Episode 38

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0:00:20 > 0:00:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:22 > 0:00:26Thank you. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless

0:00:26 > 0:00:31where the lowest scorers are the biggest winners. Let's meet today's players.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33APPLAUSE

0:00:33 > 0:00:38First up, we welcome Tom and Mara. How do you two know each other, Tom?

0:00:38 > 0:00:43We're flatmates at university. We were in halls in first year and have been good friends ever since.

0:00:43 > 0:00:46- And where is that, Mara?- Edinburgh.

0:00:46 > 0:00:51- Where are you from originally, Mara? - I'm from San Francisco originally.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54- Wow! And came to Edinburgh?- Yeah. - Any particular reason?

0:00:54 > 0:00:58I went to school in London and then decided to stay.

0:00:58 > 0:01:03- Tom, what have you been reading? - I've been doing Spanish and History.

0:01:03 > 0:01:08- What are you hoping to do, now you've left?- I'd quite like to go into sports journalism,

0:01:08 > 0:01:10but maybe something to do with travel.

0:01:10 > 0:01:16- You're covering a lot of ground here, Pointlessly. - It could just be a double bluff.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19No-one ever got through on bluffing, Tom.

0:01:19 > 0:01:24- Anything you're dreading, Mara? - Yeah, British children's TV.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27- British children? - British children as well!

0:01:27 > 0:01:33- They will pop up from time to time. Welcome to the show, Tom and Mara. Very best of luck.- Thank you.

0:01:33 > 0:01:36We welcome back Liz and Jennie. You were on the show last time.

0:01:36 > 0:01:41Everyone gets two shots at the Pointless final. This is your last chance to get through.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Jennie, what happened last time? - I behaved really badly.

0:01:45 > 0:01:49I know nothing, nothing about American soaps.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51I didn't have time to watch them.

0:01:51 > 0:01:55We discovered last time that you're a retired headteacher.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59- I was far too busy. Do you know what my daughter said to me?- What?

0:01:59 > 0:02:03She said, "I'm not cross. I'm just disappointed."

0:02:03 > 0:02:06LAUGHTER

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Liz, what would you like to see come up today?

0:02:09 > 0:02:14I don't know. Something a bit less to do with American TV probably.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17It's fine for me, but obviously not for my mum.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Jennie, things you'd particularly like to see?

0:02:20 > 0:02:24- I'd like to see some food and drink, please.- Food and drink?- Yeah.

0:02:24 > 0:02:30- Liz and Jennie, a very warm welcome back to the show. Let's see lots more of you today.- Thank you.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Next, we welcome Chris and Joe. How do you know each other?

0:02:33 > 0:02:39Just through uni. We went to the same college together, then we just kept in contact through uni.

0:02:39 > 0:02:45- What are you doing, Joe? - I'm doing Physics at the moment and it's really hard.

0:02:46 > 0:02:52- What are you doing, Chris, and how hard is it on a scale of one to five?- Is five hard or one hard?

0:02:52 > 0:02:58- Five's hard.- Five's hard. I'm training to be a teacher and...four.- Very good.

0:02:58 > 0:03:03- Do you dress as a cabin boy when you're teaching, Chris? - LAUGHTER

0:03:03 > 0:03:08No. I try and dress like either you or Richard, then go along with that look.

0:03:08 > 0:03:12- OK, it's a good look, it's a good look.- And I am wearing shorts today.

0:03:12 > 0:03:17Oh, yeah. Chris, what are you hoping is going to come up today?

0:03:17 > 0:03:20Probably either history or American sitcoms.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23You see, Jennie? He's taunting you.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26I know I'm on my own here.

0:03:26 > 0:03:31- What age group do you teach, Chris? - I'm training for primary, so from 4 to 11-year-olds.

0:03:31 > 0:03:37- That's a pretty broad syllabus. - Yeah.- You should have a pretty good Pointless grounding in many things.

0:03:37 > 0:03:42- Hopefully.- Joe, obviously, the sciences are going to be good for you.

0:03:42 > 0:03:47- Physics, in particular. - I did Chemistry at A-level as well, so I hope some of that comes up.

0:03:47 > 0:03:51It does from time to time. Joe, Chris, it's great to have you here.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55And finally, we've got Liz and Autumn. How do you two know each other?

0:03:55 > 0:03:59We met five or six years ago when we were both doing some charity work.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03When that was finished, we remained good friends.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05What are your hobbies, Liz?

0:04:05 > 0:04:11Well, I look after Autumn's little boy for a couple of days a week, so child-minding.

0:04:11 > 0:04:16I like word games, I like walking my dogs. I love cooking and baking, so...

0:04:16 > 0:04:20- So, Autumn, how old is your boy? - One and a half.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24- So, children's TV, children's books, these will be good?- Yeah.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27What other hobbies do you have, Autumn?

0:04:27 > 0:04:31I play the flute, so sometimes I play at my local church.

0:04:31 > 0:04:35So, music would be good. A warm welcome to you, Liz and Autumn.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39We'll find out more about all of you throughout the show.

0:04:39 > 0:04:45There's only one person left to introduce. If he was a Transformer, he would be an Obscuritron.

0:04:45 > 0:04:49- It's my Pointless friend Richard. - Hiya. Hello.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52APPLAUSE

0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon to you.

0:04:57 > 0:05:03- Just one returning pair today, Liz and Jennie. They didn't stick around, did they, last time?- No.

0:05:03 > 0:05:08I imagine if one of your pupils said, "I haven't had any time to look at Chemistry,"

0:05:08 > 0:05:12- you'd have something to say about it.- I would, I would.

0:05:12 > 0:05:18I have to say, Round One today is a proper school subject, so you'd better do well.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21- I think you will.- I hope so!

0:05:21 > 0:05:24You've just told off Jennie.

0:05:24 > 0:05:29- Did you see that?- Yeah.- He's been waiting to do that to a headteacher for a long while.- Yeah.

0:05:29 > 0:05:34- I called her to my office after the show last time.- Did you?- Yeah.- Wow!

0:05:34 > 0:05:38I told her she'd let herself down and the whole show down.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Thanks, Richard. All our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46To get to the final and have a chance of winning the jackpot,

0:05:46 > 0:05:50our contestants need to find obscure answers those 100 people didn't get,

0:05:50 > 0:05:55so the fewer of those 100 people who knew the answer, the fewer points you'll score.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00Everyone wants to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people knew

0:06:00 > 0:06:03and when that happens, we add £250 to the jackpot.

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Charlotte and Esther won the jackpot last time, so today's jackpot starts at £1,000.

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

0:06:16 > 0:06:21In this first round, each of you must give me one answer and you cannot confer with your partner.

0:06:21 > 0:06:25The pair with the highest score at the end of the round is eliminated.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28OK, our first category for Round One today is...

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Jennie not particularly happy with that one either!

0:06:35 > 0:06:39Can you decide who's going first, who's going second?

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47OK, our Round One question concerns...

0:06:50 > 0:06:57- Richard?- Zander is about to show you a picture of the Periodic Table with various sections highlighted.

0:06:57 > 0:07:03We need you to tell us the name of any of the elements in those highlighted areas. Best of luck.

0:07:03 > 0:07:08Thanks very much. Tom and Mara, you all drew lots before the show and you'll go first.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12OK, so here is our image with the highlighted elements.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16I'm not going to read them out.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Tom?

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Um...

0:07:22 > 0:07:25I'm going to play it fairly safe

0:07:25 > 0:07:27and say Sodium.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29You're going to say Sodium.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many of our 100 said Sodium.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Absolutely right.

0:07:42 > 0:07:4326.

0:07:43 > 0:07:47That feels kind of solid. 26 for Sodium.

0:07:47 > 0:07:52Yeah, we can see it there, "Na" in the alkali metals. Good start. Well played.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Now then, Jennie, your time to shine.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01- Lithium.- Lithium, says Jennie.

0:08:01 > 0:08:06Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many of our 100 said Lithium.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Absolutely right.

0:08:10 > 0:08:1250.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14APPLAUSE

0:08:17 > 0:08:21Yeah, another alkali metal just above Sodium there - "Li".

0:08:21 > 0:08:25- Just about got away with it, Jennie, I think.- Just about.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29Chris, so we're looking for these elements on the Periodic Table.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31What are you going to go for?

0:08:31 > 0:08:37- I'm going to go for Potassium. - Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 said Potassium.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Absolutely right.

0:08:43 > 0:08:4430.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47APPLAUSE

0:08:47 > 0:08:4930 for Potassium.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52Well done, Chris. There is "K", again in the alkali metals.

0:08:52 > 0:08:57It's like a game of Blockbusters so far, just going down the board through the letters.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Liz...

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Liz, how is this for you?

0:09:02 > 0:09:04I recognise one or two.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07I'm going to go for Calcium.

0:09:07 > 0:09:14OK, you're going to say Calcium. Calcium. Let's see how many of our 100 said Calcium.

0:09:21 > 0:09:2227.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25APPLAUSE

0:09:25 > 0:09:29- 27 for Calcium.- Yeah, there it is, "Ca", in the alkaline earth metals.

0:09:29 > 0:09:36- The alkaline earth metals?- Yeah. - They're the second line in?- That's the pale blue ones.- I had no idea.

0:09:36 > 0:09:41- I had no idea they were arranged like that.- Yeah, someone has put some thought into this.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44- It's almost like it's a table. - Yeah. Yeah, if you like.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Clever.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49- Who knew? Who knew? - I'll tell you who knew.

0:09:49 > 0:09:55- The person who invented the Periodic Table. I'll say at the end of the round.- Thanks, Richard.

0:09:55 > 0:09:59We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03The best score of the pass - 26, so, Tom, you did very well.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Then up to 27 where we find Liz and Autumn,

0:10:06 > 0:10:11up to 30 where we find Chris and Joe, three scores all very close together,

0:10:11 > 0:10:13then up to 50 which is quite a leap,

0:10:13 > 0:10:20so, Liz C, we'll require a really low-scoring answer from you in the next pass to keep you in the game.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24Very best of luck. Can the second players take their places at the podium?

0:10:27 > 0:10:31Now then, Autumn, the high scorers on 50 are Liz and Jennie.

0:10:31 > 0:10:36You're on 27, so a score of 22 or less will keep you in the game.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40So we are looking for these elements on the Periodic Table.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41OK...

0:10:41 > 0:10:44- I think Magnesium. - Here is your red line.

0:10:44 > 0:10:48If you get below that, you avoid becoming the high scorers.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Magnesium, is it right, how many people said it?

0:10:56 > 0:10:5846.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00APPLAUSE

0:11:00 > 0:11:0346 for Magnesium takes your total up to 73.

0:11:03 > 0:11:10And we continue our grouping. That's "Mg", another alkaline earth metal, discovered by Sir Humphry Davy.

0:11:10 > 0:11:14Joe, the high scorers are now Autumn and Liz on 73. You're on 30,

0:11:14 > 0:11:18which means a score of 42 or less keeps you in the game.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21I think we might have a good, low-scoring answer from you.

0:11:21 > 0:11:25I know a few. I'm going to keep away from grouping it together.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27I'm going to go for Americium.

0:11:27 > 0:11:33There you go. Americium. Let's see if it's right and if it is, how many of our 100 said Americium.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Absolutely right.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41And you are through to Round Two.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44Very well done.

0:11:44 > 0:11:466.

0:11:47 > 0:11:496 takes your total up to 36.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53- Well done, Joe. That's a Chemistry A-level for you.- Yeah.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56- Number 95 in the rare earth elements. That's good.- It is.

0:11:56 > 0:12:01Now, Liz, crunch time. The high scorers on 73 are Autumn and Liz.

0:12:01 > 0:12:09You are on 50. If you can score 22 or less, you will go through to the next round.

0:12:09 > 0:12:13We are looking for the elements highlighted on this Periodic Table.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's slightly risky, but I'll go for it.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Californium.

0:12:18 > 0:12:23Californium, says Liz. Some very scientific nods from further along the line.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27Californium. If you can get below that red line,

0:12:27 > 0:12:29you are through to the next round.

0:12:29 > 0:12:33Best of luck. Californium, is it right, how many people said it?

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Very well done.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Yeah, you're through.

0:12:41 > 0:12:431!

0:12:43 > 0:12:48The lowest score of the round so far, Liz. That takes your total up to 51. Very well done.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52- Through you go to Round Two. Richard?- Terrific answer, Liz.

0:12:52 > 0:12:58Another of the rare earth elements, just along from Americium there, at number 98.

0:12:58 > 0:13:05Now then, Mara... Mara, you're on 26. The high scorers remain Autumn and Liz on 73.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09If you can score 46 or less, you are through to the next round.

0:13:09 > 0:13:10Yeah...

0:13:10 > 0:13:13You can talk us through the table.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16I just think I'm making up words. I'm a little concerned.

0:13:16 > 0:13:21I'm sorry if this is wrong, but I'm going to go for, um...

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Radon?

0:13:24 > 0:13:29Radon. Tom's nodding, Liz is nodding, Joe's looking askance.

0:13:29 > 0:13:36Radon, says Mara. There's your red line. If you get below it, you are into the next round. Good luck.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Let's see if Radon is right, how many people said it?

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Bad luck, Mara.

0:13:42 > 0:13:48That's incorrect, so you score the maximum of 100 points and that takes your total up to an unbeatable 126.

0:13:48 > 0:13:54- I'm sorry.- Yeah, sorry, Mara. Radon is one of the noble gases. It's "Rn".

0:13:54 > 0:13:56It's number 86 there.

0:13:56 > 0:14:01The "Ra" there is Radium which would have scored you 7 points, a very good answer.

0:14:01 > 0:14:07Often in our 100 people we get some specialists who can go through all of these, as I'm sure Joe could do.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10But the four pointless answers are...

0:14:10 > 0:14:14Holmium, that would have been a pointless answer, "Ho" there.

0:14:14 > 0:14:19Mendelevium... When you were saying who put together the Periodic Table,

0:14:19 > 0:14:24Dmitri Mendeleev is widely regarded as putting it together in all these columns and rows.

0:14:24 > 0:14:30- It must have taken him hours.- Yeah, it took him four and a half hours. It took him a whole afternoon.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32- That was Mendeleev.- Yeah.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36The next one is...Protactinium.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38That's a good name, Protactinium.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42Very well done if you said that one. And the only other pointless answer

0:14:42 > 0:14:44was Thulium. There's Thulium.

0:14:44 > 0:14:48Very, very well done if you got any of those four at home.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Thank you very much, Richard.

0:14:50 > 0:14:56At the end of our first round, the losing pair with their high score of 126, I'm afraid, it's Mara and Tom.

0:14:56 > 0:15:03- Very promising start, Tom, lowest score in the first pass. Mara, you were just looking at "Ra".- I was.

0:15:03 > 0:15:07Oh, dear. Were there any others there that caught your eye?

0:15:07 > 0:15:11It was between that and Beryllium, but I didn't know if I was making that one up.

0:15:11 > 0:15:18- Beryllium would have been fine, "Be". It scored 20 points.- It would have been a "Berylliant" answer!

0:15:18 > 0:15:24The good news is we see you again next time. Mara and Tom, thanks so much for playing. Great contestants.

0:15:26 > 0:15:30But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:15:35 > 0:15:39Obviously, there's only room for two pairs in our head-to-head round,

0:15:39 > 0:15:42so one pair will be leaving us at the end of this round.

0:15:42 > 0:15:48Liz and Jennie, you've done exactly what you needed to do. Very good. Californium...

0:15:48 > 0:15:50I don't know where that came from.

0:15:50 > 0:15:54- California.- Yeah.- Yeah. LAUGHTER

0:15:54 > 0:15:59Chris and Joe, a great performance there. You pulled it out of the bag.

0:15:59 > 0:16:03Americium. Very good indeed, lovely low scores from both of you.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06You're looking like the favourites at this stage of the show.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09OK, our category for Round Two is...

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Can you decide in your pairs who's going first, who's going second?

0:16:15 > 0:16:19And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23OK, the question concerns...

0:16:26 > 0:16:31I'm really sorry Mara's not around for this. I think she'd enjoy that.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34- Of course. To her, it would mean old toilets.- Yeah.

0:16:34 > 0:16:40- Historical Johns. Richard?- Yeah, we're going to show you 12 clues to famous figures from history

0:16:40 > 0:16:43called John or commonly known as John.

0:16:43 > 0:16:48Give us a nice, obscure answer. An incorrect answer will score 100 points, so take care.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52There will be 12 in all across the two passes. Good luck.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56OK, so here are our first six Historical Johns.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20I'll read those all one last time.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44OK, there we are, six clues to famous Johns.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47Now, Liz, you're going to go first.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51How many of those do you think you know?

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Hmm...

0:17:54 > 0:17:59Possibly...two or three maybe.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03- How obscure dare you go, do you think?- I don't think I dare go very obscure.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10I'm going to go for the Scottish pioneer of television.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13I think it's John Logie Baird.

0:18:13 > 0:18:18John Logie Baird. Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer.

0:18:24 > 0:18:2637.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28APPLAUSE

0:18:29 > 0:18:36- 37.- Well played, Liz. Fairly safe answer. John Logie Baird, we have a lot to thank him for.- Yeah.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39And his often overlooked sidekick Boo-Boo as well.

0:18:39 > 0:18:45- Yeah, exactly, who invented the remote control.- Absolutely. - LAUGHTER

0:18:45 > 0:18:46Joe...

0:18:46 > 0:18:49I knew that one.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51Well, yeah, I think I did.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55There's only one... There's only one left I know, really.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59And it's the Back To The Future and it was John DeLorean.

0:18:59 > 0:19:04Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said John DeLorean.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Absolutely right.

0:19:11 > 0:19:1227.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15- APPLAUSE - Very well done indeed.

0:19:17 > 0:19:22Yes, John Zachary DeLorean, possibly the most famous car in movie history.

0:19:22 > 0:19:27Thanks very much, Richard. Now then, Liz, you're the last person to have this selection of Johns,

0:19:27 > 0:19:29so you can talk us through them.

0:19:29 > 0:19:33No. I definitely knew the Scottish one.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39I'm going to take a little bit of a guess.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42I'm not so sure, but I'll go with the saxophonist

0:19:42 > 0:19:47and I'm going to hope that it's John or Johnny Dankworth.

0:19:47 > 0:19:52Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people knew that answer. Johnny Dankworth.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57No!

0:19:57 > 0:20:01Bad luck, Liz. I was sure you were going to say the right one there.

0:20:01 > 0:20:05That's an incorrect answer, which scores you 100 points. Good guess, though.

0:20:05 > 0:20:08Right instrument.

0:20:08 > 0:20:14Yeah, jazz fans screaming at the TV now. John Coltrane was A Love Supreme, I'm afraid.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17John Coltrane would have scored you 4 points.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Let's go through the rest of them.

0:20:20 > 0:20:25- Wrote Ode On A Grecian Urn?- Keats. - John Keats. Absolutely right. Would have scored 11.

0:20:25 > 0:20:30The US oil magnate who co-founded Standard Oil, I've been reading a lot about him.

0:20:30 > 0:20:35They do calculations of different people's wealth at different stages of history

0:20:35 > 0:20:39and there's an argument to say he was the richest man who ever lived.

0:20:39 > 0:20:45- The richest man of all time, in any era.- And he had the coolest name.- He did.

0:20:45 > 0:20:49It was John D Rockefeller. 2 points that would have scored you.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52The World War One soldier is a pointless answer.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55- I'm guessing Sherman. - I guessed Sherman as well.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58- It's wrong.- Ah!- It's Pershing.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02So, a terrific answer if you said that - John Pershing.

0:21:03 > 0:21:06- OK... Isn't there a Pershing missile as well?- Yeah.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10Also, they named some rugs after him.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12LAUGHTER

0:21:12 > 0:21:14And a cat.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19Halfway through the round, let's look at those scores.

0:21:19 > 0:21:2527, the best score of the pass. Joe and Chris, that's yours, so looking pretty strong at this stage.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28Then up to 37 to Liz and Jennie.

0:21:28 > 0:21:32Then I'm afraid it's quite a hike up to 100 to Liz and Autumn.

0:21:32 > 0:21:37Autumn, we'll need some brilliant answering from you on the next pass.

0:21:37 > 0:21:44Best of luck. Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

0:21:44 > 0:21:49OK, we'll put six more clues to historical Johns on the board.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51- We have got... - READS THE LIST

0:22:07 > 0:22:10I'll read those one last time.

0:22:26 > 0:22:31There we are. We are looking for these historical Johns. Autumn wants the one the fewest people knew.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38There is only one that I can sort of...think I know.

0:22:38 > 0:22:44- I'm going to have to say the star of the Westerns, John Wayne. - John Wayne.

0:22:44 > 0:22:49You're the high scorers on 100. You have to hope this goes down as far as it possibly can.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53Is it right? How many people said it?

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Ooh. High score there.

0:23:00 > 0:23:06That scores you 70 and takes your total up to an unbeatable 170. Richard?

0:23:06 > 0:23:12A correct score, but a big score. He called himself Duke Morrison for his early films.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14His real name was Marion Morrison.

0:23:14 > 0:23:18Now then, Chris. You're through to the Head to Head, whatever happens.

0:23:18 > 0:23:25- But let's see how well you can do. How many of those Johns do you know? - Absolutely none of them!

0:23:26 > 0:23:29I've got John Cleese in my head.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31LAUGHTER I don't think he's any of them.

0:23:31 > 0:23:36I don't know if there was a President John Carter, but...

0:23:36 > 0:23:39I could just be making up names.

0:23:40 > 0:23:44I'm going to go John Carter for the US President. No idea.

0:23:44 > 0:23:48OK, John Carter says Chris for the US President.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51Let's see if it's right and how many said it.

0:23:54 > 0:24:01No. Bad luck, Chris. An incorrect answer. It scores you 100 points and takes your total to 127,

0:24:01 > 0:24:06- but you're through anyway. Richard? - You might be thinking of the recent film, John Carter.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09- The big... - LAUGHTER

0:24:09 > 0:24:15And there was Jimmy Carter, but all those things don't add up to a correct answer, I'm afraid.

0:24:15 > 0:24:21- You're through, though. - Jennie, you are also through to the Head to Head.

0:24:21 > 0:24:26- I am much happier today.- I thought you might be. Talk us through it.

0:24:26 > 0:24:33I can't tell you all of them. That's John Kennedy, but I'd have thought that's a very high score.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37I might be wrong. I'm not going for this, I'm going for the next one.

0:24:37 > 0:24:42That could be John Calvin. It might not be. That first one.

0:24:42 > 0:24:48- The French Protestant. - But it's definitely John Milton who wrote Paradise Lost.

0:24:48 > 0:24:54John Milton says Jennie. Let's see if that's right and how many people said it.

0:24:54 > 0:24:58No red line for you, either, because you're already through.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00Absolutely right.

0:25:03 > 0:25:0526. Very well done, Jennie.

0:25:05 > 0:25:08That takes your total up to 63.

0:25:08 > 0:25:12- Richard?- Well played, Jennie. Published in 1667.

0:25:12 > 0:25:17Did you see the real headmistress coming out there? She very subtly, but definitely,

0:25:17 > 0:25:22- was telling Chris off for not knowing John F Kennedy.- I'm sorry!

0:25:22 > 0:25:26- It was just a glare. - Chris spotted it.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28I have nothing to say.

0:25:28 > 0:25:34You'll have that in a few years' in your classroom and will be able to do that.

0:25:34 > 0:25:39The US President was John F Kennedy. It would have scored 38 points. Very low score.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43The French Protestant reformer, you're quite right, is John Calvin.

0:25:43 > 0:25:48The US gangster betrayed by the Woman In Red? John Dillinger.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50That would have scored 7 points.

0:25:50 > 0:25:54And the philosopher who wrote A System of Logic...

0:25:54 > 0:25:58- John Stuart Mill.- Absolutely right. That's the best answer there.

0:25:58 > 0:26:04- Well done if you got all six. - Thanks, Richard. So the pair with the highest score,

0:26:04 > 0:26:08who will be leaving us, it's Autumn and Liz. Bad luck!

0:26:08 > 0:26:12- Johnny Dankworth!- Not good. - Well, it could have been.

0:26:12 > 0:26:17As guesses go, saxophonists called John. There you are.

0:26:17 > 0:26:22But no, John Coltrane, I'm sorry to say, but we'll see you next time.

0:26:22 > 0:26:26We'll look forward to that. Thanks for playing, Autumn and Liz.

0:26:28 > 0:26:32But for the remaining two pairs, we enter the Head to Head.

0:26:38 > 0:26:42Congratulations, Liz and Jennie, Chris and Joe.

0:26:42 > 0:26:48You are now only one round away from our final and a chance to play for our jackpot, which is £1,000.

0:26:48 > 0:26:54You'll now go head to head and the first pair to win two questions plays for that jackpot.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56You're now allowed to confer.

0:26:56 > 0:27:01So you see, Jennie, eventually Pointless has given you some rounds to show your mettle.

0:27:01 > 0:27:06- Those last two were wonderful. - Very good. And Chris...

0:27:06 > 0:27:10- John Carter.- Yeah, John Carter. LAUGHTER

0:27:10 > 0:27:14- It's a new film, Alexander.- Joe, did you know the Kennedy answer?

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Yeah, I knew JFK. Yeah.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19- Sorry. - LAUGHTER

0:27:19 > 0:27:24- Blimey! Chris is getting it from all angles.- But the good news is

0:27:24 > 0:27:30from now on, Chris and Joe, you can confer. As indeed can you, Liz and Jennie.

0:27:30 > 0:27:33It's going to be very exciting. Head to Head.

0:27:39 > 0:27:46OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns... artists and their paintings.

0:27:46 > 0:27:52- Richard?- Yeah, on this board we'll show you the names of five artists and their famous paintings,

0:27:52 > 0:27:56but we've missed a word off each painting. Can you fill it in?

0:27:56 > 0:28:02OK, thanks very much. Let's reveal our five artists and their paintings with missing words.

0:28:02 > 0:28:04- And we have got... - READS THE LIST

0:28:19 > 0:28:21I'll read those all one last time.

0:28:31 > 0:28:35There we are. Five famous artists and their paintings.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38Liz and Jennie, you get to go first.

0:28:47 > 0:28:49Yes.

0:28:49 > 0:28:52We'll go for The Blue Boy, Thomas Gainsborough.

0:28:52 > 0:28:56The Blue Boy, Thomas Gainsborough, say Liz and Jennie.

0:28:56 > 0:29:01- Chris and Joe, you can speak out loud now.- Well, obviously... - The Mona Lisa.

0:29:01 > 0:29:06I think it's Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh.

0:29:06 > 0:29:12- But...- The Persistence of Time? - I think it's The Persistence of Time. He did a lot of clocks,

0:29:12 > 0:29:16- Salvador Dali, did he?- Is it the one with the melting clocks?

0:29:16 > 0:29:20- I don't know. I think we'll go The Persistence of Time.- Yeah.

0:29:20 > 0:29:26OK, The Persistence of Time say Chris and Joe. And The Blue Boy.

0:29:26 > 0:29:30Liz and Jennie said The Blue Boy. Let's see if that's right and how many said it.

0:29:33 > 0:29:35It's right.

0:29:37 > 0:29:3845.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44- Too many.- 45 for The Blue Boy.

0:29:44 > 0:29:50Chris and Joe said The Persistence of Time. Let's see if that's right and how many said it.

0:29:53 > 0:29:57Bad luck, Chris and Joe. That's an incorrect answer.

0:29:57 > 0:30:04- Liz and Jennie are up one-nil. Richard?- It is the melting clocks, but it's The Persistence of Memory.

0:30:04 > 0:30:07It would have scored you 3 points.

0:30:07 > 0:30:13These are the commonly-known English names of these works. Starry Night was correct and would have won.

0:30:13 > 0:30:17It only would have scored 28, amazingly.

0:30:17 > 0:30:24American Gothic by Grant Wood. The gaunt farming couple with the pitchfork.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27That would have scored 7 points.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29And the bottom one, Zander?

0:30:29 > 0:30:30Er...94.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33You think 94. It was The Mona Lisa.

0:30:33 > 0:30:37- And it would have scored you... 100 points.- Wow!

0:30:37 > 0:30:44- We don't see that very often. That's a famous painting. - We have had that?- 100? Yeah.

0:30:44 > 0:30:48There we go. Thank goodness you didn't say that.

0:30:48 > 0:30:54Well done, Liz and Jennie. Here comes your second question. Chris and Joe need this.

0:30:54 > 0:30:59It concerns...Morecambe and Wise. Morecambe and Wise.

0:30:59 > 0:31:05- Richard?- Simply five questions about the legendary comedy duo. Which is the most obscure answer?

0:31:05 > 0:31:09OK, let's reveal our five clues to facts about Morecambe and Wise.

0:31:09 > 0:31:12- We have got... - READS THE LIST

0:31:26 > 0:31:28I'll read those one more time.

0:31:43 > 0:31:47There we are. Chris and Joe, you go first this time.

0:31:47 > 0:31:50- Do you know any?- Not a single one.

0:31:50 > 0:31:55- Do you know an actress who was around in the '70s? - No. Barbara Windsor?

0:31:55 > 0:31:58No, I don't think so.

0:31:58 > 0:32:00Eric Morecambe's real surname?

0:32:02 > 0:32:06Shall we just go for something really simple like Jones?

0:32:06 > 0:32:11We have absolutely no idea on any of these,

0:32:11 > 0:32:18- so we'll go with Eric Morecambe's real surname and just a very common surname...- Jones.

0:32:18 > 0:32:24I thought you were going to say Armstrong for a moment. Now, Liz and Jennie,

0:32:24 > 0:32:31- you can talk us through the board if you like.- OK, I think the actress who played Cleopatra

0:32:31 > 0:32:38- was Glenda Jackson. Do you think? - No...- I think it was. The one who became an MP.

0:32:38 > 0:32:43I don't know the signature tune. Oh, I know what that is. Yeah. Bring Me Sunshine.

0:32:43 > 0:32:50- Don't know the film, don't know his surname. The conductor is Andre Previn.- Yes.

0:32:50 > 0:32:55- We'll go for Andre Previn, I think. - Andre Previn, the conductor in their 1971 Christmas special.

0:32:55 > 0:33:03So we have from Chris and Joe, Jones. Let's see if Jones is right and how many of our 100 said it.

0:33:06 > 0:33:10Bad luck, Chris and Joe. This means, Liz and Jennie,

0:33:10 > 0:33:15you merely have to be right to go through to the final. Andre Previn, is that right?

0:33:17 > 0:33:19It is right. Very well done.

0:33:19 > 0:33:2261 people knew it.

0:33:22 > 0:33:29All it had to be was correct, though, and after only two questions you are through to the final, 2-0.

0:33:29 > 0:33:35Well played. Terrific work. A brilliant sketch - Mr Preview. Let's go through the board.

0:33:35 > 0:33:40Liz, you're right. The actress was Glenda Jackson. Good answer, 23 points.

0:33:40 > 0:33:46You're right about the signature tune. Bring Me Sunshine. That would have scored 48.

0:33:46 > 0:33:51Eric Morecambe's real surname. Not Jones. It was Bartholomew.

0:33:51 > 0:33:57- Aw, so close(!) - Ernest Wiseman and Eric Bartholomew. Yes, so close! 13 points.

0:33:57 > 0:34:02- You should have gone for Carter. - That would have been good.

0:34:02 > 0:34:06- And their 1965 feature film? - Something about the Riviera?

0:34:06 > 0:34:09No, it was The Intelligence Men.

0:34:09 > 0:34:15- Ah. The Intelligence Men. - That would have scored one point.

0:34:15 > 0:34:20Thanks, Richard. So at the end of Round Two, our losing pair are Chris and Joe.

0:34:20 > 0:34:26You did awfully well in the first couple of rounds. I say awfully well, but we had John Carter.

0:34:26 > 0:34:30- Sorry, Chris.- Keep rubbing it in. - I won't forget it in a hurry.

0:34:30 > 0:34:33There was a Jimmy Carter. Be kind.

0:34:33 > 0:34:37- I know, I know!- Do you know what, Jennie? You started all this.

0:34:39 > 0:34:45But the great news is you'll be back. We'll see you next time and look forward to that very much.

0:34:45 > 0:34:49Thanks for playing. Great fun having you on the show.

0:34:49 > 0:34:53But for Liz and Jennie it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:34:58 > 0:35:04Congratulations, Liz and Jennie. You've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:10 > 0:35:16You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot. And the jackpot stands at £1,000.

0:35:16 > 0:35:22- You've done exactly what you had to do. I think you were warming up last time.- Yes, say that.

0:35:22 > 0:35:27It's textbook play. You've restored head teachers to their rightful place

0:35:27 > 0:35:31at the top of the Pointless league. Very well done indeed.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33We've put you through your paces.

0:35:33 > 0:35:37- Yes.- Famous Johns. - That was the easy bit.

0:35:37 > 0:35:42- What else? Morecambe and Wise? Periodic Table.- Yeah.

0:35:42 > 0:35:47- Art?- Yes!- And a stunning 2-0 victory in the Head to Head. Very impressive.

0:35:47 > 0:35:53Now the rules are very simple. To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

0:35:53 > 0:35:58We haven't had any today. You only have to find one now.

0:35:58 > 0:36:02First choose a category and you have five choices. Here they are.

0:36:10 > 0:36:14Well, we don't want to go Scottish Sportsmen, do we?

0:36:14 > 0:36:19- What about Heads of State? - Possibly. How confident do you feel?

0:36:19 > 0:36:24- I wouldn't go for Modern Theatre or American Actors. - European Literature?

0:36:24 > 0:36:32- It's that or Heads of State.- Yeah. - But...- The others are too broad. But you might get Frank Sinatra!

0:36:32 > 0:36:37- And then we'd win.- Yeah, but... Well, we have to go for something.

0:36:37 > 0:36:39So, em...

0:36:40 > 0:36:42Heads of State?

0:36:43 > 0:36:45- Heads of State.- Heads of State.

0:36:45 > 0:36:50OK, let's find out what the question is. We gave 100 people 100 seconds

0:36:50 > 0:36:57to name as many Commonwealth nations that do not have Queen Elizabeth II as the Head of State as they could.

0:36:58 > 0:37:02- Richard?- We're simply looking for any member state of the Commonwealth

0:37:02 > 0:37:08that does not have Queen Elizabeth as its Head of State as of May, 2012.

0:37:08 > 0:37:13Queen Elizabeth is not their Head of State. Very best of luck.

0:37:13 > 0:37:17OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

0:37:17 > 0:37:21and all you need to win that £1,000 is for just one to be pointless.

0:37:21 > 0:37:23Are you ready?

0:37:23 > 0:37:29OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are. Your time starts now.

0:37:29 > 0:37:35Em, OK. I've never thought about this before. I just thought she was head of the Commonwealth.

0:37:35 > 0:37:40- Australia?- I think she is still Head of State.

0:37:40 > 0:37:45- What about Zimbabwe?- She's definitely not Head of State there.

0:37:45 > 0:37:49That's a Commonwealth country, isn't it? What about South Africa?

0:37:49 > 0:37:56- South Africa might be. The Caribbean certainly is. - Is it? Jamaica?- Yeah.- Jamaica...

0:37:56 > 0:38:01- We've had Australia.- Trinidad... Cuba - that's not the Commonwealth!

0:38:01 > 0:38:04I wish it was!

0:38:04 > 0:38:07Where else is there?

0:38:07 > 0:38:09New Zealand.

0:38:09 > 0:38:13Oh, she's not New Zealand. Try New Zealand.

0:38:13 > 0:38:17OK, so we'll say New Zealand, Zimbabwe. Another African country.

0:38:17 > 0:38:24- 10 seconds left.- Well, we have Jamaica.- Jamaica.- That was Caribbean.- Is it the Commonwealth?

0:38:24 > 0:38:29Jamaica used to be. It used to be.

0:38:29 > 0:38:36OK, your time is up. We were looking for Commonwealth nations without Queen Elizabeth II as Head of State.

0:38:36 > 0:38:39I now need your three answers.

0:38:39 > 0:38:43- OK. I will say Zimbabwe. - Zimbabwe.

0:38:43 > 0:38:48- New Zealand.- New Zealand. - And what was the other one?

0:38:48 > 0:38:54- Jamaica.- And Jamaica. Of those three, which do you think is your best crack at a pointless answer?

0:38:54 > 0:39:02- We're not even sure we've got the right things!- Probably Zimbabwe. - OK, we'll put Zimbabwe last.

0:39:02 > 0:39:08- What shall we put first?- Jamaica. - OK, we'll put Jamaica first. And New Zealand in the middle.

0:39:08 > 0:39:14- It may well not be.- I don't think so.- OK, let's pop those up in that order. And we have got...

0:39:17 > 0:39:21Commonwealth nations that don't have Queen Elizabeth as Head of State.

0:39:21 > 0:39:28Jamaica was your least confident answer. You only need one pointless answer to win that £1,000.

0:39:28 > 0:39:31How many people said Jamaica? Is it right?

0:39:33 > 0:39:34Oh!

0:39:35 > 0:39:41Bad luck. Jamaica is an incorrect answer, so not a pointless answer.

0:39:41 > 0:39:45You only have two more chances. Liz, what would you do with £1,000?

0:39:45 > 0:39:52Em, I'd probably go out for a nice meal tonight and then I'd go shopping tomorrow,

0:39:52 > 0:39:55- treat myself to something. - Very good. Jennie?

0:39:55 > 0:40:00Well, I'm not sure. It would be £500, wouldn't it, that's mine?

0:40:00 > 0:40:04- I think I'd have a weekend away. - Lovely. Lovely.

0:40:04 > 0:40:09Commonwealth nations that don't have Queen Elizabeth as Head of State.

0:40:09 > 0:40:15Let's hope nobody said New Zealand. It has to be pointless if you're to win that jackpot of £1,000.

0:40:15 > 0:40:18Let's see. How many people said New Zealand?

0:40:20 > 0:40:23No, bad luck!

0:40:23 > 0:40:29Also an incorrect answer. You only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

0:40:29 > 0:40:32Everything is riding on Zimbabwe.

0:40:32 > 0:40:36Commonwealth nations that do not have the Queen as Head of State.

0:40:36 > 0:40:42- Your most confident answer... - Liz's most confident answer. - That's not saying much!

0:40:42 > 0:40:45..was Zimbabwe. Again, this has to be pointless to win that jackpot.

0:40:45 > 0:40:50Let's see how many people said Zimbabwe.

0:40:52 > 0:40:55Oh! Bad luck! Bad luck!

0:40:55 > 0:40:57- Another incorrect answer. - APPLAUSE

0:41:01 > 0:41:08Unfortunately, you didn't find that pointless answer, but you do still take home our Pointless trophy.

0:41:13 > 0:41:20Yes, tough category. Jamaica and New Zealand, she's still Head of State. And Zimbabwe left the Commonwealth.

0:41:20 > 0:41:26- I knew Zimbabwe was wrong.- It's some of the African and Pacific nations where the pointless answers are.

0:41:26 > 0:41:33You mentioned South Africa. That would have scored 11 points. It wouldn't have won you the money.

0:41:33 > 0:41:37Let's look at some pointless answers. The usual suspects -

0:41:37 > 0:41:41Dominica, Kiribati - they've both got presidents,

0:41:41 > 0:41:45Lesotho, ruled by the King of Lesotho, would have won the money.

0:41:45 > 0:41:51Namibia, Nauru, both have presidents. Swaziland, ruled by the King of Swaziland.

0:41:51 > 0:41:57The Gambia, in Africa, the Maldives and Vanuatu, in the Pacific Ocean.

0:41:57 > 0:42:04- All of those would have won the money. Some proper usual suspects there - Vanuatu, Nauru.- Kiribati.

0:42:04 > 0:42:11- Yeah.- No Central African Republic, though.- No. But I should have said Lesotho. I'm sorry...

0:42:11 > 0:42:15- There we go! - You knew a few of those.

0:42:15 > 0:42:19But we're being kind. We're letting the money run over, you see.

0:42:19 > 0:42:23- There you are. Selfless to the last, Jennie.- Selfless to the last.

0:42:23 > 0:42:29Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye, Liz and Jennie. Thank you for playing.

0:42:29 > 0:42:31- Brilliant contestants. - CHEERING

0:42:34 > 0:42:41Liz and Jennie didn't win our jackpot so it rolls over and we'll be playing for £2,000.

0:42:43 > 0:42:48- Join us then. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.- Goodbye. - And goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:09 > 0:43:12Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd