Episode 2

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0:00:25 > 0:00:29Ah, uh, I am most awfully sorry, Your Majesty. The lift has jammed.

0:00:29 > 0:00:31Erm, don't worry, Your Majesty.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33It happens a lot around here. All perfectly normal.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35- What I'll do, I'll open the doors. - GRUNTS WITH EFFORT

0:00:35 > 0:00:37I'm going to climb down, and...

0:00:37 > 0:00:41then I'll get my agents to come back and fix it.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44We'll have you out in a jiffy, we'll carry on with your tour.

0:00:44 > 0:00:47And then, maybe, we can talk a bit more about that OBE, Your Majesty.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Thank you. Agent Gemma!

0:00:49 > 0:00:50Agent Gemma! Quick!

0:00:50 > 0:00:52- Yes, Richard! - Very important mission for you.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54It's of the utmost national security.

0:00:54 > 0:00:55Yes, Richard.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Erm...

0:00:57 > 0:00:59No, it's gone. Can't be anything important. Never mind.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01I never forget anything important.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Like I remember it's very important that I do not hit this button.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07ALARM SHRIEKS

0:01:08 > 0:01:10'Coming up on tonight's show...'

0:01:10 > 0:01:12WOMAN SCREAMS

0:01:14 > 0:01:18'Will this young trend-setter fool the art world into thinking

0:01:18 > 0:01:20'he's the next big thing?'

0:01:22 > 0:01:25'Can this smooth operator woo the girl of his dreams

0:01:25 > 0:01:27'in a bonkers blind date?'

0:01:27 > 0:01:28Will you marry me?

0:01:28 > 0:01:30Yes, I will! Oh, my God!

0:01:30 > 0:01:33'And will these shoppers still be smiling

0:01:33 > 0:01:38'when they find out they've starred in a ridiculously fake TV advert?'

0:01:43 > 0:01:46OK. Time for today's first mission.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48And it's one of these two buttons.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50Erm...

0:01:50 > 0:01:52I'm going to go for this one.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Er, nope.

0:01:56 > 0:01:57It's THIS one.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02A super trendy art gallery

0:02:02 > 0:02:04full of uber-cool modern art,

0:02:04 > 0:02:08including the majestic centrepiece of the entire exhibition...

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Please Put In Bin.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12It's not really art, it's just a load of old rubbish.

0:02:12 > 0:02:15Literally, more Turnip Prize than Turner.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18But it is the setting for another secret service mission.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21OK, we've set the scene,

0:02:21 > 0:02:23let's get the details.

0:02:24 > 0:02:28Me and my mates are always making fun of my friend Jason.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31He thinks that his good looks and boyish charm

0:02:31 > 0:02:32can get him out of any situation.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35And I want to prove he's not the blagger he thinks he is.

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Can you help me bring him back down to my level?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41So Jack has brought Jason - who's on the left -

0:02:41 > 0:02:43to the trendy art gallery.

0:02:43 > 0:02:47Jason thinks he's there to help out with a major new exhibition.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49We need to push the ultimate blagger to his limits

0:02:49 > 0:02:53and where better to do this than a highly pretentious art gallery

0:02:53 > 0:02:56where, ultimately, he'll be the one on display?

0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Hello. Who are you?- Jason. - Oh, hello, I'm Becky.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01- You'll be helping me out today. You all right?- Yeah, fine.

0:03:01 > 0:03:04Welcome. Um, so, I'll just talk you through the basics.

0:03:04 > 0:03:09So, basically, this bit is where we show, like, pictures and stuff.

0:03:09 > 0:03:10- Mm-hm.- It's called a gallery.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12So, that's the basics covered.

0:03:12 > 0:03:17So this is the stuff we're going to be showing off today?

0:03:17 > 0:03:18OK.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20And most of this art is worth more than my flat.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Seriously?

0:03:22 > 0:03:23Well, actually, all of it is.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27It's an artist called Sammm Gerrard. With three Ms.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29- OK.- Sammm...Gerrard.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Um, so, it's quite exciting.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34Do you like art? Are you into art at all?

0:03:34 > 0:03:35- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Who do you like?

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Um, I'm not, like, a big fan of art,

0:03:37 > 0:03:40- but, obviously I can appreciate what people do.- Yeah.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42I really like Damien Hirst.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45He did the one with the shark. You know that one?

0:03:45 > 0:03:46Is he well known?

0:03:46 > 0:03:48He's, yeah, really well known.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49Right, OK.

0:03:49 > 0:03:54- So who have you heard... Have you heard of anyone?- No, not, like, not this sort of art, no.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57- What about Neil Buchanan, Art Attack?- Yeah.

0:03:58 > 0:04:03So, Jason has heard of Art Attack, but not Damien Hirst.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05He's in big trouble.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07I'm just going to pop next door and get a coffee.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- What do you want me to do? - While I'm gone can you...

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Can you just clear away all the rubbish there.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Basically, the cleaning products go in a cupboard out the back,

0:04:16 > 0:04:18- and this, just put out the front for the bin man.- Right, cool.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Just put it out the front.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23I'll be two seconds, then we can chill till they get here.

0:04:23 > 0:04:28Tonight our gallery is showcasing a major modern artist

0:04:28 > 0:04:31and Jason has been told to tidy the place up.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33It does look a little barren in that one corner, though.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Is something missing?

0:04:36 > 0:04:41So using the handy catalogue, Jason diligently familiarises himself

0:04:41 > 0:04:42with each stunning piece of art.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Bless.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46(BECKY ON PHONE) Defin-ately!

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Erm, yep. All your work's here.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Looking forward to it, very much.

0:04:50 > 0:04:54TENSELY DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:04:55 > 0:05:00Uh-oh! What Jason's realised, is that what he thought was a load of old rubbish

0:05:00 > 0:05:03was, in fact, a ridiculously expensive piece of art called

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Please Put in Bin.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Which is exactly what he's done.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Oh, my God!

0:05:09 > 0:05:10What are we going to do?!

0:05:14 > 0:05:16I can't believe this.

0:05:16 > 0:05:22That's like... That's, like, valued at £200,000.

0:05:22 > 0:05:23Oh, my God!

0:05:24 > 0:05:29- Like, seriously, we're going to get done for theft or something.- Really?

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Thing is, I wasn't meant to leave you on your own.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38OK, listen, right, I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45Do you know what, that's not a bad idea!

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Well, it's a plan.

0:05:47 > 0:05:48Using the picture in the guide

0:05:48 > 0:05:50and a load of actual rubbish,

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Jason recreates the expensive art piece,

0:05:52 > 0:05:55and I think he's hoping nobody will notice.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59It looks good, honestly. You've just got to, like, trust yourself.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Feeling good? Game face?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05You look worried. Have a drink.

0:06:05 > 0:06:06I'm very worried.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11Yeah, and so you should be, because here comes the artist, Sammm.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15She's actually a Secret Service agent in a colourful disguise.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19But that doesn't mean she's not going to be completely bonkers.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Rather you than me, fella.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Hi, I'm Sammm.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25- What's your name?- Jason.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29Jason. I'm going to call you John. I'm calling everyone John today.

0:06:29 > 0:06:36- I think it symbolises the fact that we're all equal in art.- OK.- Yeah.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40- So, are you an artist, John? - No, but I do appreciate art.

0:06:40 > 0:06:45- Which is your favourite piece here? - I like Drag.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48- Oh, right.- I like the fact that you

0:06:48 > 0:06:52see the birds trying to escape.

0:06:52 > 0:06:57So, if this piece had a mouth and it could speak,

0:06:57 > 0:06:59what sound do you think it would make?

0:06:59 > 0:07:02Like a soft sort of like...

0:07:03 > 0:07:07- Go on, make it for me.- Brrr, brrr.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Do it again.- Brrr. - That's exactly what I had.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12- We're obviously really on the same wavelength.- That's good.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15I really like you, John.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Where is Please Put In Bin?

0:07:19 > 0:07:23Because that's the main shebang that everyone's here to see.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28I can see all of the others...

0:07:29 > 0:07:32Well, no. That's...

0:07:32 > 0:07:34I don't think so. That's just rubbish.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38No, I'd just like to know where it is, really.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43- That's definitely not it? - That's definitely not it.

0:07:43 > 0:07:47That's just a load of rubbish in a corner.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52And, you know, my piece took me almost three hours to create.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57- Oh, hi.- Hi, Sammm. Rebecca, hello.- Hi!

0:07:57 > 0:08:04- I'm so sorry, it accidentally got thrown away and we just...- What?

0:08:04 > 0:08:06What's happened to Please Put In Bin,

0:08:06 > 0:08:08because I'm getting rather het up.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12I don't know much about this, I've just been asked to come here today.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15And I don't know any of these people and they asked me

0:08:15 > 0:08:17to take out the trash.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19I just need a moment to myself, now.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23SAMMM SCREAMS

0:08:25 > 0:08:29- I think she took that pretty well. - Please Put In Bin!

0:08:29 > 0:08:31So, on Jason's first day in the art world,

0:08:31 > 0:08:35he's destroyed a piece of art thinking it was rubbish,

0:08:35 > 0:08:37tried to create his own masterpiece to replace it

0:08:37 > 0:08:40and pushed an artist to breaking point.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42SAMMM SCREAMS

0:08:42 > 0:08:45We'll come back later to see if our consummate blagger can convince

0:08:45 > 0:08:48a gallery full of critics that he's the next big thing in the art world.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50'Please welcome Excel.'

0:09:00 > 0:09:02When my agents have been out in the field, it is

0:09:02 > 0:09:06important they know they can return here, to a safe haven.

0:09:06 > 0:09:10So, this is just a normal office, maybe like the one you work in.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12This is just an ordinary computer.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16This, just an ordinary stapler.

0:09:18 > 0:09:23This, just an ordinary umbrella for keeping the rain off. Nothing more.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24DART SHOOTS

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Right, time for the next mission.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36This chap clearly looks concerned about something. Fear not, friend.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Help is at hand.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40My mate, Legzy,

0:09:40 > 0:09:41thinks he's God's gift.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43There's literally nothing he

0:09:43 > 0:09:45wouldn't do for a good-looking woman.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48His Achilles' heel? American girls.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52He's such an easy target, you just can't miss.

0:09:52 > 0:09:53- AMERICAN WOMAN:- Hi! Are you Legzy?

0:09:53 > 0:09:57Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Liberty. How are you?

0:09:57 > 0:10:01A cosy restaurant, the perfect setting for a blind date

0:10:01 > 0:10:03and a romantic dinner for two.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06And we set Legzy up with his Achilles heel,

0:10:06 > 0:10:10special agent Liberty, a pretty, vivacious, American femme fatale.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12..just keeping my options open...

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Let's find out just how far this lady's man will

0:10:15 > 0:10:17go for a pretty girl.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20We're sat right in the middle.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Yeah, it's the best table!

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Don't you like being in the middle?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27I've never been to a restaurant where I'm sat in the middle.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29- Really?- Everyone's all around us.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34Small talk over, Liberty starts to hot things up, Italian style.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37I love anything Italian, the sophistication.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Even the language. You know how the language kind of flows.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Can you speak any Italian?

0:10:42 > 0:10:43- Nothing.- None at all?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47OK, speak a little French.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Just basic. I'm sure it will. Just say whatever.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Oh my God! That's amazing.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57What does that mean?

0:10:57 > 0:10:58It means my name's Legala,

0:10:58 > 0:11:00how are you?

0:11:00 > 0:11:01Oh, my God. I love it.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Could you describe me in French.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Maybe give me a compliment in French.

0:11:10 > 0:11:11What does that mean?

0:11:13 > 0:11:15I'm fit?

0:11:15 > 0:11:17Oh, that's awesome! That's so funny.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Ah, French, the language of love.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29So, what's next?

0:11:29 > 0:11:31In London, they have this thing called raproake,

0:11:31 > 0:11:32and there's a stage and

0:11:32 > 0:11:34you go up and you freestyle.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36And I went there last week, OK?

0:11:36 > 0:11:37No plans to rap.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39But I got so into it.

0:11:39 > 0:11:40I got up there and

0:11:40 > 0:11:41I made up a rap.

0:11:41 > 0:11:43- Will you wrap with me?- No.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46- Sing a little rap. Sing a little rap.- Seriously...- What?

0:11:50 > 0:11:52So I'm going BIG.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55# So all the ladies in the place With style and grace

0:11:55 > 0:11:57# Allow me to lace these lyrical dishes in your dishes

0:11:57 > 0:12:00# Who's got moves and make moves With all the mommas

0:12:00 > 0:12:01# The back of the truck

0:12:01 > 0:12:04# Sippin' Moet Is where you'll find me. #

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Boom! High five.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10I feel such a vibe between us.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13Don't you? Can we just do one more?

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Can we do Gangster's Paradise?

0:12:19 > 0:12:20How am I not married?

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Are you proposing?

0:12:28 > 0:12:29Well, I've got a ring right now.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32If you get on one knee and propose in a French accent,

0:12:32 > 0:12:33I will say yes.

0:12:33 > 0:12:34Are you kidding me?

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Come on, do it. French accent, on one knee,

0:12:36 > 0:12:38I will say yes. Let's do it.

0:12:38 > 0:12:39- Can you do me a favour?- What?

0:12:45 > 0:12:46- LIBERTY:- Hell, yes!

0:12:48 > 0:12:51So, here's the deal. We don't know where this might go.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Let's say, in the future, it does go somewhere good.

0:12:53 > 0:12:54Wouldn't it be funny to say

0:12:54 > 0:12:56on our first date

0:12:56 > 0:12:57that you actually proposed.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06- LIBERTY:- This is like a real relationship in five minutes. I'm loving it.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Legzy, Legzy! Do not fall in love with the Secret Service agent.

0:13:13 > 0:13:14Do not... Too late, I think he is.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Recently, in New York and LA, all of the guys,

0:13:17 > 0:13:18like, rock stars - Rod Stewart's

0:13:18 > 0:13:21been seen on with it, loads of people.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24Little dots above the eye of eyeliner.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Cannot see it,

0:13:26 > 0:13:27but it just goes bam

0:13:27 > 0:13:28it brings out your eyes. Actually...

0:13:31 > 0:13:32No, no. Let me see.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Do I have it?

0:13:37 > 0:13:38I've got it, it's special.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40- What are you doing? - I'm going to show you.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45No, no it's clear. Shut your eyes.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51It feels nice, doesn't it?

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- Kind of like a massage.- Oh, my God.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Special agent Liberty, pushing things as far as she can,

0:13:57 > 0:14:01but she's not alone. We sent her in with backup -

0:14:01 > 0:14:02everybody else in the room.

0:14:02 > 0:14:04they're all agents.

0:14:04 > 0:14:05Your eyes are just popping.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08Excuse me, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Are his eyes not just popping?

0:14:10 > 0:14:11Are they not beautiful?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14- They look really nice. - She's just put make-up on me.

0:14:14 > 0:14:15- Really?- You can barely tell.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18It's going to blend in. It kind of blends, a bit.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21- It looks good, mate. - Sorry about that.- It's no problem.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25Sorry to interrupt. Sorry. Did I embarrass you?

0:14:25 > 0:14:26- Oh, my word.- I'm so sorry.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28It's out of order. Oh, my God.

0:14:28 > 0:14:29I'll take a photo. Want a photo?

0:14:29 > 0:14:30I'll take a photo for you.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32I'm so sorry to bother you again,

0:14:32 > 0:14:34can you just take a picture of us?

0:14:34 > 0:14:37I'm so sorry. It's the last time we'll interrupt you. Sorry.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39- Just a quick photo.- Sorry, mate. - Sorry.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41It's not a problem. It's fine.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45I love your beard, as well.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48- Just going to do a little trim. - What are you doing?

0:14:48 > 0:14:50- Just at the front. - What are you doing?

0:14:50 > 0:14:52You've got a little excess just on the side.

0:14:52 > 0:14:53- Oh, my word.- Just one.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Just one or two, OK. I'm trained.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57I can't believe you're doing this.

0:14:57 > 0:15:01- Oh my God.- Do you ever put wax in your beard?- No.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04- It's really good. - What are you doing?- It's really good.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Are you actually doing this?

0:15:07 > 0:15:09- Serious?- Seriously. - What are you doing?

0:15:09 > 0:15:11- Do you like a massage?- Oh, my God.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Do you like a good massage?

0:15:13 > 0:15:14Are you actually doing this?

0:15:14 > 0:15:16He's going with it. He's going with this.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18I'm actually doing this.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21- Really, where does it end for this man?- You're so warm.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24We set out to prove there's nothing Legzy wouldn't do for

0:15:24 > 0:15:25a beautiful woman, and I have to say

0:15:25 > 0:15:27it's looking pretty convincing so far.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Thank you so much!

0:15:30 > 0:15:32- Oh, my God. - I'm so into beards right now.

0:15:32 > 0:15:34- Oh, my God.- So into beards.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Do you work out a lot?

0:15:36 > 0:15:37Cos your arms are like ripped

0:15:37 > 0:15:40and I can tell that you have nice pecs even through your shirt.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Oh, my God. I love press-ups.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47I do them every morning. I do 30.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49How many can you do?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Don't, don't. Don't do it.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57I won't do them, but I need to see you can do them.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00Let's get down and do push-ups. Let's do it. Come on.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Are you going to do with me?

0:16:01 > 0:16:03I don't want to be left on my own.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Yeah, we're doing it.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Don't look at them. Let's go.

0:16:07 > 0:16:08- Excuse me.- What are you doing?

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Would you guys like to see him do ten push-ups.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13I think that would be pretty funny.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20- I can't believe this.- Let's hit this. Come on, please. Ten.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Come on, everybody! Let's do clap support.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27Everybody's getting involved. It's fun!

0:16:27 > 0:16:29It's fun. Seize the day!

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Ready? And...

0:16:34 > 0:16:38ALL: One, two, three, four,

0:16:38 > 0:16:41five, six, seven, eight,

0:16:41 > 0:16:43nine, ten.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46PEOPLE CHEER

0:16:49 > 0:16:52I can't believe this! What have you done to me?

0:16:52 > 0:16:53Thank you.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Seriously, I love this.

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Best dinner date ever, right?

0:17:14 > 0:17:15You propose to me,

0:17:15 > 0:17:17cos now I'm like, "Aaargh!"

0:17:17 > 0:17:19all revved up, cos I want to get this proposal.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22- Once you propose, I will calm down and be normal. Seriously.- No, no.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Propose! Just do it.

0:17:24 > 0:17:26He's going to propose, everyone!

0:17:27 > 0:17:31Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Come on, everyone's waiting!

0:17:33 > 0:17:37This is wonderful. I think he is going to do it.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40There really is nothing Legzy won't do to keep his girl happy,

0:17:40 > 0:17:41or shut her up.

0:17:46 > 0:17:47That's OK.

0:17:52 > 0:17:53Oh, my God!

0:17:53 > 0:17:56Liberty Cooper, will you marry me?

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Yes, I will! Oh, my God!

0:17:58 > 0:18:01There you go. He did it all the way.

0:18:01 > 0:18:04- What a guy.- Oh, my God! I'm engaged!

0:18:04 > 0:18:08Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

0:18:08 > 0:18:09My husband.

0:18:16 > 0:18:17And there's no length, Legzy,

0:18:17 > 0:18:20that the Secret Service won't go to to get their man.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24Enter best mate Lev to douse the flames of love.

0:18:24 > 0:18:25Waiter!

0:18:25 > 0:18:26Oh, my God. What are you doing?

0:18:26 > 0:18:29You're on Richard Hammond's Secret Service on the BBC!

0:18:29 > 0:18:31Oh, my God!

0:18:33 > 0:18:36APPLAUSE

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Oh, my God!

0:18:40 > 0:18:43LIBERTY LAUGHS

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Oh, my God!

0:18:47 > 0:18:50Liberty, sa c'est bon ca?

0:18:50 > 0:18:53Smooth operator Legzy couldn't believe his luck with this

0:18:53 > 0:18:58blind date, but it soon turned into something he really wasn't expecting

0:18:58 > 0:19:02and he couldn't help falling for Liberty, literally.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Liberty Cooper will you marry me?

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Yes, I will! Oh, my God!

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Oh, my God!

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- What have you got to say, Legzy? - I've got nothing to say.

0:19:14 > 0:19:15Look at the camera there, tell them.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18I haven't got anything to say. What can I say?

0:19:20 > 0:19:221,001.

0:19:22 > 0:19:231,002.

0:19:23 > 0:19:251,003. You know what,

0:19:25 > 0:19:26I think I'll leave it at that.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Not one to show off.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Right, time now to return to Jason.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32If you remember, he thought he was

0:19:32 > 0:19:34helping out in a modern art gallery,

0:19:34 > 0:19:35only to accidentally throw away

0:19:35 > 0:19:38a bin full of rubbish worth a lot of money.

0:19:38 > 0:19:39Time to see if artist Sammm,

0:19:39 > 0:19:43with three M's, has come to terms with what happened.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47SAMMM SCREAMS

0:19:47 > 0:19:49That's a no, then.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51I'm OK. I'm fine.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54It's just that was a very important piece to me.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59What made you choose this egg box here? Why did you put it there?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Cos that's how it was on the picture.

0:20:03 > 0:20:08- Right.- I tried to recreate it, as much as I could, compared to that.

0:20:08 > 0:20:13- Oh, you used me as inspiration. - Yeah.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15What about this piece here?

0:20:15 > 0:20:19- I couldn't find anywhere else to put it.- Interesting.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22I don't think he's even realised

0:20:22 > 0:20:24the brilliance of what he's created.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27It's clear to me that you, John,

0:20:27 > 0:20:31are far and away the biggest

0:20:31 > 0:20:36and most obvious genius of our time.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38That's rubbish.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40It is, and it's brilliant!

0:20:40 > 0:20:43John, you don't realise.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46So, Sammm thinks John, I mean, Jason,

0:20:46 > 0:20:48has got real artistic talent.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Let's send in the gallery boss...

0:20:52 > 0:20:54..just to mix things up a bit.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Why did you put it in the bin?

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Because she asked me to.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01If she asked you to jump off a bridge, would you do that?

0:21:01 > 0:21:04I don't understand why you put it in the bin.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Can you explain it to me?

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Please, imagine that I'm stupid.

0:21:09 > 0:21:10I've told you.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12I've told you countless times.

0:21:12 > 0:21:16She told me to put the trash in the trash, so I did.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18So you thought it was trash?

0:21:18 > 0:21:20It says please put in the bin.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23This is a gallery. We have artworks.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25We have the names of artworks.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28That is how this works.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31- I just can't compete with this. - What do you mean?

0:21:31 > 0:21:33He's not aggressive or anything, is he?

0:21:33 > 0:21:36I'm finished! Have you seen what he's created?

0:21:36 > 0:21:37Have a look.

0:21:43 > 0:21:44- It is striking.- Yes.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47SAMMM CRIES

0:21:49 > 0:21:52In fact, it's brilliant.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54I'm over!

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Sammm...

0:21:57 > 0:22:00I can't compete with this genius!

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Let me just touch his genius one last time.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Right! I'm spent, I'm going!

0:22:08 > 0:22:12So, thanks to Jason, the gallery has not only lost its artist,

0:22:12 > 0:22:15but also the star exhibit, just 30 minutes before the doors open

0:22:15 > 0:22:18to a host of VIPs from the art world.

0:22:18 > 0:22:23- What do you think we should do? - About this?- About tonight.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28- Just leave it how it is. - And say what?

0:22:29 > 0:22:30And...

0:22:33 > 0:22:35I don't know. Keep it as mine.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Keep it as yours?

0:22:37 > 0:22:39If you're saying that I've put my touch on it

0:22:39 > 0:22:41and it isn't hers anymore, just say it's mine.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43I would love to say that it is your work.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Well, if that's the way you're going to get through it,

0:22:46 > 0:22:49then I'm OK with that.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53I think there's a little idea brewing, here.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55We do tonight as we said we would do it

0:22:55 > 0:22:58and then I need to let them know

0:22:58 > 0:23:02that in fact tonight is a launch, that we have a new artist.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- Someone they've never heard of. - OK, yeah.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08You happy with that? Can you do that?

0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Yeah, I can do that.- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Come on, talk to me.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Where are you from?- Norwich.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17No, wrong. Start again.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22- Where are you from?- Brighton.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25- Urban.- London.- London, where?

0:23:25 > 0:23:28- Hackney?- Hackney! Your name is...

0:23:28 > 0:23:31- Jason.- Can't be Jason, needs to be an artist's name.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Excel.- Excel. Yeah?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Excel.- Where are you from?

0:23:37 > 0:23:40- Hackney.- We're getting somewhere! What's this piece?

0:23:40 > 0:23:41Throwing Away Your Troubles.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44Throwing Away Your Troubles. That's what it's called.

0:23:44 > 0:23:48So, Jason became John and has now become Excel,

0:23:48 > 0:23:50an exciting new modern artist

0:23:50 > 0:23:53who just threw some rubbish in a bin. Genius!

0:23:53 > 0:23:56He now believes he's about to exhibit

0:23:56 > 0:23:58to a gallery full of art critics.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen,

0:24:02 > 0:24:05please welcome Excel!

0:24:05 > 0:24:09APPLAUSE

0:24:14 > 0:24:17Excel will now tell you a little bit about himself, his history

0:24:17 > 0:24:19and the history of this fantastic piece.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23Let's just remember, Jason started the day with a bit of tidying up

0:24:23 > 0:24:27and now he's about to explain the meaning of a bin full of rubbish

0:24:27 > 0:24:29to a gallery full of critics.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31This piece sort of gives me...

0:24:32 > 0:24:34..joy to sort of make this

0:24:34 > 0:24:37and throw away everything bad in my life.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40So, as you can see, there's eggs,

0:24:40 > 0:24:43there's coffees, there's biscuits.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46All bad food and it's basically

0:24:46 > 0:24:48getting rid of everything bad in my life.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50So, that's it.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Thank you very much, Excel.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56APPLAUSE

0:24:58 > 0:25:00- MAN:- So, what inspires you?

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Umm...

0:25:03 > 0:25:06Umm...

0:25:06 > 0:25:07Nothing...

0:25:08 > 0:25:10- ..inspires me.- Wow!

0:25:10 > 0:25:12Is anyone else thinking they'll look at

0:25:12 > 0:25:15the world of modern art differently after this?

0:25:15 > 0:25:17We're lucky enough that, in a moment,

0:25:17 > 0:25:21Excel is going to perform a piece of art onto a canvas.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by PSY

0:25:26 > 0:25:28# Gangnam style

0:25:31 > 0:25:33# Gangnam Style... #

0:25:35 > 0:25:37APPLAUSE

0:25:37 > 0:25:40What a performance! What style. What a mess.

0:25:40 > 0:25:44The art world love him, but the show's not over.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Time for Jason to become an art installation in his own right.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50There is one person, though, who's not as impressed.

0:25:50 > 0:25:53It's his best friend, Jack.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Absolutely rubbish!

0:25:56 > 0:25:59LAUGHTER

0:26:03 > 0:26:05APPLAUSE

0:26:10 > 0:26:14Trendy Jason was told to tidy up and he did.

0:26:14 > 0:26:18How was he to know that what he put in bin was in fact art.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22- But, he bluffed like a pro. - That's rubbish!

0:26:22 > 0:26:24SAMMM SCREAMS

0:26:24 > 0:26:29And then discovered that he was the next big rising star

0:26:29 > 0:26:30of the modern art world.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33APPLAUSE

0:26:37 > 0:26:41Now, what I have here is an incredible new device

0:26:41 > 0:26:43that allows you to actually hear

0:26:43 > 0:26:45the thoughts of anyone who wears it.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47The brain scanner.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50Might be used for interrogating spies

0:26:50 > 0:26:52and draining pasta.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54Right, let's see if it works.

0:26:57 > 0:26:58MACHINE BEEPS

0:26:58 > 0:27:01'Mmm, pasta. Oh, hang on.

0:27:01 > 0:27:02'It's me! It works!

0:27:02 > 0:27:04'That means everyone can hear what I'm thinking.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07'Right, come on, think clever thoughts.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09'I like big books.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12'Really difficult ones with no pictures.'

0:27:12 > 0:27:14LAUGHTER

0:27:14 > 0:27:17WIND HOWLS

0:27:22 > 0:27:25CHICKENS CLUCK

0:27:25 > 0:27:28'Is someone else in here with me? Hello?

0:27:28 > 0:27:30'I'm going to take this off now.'

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Doesn't work. I think it's broken.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Part of our remit, here, is security.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Really, you have no idea how much safer the nation is

0:27:37 > 0:27:40with my agents out there on the street.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43You wouldn't believe what some people

0:27:43 > 0:27:46carry around with them on the streets of Britain.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48In fact, they might not believe it either.

0:27:48 > 0:27:52Luckily, we've got a brand-new piece of kit that can detect, well,

0:27:52 > 0:27:54whatever we tell it to detect.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57MACHINE BEEPS

0:27:57 > 0:28:00OK, just stand here.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02MACHINE BEEPS

0:28:03 > 0:28:05MACHINE BEEPS

0:28:05 > 0:28:07Looking good, looking good.

0:28:07 > 0:28:09Looking good, looking good. Fantastic.

0:28:09 > 0:28:11Were you aware of any metal item?

0:28:11 > 0:28:14- Quite a suspicious-looking hat. Nothing to hide under the hat? - No.- No.

0:28:14 > 0:28:17Do you mind if my colleague takes a look in your basket.

0:28:17 > 0:28:19If you don't mind, sir, that would be great.

0:28:19 > 0:28:20I'll tell you what's in there.

0:28:20 > 0:28:22There is a steak and kidney pie and some shallots.

0:28:23 > 0:28:27HE LAUGHS

0:28:27 > 0:28:30- Oh, hello, what's this?- OK.

0:28:30 > 0:28:33- It's one of those again, is it? - Any knowledge of that?- No.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35- Did you pack your bag today?- Yes.- OK.

0:28:37 > 0:28:39HE LAUGHS

0:28:39 > 0:28:42- OK, what's your first name? - Paul.- Paul.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44Paul, sounds like pool. Is your surname shark?

0:28:44 > 0:28:46Yes, that's the one.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48- Paul Shark.- Paul Shark.

0:28:48 > 0:28:50I don't want to be rude, but that's a give-away.

0:28:50 > 0:28:51HE LAUGHS

0:28:51 > 0:28:54Did you ever consider being a pool shark?

0:28:54 > 0:28:59I'd consider it, but I'd only do it to people I didn't like.

0:28:59 > 0:29:01- Is that illegal?- Yes.

0:29:02 > 0:29:05You don't mind if I have a look in your back pocket, please, sir?

0:29:05 > 0:29:08- I'll take these lottery tickets. - OK, all right.

0:29:08 > 0:29:12- So these just came out of your back pocket, have they?- The side.

0:29:12 > 0:29:18- Oh, in the side pocket, OK. Is that yours?- I don't recognise that.

0:29:18 > 0:29:20Where did you get that from? My back pocket?

0:29:20 > 0:29:22That was in your right back pocket.

0:29:22 > 0:29:26- We've got a chemical here that we can spray on these.- Thank you.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28What the gang do, believe it or not...

0:29:28 > 0:29:31- OK, there's quite a bit there.- OK.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37- I'll just give it to you, Kev.- OK.

0:29:37 > 0:29:41With money-laundering, what we often find is innocent-looking bits of paper can...

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Oh, look, there we go.

0:29:43 > 0:29:47- Bingo.- You've got no knowledge of that?- I'm not sure what's going on here.

0:29:47 > 0:29:52- We'll have to hold on to those. - No, no, no. You're not having that.

0:29:52 > 0:29:54- Are you saying this is yours? - It is mine. I gave it to him.

0:29:54 > 0:29:58- You gave him the money?- He allegedly took it from my side pocket.

0:29:58 > 0:30:00- That's where you keep the money? - No, I keep it in my wallet.

0:30:00 > 0:30:04- But you're saying that money is also yours.- Yes. No, it isn't.

0:30:04 > 0:30:05- It isn't yours?- No.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08COW MOOS

0:30:10 > 0:30:14Can we just...excuse me. Have you got any dairy products on you?

0:30:14 > 0:30:17APPLAUSE

0:30:17 > 0:30:20Right, now we must move on to our next mission.

0:30:20 > 0:30:23- BLEEPING - Oh! Sorry.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27Now we must move on to our next mission.

0:30:27 > 0:30:31- BLEEPING - What?! I haven't got... Oh, all right.

0:30:34 > 0:30:35It's a collectors item.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39Now, we can move on to...

0:30:39 > 0:30:42- BLEEPING - Oh, please! I haven't got...

0:30:42 > 0:30:44BLEEPING

0:30:45 > 0:30:46BLEEPING

0:30:52 > 0:30:53BLEEPING

0:31:00 > 0:31:02BLEEPING

0:31:03 > 0:31:05BLEEPING

0:31:05 > 0:31:09Um...guys, I think we might have to move my desk.

0:31:11 > 0:31:13Right, on with the next mission.

0:31:13 > 0:31:17The Secret Service fake ad company is in town,

0:31:17 > 0:31:20complete with cameras, lights, lovable director.

0:31:20 > 0:31:23Get me a decaf skinny latte served in an upside-down wigwam.

0:31:23 > 0:31:25Stat. Action!

0:31:25 > 0:31:28And very smiley presenter.

0:31:29 > 0:31:32They need to find someone who will lie through their teeth

0:31:32 > 0:31:35and through some fake teeth to take part in a TV ad

0:31:35 > 0:31:40for a revolutionary, fake teeth whitening product, Diamond Grin 3000.

0:31:41 > 0:31:46All we need now are some willing guinea pigs, I mean future stars.

0:31:46 > 0:31:49Is that sugar-free? Oh, dear!

0:31:49 > 0:31:53We don't want to use the treatment in public because it's quite painful.

0:31:54 > 0:31:57- Have you done any telly before?- No.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59I didn't want to direct commercials, I wanted to do films.

0:31:59 > 0:32:01But it didn't work out.

0:32:01 > 0:32:04- You've done some films. - Yeah, they've all been rubbish.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06It's true, they all came back very badly.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09You've got good teeth for this commercial.

0:32:09 > 0:32:12They are not that good, I just brushed them, that's why.

0:32:12 > 0:32:16- You brushed them?- Yes, in the morning.- That's the best time.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18If you just have a seat for me, that would be great.

0:32:18 > 0:32:22- Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then we'll begin.- Action.

0:32:22 > 0:32:24Diamond Grin uses a patented technique

0:32:24 > 0:32:27which bleaches your teeth using bleach.

0:32:27 > 0:32:32But don't worry, our independent tests have proved that it is 80% safe,

0:32:32 > 0:32:36with fewer and fewer fatalities every month.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39Does your smile turn off women and frighten children,

0:32:39 > 0:32:42like this man's?

0:32:44 > 0:32:47- Well, that's not going to work. - That's not going to work, is it?

0:32:47 > 0:32:49- She's got nice teeth. - Got a nice teeth.

0:32:49 > 0:32:52If we put a little bit of chocolate sauce, it will make them

0:32:52 > 0:32:54- look a bit bad, is that all right? - That's fun.

0:32:54 > 0:32:56We'll use prosthetics. We'll have to.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59Do you mind, you just slot them in.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02- They're clean.- Pop some on your finger.

0:33:02 > 0:33:07Then just rub it into your teeth. Don't lick it all down. That's it.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10- OK?- Yes.

0:33:11 > 0:33:13Yes, like that, perfect.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16Oh, my God, they look hideous! Perfect.

0:33:16 > 0:33:21With our BAFTA-repelling make-up and prosthetics applied,

0:33:21 > 0:33:24our volunteers are ready for their screen test.

0:33:24 > 0:33:27If you've got disgusting teeth like me, you could just have them

0:33:27 > 0:33:30surgically removed and eat your food through a straw.

0:33:30 > 0:33:33Or you could try new Diamond Grin whitening gel.

0:33:33 > 0:33:38Women shun me and children fear me - why? Because of these.

0:33:38 > 0:33:41- Well, some breathtaking performances.- Cut.

0:33:41 > 0:33:42Brilliant, you are natural.

0:33:42 > 0:33:44But with only one role up for grabs,

0:33:44 > 0:33:48the team have chosen a clear favourite. World, meet Osman.

0:33:48 > 0:33:49Osman, meet the world.

0:33:49 > 0:33:54At the end, just look as sad as you possibly can with what's happening.

0:33:54 > 0:33:56Like a self-conscious smile, like...

0:33:58 > 0:33:59And action.

0:33:59 > 0:34:03My teeth are so bad I even talk with my mouth closed.

0:34:03 > 0:34:05As sad as you can.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10Like you are going to cry sort of thing.

0:34:10 > 0:34:12You can even put your hands to your face.

0:34:14 > 0:34:17How does it make you feel, having teeth like that?

0:34:17 > 0:34:21Horrible, I don't want no-one to see my teeth.

0:34:22 > 0:34:25They are so horrible, I don't like them.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27That's why we are here with Diamond Grin.

0:34:27 > 0:34:32You never have to hide your embarrassing, ugly smile again.

0:34:32 > 0:34:34Don't look at me.

0:34:34 > 0:34:38- I'm horrible.- I'm horrible, I look hideous.

0:34:38 > 0:34:40Don't.

0:34:40 > 0:34:43Oh, I think I might cry. No, I'm OK, I'm not going to cry.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46- Cut.- Brilliant.- Excellent, well done.- Great.

0:34:46 > 0:34:50Young Osman there, a clear front runner in this year's Oscar

0:34:50 > 0:34:54for best man in a shopping centre pretending to have bad teeth for an advert.

0:34:55 > 0:34:59- That was brilliant, have you been to drama school?- No.- That was amazing.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02Apparently, the whitening process takes 12 months.

0:35:02 > 0:35:06But how are they going to show this length of time in a fake ad?

0:35:06 > 0:35:09We'll do that in front of the green screen, like the Star Wars movies.

0:35:09 > 0:35:13Just like Star Wars, no expense spared. High-end stuff.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18Those creative types, it is inspiring to see them at work -

0:35:18 > 0:35:21the long hair and beard to show the passage of time.

0:35:21 > 0:35:25Well, extreme hair growth is one of the side effects of the treatment.

0:35:25 > 0:35:29- We're going back in time now. - It's backwards actually, sorry.

0:35:31 > 0:35:35There, you see, the magic of the movies, without the magic.

0:35:35 > 0:35:37And in Uxbridge shopping centre.

0:35:37 > 0:35:40# It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... #

0:35:40 > 0:35:42And then stop there, we're on August. Stop on August.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44Well done. Brilliant.

0:35:44 > 0:35:47OK, we've seen the before and witnessed, I presume,

0:35:47 > 0:35:50what's meant to be the during, now it's time for the after

0:35:50 > 0:35:53emerge like a toothy butterfly from a chrysalis.

0:35:53 > 0:35:55Let's see those pearly whites.

0:35:55 > 0:35:57- And action.- Off you go.

0:36:13 > 0:36:16And now, an important message from our sponsor.

0:36:24 > 0:36:25Wait. If you listen carefully,

0:36:25 > 0:36:28you can just about hear a penny dropping.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:36:33 > 0:36:36APPLAUSE

0:36:36 > 0:36:37I thought it was a bit bad.

0:36:39 > 0:36:42Time then for the grand premiere of the finished ad.

0:36:44 > 0:36:47Does your smile turn off women and frighten children,

0:36:47 > 0:36:49like this man?

0:36:49 > 0:36:52And is it harming your career prospects?

0:36:52 > 0:36:56I'm afraid I can't give you the job. It's because of your teeth!

0:36:59 > 0:37:02As you can see, my teeth are beyond disgusting.

0:37:02 > 0:37:03SCREAMING

0:37:03 > 0:37:08If only there was some way to fix the hideous disasters in my mouth.

0:37:08 > 0:37:12Well, young man, there is - Diamond Grin 3000.

0:37:12 > 0:37:17And if you have 12 whole months to waste - that's 365 days to you and me -

0:37:17 > 0:37:19then call this fake number now.

0:37:19 > 0:37:21Have your teeth treated with Diamond Grin.

0:37:21 > 0:37:26You never need to hide your ugly teeth in embarrassment ever again.

0:37:34 > 0:37:39I'm delighted to say that you've got the job. It's because of your teeth!

0:37:39 > 0:37:42Diamond Grin 3000. Terms and conditions apply.

0:37:49 > 0:37:51APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:37:51 > 0:37:54I think it's safe to say that this agency has, once again,

0:37:54 > 0:37:57completed all its top secret missions with aplomb.

0:37:57 > 0:37:59But what have we learned?

0:37:59 > 0:38:04Well, that sometimes modern art is actually rubbish, on purpose.

0:38:04 > 0:38:08That some men will do anything for love. And I do mean anything.

0:38:08 > 0:38:12And that there is no such thing as the perfect smile.

0:38:12 > 0:38:13Or is there?

0:38:16 > 0:38:18No, there isn't, the case is closed.

0:38:18 > 0:38:21There is just one last thing though, ladies and gentlemen.

0:38:21 > 0:38:25Please, a massive round of applause for the real stars of the show.

0:38:25 > 0:38:28APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:38:38 > 0:38:41Until next time, citizens, goodbye.

0:38:56 > 0:38:59Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd