Episode 50

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0:00:21 > 0:00:23APPLAUSE

0:00:25 > 0:00:29Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless

0:00:29 > 0:00:35where the obvious answers mean nothing and the obscure answers mean everything. Let's meet the players.

0:00:38 > 0:00:43First, we welcome Stu and Craig. How do you two know each other?

0:00:43 > 0:00:48Well, we're both maths teachers and we work in the same school together.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52Everyone will be watching. This is the thing about being teachers.

0:00:52 > 0:00:57- Yeah.- Between you, how many children do you teach?

0:00:57 > 0:01:02We've got five classes and it's up to 30 in a class, so there's probably about 140 each.

0:01:02 > 0:01:09There are thousands - my maths isn't very good - thousands of children watching you, cheering you on.

0:01:09 > 0:01:14I have a foolproof way of working out who's the best maths teacher.

0:01:14 > 0:01:19- Eight times seven?- 56.- Boom! There we go, we have a winner.

0:01:19 > 0:01:23That's the hardest sum I know.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27- Craig, what are you hoping might come up?- Some road-related stuff.

0:01:27 > 0:01:32- Road?- Yeah. I've driven every A-road with two digits in Scotland.

0:01:32 > 0:01:37That's 68 up to 99, just for the sake of it. I like visiting motorway service stations.

0:01:37 > 0:01:41- You do know you've just said that in front of all of your kids?- Yeah.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Wow!

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Best of luck to the pair of you. It's great having you on the show.

0:01:47 > 0:01:52Next, we welcome Miriam and Sallyanne. How do you two know each other?

0:01:52 > 0:01:54I met Sallyanne when I was eight.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58I came home from church. I was greeted at the door by Mummy

0:01:58 > 0:02:01who said, "Brunch is ready and this is your baby sister."

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Aw!

0:02:03 > 0:02:08- What about that?- Isn't that nice? - Isn't that nice?

0:02:08 > 0:02:11- What did you have for brunch?- Fun. LAUGHTER

0:02:12 > 0:02:17- Miriam, what do you do?- I'm actually a recipe tester and a product tester.

0:02:17 > 0:02:23They send you great big products and when you've tested it, you keep what's left, which is rather nice.

0:02:23 > 0:02:30- But maybe not always. You can't choose the products.- I've only had one product that wasn't very nice.

0:02:30 > 0:02:36- Grouting or something? What was it? - No, it was a face thing, so I gave it to a friend.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39LAUGHTER She's not a friend any more!

0:02:39 > 0:02:44- Sallyanne, what are your hobbies? - I like riding my motorbike.- Wow!

0:02:44 > 0:02:51- What is it?- It's a BMW F650CS called Brenda.

0:02:52 > 0:02:58- Christened by you?- Yes... No, she told me what her name was.

0:02:58 > 0:02:59Miriam...

0:02:59 > 0:03:05Listen, very best of luck to the pair of you. It's great to have you on the show.

0:03:05 > 0:03:11Next, we welcome back John and Simon. Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

0:03:11 > 0:03:16- Remind us what happened. - We fell foul of the fictional sleuths category.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20- Not a great success. - And we got to join the 200 Club.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23- There's no shame in joining... - APPLAUSE

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yes, quite right.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28There is no shame in being a member of the 200 Club.

0:03:28 > 0:03:33Of course, you're brothers. One of you is currently at Oxford.

0:03:33 > 0:03:39- That's right.- Simon, you're applying to Oxford?- I've got an offer to go there next year.

0:03:39 > 0:03:45- You've got to get your "A" levels? - I've got to get my grades.- How is it looking?- It should be all right.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48- What have they predicted? - Three A's. I need three A's.

0:03:48 > 0:03:52- What are your three "A" levels? - Maths, Physics and Further Maths.

0:03:52 > 0:03:56Maths, more maths and then a bit more maths.

0:03:56 > 0:04:01- Wow!- Yeah.- Stu and Craig, have you got your maths trousers on?

0:04:01 > 0:04:08Listen, John and Simon, very best of luck to you. Let's hope we see a lot more of you this show.

0:04:08 > 0:04:12Finally, we've got Roland and Janice. How do you two know each other?

0:04:12 > 0:04:18I joined the Long Eaton Indoor Bowls Club and that's where Janice was already a member.

0:04:18 > 0:04:23She asked me to join her team and asked me if I'd skip the team.

0:04:23 > 0:04:28After a few weeks, it dawned on her that she was a better player than me.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32- But she's now stuck with you as a skipper?- Yes.- Oh, dear.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35Janice, what do you do when you're not bowling?

0:04:35 > 0:04:41I belong to a walking group and we go for walks on a Monday morning.

0:04:41 > 0:04:45And come back sometimes as late as Friday?

0:04:45 > 0:04:48No, we don't walk very far.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51We end up in the pub.

0:04:51 > 0:04:57- I belong to one of those walking groups.- We have an amble around and end up in the pub.- Monday morning?

0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Yes.- I like the sound of your week.

0:05:00 > 0:05:04- It gets it off to a good start. - Absolutely.

0:05:04 > 0:05:09Very best of luck, Roland and Janice. We'll find out more about all of you during the show.

0:05:09 > 0:05:15There's only one person left to introduce. He has inspired a new generation of celebrities -

0:05:15 > 0:05:19- VOPs, Very Obscure People. He is my pointless friend Richard.- Hiya.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21APPLAUSE

0:05:25 > 0:05:28- Good afternoon to you. - Very good afternoon to you.

0:05:28 > 0:05:33We've only got one returning pair - John and Simon. Last time I thought they would go the whole way,

0:05:33 > 0:05:38then in Round 2, they said the same wrong answer and scored 200 points.

0:05:38 > 0:05:44And Stu and Craig, maths teachers, we might have a math-off later between Simon and Stu and Craig.

0:05:44 > 0:05:49- A math-off? That would be good.- I'm writing a new question as we speak.

0:05:49 > 0:05:55I've crossed out my A-roads of Scotland question. I'm putting in a five-figure prime numbers question.

0:05:55 > 0:06:01I will look forward to that! We put all our questions to 100 people before the show,

0:06:01 > 0:06:04but we are after the obscure answers they didn't get.

0:06:04 > 0:06:08To stay in the game, our players try to score as few points as they can.

0:06:08 > 0:06:14Everyone is trying to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people gave.

0:06:14 > 0:06:20Each time that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot. Nobody won the jackpot last time,

0:06:20 > 0:06:25so we add another £1,000 to that and today's jackpot starts off at £6,250.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Let's play Pointless.

0:06:36 > 0:06:41In Round One, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45The team with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48An incorrect answer will score the maximum of 100 points.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53Do try and avoid those. Our first category this afternoon is...

0:06:54 > 0:06:59Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07Let's find out what the first question is. Here it comes.

0:07:07 > 0:07:14We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many landlocked countries of the world as they could.

0:07:14 > 0:07:19- Richard?- We're looking for any country that has no coastline on any sea or ocean.

0:07:19 > 0:07:24By country, we mean a member of the UN that's a sovereign state in its own right.

0:07:24 > 0:07:30If it's got only an inland sea, we will allow it, but other than that, no sea or ocean coastline.

0:07:30 > 0:07:37OK, Stu and Craig, you all drew lots before the show and this afternoon, you get to go first.

0:07:37 > 0:07:40Stu, landlocked countries of the world...

0:07:40 > 0:07:47I'm trying to think of some of my Eurovision skills here because I do like watching Eurovision.

0:07:47 > 0:07:54They didn't compete in this year's competition, but I think I'm going to go for Andorra.

0:07:54 > 0:07:59Andorra... Miriam, absolutely furious with that!

0:07:59 > 0:08:03- So did I.- Well picked, Stu. Bad luck, Miriam.

0:08:03 > 0:08:08Let's see if Andorra is right and if it is, let's see how many people said Andorra.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Well done.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19It's a great answer, Stu. Well done.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22- It scores you 11. - APPLAUSE

0:08:22 > 0:08:26- Andorra, Richard?- Nestled in the Pyrenees between France and Spain,

0:08:26 > 0:08:31although again you've just revealed to all your pupils that you like Eurovision.

0:08:31 > 0:08:36Now, Miriam... You had Andorra. You were thrilled with Andorra.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Look what it would have scored you - 11!

0:08:42 > 0:08:45I'm going to guess at Vatican City.

0:08:45 > 0:08:51Vatican City. Let's see if it's right and if it is, let's see how many people said Vatican City.

0:08:54 > 0:08:59No, I'm afraid it's an incorrect answer, Miriam, I'm sorry to say.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02You score the maximum of 100 points. Richard?

0:09:02 > 0:09:07Sorry, Miriam, not a UN member in its own right, the Vatican City.

0:09:07 > 0:09:13Now then, John. Here we are. I think this is a great subject for you, isn't it?

0:09:13 > 0:09:17I think I'm going to have a gamble, have a punt, go for it.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Lesotho is what I'm going to say.

0:09:19 > 0:09:25- Lesotho?- Yes.- Let's see if Lesotho is right and if it is, how many people said Lesotho.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30Very well done, John. That gamble has paid off fabulously.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33Let's see if it goes down as far as it deserves to.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Very well done indeed.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37APPLAUSE

0:09:37 > 0:09:392.

0:09:39 > 0:09:42That's the spirit. Richard?

0:09:42 > 0:09:46Well played, John. It's completely surrounded by South Africa, Lesotho.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Thank you. Now then, Janice...

0:09:49 > 0:09:53What is the most obscure landlocked country you can think of?

0:09:53 > 0:10:01Well, I had thought of Lesotho, so I'm going to have to go with my other one - Rwanda.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04You're hoping as few of our 100 people as possible said Rwanda.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08Let's see if it's right and how many people did say it - Rwanda.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11It's right.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Down it goes.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Very well done indeed, Janice.

0:10:18 > 0:10:21- APPLAUSE - That's a spectacular score.

0:10:21 > 0:10:25- 3 for Rwanda.- Another very good answer. Well played, Janice.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29Rwanda is a few degrees south of the Equator in the middle of Africa.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Let's take a look at the scores as they stand.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36John and Simon are looking very strong indeed on 2,

0:10:36 > 0:10:39then up just one to Janice and Roland,

0:10:39 > 0:10:4211, we find Stu and Craig,

0:10:42 > 0:10:47then, I'm afraid, up at 100, we find Miriam and Sallyanne.

0:10:47 > 0:10:53You are quite a long way ahead, but anything could happen in the next pass.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57Can the second players take their places at the podium?

0:10:58 > 0:11:01OK, so we are looking for landlocked countries.

0:11:01 > 0:11:06Landlocked countries of the world. Roland, you are on 3.

0:11:06 > 0:11:13The high scorers are Sallyanne and Miriam on 100. If you score 96 or less, you are in the next round.

0:11:13 > 0:11:17- Well, um... - Are you well-travelled, Roland?

0:11:17 > 0:11:21Well, in Europe. I've been to Africa as well and America.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24I'm torn between two.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26We'll go for Tibet.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29OK, here is your red line, Roland.

0:11:29 > 0:11:35Nice and high, as you see. If Tibet gets you below that red line, you are through to the next round.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39Let's see if Tibet's right and if it is, how many people said Tibet.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Oh, bad luck, Roland.

0:11:42 > 0:11:47Unfortunately, Tibet is an incorrect answer which means you score 100 points.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51- It takes your total up to 103. - Yeah, sorry, Roland.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Tibet is not a member of the UN, I'm afraid.- Right, OK.

0:11:55 > 0:11:59Simon, the high scorers on 103 are Roland and Janice. You are on 2.

0:11:59 > 0:12:04Whatever you score, you are through to the next round. You won't overtake their score.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07What are you going to say?

0:12:07 > 0:12:11Bearing that in mind, I'll go for a bit of a risk. I'll go for Liechtenstein.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many said Liechtenstein.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Very well done. 7.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26APPLAUSE

0:12:26 > 0:12:30It takes your total up to a very smart, single-figure 9. Richard?

0:12:30 > 0:12:35Good answer, Simon. That's a good, low-scoring answer. Very well done.

0:12:35 > 0:12:39Now then, Sallyanne, you've been thrown a massive lifeline by Roland.

0:12:39 > 0:12:44If you can score 2 or less, then you are through to the next round.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48I'm going to really, really take a huge, massive gamble.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51I am going to say...

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Turkmenistan.

0:12:53 > 0:12:57OK... Turkmenistan is what you are saying.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01There is your red line right at the bottom of the column.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Is that the floor?

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Yeah.

0:13:05 > 0:13:12- Let's see if Turkmenistan can get you below that red line. Obviously, it has to be correct.- Yeah!

0:13:12 > 0:13:19But if it is, maybe it will get you down there. Turkmenistan, is it right, how many people said it?

0:13:20 > 0:13:22- It's right.- Oh!

0:13:23 > 0:13:25It's right.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Down it goes, down it goes.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Yes, you've done it!

0:13:29 > 0:13:33SQUEALS OF DELIGHT I've won!

0:13:37 > 0:13:44That is amazing. That scores you one point. It takes your total to 101. You are through to the next round.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48Very well played, Sallyanne. You pulled that out of the bag.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52That's why you mustn't go on a Turkmenistani beach holiday!

0:13:52 > 0:13:54Now then...

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Craig and Stu, you are on 11.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01The high scorers are still Roland and Janice on 103.

0:14:01 > 0:14:05If you score 91 or less, you are through to the next round.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Maths, we know you're good at. What about geography?

0:14:08 > 0:14:11I'm going to plump for the Central African Republic.

0:14:11 > 0:14:17- The Central African Republic. - The name suggests it should be in the middle.

0:14:17 > 0:14:23Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many people said Central African Republic.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25Yes, you are through to the next round.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Oh!

0:14:33 > 0:14:37It scores you 2. It takes your total to 13. Very well done.

0:14:37 > 0:14:42- Richard?- That's about the first time Central African Republic hasn't been pointless.

0:14:42 > 0:14:49All this PR we've been doing for it, suddenly, it's getting a profile. There are some pointless answers.

0:14:49 > 0:14:53Very well done at home if you said Ethiopia is a landlocked country,

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Moldova and Burkina Faso.

0:14:55 > 0:15:01Loads of low scorers - Kazakhstan, Swaziland, Turkmenistan, Burundi. Lots and lots of low scorers.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04Let's take a look at the most popular answers.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14Thank you very much, Richard.

0:15:14 > 0:15:19After Round One, the losing pair with the highest score, Roland and Janice.

0:15:19 > 0:15:24How did you feel when Sallyanne suddenly pulled a oner out of the bag?

0:15:24 > 0:15:26I can't really say.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29- LAUGHTER - Yeah, family show.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33I didn't think anyone would beat Janice's score with 100 on the board,

0:15:33 > 0:15:36so I decided to gamble, rather than go safe.

0:15:36 > 0:15:41- Which all bodes very well for when we next see you. - I hope so.- I hope so very much.

0:15:41 > 0:15:46- Anyway, Roland and Janice, thank you for playing. Brilliant contestants.- Thank you.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52For the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:15:57 > 0:16:03There's only room for two pairs in the head-to-head, so one team will leave us after this round.

0:16:03 > 0:16:07Our category for Round Two is...

0:16:07 > 0:16:10- Oh, no!- Pop Music. Sallyanne thrilled with that!

0:16:10 > 0:16:14Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

0:16:14 > 0:16:18Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:16:20 > 0:16:26OK, so our Round Two question concerns "novelty" songs and their artists.

0:16:26 > 0:16:29Novelty songs and their artists, Richard?

0:16:29 > 0:16:33We'll show you six novelty songs on each pass. We asked 100 people

0:16:33 > 0:16:37to tell us the act which had a UK Top 40 hit with the song.

0:16:37 > 0:16:42An obscure answer will score fewer points. An incorrect answer will score 100 points.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45There's 12 novelty songs in all. Very best of luck.

0:16:45 > 0:16:52Thank you very much, Richard. We are looking for the artists who had a hit with these novelty songs.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55And here they come. Our first six reads like this.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06I'll read all of those again.

0:17:14 > 0:17:21I would now like from you, Craig, the most obscure artist responsible for one of those novelty songs.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25You're looking for the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

0:17:25 > 0:17:29I know five of them. I'm ashamed to say I know five of them!

0:17:31 > 0:17:36I would guess the lowest one will be The Winner's Song which will be Geraldine McQueen.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Geraldine McQueen, The Winner's Song.

0:17:39 > 0:17:44Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said Geraldine McQueen.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48It's right.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Very well done.

0:17:55 > 0:18:00- APPLAUSE - 5 points. 5 for Geraldine McQueen, Richard?

0:18:00 > 0:18:07Well played, Craig. Credited to Geraldine, written by Peter Kay and Gary Barlow.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Sallyanne... You said, "Oh, no," when this category came up.

0:18:11 > 0:18:16- Do you feel any better now you've got a board of songs there?- Not at all.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19No, I don't.

0:18:19 > 0:18:27I'm going to take a stab at My Old Man's A Dustman

0:18:27 > 0:18:29and say Lonnie Donegan.

0:18:29 > 0:18:35Lonnie Donegan and My Old Man's A Dustman. Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37It's right.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Very well done, Sallyanne.

0:18:39 > 0:18:4158, though.

0:18:41 > 0:18:45- APPLAUSE - You got it right.- It's right.

0:18:45 > 0:18:4858 is a high score for that, isn't it?

0:18:48 > 0:18:54Famous song. He was the King of Skiffle, Lonnie Donegan. He played at the Liverpool Empire in 1956.

0:18:54 > 0:18:58Paul McCartney was in the audience, always said he was a big influence.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Thank you very much. John...

0:19:01 > 0:19:07You're last to have this board, so you can take us through all those songs and nominate one at the end.

0:19:07 > 0:19:13I'm in the same position as I was last time. I knew one of the answers - The Winner's Song.

0:19:13 > 0:19:18I've also heard of The Funky Gibbon and I think it may have been The Goodies.

0:19:18 > 0:19:24The Goodies, Funky Gibbon. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28It's right.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Well done, John. That's a great answer - 38.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35APPLAUSE

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Very good indeed.

0:19:37 > 0:19:38Richard?

0:19:38 > 0:19:43Well played, John, a No.4 hit in 1975, written by Bill Oddie.

0:19:43 > 0:19:47- Let's go through the rest of the board. Laughing Gnome?- David Bowie.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Yeah, would've scored you 23.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Achy Breaky Heart? - Billy Ray Cyrus.- Yeah.

0:19:52 > 0:19:57Father of Hannah Montana, would've scored 21. And Who Let The Dogs Out?

0:19:57 > 0:20:04- The something Gang?- No, nearly. It was a hit in 2000 for the Baha Men. It would've scored you 9 points.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Let's take a look at the scores.

0:20:06 > 0:20:11Craig and Stu looking very strong with 5, lovely low score there,

0:20:11 > 0:20:15then up to 38 for John and Simon, then 58 for Sallyanne and Miriam.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18- It's a lot better than 100. - It certainly is.

0:20:18 > 0:20:22Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

0:20:24 > 0:20:28OK, we're going to put six more novelty hits up on the board.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Here they come. We have got...

0:20:41 > 0:20:43I'll read those again.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56We are looking for the artists who had a hit with these novelty songs

0:20:56 > 0:21:00and you want the one that the fewest of our 100 people knew.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04Now, the high scorers are Miriam and Sallyanne on 58.

0:21:04 > 0:21:10Simon and John, you are on 38. If you score 19 or less, you are definitely in the head-to-head.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13I don't think this will score 19 or less.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16- This isn't a great category for me. - It's a tough board.

0:21:16 > 0:21:21I know one which is Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport with Rolf Harris.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25OK, Rolf Harris you're saying. Let's see if that's right.

0:21:25 > 0:21:30There's your red line. That's what 19 looks like.

0:21:30 > 0:21:34Below that, you are definitely in the Head to Head. Rolf Harris.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38It's right. Oh!

0:21:39 > 0:21:43- Better than 100. - That's a high score. 86.

0:21:43 > 0:21:47- Takes your total up to 124. - A huge score.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51A top ten hit in the UK in 1960 and a top ten hit in the States.

0:21:51 > 0:21:57Miriam and Sallyanne are on 58. The high scorers on 124 are Simon and John.

0:21:57 > 0:22:02If you can score 65 or less, Miriam, you are through.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Mm. OK.

0:22:04 > 0:22:10I know the two from It Ain't Half Hot, Mum did Whispering Grass,

0:22:10 > 0:22:16but I have a feeling somebody did it before him. The only one I've got a bit more of a chance of getting,

0:22:16 > 0:22:20I think, is Agadoo,

0:22:20 > 0:22:23which I think was Black Lace.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27Black Lace, Agadoo. Is she right? How many said it?

0:22:27 > 0:22:29It's right.

0:22:29 > 0:22:33- Oh!- And you are through to the next round.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36- 22!- Ooh!

0:22:39 > 0:22:45- 22 takes your total up to 80. Richard?- Well played. A number two hit from 1984.

0:22:45 > 0:22:50It haunted us throughout that year. Voted the worst song of all time by readers of Q.

0:22:50 > 0:22:56Very good indeed. Very well done, Miriam and Sallyanne. You are through.

0:22:56 > 0:23:03Now then, Stu, you are also through to the Head to Head. The writing is on the wall for Simon and John.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07Their high score of 124, you will never overtake it.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11We are looking for the artists who had hits with these novelty songs.

0:23:11 > 0:23:18I'm going to go for I Am A Cider Drinker and I will have a shot at The Wurzels.

0:23:18 > 0:23:25The Wurzels, I Am A Cider Drinker. Let's see if that's right and how many said The Wurzels.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27It's right.

0:23:29 > 0:23:3152. Not a bad score at all, Stu.

0:23:31 > 0:23:35Takes your total up to 57, but you're through anyway.

0:23:35 > 0:23:40- Richard?- Yeah, The Wurzels. It's a really tough board.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43Agadoo is the most recent on it, from 1984.

0:23:43 > 0:23:50You were right, Miriam, about Whispering Grass. It was Don Estelle and Windsor Davies.

0:23:50 > 0:23:54It would have scored 7. Right Said Fred gave its name to a band.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58- It was by...?- Bernard Cribbins!- 17.

0:23:58 > 0:24:04- And What Are We Gonna Get 'Er Indoors?- Not a clue. - There's a clue in the title.

0:24:04 > 0:24:08- Arthur Daley!- George Cole! - George Cole and Dennis Waterman.

0:24:08 > 0:24:15A number 21 hit. And one person - I'm sure you know who you are - remembered that.

0:24:15 > 0:24:21Thanks very much, Richard. So the losing pair with the highest score is John and Simon. Again!

0:24:21 > 0:24:28- What is it with this Round Two? - First round specialists.- Clearly. Very, very strong indeed.

0:24:28 > 0:24:32- What can we say? - I should listen to more Wurzels.

0:24:32 > 0:24:37- I think everyone should. - That is a good rule for life.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41- Stu is president of the Wurzels fan club.- Oh, yeah.

0:24:41 > 0:24:47- Doesn't like to talk about it. - So what have you learnt, Simon and John?

0:24:47 > 0:24:53- I hope you'll take something away. - It's been great fun, even if we weren't great contestants!

0:24:53 > 0:24:59You've been great contestants. We gave you terrible categories. We have to say goodbye to you.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03Best of luck with your A Levels and continue well with your studies.

0:25:03 > 0:25:07Great having you on the show. Thanks very much, Simon and John.

0:25:08 > 0:25:14But for the remaining two pairs it gets more exciting now as we enter the Head to Head.

0:25:21 > 0:25:25Very well done, Stu and Craig, Miriam and Sallyanne. You made it.

0:25:25 > 0:25:33Only one pair can make it through to the final and play for the jackpot, which currently stands at £6,250.

0:25:36 > 0:25:42Now for each question each pair gives me just one answer, but you are now allowed to confer.

0:25:42 > 0:25:47Just come up with an answer that scores less than the other pair.

0:25:47 > 0:25:53The first pair to win two questions will play for today's jackpot. Let's play Pointless.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Here is your first question.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:26:02 > 0:26:09to name as many surnames of US Presidents that end in N as they could. Richard?

0:26:09 > 0:26:13The surname of any US President prior to Barack Obama ending in N.

0:26:13 > 0:26:17If more than one share a surname, we'll only accept it once.

0:26:17 > 0:26:21There are 14 names on this list.

0:26:21 > 0:26:27Thank you. Stu and Craig, you've played best so far, so you get to go first.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Presidents whose names end in N.

0:26:36 > 0:26:42- We're going to go with Johnson. - You're going with Johnson. Miriam and Sallyanne?

0:26:42 > 0:26:47- We'll go with Woodrow Wilson. - Woodrow Wilson.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Let's see. Stu and Craig went with Johnson.

0:26:50 > 0:26:54Let's see if it's right and how many people said Johnson.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56It is right.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04Oh, 18!

0:27:05 > 0:27:0818 for Johnson.

0:27:09 > 0:27:15- Miriam and Sallyanne have gone for Woodrow Wilson. - I don't think it'll be that low.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18Is it right? How many people said Woodrow Wilson?

0:27:19 > 0:27:21It's right.

0:27:21 > 0:27:25Will it go below 18? That's the question.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28It does! Look at that - 7!

0:27:29 > 0:27:377 for Woodrow Wilson, which means after one question Miriam and Sallyanne are up one-nil.

0:27:37 > 0:27:42Woodrow Wilson, good answer. Andrew Johnson and Lyndon B Johnson. 14 answers in all.

0:27:42 > 0:27:48One of them is pointless. Very well done if you said Martin van Buren - a pointless answer.

0:27:48 > 0:27:54James Madison scored 1. Benjamin and William Henry Harrison would have scored 1.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56James Buchanan also scored 1.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00Andrew Jackson on 5, Woodrow Wilson 7,

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Harry S Truman would have scored 10,

0:28:02 > 0:28:06Thomas Jefferson 15, both the Johnsons on 18,

0:28:06 > 0:28:11George Washington 30, Ronald Reagan 33, Bill Clinton 47,

0:28:11 > 0:28:16Abraham Lincoln 48 and Richard Nixon 75. I'm sure somebody at home would have got all 14.

0:28:16 > 0:28:21Thank you very much, Richard. Here is your second question.

0:28:21 > 0:28:24Stu and Craig, you have to win this to stay in the game.

0:28:24 > 0:28:32We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many Scottish national football team managers since 1970

0:28:32 > 0:28:40as they could. Sorry it's not playing more to your strengths, Stu and Craig(!)

0:28:40 > 0:28:44Sorry. They are randomly assigned, these questions. A stroke of luck!

0:28:44 > 0:28:50Anyone who's managed the Scottish national team from 1970 through to May, 2011,

0:28:50 > 0:28:56- including caretaker managers.- OK. Miriam and Sallyanne, you are first.

0:28:56 > 0:29:01Oh, we've got to go first as well?! Oh, lord!

0:29:09 > 0:29:11Are you ready?

0:29:12 > 0:29:16Because we've got a brother who is an Everton fan,

0:29:16 > 0:29:20we think Walter Smith might be a Scotland manager.

0:29:20 > 0:29:24- Walter Smith.- Yeah.

0:29:24 > 0:29:30- Stu and Craig, you can do your conferring out loud. - That's a very good answer.

0:29:30 > 0:29:35- There's Andy Roxburgh.- There's Jock Stein, who died on the job.

0:29:35 > 0:29:39Alex Ferguson was the caretaker in '86.

0:29:39 > 0:29:44- Yeah.- What about...? - Craig Brown, Berti Vogts.

0:29:44 > 0:29:47- Forgot about him. - Ally MacLeod. Ally's Tartan Army.

0:29:47 > 0:29:54- We'll go with Andy Roxburgh. - Andy Roxburgh. OK, we have Walter Smith and Andy Roxburgh.

0:29:54 > 0:29:59Miriam and Sallyanne, Stu and Craig said Walter Smith is a great answer.

0:30:00 > 0:30:05Let's see. Walter Smith - is it right and how many people said it?

0:30:08 > 0:30:09Oh!

0:30:09 > 0:30:11It's right.

0:30:11 > 0:30:16It's still going down. Still going down - 9!

0:30:18 > 0:30:22That's a fantastic answer. Walter Smith!

0:30:22 > 0:30:26- Brilliant.- Thank you, little brother!- Thanks!

0:30:26 > 0:30:32Now then, Stu and Craig, you have to get lower than 9 or we say goodbye to you.

0:30:32 > 0:30:40- Andy Roxburgh.- Not confident. - You're not?- This is as many points as Berti Vogts picked up!

0:30:40 > 0:30:46Andy Roxburgh - is it right and how many people said it? Good luck.

0:30:48 > 0:30:50It is right.

0:30:51 > 0:30:53Can it go lower than 9?

0:30:53 > 0:30:56It can! Look at that!

0:30:56 > 0:31:02Fabulous! That's a pointless answer. It adds £250 to today's jackpot.

0:31:02 > 0:31:06It takes the total up to £6,500.

0:31:06 > 0:31:10It scores you nothing, which means you win that point.

0:31:10 > 0:31:15After two questions, it's one-all. Very well done. Richard?

0:31:15 > 0:31:19Let's look at all the names. There's another pointless answer.

0:31:19 > 0:31:23The man who took Scotland to the 1974 World Cup. Willie Ormond.

0:31:23 > 0:31:30Tommy Docherty and Tommy Burns, both scored 1. Bobby Brown was manager until 1971.

0:31:30 > 0:31:36Beat England 3-2 at Wembley. Berti Vogts on 2 points, Craig Levein on 3.

0:31:36 > 0:31:40George Burley 4, Jock Stein 5, Craig Brown 5, Ally MacLeod 5,

0:31:40 > 0:31:45Alex McLeish 7, Walter Smith 9 and Alex Ferguson on top with 12.

0:31:45 > 0:31:50Thanks very much, Richard. Here is your third question. Whoever wins it goes through

0:31:50 > 0:31:53and plays for that jackpot of £6,500.

0:31:53 > 0:32:00We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many people depicted in da Vinci's The Last Supper

0:32:00 > 0:32:06- as they could. Richard? - Any of the people in Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper.

0:32:06 > 0:32:12- Where more than one person has the same name, we'll only accept it once.- OK, thanks, Richard.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14Stu and Craig, you go first.

0:32:20 > 0:32:22Right. Em...

0:32:22 > 0:32:29Not overly sure, but I think what we are going to go for is Bartholomew.

0:32:29 > 0:32:31Bartholomew.

0:32:31 > 0:32:38- Miriam and Sallyanne? - She did wash his feet.- I know.- Did she stay for the meal?- I don't know!

0:32:38 > 0:32:40LAUGHTER

0:32:40 > 0:32:45- We're arguing about Mary Magdalene. - She did the old feet washing...

0:32:45 > 0:32:50But we don't know if they let her stay and have something to eat.

0:32:50 > 0:32:53Sorry about this. Just talk among yourselves.

0:32:56 > 0:33:01- Oh, blow it. Go for it.- Go on. - Are you sure?- No. But go on.

0:33:01 > 0:33:05- Mary Magdalene.- Sorry. - Mary Magdalene.

0:33:05 > 0:33:11So we have Bartholomew and Mary Magdalene. St Bartholomew.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14Let's see if that's right and how many said it.

0:33:16 > 0:33:18It's right!

0:33:18 > 0:33:20It's right.

0:33:23 > 0:33:26Very, very well done - 4!

0:33:31 > 0:33:37And Miriam and Sallyanne have gone for Mary Magdalene.

0:33:37 > 0:33:44Let's see if that's right and, if it is, how many people said Mary Magdalene.

0:33:47 > 0:33:53- Oh!- Bad... - They didn't let her stay for the meal. The rotten lot!

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Or she didn't stay for the picture.

0:33:56 > 0:34:02Stu and Craig, well done. You win that point, which means at the end of this round

0:34:02 > 0:34:06Stu and Craig are through to the final, 2-1.

0:34:06 > 0:34:13Yes, it's a terrific answer, Bartholomew. Mary Magdalene not in the picture.

0:34:13 > 0:34:16She ate before she left. Let's look at all the answers.

0:34:16 > 0:34:23It's the original Celebrity Come Dine With Me. Philip and Bartholomew, the best answers.

0:34:23 > 0:34:29Jude on 6 points, Andrew on 7, Simon the Zealot on 13,

0:34:29 > 0:34:31James, son of Zebedee, 16,

0:34:31 > 0:34:35Thomas, the original Doubting Thomas, 22,

0:34:35 > 0:34:40Matthew, who wrote one of the Gospels, 47, Peter 50, Judas Iscariot 55,

0:34:40 > 0:34:44John 59 and Jesus right at the top with 80. Very much the host.

0:34:44 > 0:34:47Thank you very much, Richard.

0:34:47 > 0:34:52- So the losing pair are Miriam and Sallyanne.- That's not a problem.

0:34:52 > 0:34:57Well, some great answers from you. Wilson, lovely answer. Walter Smith!

0:34:57 > 0:35:04Brilliant. The great news is we will see you again next time, but you have been fantastic contestants.

0:35:04 > 0:35:07Thank you so much for playing - Miriam and Sallyanne!

0:35:07 > 0:35:14But for Stu and Craig it's now time for our Pointless final and the chance to win our jackpot of £6,500.

0:35:19 > 0:35:27Well, congratulations. You've fought off all the competition and won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:31 > 0:35:35You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot

0:35:35 > 0:35:39and at the end of the show the jackpot stands at £6,500.

0:35:41 > 0:35:47Now the rules are very simple. To win, just find a pointless answer

0:35:47 > 0:35:53that none of our 100 people could think of. We've only had one pointless answer today.

0:35:53 > 0:35:58It was yours with Andy Roxburgh. Another Scottish football category and you're laughing!

0:35:58 > 0:36:01You only have to find one more.

0:36:01 > 0:36:06First, you must choose a category from these three options.

0:36:11 > 0:36:18- There you go. - Well, 20th century dramatists. We're only... You're 27?- Yeah.

0:36:18 > 0:36:22We've not been around the 20th century that long

0:36:22 > 0:36:30- and we're both very picky food eaters.- Just put it in the microwave!- So we'll try tennis.

0:36:30 > 0:36:34Here is your question. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:36:34 > 0:36:40to name as many Australian Wimbledon champions as they could.

0:36:40 > 0:36:45Any Australian-born tennis player who has won a singles or doubles title at Wimbledon

0:36:45 > 0:36:49from 1980 all the way through to 2010. Very best of luck.

0:36:49 > 0:36:55You now have up to one minute to come up with three answers. All you need to win

0:36:55 > 0:37:00is for one answer to be pointless. Your 60 seconds start now.

0:37:00 > 0:37:06- Philippoussis. Did he win it? - He didn't win the singles. There's Pat Cash and Lleyton Hewitt.

0:37:06 > 0:37:12- I think doubles is the way to go. You've got Mark...Woodforde? - I really don't know.

0:37:12 > 0:37:18- And Todd Woodbridge.- Yeah. - You've got the two Woodies - Todd Woodbridge, Mark Woodforde.

0:37:18 > 0:37:22- Mark Philippoussis. - Possibly any women?

0:37:22 > 0:37:26- They're probably least likely. - There's Alicia Molik.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28Em...

0:37:28 > 0:37:31- Has she won anything? - I really don't know.

0:37:31 > 0:37:36Jelena Dokic used to play for Australia,

0:37:36 > 0:37:43but I'm not really too sure. I think the Men's Doubles are possibly...

0:37:43 > 0:37:49- the way to go. - You're better than me. - Wait, Todd...Woodbridge,

0:37:49 > 0:37:54Mark Woodforde. I hope we've got them the right way round!

0:37:54 > 0:37:56- 5 seconds left.- It has to be.

0:37:56 > 0:38:01- Woodbridge.- Todd Woodbridge. - OK, there's your time up.

0:38:01 > 0:38:05Australian Wimbledon champions. I now need three answers from you.

0:38:05 > 0:38:10OK, we'll go for Todd Woodbridge. Mark Woodforde.

0:38:10 > 0:38:14- And Mark Philippoussis. - Mark Philippoussis.

0:38:14 > 0:38:20- Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless? - I would say Todd Woodbridge.

0:38:20 > 0:38:24We'll put Todd Woodbridge third. Which is your least likely?

0:38:24 > 0:38:31- Probably Philippoussis. He's the one I've heard of!- Yeah. - OK, we'll put him first.

0:38:31 > 0:38:33Here they are.

0:38:39 > 0:38:43There they are. We were looking for Australian tennis champions.

0:38:43 > 0:38:49This was your least confident answer. You only need one pointless answer to win that £6,500.

0:38:49 > 0:38:57How many people said Mark Philippoussis? Is it right and how far down will it go?

0:38:57 > 0:38:59Mark Philippoussis.

0:39:03 > 0:39:09OK, that's fine. We've got him out the way. We knew that wouldn't be pointless.

0:39:09 > 0:39:15You have two more chances to win today's jackpot. What would you do with £6,500? Craig?

0:39:15 > 0:39:19I want to drive across America, so I'd put it towards that.

0:39:19 > 0:39:24- Which roads are you going to go on? - Probably Route 66.

0:39:24 > 0:39:29- I'll look at the map and see! - OK, very good. Stu, how about you?

0:39:29 > 0:39:35There's a whole load of stuff we need doing to our house, my wife and myself.

0:39:35 > 0:39:40- So it would go to that.- Very good. Let's hope one of these two remaining answers

0:39:40 > 0:39:46will see you able to do those things. Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Mark Woodforde.

0:39:46 > 0:39:52This has to be right and it has to be pointless. We were looking for Australian Wimbledon champions.

0:39:52 > 0:39:58For £6,500, let's see how many people said Mark Woodforde. Very best of luck.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04It's right! It's right.

0:40:04 > 0:40:10It has to be pointless. If this goes down to zero, you're leaving here with £6,500.

0:40:10 > 0:40:14Mark Woodforde is still going down... Oh, three!

0:40:14 > 0:40:16Three for Mark Woodforde.

0:40:21 > 0:40:25Someone knew Mark Woodforde. You only have one more chance.

0:40:25 > 0:40:31Todd Woodbridge. Everything hangs on that. The answer you were most confident in.

0:40:31 > 0:40:39We wanted Australian Wimbledon champions. Todd Woodbridge. Is it right? How many people said it?

0:40:41 > 0:40:44Oh, it's right! It's right.

0:40:44 > 0:40:48You kind of knew that. Mark Woodforde went down to three.

0:40:48 > 0:40:54Can Todd Woodbridge go all the way to pointless? If this goes to zero, you leave with £6,500...

0:40:54 > 0:40:56Oh, no!

0:41:01 > 0:41:05Two spectacular answers there, though. Unfortunately,

0:41:05 > 0:41:11you didn't manage to find that vital pointless answer, so you don't win that £6,500,

0:41:11 > 0:41:19which will roll over. But you have been brilliant contestants and you take our Pointless trophy. Richard?

0:41:19 > 0:41:25You've done yourselves proud and can hold your head up high when you go back to school.

0:41:25 > 0:41:31The Woodies won six doubles titles. Todd Woodbridge won three more with Jonas Bjorkman.

0:41:31 > 0:41:37They both won a mixed doubles as well. Lleyton Hewitt, Pat Cash, they were big scorers,

0:41:37 > 0:41:41but there are six pointless answers. All doubles players.

0:41:41 > 0:41:47John Fitzgerald won two doubles and a mixed with Liz Smylie, another pointless answer.

0:41:47 > 0:41:53She also won a women's doubles. Rennae Stubbs won two doubles titles.

0:41:53 > 0:41:59Samantha Stosur won mixed doubles, Stephen Huss won a men's doubles and Wendy Turnbull,

0:41:59 > 0:42:04she won in '83 and '84 with Britain's John Lloyd. Well done if you got any of those.

0:42:04 > 0:42:09- Tough category.- Very tough. And you knew...- Sam Stosur.

0:42:09 > 0:42:14- Sam Stosur. Dear, oh, dear. - Means nothing to me.- Never mind.

0:42:14 > 0:42:22But we do have to say goodbye to you. It's been brilliant having you. You've been a credit to the school.

0:42:22 > 0:42:26- Thank you very much for playing. - Thanks.

0:42:30 > 0:42:37Nobody's won our jackpot today, so it rolls over and on the next show we're playing for £7,500.

0:42:37 > 0:42:44- Join us next time to see if someone can win it. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.- Goodbye.- And from me.

0:43:00 > 0:43:04Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2012

0:43:05 > 0:43:07Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk