 0:18:15Daphne Moon in Frasier, is that true?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I was, yeah, I lived in LA at the time,
0:18:17 > 0:18:20and I had a meeting with the producers of Cheers,
0:18:20 > 0:18:24who were making a pilot spin off for Kelsey Grammer called Frasier,
0:18:24 > 0:18:29- and it was between me and, erm... - Jane Leeves.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I've blotted her from my memory!
0:18:31 > 0:18:34It's OK, it's not like it was a bit hit or anything(!)
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Anyway, Lisa, you have to score 29 or less
0:18:37 > 0:18:39to get through to the next round.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41You've had a little bit of time to think of a really good
0:18:41 > 0:18:43sparsely-populated country.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46I should have a really good answer, cos I have had time.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47Finland was one of mine,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50and then I was thinking along the same principles of Mark
0:18:50 > 0:18:54with a large country with lots of land that people couldn't fill up,
0:18:54 > 0:18:57so I was thinking Australia, being a large place with open space,
0:18:57 > 0:19:00and then I thought of Borneo, which I think is a country.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03I'm going to take a punt... I can't think of anyone anywhere else.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09- ..and go with Borneo, but it might...- OK, here's your red line.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Get below that red line with Borneo and you are in Round Two.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Let's see how many of our 100 people said Borneo.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Ooh, no! Bad luck, Lisa. I'm sorry.
0:19:20 > 0:19:25- Is it a country?- It's not, I'm afraid, that's the issue.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29Scores you 100 points. Takes your total up to 200. I'm sorry.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32If it makes you feel any better, if you'd said Australia,
0:19:32 > 0:19:36- it would have scored you 49.- Right, so it would have been high anyway.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It would indeed, a real shame.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40There's a few pointless answers, let's take a look.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43You'd have done very well to get one of these, tough question.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Belize.- Belize!
0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Yep.- Don't know why I did that, I wouldn't have got it!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52"Oh, Belize, yes, that old favourite."
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Just say that after all of them. - "Oh, Bhutan, yeah."
0:19:54 > 0:19:59- "Oh, Equatorial Guinea."- "Oh, it was right there."- "I know, I know."
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- All of those pointless. Gabon, Guyana and...- Oman.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05LAUGHING: All of those are pointless.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Can't believe nobody said Turkmenistan and Uruguay,
0:20:11 > 0:20:12what are you thinking?
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Other low-scorers, one point for Angola, Botswana,
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Paraguay, Solomon Islands, Zambia, Somalia.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Vanuatu, Congo, Bolivia all scored two.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- Papua New Guinea scored two... - I was going to say Papua New Guinea!
0:20:23 > 0:20:27I really was, and I wasn't sure if that was a country either.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Yeah, it totally is.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32And it's a sparsely populated one as well. That's the...
0:20:32 > 0:20:36Kazakhstan, Algeria, South Sudan and Chad all would have scored three,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38so there's lots of low scorers out there,
0:20:38 > 0:20:42and top three answers...we've just heard the top two,
0:20:42 > 0:20:45but Iceland would have scored you 24 and seen you through,
0:20:45 > 0:20:48and there's Canada with 30 and Australia on 49.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Thanks very much indeed, Richard.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53So at the end of our first round, I'm afraid the pair heading home
0:20:53 > 0:20:56with their high score of 200, I'm sorry, it's Lisa and Mark.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- Aww.- I'm so sorry, far too soon to be saying goodbye to you.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- Yeah, we were just getting a flow on.- Yeah.
0:21:02 > 0:21:07- Storm surge.- Come back and play again, it's been lovely having you.
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Thank you so much for playing - Lisa and Mark.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12- Good luck.- Good luck.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19So three pairs remain.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21At the end of this round we'll have to say goodbye
0:21:21 > 0:21:24to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Helen and Jack, what a great performance in that first round.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Good job, cos if you'd been the high-scorers,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32I think I'd have been too scared to throw you off.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34We're very nice really, aren't we?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37I know, you are, you keep wrong-footing me.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40And quite close at the other end of the spectrum as well, I think,
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Mark and Laura, you were the highest-scoring
0:21:43 > 0:21:45of our remaining pairs, and then came Donal and Sue.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Anyway, I think it's going to be a very exciting second round.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Can you all decide in your pairs
0:21:55 > 0:21:57who's going to go first, who's going to go second?
0:21:57 > 0:22:00And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03OK, and the question concerns...
0:22:11 > 0:22:15On each pass we're going to give you the names of six hit singles,
0:22:15 > 0:22:17you just need to give us the name of the band
0:22:17 > 0:22:18who had a hit with these singles.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21All these bands contain some term referring to weather
0:22:21 > 0:22:23or temperature or something like that.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25So six hit singles on each pass, just give us
0:22:25 > 0:22:27the name of the band who had a hit with one of these.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30- 12 in all to have a go at at home. - Thanks very much indeed.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32We are looking for the bands who had hits with these...
0:22:58 > 0:23:02And all these bands' names contain meteorological terms.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Helen.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06HE LAUGHS
0:23:06 > 0:23:08How are you finding this, Helen?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Well, it's not a good subject for me, I'm afraid.
0:23:11 > 0:23:15I belong to Frank Sinatra. That was my era really.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20So I'm afraid we'll be going out. I really...
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I can't think of a single name!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Boogie Wonderland, Ice Babies.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30- The Ice Babies.- Mmm.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32OK, let's see if that's right.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36Let's see how many people said the Ice Babies for Boogie Wonderland.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39No, I'm sorry, Helen.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43An incorrect answer scores you the maximum of 100 points.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I'm sorry, Helen. Good name for a band though,
0:23:45 > 0:23:48if no-one's got that already. Sure someone will nick it.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51It's a shame you don't belong to Dank Sinatra,
0:23:51 > 0:23:53that would have been a good answer.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Now then, Sue.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- Sue.- Don't know about you, I don't know any.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01- Oh, no, is this bad for you as well?- Yes.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04There's only one I can guess at.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08I'm not sure that's right, and that's, erm, Run...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12This is because the only recent band I know
0:24:12 > 0:24:14of with a wintry title is Snow Patrol.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- And that is what you're going to say?- Snow Patrol for Run.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22You're going to say Run, Snow Patrol. Let's see if that's right.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27It's right!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Very well done, Sue.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35APPLAUSE
0:24:35 > 0:24:39I think somewhere at the back of your mind you must have known that
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- but that's a great answer. - Turned out very nicely, didn't it?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45They were the last band ever to appear on Top of the Pops,
0:24:45 > 0:24:48in its old form, Snow Patrol. And Run was also a hit for Leona Lewis.
0:24:48 > 0:24:50She did a cover version of that song.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Thanks very much.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Now then, Mark, I think you can tidy up here, mop up the board.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58There's one that's really annoying me, which is Since You've Been Gone,
0:24:58 > 0:25:01which I can sing, but I can't remember who it's by!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Erm, I'm going to go for Boogie Wonderland and say
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Earth, Wind and Fire.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Let's see if it's right.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Let's see how many people said Earth, Wind & Fire.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23That's a great answer as well. Well done, Mark.
0:25:24 > 0:25:2614 for Earth, Wind & Fire.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29It was originally going to be called Johnny's Casino Lounge,
0:25:29 > 0:25:31rather than Boogie Wonderland,
0:25:31 > 0:25:33- which wouldn't have quite had the same effect.- At all.
0:25:33 > 0:25:3514 points for that.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38We'll get onto Since You've Been Gone in a moment, Mark.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Just give you another five seconds to see if you can get it.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Ice Ice Baby is by Vanilla Ice.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Would have scored 40. Give It Up...
0:25:47 > 0:25:51# Na-na-na-na-na, baby, give it up. #
0:25:51 > 0:25:54- KC and the Sunshine Band.- LAUGHING: KC and the Sunshine Band, yup.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Would have scored you five points. And Love Is All Around...
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Wet Wet Wet.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00And that would have scored you 51.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Now, Mark, if it was Wet Wet Wet, and we had Sunshine, what would we have?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09- Rainbow.- Rainbow, Since You've Been Gone. Absolutely.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11And it would have scored you eight points.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13So the best answer up there is KC and the Sunshine Band.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Thanks, Richard. We're halfway through the round.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Let's take a look at those scores. 11 the best of that pass.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Sue, what an inspired piece of answering that was, may I say?
0:26:21 > 0:26:2411 puts you and Donal in a strong position.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Then up to 14, where we find Mark and Laura.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Then I'm afraid it's 100 where we find Helen and Jack.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31But we're only halfway through the round.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Anything could happen in the next pass.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Very best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Can the second players please step up to the podium?
0:26:39 > 0:26:43OK, let's put six more songs up on the board, and here they are.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58I'll read those all again.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Now, remember, we're looking for the bands who had hits with these songs
0:27:11 > 0:27:15and all those band names contain a meteorological term.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Laura.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19- Telstar.- Yeah.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Were they called The Tornados?
0:27:22 > 0:27:24The Tornados, says...
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Wouldn't that be brilliant? That would work.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27There you are, you're on 14.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29The high score is 100.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32If you can score 85 or less, you're in the head-to-head.
0:27:32 > 0:27:33Let's see. There's your red line.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35If you can get below that with The Tornados...
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Is it right?
0:27:39 > 0:27:41It is right. Very well done indeed, Laura.
0:27:45 > 0:27:4622.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48APPLAUSE
0:27:48 > 0:27:5036, your total.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Through you go to the head-to-head.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53That is a great answer, Laura. Very well done.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56You were unlucky with Lesotho, so I'm glad that was right.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59It was the first American number one by a British rock group, that was.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- Sold five million copies worldwide. - Wow.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Thank you, Richard. Now then...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07- Donal.- Mm.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09I haven't got a clue.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12- Do you have a clue about ANY of them?- No!- Really?
0:28:12 > 0:28:14- LAUGHING:- Not a clue.
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Um...
0:28:15 > 0:28:19So I'm going to pick something with "Stormy" in the title,
0:28:19 > 0:28:21cos there's bound to be something with "Stormy" in it.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24I'm going to go for Stormy Weather - my own invention -
0:28:24 > 0:28:25with Let's Work Together.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Stormy Weather, says Donal. OK.
0:28:28 > 0:28:29Here's your red line.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Stormy Weather, obviously, has to be right to get down the column.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Let's see if it is right.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39No, I'm afraid...
0:28:39 > 0:28:40your luck has run out for now.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 111.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Unlucky, Donal. People sometimes say,
0:28:45 > 0:28:48"Oh, do you make the celebrity shows easier than the regular ones?"
0:28:48 > 0:28:51- I say that, that's a proper tough board.- A hard board.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53That first round was a tough first round as well.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57So this is the measure of any regular edition of Pointless, I would say.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Thank you very much. Now then, Jack.
0:28:59 > 0:29:02You're on 100, you were the high scorers at the halfway point
0:29:02 > 0:29:04but you've been thrown a lifeline there by Donal.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06If you can score 10 or less...
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Unfortunately, it's not one I'm going to be able to grab.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12The only... I can think of Weather Report as a band that I know.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14But I don't think anybody else does.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16And I don't think they ever had a hit of anything.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18And they were back in the '60s and '70s
0:29:18 > 0:29:20and I think they still exist a bit.
0:29:20 > 0:29:21Do you know what? I'm going to guess...
0:29:21 > 0:29:23I'm going to say Snow Patrol
0:29:23 > 0:29:26and I've no idea whether they made this record
0:29:26 > 0:29:31but I'm going to suggest that maybe they'd made Paradise in 2011.
0:29:31 > 0:29:32- Is that possible?- OK.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36It's possible they did it. It's less possible we'd have brought them back
0:29:36 > 0:29:38- on the second board.- Oh. Oh, is it? Oh, right.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40- Well, I can't go back and choose again.- That's OK.
0:29:40 > 0:29:41Well, I'm afraid, no.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44I'll take your first answer but I think we'll have to go with that.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46But there is your red line.
0:29:46 > 0:29:50Who knows? We might have brought them back. You never know.
0:29:50 > 0:29:51LAUGHTER
0:29:51 > 0:29:53Er, let's see if it is right.
0:29:56 > 0:29:57Oh, bad luck.
0:29:57 > 0:29:58I'm sorry, Jack.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00A really tough board, as Richard said.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02I'm afraid that it is another in great answer,
0:30:02 > 0:30:04scores you the maximum of 100 points.
0:30:04 > 0:30:05Take your total up to 200.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Yeah, Jack, sorry. You're right in terms of era
0:30:08 > 0:30:10and you're right in terms of temperature as well.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- Cos Paradise is by Coldplay...- Oh!
0:30:13 > 0:30:16..and would have scored you 13 points.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19Um, now, the rest. They're all hot, the rest of them.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Cos We Are The People is by the Australian band, Empire Of The Sun.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Very well done if you said that. It would've scored you five.
0:30:24 > 0:30:28Let's Work Together was Canned Heat. That would have scored you nine.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31Um...sure lots of people at home would have got You Sexy Thing.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33That's by Hot Chocolate.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35And that would have scored 48.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38And the hipsters at home will be impressing their parents...
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Well, they wouldn't be at their parents' if they were hipsters.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44Hipsters who are at their parents' house for the weekend
0:30:44 > 0:30:45- for some reason...- Yeah. - LAUGHTER
0:30:45 > 0:30:48..would've impressed their parents by saying Hot Chip
0:30:48 > 0:30:50for Ready For The Floor. That scored one point.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52Thanks very much indeed. So, at the end of our second round,
0:30:52 > 0:30:55the pair who are heading home with their high score of 200,
0:30:55 > 0:30:57I'm afraid it's Jack and Helen. Oh, I'm sorry.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00That was a really tough board. That was a tough round, full stop.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03- Tough for me.- Would it have been any better the other way round?- No.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06Helen, you'd have got Hot Chip, wouldn't you? Come on.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08No, I don't... No. I'm more into Beethoven, really.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10- LAUGHTER - Oh, well, Jack and Helen,
0:31:10 > 0:31:12it's been wonderful having you on the show.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Thank you so much for playing. I'm sorry to say goodbye.
0:31:15 > 0:31:16But thanks, Jack and Helen.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18APPLAUSE
0:31:19 > 0:31:23But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28Congratulations, Mark and Laura, Donal and Sue.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30You're now one step closer to the final
0:31:30 > 0:31:32and a chance to play for our jackpot,
0:31:32 > 0:31:34which currently stands at £2,500.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Now we have to decide who's going to go through to the final
0:31:40 > 0:31:41and play for that money.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43To do that, you're now going to go head-to-head.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45The big difference being that you're now allowed to confer
0:31:45 > 0:31:47before you give your answers.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49The first pair to win two answers will be playing for that jackpot.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Well, very well done, both pairs. There's been a couple of wobbles.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55A couple of wobbles there, Laura - Lesotho. Ooh!
0:31:55 > 0:31:57Donal, we had Stormy Weather from you.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59Was that right? Stormy Weather? Yeah?
0:31:59 > 0:32:01I think, now you can confer,
0:32:01 > 0:32:03I think this is going to be incredibly close.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10APPLAUSE
0:32:13 > 0:32:16OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...
0:32:19 > 0:32:22This is a new thing we've never done on Pointless before!
0:32:22 > 0:32:24It's very, very exciting. Richard.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27I thought, as we'd got crime writers versus crime fighters here,
0:32:27 > 0:32:28I thought, you know,
0:32:28 > 0:32:31"Just do something a little bit different, a little bit unusual,"
0:32:31 > 0:32:33So we're going to have an audio round.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36Never had an audio round before. Everybody OK with that?
0:32:36 > 0:32:37Yeah?
0:32:37 > 0:32:40- Donal, contain your excitement, please.- Good, no...- OK?
0:32:40 > 0:32:41You're shaking too much.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43It's difficult for the camera to follow you
0:32:43 > 0:32:45if you keep bouncing up and down, OK, with excitement.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49We're going to play you now five extracts from TV cop theme tunes.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52Can you identify them and tell us the most obscure?
0:32:52 > 0:32:57OK, so let's now reveal, aurally...
0:32:57 > 0:33:01our-our five TV cop show themes.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03And here is A.
0:33:05 > 0:33:12BASS AND ELECTRIC GUITARS PLAY A 1970S TUNE
0:33:12 > 0:33:17BRASS SECTION JOINS IN
0:33:21 > 0:33:22B.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29BRASS INSTRUMENTS PLAY A LILTING RIFF
0:33:29 > 0:33:34BASS AND DRUMS JOIN IN
0:33:39 > 0:33:40C.
0:33:41 > 0:33:47DRAMATIC DRUM AND BRASS OPENING
0:33:47 > 0:33:50FUNKY BASS LINE JOINS IN
0:33:50 > 0:33:56BRASS SECTION PLAYS A FLOWING MELODY
0:33:58 > 0:34:00HE SIGHS HAPPILY
0:34:00 > 0:34:02It's that bass.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04Er...D.
0:34:06 > 0:34:12TENSE ELECTRONIC DRUM BEAT LOOPS
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Sounded like that one might be broken!
0:34:26 > 0:34:28LAUGHTER
0:34:28 > 0:34:29And...E.
0:34:30 > 0:34:36SOFT PIANO INTRO
0:34:42 > 0:34:44PIANO PLAYS LOUDER
0:34:44 > 0:34:48ELECTRONIC BRASS SECTION JOINS IN
0:34:51 > 0:34:53OK, there we are. Now then.
0:34:53 > 0:34:56Mark and Laura, you played best throughout the show so far,
0:34:56 > 0:35:00- so you will get to answer first. - OK, we're going to go B...
0:35:00 > 0:35:03I think it was B. ..and say Cagney & Lacey.
0:35:03 > 0:35:07B, Cagney & Lacey. B, Cagney & Lacey, say Laura and Mark.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09Now, Donal and Sue.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Name as many of the others as you like
0:35:11 > 0:35:13and then say which one you want to submit.
0:35:15 > 0:35:20- You think C might be Columbo? Do you?- Mmm. I love Columbo.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23You know the answer at the very start,
0:35:23 > 0:35:28- but do you know the theme song?- No. - I'm going to go for C, Columbo.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30You're going to say C, Columbo.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32So we have B, Cagney & Lacey, C, Columbo.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Cagney & Lacey say Mark and Laura, let's see if that's right
0:35:35 > 0:35:36and how many people said it.
0:35:38 > 0:35:39It's right.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45- 46. - APPLAUSE
0:35:48 > 0:35:51And Donal and Sue have said that C is Columbo, let's see
0:35:51 > 0:35:54if that's right and how many people said it if it is right.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Bad luck.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Not Columbo, which means Mark and Laura, very well done,
0:36:02 > 0:36:03after one question you're up 1-0.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Well played. Cagney & Lacey theme, written by Bill Conti,
0:36:06 > 0:36:09who also wrote the theme music to Rocky. That's quite good, isn't it?
0:36:09 > 0:36:12Let's listen to each one and I'll tell you what they are.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18That, of course, is The Sweeney.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24That would have scored you 55 points.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29We know Cagney & Lacey, so C, you thought it was Columbo.
0:36:29 > 0:36:30Let's have a quick listen.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34It's definitely cool, isn't it?
0:36:36 > 0:36:39- It's Kojak.- Of course, it's Kojak!
0:36:39 > 0:36:42That's great music, isn't it? Scored 12 points, Kojak.
0:36:44 > 0:36:45D, let's have a listen.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48This is the one that sounds like Animal from the Muppets.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57- It's NYPD Blue.- I was going to say Rosemary & Thyme!
0:36:57 > 0:36:59RICHARD LAUGHS
0:36:59 > 0:37:02Would have been a very good answer, would have scored you two points.
0:37:02 > 0:37:07- A terrific answer. It wasn't Rosemary & Thyme.- No.- And E...
0:37:07 > 0:37:08You'll know this one.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13- What do you think?- Hill Street Blues.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Hill Street Blues is the answer, and that would have scored you 32 points.
0:37:17 > 0:37:21Very well done if you got that at home. Best answer was NYPD Blue.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Here comes your second question.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27Now, Donal and Sue, you have to win this one to stay in the game
0:37:27 > 0:37:30but you'll answer it first, so best of luck. It concerns...
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Things you find in the bathroom, Richard.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40The trouble is, you shouldn't say "Things you find in the bathroom"
0:37:40 > 0:37:43to crime writers because the answer is almost always corpse.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45We're going to show you five things
0:37:45 > 0:37:47you might find in a regular bathroom now
0:37:47 > 0:37:48but in anagram form.
0:37:48 > 0:37:52Can you unscramble the anagrams and give us the best answer?
0:37:52 > 0:37:53Thanks, let's reveal our five things
0:37:53 > 0:37:56you might find in a bathroom and here they come.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05I'll read those again.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14There we are, five things you might find in a bathroom.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Donal and Sue, you will go first.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21- Something at the bottom is wash something?- What's that?- Washing...
0:38:25 > 0:38:26(Toilet...)
0:38:26 > 0:38:28THEY WHISPER TO EACH OTHER
0:38:31 > 0:38:33I haven't got any. Um...
0:38:35 > 0:38:37I'm going to say, um...
0:38:37 > 0:38:41Homer soap. Hom soap.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43Hom soap?
0:38:43 > 0:38:47- I use my hom soap most days. - It's a good thing to use, certainly.
0:38:47 > 0:38:51- OK, which one do you think is that? - The fourth one down.
0:38:51 > 0:38:55The fourth one down is hom soap. Um...OK. Yup, hom soap...
0:38:55 > 0:38:59Mark and Laura, do you fancy talking us through the board?
0:38:59 > 0:39:04- It'll be a short conversation. - But at the top we have toothpaste.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07And the fourth one down we have shampoo.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11Hom soap. It's really hom soap.
0:39:11 > 0:39:13That was our second choice.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15That's obviously where I've been going wrong,
0:39:15 > 0:39:17not using the old hom soap.
0:39:17 > 0:39:21- Shall we go for toothpaste?- Yeah. - Yeah. Number one, toothpaste.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23You're going to go for toothpaste.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26All right, Donal and Sue went for hom soap.
0:39:26 > 0:39:29Let's see...let's see if that's right...
0:39:32 > 0:39:36Oh, bad luck. Which means, Mark and Laura, you merely have to be correct
0:39:36 > 0:39:39with toothpaste and you are through to the next round.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Yup.
0:39:43 > 0:39:44We knew that was right.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48- Ooh! That's not bad.- Wow, 21!
0:39:48 > 0:39:50APPLAUSE
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Which means, Mark and Laura, after only two questions,
0:39:55 > 0:39:57you are through to the final 2-0.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Well played, Laura and Mark, very good answer.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02Be honest, Sue, when you left the house this evening,
0:40:02 > 0:40:05if I told you you'd be saying "hom soap" on national television,
0:40:05 > 0:40:07you'd have gone, "You've gone mental!"
0:40:07 > 0:40:09But it is shampoo. The others were right,
0:40:09 > 0:40:11would have been a bigger scorer,
0:40:11 > 0:40:13would have scored you 36.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Let's take a look at the rest of them.
0:40:15 > 0:40:19- Do you know the second one down? - Deodorant.- Deodorant, yes.
0:40:19 > 0:40:22- That's it though.- Do you not know the other two?- Nope.
0:40:22 > 0:40:23Let's do the bottom one first.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26The middle one is a pointless answer. The bottom one...
0:40:26 > 0:40:28- Washer? Um...- No.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30It's shower curtain.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32- Ah!- Would have scored seven.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35And this one is a pointless answer, I'm quite surprised.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37- Dental floss.- Ah!
0:40:38 > 0:40:39- Pointless answer.- Very good.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42You can kill someone with dental floss,
0:40:42 > 0:40:44that would be a good plot for a novel.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46The way I would do it is hide their dental floss
0:40:46 > 0:40:49so they get gingivitis, and then it gets inflamed,
0:40:49 > 0:40:53and then they pass away, that's how I'd kill someone with dental floss.
0:40:53 > 0:40:55LAUGHTER
0:40:55 > 0:40:57- Slow, painful death. - It would take a long time,
0:40:57 > 0:41:00but that's the kind of criminal I would be.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Thank you very much. Well, at the end of our head-to-head round,
0:41:03 > 0:41:05we have to say goodbye to Donal and Sue.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08You've done so well up to this point and then I'm afraid this...
0:41:08 > 0:41:12Yeah, we didn't give you two very good categories.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Did you like our new listening round, though? Our music round?
0:41:15 > 0:41:19I'm not too good at soundtracks and things. I always get them wrong.
0:41:19 > 0:41:20So I didn't like it, no.
0:41:20 > 0:41:22LAUGHTER
0:41:22 > 0:41:24OK, right, there we are!
0:41:24 > 0:41:28So if at the end I get killed, you know who the prime suspect is.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Most certainly I do! Donal and Sue, thank you so much,
0:41:30 > 0:41:33it's been wonderful having you on the show. Donal and Sue.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35APPLAUSE
0:41:35 > 0:41:38But, for Mark and Laura, it's time for our Pointless final.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45Congratulations, Mark and Laura, you've seen off all the competition
0:41:45 > 0:41:48and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy so very, very well done.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02APPLAUSE
0:42:05 > 0:42:07As two bestselling crime authors,
0:42:07 > 0:42:10you couldn't have written a better ending for the show.
0:42:10 > 0:42:12You've seen off our crime presenters,
0:42:12 > 0:42:14you've seen off our actors.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17- You've seen off them all. - All we need now is the twist.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19- The twist in the tale.- Exactly.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22What's the twist going to be, what would you like to be, Laura?
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Well, winning the jackpot would be good,
0:42:24 > 0:42:26but in the crime novel that wouldn't happen.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29- No.- Because that what you're expecting.- Stealing the jackpot.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33- That would be the obvious thing to do.- That would be brilliant.
0:42:33 > 0:42:36And murdering someone in order to do that, that would be...
0:42:36 > 0:42:38- Let's hope it doesn't come to that. - Let's hope it doesn't!
0:42:38 > 0:42:42You have four choices for your quiz category for the final round.
0:42:42 > 0:42:43Here they are.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54- I fancy Elton John albums.- Do you?
0:42:54 > 0:42:56Yeah. Yeah.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59- OK.- Are you sure?
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Nothing else you particularly feel like we should go for?
0:43:02 > 0:43:05I've never knowingly seen an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06Good move.
0:43:06 > 0:43:10Unfortunately never been to the Caribbean, I'd love to.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13- Sport, uh-uh. So, yeah.- Elton John albums.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Elton John albums it is. Richard.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17OK, very best of luck. There's three options now.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Take your answers from any of these.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22We're looking for any tracks on the original release
0:43:22 > 0:43:24of the Elton John album Caribou.
0:43:24 > 0:43:28Any tracks on the original release of Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
0:43:28 > 0:43:32Or any tracks on the original release of Don't Shoot Me, I'm Only The Piano Player.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34So if you know those albums, you could be in.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36- Very, very best of luck.- OK.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers,
0:43:39 > 0:43:42and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities
0:43:42 > 0:43:44is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47Remember, the answers you give can come from any of these categories
0:43:47 > 0:43:50and how you spread them across the categories is up to you,
0:43:50 > 0:43:53could be one from each, two from one, one from another,
0:43:53 > 0:43:54entirely up to you.
0:43:54 > 0:43:58- Are you ready?- Yes.- OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00There they are, your time starts now.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03I know the second two albums really well.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05So I think I can come up with this.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08OK, so Crocodile Rock and that kind of thing?
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Yes, but we probably want to be more obscure than that.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14OK, there's a track called Harmony on Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
0:44:14 > 0:44:19Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player, there's tracks called Elderberry Wine,
0:44:19 > 0:44:22Teacher I Need You. I grew up listening to those albums.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26- I can't think of any that are better than that.- OK.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29Because everybody is going to say Goodbye Norma Jean,
0:44:29 > 0:44:33and Candle In The Wind and Saturday night's All Right For Fighting.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36- I think we should go for... Elderberry Wine.- It wasn't a single?
0:44:36 > 0:44:40No, which wasn't a single. Teacher I Need You, which wasn't a single.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43And Harmony which is a track on Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, I think.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46Are you happy? We'll stop the clock. What about that, stopping the clock,
0:44:46 > 0:44:49three excellent answers it sounds like you've got. What are they?
0:44:49 > 0:44:51We're going to go for the track Harmony
0:44:51 > 0:44:53- from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. - Harmony.
0:44:53 > 0:44:57And then two tracks from Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player,
0:44:57 > 0:45:01- Elderberry Wine and Teacher I Need You.- And Teacher I Need You.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?
0:45:04 > 0:45:07- Teacher I Need You. - Teacher I Need You we'll put last.
0:45:07 > 0:45:09Least likely to be pointless?
0:45:09 > 0:45:11Harmony, that's probably a better-known album.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13OK, Harmony will pop up first.
0:45:13 > 0:45:16Let's put those up on the board in that order and here they are.
0:45:16 > 0:45:20We've got Harmony, Elderberry Wine and Teacher I Need You.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Well, very best of luck. Your first answer was Harmony.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26This was the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless.
0:45:26 > 0:45:28But only one of your answers needs to be pointless
0:45:28 > 0:45:32to win your jackpot for charity. What are your charities? Mark?
0:45:32 > 0:45:34- Macmillan Cancer Support. - And yours, Laura?
0:45:34 > 0:45:36The Watford Sheltered Workshop.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38Excellent, two very good charities there.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40APPLAUSE
0:45:42 > 0:45:45Let's hope three good answers on the board,
0:45:45 > 0:45:47let's hope at least one of those is pointless.
0:45:47 > 0:45:48You can win money for your charities.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51So, we are looking at Harmony, your first answer,
0:45:51 > 0:45:53which you thought was least likely to be pointless.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56In this case an album track from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,
0:45:56 > 0:45:58let's find out if it's right and if it's pointless,
0:45:58 > 0:46:00it will win you that jackpot.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03For £2,500, how many people said Harmony?
0:46:06 > 0:46:08- It's right. - Come on, come on, come on.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11If this goes all the way down to the bottom of the column,
0:46:11 > 0:46:14you will leave here immediately with £2,500 for your charities.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17It's still going down, down it goes, still going...
0:46:17 > 0:46:18You've done it!
0:46:18 > 0:46:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:46:21 > 0:46:22That is brilliant.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24Well done!
0:46:25 > 0:46:27Very, very well done. Superb work.
0:46:32 > 0:46:35Congratulations. You made that look so easy.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38Harmony was a pointless answer which means you leave here
0:46:38 > 0:46:42with £2,500 for your charities, very well done, Mark and Laura.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44APPLAUSE
0:46:47 > 0:46:50That is, that's terrific work, very well played.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53You could see in Mark's eyes he knew the category,
0:46:53 > 0:46:55which makes it even scarier, a little bit.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57If we'd had to go on,
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Elderberry Wine would have scored you one point.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04If we'd gone even further to Teacher I Need You,
0:47:04 > 0:47:06would've scored one point as well.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08Harmony was the pointless one up there.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10Very well played, terrific stuff.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12We love our crime fiction in this country, we've got lots of
0:47:12 > 0:47:15very good crime writers as well, you're two of the best.
0:47:15 > 0:47:17If you want to buy a Mark Billingham or Laura Wilson book,
0:47:17 > 0:47:19I really genuinely recommend it,
0:47:19 > 0:47:21both terrific writers and a terrific performance here.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24Let's take a look at some of the other pointless answers.
0:47:24 > 0:47:25On the different albums.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28Caribou tracks, you could have had Dixie Lily, Pinky,
0:47:28 > 0:47:30Solar Prestige A Gammon.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33Ticking, also a pointless answer on that album.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36All sorts of pointless answers on Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,
0:47:36 > 0:47:38you could have Funeral For A Friend, Love Lies Bleeding,
0:47:38 > 0:47:40This Song Has No Title,
0:47:40 > 0:47:42Your Sister Can't Twist (But She Can Rock'n'roll).
0:47:42 > 0:47:45You could have had All The Young Girls Love Alice, Dirty Little Girl,
0:47:45 > 0:47:47or I've Seen That Movie Too.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50You could have had Roy Rogers, Social Disease, Sweet Painted Lady,
0:47:50 > 0:47:52all of those pointless answers.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54And on Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano Player,
0:47:54 > 0:47:56Have Mercy On The Criminal, High Flying Bird,
0:47:56 > 0:48:00and I'm Gonna Be A Teenage Idol, the only pointless answers on that album.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Very well played, guys, what a lovely end to a lovely show.
0:48:03 > 0:48:04Thanks, Richard. Thanks once again
0:48:04 > 0:48:06to our winning players Mark and Laura,
0:48:06 > 0:48:10who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.
0:48:10 > 0:48:11APPLAUSE
0:48:13 > 0:48:14Join us next time
0:48:14 > 0:48:17when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19- Meanwhile it's goodbye from Richard. - Goodbye.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.