0:00:21 > 0:00:24APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28and welcome to this special writers' edition
0:00:28 > 0:00:31of Pointless Celebrities - the show where the aim of the game
0:00:31 > 0:00:33is to score as few points as you can,
0:00:33 > 0:00:36by coming up with the answers no-one else could think of.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41APPLAUSE
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Couple number one.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48I'm Germaine Greer, and I'm working on a new book
0:00:48 > 0:00:51to be called Women For Life On Earth.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I'm Kathy Lette, an author.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57I'm working on the TV adaptation of my latest book, called In Trouble.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58APPLAUSE
0:01:01 > 0:01:02Couple number two.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05I'm Mark Billingham and I'm a crime writer.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07I'm Val McDermid, and so am I.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Couple number three.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14I'm Mark Watson, I'm an author, comedian -
0:01:14 > 0:01:16one of those sort of people.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20And I'm Ian McMillan, I'm a poet and broadcaster
0:01:20 > 0:01:21working on a rhyme for purple.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24APPLAUSE
0:01:24 > 0:01:26And finally, couple number four.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31I'm Freya North, and I'm currently working on my 15th novel.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36My name is Tony Parsons, and I'm a novelist and a journalist.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38APPLAUSE
0:01:39 > 0:01:42And these are today's contestants, thanks very much.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45We'll get to find out more about all of you throughout the show,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Responsible for more head-scratching than nits in a primary school,
0:01:51 > 0:01:54- it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.- Hiya.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57APPLAUSE Evening.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00- What a line-up this is.- I know.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02They're frighteningly clever, aren't they?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Millions of books sold over there.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07- Millions. Terrifying, isn't it? - Unbelievable.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Normally on a show like this, the Cheeky Girls or something will be on
0:02:10 > 0:02:12and you can rely on someone easy to knock out.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- It's like the group of death up there.- I know.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Now, as usual, all of today's questions
0:02:17 > 0:02:19have been put to 100 people before the show.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Our contestants here are looking for
0:02:21 > 0:02:23those all-important Pointless answers -
0:02:23 > 0:02:25those are answers that none of our 100 people gave.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Find one of those and we will add £250 to the jackpot.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30As today's show is a celebrity special,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36We start off with a jackpot of £2,500.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38APPLAUSE
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47OK, all you have to remember, really, is that the pair
0:02:47 > 0:02:50with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated,
0:02:50 > 0:02:52so just make sure you are not that pair.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55And remember, there is no conferring in Rounds One and Two.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58Best of luck. Our first category today is...
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name
0:03:17 > 0:03:21as many...countries that begin with
0:03:21 > 0:03:26C, O, U, N, T, R or Y as they could.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30C, O, U, N, T, R or Y. Richard!
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Yeah, any country in the world that's a sovereign state
0:03:33 > 0:03:34and a member of the UN in its own right.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39We won't accept countries that begin with "Republic of" or "The".
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Any other country of the world that begins with one of those letters.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- Very best of luck.- Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Germaine, welcome back to Pointless.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50You have a new book - do you know when it's going to be out?
0:03:50 > 0:03:54Well, I haven't managed to persuade anyone to publish it yet!
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- Give me a break... - Here's your chance!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- What's it about? - It's called Women For Life On Earth,
0:03:59 > 0:04:01which was the slogan of the Welsh women
0:04:01 > 0:04:04who were the first to arrive at Greenham Common.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09But I think what is really important about feminism in the 21st century
0:04:09 > 0:04:13is that it has to be connected with the struggle
0:04:13 > 0:04:15to keep life on this planet.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19So you're saying in the first chapter someone gets murdered...
0:04:19 > 0:04:20No!
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I don't do people getting murdered.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Well, there's your publisher problem.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26LAUGHTER
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I probably do species getting eliminated.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30OK, that could work.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Er, Germaine.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Would you like to go for a country
0:04:33 > 0:04:35that begins with any of those letters?
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Yes. I'll go for Niger.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Niger, says Germaine.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Let's see if Niger is right,
0:04:41 > 0:04:44let's see how many of our 100 people said Niger.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47It's right.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Look at that! 11! Very well done.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58- Boo!- Good start! Germaine dissatisfied with that,
0:04:58 > 0:04:59but it's a good score.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Yeah, very good answer, Germaine, very good start.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Said it was going to be a good show! - Mark, welcome back.- Hello.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Great to have you back on the show. - Thank you.- I want to ask you about
0:05:08 > 0:05:10this The Other Half project you're doing at the moment.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- My detective likes country music because- I- like country music,
0:05:13 > 0:05:15which is why I wear ludicrous country shirts,
0:05:15 > 0:05:19and I'm working with a country band called My Darling Clementine,
0:05:19 > 0:05:21and I've written a story based around their songs
0:05:21 > 0:05:24and we're touring it round, doing a show,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- and taking the heartache up and down the country.- Lovely.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Now, Mark.- Yes. - A country. A country, please.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Well, as this is an old-style Pointless question
0:05:33 > 0:05:37I feel honour-bound to give an old-style Pointless answer.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38So I'm going to have to say Tuvalu.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Tuvalu, lovely Tuvalu. Excellent.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tuvalu.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Well, Niger scored 11, our only score so far.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Tuvalu, once upon a time a Pointless answer...
0:05:53 > 0:05:55and it's STILL a Pointless answer!
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Look at that! Very well done indeed.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01And that is Pointless, so it adds £250 to the jackpot,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04which takes the total up to £2,750,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06and it scores Mark 0.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Absolutely fantastic, very well done.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Yes, very well played, Mark. Tuvalu.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Er, Mark, welcome.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14You're a prolific comedy writer.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- You've written five novels, I think? - Yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Did you find, just moving from comedy writing to volume writing,
0:06:20 > 0:06:24was that quite a daunting step to take?
0:06:24 > 0:06:29Yeah, but in a way, I'm quite a thoughtful, melancholy person,
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I quite like a long project, and the thing with stand-up is,
0:06:31 > 0:06:33it's very transitory.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35I quite like the feeling of writing something big,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38having a long-term thing to concentrate on.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40So writing actually suits me better than comedy,
0:06:40 > 0:06:42it's just I've ended up being more of a comedian.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Well, listen, what are you going to go for?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47In that case, Nauru.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- Is it "na-roo" or "ny-roo"? - Nauru, Nauru.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53That was the first you gave, and it sounds good to me.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Let's see if Nauru's right,
0:06:55 > 0:06:57let's see how many of our 100 people said Nauru.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00It's right.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06It's sometimes a pointless answer.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09It is again! It is again!
0:07:09 > 0:07:10- Mark, well done! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:10 > 0:07:14Another pointless answer adds another £250 to today's jackpot,
0:07:14 > 0:07:16which takes the total up to £3,000,
0:07:16 > 0:07:18scoring our other Mark nothing.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19That pause was absolutely horrible.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21LAUGHTER
0:07:21 > 0:07:22- Wow, how about that? - What about that?
0:07:22 > 0:07:27- Yeah, very good. Omo Yoran, that's good morning in Nauruan.- Omo Yoran.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Thanks very much, Richard. Tony, welcome.- Thank you.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Talk to me about Max Wolfe. This is a series you've started.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Yeah, Max Wolfe. A few years ago,
0:07:36 > 0:07:39my career felt as though it was pretty much washed-up
0:07:39 > 0:07:43so I asked my wife if I could cash in my pension
0:07:43 > 0:07:49and write a book without a contract, and she said, "Go for it," and...
0:07:49 > 0:07:51it went to number one.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53You know, believe in yourself, follow your dream,
0:07:53 > 0:07:55cash in your pension, what more can I tell you?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Beautifully put.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Now, Tony, I'm going to bring us back to Earth, back to THE Earth,
0:08:00 > 0:08:04in fact, with a country beginning with any of those letters.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- Well, stiff competition. I'll go for Yemen.- Yemen says Tony.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Let's see how many of our 100 people said Yemen.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18It's right. Our high score, at this point, is 11 until now. Oh, Tony!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21APPLAUSE
0:08:21 > 0:08:26- Oh! Yemen, 60.- It's one of those ones where you see the Y.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Yeah, man.- Yeah. LAUGHTER
0:08:28 > 0:08:29Thanks very much, Richard.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Well, we're halfway through the round,
0:08:31 > 0:08:32let's take a look at those scores.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34Only three scores between the four pairs.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Zero, the best score there.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Very well done, Mark W and Mark B.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Then up to 11, where Germaine and Kathy are looking pretty
0:08:41 > 0:08:46strong as well on account of 60 for Yemen there, Tony, I'm so sorry.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Yeah, well, it's stiff competition now.- Yeah, absolutely.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51So, yeah, Freya, you've got a bit of a mountain to climb there.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54So, best of luck, we're going to come back down the line now.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Can the second players please step up to the podium?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02- There we are. Freya, welcome to Pointless.- Thank you.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Now, Freya, where do you do your writing?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Well, if I'm feeling inspired,
0:09:06 > 0:09:09I tend to do it from the converted stable in my back garden,
0:09:09 > 0:09:11and if I'm not feeling inspired,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14I tend to do it from the Welwyn Garden City Library.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17But are you generally good at discipline?
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Do you make yourself settle down and work?
0:09:20 > 0:09:23I only have a limited amount of time in-between the school run,
0:09:23 > 0:09:28so that's when I make sure that I maximise my word count.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Very good.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Well, Freya, yes, you've got a bit of a job ahead of you here.
0:09:34 > 0:09:3660, quite a high score there.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40We want a lovely low-scoring country from you, if possible.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- The Central African Republic.- Oh!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Beloved to Pointless.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49- Can I have that?- You can have that.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51There's no red line for you as you are the high-scorers but let's
0:09:51 > 0:09:55see how many of our 100 people said Central African Republic.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00It's absolutely right. Once upon a time,
0:10:00 > 0:10:03this was a pointless answer every time it came up.
0:10:03 > 0:10:04Let's see where it is now.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07It gets 2. Very, very well done indeed, Freya.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08APPLAUSE
0:10:09 > 0:10:1062 is your total.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Very well played, Freya, might have kept yourself in the game there.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19- It's always lovely to hear the Central African Republic.- Mmm.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Thank you very much indeed. Ian!- Yes?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Ian, a warm welcome to Pointless. It's wonderful to have you here.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27You have been, I keep seeing the words "poet in residence".
0:10:27 > 0:10:30You're obviously, famously, at Barnsley, you were the poet
0:10:30 > 0:10:33in residence, but you were then the poet in residence at the ENO.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35- Yes, the English National Opera. - Yeah.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I enjoyed doing it but I realised...
0:10:37 > 0:10:40At the moment, I'm writing an opera, a libretto,
0:10:40 > 0:10:44in Yorkshire dialect because the idea is can the flat vowels
0:10:44 > 0:10:47that I employ be sung on a long note?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Well, they can, cos in Italian, they are.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52The flat "ah", an Italian "ah", sounds wonderful.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54It's proving quite difficult, to be honest with you.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57We never have these conversations with the Cheeky Girls, do we?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59- No, never. - LAUGHTER
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- It's a new one. - Ian, so you're on nothing.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Our high-scorers at the moment are Freya
0:11:03 > 0:11:08and Tony on 62, so 61 or less sees you comfortably through.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10The trouble is, I'm like a bloke who turns up to party with
0:11:10 > 0:11:13the shirt that everybody else is wearing cos every one that's been
0:11:13 > 0:11:16said, I've thought of and thought I was really clever, so I realise
0:11:16 > 0:11:21now I should have gone first but all I can say is the word Chad.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24And why wouldn't you? Chad. Here is your red line.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27Get below that with Chad, and you're through to Round Two.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Let's see how many of our 100 people said Chad.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- It's not a country.- It IS a country.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Oh!- It also gets you into Round Two.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38Still going down, look at that, Ian.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39It's beautiful, 7.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Oh, Chad! I love Chad.- Brilliant.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44APPLAUSE
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- 7 for Chad takes your total up to 7. - Very well played, Ian.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50It's no Central African Republic, but it's very good.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Val, welcome back!- Thank you.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Tell me about the Harrogate crime-writers' festival
0:11:55 > 0:11:56that you set up.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Well, we started it, I think, 13 or 14 years ago and at that time,
0:12:00 > 0:12:03there wasn't really a dedicated crime-writing festival in the UK.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06The first year, everybody was a bit sceptical about it
0:12:06 > 0:12:09and I had to go around duffing people up, basically,
0:12:09 > 0:12:10to get them to come,
0:12:10 > 0:12:13but they had such a good time that after that, we were beating them off
0:12:13 > 0:12:15with a stick, and it's become a very popular festival.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Wonderful. OK, now, listen, you're on nothing.
0:12:18 > 0:12:2162 remains the high score, Tony and Freya over there.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23What have you got for us, Val?
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Well, Mark started so well with a country beginning with T-U,
0:12:26 > 0:12:31I thought I'd follow him and go for Turkmenistan.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33- Wonderful.- Wow.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35There's your red line, Val.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Get below that with Turkmenistan and you are through to the next round.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Let's see how many people said Turkmenistan.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Through you go.
0:12:50 > 0:12:523! Very, very well done indeed, Val.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54APPLAUSE
0:12:54 > 0:12:563 for Turkmenistan.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Goodness me, 3 points between the pair of them,
0:12:59 > 0:13:00that is a strong podium there.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Thank you. Kathy, welcome. You've been so patient.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Now, Kathy,
0:13:04 > 0:13:08- a number of your books have been adapted for television, film.- Yes.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12- Opera?- Opera, that's right. I've got a book turned into an opera.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13It was called
0:13:13 > 0:13:16How To Kill Your Husband (And Other Handy Household Hints),
0:13:16 > 0:13:17which women liked a lot, yeah.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21But when you're writing, are you ever aware of the potential for...?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- I only write because it's cheaper than therapy.- Right.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27And I've actually cannibalised my entire life to this point,
0:13:27 > 0:13:29so I've written 13 novels so I've told my husband
0:13:29 > 0:13:32I have to have an affair to get some more material, you know.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35He thinks he should have the affair because it will give me
0:13:35 > 0:13:36more angst, hence a better book,
0:13:36 > 0:13:40but, you know, I am looking for a candidate, so I'm feeling
0:13:40 > 0:13:43a little frisson here with you boys, we'll see how the day pans out.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- What? With BOTH of us? - Well, I'll be very...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- LAUGHTER - It could be a long book.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51- So, Kathy...- Yes.- ..on that note, what are you going to go for?
0:13:51 > 0:13:56You're on 11, you have to score 50 or less to remain with us.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Well, I'm thinking T, I'm thinking perhaps Tanzania.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Tanzania. There is your red line.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04If you can get below that with Tanzania,
0:14:04 > 0:14:06you are through to the next round.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Let's see how many of our 100 people said Tanzania.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12It's right.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Phew.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15You're through.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Down it goes to 7, very well done indeed.
0:14:19 > 0:14:2018 is your total.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22APPLAUSE
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Very well done.- Very well played, Kathy, another good answer.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26In fact, good answers from everyone.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Here are the pointless answers that we haven't seen.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Eh, Cabo Verde, which is the new name for the Cape Verde islands.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Cote D'Ivoire, there's Nauru, very well played, Mark.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38There's a couple more.
0:14:38 > 0:14:43Timor-Leste, which is the official name of East Timor, Togo and Tuvalu.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Those were all the pointless answers.- Thanks, Richard.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48At the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home,
0:14:48 > 0:14:52I can't bear this, with their high score of 62, it's Freya and Tony.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53I'm...
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Yeah, I really feel like I've let Freya down, you know,
0:14:55 > 0:14:58I feel like one of those clod-hopping celebrities, you know,
0:14:58 > 0:15:00that's let down a brilliant professional dancer,
0:15:00 > 0:15:03although I know that's a different show.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Although your analysis is absolutely correct.- Yeah.
0:15:05 > 0:15:06LAUGHTER
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Listen, Freya and Tony, it's been wonderful having you on the show.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Thank you so much for playing.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Excellent, excellent contestants. Freya and Tony.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14APPLAUSE
0:15:15 > 0:15:19But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25And so now we are down to three pairs.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Sadly, we'll have to say goodbye to another pair
0:15:27 > 0:15:30at the end of this round. Best of luck to all three pairs.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Our category for Round Two today is....
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Famous People. Germaine's furious.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43who's going to go second?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51And the question concerns...
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Richard.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58On each pass, we're going to show you six pairs of celebrities.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02In each case, the surname of one is also the first name of the other.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04Can you tell us their names, please? Very best of luck.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07OK, let's look at our first board of six, and here they are.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09We have got...
0:16:09 > 0:16:12ALEXANDER READS OPTIONS
0:16:36 > 0:16:37I'll read those all again.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50There we go. Kathy?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- I'm not sure which one is the most obscure.- Mm.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I'll go for...
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Arlene Phillips.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00OK, Arlene Phillips Idowu. OK.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Let's see if that's right
0:17:01 > 0:17:05and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Phillips.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07It is right.
0:17:09 > 0:17:1048.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13APPLAUSE
0:17:13 > 0:17:15I don't know, it might be, it might be a good score.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18They may all be around that kind of area.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19- 48.- Yeah, well played, Kathy.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21The founder of Hot Gossip
0:17:21 > 0:17:23and silver medallist at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Val.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32See, I'm drawn towards Debbie, the Blondie singer,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35but I kind of think that quite a lot of people are going to know that,
0:17:35 > 0:17:38so I think I should go with my other bent, as it were,
0:17:38 > 0:17:39and go for Jeremy Brett.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43Brett. Brett Anderson, Jeremy Brett.
0:17:43 > 0:17:44Let's see if that's right
0:17:44 > 0:17:47and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Brett.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52That's a good answer, 48's our only score at the moment
0:17:52 > 0:17:53and you've passed that.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Very well done indeed, 17 for Brett.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59APPLAUSE
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Very well played, Val, Jeremy Brett and Brett Anderson.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Ian, you are the last person to have this board,
0:18:05 > 0:18:07so if you fancied it, you could talk us through
0:18:07 > 0:18:11all of the remaining answers then pick which one you want to submit.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13It's really hard because, in each of the pairs,
0:18:13 > 0:18:17there's a well-known one and one that's not quite so well known.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- Yeah.- So I'm going to go with...
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Moira Stuart and Stuart Broad.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25OK, Moira Stuart, Stuart Broad.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Let's see if that's right,
0:18:27 > 0:18:30let's see how many of our 100 people said that.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Well, 48's our high score and 17 our low.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36Ooh, 46!
0:18:36 > 0:18:38APPLAUSE
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Do you know what, interestingly, Ian, I don't know if it was
0:18:41 > 0:18:43the Moira or the Broad end of that that was...
0:18:43 > 0:18:47I think Moira Stuart's more famous than Stuart Broad, isn't she?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- I don't know.- Surely. Let's fill in the rest of this board.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Now, Val, you were tempted to go for the top one,
0:18:52 > 0:18:54which of course is Debbie Harry, Harry Kane.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Would have scored an awful lot more points, though,
0:18:56 > 0:18:58your instincts were right. 66 for that.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01The next best answer on the board is actually Larry...
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- Grayson.- Larry Grayson.- Yeah. - Yeah, Grayson Perry.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Would have scored you 35.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08And right at the bottom there, the biggest scorer of all,
0:19:08 > 0:19:11- Lenny Henry, Henry Cooper, 81 points.- Thanks very much indeed.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14We're halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.
0:19:14 > 0:19:1617, very well done, Val. Oh, they're so good!
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Then up to 46, where we find Ian and Mark W,
0:19:19 > 0:19:21and then at 48, Kathy and Germaine.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Right, we're going to come back down the line.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Can the second players please step up to the podium?
0:19:29 > 0:19:33OK, let's put six more shared names up on the board, and here they are.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34We have got...
0:20:00 > 0:20:02I'll read those all one last time.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Mark.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15I'm, I'm quite... I'm quite confident with them.
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- I think I'll have Greg Norman and Norman Foster.- Norman, says Mark.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22So you want to be scoring one or less to avoid becoming
0:20:22 > 0:20:24- the new high-scorers. - I'll do my best!
0:20:24 > 0:20:26There's your red line - get below that,
0:20:26 > 0:20:28you are definitely in the head-to-head.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Norman, let's see how many of our 100 people said Norman.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38It is good, Mark, it's very good.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40It's 30, look at that, 30.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42The second lowest score so far.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44APPLAUSE
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- Takes your total up to 76. - Well played, Mark, very nice answer.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50The Great White Shark, Greg Norman was known as.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52There we are, thank you very much, Richard.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- Now, Mark.- Yes.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58OK, I am going to say, I'm going to go for the bottom one
0:20:58 > 0:21:01and say James Joyce, Joyce Grenfell.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Joyce, Joyce, well, let's see.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04So, there's your red line -
0:21:04 > 0:21:07if you get below that red line you're into the head-to-head.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Let's see how many people said Joyce.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Well, you're through. It did what it had to do.
0:21:15 > 0:21:1729, much of a muchness there.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19APPLAUSE
0:21:19 > 0:21:2129, taking your total up to 46.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23Very well played.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27OK, now, thank you very much. We now have a game on our hands here.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Germaine, you have to score 27 or less
0:21:30 > 0:21:34to remain with us. The board is all yours, why not talk us through it?
0:21:34 > 0:21:35One I absolutely don't know,
0:21:35 > 0:21:39one which would be a suicidal guess,
0:21:39 > 0:21:41and one I'm sure of.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- I'm going to go for number two... - Yeah.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46And I'm going to say Lee.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50Spike Lee, Lee Evans.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Now, here's your red line. If you can get below that with Lee,
0:21:52 > 0:21:55you are in the head-to-head. That would be heroic.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Let's see. Spike Lee, Lee Evans, is it right, how many people said it?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03Oh, it's right.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Still going down...
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Oh, no, 44!
0:22:07 > 0:22:08APPLAUSE
0:22:10 > 0:22:1244 takes your total up to 92.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17That's not a blaze of humiliation. It's not a blaze of glory, but not
0:22:17 > 0:22:18a blaze of humiliation either.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Somewhere in the middle, I would say.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Er, the rest of this board looks like...
0:22:22 > 0:22:23Xander, you know the top one?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25- Kelly.- Matthew Kelly, Kelly Osbourne.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29- It's the next best answer there, 34 points. Bobby?- Charlton.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Bobby Charlton, Charlton Heston, would have scored you 68.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36- And Carmen...?- Miranda.- Carmen Miranda and Miranda Hart for 56.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39So the best answer there - Joyce.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Thank you very much indeed. So at the end of our second round,
0:22:42 > 0:22:45the pair who are heading home with their high score of 92,
0:22:45 > 0:22:47I'm afraid it is Germaine and Kathy.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51I'm so sorry, you... Pretty slim pickings on that board.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Please come back and play again. - We will.- We will.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Thank you so much, Germaine and Kathy!- Bye!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57APPLAUSE
0:22:59 > 0:23:02But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Congratulations, Val and Mark B,
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Ian and Mark W, you are now one step closer to the final
0:23:11 > 0:23:13and a chance to play for our jackpot,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15which currently stands at...
0:23:15 > 0:23:17£3,000.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19APPLAUSE
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Now, to decide who's going to the final and play for that jackpot,
0:23:24 > 0:23:26you are now going to go head-to-head.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28The difference is you can now confer
0:23:28 > 0:23:31before you give your answers, and the first pair to win two questions
0:23:31 > 0:23:33will be playing for that jackpot.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35We've had pointless answers from each of you,
0:23:35 > 0:23:37we've had low scores from each of you -
0:23:37 > 0:23:40just the...galaxies of knowledge.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- Anyway, there we go. - LAUGHTER
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Let's play the head-to-head!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Here comes your first question, and it concerns...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58LAUGHTER
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Species Of Penguin.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04What better than to show five pictures of different penguins
0:24:04 > 0:24:07and ask you to tell us what sort of penguin they are, please.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- OK, thank you, Richard.- A pleasure.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12Let us reveal our five penguins, and here they come.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14We've got...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Aw!
0:24:35 > 0:24:36There we are.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Five penguins.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Val and Mark B, you've been our low-scorers throughout,
0:24:41 > 0:24:42so you get to answer first.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- MARK W:- I think we know three.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- MARK B:- Oh, I so know B, I just can't...
0:24:49 > 0:24:52All right, we're going to say C is the Blue penguin.
0:24:52 > 0:24:53The Blue penguin.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55The Blue penguin, C.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59Now, Ian and Mark W, do you feel up to talking us through
0:24:59 > 0:25:00the other penguins?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Presumably, King and Emperor, we think, there.- Yeah.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06The funny thing, A, I think Macaronic.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09You'd be insane to gamble on it, though.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- The Macaronic penguin.- Macaronic...
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I mean, basically, we've got to go for one of these two.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14I think we have.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17Is a King penguin or an Emperor penguin more well-known?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I think more people know the Emperor penguin.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21- Yep.- Yes.- King.- King.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23You're going to go for King.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25OK, so we have Blue penguin and we have King penguin.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Val and Mark B went for Blue penguin for C. Let's see if it's right.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Let's see how many of our 100 people said Blue penguin.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37It is right.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Come on.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42- 34! - APPLAUSE
0:25:45 > 0:25:4634 for Blue penguin.
0:25:46 > 0:25:51Now then, Ian and Mark W have said that D is the King penguin.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55Let's find out how many of our 100 people said King.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oh! Look at that!
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Yay!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02- There we are. - APPLAUSE
0:26:04 > 0:26:05We are... Which means very well done.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Val and Mark B, after one question, you are up 1-0.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Now, Mark, there is a Macaroni penguin, which is
0:26:11 > 0:26:16what was going around in your head, but that's the Magellanic penguin.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18- Ah!- That's not unlike what you said, Ian.
0:26:18 > 0:26:2011 points.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- He said the Genobo penguin. - Oh, you should have said it!
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- It is the Genobo penguin. - No, it isn't. No, it's not. LAUGHTER
0:26:28 > 0:26:31You should have said it because it would have been funny.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33It is the Gentoo penguin.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Gentoo penguin. 17 points.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Gentoo penguin.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41And E was, of course, the Emperor penguin.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44It would have scored fewer points, but still wouldn't have won
0:26:44 > 0:26:46the game for you - 70 points.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Thank you very much, indeed.
0:26:48 > 0:26:53OK, this bruising contest continues with question two.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55And here it comes. It concerns...
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Themes From Westerns. Richard.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03We're going to play you five themes from Westerns.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05We need you to tell us the film or TV show
0:27:05 > 0:27:08that each of these come from, please.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Fabulous. OK, so let's reveal our five themes from Westerns,
0:27:10 > 0:27:12and here they come.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Here is A.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17THEME A PLAYS
0:27:42 > 0:27:44B...
0:27:44 > 0:27:45THEME B PLAYS
0:28:06 > 0:28:08C...
0:28:08 > 0:28:10THEME C PLAYS
0:28:27 > 0:28:29D...
0:28:29 > 0:28:32THEME D PLAYS
0:28:50 > 0:28:51And E...
0:28:51 > 0:28:53THEME E PLAYS
0:29:14 > 0:29:17So there we are, five themes from Westerns.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20Now then, Ian and Mark W, you get to go first this time
0:29:20 > 0:29:24and you've got to be as ruthless as Val and Mark B were last time.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28I think B is less well-known.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31- My dad liked it, shall we go for B?- Mmm.- Right.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Well, I think it's Rawhide.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37Rawhide. Rawhide, say Ian and Mark W.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39OK, now Val and Mark B.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41I think they're absolutely right with Rawhide.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43C is The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45D is The Lone Ranger
0:29:45 > 0:29:47- and I think we are going for E... - Yeah.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49..which is The Big Country.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51The Big Country say, Val and Mark.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54We have Rawhide versus The Big Country.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Now, Ian and Mark W said Rawhide for B.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05It is right.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06- AUDIENCE GASPS - 71.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08- APPLAUSE - Gosh!
0:30:11 > 0:30:1371.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Val and Mark B have gone for The Big Country for E.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Let's see if that's right and, if it is,
0:30:19 > 0:30:23let's see how many of our 100 people said The Big Country.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27- Oh!- Oh, a surprise twist!
0:30:27 > 0:30:31A surprise twist, which means, Ian and Mark W,
0:30:31 > 0:30:34you are back in the game after two questions. Oh!
0:30:34 > 0:30:35Heat and light...
0:30:35 > 0:30:38- We thought it was that, as well. - I thought it was The Big Country.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- Oh...- Shall we have a little listen to it again?- It's 1-1.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45Have a little listen to E. THEME E PLAYS
0:30:45 > 0:30:46- # The Big Country. - The Big Country. #
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Now, you thought it was The Big Country -
0:30:48 > 0:30:49I thought it was High Chaparral.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52- It is, of course...- The Magnificent Seven.- The Magnificent Seven.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54- ALL:- Oh...
0:30:54 > 0:30:58The Magnificent Seven, and would have scored you 17 points.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00Let's go to A, and this is...
0:31:00 > 0:31:03THEME A PLAYS
0:31:03 > 0:31:05- Dances With Wolves.- Oh...
0:31:05 > 0:31:08John Barry, Dances With Wolves.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09Six points for that.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12C, you're absolutely right, was The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16It would have seen you into the final if you'd said it.
0:31:16 > 0:31:1758 points.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21And you are absolutely right about D, as well,
0:31:21 > 0:31:23that would have seen you into the final, too.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25The Lone Ranger, because it would have scored you 36 points.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28The William Tell Overture by Rossini.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34- Mmm.- Game on.- Wow, there we go. Brilliant.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36OK, it all comes down to our third and final question.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38This is the decider. Best of luck to both pairs.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Our third question concerns...
0:31:42 > 0:31:44LAUGHTER
0:31:44 > 0:31:48- Er, Bottoms, Richard.- Five questions now concerning bottoms.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51The pair that gives us the most obscure answer will be going through
0:31:51 > 0:31:52and playing in today's final,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55so very, very, very best of luck to both teams.
0:31:55 > 0:31:56Thanks very much, indeed.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Let's reveal our five clues, and here they are.
0:32:21 > 0:32:22I'll read those all one last time.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42Now, Val and Mark B will answer first.
0:32:42 > 0:32:47We are going to take a punt on the BOTTOM answer
0:32:47 > 0:32:51and say that Eddie was played by Adrian Edmondson.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Adrian Edmondson, say Val and Mark B, for Eddie.
0:32:55 > 0:32:56Now, Ian and Mark W.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58I think we've got to go for the Bottomless Pit.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00We've got to decide which Pitt it is.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03So Pitt the Younger and Pitt the Elder, is our choice.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Let's both say at the same time and see what happens.
0:33:05 > 0:33:06- Yeah, all right.- After three.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08- BOTH:- One, two, three.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10- Pitt the Younger.- Younger. Oh, I just said Younger.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12You both went for the Younger.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14OK, so you're going to say Pitt the Younger.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17We have Adrian Edmondson, and we have Pitt the Younger.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19I think they know it's wrong.
0:33:19 > 0:33:23Val and Mark B said Adrian Edmondson played Eddie
0:33:23 > 0:33:24in the BBC sitcom Bottom.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it.
0:33:30 > 0:33:31It's right!
0:33:31 > 0:33:32It's right. It's right.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38- 24. - APPLAUSE
0:33:43 > 0:33:47OK, now, Ian and Mark W have said Pitt the Younger...
0:33:47 > 0:33:50Don't do that with your hand, I don't like that.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52..was born in 1769.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55Is it the right Pitt? How many people said it if it is right?
0:33:58 > 0:33:59It's right!
0:33:59 > 0:34:01It's the right Pitt.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06- And it wins! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Five for Pitt the Younger.
0:34:14 > 0:34:15Very well done, indeed.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Ian and Mark W, after three questions,
0:34:18 > 0:34:21that's 2-1 to you, you are through to the final. Richard...
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Now, Queen would not have won you the points.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Queen would have scored you 51.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29You would've got 34 for Conservative, Virginia Bottomley.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32And you would've got 38 for the Shakespeare play,
0:34:32 > 0:34:34which is A Midsummer Night's Dream.
0:34:34 > 0:34:37William Pitt the Younger, that's the best answer up there.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Well, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round is
0:34:40 > 0:34:41Val and Mark B.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44I mean, exemplary play all the way through the show today.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46I mean, just wonderful.
0:34:46 > 0:34:50Thank you so much, Val, Mark Billingham, lovely having you here.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53- Thank you.- Thank you. - APPLAUSE
0:34:54 > 0:34:56But for Ian and Mark Watson,
0:34:56 > 0:34:58it is now time for our Pointless final!
0:35:01 > 0:35:05Congratulations, Ian and Mark, you've seen off all the competition
0:35:05 > 0:35:08and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your
0:35:17 > 0:35:20charities, and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands
0:35:20 > 0:35:23at £3,000. There we are.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25APPLAUSE
0:35:27 > 0:35:29As always, you get to choose your category from the four
0:35:29 > 0:35:33we put up on the board. Let's see what today's selection looks like.
0:35:33 > 0:35:34We've got...
0:35:41 > 0:35:44What's your strong point, Mark, in that list?
0:35:44 > 0:35:46- I don't know anything about jazz, really.- All right.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48- Austen On Film, I wouldn't be confident.- No.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51- I suppose the Year 2006 because... - You were alive.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53I was alive, I definitely was around.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56I think the Year 2006 is both wide and narrow at the same time
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- and that'll help us, I think. - Yeah, exactly.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02- We were looking for something wide and narrow, weren't we?- We are.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04- Always.- That's what we said. - Yes, we did.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07- So we'll go for the wide and narrow one.- OK.- The Year 2006.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11- The Year 2006.- Very best of luck. Three different questions here,
0:36:11 > 0:36:13all from the Year 2006. We are looking for...
0:36:13 > 0:36:15Any act who had a number-one single
0:36:15 > 0:36:18in the UK's singles' charts in 2006.
0:36:18 > 0:36:22We are looking for any player in the FIFA World Cup
0:36:22 > 0:36:27England squad from 2006, and we are looking for
0:36:27 > 0:36:30any UK Cabinet ministers in May 2006 -
0:36:30 > 0:36:34they had a re-shuffle then. So any UK number one-act from 2006.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38Any member of that World Cup England squad or any UK Cabinet members,
0:36:38 > 0:36:425th May 2006. Very, very best of luck.
0:36:42 > 0:36:43Thank you very much, indeed.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46Now, as always, you've up to one minute to come up with three answers
0:36:46 > 0:36:49and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for
0:36:49 > 0:36:52just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?
0:36:52 > 0:36:55- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00There they are, your time starts now!
0:37:00 > 0:37:04- Go on, then.- Right, oh, blimey. I wish I hadn't said sport...
0:37:04 > 0:37:06That World Cup was the one in Germany where we
0:37:06 > 0:37:09lost on penalties to Portugal and Rooney got sent off.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12- That doesn't help, Rooney is going to come up.- Yes.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14You've got to think about the goalkeepers.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17There will be three goalkeepers, and the reserves...
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- So the reserve goalkeeper... - David James was probably the main...
0:37:20 > 0:37:23- Oh, crikey.- Rob Green? - Quite likely but I don't know.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I remember Walcott was in that World Cup squad
0:37:25 > 0:37:26because he was picked very early.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30- He didn't play much. - That's right, so maybe Walcott.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32Oh, crikey. What about the Cabinet?
0:37:32 > 0:37:342006.
0:37:34 > 0:37:38Um, and as for actually who had a number one, that's...
0:37:38 > 0:37:42- UK Cabinet members as of the 5th May 2006.- Yeah.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44You work on that, I'll think about the England squad.
0:37:44 > 0:37:462006, number ones is hard, isn't it?
0:37:46 > 0:37:49We might almost go for two footballers.
0:37:49 > 0:37:50Ten seconds left.
0:37:50 > 0:37:51Or Cabinet members...
0:37:51 > 0:37:54We don't have to name them until it stops, is that right?
0:37:54 > 0:37:57I would say we are less than fully prepared at this point.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Um... OK.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Yeah, I think that went really well.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03XANDER CHUCKLES
0:38:03 > 0:38:05There's your time up. I now need your three answers.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07MARK LAUGHS
0:38:07 > 0:38:11I think with the Cabinet members, it's the guy who left the note.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14- Who's that?- I think it is Liam Byrne.- Liam Byrne.
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Do you want to nominate him as one of your answers?
0:38:16 > 0:38:19- We want to nominate Liam Byrne, and footballers...- Theo Walcott.
0:38:19 > 0:38:23Theo Walcott. OK, so Liam Byrne, Theo Walcott and finally...?
0:38:23 > 0:38:26- Shall we try a third-choice goalkeeper?- Third-choice goalkeeper.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29Who's that Birmingham goalkeeper, what's his name?
0:38:29 > 0:38:32- Jack Butland.- Yes, I think it might have been him.- Let's try him!
0:38:32 > 0:38:33It could have been Butland.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36Liam Byrne, Jack Butland and Theo Walcott.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Liam Byrne because people don't remember Cabinet members.
0:38:42 > 0:38:44- Liam Byrne, we'll put him last, then, shall we?- Yeah.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47What shall we put first, your least likely to be pointless?
0:38:47 > 0:38:49- I don't think Butland is right. - He's least likely.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52OK, so Butland goes first and Theo Walcott in the middle.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54OK, let's pop those up on the board in that order, then,
0:38:54 > 0:38:57and here they are. We have got...
0:39:02 > 0:39:04If one of these is pointless,
0:39:04 > 0:39:06what are you doing with your jackpot?
0:39:06 > 0:39:09What charities are you playing for? Ian?
0:39:09 > 0:39:12I'm doing it for a charity based in Barnsley called Creative Recovery,
0:39:12 > 0:39:16who use creative work to help people with alcohol
0:39:16 > 0:39:18and drug addictions and with mental-health problems because,
0:39:18 > 0:39:22as we all know, the arts is a great way to make yourself feel
0:39:22 > 0:39:23- more like a human being.- Yeah.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25Very good. Mark?
0:39:25 > 0:39:28My charity is the Against Malaria Foundation,
0:39:28 > 0:39:33which pays for and puts up mosquito nets all over malaria-affected
0:39:33 > 0:39:36areas and saves quite a few lives, which makes me
0:39:36 > 0:39:38feel even worse about my choices now.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42APPLAUSE
0:39:44 > 0:39:46Two fantastic charities there.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Please can one of these answers be pointless,
0:39:48 > 0:39:51so you can take that jackpot home to share between them.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53OK, in the first instance
0:39:53 > 0:39:57we were looking for FIFA World Cup England squad members from 2006.
0:39:57 > 0:39:58Jack Butland was your answer.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01Let's see if it's right and, if it is, how many people said it.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03If it's pointless, it'll win the jackpot.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Oh, not Jack Butland!
0:40:08 > 0:40:12- That was a gamble, that was.- It was a gamble, but it was a good gamble.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14OK, your second answer was Theo Walcott.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16Once again, we are looking
0:40:16 > 0:40:19for England squad members from the FIFA World Cup 2006.
0:40:19 > 0:40:22Let's see if it's right and see if it's pointless.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25If it's both of those things, you will leave here with £3,000.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29It is right!
0:40:29 > 0:40:32Jack Butland turned out to be incorrect.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34Theo Walcott absolutely on the money.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37Down through the 20s, through the teens, into single figures,
0:40:37 > 0:40:39Still going down. Still going down!
0:40:39 > 0:40:41Two for Theo Walcott.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43APPLAUSE
0:40:48 > 0:40:52That's more like it. Only one more shot at today's jackpot.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55Everything now riding on your third and final answer,
0:40:55 > 0:40:56which is Liam Byrne.
0:40:56 > 0:41:00We were looking for Cabinet members in 2006 after the 5th May reshuffle.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03If Liam Byrne is right, and if it's pointless, it wins you £3,000.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06Let's see how may people said it. Liam Byrne, please be pointless.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11No!
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Oh, bad luck. Bad luck.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15APPLAUSE
0:41:18 > 0:41:19Bad luck.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Three good efforts there, but unfortunately you didn't
0:41:21 > 0:41:24manage to find that all-important pointless answer.
0:41:24 > 0:41:26I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £3,000.
0:41:26 > 0:41:29However, as it is a celebrity special, we are going to donate
0:41:29 > 0:41:33£500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37You do, of course, get to take home a Pointless trophy to remember it.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39APPLAUSE
0:41:42 > 0:41:43It really was a terrific show
0:41:43 > 0:41:46and a valiant effort in this final round, as well.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49Jack Butland, he was 13 in 2006.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52- That's probably... - One of the reasons he wasn't taken.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Liam Byrne, funnily enough, Ian, when that question came up
0:41:54 > 0:41:57and I always play along, the first name that came into my head,
0:41:57 > 0:42:00but he didn't join the Cabinet until 2009.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03Let's take a look at the UK number ones, you didn't have a go at these,
0:42:03 > 0:42:05but I know some people at home would have done.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15You also could have had Akon, My Chemical Romance,
0:42:15 > 0:42:18Nelly, Shayne Ward, Notorious BIG - lots of answers there.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Before we look at the football one, any other
0:42:20 > 0:42:22answers that have come to your mind?
0:42:22 > 0:42:24I know you were looking for who the goalies were in that.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27- It's not Robert Green, is it? - It's not Rob Green.
0:42:27 > 0:42:30Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.
0:42:30 > 0:42:31- Joe Cole.- Yeah.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34Paul Robinson was a pointless answer.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Peter Crouch, Sol Campbell.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38- The other goalie was Scott Carson. - Carson.
0:42:38 > 0:42:41Stewart Downing, a pointless answer, and Wayne Bridge.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44Those Cabinet ministers, again, lots of names you will know here.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51You could've had Stephen Timms, Valerie Amos -
0:42:51 > 0:42:53lots of pointless answers.
0:42:53 > 0:42:54Well done if you got any at home.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57This author special has been terrific,
0:42:57 > 0:43:00I'm sorry you just fell short at the last hurdle.
0:43:00 > 0:43:03Thanks very much. Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to Ian and Mark,
0:43:03 > 0:43:06but we have loved having you on the show.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Thank you so much for playing - brilliant, brilliant contestants.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11APPLAUSE
0:43:12 > 0:43:14Join us next time, when we'll be putting
0:43:14 > 0:43:16more obscure knowledge to the test.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18- Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...- Goodbye.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20And it's goodbye from me, goodbye.