Episode 4

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0:00:00 > 0:00:07.

0:00:20 > 0:00:23APPLAUSE

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Now, team.

0:00:25 > 0:00:29One of the most critical things about being the boss

0:00:29 > 0:00:32in an organisation like this is having absolute trust

0:00:32 > 0:00:35in those beneath you. And that is, well, that is all of you.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38So, I shall prove that point now with this trust exercise.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Are you ready? Good. I will count you in.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44Three. Two. One.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48I'm OK! I'm OK!

0:00:48 > 0:00:51I'm OK! You're dismissed. You can go. You can go.

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Don't worry. Nobody's fault. Nobody's fault.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58It was their fault.

0:00:58 > 0:00:59Hello and welcome to My Secret Service.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03I am in quite a lot of pain and I shall now press this button.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Displaying secret files.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Coming up on tonight's show...

0:01:07 > 0:01:09They are not coming on my property.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13..a piece of urban art attracts all the wrong sort of attention

0:01:13 > 0:01:15to this woman's home...

0:01:15 > 0:01:17- Your house is now an art gallery.- No. No.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19You'd better just go cos you're not coming on.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22..a roofer from Kent becomes a German pop star

0:01:22 > 0:01:24and then performs live on TV...

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Ain't no stopping, let's get rocking.

0:01:26 > 0:01:30Live in London, Jonny X!

0:01:30 > 0:01:33# Hey, hey, pop, pop. #

0:01:33 > 0:01:36..and what happens when children make friends with a talking dog?

0:01:36 > 0:01:40- Would you like a worm sandwich? - Eurgh.- No.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43Where do you guys hide your tails?

0:01:43 > 0:01:47- We don't have tails! - We have bottoms.

0:01:47 > 0:01:48Look.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:53 > 0:01:55Now, technically, I shouldn't have shown you that.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57It is all very top-secret.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59So, now, I'm afraid, I shall have to wipe your memory of it.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02Look at the pen, please. Look at the pen.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Oh. Hang on. That is just a pen, isn't it?

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Where's my memory wiper gone?

0:02:08 > 0:02:09BUZZER

0:02:14 > 0:02:17First up tonight, we have Becki.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19My feisty and gullible mum Gillian prides herself

0:02:19 > 0:02:21on the home in the lovely street that we live on.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24She is a proper nosy neighbour. Can you give her neighbours

0:02:24 > 0:02:26something to twitch their curtains about?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31An unassuming house sits unassumingly

0:02:31 > 0:02:33in peaceful Unassumia.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35It's...in Essex.

0:02:36 > 0:02:41But Gillian's suburban semi is about to get a serious urban makeover.

0:02:44 > 0:02:48Enter the scourge of urban city life, the infamous Dixie,

0:02:48 > 0:02:52a world-renowned and never-before-heard-of graffiti artist.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Actually, it's Gillian's daughter, Becki.

0:02:55 > 0:02:58So, whilst Gillian is out, Mervin and Humphrey

0:02:58 > 0:03:00from the Secret Service decorating department

0:03:00 > 0:03:03put up some instant, urban graffiti,

0:03:03 > 0:03:06a bold and unflinching statement for the lost generation.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Bum.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13So, feisty Gillian returns from a shopping trip with daughter Becki

0:03:13 > 0:03:16only to discover a huge bum on her house...

0:03:16 > 0:03:18which is quite unusual.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Mum, what the hell?! Oh, my God.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23- No-one else has had it done, have they?- I don't know.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27I think she's checking to see if the culprit is still at large.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29Ah, no. Nobody there, so now she can step back

0:03:29 > 0:03:33and enjoy the cheeky addition to her house.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35And here comes our fake, local news team

0:03:35 > 0:03:37who somehow have got wind of the big bum.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Mum, it's the news.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41- This is it.- This is it?- Yeah.

0:03:42 > 0:03:46- What is going on?- I don't know.

0:03:46 > 0:03:51- Hi. Is this your house?- I just got in. I don't know what the hell is going on here.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53My name's Alex. I'm a reporter from Live TV.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55We've just had a tip-off from the police that you've had

0:03:55 > 0:03:57this piece of graffiti done on your house.

0:03:57 > 0:04:01I've just come home and I'm like, what the hell? What is going on?

0:04:01 > 0:04:04The report we've had is that this is actually by an international

0:04:04 > 0:04:05graffiti artist called Dixie.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09- Do you mind doing an interview with me?- No.- That's amazing. Thank you.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12- Sorry, what was your name again? - I'm Gill.- Gill. Hi. I'm Alex. Nice to meet you.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14I know a little bit about Dixie

0:04:14 > 0:04:16so I'll tell you a bit about it as we go.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18But it could be really exciting for you. It could...

0:04:18 > 0:04:20I don't know. Are you feeling excited at the moment?

0:04:20 > 0:04:23I don't know. No. I'm a little bit... Erm...

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Especially with the wording, bum. It doesn't really...

0:04:25 > 0:04:30- It is actually German, so you pronounce it "boom".- Oh, really?!

0:04:30 > 0:04:33Boom? Oh. There go the bum jokes.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Hi. This is Alex. I'm here for Live TV.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38I'm in Hornchurch in Essex and I'm joined by the lovely Gillian

0:04:38 > 0:04:43who has been surprised by the international graffiti artist Dixie.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Gillian, are you feeling excited about having

0:04:46 > 0:04:49- this piece of art on your house? - Erm... Not... Well...

0:04:49 > 0:04:54Not really. I mean, I just don't know. I don't know what to say.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57Dixie is actually regarded as the third international

0:04:57 > 0:04:59- graffiti artist in the world. - Oh, my goodness.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02So there's Banksy and then you've got Rolf Harris

0:05:02 > 0:05:05and then you've got Dixie. So he is really, really huge.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09If this turns out to be genuine, of course, how would you feel

0:05:09 > 0:05:12about living in what could be a work of art?

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. If he comes with Rolf Harris then,

0:05:15 > 0:05:17yeah, it's brilliant, isn't it? It is good.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21Well, so far Gillian seems to be taking it all in her stride.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Not what we'd expected.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25I mean, how can you tell if it's genuine?

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Enter Agent Bureaucrat playing a council official,

0:05:28 > 0:05:30highly skilled in the art of nit-pickery.

0:05:30 > 0:05:34- Hi. I'm with the local council. - Hello, there. Hi.

0:05:34 > 0:05:38- We heard that you'd had an incident with some graffiti. - I thought it was...

0:05:38 > 0:05:41- I thought it was a practical joke at first, to be honest. - No joke, I'm afraid.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44- I wouldn't spend my afternoon doing this if it was a joke.- No. No.

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Now we're sending in more agents in hi-vis jackets and hard hats,

0:05:48 > 0:05:50to verify Dixie's bum. Sorry, "boom".

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Can we... Do you think we could get an interview with you?

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Not while I'm working. No, I'm afraid not. Sorry.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00- Yeah, I've just got confirmation that this is genuine, actually.- Wow.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03How exciting.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Gillian actually seems quite pleased with that.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08But will she be pleased with this?

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Now it's up and it's been confirmed as genuine,

0:06:10 > 0:06:14it's actually a criminal offence to remove it. We need to protect this.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18- You're liable to a £100,000 fine...- Really?!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21- ..or a criminal sentence, actually, as well.- Oh, my goodness.- OK.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24I think we should start protecting this. Have you got the barriers?

0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Yeah.- I just can't believe this is happening.

0:06:26 > 0:06:30So, it's official. This is a Dixie and that means Gillian's house

0:06:30 > 0:06:32has just become an art gallery.

0:06:32 > 0:06:37I hereby annexe this property and as such its subject to the laws

0:06:37 > 0:06:41and bylaws and bybylaws governing the administration

0:06:41 > 0:06:45and curation of an official council support art viewing installation.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48You mean they're actually going to be allowed to come into my home?

0:06:48 > 0:06:52- Well, essentially, your house is now an art gallery.- No. No.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Well, the outside can be. They can stand on the outside,

0:06:54 > 0:06:55but this is my property

0:06:55 > 0:06:58and I'm not having anybody coming on and infringing my property.

0:06:58 > 0:07:02I pay my council taxes and I'm not having that.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05Yeah, I think the novelty might be wearing off somewhat

0:07:05 > 0:07:08for house-proud, feisty Gillian. Not surprising, really.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11So, obviously, as the story develops now,

0:07:11 > 0:07:13we've just heard from the council

0:07:13 > 0:07:16that actually the work of art needs to be protected.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18How are you feeling about that?

0:07:18 > 0:07:21I mean, I my private property has now become public property,

0:07:21 > 0:07:24which, in anybody's right is an infringement, as I said before,

0:07:24 > 0:07:26infringement of your own privacy.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30Yeah, so Gillian finds our infringement infringing,

0:07:30 > 0:07:31which is...kind of the point.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33So far she's had to deal with

0:07:33 > 0:07:37the unwelcome redecoration of the front of her house

0:07:37 > 0:07:40and more than a little unwanted attention.

0:07:40 > 0:07:44- And this is only the beginning of the end.- What's all this?

0:07:44 > 0:07:47We'll come back later to discover how much worse.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Do I get my home back? - Yeah, in a manner of speaking.

0:07:49 > 0:07:53- It'll just be missing that area. - Oh! No. Leave this. Leave it.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56And how much weirder things can get

0:07:56 > 0:07:58for someone with a "bum" on their wall.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00- Let me hear you say, "bum". - HE BEATBOXES

0:08:03 > 0:08:05APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:08:05 > 0:08:08Come here. You've got to see this, it's amazing.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10My agents have been working really hard on this.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13It's smash-proof glass, like, really smash-proof.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Very expensive stuff, but completely unbreakable.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18You could hit this with a train.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20So if I was a villain

0:08:20 > 0:08:22trying to break in here with, say, a hammer,

0:08:22 > 0:08:25I'd be in for a big surprise. Smash-proof.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28No! Soundproof! Soundproof.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32Oh! I couldn't hear you. Which does mean, I suppose, it works.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34Well done. Carry on.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40We all know that keeping kids entertained in the classroom

0:08:40 > 0:08:41can be a tough task.

0:08:41 > 0:08:42We think we can help.

0:08:42 > 0:08:47Meet Agent Sammy. He's a dog, in case you were wondering,

0:08:47 > 0:08:50and that is a dog vocaliser.

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Pretty complicated stuff,

0:08:51 > 0:08:54but basically it can read Agent Sammy's thoughts

0:08:54 > 0:08:57and broadcast them to the world. Amazing.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58Fluffy.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00What, really? So it's not...

0:09:00 > 0:09:04Oh, right, it's actually a speaker with another human agent

0:09:04 > 0:09:06talking through it pretending to be a dog. Is that right?

0:09:06 > 0:09:10Yeah, that's it. OK. Back to the mission. Talking dog - check.

0:09:10 > 0:09:15All we need now are some children. Children?

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Ah, that's handy.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23Sammy is our helper today,

0:09:23 > 0:09:26a very, very special dog.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30Just going to turn this on. Would you like to say hello to Sammy?

0:09:30 > 0:09:31Hello, Sammy.

0:09:31 > 0:09:32Hello, Marvin.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Hello, Leila. Hello, Maisie.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Oh!

0:09:39 > 0:09:42- That's clever, isn't it?- Yeah!

0:09:42 > 0:09:48- Hello, Sammy.- Have you ever met a talking dog before?

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Think about it.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54- Woof! - SHE GIGGLES

0:09:57 > 0:09:58He talked!

0:09:58 > 0:10:01- Your teeth are so big. - That's because I'm a dog.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Ha!

0:10:03 > 0:10:08- Who wants to do some reading? - Me.- Yay!

0:10:08 > 0:10:12- "A mouse took a stroll..." - "Through the deep, dark wood."

0:10:12 > 0:10:15I love woods. You get to chase squirrels in them.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Have you seen a squirrel? - BOTH: Yeah!

0:10:18 > 0:10:19What do they look like?

0:10:19 > 0:10:23They look like they've got a bushy tail like a fox.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25And they are brown and they're furry.

0:10:25 > 0:10:30- Very, very furry, but not really. - And they've got a tiny head.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32I've got one in a box at home.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Shall we do some more reading? - We'll do a little bit more reading.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41- We'll turn the book around so you two can see it.- Yay!- Yeah?

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Little bit more reading? All right.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46"Where are you going to, little brown mouse?

0:10:46 > 0:10:50"Come and have lunch in my underground house."

0:10:50 > 0:10:54Lunch is my favourite thing. Would you like a worm sandwich?

0:10:54 > 0:10:56- Ooh!- No!

0:10:56 > 0:10:57Why?

0:10:57 > 0:11:00Human beings don't like eating worms.

0:11:00 > 0:11:06- Erm, I ate a clam once. - What did it taste of?- Crocodiles.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09- What do you like eating? - Lemon drizzle cake.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Soft-shell crab.

0:11:12 > 0:11:16- Huh?- Why do you keep sticking your tongue out, Sammy?

0:11:16 > 0:11:18That's what we do when we're a bit hot.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20- HE PANTS - Like that.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21SHE PANTS

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Woof!

0:11:23 > 0:11:25- Whoo! - THEY PANT

0:11:25 > 0:11:30- So where do you guys hide your tails?- We don't have tails!

0:11:30 > 0:11:31We have bottoms.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34- Look!- Really?

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Cos we're not dogs.- Ah.

0:11:37 > 0:11:41- Woof!- I love you, Sammy. I wish I could live with you.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44BOTH: We love reading with Sammy.

0:11:44 > 0:11:45I like your nose.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49BOTH: I love reading with Sammy.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52'I would say that's a pretty successful sprinkling of magic dust

0:11:52 > 0:11:55'on an otherwise average classroom.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57'Got to get myself one of those vocalisers. That would be great.'

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Do we still have to be here?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:12:03 > 0:12:10- So this is the actual Wolfchat 3000, and this doesn't work.- No.

0:12:10 > 0:12:14- Well, can you fix it? - It never did work, Richard.

0:12:14 > 0:12:19- Well, how did you know what the dog was thinking?- It was an actor.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Right, got it. How did the actor know what the dog was thinking?

0:12:22 > 0:12:25LAUGHTER

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Later! Catch up on that.

0:12:27 > 0:12:31Anyway, time now to complete our incomplete mission in Essex.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34If you weren't watching earlier, a quick recap.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Dixie put his bum on Gillian's wall and she's not happy about it.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39That should make perfect sense to anyone who's just joined us.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42So, house-proud Gillian came home

0:12:42 > 0:12:46to discover this rather cheeky artwork on her house.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Oh, my God, Mum, it's the news.

0:12:48 > 0:12:49And the local news.

0:12:49 > 0:12:53This is actually by an international graffiti artist called Dixie.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56And the council are on the scene.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59- Well, essentially, your house is now an art gallery.- No.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Can I just run through a checklist of issues with your property?

0:13:02 > 0:13:04What sort of toilet facilities do you have?

0:13:04 > 0:13:06- They're not coming into my home. - What...

0:13:06 > 0:13:08If you want them to come on here you can put a Portakabin

0:13:08 > 0:13:12and they can go on the pavements and whatever. They're not coming into my property.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15- What parking facilities do you have on offer?- I don't have any.

0:13:15 > 0:13:19I mean, this is prime parking space.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Yeah, this is my parking space for my vehicles and my home.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26We will need disabled access and disabled parking, as well.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29That's something... You'll have to deal with as the council.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Is this an official drop curb here, or is this...?

0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Yeah, of course it is.- That's disabled here.- No, I don't...

0:13:36 > 0:13:39No, I don't think so.

0:13:39 > 0:13:40I'm not going down that road.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43Well, you live on that road, Gillian,

0:13:43 > 0:13:46and news of your Dixie masterpiece has gone viral,

0:13:46 > 0:13:50which means youths, and with them, Beatfox,

0:13:50 > 0:13:53a street MC - whatever that is.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55I've been following Dixie around for quite a while

0:13:55 > 0:13:58and I do performances and try and get nice big crowds.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01- How did you know this was here? - It's a bit secretive at the moment?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Did he tip you off? - He tipped me off, yeah.- Right, OK.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07If you talk to him, can you just ask him why he picked my house.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Because now I'm, like, invaded with...

0:14:09 > 0:14:13I'd be pretty happy if it was my house, I'd be honoured.

0:14:13 > 0:14:14I'd be pretty amazed.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16I'd probably wake up and faint, to be honest with you.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18We're here in Hornchurch in Essex,

0:14:18 > 0:14:23where Beatfox has actually shown up at Dixie's piece of art

0:14:23 > 0:14:26to give a little performance and Gillian is joining in.

0:14:26 > 0:14:27She's loving it.

0:14:27 > 0:14:32- So let's all join in with Beatfox. - Let me hear you say "bum".- Bum.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36- HE BEATBOXES - Bum, bum, bum. Let me hear you say "bum".

0:14:36 > 0:14:39'Huge respect to Gillian. Not only is she refusing to get in a flap,

0:14:39 > 0:14:42'she's actually joining in with Beatfox.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43'We kind of need her to remember

0:14:43 > 0:14:46'she's got a giant "bum" painted on her house

0:14:46 > 0:14:47'and a load of people on her driveway.'

0:14:47 > 0:14:49- What's all this? - That's red tape, Gillian.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51'It means you can't get into your own house

0:14:51 > 0:14:53'without showing photographic ID.'

0:14:53 > 0:14:55I bet the Queen didn't even get this, did she,

0:14:55 > 0:14:57at the bloody Jubilee or something?

0:14:59 > 0:15:02No, you bloody can't, no. There's a thing up the road. No way.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04- I'll be out in 30 seconds. - I don't care. No.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- It's my home, you're not coming in my home.- Can I just check your ID?

0:15:07 > 0:15:08Here you are, check that.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11'Strange place to keep your ID, Gillian(!)

0:15:11 > 0:15:13'Anyway, finally some good news.'

0:15:13 > 0:15:17- We are actually going to move this artwork.- Oh!

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- I'm sure you're very happy about that.- So how can you...

0:15:20 > 0:15:22You just threatened me with a £100,000 fine if I touched it,

0:15:22 > 0:15:23so what...

0:15:23 > 0:15:26We're going to remove it, and we have to keep it intact,

0:15:26 > 0:15:29unfortunately, so we'll be... We'll just be taking a section.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32How can you do that? Do I get my home back?

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Yeah, in a manner of speaking. Yeah.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37It'll just be missing that area, for the time being, just around there.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41- Taking out the wall?!- Exactly.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Oh! No, leave it where it is. You're not taking my wall.

0:15:44 > 0:15:49- We'll have some polythene over it for a couple of days.- No, no. No!

0:15:49 > 0:15:51So, the news on Gillian's street

0:15:51 > 0:15:54is that the council have agreed to move the artwork. Great!

0:15:54 > 0:15:58Unfortunately they intend to take the wall of her home, as well.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Bit draughty.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04- Oh, my God.- Can I just check your ID? Please, madam?

0:16:04 > 0:16:08- I need to get in there to get my ID. - Hang on a second.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09- Don't be stupid.- Hang on.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12What's this? Uh-oh. Demolition truck.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17You'll have to go through me first.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20You are not going through my property. No. Go away.

0:16:20 > 0:16:26- They are not coming on my property. - Let me hear you say "bum".

0:16:26 > 0:16:29You better just go, because you're not coming on.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Go. You're not coming on.

0:16:31 > 0:16:35'Just when things can't get any worse, enter Dixie...'

0:16:35 > 0:16:41This is Dixie! This is actually him. Come and see.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45You responsible for this? You're not putting any more up on my bloody wall, thank you very much.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48'..which of course is daughter Becki, who set the whole thing up.'

0:16:48 > 0:16:52You've just been the star of Richard Hammond's Secret Service on BBC!

0:16:54 > 0:16:58Oh, sweetheart. You were so good.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04How could you do that to me?

0:17:04 > 0:17:10Gillian returned home to the unusual sight of a giant "bum" on her wall.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12She happily dealt with the world's press,

0:17:12 > 0:17:14but was less than happy with the men from the council.

0:17:14 > 0:17:19- Your house is now an art gallery. - No.- She only had one word for them.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22No. No. No.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25And as the crowds gathered, Gillian hit boiling point.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Just go, because you're not coming on.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29They are not coming on my property.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Before finally coming face to face with the artist himself -

0:17:33 > 0:17:36or actually, herself - Gillian's daughter, Becki.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38How could you do that to me?

0:17:38 > 0:17:41HE BEATBOXES

0:17:41 > 0:17:45- Everybody say "bum". - ALL: Bum!

0:17:45 > 0:17:49APPLAUSE

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Now, in this next mission, a member of the public

0:17:55 > 0:17:57learns the important lesson

0:17:57 > 0:18:01that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Like wax fruit. Don't eat it.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06X-ray specs - they just don't work.

0:18:06 > 0:18:11Or estate agents who sell you Big Ben for £500. They're lying!

0:18:21 > 0:18:24Hello, everybody, and welcome to 3 Car Giveaway,

0:18:24 > 0:18:25the only game show in the UK

0:18:25 > 0:18:28where our contestants could be popping out for a pint of milk

0:18:28 > 0:18:32and then the next minute, driving away in a very nice motor.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Today, hopefully, we'll be giving away these three motors.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42So, we've stopped these unsuspecting shoppers,

0:18:42 > 0:18:44who've all agreed to take part

0:18:44 > 0:18:46in what they think is a win-a-car quiz.

0:18:46 > 0:18:48When, in fact, it's the Secret Service,

0:18:48 > 0:18:50providing a very important public service.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Showing the people of Britain,

0:18:52 > 0:18:54well, the people in this shopping centre anyway,

0:18:54 > 0:18:58that if it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Of course, what our contestants don't know

0:19:00 > 0:19:03is that Agent Clueless is in on the act.

0:19:03 > 0:19:08If you get every single question right, you win a car each.

0:19:08 > 0:19:11If you get one question wrong,

0:19:11 > 0:19:12that's it, we end of.

0:19:12 > 0:19:16No looking, winking, or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...

0:19:16 > 0:19:17HE COUGHS Brazil '86. OK?

0:19:17 > 0:19:21The golden rules of this is you're on telly. Smile, look pretty, it could be worse,

0:19:21 > 0:19:23you could be wearing the sparkly jacket.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26We all wish them the best of luck, don't we? Don't we?

0:19:26 > 0:19:29OK, so let's play 3 Car Giveaway.

0:19:32 > 0:19:38We are now just three correct answers from your dream cars.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40- How are you feeling? - Slightly nervous.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42Slightly nervous? How you feeling?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44My heart is in my hands.

0:19:44 > 0:19:49Complete the names of these million-selling song titles.

0:19:49 > 0:19:53Take That. Relight My...

0:19:54 > 0:19:55Fire.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00That's the one!

0:20:02 > 0:20:04Fire?

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Is the right answer. Well done.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09Well done, well done, well done. Here we go.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11Queen. Bohemian...

0:20:11 > 0:20:14- Rhapsody.- Oh, hoo-hoo!

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Is the right answer, well done, well done.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18Rhapsody.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Is the right answer. Well done, well done.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24So far, everyone's got their questions correct.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28If Agent Clueless makes it there correct answer in a row,

0:20:28 > 0:20:30they all win the cars - one each.

0:20:30 > 0:20:32The tension is incredible. Here we go.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34One question away from the cars.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35Elton John.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37Candle In The...

0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Window.- Oh, my God.

0:20:48 > 0:20:49Candle In The...

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Window.

0:20:56 > 0:20:57Window.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07Candle In The...

0:21:09 > 0:21:11Window.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15Is the wrong answer. Is the wrong answer, Kevin.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Is the wrong answer.

0:21:18 > 0:21:24- Candle In The Window.- It's wind. - That means you do NOT win the cars.

0:21:24 > 0:21:27Aw, that is a shame.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29It was just too good to be true.

0:21:31 > 0:21:34Anyway, hopefully the next contestants, Chris,

0:21:34 > 0:21:38and rapper Cain, will have better luck.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Can you give us a little bit of rap now?

0:21:40 > 0:21:41No.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Mate, listen, if we win and you walk away with a car,

0:21:47 > 0:21:51I definitely want you to do a bit of rapping. Good luck. I really mean it. Good luck.

0:21:51 > 0:21:54Complete the names of these three best-selling novels.

0:21:54 > 0:21:59Roald Dahl. Charlie And The Chocolate...

0:21:59 > 0:22:02- Factory.- Sorry?- Factory.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Is the right answer, Chris. Well done, well done.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Cain, your one.

0:22:07 > 0:22:10JRR Tolkien.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12The Lord Of The...

0:22:12 > 0:22:13Rings.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17Is the right answer. Well done.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19One more to go. Here we go.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23One question remains. Nice and quiet, please. No help from anybody.

0:22:24 > 0:22:29CS Lewis. The Lion, The Witch And The...

0:22:30 > 0:22:31Cupboard.

0:22:35 > 0:22:42I'm going to ask you again. C S Lewis, The Lion, The Witch And The...

0:22:45 > 0:22:46Take your time.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Think of what you saw your clothes in.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56- Take your time.- Cupboard.

0:23:03 > 0:23:08It's the wrong answer, Kevin. It's wardrobe. It's wardrobe.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11That was close, man. That was so close.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Next up, two sisters out to do a spot of shopping,

0:23:16 > 0:23:19now hoping to go home with more than a new frock.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23Will they spot that this is too good to be true?

0:23:23 > 0:23:27Complete the names of these three movies.

0:23:27 > 0:23:29Four Weddings And A...

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Funeral.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Is the right answer. Well done. OK.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39Silence Of The...

0:23:39 > 0:23:40Lambs.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46Correct answer. Here we go.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49Raging...

0:23:49 > 0:23:50Hangover.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59Is the wrong answer, Kevin, is the wrong answer. It's Raging Bull.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Raging Bull.

0:24:02 > 0:24:03They can't even look at him!

0:24:05 > 0:24:09So far, four couples have tried and failed to win a car each,

0:24:09 > 0:24:12because Agent Clueless is an idiot and, more importantly,

0:24:12 > 0:24:15it's too good to be true.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17So, will our final unsuspecting shopping centre duo,

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Darren and Crystal, get their hands on those elusive car keys?

0:24:20 > 0:24:25- Complete the names of these famous pop groups.- I'm thinking not.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Take...

0:24:27 > 0:24:28That. Take That.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30You'll go with Take That?

0:24:33 > 0:24:37It's the right answer, mate. Well done. Your question.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39- The Spice...- Girls.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42Is the right answer.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44Well done.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Well done, well done.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50One question away.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Kevin, here we go.

0:24:55 > 0:24:57The Black Eyed...

0:25:04 > 0:25:06Pandas.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09I'm sorry?

0:25:09 > 0:25:10The Black Eyed....

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Pandas?

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Black Eyed Pandas.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Is the wrong answer.

0:25:24 > 0:25:29- Have you got anything you'd like to say to Kevin before we move on?- No.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41What started out as a day's shopping

0:25:41 > 0:25:45turned into a nerve-jangling win-a-car quiz for our unlucky couples.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Time then to reveal that if it seems too good to be true -

0:25:48 > 0:25:50it probably is.

0:25:50 > 0:25:53He is not any idiot, right? He is actually an actor.

0:25:53 > 0:25:58You have been on Richard Hammond's Secret Service for the BBC.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Would you like to give them a little wave?

0:26:02 > 0:26:04Say hello.

0:26:04 > 0:26:08LAUGHTER

0:26:09 > 0:26:13That is...that is awful! That is quite bad.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15You've got one already.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18I ain't got a car, what are you trying to nick my keys for?

0:26:18 > 0:26:20What's wrong with him?

0:26:25 > 0:26:27APPLAUSE

0:26:30 > 0:26:31Now...

0:26:31 > 0:26:36there are people who love being the centre of attention, they need it -

0:26:36 > 0:26:39not me, of course, I'm very modest and really quite shy.

0:26:39 > 0:26:44# It's Richard Hammond's Secret Service! #

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Yes, yes, thanks for that(!) Yeah.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50In this next mission, we meet a young man, though,

0:26:50 > 0:26:54who truly craves the limelight, unlike me...

0:26:55 > 0:26:57..really.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59LAUGHTER

0:27:00 > 0:27:03That man over there is Scott - he's a roofer from Kent

0:27:03 > 0:27:07on what he thinks is a normal call-out to quote on fixing

0:27:07 > 0:27:11a leaky roof at a small TV studio. It's not a normal call out...

0:27:11 > 0:27:15- Yeah, yeah, sure. Sorry, mate, what was it?- Scott.- Hello, I'm Sy...

0:27:15 > 0:27:18..because we were contacted by Scott's best friend Warren

0:27:18 > 0:27:19asking for our help.

0:27:19 > 0:27:23He says that Scott loves being the centre of attention and is

0:27:23 > 0:27:28impossible to embarrass - he's wants us to find a way to "show him up".

0:27:28 > 0:27:31It shouldn't be a problem, as Scott is on a call-out with a difference.

0:27:31 > 0:27:35The studio he's walked into is full of agents pretending to film

0:27:35 > 0:27:38a German music show called Popmusik.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Scott waits patiently for the owner,

0:27:40 > 0:27:42but he's not the only one running late...

0:27:42 > 0:27:45The show is missing their star guest,

0:27:45 > 0:27:49German's number one pop sensation Jonny X, who doesn't really exist.

0:27:50 > 0:27:54You know we're short of bodies today. We need someone to stand in and do this.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57Hmm! Where could we find a stand-in at short notice?

0:27:57 > 0:27:59- Want me to get Scott in?- Yeah.

0:27:59 > 0:28:00Scott...

0:28:00 > 0:28:02we're just doing a little walk-through,

0:28:02 > 0:28:04we're a bit short of bodies in here,

0:28:04 > 0:28:07- would you mind sitting over there for us?- Where do you want me to sit?

0:28:07 > 0:28:10It's just for cameras and lights and stuff, thanks.

0:28:10 > 0:28:14- Sorry, these are our presenters - Heidi and Rudy.- Hello.

0:28:14 > 0:28:17This is Scott. Scott's just going to sit in for us.

0:28:17 > 0:28:21I'll give you a bit of an overview. This is a pop music show.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23Oh, so Scott is not part of the crew?

0:28:23 > 0:28:27- No, no, Scott's just in here for us, he's going to help us out.- Oh, OK.

0:28:27 > 0:28:29So, Scott, what are you here to fix?

0:28:29 > 0:28:32- The roof.- Just the roof?- Just the roof.- What is wrong with the roof?

0:28:32 > 0:28:34I don't know yet.

0:28:34 > 0:28:38Well, Scott is settling in nicely, just shooting the breeze.

0:28:38 > 0:28:42Time to find out more about this Jonny X character he's sitting in for.

0:28:42 > 0:28:46- Oh, my God, he's everywhere in Germany.- He's so popular... - Is he a singer?

0:28:46 > 0:28:50He's a singer, but he's like... How would you say? Like personality?

0:28:50 > 0:28:53He's so funny. He's so crazy funny.

0:28:53 > 0:28:56OK, once he calls the Chancellor Angela Schmerkel!

0:28:56 > 0:28:58That's not her name, you know -

0:28:58 > 0:29:02it's Merkel! You take the M off and put it with an S, you know?

0:29:02 > 0:29:06- Do you think that's funny? - Mmm, yeah.

0:29:06 > 0:29:10So we can't wait to interview him because, for us, it's our careers.

0:29:10 > 0:29:12It would rally help make us, like, um...

0:29:12 > 0:29:15Could you say "a name in the house" or the "household name"?

0:29:15 > 0:29:18Yes, a name in the household.

0:29:18 > 0:29:22- Like your Dec and Ant.- Oh, yeah, Ant and Dec.- No.- Dec and Ant.

0:29:22 > 0:29:24Dec Ant.

0:29:24 > 0:29:27- Dec Ant?- Ant and Dec, innit? - What is it?

0:29:27 > 0:29:31- Ant and Dec.- No, it's...- Ant and Dec.- No, but it's one person.

0:29:31 > 0:29:35- No, it's two people.- No?!

0:29:35 > 0:29:38- We thought it was... - No, it's two people.

0:29:38 > 0:29:41- You're having a joke with me! - No.- They look the same.

0:29:41 > 0:29:42What did you say?

0:29:42 > 0:29:44- They, what, look the same?- Yeah.

0:29:44 > 0:29:47- No, one's little, one's big, aren't they?- Jonny X.- Oh, my God.

0:29:47 > 0:29:49He looks like him. Do you think so, Rudy?

0:29:49 > 0:29:53Let me see. Yes, a little bit in the nose and the eyes and also in the mouth.

0:29:53 > 0:29:55It's a compliment because he is so hot.

0:29:57 > 0:30:00So, Scott is a dead ringer for Jonny X, who doesn't exist,

0:30:00 > 0:30:02but I wonder if he sounds like him?

0:30:02 > 0:30:05Don't suppose you do a German accent, do you?

0:30:05 > 0:30:07Jonny X is going to be doing it with a German accent.

0:30:07 > 0:30:09Give me a German accent.

0:30:09 > 0:30:13TOGETHER: Ain't no stopping, let's get rocking!

0:30:13 > 0:30:17- GERMAN ACCENT:- Ain't no stopping, let's get rocking!

0:30:17 > 0:30:18Is that all right, Sound?

0:30:18 > 0:30:20He's not scared of anything!

0:30:20 > 0:30:22When you're ready, take it away.

0:30:22 > 0:30:23Cue!

0:30:23 > 0:30:27I'm here with Jonny X in the studio. What do you say, Jonny?

0:30:27 > 0:30:29- GERMAN ACCENT:- Ain't no stopping, let's get rocking!

0:30:29 > 0:30:33Yeah, boy, that's right! Check out Jonny X on Popmusik,

0:30:33 > 0:30:38Saturday nights at Smash Bang TV Now, but better!

0:30:38 > 0:30:40Good, great stuff, guys, thank you very much there for Sound.

0:30:40 > 0:30:43You're so good, you know, you really are a natural.

0:30:43 > 0:30:46- Have you ever thought of a change in career?- Not really, no.

0:30:46 > 0:30:50Jonny's running late as usual, so we're going to keep going through

0:30:50 > 0:30:52and doing some more links if that's all right?

0:30:52 > 0:30:54RUDY: This is typical Jonny X.

0:30:54 > 0:30:58I told you if you're going to do anything live with him he'll be a nightmare.

0:30:58 > 0:31:01Well, Scott is here - maybe if you just ask him some questions

0:31:01 > 0:31:05- and you give him any old responses, that'll be really useful. - Just make something up?

0:31:05 > 0:31:06Yeah, thanks for bearing with us, guys....

0:31:06 > 0:31:10Yeah, it's all perfectly normal Scott, this kind of thing happens to a roofer a lot(!)

0:31:10 > 0:31:12Ain't no stopping, let's get rocking!

0:31:12 > 0:31:15Hey, Rudy, ain't no stopping, let's get rocking!

0:31:15 > 0:31:20Yeah, so, guys, we have been keeping a little shhh-shhh secret from you.

0:31:20 > 0:31:26Shhh! It's a super secret, this guest - it's only blinking Jonny X!

0:31:26 > 0:31:29THEY CHEER

0:31:29 > 0:31:33Jonny X, you are live to eight million German fans,

0:31:33 > 0:31:37not forgetting all those fans watching in Norway, Holland and Luxembourg.

0:31:37 > 0:31:39So what have you got to say to them?

0:31:40 > 0:31:42Hi!

0:31:42 > 0:31:46Hi to Luxembourg especially - you are particularly honoured.

0:31:46 > 0:31:51- We have been told you are going to be starring in the German remake of Batman!- Ja!

0:31:51 > 0:31:56Ja, with none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger's cousin!

0:31:56 > 0:32:01What do you play in the movie and could you tell us a little bit about the plot?

0:32:01 > 0:32:04- Yes, I play the Penguin. - Oh, the Penguin.- The Penguin, yeah.

0:32:04 > 0:32:08- Oh, my God.- I can't say much about the plot until it's shown so...

0:32:08 > 0:32:10Do you have a super-cool costume?

0:32:10 > 0:32:15- Yes, super-cool, I have to waddle around and stuff. - Oh, that's so great.

0:32:15 > 0:32:19Wow! How did you manage to embody the character of a penguin?

0:32:19 > 0:32:23I spent a bit of time in London Zoo with the penguins.

0:32:23 > 0:32:25- So you are totally method? - Method.- Method, yeah.

0:32:25 > 0:32:30Scott immediately settles into the role of international superstar -

0:32:30 > 0:32:31completely unfazed.

0:32:31 > 0:32:34- There's another thing that Jonny X is very good at.- Oh, ja!

0:32:34 > 0:32:39We've been having demands from all our viewers to see the famous Jonny X bum wiggle.

0:32:39 > 0:32:40TOGETHER! Ja!

0:32:40 > 0:32:43Heidi and ich have been practising this all day -

0:32:43 > 0:32:46you can judge this for us, so if we bend down...

0:32:46 > 0:32:49- Tell us what was the best one. - Drei, zwei, eins!

0:32:49 > 0:32:51Jonny X!

0:32:51 > 0:32:54Perhaps you can show us how it is really done?

0:32:54 > 0:32:55Go on, now.

0:32:55 > 0:32:57Three, two, one!

0:32:57 > 0:33:00Jonny X!

0:33:00 > 0:33:04OK, I'll admit, he doesn't look even remotely embarrassed right now,

0:33:04 > 0:33:05so let's try something else.

0:33:05 > 0:33:09Oh, it's the famous moon-walking that you do with the military style.

0:33:09 > 0:33:13- Would you like to show us, Jonny X? We are dying to see.- Yeah.

0:33:13 > 0:33:15Yeah, show us your moon-walk.

0:33:17 > 0:33:21He's moon-walking! Now this man might just be impossible to crack!

0:33:21 > 0:33:24He's bum-wiggled and moon-walked without even a hint of embarrassment.

0:33:24 > 0:33:29We're set now for the big performance piece, so I want all hands on deck here, please.

0:33:29 > 0:33:30It's crucial we do this rapidly.

0:33:30 > 0:33:34Now preparations are under way for the real Jonny X's live performance.

0:33:34 > 0:33:37We've got to hustle like this, because when we're doing this live...

0:33:37 > 0:33:41Scott, can we just put a couple of bits and bobs on you for the cameras?

0:33:41 > 0:33:43Just come over this way with me.

0:33:43 > 0:33:46This is Jonny X's actual outfit.

0:33:46 > 0:33:49Ah, Scott seems, once again, to have no problem at all stepping

0:33:49 > 0:33:53into his shoes, and his entire outfit, for the final camera checks.

0:33:53 > 0:33:55Jonny is still not here, OK?

0:33:55 > 0:33:58- What time do we go on? - Can I get checks out here, please?

0:33:58 > 0:34:02Can people be busy? Come on! Right, so how long have we got?

0:34:02 > 0:34:04He's here to mend a leaky roof, remember?

0:34:04 > 0:34:07The atmosphere in the studio seems to have gone downhill -

0:34:07 > 0:34:12they need Scott to step in and actually perform live as Jonny,

0:34:12 > 0:34:16and, yep, it looks like Scott is finally feeling the pressure, is he?

0:34:16 > 0:34:17Yeah, yeah, just...

0:34:17 > 0:34:19No, he's not.

0:34:19 > 0:34:22OK, guys, we're coming in in ten seconds, please.

0:34:22 > 0:34:24Everyone on this. Ten seconds.

0:34:24 > 0:34:27I would be running by now...away.

0:34:27 > 0:34:28Seven, six...

0:34:28 > 0:34:29He's going to do it.

0:34:29 > 0:34:32Quiet on the floor! Four, three...

0:34:34 > 0:34:36TOGETHER: Willkommen!

0:34:36 > 0:34:38Willkommen to Popmusik!

0:34:38 > 0:34:40We are so excited,

0:34:40 > 0:34:47so please welcome live in London, Jonny X!

0:34:50 > 0:34:53MUSIC STARTS

0:34:57 > 0:34:59Energy, guys.

0:34:59 > 0:35:05What's this guy's nerves made of? He is actually smiling for the cameras, he is.

0:35:05 > 0:35:08# Hey, hey, Papa, give me your loving!

0:35:08 > 0:35:12# Cos I'm gonna give you something

0:35:12 > 0:35:17# Hey, hey, Papa, gonna give you something. #

0:35:19 > 0:35:21He's actually enjoying himself.

0:35:21 > 0:35:25As far as he's concerned, on live TV,

0:35:25 > 0:35:28singing a song he's never heard from a pop star who doesn't exist.

0:35:28 > 0:35:29# Hey, hey, Papa! #

0:35:29 > 0:35:31Louder, please, louder.

0:35:35 > 0:35:38BAD SONG CONTINUES

0:35:39 > 0:35:41HE MUMBLES

0:35:55 > 0:35:58# Schnell, schnell It's gonna drive you crazy

0:36:00 > 0:36:03# I think I'm in love, I think I'm in love

0:36:03 > 0:36:06# With you... #

0:36:08 > 0:36:09I can't believe we got that.

0:36:12 > 0:36:16We threw everything at him that we could and he didn't even break a sweat,

0:36:16 > 0:36:20and here's his mate Warren to tell him it's all been a big set-up.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31You've been on BBC1's Richard Hammond's Secret Service.

0:36:31 > 0:36:34I think he deserves a massive round of applause.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36Guys, let's all do the bum wiggle!

0:36:36 > 0:36:39Scott came to the studio today to fix a leaky roof,

0:36:39 > 0:36:45but ended up passing himself off as Germany's number one fake pop star in style.

0:36:45 > 0:36:48- GERMAN ACCENT:- Ain't no stopping, let's get rocking!

0:36:48 > 0:36:49And rock he did...

0:36:51 > 0:36:53Jonny X!

0:36:53 > 0:36:58..rounding the day off by performing live on TV across Europe.

0:36:58 > 0:37:00We set out to embarrass him...

0:37:00 > 0:37:02and we failed miserably.

0:37:02 > 0:37:04It's a £65 call-out charge.

0:37:11 > 0:37:13That is...

0:37:14 > 0:37:18That is Secret Service's missions complete for another week.

0:37:18 > 0:37:19What have we learnt?

0:37:19 > 0:37:24Well, we've learnt that putting a big bum on someone's house isn't all it's CRACKED up to be...

0:37:24 > 0:37:25Yeah.

0:37:25 > 0:37:27..and a talking dog is nothing to worry about,

0:37:27 > 0:37:29although barking people should still be avoided,

0:37:29 > 0:37:32and that pretty much anyone can get a No.1 in Germany.

0:37:32 > 0:37:36Case closed.

0:37:36 > 0:37:38But let's not forget, ladies and gentlemen,

0:37:38 > 0:37:40one last thing to do and it's the most important -

0:37:40 > 0:37:43a massive round of applause, please, for the real stars of the show.

0:37:43 > 0:37:46APPLAUSE

0:37:46 > 0:37:47Come on out. Come on out.

0:38:02 > 0:38:05Until next time, citizens, take care.

0:38:13 > 0:38:16If you have a mission for the Secret Service and would like to apply,

0:38:16 > 0:38:17then visit...

0:38:39 > 0:38:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd