Episode 4

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0:00:03 > 0:00:06Tonight on Staying In With Greg and Russell - foul-mouthed Geordie

0:00:06 > 0:00:08and Celebrity Big Brother winner Charlotte Crosby...

0:00:08 > 0:00:10I had sex just before I came here.

0:00:11 > 0:00:15..star of Bad Education - posh funnyman Jack Whitehall..

0:00:15 > 0:00:17He has a family, that guy!

0:00:18 > 0:00:21..clubland queen Katy B... He was like, "Get out!"

0:00:21 > 0:00:24And we were, like, singing in his face.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27..and Jackass prankster Johnny Knoxville.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Yes, I broke my penis. There, it happened.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:53 > 0:00:56Aaay!

0:00:56 > 0:00:57Hiya. Hiya.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Hi, everybody. GIRLS: Hi.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Jack, eh, mate, over here.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Mate, treating this like The Voice - I only turn round

0:01:06 > 0:01:07if I like what I hear.

0:01:07 > 0:01:08LAUGHTER

0:01:08 > 0:01:11What's the first question? Do you want a drink? Oh, yes, actually

0:01:11 > 0:01:15I'll get you a drink. A little champers for you.

0:01:15 > 0:01:19Welcome to our pad. Are you enjoying it? It's nice! Lovely.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21It makes us feel very comfortable, mind.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24Yeah? Part from the camels are freaking us out a bit.

0:01:24 > 0:01:28Why, does it make you think about your leggings being too tight? LAUGHTER

0:01:31 > 0:01:33I normally get camel toe.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37Katy, we've got you a nice rum cocktail. Oh, my favourite.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39I know what you're like, your reputation,

0:01:39 > 0:01:42there's an orange squash for you. Are you kidding us?

0:01:42 > 0:01:45Know you're doing the non-drinking thing, so we didn't want to...

0:01:45 > 0:01:48lead you off the... LAUGHTER

0:01:48 > 0:01:51Only joking. YES! In a bucket?

0:01:51 > 0:01:54GEORDIE ACCENT: We got you a great big bucket of slop, man.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57CHEERING

0:02:00 > 0:02:02So anyway, so nice to have you all on the show,

0:02:02 > 0:02:04so nice to have you in our little house.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Are you a good housemate, Katy B? What are you like to live with

0:02:07 > 0:02:08SHE SIGHS

0:02:08 > 0:02:13I don't... I've only ever lived with my family and on my own, so...

0:02:13 > 0:02:17And the reason why I live on my own is because I am very messy.

0:02:17 > 0:02:21Jack, we have stereotypes, we imagine you living...

0:02:21 > 0:02:24Do you sort of close one wing of the house down to avoid mess

0:02:24 > 0:02:26No...

0:02:26 > 0:02:31I live with a man who's very practical.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34He's my flatmate, he's a builder, so he does all the man's tasks

0:02:34 > 0:02:36and I feel so emasculated every day.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38I can't do anything.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42I went to buy paint from Homebase, and I found the event so stressful

0:02:42 > 0:02:45that I got a migraine and had to go and lie down on garden furniture.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50You're very similar like that, aren't you? Can you change a tyre?

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Put a shelf up? I can't do anything, I'd love to be like that.

0:02:53 > 0:02:54That's why you work as a couple

0:02:54 > 0:02:57because you're the perfect blend of silk and steel.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Sexuality and practicality.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02You would hold the girl close and talk to her about her feelings,

0:03:02 > 0:03:05and Greg could bleed the radiator.

0:03:05 > 0:03:06Dressed in cricket gear.

0:03:06 > 0:03:10Now, we have to ask about your house habits, because you

0:03:10 > 0:03:13are a professional housemate, having won Celebrity Big Brother!

0:03:13 > 0:03:17WHOOPING Thanks, everyone. Thanks.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24Well played. Thanks. You've lived in two houses on TV - for TV.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27The Geordie Shore house, the Big Brother house, how do they compare?

0:03:27 > 0:03:28Totally different.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29The Geordie Shore house,

0:03:29 > 0:03:33you could walk along and it's like...an environment of pure sex.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36You've got like a condom with maybe some sperm...

0:03:36 > 0:03:38And a cock in it, often.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41Maybe, aye, exactly. One side you've got some knickers.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Probably got discharge in.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45AUDIENCE GROANS

0:03:45 > 0:03:47Everyone gets a bit of dissy!

0:03:47 > 0:03:49LAUGHTER

0:03:49 > 0:03:52My God. Yeah, you do, everyone gets it sometimes.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54It's a normal thing for a girl

0:03:54 > 0:03:58You should have done Through The Keyhole instead of Keith Lemon

0:03:58 > 0:04:01"Discharge knickers, who would live in a house like this?"

0:04:01 > 0:04:03LAUGHTER

0:04:03 > 0:04:05What was the worst thing about it?

0:04:05 > 0:04:06Apart from all the bodily fluids,

0:04:06 > 0:04:10what was the most difficult thing emotionally and relationship-wise?

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Which one? Geordie Shore house That mean old Gaz, eh?

0:04:14 > 0:04:18Probablys. Oh, that heartbreaker. And all the lads together.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20But, yeah, him. He wears it as a badge of honour though,

0:04:20 > 0:04:22"Oh, I've got a degree in banging birds."

0:04:22 > 0:04:26How about studying and getting a degree in treating them well

0:04:27 > 0:04:33What a good man, Jack. Now, Jack... You've been away, haven't you?

0:04:33 > 0:04:36I find it hard to talk about this, it's not that I'm jealous...

0:04:36 > 0:04:39Oh, yeah, I knew this would come up. Russell is jealous.

0:04:39 > 0:04:40No, because, Greg is MY friend. .

0:04:40 > 0:04:42LAUGHTER

0:04:42 > 0:04:43He just hangs out with you now

0:04:43 > 0:04:47You have to just accept he sees other comedians. I know

0:04:47 > 0:04:49We did have the best holiday ever...in Ibiza.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51It was pretty amazing.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53It was really lovely. We have some photographs.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56LAUGHTER

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Can we just say that's a night and you can buy those?

0:04:59 > 0:05:02We didn't come out to Ibiza with those vests.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06There was one thing I wanted to bring up about the holiday,

0:05:06 > 0:05:10which is, eh...you were doctor.. at one point on that holiday.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12I'll just say "jellyfish".

0:05:13 > 0:05:16I can't tell that story on here

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Can you not? Yeah, you can.

0:05:19 > 0:05:24Well, my friend, um...got stung by some jellyfish.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27Male or female? What, the jellyfish? I couldn't...

0:05:29 > 0:05:33Oh, the friend, was a, was a...chap.

0:05:34 > 0:05:39He was in need. He was in need so I... Pissed on him. Yeah.

0:05:39 > 0:05:43Obviously on the sting. Where was the sting?

0:05:43 > 0:05:44On his face - no, no...

0:05:45 > 0:05:49It wasn't, it was on his leg, a bit on his foot, I wee'd on it.

0:05:49 > 0:05:51That's fine then.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Does that even work though? - Apparently that's rubbish.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57It's like an old wife's tale.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59I thought it worked at the time then afterwards I asked,

0:05:59 > 0:06:02"How does it feel?" He went, "It just makes it smelly now."

0:06:04 > 0:06:07We have... We may have a photograph.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10LAUGHTER Oh, my God!

0:06:12 > 0:06:13Don't put that on!

0:06:19 > 0:06:21I was doing a good deed!

0:06:23 > 0:06:25He has a family, that guy!

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Get it down. Oh, my God.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33Now, Charlotte, you're no stranger to getting drunk, are you?

0:06:33 > 0:06:35We've got a picture of you after BB.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37LAUGHTER

0:06:38 > 0:06:41We had to crop out the picture of the man behind you.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45That was the morning after I wee'd myself.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48That's a common occurrence, pissing the bed?

0:06:48 > 0:06:50Yeah, and looking like that too

0:06:50 > 0:06:52But do you watch yourself? Geordie Shore, I watch 'em all the time

0:06:52 > 0:06:55But have you ever watched anything and just gone,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57"Oh, my God, that's too much, too far"?

0:06:58 > 0:06:59Take that as a no.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03I don't ever feel like anything's real.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05I feel like I live in a dream.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09It's an interesting idea. (It's time to wake up.)

0:07:09 > 0:07:11LAUGHTER

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Can we dare move to the lounge What do you reckon? Let's do it

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Shall I take me bucket? Yeah, take it.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20GEORDIE ACCENT: Sling your bucket.

0:07:25 > 0:07:30Mum. Ladies and gentleman, my mum's in the lounge. Mum, stop cleaning.

0:07:30 > 0:07:31Sorry, it's my mum.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33APPLAUSE

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Cos we rent the flat from Greg's mum and dad

0:07:37 > 0:07:39and my mum just cleans it now and again.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Mum, you're not in this bit... That's not your actual mum?!

0:07:42 > 0:07:45It's my actual mum, cleaning. Sorry. More like sister!

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Tell Jack to stop flirting with my mum.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49HE RETCHES

0:07:50 > 0:07:54Now, Jack, you do a lot of projects around education - Bad Education,

0:07:54 > 0:07:59Fresh Meat, and it made me wonder what all of us were like at school.

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Jack, we all went to different schools,

0:08:00 > 0:08:04you went to boarding school - you can't tell.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Charlotte, you went to Catholic school - you can't tell.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11And Katy, you went to the music academy Brit School.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13CHEERING

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Katy, the Brit School - pressure.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18Famously spawned people like Adele, Amy Winehouse.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Who was in your year - anyone?

0:08:20 > 0:08:24Chico from the X Factor.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Jessie J was in the year above

0:08:27 > 0:08:28Were you well-behaved

0:08:28 > 0:08:31when you were at school or were you a bit of a troublemaker?

0:08:31 > 0:08:34I was sort of a bit of both.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37I got banned from the canteen cos I was singing

0:08:37 > 0:08:39En Vogue, Don't Let Go, standing on tables.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41And then there was this cook with a really long beard,

0:08:41 > 0:08:44and he came running out with his wooden spoon.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45And he was like, "Get out!"

0:08:45 > 0:08:47And we were just, like, singing in his face.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50And then he was like, "You're barred!"

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Did you go to school in the Queen Vic?

0:08:54 > 0:08:56So what were you like at school - a naughty student?

0:08:56 > 0:09:00I got in trouble a bit, but always for really weird things.

0:09:00 > 0:09:04So, the most trouble I ever got in was, we had a school election,

0:09:04 > 0:09:07and I really wanted to take part,

0:09:07 > 0:09:09but the only party they had available was Veritas

0:09:09 > 0:09:11who were the party...

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Do you remember Robert Kilroy-Silk?

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Really orange guy who did, like, daytime TV.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20He was the head of Veritas, so I had to be him in this school election.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24So I went off into the local town and bought loads

0:09:24 > 0:09:25and loads of fake tan.

0:09:25 > 0:09:31And I applied all this fake tan but I didn't realise fake tan

0:09:31 > 0:09:34does that thing where it develops, if you leave it on.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36So I didn't wash any of it off and I kept putting it on and going,

0:09:36 > 0:09:40"Well, I'm clearly immune to it I need to put more on."

0:09:40 > 0:09:41I went to bed looking like Mark Wright,

0:09:41 > 0:09:43I woke up looking like Ian Wright.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50It got even darker as the day went on, and I ended up going to this

0:09:50 > 0:09:53big hustings in front of the whole school, the headmaster,

0:09:53 > 0:09:56the local MP had been invited.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59I went on stage, and it looked like I had just blacked up.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02I got in trouble for...

0:10:02 > 0:10:05We've got the e-mail. The e-mail - they sent an e-mail to my parents.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07A genuine e-mail from the school.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09It says, "Dear Mr and Mrs Whitehall..."

0:10:14 > 0:10:17"During the school's recent mock elections,

0:10:17 > 0:10:24"Jack took what was clearly intended as a bit of fun a step too far

0:10:24 > 0:10:26This is the best bit...

0:10:30 > 0:10:33LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:10:34 > 0:10:36That's real. That's real.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40What did your parents say? My mum was distraught.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41My dad was strangely amused.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46And at your school, you had quite a few famous alumni as well,

0:10:46 > 0:10:47the Middletons.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Yeah, we had P-Middy and K-Middy.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Did you look at the arse, then

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Tell you what, my only encounter with Pippa Middleton,

0:10:56 > 0:11:00seriously, was that she was a very, very accomplished hockey player

0:11:00 > 0:11:01with a wonderful turn of pace.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04So we used to go and watch her play hockey.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07And at no point did my eyes wander towards her buttocks.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Speaking of royals, you fancy Prince Harry, don't you?

0:11:11 > 0:11:12No, I do not fancy Prince Harry

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Why not? Where have you got this from?

0:11:14 > 0:11:16That stupid article in the newspaper?

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Cos that was a lie. There's no royals you fancy?

0:11:18 > 0:11:20No, I don't want to have sex with any royalties.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22I have a boyfriend,

0:11:22 > 0:11:25who I'm very happy with, having sex with. OK.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27I had sex just before I came here.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:31 > 0:11:35Can I just say, we do not have the budget left to clean that taxi.

0:11:38 > 0:11:39It's all right, he drives it.

0:11:42 > 0:11:43Your mum's back.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Oh. Have you found Russell's magazines?

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Greg, while we're doing this, we've been talking so long

0:11:49 > 0:11:51we've forgotten Johnny Knoxville's in the spare room.

0:11:51 > 0:11:55You need to go and interview him, now. I'm busy. I've got stuff to sort out.

0:11:55 > 0:11:56Mum, I've got a favour to ask.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59Can you interview Johnny Knoxville in the spare room for me?

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Who's Johnny Knoxville? It doesn't matter.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Is he the man who hurts himself That's the one, yeah.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07Can you do an interview? SIGHING: Yeah, all right.

0:12:07 > 0:12:08Nice one, Mum.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Oh, Mum, just take these, ask these questions,

0:12:12 > 0:12:14and keep it natural, yeah?

0:12:14 > 0:12:17Go on. See you later. My mum, ladies and gentlemen.

0:12:21 > 0:12:22Hi. Very nice to meet you.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Have you been mucking around? What's wrong with your hand?

0:12:28 > 0:12:30I was high on ecstasy at a frat house,

0:12:30 > 0:12:31minding my own business.

0:12:31 > 0:12:36Someone dosed a beer with X and I drank it.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Maybe you shouldn't leave your drink lying around, then. Yeah.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43So what's Bad Grandpa about, then?

0:12:43 > 0:12:46It has all the pranks and stunts of a Jackass film,

0:12:46 > 0:12:47but this has a narrative.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49I get a kid at a funeral

0:12:49 > 0:12:51and I have to get him across the country

0:12:51 > 0:12:53to a family member, to his father.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55So is that you, in the picture there? Yeah.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58I took three hours every day in the make-up chair

0:12:58 > 0:13:01to turn into Irving Zisman.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03That's as long as my Russell takes in the morning.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05What with the make-up and all the hair palaver.

0:13:05 > 0:13:06Sure.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09It's says here something about playing a clip.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Well, let's have a look at this clip, I'm sure it's wonderful.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Grandpa, look at that ride! Can I go ride it?

0:13:14 > 0:13:15Yes.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Scram. Thank you.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Ah, what's your name?

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Gloria.

0:13:21 > 0:13:24Grandpa? What? This thing doesn't work.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26What do you want me to do about it?

0:13:26 > 0:13:27Fix it!

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Can't you see I was talking to a lady?

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Yes, but... Look. Did you put money in there?

0:13:31 > 0:13:32Gah...

0:13:32 > 0:13:35Try it, it doesn't work. Oh, God.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Ow.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45That looks like a really funny film.

0:13:47 > 0:13:51I can tell by that reaction you re in stitches, you really enjoyed it.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Not really.

0:13:53 > 0:13:54Sorry.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58So does your character like an older lady?

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Oh, yes, Irving loves the ladies.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Do you have a taste for older ladies?

0:14:04 > 0:14:08Uh, no, I'm... I have a taste for my wife.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10So, uh, you know.

0:14:10 > 0:14:14Did you have an accident where you hurt your you know what?

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Are you trying to get to me breaking my penis?

0:14:17 > 0:14:18Yes, OK, your penis.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20Yes, I broke my penis.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22There. It happened.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25My Russell once had an accident down there,

0:14:25 > 0:14:26but we don't really talk about it.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Yeah.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30You must have lots of doctors on speed dial.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32I mean, this is...

0:14:33 > 0:14:37That is all doctors right down that page.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Thank you very much for your time, Mr Knoxville.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42And goodbye. All right.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43APPLAUSE

0:14:46 > 0:14:48That was a good interview. That was all right.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54A great interview, nice work, Mum.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58'This is Big Greg. Would Jack come to the Diary Room.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00'Downstairs toilet.'

0:15:00 > 0:15:01Oh!

0:15:01 > 0:15:04Off you go, sir.

0:15:04 > 0:15:05What happens there?

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Oh, is Russell's mum there?

0:15:08 > 0:15:09Disgusting.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Hello, Jack, how are you today

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Why you talking like that?

0:15:20 > 0:15:23You don't talk like that in real life. Don't put on a voice.

0:15:23 > 0:15:24How are you today?

0:15:24 > 0:15:26I'm fine. I'm sat in a toilet, it's not great.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28I also quite need the loo which is ironic

0:15:28 > 0:15:30cos this definitely doesn't work.

0:15:30 > 0:15:31Why don't you give it a go?

0:15:31 > 0:15:33I'm not going to sh... on live TV.

0:15:34 > 0:15:35Charlotte might.

0:15:37 > 0:15:38Charlotte has.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42You're used to a household of showbiz people,

0:15:42 > 0:15:44do you have pushy parents, Jack

0:15:44 > 0:15:46No, I don't.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Is it true they forced you to do ballet?

0:15:50 > 0:15:52How do you know all this?

0:15:52 > 0:15:54I am Big Greg.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56Yes, Greg, we got that.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00They didn't force me to do ballet, I learned to do karate

0:16:00 > 0:16:03when I was a kid cos I really wanted to do karate

0:16:03 > 0:16:06cos I needed to be able to defend myself on the mean streets of Barnes,

0:16:06 > 0:16:09but because my sister was doing ballet lessons

0:16:09 > 0:16:12and my mother found it too hard to drive from both of them,

0:16:12 > 0:16:15so basically one of us had to do what the other one was doing

0:16:15 > 0:16:17so it was either my sister doing karate or me doing ballet,

0:16:17 > 0:16:20and it ended up with me doing ballet, so I did ballet

0:16:20 > 0:16:22and I was damn good at it!

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Do you still remember any of your moves?

0:16:26 > 0:16:32I remember you had to do the point toe.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35Why don't you show us? Fuck off, Greg.

0:16:35 > 0:16:36LAUGHTER

0:16:36 > 0:16:39I've been humiliated enough on this show.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41You've already shown to the nation a photograph

0:16:41 > 0:16:43of me urinating on one of my friends.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46There is no way on earth that you are getting me to do ballet

0:16:46 > 0:16:49I bet you look good in tights, though. Shut up, Greg.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Please can we bring this interview to a close

0:16:51 > 0:16:54with maybe a question that I want to answer?

0:16:54 > 0:16:56What's your problem with Michael Fish?

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Oh, my God!

0:16:59 > 0:17:01What is...?

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Michael Fish...

0:17:03 > 0:17:05My...

0:17:05 > 0:17:06HE LAUGHS

0:17:06 > 0:17:10My father thought it appropriate

0:17:10 > 0:17:13to once tell me, when he'd had a few too many drinks,

0:17:13 > 0:17:16that I was conceived on the night of the Great Storm.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20So whenever I see Michael Fish

0:17:20 > 0:17:22the weather reporter,

0:17:22 > 0:17:24all I can think of

0:17:24 > 0:17:26is my conception.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29And that's very weird.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32I once saw him at the BBC walking down a corridor.

0:17:32 > 0:17:35He had no idea who he was but as I crossed him,

0:17:35 > 0:17:38clocked his face and realised it was him,

0:17:38 > 0:17:40I screamed and ran away.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43LAUGHTER

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Is it true that gale-force winds make you think of your dad getting

0:17:45 > 0:17:47a blow job?

0:17:47 > 0:17:50LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:17:55 > 0:17:57I mean, that's wrong on so many levels.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01Mainly, you can't be conceived through a blow job, dickhead.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Trust me, your mum would have so many more siblings

0:18:05 > 0:18:06if that was the case.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:18:12 > 0:18:14Now look what it's... It's descending into

0:18:14 > 0:18:18school-yard tomfoolery and stupidness, Greg.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I'm going to rise above it.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23That's what she said!

0:18:23 > 0:18:26I didn't want to say that. I didn't even want to say that

0:18:26 > 0:18:27but I had to

0:18:27 > 0:18:29because you've turned me into this.

0:18:29 > 0:18:30I'm your monster, Doctor Frankenstein.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Again, that's another thing she used to say to me.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36LAUGHTER

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Thank you, Jack. You may now rejoin...

0:18:43 > 0:18:44HE STUMBLES OVER HIS WORDS

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Sorry! You are literally... How are you a radio presenter?

0:18:48 > 0:18:50You can't string a sentence together, mate.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Just concentrate.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Think about what you're going to say and then say it.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57You're sat on a fake toilet talking to a fucking camera.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Jack, thank you for your time.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Please now rejoin the other housemates.

0:19:04 > 0:19:05Urgh...

0:19:05 > 0:19:07Well done!

0:19:07 > 0:19:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:12 > 0:19:15CHEERING INTENSIFIES

0:19:22 > 0:19:24OK. All right?

0:19:24 > 0:19:26I should be very excited to see these two.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Instead, I'm in a bad mood.

0:19:29 > 0:19:33Has your relationship with Greg gone stormy?

0:19:33 > 0:19:35LAUGHTER

0:19:36 > 0:19:37Don't worry, it'll blow over.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Oh!

0:19:39 > 0:19:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Ladies and gents, we have some extra special guests today,

0:19:46 > 0:19:47stars of Bad Education,

0:19:47 > 0:19:49we've got Layton Williams and Nikki Runeckles!

0:19:49 > 0:19:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:53 > 0:19:55It is a real pleasure to have you on the show.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58We love Bad Education. How good is Bad Education, everybody?

0:19:58 > 0:20:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:01 > 0:20:03The second series just finished on BBC Three

0:20:03 > 0:20:06but you're coming back for a Christmas episode and stuff.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08What is it like working with this guy?

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Fun. Yeah? I think it's just fun.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13No jokes.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16Your part's getting bigger in the third series. Yours...

0:20:16 > 0:20:18No, no, it's real great.

0:20:18 > 0:20:19For the people who haven't seen it,

0:20:19 > 0:20:21you play a teacher, you're the students.

0:20:21 > 0:20:22That's the set-up.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Working with a comedian, is he often ad-libbing

0:20:24 > 0:20:26and throwing you off-course?

0:20:26 > 0:20:27Yes.

0:20:27 > 0:20:31Yeah, you do. Yeah, we add stuff.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33because the script is always changing

0:20:33 > 0:20:35and it can do because I'm there

0:20:35 > 0:20:38so I often listen to what those guys are talking about.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40There was one day on set when I was listening over

0:20:40 > 0:20:41to them having a conversation.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44It was the day that Margaret Thatcher died.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46And he came onto the set and he was so emotional.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49He was like, "Oh, my God, babes Oh, my God, babes."

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Is that a good impression?

0:20:51 > 0:20:53No, shit. He always goes American, slightly.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56I don't know why, cos in my head you're American.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59IN AMERICAN ACCENT: "Oh, my God I'm so upset about Maggie Thatcher."

0:20:59 > 0:21:03And someone went, "Why are you sad about Maggie Thatcher?

0:21:03 > 0:21:04"Were you a big fan of Maggie Thatcher?",

0:21:04 > 0:21:07and he just turned round, deadly serious, like,

0:21:07 > 0:21:09"No Maggie Thatcher, no Billy Elliot."

0:21:09 > 0:21:11LAUGHTER

0:21:11 > 0:21:13"Oh, that's straight in!"

0:21:13 > 0:21:17APPLAUSE

0:21:17 > 0:21:21Let's have a little look at some of the last series of Bad Education.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23You do realise, if Abbey Grove shuts down,

0:21:23 > 0:21:25you'll all have to go to St Edward's.

0:21:25 > 0:21:26THEY GASP

0:21:26 > 0:21:29The only school below us on the league table.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30If I go to St Edward's,

0:21:30 > 0:21:32the only theatre I'll end up in is an operating one.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35St Edward's not that bad, babe Dean Gaffney went there.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Dean Gaffney? We need to raise some money!

0:21:37 > 0:21:40I could do a kiss and tell, sir, on this guy I'm seeing. Yeah.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43With the best will in the world Chantelle, I doubt that

0:21:43 > 0:21:47Haroon from WH Smith's is going to sell that many papers.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49APPLAUSE

0:21:50 > 0:21:52I'll be careful how I phrase this. Your character...

0:21:52 > 0:21:54How can I put it politely? ..is flirtatious.

0:21:54 > 0:21:55A slut.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57LAUGHTER

0:21:58 > 0:22:02It's a very multilayered, multifaceted character!

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Obviously, we know that you're

0:22:04 > 0:22:06a fine actor in Bad Education as Alfie Wickers,

0:22:06 > 0:22:10but we have some of your earlier work we'd like to show you.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12It's often overlooked, the earlier work, isn't it? Absolutely.

0:22:12 > 0:22:16Like Coldplay's first album. Often the best. Let's have a look at this.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24That animal is a menace.

0:22:24 > 0:22:25He's not, he's a rabbit.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Mick's got something he wants to show you upstairs.

0:22:30 > 0:22:34Oh, wonderful.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Remember, Atilla the Bun.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Ah!

0:22:40 > 0:22:43LAUGHTER

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Oh, no!

0:22:46 > 0:22:48You still smile like that as well.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Yeah, you go...

0:22:50 > 0:22:52You hadn't seen that? BOTH: No.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54I look like I've just let out a wet fart.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56LAUGHTER

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Successful as you are, you haven't got every audition you went for

0:22:59 > 0:23:02and you missed out on a couple of really stellar roles

0:23:02 > 0:23:03You went for a role in The Hobbit,

0:23:03 > 0:23:06but also Harry himself in Harry Potter.

0:23:06 > 0:23:07Is that right? Yeah.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10They went round loads of schools and auditioned,

0:23:10 > 0:23:13like, hundreds of thousands of people for that role.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16My mum made me up to look like Harry Potter, but as you can see,

0:23:16 > 0:23:19I had the hair and the look and the glasses.

0:23:19 > 0:23:22Katie, you also... What, for Harry Potter?!

0:23:22 > 0:23:26Yeah, well, not for Harry, but who was your audition for?

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Hermione. Yeah. Really? How did that go?

0:23:29 > 0:23:32Well... Well, obviously not that well, but...

0:23:32 > 0:23:35I used to go to my little Peckham Saturday acting class.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37I don't know what, they just..

0:23:37 > 0:23:39It came up, so I was like, "Yeah, I'll do it."

0:23:39 > 0:23:41So I went...

0:23:43 > 0:23:45..and then I got there and they were like,

0:23:45 > 0:23:47"Oh, so, how did you like the book?",

0:23:47 > 0:23:49and I was just like, "Oh, I couldn't get into it."

0:23:51 > 0:23:52VOICEOVER: 'This is Big Greg.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55'Would all housemates head to the shed disco

0:23:55 > 0:23:57'for a performance from Katy B?

0:23:57 > 0:23:58Let's go to the shed.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01APPLAUSE

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Ladies and gents, thanks to our wonderful stars from Bad Education.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16Ladies and gents, Nikki.

0:24:19 > 0:24:20Charlotte Crosbie, everyone.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24And the wonderful Jack Whitehall!

0:24:27 > 0:24:28Thank you so much for watching

0:24:28 > 0:24:30We're back next Wednesday with more Staying In.

0:24:30 > 0:24:35Right now, to play us out,

0:24:35 > 0:24:38CHEERING See you next week!

0:24:38 > 0:24:40MUSIC: "5AM" by Katy B

0:24:40 > 0:24:43AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG

0:24:46 > 0:24:51# My feet won't stop, I can't keep still

0:24:51 > 0:24:54# Be rocking this until the sunlight

0:24:54 > 0:24:58# That beat's so sick, that tune's so ill

0:24:58 > 0:25:01# Seems they know just how to move me right

0:25:01 > 0:25:05# He looks my way Won't waste my time

0:25:05 > 0:25:08# Looking in all the wrong places

0:25:08 > 0:25:13# Won't let history repeat in parallel lines

0:25:13 > 0:25:15# A sucker for those pretty faces

0:25:15 > 0:25:21# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down

0:25:21 > 0:25:25# A little loving like Valium

0:25:25 > 0:25:28# I need somebody to knock me out

0:25:28 > 0:25:30# I need some loving like

0:25:30 > 0:25:36# Ooh, I don't know what I'm running from

0:25:36 > 0:25:39# But when the sun comes up it won't be wrong

0:25:39 > 0:25:43# I need some loving like Valium

0:25:43 > 0:25:45# I need some loving like

0:25:45 > 0:25:50# It's 5AM all on my own

0:25:50 > 0:25:53# I just need someone to talk with me

0:25:53 > 0:25:57# I lost my friends I check my phone

0:25:57 > 0:26:00# Still searching for someone to walk with me

0:26:00 > 0:26:05# My deep wounds rise they take their place

0:26:05 > 0:26:07# All of a sudden this don't feel right

0:26:07 > 0:26:12# I wish I had a pure embrace

0:26:12 > 0:26:15# To keep me warm until the sunrise

0:26:15 > 0:26:20# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down

0:26:20 > 0:26:23# A little loving like Valium

0:26:23 > 0:26:28# I need somebody to knock me out

0:26:28 > 0:26:29# I need some loving like

0:26:29 > 0:26:35# Ooh, I don't know what I'm running from

0:26:35 > 0:26:38# But when the sun comes up it won't be wrong

0:26:38 > 0:26:42# I need some loving like Valium

0:26:42 > 0:26:45# I need some loving like

0:26:45 > 0:26:47# I need some loving like

0:26:50 > 0:26:52# I need some loving like

0:26:53 > 0:26:55# I need some loving like

0:26:59 > 0:27:00# Close my eyes, numb my pain

0:27:00 > 0:27:02# Feel my worries melt away

0:27:02 > 0:27:04# Lay me down, treat me kind

0:27:04 > 0:27:06# Take the stresses off my mind

0:27:06 > 0:27:08# Kiss my neck, feel my touch

0:27:08 > 0:27:10# Let nothing in the way of us

0:27:10 > 0:27:11# Keep me here, keep me calm

0:27:11 > 0:27:13# In my dreams, in your arms

0:27:13 > 0:27:19# Ooh, I need somebody to calm me down

0:27:19 > 0:27:23# A little loving like Valium

0:27:23 > 0:27:26# I need somebody to knock me out

0:27:26 > 0:27:28# I need some loving like

0:27:28 > 0:27:34# Ooh, I don't know what I'm running from

0:27:34 > 0:27:38# But when the sun comes up it won't be wrong

0:27:38 > 0:27:41# I need some loving like Valium

0:27:41 > 0:27:43# I need some loving like

0:27:45 > 0:27:47# I need some loving like

0:27:49 > 0:27:51# I need some loving like

0:27:52 > 0:27:56# I need some loving like

0:27:56 > 0:27:58# I need some loving like. #

0:27:58 > 0:28:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:10 > 0:28:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd