0:00:28 > 0:00:33It's BBC Three's brand-new chat show,
0:00:33 > 0:00:38it's bonkers Dizzee Rascal...
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Saturday, Rochelle Humes...
0:00:41 > 0:00:43And funny man Johnny Vegas.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Welcome to Staying In. Dizzee, what an honour to have you on the show.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57No, Greg, you shook the fist!
0:00:57 > 0:01:01That's a violation, brother.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Sorry. He shook the fist. I'm sorry,
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Johnny Vegas. Yeah. What a legend.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17Nice to meet you, Johnny. Cheers. And also, Rochelle, welcome.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Oh, for Christ's sake, Greg. JOHNNY: It's just like being at home!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37..people think that's such an obvious joke they're not laughing.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40What they don't realise is the fridge has just genuinely broken.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45A glass of champers for you.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Do I look like that kind of girl?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Johnny, we tried to get some
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Well, it was one of the first drinks
0:02:07 > 0:02:09you know, in a pop bottle. Draught?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11There's something about sherry more
0:02:18 > 0:02:29Walking around with this? Yes. "It makes the fat man thin!"
0:02:40 > 0:02:44I drank a gallon of that earlier, as research, and now I've got the runs.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47What is your favourite drink?
0:02:49 > 0:02:53I order pineapple mixed with
0:02:53 > 0:02:55I'll just check the fridge(!)
0:02:55 > 0:02:58you've recently had a baby.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06Cheers to that. I can drink again. A lot of my friends are dropping,
0:03:06 > 0:03:10types of mums, the mums that never
0:03:13 > 0:03:16And the mum that goes, "He's two
0:03:16 > 0:03:20Are you somewhere in between? Are you getting nights off?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24I freak out unless it's my mum or my mother-in-law looking after her,
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I sort of freak out with anyone
0:03:32 > 0:03:35She's like, "Rochelle, I did go
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Dare we ask about Marvin himself?
0:03:51 > 0:03:55off chicken korma for life.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58He's really good, actually, in fairness to him. He's good.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05and you go, "It's not right!
0:04:05 > 0:04:08"Look at the way the head is!
0:04:10 > 0:04:14a newborn baby where I think the
0:04:14 > 0:04:16They've got the soft bit in the
0:04:21 > 0:04:25You're not holding my baby.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31but we got one. It is a cute
0:04:44 > 0:04:48I've got friends. I don't do that with them! Yeah. The joke is,
0:04:58 > 0:05:06It's the next natural step, really.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10Dizzee, do you baby-sit? Are you a good baby-sitter? Not really, no.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14If you left me with the kids,
0:05:14 > 0:05:18I'll tell you something quite inspiring, for a lot of the ladies,
0:05:18 > 0:05:22is how Marvin found you quite hot when you were up the duff. A lot of
0:05:22 > 0:05:26"You won't fancy me when I'm pregnant!" He just said it cos the
0:05:29 > 0:05:33cos we've got a gorgeous picture
0:05:49 > 0:05:53I met my wife, and she googled me and that popped up, and she's like,
0:05:53 > 0:05:56"I think you've made a huge
0:05:59 > 0:06:02you're knackered, and I had my top
0:06:06 > 0:06:10Rochelle, we've got to say massive congratulations to you and your boy,
0:06:10 > 0:06:14he's just got the gig on The Voice.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Dizzee, you did Must Be The Music. Did you find it hard to judge people?
0:06:24 > 0:06:27It's better to give feedback.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30I didn't like when I had to tell people they weren't that good.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37You've worked with will.i.am.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41She still calls him Will 1am.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44He's a bit of a legend. He is.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46I've been in the studio with him
0:06:46 > 0:06:52but we didn't finish the song.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57"I don't like to be one of those and then goes to another room.
0:06:57 > 0:07:03and he went to the other room.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09where we started and where we are.
0:07:09 > 0:07:19Dizzee, one of your first jobs was
0:07:19 > 0:07:24putting letters in envelopes. It was like labouring. It was crap.
0:07:24 > 0:07:34We've done that. Have you done
0:07:34 > 0:07:38Johnny, what were some of your first jobs? I had a few. I worked in Argos
0:07:43 > 0:07:46No... Sorry to cut you, but... I've not been in there for years.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Do you remember getting the thing
0:07:49 > 0:07:52and your mum's like "You can have
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Well, I can pull it back for you cos I used to have nosebleeds
0:08:02 > 0:08:08And there'd be people downstairs, It's a fucking extension lead!
0:08:09 > 0:08:14Didn't you want to be a priest
0:08:20 > 0:08:25I went away to train for the priesthood. You didn't? Oh, my God.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32all the wrong things you've done.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37It's not a problem you can't
0:08:37 > 0:08:39because have a look at this.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Look at those trousers.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51After that somebody came on and
0:08:51 > 0:08:56a pop star? A priest? No...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00No, I did actually. Always.
0:09:00 > 0:09:05sort of selling tickets to my mum.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Doing a gig in the kitchen?
0:09:10 > 0:09:14How old were you in S Club Juniors,
0:09:14 > 0:09:17Would you like to relive the magic? I really wouldn't, so please.
0:09:24 > 0:09:36# One step closer to heaven, baby,
0:10:05 > 0:10:15Sit anywhere you like. Take a seat.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Deckchairs are a good look for me.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I'm not going to Instagram it now.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Can you get a picture of us three?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41I'll photo-bomb in the background. Wait there. Go on the swing, Johnny.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58if it wasn't for Dizzee Rascal
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Greg even had to do work experience
0:11:11 > 0:11:16It was hell. But you look like you're having a lot of fun in this video.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18# ..And I like it funky... # Order!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Surely there must be some more
0:11:24 > 0:11:26Oh, yes, there are, my Lord.
0:11:34 > 0:11:40# I love it when the bad girls
0:11:48 > 0:11:53How did you get Jon Snow to do that?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Do you know what's mad? I turned up
0:11:56 > 0:11:59No-one told me he was going to be
0:12:18 > 0:12:23Oh, no, he ain't on the album.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Now, who would be your ultimate collaboration? Give us some names.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Right now, um, I quite like
0:12:32 > 0:12:36I listened to her album recently. She's great. A wicked album.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41What about Tom Jones? Cos I've been doing my reading! Do you know what?
0:12:43 > 0:12:47but I'd just like to sit down
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I've been on a plane with him and heard a few stories. Have you?
0:12:56 > 0:13:01What about the guys in the headlines this week? Kanye West - would you ever want to collaborate with him?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04He's crazy to watch on interviews.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10Did you hear his interview this week?
0:13:12 > 0:13:17And he said, the quote was, "I'm the biggest rock star on the planet."
0:13:17 > 0:13:22The biggest rock star on the planet?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27I know Michael Buble was very upset.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30I don't know, I've never seen him
0:13:32 > 0:13:35What about Robbie? Are you a fan of
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Yeah. He's a good dude to sit down
0:13:38 > 0:13:42He's actually all right. He's cool.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Yeah, we made a video. We shot it in
0:13:49 > 0:13:52That's the Mayor of Dalston.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Does he get up and have Coco Pops
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Do you know what? He's like a really
0:14:02 > 0:14:10in a very...amazing, like, movie That's what his house is like.
0:14:14 > 0:14:22He's got a posse. He's got his wife
0:14:22 > 0:14:27No way. He does this radio show every day. I've never heard you say
0:14:27 > 0:14:32"Summon my posse immediately!"
0:14:33 > 0:14:37He used to hang around with Tupac, and you'd never imagine that.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56"How do you feel about...?" Just...
0:14:56 > 0:15:02Well, you know what? I mean... Why don't you just have done with it
0:15:08 > 0:15:13because that was... You can't after a conversation like that, can you?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I want one of those monkeys.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27What? My... DEEP VOICE: ..monkey?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30So many people come up and go,
0:15:30 > 0:15:33And you go... DEEP VOICE: OK.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37My little lad, when I used to drop
0:15:44 > 0:15:48"No, the one where you live
0:15:51 > 0:15:54the nature of a puppet, and then
0:15:54 > 0:15:58he gets the bit where, "No, it's
0:16:00 > 0:16:03You're making some cool videos
0:16:03 > 0:16:05but me and Greg just wondered why...
0:16:07 > 0:16:09we were cut from the final version.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Let's have a look at the uncut version. I think we nailed it.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14# Every day's a never-ending
0:16:53 > 0:17:02# Effortlessly power steering accurately ready for action
0:17:09 > 0:17:16# Every day's a never-ending
0:17:26 > 0:17:30you always lording it up like that?
0:17:40 > 0:17:44said that his favourite moment was when Prince William lent over
0:17:44 > 0:17:47to him and said that you were the Queen's favourite act...
0:17:57 > 0:18:00In fact, we've actually got proof that she enjoyed the performance.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Now, Diz, we couldn't help but notice in that video you were absolutely
0:18:15 > 0:18:19incredible at throwing a pineapple over your head into a bucket.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Do you want to have a go, Johnny?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Bucket's on the pool table.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58and I've just smashed a phone booth and the police are pulling up.
0:18:58 > 0:19:09to hit the bin. Are you ready?
0:20:11 > 0:20:15See, Johnny, this is the life, right? This is quality. Quality time.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20I've fished for years - all my life.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I'm on a caster-maggot mix.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Just in case, we brought some of
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I thought it was pilau rice. I dunked a bhaji in it. You know what you've to do on a cold day?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45so when you put them on the hook
0:20:45 > 0:20:48and you put them in the water,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51you had quite a creative way
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Yeah. You get a bit of carcass from
0:20:55 > 0:20:58and I stuck it in the outside loo
0:20:58 > 0:21:00and waited for the flies to come.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I'll harvest me own maggots!"
0:21:03 > 0:21:06But nobody every used the outside
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Me dad went in one day for a shit and he ran out like Michael Caine in
0:21:10 > 0:21:13There was, like, 1,000 bluebottles
0:21:13 > 0:21:17pants-round-the-ankles, "Agh!"
0:21:17 > 0:21:20We've got one. Mind the magic of...
0:21:31 > 0:21:34That is the bra that, one day,
0:21:35 > 0:21:39So, you weren't always that adept at handling a bra, were you?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I was never adept with women.
0:21:41 > 0:21:49First of all, you used women to
0:22:22 > 0:22:27"Right, we're going to be the sexiest damn man in the room."
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Well, when I was Michael Pennington,
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Because I had this alter ego that was in my head for such a long time,
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Johnny was super confident.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46but the minute Johnny got out
0:22:46 > 0:22:49he couldn't wait to get going.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56sponsored me to go to Edinburgh
0:22:56 > 0:22:59and I did the heat, got through
0:22:59 > 0:23:02pissed up all me money that night,
0:23:02 > 0:23:05so I had no money to get drunk
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Yeah, I went out as me, as Michael Pennington, and I died on me arse.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14It was the worst... Bob Mortimer...
0:23:17 > 0:23:20and I walked out and basically
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I pulled me notes out from me pocket
0:23:25 > 0:23:27"It's a letter off me mum,"
0:23:27 > 0:23:30and I thought, "I've turned
0:23:33 > 0:23:35It was the quietest five minutes
0:23:35 > 0:23:39and that was the night I vowed I'd
0:23:42 > 0:23:46telly was on Shooting Stars,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49you were always there with a pint,
0:23:49 > 0:23:52and that was your thing, but I'm
0:23:52 > 0:23:53You were absolutely pissed.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59"Do you need us for anything?"
0:23:59 > 0:24:03They'd go, "No, just go to the bar. We want you pissed before we start
0:24:03 > 0:24:10You were their plaything. I loved it.
0:24:10 > 0:24:17"We're going to shoot you with a tranquiliser." "All right, then."
0:24:17 > 0:24:24"How was your day at work?"
0:24:26 > 0:24:29You can't complain when your dad's just come off a building site
0:24:29 > 0:24:40and you're going, "Oh, it was a tough one last night, Dad.
0:24:40 > 0:24:47getting off with a girl and something traumatic happened. Yeah.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51I'd got off with this girl.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00And you think it's dead cute?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Next thing, there's something
0:25:06 > 0:25:09"Jesus, she's lost a tooth."
0:25:09 > 0:25:12And it was only when I spat it out
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Suddenly, I could smell vomit on it
0:25:22 > 0:25:25And then I felt this dampness
0:25:25 > 0:25:28She hadn't done a beer burp - she'd just pulled me in close
0:25:28 > 0:25:30so she could throw up down me back.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38and trying to explain to Mum how I'd threw up over me own shoulder.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Greg, is there something floating
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Hold that a sec cos it looks gross.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55I had a pet rabbit called Blackie.
0:25:57 > 0:26:01Had it been allowed, we'd have
0:26:05 > 0:26:06..turned up and wiggled his nose,
0:26:06 > 0:26:10and I would have known that people
0:26:14 > 0:26:17Cos I was going to school one day
0:26:17 > 0:26:18"Whose rabbit's going in the pot?"
0:26:18 > 0:26:24And I thought he was joking
0:26:26 > 0:26:29and I went, "Dad, where's Blackie?"
0:26:33 > 0:26:45Somebody must be in trouble.
0:26:55 > 0:27:03in a bag to play with, and the tail.
0:27:03 > 0:27:10"Christ Almighty, it's like having
0:27:12 > 0:27:15And they rang home and they went,
0:27:15 > 0:27:17"Do you know your child's got bits of an animal carcass?"
0:27:24 > 0:27:27I'm so sorry I brought it up.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32That makes it a lot better(!)
0:27:34 > 0:27:37fall for a rabbit, they die.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Greg, what did you tune this into?
0:27:47 > 0:27:51# When you hear the sirens coming I can hear the sirens coming
0:27:51 > 0:27:54# Better run when you hear them
0:27:56 > 0:27:59VOICEOVER: Greg FM and Russell FM.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I'm here with Dizzee Rascal,
0:28:06 > 0:28:08you're no stranger to pirate radio.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10you and I are quite similar.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Some of mine were, too, to be fair.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28You must have enjoyed doing
0:28:30 > 0:28:33I was still in school, so when I first started I'd go and do it.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35I'd have the... One in the morning
0:28:38 > 0:28:41like, "Oh, did you hear it?"
0:28:41 > 0:28:43But then I'd work my way up to
0:28:43 > 0:28:46if you hadn't got into music?
0:28:46 > 0:28:50What were your other passions
0:28:50 > 0:28:51I... You know what? Honestly,
0:28:51 > 0:28:53I didn't really have too many
0:28:53 > 0:28:54other than maybe athletics.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44Don't you...? You like that song,
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Who doesn't love Whigfield,
0:29:54 > 0:29:58We've got to sort out our radio show. We've got to sort out the playlist.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05'Greg and Russell's p-p-p-playlist.'
0:30:07 > 0:30:11So, we can only choose one of each
0:30:11 > 0:30:14I was wondering if you could help us
0:30:28 > 0:30:31The best thing I've seen of his show
0:30:31 > 0:30:35and he had a guy dressed in a dog costume. I was there.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37He had, like, a 5-ft spliff,
0:30:37 > 0:30:39That day, that guy woke up going,
0:30:39 > 0:30:42"That's what I'm doing today."
0:30:42 > 0:30:45I didn't even know you could
0:30:45 > 0:30:49Turn up at the party. POSH VOICE:
0:30:51 > 0:30:54It's Florence + The Machine
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Oh, why are you doing this to me?
0:30:58 > 0:31:01They'll collaborate. Exactly.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16He did... Tinchy actually said of you that you always stood out.
0:31:16 > 0:31:20"Some people stand out without trying, and Dizzee was like that."
0:32:00 > 0:32:04You better believe this girl
0:32:04 > 0:32:07Now what's your name? Billie.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12I'm going to connect you to Dizzee. You're a big fan, aren't you?
0:32:12 > 0:32:14a question to ask him. I have.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17Dizzee, can you hear us on the line?
0:32:19 > 0:32:23I must ask how much you're worth.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30Dress it up, why don't you?
0:32:32 > 0:32:35your First Direct statement?"
0:32:39 > 0:32:42I'm just going to turn on the
0:32:47 > 0:32:51This year, I haven't bought anything too big. I'm stacking for next year.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Who have we got on the line? Peter.
0:33:03 > 0:33:04Yes, Liverpool in the house.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09What's the most embarrassing thing
0:33:13 > 0:33:16..on Instagram, like, virals of people fucking up, basically
0:33:16 > 0:33:19and then I thought, "Why don't I find the time I fell off stage?"
0:33:21 > 0:33:24And I'm giving everyone permission to go and look at it now and have a
0:33:24 > 0:33:27good laugh cos that's definitely the most embarrassing thing that
0:33:31 > 0:33:34I was DJing, as well and that was the talk of the night. It was ridiculous.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36My arms were like a cartwheel.
0:33:37 > 0:33:42What happened? I was introducing
0:33:43 > 0:33:45And everything was all popping off.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48It was all great and I didn't see
0:33:48 > 0:33:50for some reason, even though
0:33:53 > 0:33:57Can I have your permission to show it to the nation? Go through, man.
0:34:09 > 0:34:14Do you want a hand with that wire?
0:34:14 > 0:34:28Have you got a question for Dizzee? I have, yeah. Hello, is that Dizzee?
0:34:28 > 0:34:33whether I should just put them
0:34:36 > 0:34:39Because I've heard there might be
0:34:39 > 0:34:42And obviously I want a ripe
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Oh, you really want an answer? Yeah.
0:34:50 > 0:34:54compost or a bone meal mix?
0:34:54 > 0:34:57You sound like you've got all
0:34:59 > 0:35:02What's your favourite karaoke song?
0:35:09 > 0:35:14go for I Will Survive. Nope.
0:35:15 > 0:35:19THE best karaoke song ever,
0:35:34 > 0:35:37This is where all the magic happens.
0:35:40 > 0:35:41Rochelle, you're a new mum.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Greg and I are going to attempt
0:35:43 > 0:35:46sleep by reading you a story.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54In this story, there are some blanks
0:35:54 > 0:35:57based on the knowledge you have of each other from tonight's show.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Once upon a time there lived
0:36:02 > 0:36:06were in a band called the Saturdays.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09They were called Rochelle...
0:36:13 > 0:36:18..Maggie Philbin, Chris Tarrant
0:36:36 > 0:36:40Noel Edmonds was in the Saturdays.
0:36:45 > 0:36:58way more hilarious than her husband,
0:36:58 > 0:37:01But Rochelle was a bit grossed out by the most outrageous thing
0:37:01 > 0:37:03he's ever done, which is...?
0:37:04 > 0:37:07Is it something on stage you normally wouldn't do on stage?
0:37:07 > 0:37:12to the toilet on stage? You didn't.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22Did you really? I did, but...
0:37:34 > 0:37:37I had a guy come in reviewing me
0:37:37 > 0:37:39"Are you the comedy reviewer?"
0:37:39 > 0:37:41"No, I normally do the pet shows."
0:37:41 > 0:37:43I went, "Are you kidding?" He went,
0:37:43 > 0:37:48a joke I squeezed out the tiniest...
0:37:54 > 0:37:57The Beast asked Beauty to marry him
0:37:57 > 0:38:00They lived happily ever after.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13Thanks very much for staying
0:38:13 > 0:38:16We'll have more amazing guests coming over simply to stay in.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20it's the wonderful Dizzee Rascal.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27You all discovered my name is
0:38:43 > 0:38:48# Every day's a never-ending
0:39:00 > 0:39:13# Leather extra crispy, effortlessly
0:39:18 > 0:39:19# Steer clear of the rat trap
0:39:19 > 0:39:20# Some say that I lack tact
0:39:27 > 0:39:30and that's what's happening
0:39:40 > 0:39:42# Every day's a never-ending
0:39:54 > 0:39:56# Everyday life can't stress me
0:39:56 > 0:39:57# Stay on the ball like Messi
0:39:57 > 0:39:58# Money and women are the only
0:39:59 > 0:40:01and all the girls wanna check me
0:40:01 > 0:40:03# How much do you want to bet me
0:40:04 > 0:40:05# I ain't gotta talk no more
0:40:05 > 0:40:06# Cos soon as I walk in the door
0:40:10 > 0:40:12calling for, been balling for?
0:40:12 > 0:40:14stays up in the morning for
0:40:16 > 0:40:18# I got the flow and I've got the dough and money to blow
0:40:18 > 0:40:20# And this ain't a slow jam, ready to rock and I'm ready to roll
0:40:21 > 0:40:22# Never gonna get caught slipping Never gonna get caught tripping
0:40:22 > 0:40:23# Never too soft on the women
0:40:23 > 0:40:25# If it ever gets too hot in the
0:40:25 > 0:40:28# I ain't gonna stand there
0:40:36 > 0:40:39# Every day's a never-ending
0:40:49 > 0:40:50# International, flex and go
0:40:50 > 0:40:51# When I'm at home, I stay low
0:40:56 > 0:40:58# When I'm cutting the cheques
0:41:02 > 0:41:03# I'll leave you breathing slow
0:41:21 > 0:41:27# Every day's a never-ending