0:00:03 > 0:00:05Tonight on Staying In With Greg Russell - foul-mouthed Geordie
0:00:05 > 0:00:08and Celebrity Big Brother winner Charlotte Crosby...
0:00:08 > 0:00:10I had sex just before I came here.
0:00:11 > 0:00:15..star of Bad Education - posh funnyman Jack Whitehall..
0:00:15 > 0:00:17He has a family, that guy!
0:00:18 > 0:00:21..clubland queen Katy B... He was like, "Get out!"
0:00:21 > 0:00:24And we were, like, singing in his face.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27..and Jackass prankster Johnny Knoxville.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30Yes, I broke my penis. There, it happened.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32This programme contains some strong language
0:00:43 > 0:00:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Aaay!
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Hiya. Hiya.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01Hi, everybody. GIRLS: Hi.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Jack, hey, over here.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06Mate, treating this like The Voice - I only turn round
0:01:06 > 0:01:07if I like what I hear.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08LAUGHTER
0:01:08 > 0:01:11What's the first question? Do you want a drink? Oh, yes, actually
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I'll get you a drink. A little champers for you.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Welcome to our pad. Are you enjoying it? It's nice! Lovely.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21It makes us feel very comfortable, mind.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Yeah? Apart from the camels are freaking us out a bit.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28Why, does it make you think about your leggings being too tight? LAUGHTER
0:01:31 > 0:01:33I normally get camel toe.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37Katy, we've got you a nice rum cocktail. Oh, my favourite.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39I know what you're like, your reputation,
0:01:39 > 0:01:42there's an orange squash for you. Are you kidding us?
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Know you're doing the non-drinking thing, so we didn't want to...
0:01:45 > 0:01:47lead you off the... LAUGHTER
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Only joking. YES! In a bucket?
0:01:51 > 0:01:54GEORDIE ACCENT: We got you a great big bucket of slop, man.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57CHEERING
0:02:00 > 0:02:02We did want to serve the Geordie serving
0:02:02 > 0:02:05but the BBC wouldn't let us do it for health and safety,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08but we went to the trouble of ordering the Geordie version
0:02:10 > 0:02:14Stick it in, man. Is this an actual straw? Don't drink it!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Are you kidding us?! That looks like toilet water!
0:02:17 > 0:02:21That's because Greg used it for colonic irrigation earlier.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Has it actually got alcohol in Give it a go.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27No, don't because it is clashing with my spray tan.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29So anyway, so nice to have you all on the show,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31so nice to have you in our little house.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Are you a good housemate, Katy B? What are you like to live with
0:02:33 > 0:02:35SHE SIGHS
0:02:35 > 0:02:40I don't... I've only ever lived with my family and on my own, so...
0:02:40 > 0:02:43And the reason why I live on my own is because I am very messy.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47Do you leave a trail of outfit from where you've come in through the front?
0:02:47 > 0:02:51I often wake up and it's like I ve melted in the hallway, just everything I was in...
0:02:51 > 0:02:52The shape of me just like that
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I always manage to take all my clothes off...
0:02:55 > 0:03:00Don't, I've got a boner. Stop. Give me a second.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Jack, we have stereotypes, we imagine you living...
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Do you sort of close one wing of the house down to avoid mess
0:03:07 > 0:03:09No...
0:03:09 > 0:03:13I live with a man who's very practical.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17He's my flatmate, he's a builder, so he does all the man's tasks
0:03:17 > 0:03:19and I feel so emasculated every day.
0:03:19 > 0:03:20I can't do anything.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24I went to buy paint from Homebase, and I found the event so stressful
0:03:24 > 0:03:27that I got a migraine and had to go and lie down on garden furniture.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32You're very similar like that, aren't you? Can you change a tyre?
0:03:32 > 0:03:35Put a shelf up? I can't do anything, I'd love to be like that.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36That's why you work as a couple
0:03:36 > 0:03:40because you're the perfect blend of silk and steel.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Sexuality and practicality.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44You would hold the girl close and talk to her about her feelings,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47and Greg could bleed the radiator.
0:03:47 > 0:03:48Dressed in cricket gear.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49With that shirt,
0:03:49 > 0:03:55you do look quite like a dad on a sun date this evening.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57You could walk a dog... That is really nice.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59You lived with your mum and dad till quite recently,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02because you had the sort of career really taking off
0:04:02 > 0:04:05but still living with your mum and dad, which is quite rare.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06What was that like?
0:04:06 > 0:04:08It wasn't ideal at times.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10You know, I was trying to be kind of rock 'n' roll and stuff
0:04:10 > 0:04:13because I tried to be really rebellious when I was living at home
0:04:13 > 0:04:15and it was so pathetic. I remember I bought a leather jacket
0:04:15 > 0:04:17and I thought it was the coolest thing ever
0:04:17 > 0:04:19because I'd be walking around in my leather jacket,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22"Look at him, he's dangerous, he's wearing a leather jacket.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I took it off once, at home, I put it on the sofa.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26My mum got hold of it and put a name tape inside it.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28LAUGHTER
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Really defeats the object.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34Now, we have to ask about your house habits, because you
0:04:34 > 0:04:37are a professional housemate, having won Celebrity Big Brother!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41CHEERING Thanks, everyone. Thanks.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Well played. Thanks. You've lived in two houses on TV - for TV.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51The Geordie Shore house, the Big Brother house, how do they compare?
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Totally different.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53The Geordie Shore house,
0:04:53 > 0:04:57you could walk along and it's like...an environment of pure sex.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00You've got like a condom with maybe some sperm in.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02And a cock in it, often.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Maybe, yeah, exactly. One side you've got some knickers.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Probably got discharge in.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09AUDIENCE GROANS
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Everyone gets a bit of dissy!
0:05:11 > 0:05:13LAUGHTER
0:05:13 > 0:05:16My God. Yeah, you do, everyone gets it sometimes.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's a normal thing for a girl
0:05:18 > 0:05:22You should have done Through The Keyhole instead of Keith Lemon
0:05:22 > 0:05:25"Discharge knickers, who would live in a house like this?"
0:05:25 > 0:05:27LAUGHTER
0:05:27 > 0:05:29What was the worst thing about it?
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Apart from all the bodily fluids,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34what was the most difficult thing emotionally and relationship-wise?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Which one? Geordie Shore house That mean old Gaz, eh?
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Probablys. Oh, that heartbreaker. And all the lads together.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44But, yeah, him. He wears it as a badge of honour though,
0:05:44 > 0:05:46"Oh, I've got a degree in banging birds."
0:05:46 > 0:05:51How about studying and getting a degree in treating them well
0:05:51 > 0:05:53What a good man, Jack. Now, Jack...
0:05:53 > 0:05:57I find it hard to talk about this, it's not that I'm jealous...
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Oh, yeah, I knew this would come up. Russell is jealous.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01No, because, Greg is MY friend. .
0:06:01 > 0:06:03LAUGHTER
0:06:03 > 0:06:04He just hangs out with you now
0:06:04 > 0:06:07You have to just accept he sees other comedians. I know
0:06:07 > 0:06:10We did have the best holiday ever...in Ibiza.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12It was pretty amazing.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14It was really lovely. We have some photographs.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17LAUGHTER
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Can we just say that's a night and you can buy those?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22We didn't come out to Ibiza with those vests.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27There was one thing I wanted to bring up about the holiday,
0:06:27 > 0:06:31which is, er...you were doctor.. at one point on that holiday.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34I'll just say, "Jellyfish," to you.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37I can't tell that story on here
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Can you not? Yeah, you can.
0:06:40 > 0:06:45Well, my friend, um...got stung by some jellyfish.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Male or female? What, the jellyfish? I couldn't...
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Oh, the friend, was a, was a...chap.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00He was in need. He was in need so I... Pissed on him. Yeah.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Obviously on the sting. Where was the sting?
0:07:03 > 0:07:05On his face - no, no...
0:07:06 > 0:07:10It wasn't! It was on his leg, a bit on his foot, I wee'd on it.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12That's fine then.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15KATY: Does that even work though JACK: Apparently that's rubbish.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18It's like an old wife's tale.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I thought it worked at the time then afterwards I asked,
0:07:20 > 0:07:23"How does it feel?" He went, "It just makes it smelly now."
0:07:24 > 0:07:28We have... We may have a photograph.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31LAUGHTER Oh, my God!
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Don't put that on!
0:07:35 > 0:07:38That was a... Stitch-up.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I was doing a good deed!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46He has a family, that guy!
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Get it down. Oh, my God.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Now, Charlotte, you're no stranger to getting drunk, are you?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56We've got a picture of you after BB.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58LAUGHTER
0:07:59 > 0:08:02We had to crop out the picture of the man behind you.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06That was the morning after I wee'd myself.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09That's a common occurrence, pissing the bed?
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Yeah, and looking like that too
0:08:10 > 0:08:13But do you watch yourself? Geordie Shore, I watch 'em all the time
0:08:13 > 0:08:16But have you ever watched anything and just gone,
0:08:16 > 0:08:18"Oh, my God, that's too much, too far"?
0:08:19 > 0:08:20Take that as a no.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24I don't ever feel like anything's real.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I feel like I live in a dream.
0:08:28 > 0:08:31It's an interesting idea. (It's time to wake up.)
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Jack, have you got calendars out? No calendars.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41I was sent a calendar by... Do you know who has?
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Charlotte. Oh, really? This is a great calendar.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Look at that, she has got her own calendar out, ladies and gentlemen.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52August. How about that? What was it like doing that?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56I hate it. I feel so uncomfortable when I have to do things like that,
0:08:56 > 0:09:00because I am not sexy at all. I beg to differ. Look at August
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Let's have a look at... Are you only allowed to show August?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06No, no, no, don't go to the next page. Don't go to September.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09It's too late. It's just that.. Oh, my God.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I have cut the eyes out of September.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Why have you cut the eyes out of September?!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Because I like Greg to look through the eyes.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21Greg pretends to be...
0:09:21 > 0:09:24It's just one eye! You just look like you have got a lazy eye.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25That's horrible!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27You're like a Geordie Mona Lisa
0:09:29 > 0:09:32I think you were always destined to be in a calendar
0:09:32 > 0:09:34because we have seen this one of you practising earlier in life.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41What the hell? Where the hell did you get that picture from? Oh, God!
0:09:41 > 0:09:44I look so different! That's what happens when you grow up.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I look better there.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Your contact with feminism started quite early, didn't it?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52I look better there I think. You were about eight.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Yeah, I wish I was eight again Life was so much more fun.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Did your friend forget her name quite a lot,
0:09:56 > 0:09:58is that why she has it...
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Can we dare move to the lounge What do you reckon? Let's do it
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Shall I take me bucket? Yeah, take it.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07GEORDIE ACCENT: Sling your bucket.
0:10:12 > 0:10:17Mum. Ladies and gentleman, my mum's in the lounge. Mum, stop cleaning.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Sorry, it's my mum.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20APPLAUSE
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Cos we rent the flat from Greg's mum and dad
0:10:25 > 0:10:26and my mum just cleans it now and again.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Mum, you're not in this bit... That's not your actual mum?!
0:10:29 > 0:10:33It's my actual mum, cleaning. Sorry. More like sister!
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Tell Jack to stop flirting with my mum.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36HE RETCHES
0:10:37 > 0:10:41Now, Jack, you do a lot of projects around education - Bad Education,
0:10:41 > 0:10:46Fresh Meat, and it made me wonder what all of us were like at school.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Jack, we all went to different schools,
0:10:48 > 0:10:51you went to boarding school - you can't tell.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Charlotte, you went to Catholic school - you can't tell.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58And, Katy, you went to the music academy Brit School.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00CHEERING
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Let's talk about R Patz, Jack. Yes. Famous schoolmate or what
0:11:03 > 0:11:06He was.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10I went to this tiny school in London and it had like, obviously, a
0:11:10 > 0:11:12drama teacher like any other school
0:11:12 > 0:11:14but it didn't have a particularly big drama department.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19Had R Patz, Tom Hardy and the amazing Rory Kinnear
0:11:19 > 0:11:22all in consecutive years that went to this tiny school.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24We have actually got a picture of the school.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27There is me at school with him
0:11:27 > 0:11:28All the other people...
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Those aren't blurred out. They had those faces those people.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34It's really weird, there was this epidemic that went round..
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Which one is him? That is R Patz
0:11:35 > 0:11:36at the front and Jack at the back.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38The geeky thing with stupid
0:11:38 > 0:11:39buck teeth and glasses.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45That is bully fodder right there.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47What do you make of R Patz though? Are you a fan of his?
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I did some stuff in my shows kind of mocking him
0:11:51 > 0:11:54but he is a nice enough chap, isn't he?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56There's worse people out there
0:11:56 > 0:12:03Was he sort of Gothy and moody or was he upbeat and zany
0:12:03 > 0:12:05He was like...what's his face,
0:12:05 > 0:12:11I'm pretending like I haven't seen the films,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14He was a very successful, accomplished young pupil and
0:12:14 > 0:12:18was in all the school plays and very charming and polite and very nice.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Katy, the Brit School - pressure.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24Famously spawned people like Adele, Amy Winehouse.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Who was in your year - anyone?
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Chico from the X Factor.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Jessie J was in the year above
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Were you well-behaved
0:12:34 > 0:12:36when you were at school or were you a bit of a troublemaker?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39I was sort of a bit of both.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43I got banned from the canteen cos I was singing
0:12:43 > 0:12:45En Vogue, Don't Let Go, standing on tables.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47And then there was this cook with a really long beard,
0:12:47 > 0:12:49and he came running out with his wooden spoon.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51And he was like, "Get out!"
0:12:51 > 0:12:53And we were just, like, singing in his face.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55And then he was like, "You're barred!"
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Did you go to school in the Queen Vic?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03You've flirted with music yourself, haven't you, MC Scabby?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Yes... I had...
0:13:07 > 0:13:12No, I... I dipped my toe in the hip-hop pool.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16It didn't really work out.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18I went through a phase when we were at school
0:13:18 > 0:13:21and we were kind of 15, 16 and me and all my friends were at this
0:13:21 > 0:13:22kind of posh boarding school
0:13:22 > 0:13:24and we hated the fact that we were posh
0:13:24 > 0:13:26and we wanted to rebel against that, hence the leather jacket
0:13:26 > 0:13:32and stuff, and I wanted to become an MC and my friend was an MC,
0:13:32 > 0:13:36he was MC Shooter, real name Rupert.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39I think he was called MC Shooter
0:13:39 > 0:13:42because his father had a very good grouse shoot in Ayrshire,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45literally, that ridiculous and we used to go around school
0:13:45 > 0:13:47and we used to sometimes have rap battles.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52And we once had a rap battle on a hockey pitch which was next
0:13:52 > 0:13:56to a beagle lodge. Want to know what a beagle lodge is?
0:13:56 > 0:14:00It's where you keep the beagle dogs for a beagle hunt.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I've got 99 problems, but my beagle wasn't one.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:14:11 > 0:14:13So what were you like at school - a naughty student?
0:14:13 > 0:14:17I got in trouble a bit, but always for really weird things.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21So, the most trouble I ever got in was, we had a school election,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24and I really wanted to take part,
0:14:24 > 0:14:27but the only party they had available was Veritas
0:14:27 > 0:14:28who were the party...
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Do you remember Robert Kilroy-Silk?
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Really orange guy who did, like, daytime TV.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38He was the head of Veritas, so I had to be him in this school election.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41So I went off into the local town and bought loads
0:14:41 > 0:14:43and loads of fake tan.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48And I applied all this fake tan but I didn't realise fake tan
0:14:48 > 0:14:51does that thing where it develops, if you leave it on.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54So I didn't wash any of it off and I kept putting it on and going,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57"Well, I'm clearly immune to it I need to put more on."
0:14:57 > 0:14:59I went to bed looking like Mark Wright,
0:14:59 > 0:15:00I woke up looking like Ian Wright.
0:15:03 > 0:15:08It got even darker as the day went on, and I ended up going to this
0:15:08 > 0:15:10big hustings in front of the whole school, the headmaster,
0:15:10 > 0:15:13the local MP had been invited.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16I went on stage, and it looked like I had just blacked up.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19I got in trouble for...
0:15:19 > 0:15:22We've got the e-mail. The e-mail - they sent an e-mail to my parents.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24A genuine e-mail from the school.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26"Dear Mr and Mrs Whitehall..."
0:15:30 > 0:15:33"During the school's recent mock elections,
0:15:33 > 0:15:38"Jack took what was clearly intended as a bit of fun a step too far
0:15:38 > 0:15:40"and appeared in the Memorial Hall hustings..."
0:15:40 > 0:15:41This is the best bit...
0:15:46 > 0:15:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:15:50 > 0:15:51That's real. That's real.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55What did your parents say? My mum was distraught.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57My dad was strangely amused.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01And at your school, you had quite a few famous alumni as well,
0:16:01 > 0:16:03the Middletons.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Yeah, we had P-Middy and K-Middy.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Did you look at the arse, then
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Tell you what, my only encounter with Pippa Middleton,
0:16:12 > 0:16:15seriously, was that she was a very, very accomplished hockey player
0:16:15 > 0:16:17with a wonderful turn of pace.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20So we used to go and watch her play hockey.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22And at no point did my eyes wander towards her buttocks.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Speaking of royals, you fancy Prince Harry, don't you?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28No, I do not fancy Prince Harry
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Why not? Where have you got this from?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32That stupid article in the newspaper?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Cos that was a lie. There's no royals you fancy?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36No, I don't want to have sex with any royalties.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I have a boyfriend,
0:16:38 > 0:16:41who I'm very happy with, having sex with. OK.
0:16:41 > 0:16:42I had sex just before I came here.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Can I just say, we do not have the budget left to clean that taxi.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55It's all right, he drives it.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Your mum's back.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Oh. Have you found Russell's magazines?
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Greg, while we were in the lounge, we've been talking so long
0:17:05 > 0:17:07we've forgotten Johnny Knoxville's in the spare room.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You need to go and interview him, now. I'm busy. I've got stuff to sort out.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Mum, I've got a favour to ask.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Can you interview Johnny Knoxville in the spare room for me?
0:17:15 > 0:17:18Who's Johnny Knoxville? It doesn't matter.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Is he the man who hurts himself That's the one, yeah.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Can you do an interview? SIGHING: Yeah, all right.
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Nice one, Mum.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Oh, Mum, just take these, ask these questions,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30and keep it natural, yeah?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Go on. See you later. My mum, ladies and gentlemen.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Hi. Very nice to meet you.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Have you been mucking around? What's wrong with your hand?
0:17:43 > 0:17:46I was high on ecstasy at a frat house,
0:17:46 > 0:17:47minding my own business.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51Someone dosed a beer with X and I drank it.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Maybe you shouldn't leave your drink lying around, then. Yeah.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59So what's Bad Grandpa about, then?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02It has all the pranks and stunts of a Jackass film,
0:18:02 > 0:18:03but this has a narrative.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04I get a kid at a funeral
0:18:04 > 0:18:06and I have to get him across the country
0:18:06 > 0:18:08to a family member, to his father.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11So is that you, in the picture there? Yeah.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I took three hours every day in the make-up chair
0:18:14 > 0:18:16to turn into Irving Zisman.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18That's as long as my Russell takes in the morning.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20What with the make-up and all the hair palaver.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Sure.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24It's says here something about playing a clip.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Well, let's have a look at this clip, I'm sure it's wonderful.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Grandpa, look at that ride! Can I go ride it?
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Yes.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Scram. Thank you.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Ah, what's your name?
0:18:35 > 0:18:36Gloria.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Grandpa? What? This thing doesn't work.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42What do you want me to do about it?
0:18:42 > 0:18:43Fix it!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Can't you see I was talking to a lady?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Yes, but... Look. Did you put money in there?
0:18:47 > 0:18:48Gah...
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Try it, it doesn't work. Oh, God.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Ow.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01That looks like a really funny film.
0:19:02 > 0:19:07I can tell by that reaction you re in stitches, you really enjoyed it.
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Not really.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Sorry.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14So does your character like an older lady?
0:19:14 > 0:19:16Oh, yes, Irving loves older ladies.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Do you have a taste for older ladies?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Uh, no, I'm... I have a taste for my wife.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26So, uh, you know.
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Did you have an accident where you hurt your you know what?
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Are you trying to get to me breaking my penis?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Yes, OK, your penis.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Yes, I broke my penis.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38There. It happened.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41My Russell once had an accident down there,
0:19:41 > 0:19:42but we don't really talk about it.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Yeah.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46You must have lots of doctors on speed dial.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48I mean, this is...
0:19:49 > 0:19:53That is all doctors right down that page.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Thank you very much for your time, Mr Knoxville.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57And goodbye. All right.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59APPLAUSE
0:20:02 > 0:20:04That was a good interview. That was all right.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09A great interview, nice work, Mum.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12So our night of spontaneous entertainment continues.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15We are going to explore everyone's accent skills.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18How do you feel about that? Charlotte, you're obviously fluent
0:20:18 > 0:20:19in Geordie, you have to be.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Katy, you speak street and urban in all tenses.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25And, Jack, you are obviously, as you have shown, fluent in posh.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30Yeah, I also have kind of restaurant street. Yeah, yeah.
0:20:30 > 0:20:35Pigeon urban. It's like a dialect of posh you have to learn.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39"Have a lasagne, please, mother BLEEP."
0:20:39 > 0:20:42People from all over the country have got different ways of saying,
0:20:42 > 0:20:46like, "Let's get drunk," as you say, "Getting mortal."
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Jack, if you were getting drunk, what would you say? Squiffy or something?
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Squiffy? Would you say, "Let's get squiffy, Papa"? No.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55I'm going to get drunk with my dad?!
0:20:55 > 0:20:58I thought you might have a brandy and discuss UKIP.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00"Let's get hooned, Barnabas, come on."
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Katy, as you're a bit more street, you would say,
0:21:03 > 0:21:08"Me crunk on the herb wine." 'Erb, 'erb wine. 'Erb wine.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Oh, "Me crunk on the 'ERB wine." Have you ever had that herb wine stuff?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Yeah, it is just like Chardonnay, isn't it?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17But I would say, "Getting mash up," that's what I would say.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Charlotte, what does "Tache on, mean? Where does it come from?
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Vicky, that's Vicky's word.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24What, do you mean someone on your show made it up and now people use it?
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Apparently, her and her group of friends said it and then
0:21:27 > 0:21:29now loads of people say it. It just means having a snog.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Is it because you are wearing them like a tache,
0:21:32 > 0:21:35because they are there above your lip? Yes, exactly.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38So you would say, "Tache on." Katy, you might say something like,
0:21:38 > 0:21:40"Me lick up booty and face."
0:21:40 > 0:21:41LAUGHTER
0:21:43 > 0:21:47No... I say...erm...
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Go on. It is quite similar to, "Tache on." Like, mashing.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Mashing? You say that for everything!
0:21:53 > 0:21:55"You mashed... He mashed her."
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Everything is quite potato-based then?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01And would you get off with two girls at the same time and call it..
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Oh, it's going to be, "Jack does it really posh." No, I don't.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06I just say what any normal guy my age would say,
0:22:06 > 0:22:10"Take off your petticoat, wench and prepare to be conquered."
0:22:11 > 0:22:15That is what any guy, any guy would say that, right?
0:22:15 > 0:22:18So what we are going to do is try and understand each other a bit better, OK?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21What we are going to do is we are going to do a sentence in a dialect
0:22:21 > 0:22:24and you must translate what you think that sentence means
0:22:24 > 0:22:26and the sentence is about one of you.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29So we are going to hand out some answer boards first of all.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Past them round, pass one round to Jack.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36I am talking about one of you in this room, OK? But what am I saying?
0:22:49 > 0:22:50Anyway. OK, let's see what you've got.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Jack, what do you think I was saying and about whom?
0:22:53 > 0:22:56"This woman's father was a miner who lives under
0:22:56 > 0:22:59"the bridge by the stream."
0:22:59 > 0:23:02That's close. Not bad, what do you think?
0:23:02 > 0:23:07"That nice, lad/lass,
0:23:07 > 0:23:11"whose father was a blank, blank..."
0:23:11 > 0:23:13didn't get them ones,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15"..who was a canny good singer and I'm not lying."
0:23:15 > 0:23:18She speaks Geordie, she's got it word for word. Yes
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Who does that story relate to?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Whose dad was a brilliant singer in the '70s?
0:23:23 > 0:23:25"My dad was in Eurovision."
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Katy, tell us about it. So I am the winner on that one then?
0:23:28 > 0:23:32My dad, he used to have a ginger tache and flares
0:23:32 > 0:23:34and he was in a few bands.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Was he Guess Who, the board game?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Yeah, he was a singer.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49He sang in Eurovision in 1970-something, but for Germany
0:23:49 > 0:23:51because he used to live... Is your dad German?
0:23:51 > 0:23:56No, he's not German, he just lived there for a while
0:23:56 > 0:23:59So it is really random. He is proper London through and through.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03'This is Big Greg. Would Jack come to the Diary Room?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05'Downstairs toilet.'
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Oh!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09Off you go, sir.
0:24:09 > 0:24:10What happens there?
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Oh, is Russell's mum there?
0:24:13 > 0:24:14Disgusting.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Hello, Jack, how are you today
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Why are you talking like that?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28You don't talk like that in real life. Don't put on a voice.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29How are you today?
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I'm fine. I'm sat in a toilet, it's not great.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33I also quite need the loo which is ironic
0:24:33 > 0:24:35because this definitely doesn't work.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Why don't you give it a go?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38I'm not going to shit on live TV.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40Charlotte might.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Charlotte has.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47You're used to a household of showbiz people,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49do you have pushy parents, Jack
0:24:49 > 0:24:51No, I don't.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Is it true they forced you to do ballet?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57How do you know all this?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59I am Big Greg.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Yes, Greg, we got that.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05They didn't force me to do ballet. I learned to do karate
0:25:05 > 0:25:08when I was a kid because I really wanted to do karate
0:25:08 > 0:25:11because I needed to be able to defend myself on the mean streets of Barnes,
0:25:11 > 0:25:14but because my sister was doing ballet lessons,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17my mother found it too hard to drive from both of them.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20So, basically, one of us had to do what the other one was doing
0:25:20 > 0:25:22so it was either my sister doing karate or me doing ballet,
0:25:22 > 0:25:25and it ended up with me doing ballet, so I did ballet
0:25:25 > 0:25:27and I was damn good at it!
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Do you still remember any of your moves?
0:25:31 > 0:25:34I remember you had to do the point toe.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37And then a turn.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Why don't you show us? Fuck off, Greg.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41LAUGHTER
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I've been humiliated enough on this show.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46You've already shown to the nation a photograph
0:25:46 > 0:25:48of me urinating on one of my friends.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51There is no way on earth that you are getting me to do ballet
0:25:51 > 0:25:54I bet you look good in tights, though. Shut up, Greg.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Please can we bring this interview to a close
0:25:56 > 0:25:59with maybe a question that I want to answer?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01What's your problem with Michael Fish?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Oh, my God!
0:26:04 > 0:26:06What is...?
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Michael Fish...
0:26:08 > 0:26:10My...
0:26:10 > 0:26:11HE LAUGHS
0:26:11 > 0:26:15My father thought it appropriate
0:26:15 > 0:26:18to once tell me, when he'd had a few too many drinks,
0:26:18 > 0:26:21that I was conceived on the night of the Great Storm.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25So whenever I see Michael Fish
0:26:25 > 0:26:27the weather reporter,
0:26:27 > 0:26:29all I can think of
0:26:29 > 0:26:31is my conception.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34And that's very weird.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I once saw him at the BBC walking down a corridor.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40He had no idea who he was but as I crossed him,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43clocked his face and realised it was him,
0:26:43 > 0:26:45I screamed and ran away.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48LAUGHTER
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Is it true that gale-force winds make you think of your dad getting
0:26:50 > 0:26:52a blow job?
0:26:52 > 0:26:54LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I mean, that's wrong on so many levels.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Mainly, you can't be conceived through a blow job, dickhead.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Trust me, your mum would have so many more siblings
0:27:10 > 0:27:11if that was the case.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Now look what it's... It's descending into
0:27:19 > 0:27:23school-yard tomfoolery and stupidness, Greg!
0:27:24 > 0:27:26I'm going to rise above it.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28That's what she said!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31I didn't want to say that. I didn't even want to say that
0:27:31 > 0:27:32but I had to
0:27:32 > 0:27:34because you've turned me into this.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35I'm your monster, Dr Frankenstein.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Again, that's another thing she used to say to me.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41LAUGHTER
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Thank you, Jack. You may now rejoin...
0:27:48 > 0:27:49HE STUMBLES OVER HIS WORDS
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Sorry! You are literally... How are you a radio presenter?
0:27:53 > 0:27:55You can't string a sentence together, mate.
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Just concentrate.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Think about what you're going to say and then say it.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02You're sat on a fake toilet talking to a fucking camera.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Jack, thank you for your time.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Please now rejoin the other housemates.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Urgh...
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Well done!
0:28:12 > 0:28:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:17 > 0:28:20CHEERING INTENSIFIES
0:28:27 > 0:28:29OK. All right?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I should be very excited to see these two.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Instead, I'm in a bad mood.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38Has your relationship with Greg gone stormy?
0:28:38 > 0:28:40LAUGHTER
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Don't worry, it'll blow over.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Oh!
0:28:44 > 0:28:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Ladies and gents, we have some extra special guests today,
0:28:51 > 0:28:52stars of Bad Education,
0:28:52 > 0:28:54we've got Layton Williams and Nikki Runeckles!
0:28:54 > 0:28:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:58 > 0:29:00It is a real pleasure to have you on the show.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03We love Bad Education. How good is Bad Education, everybody?
0:29:03 > 0:29:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:29:06 > 0:29:08The second series just finished on BBC Three
0:29:08 > 0:29:11but you're coming back for a Christmas episode and stuff.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13What is it like working with this guy?
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Fun. Yeah? I think it's just fun.
0:29:17 > 0:29:18No jokes.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Your part's getting bigger in the third series. Yours...
0:29:21 > 0:29:23No, no, it's real great.
0:29:23 > 0:29:24For the people who haven't seen it,
0:29:24 > 0:29:26you play a teacher, you're the students.
0:29:26 > 0:29:27That's the set-up.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29Working with a comedian, is he often ad-libbing
0:29:29 > 0:29:31and throwing you off-course?
0:29:31 > 0:29:32Yes.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34Yeah, you do. Yeah, we add stuff.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36That's why it's quite fun writing it as well,
0:29:36 > 0:29:38because the script is always changing
0:29:38 > 0:29:40and it can do because I'm there
0:29:40 > 0:29:43so I often listen to what those guys are talking about.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45There was one day on set when I was listening over
0:29:45 > 0:29:46to them having a conversation.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49It was the day that Margaret Thatcher died.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51And he came onto the set and he was so emotional.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54He was like, "Oh, my God, babes Oh, my God, babes."
0:29:54 > 0:29:56Is that a good impression?
0:29:56 > 0:29:58No, shit. He always goes American, slightly.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01I don't know why, cos in my head you're American.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04IN AMERICAN ACCENT: "Oh, my God I'm so upset about Maggie Thatcher."
0:30:04 > 0:30:07And someone went, "Why are you sad about Maggie Thatcher?
0:30:07 > 0:30:09"Were you a big fan of Maggie Thatcher?"
0:30:09 > 0:30:12And he just turned round, deadly serious, like,
0:30:12 > 0:30:13"No Maggie Thatcher, no Billy Elliot."
0:30:13 > 0:30:16LAUGHTER
0:30:16 > 0:30:18"Oh, that's straight in!"
0:30:18 > 0:30:22APPLAUSE
0:30:22 > 0:30:26Let's have a little look at some of the last series of Bad Education.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28You do realise, if Abbey Grove shuts down,
0:30:28 > 0:30:30you'll all have to go to St Edward's.
0:30:30 > 0:30:31THEY GASP
0:30:31 > 0:30:34The only school below us on the league table.
0:30:34 > 0:30:35If I go to St Edward's,
0:30:35 > 0:30:37the only theatre I'll end up in is an operating one.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40St Edward's not that bad, babe Dean Gaffney went there.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Dean Gaffney? We need to raise some money!
0:30:42 > 0:30:45I could do a kiss and tell, sir, on this guy I'm seeing. Yeah.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48With the best will in the world Chantelle, I doubt that
0:30:48 > 0:30:52Haroon from WH Smith's is going to sell that many papers.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54APPLAUSE
0:30:55 > 0:30:57I'll be careful how I phrase this. Your character...
0:30:57 > 0:30:59How can I put it politely? ..is flirtatious.
0:30:59 > 0:31:00A slut.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02LAUGHTER
0:31:03 > 0:31:07It's a very multilayered, multifaceted character!
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Obviously, we know that you're
0:31:09 > 0:31:11a fine actor in Bad Education as Alfie Wickers,
0:31:11 > 0:31:15but we have some of your earlier work we'd like to show you.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17It's often overlooked, the earlier work, isn't it? Absolutely.
0:31:17 > 0:31:21Like Coldplay's first album. Often the best. Let's have a look at this.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29That animal is a menace.
0:31:29 > 0:31:30He's not, he's a rabbit.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Mick's got something he wants to show you upstairs.
0:31:35 > 0:31:36Oh, wonderful.
0:31:39 > 0:31:41Remember, Atilla the Bun.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Ah!
0:31:45 > 0:31:48LAUGHTER
0:31:48 > 0:31:51Oh, no!
0:31:51 > 0:31:53You still smile like that as well.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55Yeah, you go...
0:31:55 > 0:31:57You hadn't seen that? BOTH: No.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59I look like I've just let out a wet fart.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01LAUGHTER
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Successful as you are, you haven't got every audition you went for
0:32:04 > 0:32:07and you missed out on a couple of really stellar roles
0:32:07 > 0:32:08You went for a role in The Hobbit,
0:32:08 > 0:32:11but also Harry himself in Harry Potter.
0:32:11 > 0:32:12Is that right? Yeah.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15They went round loads of schools and auditioned,
0:32:15 > 0:32:17like, hundreds of thousands of people for that role.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19My mum made me up to look like Harry Potter, but as you can see,
0:32:19 > 0:32:24I had the hair and the look and the glasses.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27Katy, you also... What, for Harry Potter?!
0:32:27 > 0:32:31Yeah, well, not for Harry, but who was your audition for?
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Hermione. Yeah. Really? How did that go?
0:32:34 > 0:32:37Well... Well, obviously not that well, but...
0:32:37 > 0:32:40I used to go to my little Peckham Saturday acting class.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42I don't know what, they just..
0:32:42 > 0:32:44It came up, so I was like, "Yeah, I'll do it."
0:32:44 > 0:32:46So I went...
0:32:47 > 0:32:50..and then I got there and they were like,
0:32:50 > 0:32:52"Oh, so, how did you like the book?"
0:32:52 > 0:32:54And I was just like, "Oh, I couldn't get into it."
0:32:56 > 0:32:57VOICEOVER: 'This is Big Greg.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01'Can all housemates please go to the shed...bit?"
0:33:01 > 0:33:02Let's go to the shed bit.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04APPLAUSE
0:33:15 > 0:33:18Yes, welcome to Russell's Rave Shed. What do you think?
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Do you like what I have done with the place? Lovely.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23Has that been weather proofed? Yeah, it will be.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26As we discovered, you and Greg got very cosy on your bromantic holiday
0:33:26 > 0:33:28to Ibiza, which I'm not bothered about at all,
0:33:28 > 0:33:30which is why I have only brought it up twice.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32So I have tried to arrange the spirit of Ibiza.
0:33:32 > 0:33:34I know what you guys get up to out there. I have arranged
0:33:34 > 0:33:38a blind disco for everyone so we can do it just like in Ibiza.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Silent disco?
0:33:40 > 0:33:41LAUGHTER
0:33:43 > 0:33:46It is a disability-based disco that's the main thing.
0:33:46 > 0:33:47These are the rules.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49When you hear a song that relates to you, you're just going to start
0:33:49 > 0:33:52dancing and having a good time but I am going to make sure you are blind.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55I'm not going to blind you, I've got a blind fold.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57And you were just going to dance your socks.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59While you are dancing, a mystery guest from your past,
0:33:59 > 0:34:02or who is in your life currently, will join you on the dance floor.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05You have to dance with them blind, asking them questions,
0:34:05 > 0:34:07trying to work out who they are Oh, God.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10It is going to be Michael Fish, isn't it?
0:34:11 > 0:34:14Let's queue up the first song and see who it might be for.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19It's Buble. Sit down, Charlotte OK, I am not in this one.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21Hear me get mad to Buble. This is the blind disco.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22If you'd like to put that on.
0:34:22 > 0:34:25I don't want to touch your hair in case you're fussy about it.
0:34:25 > 0:34:28If anyone touches my hair I have a full panic attack.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32I feel like I need a glass of red wine. We are all dancing with you.
0:34:34 > 0:34:39Dance! But it is Michael Buble I'm not going to go mental, am I?!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41It's Buble, I'm just crooning, you know.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44Someone else is joining us on the dance floor. Let me just ..
0:34:44 > 0:34:48He is on the dance floor with you. I am really concerned about this.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51Just start asking him some questions, Jack. Do I have to touch...
0:34:51 > 0:34:54You don't have to touch, just ask some questions.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57Do you come here often? No.
0:34:57 > 0:34:58LAUGHTER
0:34:58 > 0:35:04Are you a man? Yes. Jesus Christ!
0:35:04 > 0:35:06This is quite scary!
0:35:06 > 0:35:08Come on Jack, stop CLOWNING around.
0:35:08 > 0:35:14Are a fellow professional? Are you in my industry, a comedian of sorts?
0:35:14 > 0:35:18Erm...sorts. You'd certainly see him CLOWNING about.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24Don't be SCARED to ask a question, Jack. Why would I be scared...
0:35:24 > 0:35:26Oh, my God! It's...!
0:35:28 > 0:35:31CLOWN CACKLES
0:35:36 > 0:35:41Tell us who it is. It's... Tell us. Timmy Twinkle
0:35:41 > 0:35:44Timmy Twinkle. What happened with Timmy Twinkle?
0:35:44 > 0:35:48Timmy Twinkle used to entertain me when I was a child,
0:35:48 > 0:35:49at children's parties.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53And what happened? He was... He was... Well, he was like this.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57And not everyone was as entertained.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01You nicknamed him the Pied Piper of Putney, didn't you? Yes, but ..
0:36:01 > 0:36:05It is really nice to see you again.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08Goodbye, Timmy Twinkle. Thanks for joining us. Timmy Twinkle, everyone.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10APPLAUSE
0:36:12 > 0:36:16Let's have another song. Track two. Here we go.
0:36:19 > 0:36:23Talk Dirty, this is Charlotte's Oh, God. Right. OK.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25Sit down, Jack, you're not in this one.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28Shall I just lawn mower? Charlotte, put this on.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31It's Talk Dirty, it's definitely your track, isn't it? Yeah.
0:36:31 > 0:36:32Trust me.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38Right. Let's have a dance. Guest is on the dance floor.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40Come closer, have a boogie.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43It's weird! I don't like it! It feels weird!
0:36:43 > 0:36:44It feels like...
0:36:44 > 0:36:47I don't know why, but I feel like I should hold my vagina.
0:36:47 > 0:36:48LAUGHTER
0:36:48 > 0:36:49CHARLOTTE SCREAMS
0:36:49 > 0:36:53Why are you touching us! How can I dance when this is happening
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Jack! That is Jack with a cricket bat.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59So start asking some questions It is someone from your life.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02There is nothing to be scared of. It's not like we've put a clown in front of you.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06Don't! It is not Timmy Twinkle again, is it?
0:37:06 > 0:37:11Right. OK. Are you a girl? Yes. Eh?
0:37:11 > 0:37:15What do you mean, "Eh?" You do know some women, don't you, Charlotte?
0:37:15 > 0:37:19Did I know you when I was younger? No.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22Come on, try to WORK it out.
0:37:22 > 0:37:27Don't be BOSSED around by this person. Erm...
0:37:27 > 0:37:31Are you from where I used to work? Huh?
0:37:31 > 0:37:33It's Becks!
0:37:37 > 0:37:42Oh, my God! This is getting weirder and weirder. Why are you doing this?
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Hold on one second. Talk us through who Becks is.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48Becks is my supervisor, or sort of manager,
0:37:48 > 0:37:53from my old job that I worked at for like four years
0:37:53 > 0:37:55My first Saturday job and then I got so lazy
0:37:55 > 0:37:58and hated school that I just worked there for ever. Do you know what?
0:37:58 > 0:38:01Surprise Surprise can't do that can it?
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Thank you very much, Becks. APPLAUSE
0:38:07 > 0:38:10Lucky enough, ladies and gentlemen, we have some real music
0:38:10 > 0:38:13because I have arranged a live set from Katy B.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16How about that? Katy, go and get yourself ready.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:19 > 0:38:23Ladies and gents, thanks to our wonderful stars from Bad Education,
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Layton and Nikki.
0:38:25 > 0:38:26Charlotte Crosby, everyone.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30And the wonderful Jack Whitehall!
0:38:33 > 0:38:34Thank you so much for watching
0:38:34 > 0:38:36We're back next Wednesday with more Staying In.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Right now, to play us out,
0:38:38 > 0:38:40it's Katy B with her new single, Sam.
0:38:40 > 0:38:415AM. 5AM.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44CHEERING See you next week!
0:38:44 > 0:38:46MUSIC: "5AM" by Katy B
0:38:52 > 0:38:57# My feet won't stop I can't keep still
0:38:57 > 0:39:00# Be rocking this until the sunlight
0:39:00 > 0:39:04# That beat's so sick That tune's so ill
0:39:04 > 0:39:07# Seems they know just how to move me right
0:39:07 > 0:39:11# He looks my way Won't waste my time
0:39:11 > 0:39:14# Looking in all the wrong places
0:39:14 > 0:39:19# Won't let history repeat in parallel lines
0:39:19 > 0:39:21# A sucker for those pretty faces
0:39:21 > 0:39:27# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down
0:39:27 > 0:39:31# A little loving like Valium
0:39:31 > 0:39:34# I need somebody to knock me out
0:39:34 > 0:39:36# I need some loving like
0:39:36 > 0:39:42# Ooh, I don't know what I'm running from
0:39:42 > 0:39:46# But when the sun comes up it won't be wrong
0:39:46 > 0:39:49# I need some loving like Valium
0:39:49 > 0:39:51# I need some loving like
0:39:51 > 0:39:56# It's 5AM all on my own
0:39:56 > 0:39:59# I just need someone to talk with me
0:39:59 > 0:40:03# I lost my friends I check my phone
0:40:03 > 0:40:06# Still searching for someone to walk with me
0:40:06 > 0:40:11# My deep wounds rise they take their place
0:40:11 > 0:40:14# All of a sudden this don't feel right
0:40:14 > 0:40:18# I wish I had a pure embrace
0:40:18 > 0:40:21# To keep me warm until the sunrise
0:40:21 > 0:40:26# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down
0:40:26 > 0:40:30# A little loving like Valium
0:40:30 > 0:40:33# I need somebody to knock me out
0:40:33 > 0:40:35# I need some loving like
0:40:35 > 0:40:41# Ooh, I don't know what I'm running from
0:40:41 > 0:40:45# But when the sun comes up it won't be wrong
0:40:45 > 0:40:48# I need some loving like Valium
0:40:48 > 0:40:50# I need some loving like
0:40:52 > 0:40:54# I need some loving like
0:40:56 > 0:40:58# I need some loving like
0:40:59 > 0:41:01# I need some loving like
0:41:05 > 0:41:06# Close my eyes Numb the pain
0:41:06 > 0:41:08# Feel my worries melt away
0:41:08 > 0:41:10# Lay me down Treat me kind
0:41:10 > 0:41:12# Take the stresses off my mind
0:41:12 > 0:41:14# Kiss my neck Feel my touch
0:41:14 > 0:41:16# Let nothing in the way of us
0:41:16 > 0:41:18# Keep me here Keep me calm
0:41:18 > 0:41:19# In my dreams In your arms
0:41:19 > 0:41:25# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down
0:41:25 > 0:41:29# A little loving like Valium
0:41:29 > 0:41:32# I need somebody to knock me out
0:41:32 > 0:41:34# I need some loving like
0:41:34 > 0:41:40# Ooh, I don't know what I'm running from
0:41:40 > 0:41:43# But when the sun comes up it won't be wrong
0:41:43 > 0:41:47# I need some loving like Valium
0:41:47 > 0:41:49# I need some loving like
0:41:51 > 0:41:53# I need some loving like
0:41:55 > 0:41:57# I need some loving like
0:41:58 > 0:42:02# I need some loving like
0:42:02 > 0:42:04# I need some loving like. #
0:42:04 > 0:42:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd