0:00:25 > 0:00:28Excuse the parachute, I have just finished
0:00:28 > 0:00:31a very dangerous basejumping mission in Stevenage.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Hello, and welcome to my Secret Service.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Now, we're going to ask for help with all sorts of problems here,
0:00:36 > 0:00:40everything from a cat stuck up a tree to a kidnapped president.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43This week has been no different, we have been very busy.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45I'd love to tell you more but I can't reach the button.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Can somebody at least push the button I'm not supposed to push?
0:00:48 > 0:00:53Displaying secret files. Coming up on tonight's show:
0:00:54 > 0:00:57The first day on any job can be tough,
0:00:57 > 0:01:00but especially when it's as a wedding planner at a secret service marriage.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04- She said I could have one!- I didn't say she could have one.- You did!
0:01:05 > 0:01:08What has happened?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Being stuck in a lift has a very strange effect on this young lady.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13SHE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:01:18 > 0:01:22And what happens when a fake history show excavates your entire garden?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Who has let you in here?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I need to know this now, because otherwise you can get off my garden.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Look what they've done to my garden! I'm going to go mental.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32HE BELLOWS
0:01:36 > 0:01:39APPLAUSE
0:01:39 > 0:01:41It is time for today's first mission,
0:01:41 > 0:01:43which should be arriving any time now.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Right, thank you.
0:01:47 > 0:01:48And that mission is...
0:01:48 > 0:01:52"Dear Secret Service," good start, polite. I like it.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55"My niece, Chelsea, always expects things to fall into place.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59"She has no idea that we plan everything for her.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02"Please help her to realise that making things run smoothly
0:02:02 > 0:02:04"isn't as easy as it seems.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06"Yours, Donna."
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Well, Donna, you're in luck.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Because we are the masters of making things go wrong. Oh, not again!
0:02:14 > 0:02:16A grand country house,
0:02:16 > 0:02:20on a beautiful day. The perfect venue for the perfect occasion.
0:02:20 > 0:02:25A wedding...with a difference. It's teeming with Secret Service agents!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28They're here because Donna, an event manager from Coventry,
0:02:28 > 0:02:32has asked her unsuspecting niece, Chelsea, to be a wedding
0:02:32 > 0:02:36planner's assistant, helping ensure the bride has the day of her dreams.
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Chelsea! That is my favourite part of town!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43That's so great I'll bring you downstairs,
0:02:43 > 0:02:47you stay here, we can't leave this room unattended. Now, Donna...
0:02:47 > 0:02:52What Chelsea doesn't know is that Aunt Donna has set the whole
0:02:52 > 0:02:55thing up to make sure Chelsea has a total nightmare.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59The actual ceremony itself will be blissfully quick, because, I don't
0:02:59 > 0:03:01know about you, but don't you just hate it
0:03:01 > 0:03:04when people are going on and on and on about how much...
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Oh, God, "I love you, I love you!" And all that rubbish!
0:03:06 > 0:03:11So as Chelsea is used to being the one who gets looked after,
0:03:11 > 0:03:14how will she cope when the biggest day in someone else's life
0:03:14 > 0:03:16rests in her hands?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19She wanted certain flowers, you know, the bride has her requests.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22I couldn't get them, because they are not in season.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Like, even God cannot bring these flowers for her now!
0:03:24 > 0:03:28So I got these - they look virtually the same, she won't realise.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Right...- So if she asks, you just show her the flowers and smile.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Remember, everyone at the house is in on the act -
0:03:34 > 0:03:38time for Chelsea to meet the blushing bride, the stylist and
0:03:38 > 0:03:41the best man who is documenting the big day on a camcorder.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Oh, they look wonderful!
0:03:44 > 0:03:47But will the blooming bride notice that her blooming flowers
0:03:47 > 0:03:50aren't the right blooming flowers?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51I don't remember these ones, though.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Oh, dear. - Are these the ones I ordered?
0:03:53 > 0:03:56He did say they were, yeah, they were the ones you ordered.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58OK, it's just sometimes I get...
0:03:58 > 0:04:00We chose them quite carefully
0:04:00 > 0:04:03because I get allergies sometimes, but they are so nice!
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Oh, I'm so excited!
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Should we go and carry on?
0:04:11 > 0:04:15So far so good, on this special day. The bride is happy
0:04:15 > 0:04:19and now Chelsea is giving the coach driver bullet-proof directions
0:04:19 > 0:04:22to ensure all the guests arrive on time.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24'Sorry, I didn't get that, what road?'
0:04:24 > 0:04:29It says take your first left into Catford Road on the A2...
0:04:29 > 0:04:32- 'This isn't making any sense!'- I'm just reading the instructions, sorry!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- 'Hang on. I'm going into a tunnel.' - Hello?
0:04:36 > 0:04:41I don't think the guests will be arriving any time soon.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46Oh, my God. I think I've had an allergic reaction to the flowers!
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- Let's have a look.- Look! Don't with the camera!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Can you see it? Is it obvious?- Uh, no!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55If you have your make-up put on...
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Do you think we could have some more make-up on? - You look beautiful anyway!
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I just feel really, I just feel a bit itchy. Oh, my God.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Are they the flowers that you ordered?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07I don't remember the long ones, I don't remember them.
0:05:07 > 0:05:13Calm down and get yourself... Stress, it might go down if you calm down a little bit.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Oh, it'll be OK, won't it?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Oh dear, looks like those flowers have given the bride a nasty rash.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19(She's pretending.)
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Time now to meet the bridesmaid, 10-year-old Evelyn,
0:05:22 > 0:05:27who happens to be one of our most lethal operatives Agent Cupcake.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29- You look beautiful.- Thank you.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Don't fall for it. Don't fall for it, Chelsea.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35I'm just going to check on her for a few minutes, can she sit in here?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37She can sit down, sit on a chair, that's fine.
0:05:37 > 0:05:43- So, can I have a cupcake?- Well, wait until.. Is it your mum?- Yes.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Wait until she comes back and you can ask her.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I won't tell her if you won't, she'll say no.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51You can have one when the wedding is over, it won't be long.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54How about you let me have one now?
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- I can't really let you have one now, I'll get you...- PLEASE?!
0:05:58 > 0:05:59Uh-oh.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00Please?!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02- We'll ask your mum when she comes back.- PLEASE?
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- We'll ask your mum. - PLEASE?- We'll ask her.- PLEASE?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10I said please, you imbecile! What don't you get about please?
0:06:13 > 0:06:16I can't really give out the cakes, they're not mine to give out.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Is everything OK with these?
0:06:20 > 0:06:24- Yeah, well, she's had a bit of an allergic reaction from a flower.- OK.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Oh, she's eating a cake!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Oh, no. Cupcake's got her hands on a cupcake -
0:06:30 > 0:06:32chocolate and white dresses don't mix.
0:06:32 > 0:06:38- Anyway, the courier company has just called...- Oh, she's in a right mess.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41- Where's the maid of honour? - I'll get her, it's not a problem.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43That was really yummy.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- Oh, you're going to be in trouble. - No, I won't.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Don't touch any more, then.- Why?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Because you'll be in trouble, look at your dress.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Oh well.- She's just...
0:06:53 > 0:06:56She said I could have one!
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I didn't say she could have one.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03- Yes, you did!- I can only...- You need to sit on the naughty step
0:07:03 > 0:07:05and think about what your actions have done!
0:07:07 > 0:07:11She let me have one! She sat on that chair over there and just laughed!
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I didn't. I said that she couldn't have one.
0:07:14 > 0:07:19- Oh! Did Gareth sort it out with Carrie as well?- So sorry.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Come on, let's go and tidy you up, come on.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27According to her auntie,
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Chelsea doesn't realise that making things run smoothly
0:07:30 > 0:07:32can be a tough ask. One thing's for sure,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36she certainly won't want to see another cake for a while.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Which is a shame, as no wedding is complete
0:07:38 > 0:07:41without a giant, lavish wedding cake like this.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Dread to think how much a cake that big costs.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- Thank you. It's just going over to this square table.- You got this?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Ooooh...
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Oh, my God.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Oh, my God.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Oh, I didn't want to drop that!
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Hello.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13What happened to the cake?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16This is probably not the best time to meet the groom.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18She dropped it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24I was doing you a favour, lifting it up there.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I could not possibly carry it on my own. I'm so sorry.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- My future wife cannot ever find out about this.- Yeah.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Please, please, whatever happens, let's just get it cleaned up,
0:08:34 > 0:08:36and you'd better go.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39It's safe to say Chelsea's first day as a wedding planner
0:08:39 > 0:08:41is not quite going to plan.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I just feel a bit itchy. Oh, my God!
0:08:44 > 0:08:45The bride is covered in hives,
0:08:45 > 0:08:48their cute little bridesmaid is covered in chocolate icing...
0:08:48 > 0:08:50You need to sit on the naughty step
0:08:50 > 0:08:52and think about what your actions have done!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55And the floor is covered with the wedding cake.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Chelsea is used to things just falling into place,
0:08:58 > 0:09:01but now everything is just falling apart.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03How much worse can things get?
0:09:03 > 0:09:05We will find out when we come back later.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07APPLAUSE
0:09:07 > 0:09:10OK, now, this is very exciting.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13On her way down is a tiny agent with a big heart.
0:09:13 > 0:09:18She is as adorable as she is deadly. It's the wonderful Agent Cupcake!
0:09:18 > 0:09:21LIFT BELL PINGS
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Ma'am.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- You may sit.- Erm, here? Thank you.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Don't forget, Hammond, we've got your annual appraisal coming up.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Yeah, I know, I'm looking forward to it.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38You're not expecting a pay rise, are you?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40No, no, no! Well...
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- No, no.- Good! That concludes our meeting.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49LAUGHTER
0:09:49 > 0:09:54- Are you still here?- No, ma'am, no, I'm gone. Isn't she great?
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Still not entirely sure how she got to be my boss.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Her background's in retail!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07My sister is a massive extrovert,
0:10:07 > 0:10:09she reckons she is a really good problem solver.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10She dreams of being on a plane
0:10:10 > 0:10:11and being able to put her hand up
0:10:11 > 0:10:14when someone asks if there is a doctor on board.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15She's not even a doctor.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16I do want to give her the chance
0:10:16 > 0:10:18of being a hero for the day,
0:10:18 > 0:10:20and to embarrass her wouldn't be too bad either.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26MUSIC: "Nine To Five" by Dolly Parton
0:10:26 > 0:10:29# Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen
0:10:29 > 0:10:31# Pour myself a cup of ambition
0:10:31 > 0:10:35# And yawnin', stretchin' Try to come to life
0:10:35 > 0:10:40# Workin' nine to five What a way to make a livin'
0:10:40 > 0:10:43# Barely gettin' by It's all takin' and no... #
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Aaah!
0:10:45 > 0:10:48Check it out! It's all in the detail.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51Magazine, girly yoghurt, all of this.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53You've really got to pay attention,
0:10:53 > 0:10:55you've got to bring the character to life
0:10:55 > 0:10:59to make it believable for the public. Today, I am Susan Edwards,
0:10:59 > 0:11:04I am a call centre lady for the lift engineer company.
0:11:04 > 0:11:05HE WHISPERS
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Well, no, of course they can't actually...
0:11:09 > 0:11:12See, it's on the phone, but that's not the point, you see,
0:11:12 > 0:11:14it all helps, you have to become...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17So, Rosie has been told to come to this flash London address
0:11:17 > 0:11:21where she thinks she's going to meet boyband The Wanted.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23I don't think that's going to happen.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27But she will get to meet Agent PR Disaster, whose boss,
0:11:27 > 0:11:29apparently, believes she is at a meeting in London Zoo with
0:11:29 > 0:11:32a number of international VIPs.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Oh, no! The lift's stuck. Huh!
0:11:35 > 0:11:40- No, no, no.- Oh, my God. - I am so late right now.
0:11:40 > 0:11:41Oh, my God. Good idea.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43BUZZER SOUNDS
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Hello, this is the lift operator.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47We've had a technical fault reported with your lift.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Yeah, it's kind of stuck.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51It may well correct itself in time,
0:11:51 > 0:11:55but what I'll do is send an engineer out to you ASAP.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56OK then.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02'Yeah. With the groundwork done, it's time for me
0:12:02 > 0:12:05'to hand over the helm to one of my junior agents.'
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- I'm going to lose my job! - 'I appreciate that, madam,
0:12:08 > 0:12:11'we'll get someone out to you as soon as possible.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12'Can you confirm your location?'
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- Baker Street?- Baker Street.
0:12:15 > 0:12:1934 Baker Street. 37? 34?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- I thought it said 80... - 37. No, 87. 87.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26- 83? 83.- 83 Baker Street.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Now, Rosie seems pretty switched on.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31This may be trickier than we had imagined.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34'We are going to get the technician out to you as soon as possible.'
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Remember, Agent PR Disaster's boss thinks she is at the zoo with
0:12:38 > 0:12:41representatives from all over the world.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Oh, that'll be him now.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46It's my work phone. Hello?
0:12:46 > 0:12:50- 'Hello, Diane?'- Hi, Paul. - Tell him...- 'How are you?'
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- I'm good, how are you? - 'Yeah, I'm OK. Are you at the zoo?'
0:12:58 > 0:13:02Yes, yes, I'm at the zoo right now and we, um,
0:13:02 > 0:13:06we are just going through the gates, we are just opening the gates.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Oh, great sound effects work. It's almost like being there!
0:13:09 > 0:13:13And we are walking through the, er,
0:13:13 > 0:13:14through the enclosure.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16'OK.'
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- Oh, my God, are you OK? You nearly just got hurt right then.- I did.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22This lady just bumped into me, Paul.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Rosie immediately mucking in and giving our agent
0:13:25 > 0:13:27a helping hand in lying to the boss.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30'You need to be meeting the guys any minute now.'
0:13:30 > 0:13:32No, Tomas is with me right now.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33'Hi, Tomas, how are you?'
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Swedish, Swedish.
0:13:39 > 0:13:40'Hi, Tomas, how are you?'
0:13:40 > 0:13:42BAD SWEDISH ACCENT: Hello? Hello?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45Me no speak Ingles... Me no speak...
0:13:45 > 0:13:50SHE SPEAKS IN GIBBERISH
0:13:50 > 0:13:54OK, Swedish Tomas sounding a little Japanese to me! But, you know...
0:13:54 > 0:13:55'Is that Mr Yakamoto?'
0:13:55 > 0:13:57That's a piece of luck,
0:13:57 > 0:14:00the boss thinks it's another one of the guests,
0:14:00 > 0:14:02the renowned Japanese vet, Dr Yakamoto.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Konnichiwa...
0:14:04 > 0:14:07SHE SPEAKS IN FAKE JAPANESE
0:14:07 > 0:14:10What, is she conning us now? I'm confused!
0:14:10 > 0:14:12'Could you get Dr Yakamoto to speak English, please,
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- 'I'm not picking any of that up.' - Of course, yes.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17'Hello, Mr Yakamoto?'
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Hi... Hiya. Yes.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21'Hello, how are you?'
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Good. We'll be there in... five minutes.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26'OK. I did hear that...'
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- Well done, Rosie, this is going well.- 'Is David there, Diane?'
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Yes, yes, David is here as well.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35COCKNEY ACCENT: 'Ello, guvnor, you all right?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- It's David 'ere. How you doing? - 'Yes, I'm very well.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40'It's good to finally speak to you.'
0:14:40 > 0:14:42That's great, it's so nice to speak to you too.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46OK, sounding a bit Australian. Rosie seems to be getting away with it.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47'Whereabouts are you?'
0:14:47 > 0:14:50We are at the monkey enclosure.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Oo! Oo!
0:14:53 > 0:14:57- Oo-oo! Oo-oo-oo! - 'OK, I can hear them, that's great.'
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Grrr!
0:15:02 > 0:15:06- Whooooo!- Do you hear the elephant? - Whooooo!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Ee-ee! Oo-oo! Ooh! Ee-ee! Eeee!
0:15:11 > 0:15:17SHE CHIRPS AND SQUEAKS
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Wow, she actually is Dr Doolittle!
0:15:20 > 0:15:23'Can you take some photos of the gorillas, please?'
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Er...yeah, sure, sure.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh!
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- Yes, I'm getting very good shots of the monkeys.- 'Nice touch.'
0:15:35 > 0:15:37They are fantastic.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Amazing, beautiful. I've got the best shots for you, ever. The best.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44So she's being the photographer as well as the animals now?!
0:15:44 > 0:15:46This is brilliant.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49I just want to check, David, Yakamoto and Tomas,
0:15:49 > 0:15:52that you all happy with what you've seen.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Can you guys concur on that?
0:15:54 > 0:15:57AS ALL THREE: Concur. Concur. Concur.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- 'Hi, this is the lift operator.' - Diane, what is that lift operator?
0:16:02 > 0:16:03What...? What is going on?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05No, she didn't say it is the lift operator.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- That's Dr Yakamoto doing an accent.- I'm doing an accent.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12AS COMPUTERISED VOICE: We are going to approach the next station.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15See? Would I lie to you?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17She is in the zoo, doing her job, like she's supposed to be doing.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20'I've got good news for you, you will shortly be moving.'
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- You're in a lift!- No, no, we're not in a lift. Seriously, listen!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Do animals, do animals.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27- Ra-ar, ra-ar!- There's cats.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- Ooh-ooh!- There's monkeys.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33- There's elephants.- Woo-ooh!
0:16:33 > 0:16:38- Llamas.- OK, Diane, I got some bad news for you.- Yeah?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41OK. You are totally fired.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Rosie, I've got some good news for you.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47You've just been on Richard Hammond's Secret Service on the BBC.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48Oh, my God!
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Rosie there, realising her dream of saving the day,
0:16:54 > 0:16:58rising to every imitation-based challenge we could set her.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00A little thank you very much to her sister
0:17:00 > 0:17:04and I suspect she's got something very similar to say to yours truly.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06SHE SPEAKS GIBBERISH
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Ah, but these are all good things she's saying.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16I'm not totally fluent in Japanese Swedish,
0:17:16 > 0:17:18but if I've grasped it correctly,
0:17:18 > 0:17:21I think she said something about me being a magnificent human being.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Something like that. But wait. What's that I hear?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Wedding bells?
0:17:29 > 0:17:31Inside this stately home,
0:17:31 > 0:17:34a dream wedding is turning into a nightmare...
0:17:34 > 0:17:35for Chelsea, whose first day
0:17:35 > 0:17:39as a wedding planner is not going as smoothly as she would've liked.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43The bride has hives and the cake has been destroyed.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Chelsea, best keep that small detail to yourself.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- Has my cake arrived?- It hasn't yet.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- We're trying to get that at the minute.- OK, can you let me know?
0:17:52 > 0:17:55I can't wait to see it. Oh, I'm so excited about the cake.
0:17:58 > 0:18:03Carrie, you are looking beautiful. With your hair.
0:18:03 > 0:18:07Oh, my goodness, look at you... Oh, ja.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Please, sit, OK...
0:18:15 > 0:18:18- Aargh!- Oh my goodness!
0:18:18 > 0:18:23- Oh, no!- What has happened? - It's fine. It's fine.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Er, that's far from fine.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Somebody...say something?
0:18:34 > 0:18:39- Is there any way that we can sew it back on?- You sew it?- We need to sew.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Let me see.- I'm going. I can't stay in here.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- It's not too bad.- Oh, my God!
0:18:46 > 0:18:48We can just do some sewing!
0:18:51 > 0:18:52This has never happened to me.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56I couldn't imagine this would happen to me when I'm helping out like this.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Oh, my God, you come on such a special day.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05So a few things have gone really badly and a few, even more badly,
0:19:05 > 0:19:08but as long as you have friends and family by your side,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10you can get through anything.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13And thanks to the directions Chelsea gave earlier, I'm sure
0:19:13 > 0:19:17the coach-load of friends and family should be arriving any second now.
0:19:17 > 0:19:22- Hello, Derek?- It's Derek. I don't think this is right.- Where are you?
0:19:22 > 0:19:28- I'm on the Woolwich Ferry. What do I do now?- He's on the Woolwich Ferry.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Dude, you're going in the wrong direction! It's Dulwich.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35I spoke to a lady who gave me the directions.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38All right, Derek, forget about it. Forget about it.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39The guests aren't going to be here.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I don't know who gave directions, but he's well off the mark.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45It's just... It's ridiculous.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Right, no guests, no dress, no cake -
0:19:48 > 0:19:51and the bride's locked herself in the toilet.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53So, no wedding.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54And no going to the toilet.
0:19:54 > 0:20:00She's not going to go through with it. She's got hives. No guests.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I don't want to marry her after what she just said to me, to be honest.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I think this is just before... This is nerves.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10It's just nerves, yeah. Things are going...
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- It'll be perfect at the time. - It will.
0:20:13 > 0:20:16My grandfather has come all the way from New Zealand for this.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18He won't make another trip.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20MAN: He's about 150 million years old.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21He needs to have a wedding.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24It's maybe crazy idea,
0:20:24 > 0:20:28but maybe we could get one of your friends to stand in.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30And then he has not had a wasted day
0:20:30 > 0:20:33because this is as much his day as yours. We just need someone.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38I can't help feeling there's a white elephant in the room right now.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Do you think...?- Would you...? - Would I...?- Would you just stand in?
0:20:46 > 0:20:53- Would I stand in what?- Stand in for Carrie? My grandad would die happy.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55It would simply just be, we'll just go through the actions.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- He'll hear it, and then we'll take him downstairs.- What about Carrie?
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- Is she not going to come round? - She's not coming down today.
0:21:03 > 0:21:08- Shall we do this?- Um...- It'll be very quick, we'll just do it now.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Get it over with.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Whatever they need to do to make their family happy,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- I just don't want to cause any more arguments.- She will do it!
0:21:15 > 0:21:18# Congratulations! #
0:21:18 > 0:21:22So Chelsea was set up by her Aunt Donna to oversee
0:21:22 > 0:21:24the wedding from hell.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27As Chelsea doesn't want to disappoint the only guest here,
0:21:27 > 0:21:30she's now agreed to stand in as the blushing bride.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Carrie.- Oh, Carrie, you look so beautiful.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45We are gathered here today before God...
0:21:45 > 0:21:47If we could just move on to the vows, that'd be great.
0:21:47 > 0:21:49Yes, certainly.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53In which case, I am obliged to ask if any person here
0:21:53 > 0:21:55knows of any just cause
0:21:55 > 0:21:59why these two people may not be joined in matrimony.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Speak now, or for ever hold their peace.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09I have!
0:22:10 > 0:22:14I pronounce you having starred on Richard's Hammond Secret Service!
0:22:20 > 0:22:24So wicked Auntie Donna put Chelsea through a hidden camera mincer
0:22:24 > 0:22:27and she got well and truly minced.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30From the blushing bride - literally...
0:22:30 > 0:22:34Do you think I'm having an allergic reaction to the flowers? Look!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Don't with the camera!
0:22:36 > 0:22:37..to the tantrums and chocolate...
0:22:37 > 0:22:40I said please, you imbecile!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42She said I could have one.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45..and that cake-tastropy, which really tore it.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51She started the day as the assistant and ended as the bride.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Her auntie really put the boot in.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Donna one, Chelsea nil.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00I was nearly crying, standing there. With the little girl as well!
0:23:01 > 0:23:07I nearly cried when she shouted at me! I'm so embarrassed.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Right! This next mission calls for our best agent.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17- Not you, Agent Nigel.- Oh.- Sorry.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20No, our best agent is a well-known ornithologist,
0:23:20 > 0:23:22which means birdwatcher.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I should know, I'm quite the expert myself,
0:23:24 > 0:23:27just last night I spotted a small striped one nesting in my garden.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Emu. Or possibly a penguin. This man will know, though.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- Activate Agent Bill Oddie. - Agent Oddie initiated.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Bill, this is so exciting.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Not just the scale of this mission, but also the subject.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Cos I love history.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44Really?
0:23:45 > 0:23:50And what is it exactly that you love so much about history?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Well, you know,
0:23:52 > 0:23:56some of my favourite memories are in the past.
0:23:57 > 0:24:03Yeah, history. Makes sense, Agent Oddie. Back to the coalface.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05He respects me, that man. He does.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Is this real?
0:24:07 > 0:24:11With Agent Oddie raring to go, let's find out more about the mission.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14My wife Hayley is extremely protective of her house
0:24:14 > 0:24:16and very house-proud.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19A couple of lads decided to take a detour through her back garden,
0:24:19 > 0:24:21and believe me, they'll never be doing that again.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23She assures me that she is not over the top.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25But help me prove that she really is.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30To put Hayley to the test, we've created our very own history show,
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Time Zone Live, which will broadcast from her garden.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37We'll use every weapon in our medieval televisual armoury
0:24:37 > 0:24:41to find out just how worthy an adversary Hayley is.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43My agents descend on Hayley's beautifully manicured garden
0:24:43 > 0:24:46and quickly wreak havoc,
0:24:46 > 0:24:49transforming it into a Time Zone Live pit of despair.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Everything is coming together for this mission.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55We have the actors and the cameras on location. Agent Oddie is ready.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56We are good to go...
0:24:58 > 0:25:00OK! I think I've found the hole!
0:25:00 > 0:25:03The stage is set. Or hole dug, I suppose.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06And here comes a slightly serious-looking Hayley...
0:25:06 > 0:25:09First in the line of fire is our overworked director.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11What are you doing in my garden?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13We're filming here today for Time Zone Live.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17- Nobody's told me you're filming here today.- Sorry, can I take you away from the filming...
0:25:17 > 0:25:19I just want you to tell me what you're doing in my garden...
0:25:19 > 0:25:23- Can I just take you over here... - I just want to know what you're doing, in my garden.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27- It's a history show, for... - But who's given you permission to dig up my garden?
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- My production manager sorted it out. - Are you in the right garden? - Definitely.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Have you spoken to my husband earlier, when he was here today? - No...
0:25:33 > 0:25:36So you've just randomly come into my garden, and dug it up?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Who has let you in here?!
0:25:38 > 0:25:41I need to know this now, otherwise you can all get off my garden.
0:25:41 > 0:25:46Looks like husband Jon was right, as the team begin to reap the Hayley whirlwind.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47This could be a very short show.
0:25:47 > 0:25:52Let's add fuel to the fire now, and introduce our lady from the council.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54- So it doesn't usually look like this?- No...
0:25:54 > 0:25:59Oh, of course, there's always a massive hole and Bill Oddie in Hayley's garden, isn't there(?)
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Right. Unfortunately I think what's happened
0:26:02 > 0:26:06is this area has been designated as a kind of historical hot spot.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08You can't clear it without me, it's private property.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I'm afraid we can, because what they find in there
0:26:11 > 0:26:15can end up in a museum or something, we all have responsibility.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18We will have to be out before half six, because we'll lose the light by then.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21- If I could grab you in... - I'll see what you find.
0:26:21 > 0:26:26I don't know anything about this, I've just come home from work, and my garden's dug up.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Hayley seems to have calmed a little.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32Maybe we misjudged her passion for history - as she agrees to take part in the show.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- DIRECTOR:- Three, two, one.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37The further down you go, the older it gets,
0:26:37 > 0:26:41so at the bottom we're looking at sort of pre-Roman, pagan era.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45We think some of this at the lower part dates from the 13th century.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47- Do you want to give that a taste? - No.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49- BILL:- Looks like cocoa.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Just have a little taste, I'll get another one for you.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53Mmm. It's got a sort of metallic...
0:26:53 > 0:26:57Yeah, it does. That metallic thing is interesting.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00That is a classic sign that this area would have been
0:27:00 > 0:27:05- used as a latrine in the 13th century.- Thank you, Gemma(!)
0:27:05 > 0:27:07What else have you discovered?
0:27:07 > 0:27:10MAN: I've got these, a fair few coins.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- Shall I have a look...? - Oh, be careful!
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Roman coin. You can tell by the weight.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19How much would you guess that something like that is worth?
0:27:19 > 0:27:23- A lot of money. - Between £2,000 and £3,000.
0:27:23 > 0:27:28- Do I own it if it's on my land? - We've been talking about this earlier today.
0:27:28 > 0:27:32It's called regalia minora, which means it's legally the property of the monarch.
0:27:32 > 0:27:36Right. So, it's the Queen's. Like she hasn't got enough!
0:27:36 > 0:27:39So, the huge hole in her lawn, dirt tasting and even the fact that
0:27:39 > 0:27:41she can't make money from this experience,
0:27:41 > 0:27:43having little or no effect on Hayley's demeanour.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45- DIRECTOR:- In three, two, one.
0:27:45 > 0:27:49Hello. We're looking at some of the geothermal scans.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52Now, this is what is interesting us, this section here.
0:27:52 > 0:27:56We think that is a public right of way, leading from the church
0:27:56 > 0:27:58underneath the property,
0:27:58 > 0:28:01going across the garden and leading off that way.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05So, basically, if you've got one of these ancient sites,
0:28:05 > 0:28:07there is an obligation to keep it open.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10You can't knock down a house or do anything like that?
0:28:10 > 0:28:14Well, if there was a footpath that existed, it would have to go through the house,
0:28:14 > 0:28:18- but they have to excavate what they find.- Yeah, but that's... No, you wouldn't.
0:28:20 > 0:28:25Finally, it seems, the fake enormity of the situation is sinking in for Hayley.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29- Oh, my God, seriously?- Yeah. - Seriously seriously?
0:28:29 > 0:28:33Seriously seriously. I know it feels very surreal.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Really? Promise?
0:28:35 > 0:28:38- DIRECTOR:- We'll lose our light in about half an hour.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41And here come the local medieval re-enactment group
0:28:41 > 0:28:44to add their middle-age weight to the programme.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47Surely this group of unwashed men in tights
0:28:47 > 0:28:51arriving in your garden is enough to rile any homeowner?
0:28:51 > 0:28:53No. Apparently not.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57- DIRECTOR:- In your own time, go for it.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00Hi there. You all look completely fabulous. We all agree, don't we?
0:29:00 > 0:29:03They look fabulous, I wonder how they sound, though.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05It wouldn't surprise me were you not to have a song or two in you.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07- Do you?- Do you?
0:29:08 > 0:29:12RUSTY SOUNDING NOTE IS BLOWN ON HORN
0:29:12 > 0:29:17NONSENSE "MEDIEVAL" LYRICS: # And find we did a nonkley nob of peddy-wondle doo
0:29:17 > 0:29:21# And said we did to lady fair
0:29:21 > 0:29:24# Oh braunle-boncle boo. # Chorus!
0:29:24 > 0:29:30# Oh braunle-boo, oh braunle-boo, oh braunle-boncle-boo
0:29:30 > 0:29:40# And said we to the lady fair...
0:29:40 > 0:29:43HE HOLDS NOTE...
0:29:49 > 0:29:54NOTE IS STILL BEING HELD...
0:29:57 > 0:30:01# ..Oh braunle-boncle boo! #
0:30:03 > 0:30:07What does that actually mean?
0:30:07 > 0:30:11Sirrah, Master Oddie, the meaning is lost in the history.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14This is not the reaction husband Jon predicted.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18We are failing miserably at this, so let's send in hubby Jon to see if he can help.
0:30:18 > 0:30:22- Glad my husband's back.- After all, this is entirely his fault.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25- How long's this been going on for? - I just came back from work.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31New recruit agent Hayley's husband immediately on the front line.
0:30:31 > 0:30:32Is it, Jonathan?
0:30:32 > 0:30:36Don't break, don't smile. Bad thoughts, think bad thoughts.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39- No.- Brussels sprouts, traffic jams, mother-in-law,
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Garibaldi biscuit factory on fire.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44- Bad things, anything, hold it together!- No.- Good man.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47You lied to your wife's face impeccably.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Time for my agents to raise the stakes one last time.
0:30:50 > 0:30:54Sorry, what should have happened, we're supposed to knock on doors, get permission to come in.
0:30:54 > 0:30:59But now we've found stuff there is a legal obligation to allow an excavation to continue.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03And that could go on for up to 48 hours. Or maybe longer.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07- Not through the night or anything, though?- Yeah.- Really?
0:31:07 > 0:31:09- I will go mental with whoever... - Yeah.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12We need to get a few links finished, otherwise we don't have a programme.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16We are here - would you mind if we just shot a couple more things?
0:31:16 > 0:31:19Yes, I think she does mind. But this is history in the making,
0:31:19 > 0:31:22and Time Zone waits for no man, or woman.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26On with the show - which apparently is going to end in dramatic fashion
0:31:26 > 0:31:30with a public phone-in deciding something very, very important.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36Right, it's the decision time, and it's up to you at home.
0:31:36 > 0:31:40There's Sandi Toksvig and her ancient toilet, or...
0:31:40 > 0:31:45there is this place, with its cornucopia of discoveries.
0:31:45 > 0:31:49I think it's time for Gemma's special countdown.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53I'm very good at this. To build tension I'm going to do a countdown.
0:31:53 > 0:31:56I think it's appropriate if we do it in Roman numerals, so everyone...
0:31:56 > 0:31:58X, IX...
0:31:58 > 0:32:02I'd like to watch this show, it's good! When's it on?
0:32:02 > 0:32:06..VI, V, IV,
0:32:06 > 0:32:09III, II, I!
0:32:09 > 0:32:11ALL CHEER
0:32:12 > 0:32:15And right... The results are in!
0:32:15 > 0:32:19It's Hayley's highway!
0:32:21 > 0:32:24Which means that we're going to be here for several days,
0:32:24 > 0:32:26digging up more and seeing what else we can find.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Right, fine. Ooh, what? Ah! Ah!
0:32:28 > 0:32:31And another bit of good news, yes.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34You, Hayley, have just been taking part
0:32:34 > 0:32:37in Richard Hammond's Secret Service!
0:32:37 > 0:32:39LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:32:45 > 0:32:50I did say there was something! I just thought... oh, God! So evil!
0:32:50 > 0:32:54You're so convincing! I can't believe it! I'm shaking!
0:32:54 > 0:32:56Honestly, I was going to be so rude at first.
0:32:56 > 0:32:57I was getting really irate.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00"How dare they come in my garden! I'm going to go mental!"
0:33:00 > 0:33:02I was all ready to...I was seething!
0:33:02 > 0:33:05I was shaking! I was like, "They can't possibly do this!
0:33:05 > 0:33:08"I need to see something in writing! I'm going to call the police!"
0:33:08 > 0:33:12Hayley came home to find fake TV show Time Zone Live
0:33:12 > 0:33:15had landed in her garden, destroying it on impact.
0:33:15 > 0:33:17You've just randomly come into my garden and dug it up?
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Who has let you in here?
0:33:19 > 0:33:22I need to know this now, otherwise, you can all get off my garden.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24We tempted her with buried treasure.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26Do I own it if it's on my land?
0:33:26 > 0:33:27We even serenaded her...
0:33:27 > 0:33:30HE SINGS LONG NOTE
0:33:30 > 0:33:33..before finally crowning her queen of her own back yard.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35This is a Roman gnome, or a Gnoman,
0:33:35 > 0:33:37and you can have that as a sort of award.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39- I think that would be fair. - Oh, I love it!
0:33:39 > 0:33:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Now that WAS mission accomplished, and thanks...
0:33:47 > 0:33:50Shut up! Some people are trying to work here!
0:33:50 > 0:33:52Oops, sorry, ma'am.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55I could end you. Like THAT.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Harsh, but actually true. So onto the next mission.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02No-one likes being caught out telling a lie,
0:34:02 > 0:34:05especially when they're telling the truth.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12We're hitting the streets of Oxford with our very own lie detector.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15But this is no ordinary lie detector.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18The Truthometer 2000, as I like to call it,
0:34:18 > 0:34:21uses eye recognition technology with voice pattern analysis
0:34:21 > 0:34:25to indicate whether a person is telling the truth or not.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27Actually this is a kind of prototype.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29Definitely a work in progress.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31Basically what I'm saying is,
0:34:31 > 0:34:33it's fake, and we decide what's true or false.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37Time to unlock some public secrets.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42I've never been so on edge about simple questions!
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Does it hurt?
0:34:46 > 0:34:50- Dennis, do you wear the trousers in the relationship?- Yes.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52BELL That's true.
0:34:52 > 0:34:53SHE LAUGHS
0:34:53 > 0:34:58- Do you ever steal food from the supermarkets?- No, never.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00BUZZER
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- Not even a grape?- Never!
0:35:02 > 0:35:05- BUZZER - Oh...yes.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- Yes, actually. A grape! - BELL
0:35:08 > 0:35:11Oh, there you are, look! The test never lies!
0:35:11 > 0:35:13Do you fart when people are around?
0:35:13 > 0:35:15- Yes. - BELL
0:35:15 > 0:35:18- THEY GIGGLE - That's a bit revealing!
0:35:18 > 0:35:20- Yes, it is!- Have you farted in the last five minutes?
0:35:20 > 0:35:23- No. - BUZZER
0:35:23 > 0:35:25- Really?- Yes, absolutely. - BUZZER
0:35:27 > 0:35:31- Do you have girlfriends?- Yes. - BUZZER
0:35:31 > 0:35:33- THEY LAUGH - No, I do, I do! I honestly do!
0:35:33 > 0:35:36BUZZER BUZZES REPEATEDLY THEY LAUGH
0:35:36 > 0:35:38- Do you love your wife?- I do.
0:35:38 > 0:35:41BELL THEY LAUGH
0:35:41 > 0:35:44- I passed!- Don't ask me the same question!
0:35:44 > 0:35:46- Do you love your girlfriend?- Yes.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48BELL
0:35:48 > 0:35:50- Do you ever wear her clothes when she's not home?- No.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52BELL Really, Derek?
0:35:52 > 0:35:53When she IS home.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- Kinky!- I'm an entertainer.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Sonia, are you happy with how Dennis dresses?
0:35:59 > 0:36:01Sometimes.
0:36:01 > 0:36:03BUZZER SHE LAUGHS
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Dennis, do you like Sonia's outfit today?
0:36:06 > 0:36:08- Er, not particularly. - BELL
0:36:08 > 0:36:10THEY LAUGH
0:36:12 > 0:36:15Have you been checking out the ladies today?
0:36:15 > 0:36:16- No. - BELL
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- Have you been checking out the boys? - No.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22BUZZER HE LAUGHS
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Do you ever look at pictures of Mark's wife?
0:36:25 > 0:36:27- Yes. - BELL
0:36:27 > 0:36:31MARK GASPS THEY LAUGH
0:36:31 > 0:36:34- Do you find me attractive? - Absolutely.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37- BUZZER - Oh, ooh!- You don't have to lie.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39- I didn't lie! - BUZZER
0:36:39 > 0:36:42How do you rate your looks, ten being really hot?
0:36:42 > 0:36:44- Six. - BUZZER
0:36:44 > 0:36:48THEY LAUGH
0:36:48 > 0:36:51Where do you really rate yourself?
0:36:51 > 0:36:52Try seven.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54BUZZER THEY LAUGH
0:36:54 > 0:36:57- Would you put him up as a nine?- Yes.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00BUZZER SHE LAUGHS
0:37:00 > 0:37:01- Where do you rate yourself?- Ten.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03BELL THEY LAUGH
0:37:05 > 0:37:08I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!
0:37:08 > 0:37:10I don't think ten at all!
0:37:10 > 0:37:12- Do you think you're really hot?- No!
0:37:12 > 0:37:15BUZZER THEY LAUGH
0:37:15 > 0:37:17Have you ever been on a hidden camera show?
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- THEY LAUGH - No, don't tell me!
0:37:20 > 0:37:21Oh, no, no, no, no!
0:37:21 > 0:37:23We caught you!
0:37:23 > 0:37:27You guys are brilliant!
0:37:27 > 0:37:29We're filming for BBC1. You've just been...
0:37:29 > 0:37:31THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Well, that's all the top secret missions we have time for.
0:37:38 > 0:37:39So, what have we learned?
0:37:39 > 0:37:43Well, we've learned that weddings are not necessarily
0:37:43 > 0:37:45the best day of EVERYONE'S lives,
0:37:45 > 0:37:48and it's no lie that lying lie detectors can lie,
0:37:48 > 0:37:51and that's the truth. Or is it? No, I'm lying.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54And we've also learned that if Bill Oddie is in your garden,
0:37:54 > 0:37:57you have every reason to be suspicious. Case closed.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00But let's not forget, ladies and gentlemen, please,
0:38:00 > 0:38:04to give a massive round of applause to the real stars of this show.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07LIFT PINGS APPLAUSE
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Thank you! So sorry!
0:38:16 > 0:38:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:21 > 0:38:23Till next time, citizens...sorry!
0:38:43 > 0:38:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd