Episode 9

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0:00:20 > 0:00:23- APPLAUSE - Thank you very much indeed.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and welcome to Pointless,

0:00:26 > 0:00:27the show where the aim of the game is to find

0:00:27 > 0:00:29the most obscure answers possible.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Let's meet today's players.

0:00:36 > 0:00:37And couple number one.

0:00:37 > 0:00:38Hello, I'm Mike, this is Jan.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41We've been friends for more years than we can remember.

0:00:41 > 0:00:43I'm from Dorset, Jan's from Devon, and we're both retired.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45Couple number two.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47Hi, I'm Kevin, I work in outside catering.

0:00:47 > 0:00:51And this is my father, Bob, who is a part-time car park attendant,

0:00:51 > 0:00:53and we're both from Ipswich, Suffolk.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Couple number three.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Hi, I'm Malcolm, this is my colleague, Dawn.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58We're data warehouse developers.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01I'm from Northampton, and she's from Birmingham.

0:01:01 > 0:01:02And, finally, couple number four.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04Hi, I'm Osman. I'm a web developer,

0:01:04 > 0:01:06and this is my girlfriend, Poppy, who's an aid worker,

0:01:06 > 0:01:07and we're from London.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09And these are today's contestants.

0:01:09 > 0:01:11APPLAUSE

0:01:11 > 0:01:13Thanks very much, all of you.

0:01:13 > 0:01:14We will find out more about you

0:01:14 > 0:01:16throughout the show as it goes along.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

0:01:18 > 0:01:21He's harder to follow than a Swahili sat nav.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26APPLAUSE Hiya. Hi, everybody. Afternoon.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Good afternoon to you. - Good afternoon to you.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32- Are you well?- I'm very well.

0:01:32 > 0:01:33I'm liking the mint.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35- Oh, this?- The mint. - Oh, thank you.- The mint.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37It's the first thing I found this morning.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40- Listen...- I just threw it on. - Threw it on. Yeah.

0:01:40 > 0:01:41Only one returning pair from last time -

0:01:41 > 0:01:43that's Osman and Poppy.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Now, they got knocked out in the first round.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46I think I worked out why.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50I think it's cos the studio physically can't take too much Osman.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Know what I mean? You've got me and there's you as well.

0:01:52 > 0:01:56But since the last show, I've had structural reinforcements brought in.

0:01:56 > 0:01:59We've had health and safety people. It is now absolutely Osman-proof.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02We could probably take two or three more Osmans if they came along.

0:02:02 > 0:02:03Hopefully they won't.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05- Two jackpots in a row we've given away.- I know. Shocking.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07- That's good.- It is. It is good.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Well, it's good for the people who won them,

0:02:10 > 0:02:13very bad for if, for example, you're a contestant today -

0:02:13 > 0:02:14it would be very bad.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Exactly that. Thank you.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18So, yes, all our questions on Pointless

0:02:18 > 0:02:20have been put to 100 people before the show.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22Our contestants must find the obscure answers

0:02:22 > 0:02:24those 100 people didn't get.

0:02:24 > 0:02:27Of course, everyone's trying to find a pointless answer,

0:02:27 > 0:02:29that being an answer that none of our 100 people gave.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Well, as you'll have gathered,

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Steve and Peter won the jackpot last time,

0:02:36 > 0:02:39so today's jackpot starts off back at £1,000.

0:02:39 > 0:02:40There it is.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50OK. Now, all you have to remember is that

0:02:50 > 0:02:52the pair with the highest score at the end of each round

0:02:52 > 0:02:53will be eliminated.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55It is a simple as that.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Also try and remember, there is to be no conferring

0:02:58 > 0:02:59until we get to the head-to-head round.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Best of luck all four pairs.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Our first category today is...

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Language. Can you all decide in your pairs

0:03:09 > 0:03:12who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

0:03:12 > 0:03:14And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19OK, and the question concerns...

0:03:22 > 0:03:23Proverbs. Richard.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yes, on each board, we're going to show you seven proverbs

0:03:25 > 0:03:27from the Oxford Dictionary Of Proverbs.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29From each of the proverbs, we've missed out a word -

0:03:29 > 0:03:30each of those words begin with B.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Can you tell us what that word is, please?

0:03:32 > 0:03:35There's seven on each board. 14 in all to have a go at at home.

0:03:35 > 0:03:36Very best of luck.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38OK. So, we're looking for the missing word in these proverbs.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40They all begin with B.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Here is our first board of seven, and we've got...

0:04:01 > 0:04:03I'll read those all one last time.

0:04:19 > 0:04:20Phew, got through them.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- Jan, welcome.- Thank you. - Welcome to Pointless.

0:04:22 > 0:04:26- It's lovely to have you here. From Devon?- Yes.- From Devon.

0:04:26 > 0:04:27What do you do down in Devon, Jan?

0:04:27 > 0:04:29I'm retired, obviously, from working,

0:04:29 > 0:04:32and I'm fundamentally a busy granny.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33And, secondly,

0:04:33 > 0:04:37we go off and do, you know, things that retired people do...

0:04:37 > 0:04:40- like visit National Trust properties...- Lovely.

0:04:40 > 0:04:45- So, Jan, proverbs.- Yep.- Proverbs. - Mm-hm.- There they are.

0:04:45 > 0:04:50I think I will go for the 200 Club with the first answer,

0:04:50 > 0:04:51and I'm going to say,

0:04:51 > 0:04:54"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise."

0:04:54 > 0:04:55Bliss at the bottom there. Bliss.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Let's see if bliss is right,

0:04:57 > 0:04:59let's see how many of our 100 people said bliss.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02Look at that, Jan. Absolutely right.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04- Oh, 75.- Yeah.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- APPLAUSE - Great.

0:05:06 > 0:05:0975. Well, you never know, that might be the sort of level

0:05:09 > 0:05:11at which everyone is going to score.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13It might be an excellent score, who knows. Bliss.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16Yeah, it comes from a Thomas Gray poem originally,

0:05:16 > 0:05:19from Ode On A Distant Prospect Of Eton College.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- A Distant Prospect Of Eton College. - Yeah.- Wow.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25I don't think "ignorance is bliss" is the Eton College logo, though.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27I don't think they've got that in Latin.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28Thanks, Richard.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32Bob, welcome. Welcome. Car park attendant.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35- A part-time car park attendant. - Oh, a part-time car park...- Yes.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38- Where's the car park, Bob? - It's in Ipswich at a local college.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40And do they provide a booth?

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Yes, I've got a little hut that I stand in most of the time.

0:05:42 > 0:05:44A booth with a...sort of, Baby Belling window

0:05:44 > 0:05:47- that you can slide across? - Yes, exactly that.- Very nice.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Bob, what do you do when you're not doing that?

0:05:49 > 0:05:54I do a lot of DIY. I'm a bit of the DIY enthusiast.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57What's the most impressive thing you've done yourself?

0:05:57 > 0:05:58Well, I've done most things.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01I've done complete bathroom suites, complete kitchens...

0:06:01 > 0:06:04- That's interesting.- But the piece I like the best is my shed.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09- Ah...- It is phenomenal. It's a palace of a shed.- Oh!

0:06:09 > 0:06:12All right, Bob, what are you going to go for from these proverbs?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Well, I know two or three of them,

0:06:14 > 0:06:18but I'm actually going to go for one that I've never heard before,

0:06:18 > 0:06:21but a bit of lateral thinking tells me that

0:06:21 > 0:06:24the shoemaker's son always goes barefoot.

0:06:24 > 0:06:27Oh... There was me thinking it was blind.

0:06:27 > 0:06:28OK, let's see if that's right,

0:06:28 > 0:06:31and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said barefoot.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34It's right!

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Well, you passed 75 a while back.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41- APPLAUSE - Nice new low score.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44That's a great proverb, and one I've never heard before.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47- It's a good one, isn't it? - It is good.- Yeah, very good.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48A good answer, Bob. And it's true.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51They say it about electricians' houses, always badly wired

0:06:51 > 0:06:52and all that kind of stuff, don't they?

0:06:52 > 0:06:55Or a doctor's children always just told to shut up and go to bed.

0:06:55 > 0:06:56- Exactly.- Yeah. Good.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58- Dawn.- Hello.- Welcome.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01- And what do you do, Dawn? - I'm a data warehouse developer.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05Yeah, that's what I thought Malcolm said. "A data warehouse."

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Talk me through the data warehouse.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09So, it's kind of a IT nerdy type job where...

0:07:09 > 0:07:12- OK, what are your hobbies, Dawn? - LAUGHTER

0:07:12 > 0:07:15So, I enjoy going to see bands, and I'm really into my films,

0:07:15 > 0:07:19and I also like ex...running and fitness,

0:07:19 > 0:07:21and I recently completed a 10k.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Congratulations. Where did you do it?- In Birmingham.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27- Lots of training before?- Yes.- Yeah.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31- Had you done many 10ks before? - No. This was my second one.

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Wow. And will you do that again?

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Or can you now tick that off and forget all about it?

0:07:35 > 0:07:37No, I'm probably going to do the triathlon next year.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Good for you. Good for you.

0:07:39 > 0:07:40Dawn, proverbs.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44- What would you like to go for? - I'm going to go for...

0:07:44 > 0:07:47If you want something done, ask a busy person.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50If you want something done, ask a busy person, says Dawn.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Let's see that's right, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

0:07:54 > 0:07:55It is right.

0:07:55 > 0:07:5775 is our high score, 31, our low.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Oh, we have a new low!

0:08:00 > 0:08:03APPLAUSE

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Ask a busy person. 20.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Very well played, Dawn. Very true as well, isn't it?

0:08:08 > 0:08:09Actually is true.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Someone who is always on the go will always get something done

0:08:11 > 0:08:13quicker than someone who is not.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14OK, thank you very much indeed.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Now, then, Poppy. Welcome back, welcome back.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19It was Round One last time, I think, wasn't it?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21I know. Not a glorious exit, but...

0:08:21 > 0:08:24I can't remember what the category was. What was it?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26- It was US, Australian and Canadian...- Oh, the states.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29- And we had Newfoundland and you left out the Labrador.- Yeah.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Never leave out the Labrador. - No.- Never.

0:08:31 > 0:08:35- Well, sometimes you should. - Well, if it's "no dogs", yeah.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38So, Poppy, this board is all yours, by the way.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40You just talk us through everything

0:08:40 > 0:08:42and then select the one you want to go with.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Well, I was really excited when it came up,

0:08:44 > 0:08:46because I knew busy and barefoot,

0:08:46 > 0:08:47which I assumed would be the low answers,

0:08:47 > 0:08:48so I was like, "Yes!"

0:08:48 > 0:08:53But going last on the...round means that I've got the obvious ones left.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55So, there's... Beggars can't be choosers.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58There's... A bad workman blames his tools.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Business before pleasure.

0:09:00 > 0:09:05And unfortunately, I don't know the "..men lived before Agamemnon".

0:09:05 > 0:09:08So I need to think which is probably the least-known out of...

0:09:08 > 0:09:10- Mm...- ..those three.

0:09:10 > 0:09:11I'm going to go for...

0:09:13 > 0:09:14A bad workman blames his tools.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Blames, says Poppy.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said blames.

0:09:22 > 0:09:23Well, it's right.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24- 75 was our high...- Oh!

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- Oh, no.- 83 is our new high. - APPLAUSE

0:09:28 > 0:09:31Don't worry. Look, Osman, once again, don't worry, don't worry.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33There's another pass to go,

0:09:33 > 0:09:36and I think Osman is going to be absolutely all over that.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38But 83 is what you score for blames.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Yeah, a bad workman blames his tools.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Now, let's fill in the ones that we know for definite.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Beggars can't be choosers is a very big scorer.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48Would have scored you 92 points - would've been even worse.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51And business before pleasure, actually, you should have gone for,

0:09:51 > 0:09:52cos it didn't score that many.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55- It scores 42.- Oo!

0:09:55 > 0:09:57- And this last one - do you know this last one?- Brave.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Brave men lived before Agamemnon.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02And it's simply saying there were heroes before Agamemnon,

0:10:02 > 0:10:04he was just the first one to be chronicled.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06He was the first one to be written about, but...

0:10:06 > 0:10:08You know, so it's about unsung heroes.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10- 14 points for that. - Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Right, we're halfway through the round.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Let's take a look at our scores.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15Well, 20, Dawn. 20.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17What about that?

0:10:17 > 0:10:18Best score of the pass.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21Dawn and Malcolm looking pretty good at this point.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22Then up to 31, where we find Bob and Kevin.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Up to 75, Jan and Mike.

0:10:25 > 0:10:26Not the high scorers, as it turns out,

0:10:26 > 0:10:31because Poppy and Osman currently hold that privilege.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33- Osman, you know what you have to do. - Yeah.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36But you'll have the pick of the board. It'll be all yours.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37We're going to come back down the line now.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:10:42 > 0:10:45OK, we're going to put seven more proverbs up on the board,

0:10:45 > 0:10:46and here they come.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06This is so hard to read, because, obviously,

0:11:06 > 0:11:08- blank begins with a B as well. - LAUGHTER

0:11:22 > 0:11:25Osman, that's exactly what you wanted, though, wasn't it?

0:11:25 > 0:11:28It was, it was, but then...

0:11:28 > 0:11:30I'm not too sure about quite a few of them.

0:11:30 > 0:11:35What a gallimaufry of proverbs there.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36Yeah. The only one...

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Well, I'm sure of a few, but the one I'm going to go for is...

0:11:39 > 0:11:41Where there's muck, there's brass.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44Where there's muck, there's brass, says Osman.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46There's no red line for you because you are the highest scorers.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Let's see if brass is right,

0:11:48 > 0:11:50and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54It is right.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Well done, Osman.

0:11:57 > 0:12:00APPLAUSE

0:12:00 > 0:12:02Could easily have kept yourself in the game there.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04137 is your total.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Yeah, well played, Osman.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09I can't believe there's not "where there's blame, there's a claim".

0:12:10 > 0:12:12- That would be a very good one to have.- It would be good.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15Where there's blank, there's a claim.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18I'd have definitely said that when I was reading it out, I think, yeah.

0:12:18 > 0:12:19Thank you, Richard.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23Now, Malcolm. Malcolm, welcome.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26- From the IT warehouse.- Indeed.- Yes.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29What are your interests aside from IT?

0:12:30 > 0:12:33Again, I like doing a lot of DIY.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Built things from treehouses to children's beds

0:12:36 > 0:12:39- to log reindeers last Christmas. - Yeah, stop there!

0:12:39 > 0:12:42Log reindeers? Wow.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45Just for life or for Christmas?

0:12:45 > 0:12:49I was commissioned by my partner, and then ended up making ten.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Wow.- Raffling a few.- So talk me through the log reindeer.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54So, obviously, a nice bit of rough bark over the top.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57- What are the haunches? - Just a couple of logs.

0:12:57 > 0:12:58One for the body, one for the head,

0:12:58 > 0:13:01branches for the neck, legs and antlers.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04- You really did it yourself, didn't you?- Oh, yeah.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06So what made the antlers? Just some sticks?

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- Yeah, especially-selected branches of the right shape.- OK, that's good.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12- And they complemented one another... - Oh, yeah.- ..so that's good.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Made some that lit up as well.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Oh, now you're talking. This is getting very exciting.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20OK, now, Malcolm, the best news I can tell you

0:13:20 > 0:13:21is that you are already through

0:13:21 > 0:13:24thanks to Dawn's exquisite answering in the first pass.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27Even if you score 100, which I'm sure you won't.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Well, there are a couple of obvious ones left...

0:13:30 > 0:13:33..but given our position, I'd like to take a punt

0:13:33 > 0:13:36on one of two that I've got an inkling about.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40So I'd like to go... When the gorse is out of bloom...

0:13:40 > 0:13:42When the gorse is out of bloom... Surely. Let's see.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Is it right? How many people said it?

0:13:44 > 0:13:47No red line for you for the lovely reason you are already through.

0:13:48 > 0:13:49It is right.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57APPLAUSE

0:13:57 > 0:13:58You and Dawn have had the two

0:13:58 > 0:14:00lowest scores of the round so far.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03- 41, your total. - Very well played, Malcolm.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Also, of course... Where there's bloom, there's a cloom.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09- That's another... Is another one. - Oh, yes, a cloom.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12You've got to... Oh, got to look out for clooms, haven't you?

0:14:12 > 0:14:13And the idea with that one, of course,

0:14:13 > 0:14:16is that gorse is never out of bloom.

0:14:16 > 0:14:17Kissing's never out of fashion.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20Thank you, Richard. Thank you.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Now, Kevin, welcome.- Hi.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24Warm welcome to the show. Kevin, what do you do?

0:14:24 > 0:14:28So, I work in outside catering for an independent company

0:14:28 > 0:14:29based in Ipswich.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32- OK, so, weddings and things like that?- Absolutely, yes.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36And conferences? Or do you do corporate events...at race meetings?

0:14:36 > 0:14:38- We sure do, yes.- Oh, that's fun.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42We incorporate everything that needs catering.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Now, Kevin, you're on 31.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46You are also through to the next round.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48What are you going to go for?

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Wonderful. So, yeah, a couple of obvious ones there.

0:14:53 > 0:14:58I'm not too sure about "truth makes the devil...",

0:14:58 > 0:15:03so I think I'm going to go for... A bully is always a coward.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04That's a bit of a punt?

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- I've never heard of that saying, but it sounds about right.- Nor have I.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10It sounds perfect. Taking a leaf out of your dad's book there.

0:15:10 > 0:15:11OK, let's see if...

0:15:11 > 0:15:13A bully is always a coward - is that right?

0:15:13 > 0:15:15No red line for you - you're also already through.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19It's absolutely right.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26- APPLAUSE - Our new low score.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Very well done indeed, Kevin.

0:15:28 > 0:15:2946, your total.

0:15:29 > 0:15:30Well played, Kevin.

0:15:30 > 0:15:33Great performances from you and your dad there on podium two.

0:15:33 > 0:15:36- And another very true proverb. - Yes.- Very true.- Yes.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39So true, Mike. What do you do?

0:15:39 > 0:15:42I'm retired, and I do a fair bit of sport -

0:15:42 > 0:15:44tennis, cycling,

0:15:44 > 0:15:45try and get to the gym a couple of times a week.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Now, this is the sort of thing people say

0:15:47 > 0:15:49they're going to do with their retirement,

0:15:49 > 0:15:52- and you've done it.- Yes.- You do it. - Yes, I do.- How extraordinary.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Now, how do you and Jan know each other?

0:15:54 > 0:15:57We met many years ago at university, and we both did the same course.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00That's lovely. And you've just been friends all the time since?

0:16:00 > 0:16:02- Yeah, Jan's married to my best friend.- Oh, wonderful.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05- So you match-made them? - I did indeed, yes.- How fantastic.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08What did you do, by the way, before you were retired, Mike?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10I got paid to visit pubs.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12- Oh... - JAN LAUGHS

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Oh, dear. Oh, dear, that's a shame.

0:16:14 > 0:16:18What, just to make sure they were pouring the beers properly?

0:16:18 > 0:16:22No, I was an area business manager for a pub leasing company, so...

0:16:22 > 0:16:24I had to visit the pubs to see that all was well.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27And how many pubs were in your bailiwick?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30- I probably had about 3,000 in my time overall...- That's enough(!)

0:16:30 > 0:16:32..but my last job was about 55 odd.

0:16:32 > 0:16:37How fantastic. That's 55 places guaranteed a free pint. Amazing.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39But you don't drink and work at the same time, I'm afraid to say.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42- Oh, no, I mean, after... - See, I told you.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45I'm always saying, don't drink and work at the same time.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Do you listen? LAUGHTER

0:16:47 > 0:16:50Mike, yeah, 61 or less is what we need from you.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Right, well there's a couple of obvious ones up there.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56You can talk us through the whole board, if you like.

0:16:56 > 0:16:57Just fill in all the ones you can.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59OK, well... Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Too many cooks spoil the broth.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04I don't know the one above it - something is the soul wit.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08It's a difficult dilemma, whether I go for an obvious one

0:17:08 > 0:17:11- and hope it scores less than... 63, is it?- 61.- 61.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13- Oh, it's getting less. - Or go for...

0:17:13 > 0:17:15I'm going to take a punt

0:17:15 > 0:17:17and go for... Truth makes the devil blush.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Truth makes the devil blush. OK, let's see if that's right.

0:17:20 > 0:17:21There's your red line.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Get below that red line, Mike, and you are through to Round Two.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27How many of our 100 people said truth makes the devil blush?

0:17:29 > 0:17:32It's absolutely right. Very well done, Mike.

0:17:32 > 0:17:33And it sees you into Round Two.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38- APPLAUSE - Well done.

0:17:38 > 0:17:3999 is your total.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43A risk worth taking, cos both those others that you knew

0:17:43 > 0:17:46would've seen you knocked out, Mike, so very well played.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49Don't put all your eggs in one basket...

0:17:49 > 0:17:52would've scored you 95.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Too many cooks spoil the broth, of course.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Too many points as well - 78 points.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59And the last one would've seen you through, actually, which is...

0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Brevity. - Brevity is the soul of wit.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04- Well, let's say no more about that. - Very good.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06And that wit, of course, in that context,

0:18:06 > 0:18:08- means wisdom rather than humour. - Yeah.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Brevity being the soul of wisdom.

0:18:11 > 0:18:12Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15So, at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home...

0:18:15 > 0:18:17I can't bear this. I'm not sure I can even get this...

0:18:17 > 0:18:21- Oh, I can't bear it.- ..get this out, without...my voice breaking.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23LAUGHTER

0:18:23 > 0:18:25The pair who are heading home with their high score of 137,

0:18:25 > 0:18:27it's Osman and Poppy.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30- It was Round One last time... - It was Round One again.

0:18:30 > 0:18:31It's Round One again.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35I was sure Pointless was going to keep you till the end of the game,

0:18:35 > 0:18:38but...I'm afraid this is where we have to say goodbye.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40It's been great having you on the show. Thanks so much.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Osman and Poppy. - Thank you.- Thank you.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44- Great contestants. - APPLAUSE

0:18:44 > 0:18:46But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:18:52 > 0:18:53And then there were three pairs.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57And obviously, at the end of this round, there will be only two pairs.

0:18:57 > 0:18:58Well, Kevin, well done to you.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Bully, the lowest individual score of the round.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Well done to Malcolm and Dawn for the lowest joint score of the round.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07And well done to Mike and Jan for making it through

0:19:07 > 0:19:09despite the high score of bliss.

0:19:09 > 0:19:11So, there we are. Best of luck to all three pairs.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Our category for Round Two today is...

0:19:16 > 0:19:18It's tennis. Can you all decide in your pairs

0:19:18 > 0:19:21who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

0:19:21 > 0:19:23And, whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28OK. Let's find out what the question is.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Here it comes.

0:19:30 > 0:19:35We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

0:19:40 > 0:19:44Wimbledon semifinalists between 2000 and 2009. Richard.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Yeah, we're looking for anyone who appeared

0:19:46 > 0:19:48in the women's and men's singles semifinals

0:19:48 > 0:19:51between 2000 and 2009, please.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53Thank you very much indeed.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56So...Mike. Tennis.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58I mean, an active man like you,

0:19:58 > 0:20:01- I imagine you follow Wimbledon quite closely, don't you, Mike?- I do.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03I've been lucky enough to have been quite a few times as well.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06- How far did you get?- The car park.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08- Oh, I see. - LAUGHTER

0:20:08 > 0:20:09OK. Now...

0:20:09 > 0:20:12What are you going to go for?

0:20:12 > 0:20:13I'm going to say Kim Clijsters.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Kim Clijsters, says Mike. Kim Clijsters.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Let's see how many of our 100 people said Kim Clijsters.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29Oh, that's a good answer.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30Look at that. Down to 1!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33APPLAUSE

0:20:33 > 0:20:36What a start to the round. Very well done indeed, Mike.

0:20:36 > 0:20:37Well played again, Mike.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Yeah, a semi-finalist in 2003 and 2006,

0:20:40 > 0:20:42the Belgian, Kim Clijsters.

0:20:42 > 0:20:43Thank you, Richard.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Kevin. Kevin...- OK.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Tennis is not a real strong subject of mine,

0:20:49 > 0:20:52but I think I'm going to say...

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Serena Williams.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Serena Williams, says Kevin. Let's see if that's right,

0:20:56 > 0:20:59and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said it.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04It is right. Well, 1 was our low.

0:21:04 > 0:21:05We might say....

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Serena, 35.

0:21:07 > 0:21:08There we are.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11APPLAUSE

0:21:11 > 0:21:15Yes, did it six times in that decade, Serena Williams.

0:21:15 > 0:21:16Thank you, Richard.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Dawn. Dawn.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22I'm going to say Novak Djokovic.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Novak Djokovic, says Dawn.

0:21:24 > 0:21:25Let's see if that's right,

0:21:25 > 0:21:27let's see how many of our 100 said Novak Djokovic.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36Not bad. 24.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38- APPLAUSE - 24 for Djokovic.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Well played, Dawn. Yeah, funnily enough, only once in that decade.

0:21:42 > 0:21:462007, Djokovic reached the Wimbledon semifinals.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Thanks, Richard. Well, we're halfway through the round.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50Let's take a look at those scores. 1, Mike.

0:21:50 > 0:21:54Mike and Jan, in pole position at this stage of the round.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Then we travel up to 24, quite a distance,

0:21:56 > 0:21:57where we find Dawn and Malcolm,

0:21:57 > 0:21:59then up to 35, Kevin and Bob.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02Happily, though, we have Bob on hand.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04- BOB LAUGHS - Bob, I'm sure...

0:22:04 > 0:22:07You've got a little bit of time now, think of some genius answer.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Let's hope that's enough to keep you in the game.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11We're going to come back down the line now.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:22:16 > 0:22:18OK. Now, Malcolm, remember, we are looking for anyone

0:22:18 > 0:22:21who reached a Wimbledon semi-final

0:22:21 > 0:22:24in the first nine years of the millennium.

0:22:24 > 0:22:25What are you going to go for?

0:22:25 > 0:22:27I do believe it was in these years,

0:22:27 > 0:22:29and I do believe it's as far as he ever got,

0:22:29 > 0:22:31so I'd like to go for Tim Henman.

0:22:32 > 0:22:33Tim Henman.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36OK, let's see how many of our 100 people said Tim.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39You want to be scoring 10 or less with that.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41And that's what it looks like - there's the red line.

0:22:43 > 0:22:44It's right.

0:22:49 > 0:22:50Oh, not bad.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53- 19 for Tim Henman. - APPLAUSE

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Taking your total up to 43.

0:22:55 > 0:22:58Well played, Malcolm. Yeah, just in his timeframe.

0:22:58 > 0:23:002001 and 2002 he was in the semis, you're quite right.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Never got any further at Wimbledon.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04Thanks, Richard.

0:23:04 > 0:23:05Bob.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Bob, you're no longer the high scorers,

0:23:07 > 0:23:11but we need a score of 7 or less from you.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14- That's not going to happen. - LAUGHTER

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Bob, quickly tell me about that shirt.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Do you like it? - Yes, I do, very much.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21It's just a cheap shirt I bought from a market one day.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23- I saw it and I fell in love with it. - That is a great story.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25- But it is my lucky shirt. - LAUGHTER

0:23:25 > 0:23:27- Do you want a twirl?- Not so much.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29LAUGHTER

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Oh, she's sitting on a plane wing.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33I thought it was like a, sort of, boogie board

0:23:33 > 0:23:36that was mysteriously floating, but there we are, you see.

0:23:36 > 0:23:37Bob, what are you going to go for?

0:23:37 > 0:23:41The only decent answer I had, Malcolm's already taken.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44It's not going to be enough, but all I can say,

0:23:44 > 0:23:47taking a leaf from Kevin, is...

0:23:47 > 0:23:49- Venus Williams. - Venus Williams, says Bob.

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Here is your red line.

0:23:50 > 0:23:54It's going to be quite punishingly low, but who knows.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Maybe Venus Williams will get you down there. Let's see.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Oh, 34, I'm afraid, for Venus Williams.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09- APPLAUSE - Takes your total up to 69.

0:24:09 > 0:24:13Yeah, reached the semifinals every year apart from 2004 and 2006.

0:24:13 > 0:24:16Won five titles, as well, in that decade.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17Thank you very much, Richard.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Now then, Jan.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23So, I would say this is a relatively straightforward task.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25You have to score 67 or less.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28How good is your tennis knowledge?

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Your Wimbledon knowledge, more particularly?

0:24:30 > 0:24:31Well, I love watching Wimbledon,

0:24:31 > 0:24:34but all the decades seem to have merged at the moment,

0:24:34 > 0:24:40so I'm nervous that I may hit the wrong decade.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Goran...Ivanosovic.

0:24:43 > 0:24:48OK. So, Goran Ivanosovic you are saying.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50OK, there's your red line, Jan.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Goran Ivanosovic. Let's see if it's right.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00- MIKE SPEAKS INAUDIBLY - Oh, Jan, I'm so sorry.- I'm so sorry.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02101, I'm afraid, is your total. Sorry.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Yeah, Goran Ivanisevic, I'm afraid.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06He's tripped people before, Ivanisevic.

0:25:06 > 0:25:07And funnily enough,

0:25:07 > 0:25:09he beat Tim Henman in that semi-final as well,

0:25:09 > 0:25:11very, very famously in 2001.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14- Would've scored you 1 point as well, Goran Ivanisevic.- Oh, no!

0:25:14 > 0:25:17So would've been a good answer.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20Funnily enough, lots of famous tennis players would've seen you through.

0:25:20 > 0:25:23You'd have got 38 for Roger Federer, Rafa Nadal would've scored you 29.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Lots of people who I know you know.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27Pete Sampras would've scored 9.

0:25:27 > 0:25:28Andy Roddick, Lleyton Hewitt,

0:25:28 > 0:25:31all these people that you know, I know that.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33We'll go through the pointless answers in a moment.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35I know people at home will have tried,

0:25:35 > 0:25:36so I'll go through some of the low ones.

0:25:36 > 0:25:392 points for Justine Henin, Lindsay Davenport, David Nalbandian.

0:25:39 > 0:25:401 point for Capriati,

0:25:40 > 0:25:43Mark Philippoussis and Marcos Baghdatis.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Let's take a look at the pointless answers now, though.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Well done if you got any of these.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Ana Ivanovic, Elena Dementieva.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51you could have had Jelena Dokic, the Australian.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57You could have had Jie Zheng, you could've had Jonas Bjorkman,

0:25:57 > 0:26:00could've had Mario Ancic, the Croat.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02You could have had Pat Rafter, was pointless answer.

0:26:02 > 0:26:03Well done if you said that.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Richard Gasquet. You could've had Sebastien Grosjean.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07A few more pointless answers -

0:26:07 > 0:26:10You could've had Safina, Schuttler, Johansson, Tommy Haas,

0:26:10 > 0:26:12Voltchkov and Xavier Malisse.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Very well done if you said any of those at home.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16Thanks very much, Richard.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home -

0:26:18 > 0:26:21I'm so sorry - with their high score of 101,

0:26:21 > 0:26:22it's Mike and Jan.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24But the good news is, for us, at least,

0:26:24 > 0:26:27is we get to see you again next time. And do you know what?

0:26:27 > 0:26:28On the strength of what you've done today,

0:26:28 > 0:26:31I feel sure you will go a long way in the next show. I hope so anyway.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34Jan and Mike, thank you so much for playing. Great contestants.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37APPLAUSE

0:26:37 > 0:26:39But for Malcolm and Dawn and Kevin and Bob,

0:26:39 > 0:26:41it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Congratulations, Malcolm and Dawn, Kevin and Bob,

0:26:48 > 0:26:50you are now one step closer to the final

0:26:50 > 0:26:51and a chance to play for our jackpot,

0:26:51 > 0:26:55which currently stands at £1,000.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Now, we have to decide who's going to play for that money.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59And we do that, of course, by making you go head-to-head.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01The difference is, you can now play as teams

0:27:01 > 0:27:04and you can confer before you give your answers.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07The first pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10Now, I don't know how, really, to divide you.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12I think it's going to come down to who wants it.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Hands up who wants it.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16- MALCOLM:- Yeah, we want it, don't we? - There we go.

0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh, no, they all...

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Now we're back to square one. They all want it.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21But Malcolm did jazz hands - is that the hand of

0:27:21 > 0:27:24- someone who wants it? - LAUGHTER

0:27:24 > 0:27:26That's the hand of someone who wants to come back

0:27:26 > 0:27:27on the next show so he's on twice.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29That's it. That's exactly what it is.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Whatever it is, best of luck to both pairs.

0:27:31 > 0:27:32Let's play the head-to-head.

0:27:38 > 0:27:42OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

0:27:47 > 0:27:50Solo inductees of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52Much less complicated than it sounds.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54We're simply going to show you five pictures now.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Can you tell us who they are, please?

0:27:56 > 0:27:59OK. So, let's reveal our inductees. Here they come.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21That was harder than you thought it was going to be, isn't it?

0:28:21 > 0:28:23Yeah, it is hard, isn't it? Yeah, that is...

0:28:23 > 0:28:27Yeah, there's five solo inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

0:28:27 > 0:28:30Malcolm and Dawn, because you've been generally splendid

0:28:30 > 0:28:33the whole way through, you get to go first.

0:28:33 > 0:28:34I have no idea.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36- WHISPERS:- I think A is a very young Aretha Franklin.

0:28:36 > 0:28:38Other than that... Erm... Yeah.

0:28:40 > 0:28:43- Was hoping there might be some from our generation.- Yeah.

0:28:43 > 0:28:49Oi, that sounds remarkably like a before-my-time call, doesn't it?

0:28:49 > 0:28:53That did sound a little bit like a before-my-time, Mr Jazz Hands.

0:28:53 > 0:28:54Be careful. You be careful now.

0:28:54 > 0:28:58- Oo... OK, play on. Play on. - RICHARD LAUGHS

0:28:59 > 0:29:00However...

0:29:03 > 0:29:06..we've got an inkling that A is Aretha Franklin.

0:29:06 > 0:29:09OK, A, Aretha Franklin, say Malcolm and Dawn.

0:29:09 > 0:29:11Aretha Franklin.

0:29:11 > 0:29:14Kevin and Bob, talk us through the board.

0:29:14 > 0:29:17OK, so I knew A was Aretha Franklin

0:29:17 > 0:29:21simply because one of my favourite films is The Blues Brothers,

0:29:21 > 0:29:23but the rest, not much of an idea. Dad?

0:29:23 > 0:29:27I think B might be Bobby Darin.

0:29:27 > 0:29:29Erm...

0:29:29 > 0:29:31E, is that... Tammy Wynette?

0:29:31 > 0:29:33Maybe Tammy Wynette.

0:29:33 > 0:29:37And D, I think was probably

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Britain's answer to Donovan.

0:29:40 > 0:29:44Sorry, Britain's answer to Bob Dylan in the '60s - Donovan.

0:29:44 > 0:29:47- So, which one do we go for?- Erm...

0:29:47 > 0:29:50- We'll go for B, Bobby Darin. - You're going to say B, Bobby Darin.

0:29:50 > 0:29:54So, we have A, Aretha Franklin, B, Bobby Darin.

0:29:54 > 0:29:57Now then, Malcolm and Dawn said A was Aretha Franklin.

0:29:57 > 0:29:58Let's find out if that's right,

0:29:58 > 0:30:01and if it is, let's see how many people said Aretha Franklin.

0:30:02 > 0:30:04It's right.

0:30:04 > 0:30:06It is Aretha Franklin.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10It's a good answer. Look at that.

0:30:10 > 0:30:12- Down it goes to 15. Well done. - APPLAUSE

0:30:16 > 0:30:20Meanwhile, Kevin and Bob have said that B is Bobby Darin. Bobby Darin.

0:30:20 > 0:30:21Let's see if that's right,

0:30:21 > 0:30:24and if it is, let's see how many people said Bobby Darin.

0:30:26 > 0:30:27It is right.

0:30:29 > 0:30:30Is it going to go down lower than 15?

0:30:30 > 0:30:32Oh, no, it's not.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35- 31. 31 for Bobby Darin. - APPLAUSE

0:30:35 > 0:30:38So, Aretha Franklin wins it. Well done, Malcolm and Dawn.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40After one question, you're up 1-nil.

0:30:40 > 0:30:43Yeah, there's only one answer that would've beaten Aretha Franklin,

0:30:43 > 0:30:44and that is C.

0:30:44 > 0:30:46It's Etta James.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48She would've scored you 6 points.

0:30:48 > 0:30:51Quite right about Donovan - he is D.

0:30:51 > 0:30:5254 points for Donovan.

0:30:53 > 0:30:55He looks quite cross, doesn't he, Donovan?

0:30:55 > 0:31:00Yeah, because he's not Bob Dylan. He's still Britain's Bob Dylan.

0:31:00 > 0:31:03Also, I'd imagine, that's getting a bit scratchy that.

0:31:03 > 0:31:05- That polar neck there. - Yeah, that's why he's cross...

0:31:05 > 0:31:08- That's going to annoy you.- ..because of that little turtleneck there.

0:31:08 > 0:31:11- He was good, Donovan.- He was good. - Yeah. Well worth checking out.

0:31:11 > 0:31:15And E, the biggest scorer by a mile is, of course, Dusty Springfield.

0:31:15 > 0:31:1781 points.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19There we are. Thank you very much indeed.

0:31:19 > 0:31:21So, here comes your second question.

0:31:21 > 0:31:23Kevin and Bob, you get to answer it first,

0:31:23 > 0:31:25but you have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

0:31:25 > 0:31:26It concerns...

0:31:30 > 0:31:31World Rivers. Richard.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33We're going to show you five anagrams

0:31:33 > 0:31:35of some of the longest rivers in the world.

0:31:35 > 0:31:37Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer?

0:31:37 > 0:31:38Thanks very much indeed.

0:31:38 > 0:31:41Let's reveal our five anagrams, and here they come.

0:31:52 > 0:31:55Kevin and Bob, take a little while to confer,

0:31:55 > 0:31:57and then you will answer first.

0:31:57 > 0:32:00THEY CONFER IN HUSHED VOICES

0:32:00 > 0:32:03And under there is Zambezi.

0:32:03 > 0:32:04So, Congo or Zambezi.

0:32:06 > 0:32:08Zambezi. Shall we go for Zambezi?

0:32:08 > 0:32:12I think we're going to go for Zambezi.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14You're going to go for Zambezi. For which one?

0:32:14 > 0:32:17Certainly. So the second one up from the bottom.

0:32:17 > 0:32:20OK, yes, biz maze. Zambezi.

0:32:20 > 0:32:22Now then, Malcolm and Dawn,

0:32:22 > 0:32:25do you fancy talking us through the rest of the board?

0:32:25 > 0:32:26Do you know what the second one is?

0:32:26 > 0:32:28- No. - THEY LAUGH

0:32:28 > 0:32:30So, I know the first one, which is the Nile.

0:32:30 > 0:32:32The third one is the Congo,

0:32:32 > 0:32:35but we're going to go for the bottom one, which is the Yangtze.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39OK, the Yangtze. The Yangtze, say Malcolm and Dawn.

0:32:39 > 0:32:41So we have Zambezi and we have Yangtze.

0:32:41 > 0:32:43So, in the order they were given,

0:32:43 > 0:32:45Kevin and Bob went for Zambezi.

0:32:45 > 0:32:48Let see how many of our 100 people said Zambezi.

0:32:50 > 0:32:51It's right.

0:32:55 > 0:32:57APPLAUSE

0:32:58 > 0:32:5948 for Zambezi.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02Rather higher than I was expecting, actually, I have to say.

0:33:02 > 0:33:06Malcolm and Dawn meanwhile have gone for the Yangtze, the River Yangtze.

0:33:06 > 0:33:07Let's see if that's right for get zany.

0:33:07 > 0:33:09Let's see how many people said it.

0:33:12 > 0:33:13It is right.

0:33:14 > 0:33:17And it wins you the point and the round.

0:33:17 > 0:33:18Look at that. Down to 21.

0:33:18 > 0:33:20- Very well done indeed. - APPLAUSE

0:33:22 > 0:33:23Which means, after only two questions,

0:33:23 > 0:33:26Malcolm and Dawn are through to the final 2-nil.

0:33:26 > 0:33:29Very well played. I like the fact you called it the River Yangtze,

0:33:29 > 0:33:32cos we're one of the few nations that calls it the River something.

0:33:32 > 0:33:34- Everyone else calls it the Yangtze River.- The Yangtze Kiang.

0:33:34 > 0:33:36And yet, we think we're right.

0:33:36 > 0:33:39- So it's weird that we call it, like, River Thames and whatever.- Yeah.

0:33:39 > 0:33:41Although, the top one, actually...

0:33:41 > 0:33:44- It's the River Nile.- It is. - So there you go.- Look at that.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46- Who makes the rules up, right? - Well, who indeed.

0:33:46 > 0:33:48Would've score you 90 points, that, as well.

0:33:48 > 0:33:50It's a big scorer. Let's go to no cog.

0:33:50 > 0:33:53I think he knew that's the Congo, Congo River.

0:33:54 > 0:33:55Would've scored 78.

0:33:55 > 0:33:58And maize neck is the best answer on the board.

0:33:58 > 0:34:01It's in Canada, it's over 1,000 miles long...

0:34:01 > 0:34:03- Mackenzie.- ..and it's the Mackenzie.

0:34:03 > 0:34:05Would've scored you 1 point, so very well done if you got that.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07Very good. Thank you very much, Richard.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:34:10 > 0:34:12I'm sorry to say, Kevin and Bob.

0:34:12 > 0:34:14Nothing wrong with either of your answers.

0:34:14 > 0:34:17Bobby Darin - I thought that might have won that one actually.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19I thought that was a harder spot than Aretha.

0:34:19 > 0:34:21But great news for us, though - it means we get to see you again.

0:34:21 > 0:34:23Had you gone through to the final,

0:34:23 > 0:34:24that would have been it for Kevin and Bob,

0:34:24 > 0:34:26so we'll look forward to that.

0:34:26 > 0:34:28But in the meantime, thanks very much for playing.

0:34:28 > 0:34:31- Kevin and Bob.- Thank you. - APPLAUSE

0:34:31 > 0:34:34But, for Malcolm and Dawn, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:39 > 0:34:42Well, this is very exciting. Congratulations, Malcolm and Dawn.

0:34:42 > 0:34:43You've fought off all the competition

0:34:43 > 0:34:46and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:34:51 > 0:34:54You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:34:54 > 0:34:58and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £1,000.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02Well, actually very, very impressive.

0:35:02 > 0:35:04Amidst where you take everything else away

0:35:04 > 0:35:06and you look at the cold, hard facts,

0:35:06 > 0:35:08it turns out you were our low scorers in Round One,

0:35:08 > 0:35:10you were our low scorers in Round Two,

0:35:10 > 0:35:13two-nil in the head-to-head, and here you are.

0:35:13 > 0:35:16Deservedly. Served up in the final.

0:35:16 > 0:35:17Very exciting indeed.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20Well, listen, as always, you get to choose your category

0:35:20 > 0:35:22from the four we put up on the board behind me.

0:35:22 > 0:35:25Let's see what we've got in today's selection.

0:35:32 > 0:35:33Shall we go with the year?

0:35:33 > 0:35:37- Well, I don't know. I'm rubbish on fashion and opera.- Opera, no.

0:35:37 > 0:35:38Irish Actors, no.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40Unless they've been in cartoons, I've got no chance.

0:35:40 > 0:35:43- Although, how many Irish actors are there? Not many.- Colin Farrell.

0:35:43 > 0:35:45MALCOLM LAUGHS

0:35:45 > 0:35:47What do you want to do? '88 or Irish Actors?

0:35:47 > 0:35:49- Let's go for the year. I was alive.- OK.

0:35:49 > 0:35:52- The Year 1988, please. - 1988. Richard.

0:35:52 > 0:35:54OK. Very best of luck.

0:35:54 > 0:35:56We're looking for three different questions here.

0:35:56 > 0:36:01Your first one is... Any player who played in the 1988 FA Cup final -

0:36:01 > 0:36:04that was the famous final between Liverpool and Wimbledon -

0:36:04 > 0:36:06including substitutes who came on.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09We're looking for any acts featured on Now That's What I Call Music 12,

0:36:09 > 0:36:14which was the Now What I Call Music from that year, from July 1988.

0:36:14 > 0:36:16Or we are looking for...

0:36:16 > 0:36:19Any state won by George Bush

0:36:19 > 0:36:22in the US presidential election in that year.

0:36:22 > 0:36:25So, Cup final players, Now That's What I Call Music 12

0:36:25 > 0:36:28or states won by Bush in the presidential election.

0:36:28 > 0:36:30Very best of luck.

0:36:30 > 0:36:31Thanks very much indeed.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33Now, as always, you've got up to one minute

0:36:33 > 0:36:35to come up with three answers

0:36:35 > 0:36:36and all you need to win that jackpot

0:36:36 > 0:36:39is just for one of those answers to be pointless.

0:36:39 > 0:36:40Are you ready?

0:36:41 > 0:36:44- Yeah.- OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

0:36:44 > 0:36:46There they are. Your time starts now.

0:36:46 > 0:36:50Acts on Now What I Call Music - you could have Spagna.

0:36:50 > 0:36:52Well, you reckon that was that year though?

0:36:52 > 0:36:54Yeah, cos it's '80s, isn't it? Do you reckon it was '88?

0:36:54 > 0:36:58- Yeah, but she only had one hit.- So? - Yeah, but it's got to be that year.

0:36:59 > 0:37:02- It's a bit specific even if it was.- A-ha?- Yeah, but...- Bananarama?

0:37:02 > 0:37:05Cup final - Lawrie Sanchez, Dave Beasant.

0:37:05 > 0:37:07- I don't know.- Wimbledon players.

0:37:07 > 0:37:09I think you're more likely to get a couple of the Wimbledon ones.

0:37:09 > 0:37:12- OK...- Lawrie Sanchez saved the penalty from...John Aldridge?

0:37:12 > 0:37:14What about Bush, though?

0:37:14 > 0:37:16You could randomly guess a few...

0:37:16 > 0:37:20Yeah, some of the little ones like Maine, Vermont...

0:37:20 > 0:37:22I don't know if he won them,

0:37:22 > 0:37:25- but the chance of other people thinking of them...- Yeah, OK.

0:37:25 > 0:37:26What do you want to do there?

0:37:26 > 0:37:28Do you want to do Delaware...for the state?

0:37:28 > 0:37:30I was thinking Vermont is probably more random.

0:37:30 > 0:37:33- Is that Canada or...? - Is it? No, it's right next to Maine.

0:37:33 > 0:37:36- Oh, is it.- Just on the East Coast. - OK.- Ten seconds left.

0:37:36 > 0:37:37Lawrie Sanchez and Beasant.

0:37:37 > 0:37:39- OK, do that then.- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:37:39 > 0:37:40OK. Yeah, we're ready.

0:37:40 > 0:37:44OK... Like that, with a few seconds just to...

0:37:44 > 0:37:47Ah, we just enjoyed those... Free time there.

0:37:47 > 0:37:50OK. Now, I need your three answers. What are you going to give me?

0:37:50 > 0:37:51- FA Cup players.- Yeah.

0:37:51 > 0:37:53- Lawrie Sanchez... - Lawrie Sanchez...

0:37:53 > 0:37:54- Dave Beasant.- Dave Beasant.

0:37:56 > 0:37:58And then states...

0:37:58 > 0:38:00Do you want to go for yours or do you want to go for mine?

0:38:01 > 0:38:03- Yours.- You'll kill me. We'll go for Vermont.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05Vermont. OK, Vermont.

0:38:05 > 0:38:09Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:09 > 0:38:12- I think Lawrie Sanchez. - Lawrie Sanchez we put last.

0:38:12 > 0:38:14Least likely to be pointless?

0:38:14 > 0:38:15- Vermont.- Vermont.- Vermont.

0:38:15 > 0:38:18OK, well, let's pop those up on the board in that order then.

0:38:18 > 0:38:19And here they are.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22We have got...

0:38:26 > 0:38:27Very best of luck.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Your first answer, the one you thought was probably

0:38:29 > 0:38:33the least likely to be pointless was Vermont.

0:38:33 > 0:38:35We were looking for states won by Bush

0:38:35 > 0:38:38in the US presidential election in that year.

0:38:38 > 0:38:42Now, let's just say one of these answers turns out to be pointless,

0:38:42 > 0:38:44what would you do with your jackpot?

0:38:44 > 0:38:46Your share of the jackpot, Malcolm?

0:38:46 > 0:38:49- HE SIGHS - Not sure it will get me to Bermuda.

0:38:50 > 0:38:52You could get halfway there and then hitch.

0:38:52 > 0:38:53- You could get Bermuda shorts.- Swim.

0:38:53 > 0:38:56- We're going to do a triathlon. - Not bad. Not bad.

0:38:57 > 0:39:00Yeah, I think it will be a holiday.

0:39:00 > 0:39:03- I'm thinking of running away to Gretna at some point.- Excellent.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05Dawn, how about you?

0:39:05 > 0:39:07I probably... If I'm going to do the triathlon next year,

0:39:07 > 0:39:10it'll be a new triathlon bike.

0:39:10 > 0:39:12Excellent. Well, very, very best of luck. Let's find out.

0:39:12 > 0:39:16Vermont, as I say, we are looking for states won by President Bush

0:39:16 > 0:39:18in the '88 presidential election.

0:39:18 > 0:39:21OK, let's find out. If this is pointless, it'll win you £1,000.

0:39:21 > 0:39:23How many of our 100 people said Vermont?

0:39:26 > 0:39:27It's right.

0:39:29 > 0:39:30All it has to do now is go down to 0

0:39:30 > 0:39:32and you can leave here with 1,000 quid.

0:39:32 > 0:39:34Down it goes through the 20s

0:39:34 > 0:39:35into the teens, into single figures.

0:39:35 > 0:39:37Still going down, down it goes.

0:39:37 > 0:39:40- Still going down... Oh!- As if!

0:39:40 > 0:39:42APPLAUSE

0:39:45 > 0:39:48Oh... Good guess.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50Good guess. Vermont.

0:39:50 > 0:39:53Brilliant score. Sadly, not pointless, though.

0:39:53 > 0:39:56So you have two more shots at today's jackpot.

0:39:56 > 0:39:58Your second answer was Dave Beasant.

0:39:58 > 0:40:02We were looking for FA Cup final players in 1988.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04Let's see if Dave Beasant is right,

0:40:04 > 0:40:05let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08For £1,000, is it pointless? Dave Beasant.

0:40:11 > 0:40:12It's right.

0:40:13 > 0:40:15Your first answer, Vermont, was right

0:40:15 > 0:40:17and that took us all the way down to 1.

0:40:17 > 0:40:20Dave Beasant now taking us down through the teens,

0:40:20 > 0:40:22through the single figures. Still going down...

0:40:22 > 0:40:26- Oh, 5.- Oo! - APPLAUSE

0:40:29 > 0:40:32Yeah, he was just holding a place there. Holding a place.

0:40:32 > 0:40:34Everything is now riding on your most confident answer.

0:40:34 > 0:40:37The answer you had no hesitation putting last.

0:40:37 > 0:40:42In this case, we were looking for FA Cup final players in 1988.

0:40:42 > 0:40:44You went for Lawrie Sanchez.

0:40:44 > 0:40:48If it's right and if it's pointless, you will leave here with £1,000.

0:40:48 > 0:40:51Let's see how many of our 100 people said Lawrie Sanchez.

0:40:54 > 0:40:55It's right.

0:40:55 > 0:40:57So, your first answer was Vermont

0:40:57 > 0:40:58and that took us down to 1.

0:40:58 > 0:41:00Your second answer was Dave Beasant.

0:41:00 > 0:41:02That took us down to 5.

0:41:02 > 0:41:03Lawrie Sanchez now taking us

0:41:03 > 0:41:05through the single figures.

0:41:05 > 0:41:07Down he goes... Oh, no. Bad luck.

0:41:07 > 0:41:09APPLAUSE

0:41:09 > 0:41:12- We did sort of good though. - Down to 4.

0:41:14 > 0:41:16Oh, listen, three very good answers there.

0:41:16 > 0:41:18I'm afraid, though, you didn't manage to find

0:41:18 > 0:41:20that all-important pointless answer,

0:41:20 > 0:41:22so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £1,000.

0:41:22 > 0:41:24That will roll over onto the next show.

0:41:24 > 0:41:26But what a performance the whole way through!

0:41:26 > 0:41:29You have been... It was an exemplary Pointless turn, that.

0:41:29 > 0:41:32And you both get a Pointless trophy to take home for all your trouble,

0:41:32 > 0:41:33so very, very well done indeed.

0:41:33 > 0:41:37APPLAUSE

0:41:39 > 0:41:42Yeah, well played to you both. Pleasure to meet you both as well.

0:41:42 > 0:41:45Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

0:41:45 > 0:41:47There'll be answers you know on all of these, I can assure you.

0:41:47 > 0:41:50The first one was the Cup final players.

0:41:50 > 0:41:53Alan Cork, the Wimbledon striker, Peter Beardsley, a pointless answer,

0:41:53 > 0:41:55Ray Houghton, Terry Phelan.

0:41:55 > 0:41:57You also could've had Andy Thorn, Clive Goodyear.

0:41:57 > 0:41:59Craig Johnston was a pointless answer.

0:41:59 > 0:42:02Eric Young, Gary Gillespie, John Scales, Laurie Cunningham,

0:42:02 > 0:42:04Nigel Spackman and Terry Gibson - all of those pointless answers.

0:42:04 > 0:42:06Well done if you said one of those.

0:42:06 > 0:42:10Now for those Now That's What I Call Music acts.

0:42:10 > 0:42:12Glenn Medeiros - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You,

0:42:12 > 0:42:16Natalie Cole - Pink Cadillac, Sabrina - Boys, The Communards.

0:42:16 > 0:42:17You also could've had Iron Maiden,

0:42:17 > 0:42:19you could've had Johnny Hates Jazz,

0:42:19 > 0:42:22Morrisey, Salt-N-Pepa, Voice of the Beehive.

0:42:22 > 0:42:24Let's take a look at the states that Bush won.

0:42:24 > 0:42:26He actually won 40 states in that election,

0:42:26 > 0:42:28which is pretty good going.

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Only five of them were pointless, though.

0:42:30 > 0:42:35Michigan, Montana, Oklahoma, Wyoming and New Mexico.

0:42:35 > 0:42:37Very well done if you said any of those at home.

0:42:37 > 0:42:38Thanks for much indeed, Richard.

0:42:38 > 0:42:41So, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Malcolm and Dawn,

0:42:41 > 0:42:43but it's been wonderful having you on the show.

0:42:43 > 0:42:44Thank you so much for playing.

0:42:44 > 0:42:46Malcolm and Dawn - great contestants.

0:42:46 > 0:42:48- Thank you. - APPLAUSE

0:42:49 > 0:42:52Well, sadly, Malcolm and Dawn didn't win our jackpot today,

0:42:52 > 0:42:54which means it rolls over onto the next show,

0:42:54 > 0:42:58when we will be playing for £2,000.

0:43:00 > 0:43:01Join us then to see if someone can win it.

0:43:01 > 0:43:04- Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.- Goodbye.

0:43:04 > 0:43:06And it is goodbye from me. Goodbye.