Episode 3

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0:00:28 > 0:00:32'Joining us tonight, a Girl very much Aloud, Kimberley Walsh.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35'Scissor Sister Ana Matronic.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38'"Oh, my God!" It's Stacey Solomon,

0:00:40 > 0:00:44'Pocket movie star Warwick Davis

0:00:44 > 0:00:47'And Conor Maynard is here to perform his latest single.'

0:00:56 > 0:01:00Let's hear it for our wonderful

0:01:03 > 0:01:07And the big news tonight, Russell... Yeah? ..It's ladies' night!

0:01:24 > 0:01:28Welcome, wonderful guests, how are you? We're great. We're good.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31we have one very special surprise.

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Because it is ladies' night I have a special surprise for you,

0:01:42 > 0:01:44MUSIC: "Love Machine" by Girls Aloud

0:02:32 > 0:02:36I like to think your first name starts with an "N" because you're so

0:02:53 > 0:02:55From Green Boys, everybody!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01First of all, how wonderful

0:03:08 > 0:03:10It's just like my brother's room!

0:03:12 > 0:03:14For you, Stace, we've brought rings.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16If only I hadn't ate dinner,

0:03:16 > 0:03:19I would wolf 'em down in a second.

0:03:23 > 0:03:24Having a bowl on the floor!

0:03:26 > 0:03:29On a girls' night in, we sit round and talk about relationships.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33for ten years, how's that working

0:03:43 > 0:03:46That's how I did it with my husband - we've been together ten years

0:04:04 > 0:04:06I like to keep the fire alive, yeah.

0:04:13 > 0:04:17candles, I'm happy with that.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19romantic bath, is your other half

0:04:22 > 0:04:25He's never gone to the toilet in

0:04:31 > 0:04:34You can talk to your boyfriend

0:04:37 > 0:04:39I could not, I don't think.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42You don't want to see someone's poo face, even if you love 'em,

0:04:42 > 0:04:44"Oh! I've had a great day..."

0:04:44 > 0:04:55You can have a phantom poo where you don't even have to make a face!

0:04:55 > 0:05:02Well...he's one of those, you know,

0:05:16 > 0:05:19So what does Scissor Sisters mean?

0:05:19 > 0:05:21It's not like you were into hobbies

0:05:21 > 0:05:23before you were into music.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44It's specifically a sexual position,

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Oh. If that phrase is known,

0:05:51 > 0:05:54everyone in the band is gay?

0:05:57 > 0:06:00"I'm going to make you an offer

0:06:00 > 0:06:03I'm like, "Really?" And she said,

0:06:03 > 0:06:05"You can come home with me and my girlfriend and watch us have sex."

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Russell's not even in a band and everyone thinks he's gay.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21All right, Greg, don't flag it up.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26British men are more gay than

0:06:28 > 0:06:30that's a thing in America. Is it?

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Everybody should be a little bit

0:06:45 > 0:06:47I'm not afraid to say Tyson had

0:06:56 > 0:06:59You were a drag queen dancer,

0:06:59 > 0:07:08When I lived in San Francisco,

0:07:08 > 0:07:11I think we should have a look

0:07:11 > 0:07:20Oh, wow! Interestingly enough,

0:07:22 > 0:07:26Who's there with the little beaker

0:07:26 > 0:07:32Yeah, they spunked into plastic bags, then they were like...

0:07:51 > 0:07:57really great Fellini-inspired look.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00You've got the big features

0:08:02 > 0:08:04on his face, I'm not going to lie.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08I'm both turned on and hurt.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16How could we match those up?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21More cushion for the pushin'!

0:08:22 > 0:08:25Stacey, let's talk X Factor. You were 19 when you started that.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29I was. It feels like so long ago. Is it still right in your memory?

0:08:31 > 0:08:35and I absolutely loved it and I don't think I'll ever forget it.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Unless I go senile and old.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Are you watching this year? Because it's changed a little bit.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44There's loads of twists and stuff.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57What are they trying to do to us normal people? And that seat thing.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01It's like musical chairs but worse.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Is he doing rehearsals again? Yeah.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15I want you to get this signed.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17OK, cool. See you in a sec.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23What's the word we use to open it?

0:09:32 > 0:09:35I can hear that, mate, but it's quite noisy. It's a brilliant read.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Look at all the pictures too.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40I know that... First class. What are you doing in here?

0:09:40 > 0:10:04I'm rehearsing for the performance.

0:10:04 > 0:10:11I cannot imagine what it would be like to squash into an airline seat

0:10:11 > 0:10:14like. Every seat is business class.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17It is for me. You may have noticed I've put a few of these cloches out.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20You've added into my set a little bit, a sort of medieval feast.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22What do you reckon that might

0:10:23 > 0:10:26Of course, you famously played Wicket

0:10:28 > 0:10:32I was 11, OK? So imagine that,

0:10:32 > 0:10:35and then to get the opportunity

0:10:37 > 0:10:40You've got such a ridiculously

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Who's the most famous contact

0:10:43 > 0:10:47It's probably Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp on speed dial? Depp's in there.

0:10:56 > 0:11:00If I write a text to my wife and

0:11:01 > 0:11:04"Oh!" and you worry you might have sent it to somebody else.

0:11:08 > 0:11:09It was meant for my partner.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17oiled up as a Greek soldier.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I'll leave out the middle bit,

0:11:20 > 0:11:22"..and that's how we'll invade Troy."

0:11:28 > 0:11:30I believe there's one cloche

0:11:34 > 0:11:38It's a tasty fan. You've had some strange encounters with fans. Yep.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44In certain Romany gypsy cultures,

0:11:47 > 0:11:50little touch, a little rub.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54on my shoulder or, more obviously,

0:11:54 > 0:11:56is the luckiest part of me.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Thanks so much for letting me

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Yeah, I need to get on with some rehearsals now, actually.

0:12:30 > 0:12:37Got it for you, Greg. Here you go. Yeah! Signed and everything.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41Look, Colin's dressed as Yoda.

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Why are you trying to show off? Oh!

0:12:44 > 0:12:46I have, yeah. What's your dog?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Oh, look at this. Oh! All right.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Russell's very proud of his dog,

0:12:55 > 0:12:58of something else, aren't you?

0:12:58 > 0:13:00Yeah, why don't you go and show them what I'm proud of, Greg.

0:13:22 > 0:13:25What was your specialist subject?

0:13:27 > 0:13:31Russell, yours. The life and works of Evelyn Waugh, the novelist.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36In a way, he was in between

0:13:36 > 0:13:38so very much an Inbetweener.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49He wants to play Mastermind.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Let's do it. Yeah. Let's play

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Stacey, what is your chosen

0:14:19 > 0:14:22Stacey Solomon, you have an allotted time to answer questions

0:14:22 > 0:14:26on your chosen, specialist subject of Stacey Solomon, starting...

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Question one, where are you from?

0:14:32 > 0:14:36However, I would also have accepted "Dogenham".

0:14:50 > 0:14:54would admit to that.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Correct. Did he?

0:15:09 > 0:15:13did you ever snog Olly Murs?

0:15:13 > 0:15:15No!

0:15:17 > 0:15:21No, I didn't. Didn't you, you slag?!

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Colin, you're so rude and no!

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Next question...

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Who does Simon Bird play in The Inbetweeners?

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Right - Neil...

0:15:32 > 0:15:34No. No, I know he isn't.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36Give me the first letter. W.

0:15:39 > 0:15:43Come on, I'm getting itchy here, give me an answer.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45What's his real name?

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Or was it...? Oh, I'm losing the will to live.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Losing the "Will" to live.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52Will! Correct.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59I've started so I'll finish.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Let's go and watch some telly,

0:16:19 > 0:16:21What's on? Let's have a look.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31He just hit me on the head.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33You pissed him off, Cheryl.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38just tap the fucking table.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38Has anyone got any problems

0:17:40 > 0:17:43And what's your name? Cynthia.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Cynthia, you look like a Cynthia.

0:17:49 > 0:17:53Well, I'm only attracted to really bad, violent people.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56to bad, violent personalities.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Anyone in the studio got any advice?

0:18:00 > 0:18:03Why do girls go through this

0:18:03 > 0:18:06What's it all about? Well, she's still in that phase, Cynthia.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Yeah, she's putting it out there.

0:18:10 > 0:18:12She could be a scissor sister.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14Oh! Well, most lesbians, to be fair,

0:18:16 > 0:18:18and then they never have sex again.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25it was the oven. Is it ready?

0:18:28 > 0:18:30You know - men, when they love

0:18:41 > 0:18:45If it's two women together, they probably just talk a lot.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Emotional sex - "I feel bad."

0:18:52 > 0:18:55Hey, stop everything...it's Stacey's birthday, everybody!

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Make a wish, blow them out.

0:19:04 > 0:19:12a lot of hairspray on, be careful.

0:19:18 > 0:19:27It's like two cakes in one!

0:19:43 > 0:19:55I'm going to take him a bit of cake,

0:19:55 > 0:20:00in the toilet, but it's all good.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04It's Stacey's birthday and I didn't

0:20:04 > 0:20:07Oh, thanks. So... Thank you.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12and cake in here - perfect.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15No, this is my preferred...

0:20:18 > 0:20:19I'm leaving you to finish off.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22Enjoy your cake and please make sure

0:20:23 > 0:20:26If you just push this... Yeah.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30still have one nut hanging out

0:20:30 > 0:20:33so I'm going to let you... Oh, no, that's a bit of cake, it dropped...

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Sorry, Conor, see you later,

0:20:42 > 0:20:45Sorry about that. I had to give Conor

0:20:46 > 0:20:48We were just having a little girly slumber, the sleepover.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53You know when you're staying over

0:20:57 > 0:21:00OK, let's play Truth or Dare.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07So, spin the serving spoon.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10Yeah. Whatever it lands on,

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Russell's phone over there - and you'll get a juicy truth. OK.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20If it lands on a dare, then my special horror phone will call

0:21:20 > 0:21:22one of the audience and get a dare.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Let's do it, spin that wheel, baby.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Due to the fact that your arm is

0:21:55 > 0:21:57Right, yo. What's your name? Chris.

0:21:59 > 0:22:07My dare is for Ana. I dare Ana to take a piece of clothing off.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54The dare was for Kimberley to strip.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02I'm going to double dare that,

0:23:15 > 0:23:19AUDIENCE: Strip! Strip! Strip!

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Our careers have just started.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50Are you crazy? Are you crazy?

0:24:50 > 0:24:54# Must be stupid if you think

0:24:54 > 0:24:57# Are you joking? Must be joking You ain't laughin', I ain't smokin'

0:24:57 > 0:25:01# Must be crazy if you think

0:25:02 > 0:25:05# There ain't no need to cry no more

0:25:08 > 0:25:12# I'll pick up the pieces you left

0:25:16 > 0:25:20cos I'm breakin' up with ya

0:25:20 > 0:25:23# Shoulda' hooked up with your sister Go now, here's my middle finger

0:25:23 > 0:25:28# Cos I'm hurting baby, hurting baby

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Are you crazy? Are you crazy?

0:25:34 > 0:25:38# Must be stupid if you think

0:25:38 > 0:25:41# Are you joking? Must be joking You ain't laughin', I ain't smokin'

0:25:41 > 0:25:45# Must be crazy if you think

0:25:52 > 0:25:56# Now I know that she wants me back

0:25:56 > 0:26:00# Nothing sounds more better than

0:26:00 > 0:26:03cos I'm breakin' up with ya

0:26:03 > 0:26:05# Love me now, my name is bigger

0:26:05 > 0:26:07# Girl, I'm giving you the finger

0:26:07 > 0:26:12# Cos I'm hurting baby, hurting baby

0:26:14 > 0:26:18Are you crazy? Are you crazy?

0:26:18 > 0:26:22# Must be stupid if you think

0:26:22 > 0:26:25# Are you joking? Must be joking You ain't laughin', I ain't smokin'

0:26:25 > 0:26:29# Must be crazy if you think that

0:26:29 > 0:26:33Are you crazy? Are you crazy?

0:26:33 > 0:26:43# Must be stupid if you think that

0:27:07 > 0:27:11so why are you tryin' to play me?

0:27:20 > 0:27:25# Cos I'm hurting baby, hurting baby

0:27:28 > 0:27:31Are you crazy? Are you crazy?

0:27:31 > 0:27:35# Must be stupid if you think

0:27:35 > 0:27:39# Are you joking? Must be joking

0:27:39 > 0:27:42# Must be crazy if you think

0:27:55 > 0:27:58# Hit the road, Jack Jack. #

0:28:03 > 0:28:08Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd