0:00:02 > 0:00:06Hello, and welcome to our chat show. Staying in with us tonight:
0:00:06 > 0:00:09The one and only Tinie Tempah.
0:00:09 > 0:00:13Glee's Dianna Agron is staying in the spare room!
0:00:13 > 0:00:16# That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh Joe Lycett! #
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Joe Lycett is here!
0:00:19 > 0:00:25Plus, she's got the extra Xtra Factor, it's Caroline Flack!
0:00:25 > 0:00:33This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Hooray! Nice watch.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57You are blinging, mate. We've got matching watches. Watch kiss.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Yeah, I've got a Casio! Yay!
0:01:00 > 0:01:04I don't wear a watch, do you? We don't wear watches!
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Welcome to our pad. What do you reckon? It's big. It's nice.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Tinie, you must live in some swish pad. It's very clean.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11But you're a very clean person
0:01:11 > 0:01:16I remember when you came to the judges' houses in St Lucia with us,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19and you got angry if your trainers got dirty on the beach.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22I've seen you before you go on stage when you have brand-new trainers,
0:01:22 > 0:01:25and you put bin bags over the trainers and take them off on stage.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Sometimes I will even get on someone's back if it's muddy,
0:01:28 > 0:01:30just to take me to the stage. What about you, Joe?
0:01:30 > 0:01:35Do you live solo? I actually live in two places. That sounds very posh.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38So you're a bi-dweller? I'm a bi-dweller and a bisexual
0:01:38 > 0:01:42And I'm middle-class. I'm in the middle of everything
0:01:42 > 0:01:44You mentioned judges' houses, Caroline. Yes.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49Who's got the best house? Well, sometimes, the houses...
0:01:49 > 0:01:50..don't belong to the judges.
0:01:50 > 0:01:58This was the biggest anti-climax when I came out to St Lucia,
0:02:00 > 0:02:03And I get there, and it's a hotel.
0:02:05 > 0:02:06What about Cowell's house?
0:02:06 > 0:02:11It's so tidy. It's so tidy. It's kind of all black or white
0:02:11 > 0:02:14It's weird, because when I went to his house
0:02:14 > 0:02:18to have my first initial meeting for the X Factor,
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I went to the wrong house. I went to the house next door.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23But they let me in, made me a cup of tea
0:02:23 > 0:02:26and gave me some cake for half an hour.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Then she came back in and said
0:02:28 > 0:02:29"Excuse me, who are you here to see?"
0:02:29 > 0:02:32I said Simon and she said "Oh, no, he lives next door."
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Is it true that Simon Cowell has black toilet paper?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39I've heard the rumours, but I didn't go to the toilet. What
0:02:39 > 0:02:42If I was at Simon Cowell's house, I'd take a shit in every toilet
0:02:42 > 0:02:44You have to always go to the toilet in someone's house.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I went to Jennifer Lopez's house in LA.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Was there a really wide toilet for her bootay?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52No, but I always make sure I go to the toilet.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54I think I do it because I get a bit nervous at first,
0:02:54 > 0:02:57so when I walk into somewhere,
0:02:57 > 0:02:59more often than not, I'm like, "Can I use the toilet?"
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Before hello?
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Yeah, before hello.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03"Toilet!"
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Toilet. I'm always curious to see what people's toilets are like
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Black toilet paper, though.
0:03:09 > 0:03:13He must have the dirtiest arsehole in show business, mustn't he?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15You don't know if you're clean surely?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Thank you. I didn't want to go there, but true.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22Well, the new single, we absolutely love. You're performing it later.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Now, the album is Demonstration
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I've heard it, and I genuinely I've told you,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33I've embarrassed myself in front of you privately. It's so good
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Greg sent me a really nice text about it. Made my day.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40I had so much fun recording it and all the people that I got on it,
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Dizzee Rascal's on there,
0:03:42 > 0:03:47Emeli Sande, Laura Mvula, John Martin, 2 Chainz, Big Sean
0:03:47 > 0:03:49It's like a real big record.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51So I've got everyone on it who I wanted.
0:03:51 > 0:03:57I got all the songs I wanted to get as well, so...
0:03:57 > 0:04:01I love what you've done there.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Greg was so excited about your album that he wore his all night.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07It's probably better if I do it
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Look at this. We're going to recreate the album cover live.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12They're amazing, aren't they?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Tinie's album's come to life. Look at that.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18I feel like I'm in a very low-budget X-Men.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22Yeah!
0:04:22 > 0:04:25Joe, you're touring as well? Yes, I am, Russell.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27It's a bit of a cliche,
0:04:27 > 0:04:29but yours really is a meteoric rise into stand-up.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32To be touring already is pretty impressive stuff,
0:04:32 > 0:04:34don't you think, ladies and gentlemen?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:38 > 0:04:41And your touring show is called
0:04:41 > 0:04:43If Joe Lycett, You Should Have Put A Ring On It.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Yes, it is. What's it all about
0:04:46 > 0:04:47It's got nothing to do with Beyonce.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52It's just comedy for an hour, basically.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54I love puns.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Got some ones here.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Tinie and Caroline, I've got some real ones and some fake ones
0:04:59 > 0:05:01of Joe's ones that he's called his shows.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Tell me if they're real or not
0:05:03 > 0:05:06# Do you really Lycett? Is it is it wicked?
0:05:06 > 0:05:08# We're lovin' it, lovin' it lovin' it
0:05:08 > 0:05:09# We're lovin' it, Lycett! #
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Ooh. What do you reckon? I would like it to be one.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21You'd Lycett to be one. Shall we say no? Let's say no.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23It wasn't a show.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27Some Lycett Hot. Real show title or not real show title?
0:05:27 > 0:05:29I would say not real. Joe?
0:05:29 > 0:05:35It's a real show title. That was your first Edinburgh show. Sorry.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36That's all right.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39We clearly didn't see that one did we?
0:05:39 > 0:05:40When the kids try to get at you
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Drop it Lycett hot Drop it Lycett hot Drop it Lycett hot...
0:05:43 > 0:05:46When the kids try and get at you?
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Is that...?
0:05:47 > 0:05:52Just the "Drop it Lycett hot" bit. Yeah.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54That's simply not a show title
0:05:54 > 0:06:03I'm trying to make the game harder, Joe.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Sofas. Shall we go and hang on the sofas?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09I wish that happened in real life.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Come on over, come on over.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Better here, innit? This?
0:06:23 > 0:06:24I always feel more relaxed in the lounge.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26It's all right in the kitchen,
0:06:26 > 0:06:28but I'm more relaxed when we're all sat down here.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30This is like my mum's living room.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Oh, bye!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I think I may have broken a chair.
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Oh, no. It's like being on a plane.
0:06:42 > 0:06:47Would you like it more reclined sir? Tell me when.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51You get comfortable. Just tell me when. No, don't...
0:06:51 > 0:06:53It'll never be when, Greg.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Filthy, isn't he, Caroline? Lovely, that's perfect.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01If you need anything, just press the call bell above your head.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Tinie, I want to talk to you about music.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09What was the one thing that made you want to be a rapper?
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Well, I've always liked rap and hip-hop music,
0:07:12 > 0:07:15but it's always been a bit far away to me
0:07:15 > 0:07:16in the sense that it was American.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19So when they were talking about things like
0:07:19 > 0:07:21"I just did this on 12th Street in 5th Ave...",
0:07:21 > 0:07:25I didn't know what the hell they were going on about.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29So it wasn't until I saw the So Solid Crew, it was in 200 .
0:07:29 > 0:07:34I was 12 years old and they had that big song, 21 Seconds.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38So when I heard that, I was like, "Wow, these guys are from London.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42"They're talking about things I can relate to. Maybe this could happen." And then that was it.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46So we went through the internet trying to find earlier clips.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48I had a little ding-a-ling through the tring-a-ling-a-net
0:07:48 > 0:07:51to see if I could have a ding-a ling about your early sing-a-lings. OK.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54And this is what I found.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I spit for pop stop ding a ling a ling
0:07:56 > 0:07:57No ass, no chops, no ring a ling a ling
0:07:57 > 0:07:59I'm cool, not sure but if you want war
0:07:59 > 0:08:01My boys will draw for the ting a ling a ling
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I pack more than I swing a ling a ling
0:08:03 > 0:08:05HE MOUTHS ALONG
0:08:05 > 0:08:06..My ding a ling's long like string a ling a ling
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I got girls on my ting a ling a ling
0:08:10 > 0:08:11Not wifeys one night fling a ling a ling
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Recite it, try not to bite it
0:08:13 > 0:08:15But if you like it then sing a ling a ling
0:08:15 > 0:08:17I'm smokin' like ring a ling a ling
0:08:17 > 0:08:18And you're nearly hot like spring a ling a ling
0:08:18 > 0:08:22Keep on guard or I'll hit you hard with the ting...
0:08:22 > 0:08:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:24 > 0:08:25How old were you there?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27I must have been about 15.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Oh, wow.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32I have to say, it's quite Christmassy sounding, isn't it
0:08:32 > 0:08:37Those jingle bells go jing a ling a ling.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41I don't know how I managed to sneak "ding a ling a ling" into a rap
0:08:41 > 0:08:45You were rapping along to that Are you proud of that early stuff?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48I guess you have to. Everything is like growth,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50but sometimes you do look back
0:08:50 > 0:08:52You guys could have picked so much worse,
0:08:52 > 0:08:53so I'm just thankful for that.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56But yeah, I always look back on these things proud,
0:08:56 > 0:08:58because it's about how far you've come since then, you know.
0:08:58 > 0:09:03You talked about So Solid Crew Let's talk about Dolly Parton. OK.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07You were a big fan? Like I said this is like my mum's living room, so it brings back a lot of memories.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09She was heavily into Dolly Parton
0:09:09 > 0:09:13and Kenny Rogers. But more so Dolly Parton.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15I remember hearing all her songs
0:09:15 > 0:09:19coming out of my mum's living room. Jolene, Jolene,
0:09:19 > 0:09:21all that jazz. What I liked about it,
0:09:21 > 0:09:25which was why I did talk about it so much at the start of my career,
0:09:25 > 0:09:27is the art of storytelling.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Country and western songs are always about a weird story.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Dolly Parton had this song called DIVORCE, and she would spell it
0:09:35 > 0:09:38She would spell divorce because she didn't want the kids to hear
0:09:38 > 0:09:40that her and her partner were breaking up,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43and I thought things like that were really cool.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Tinie, if you weren't a rapper what would you have become?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48What were your other interests as a kid?
0:09:48 > 0:09:51If I look back on it now, I really like magic.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52So now that I've seen Dynamo,
0:09:52 > 0:09:56I'm like, "I wish I was Dynamo man."
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Caroline, you worked in magic as well. You were a magician's assistant.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03It was one of my first jobs.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06I was a magician's assistant. But not one of those glamorous
0:10:06 > 0:10:08kind of wear feathers and do that kind of thing.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09I just used to get in boxes.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11We have got a picture of back then. Let's have a look.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14LAUGHTER
0:10:14 > 0:10:15I used to get in really small boxes
0:10:15 > 0:10:18and then they would put swords through.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Through the box. And how is that trick done? It's not a trick.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23What do you mean? You just get taught. I was quite flexible.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26You just get taught how to dodge the sword.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28You literally guide the sword through.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30That is a shit Saturday job, isn't it?
0:10:30 > 0:10:31You get stabbed for a Saturday job.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35TINIE: I used to work in a call centre.
0:10:35 > 0:10:36I used to do double glazing.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38JOE: I did soffits and guttering.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40And I don't know what soffits are, still.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43A soffit actually underpins guttering.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45It's a device you put under an archway or on a corner.
0:10:45 > 0:10:46Oh, thank God! Thank you.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49I'm genuinely delighted that I've got that knowledge now.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50APPLAUSE
0:10:50 > 0:10:55Do you have to guess the gender of the person on the other
0:10:55 > 0:10:58end of the phone quite early on in the call?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01TINIE: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's scripted, yeah.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03JOE: They'd go, "Hello?" and you'd have to go "Hello, madam"?
0:11:03 > 0:11:06TINIE: Sir or madam, yeah. JOE: Cos I would get that wrong every time
0:11:06 > 0:11:08I did one where I rang up and you had to go,
0:11:08 > 0:11:11"Hello, is that the man of the house or is that the lady of the house "
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Cos I'm from the past.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18And I rang up once and they said hello and I said
0:11:18 > 0:11:20"Is that the lady of the house?
0:11:20 > 0:11:21And then clearly a man started
0:11:21 > 0:11:24laughing sarcastically for about a minute.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26And then just went, "Now, fuck off!"
0:11:26 > 0:11:27LAUGHTER
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Perfect response to that phone call, I feel.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31We should go back to your role as telesalesman.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34You should call Russell. What were selling?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Double glazing? So Tinie's selling double glazing. Re-enact that.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Give him the phone. Take the phone. So, you call Russell. Right.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44PHONE RINGS
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Hello?
0:11:46 > 0:11:49Hello, is this the man or the lady?
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Man. What can I do? I'm really busy.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I'm selling windows. Do you want some?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55LAUGHTER
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Talk me through what type of windows.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Have you got windows?
0:11:59 > 0:12:05I live in a bungalow where everything's bricked up.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08And it's underground. Go on, carry on.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Right. So, basically, these windows,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14they're usually on sale for about a grand,
0:12:14 > 0:12:16but you sound like a...
0:12:16 > 0:12:17A decent bloke. Yeah.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20So I'm going to do them for you at a 40% discount.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22How does that sound? Sounds good.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26We're in the local area, as a matter of fact, between today and tomorrow.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30So I'm going to say maybe four till six, you going to be around tomorrow?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32That's good, yeah. Yeah?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34I'm going to pass my phone onto my colleague, Joe.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Can I... He'll take your details. No, no, it's fine. It's fine.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40He'll take your details and we'll see you tomorrow. Cheers, mate
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Very kind. That's so good.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Hello, I've bought some windows, even though
0:12:45 > 0:12:47I live underground and I've got no windows.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50The reason I said yes was it's the same guy who came round before
0:12:50 > 0:12:53and he went straight in my toilet and used it.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54LAUGHTER
0:12:54 > 0:12:57JOE: You sound lovely.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59What are you wearing? Bye.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02APPLAUSE
0:13:02 > 0:13:04You worked at mini-golf? Oh, yeah. What happened there?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Well, that place was a bit mental.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12We had a boss there who was very sensitive and he would...
0:13:12 > 0:13:15We had this procedure for a bomb threat.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17And if somebody...
0:13:17 > 0:13:21Cos everyone wants to bomb a mini-golf, don't they?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Al-Qaeda's primary target. "There's too much fun in the West!"
0:13:24 > 0:13:28"We've done the Twin Towers, now the mini-golf!"
0:13:28 > 0:13:32And we had this script and he would ring up every month or so
0:13:32 > 0:13:34pretending to be a bomber.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37So you'd have to ring up and go "Hello?" And he'd go,
0:13:37 > 0:13:39"There's a bomb in the mini-golf "
0:13:39 > 0:13:41And you had to go, "Hello, Steve "
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Were you any good at playing mini-golf? No good at all.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46I've got bad news for you, then
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Because Greg has been up all night making you a mini-golf course.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52He's was wearing his Tinie Tempah glasses at the time,
0:13:52 > 0:13:53so it's not brilliant.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Do you want to play? Yeah! Let's go.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Excellent. Come on, Joe.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59APPLAUSE
0:14:00 > 0:14:05What we want you to do, we want you to hit the ball into either
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Tinie's mouth, Caroline's mouth or your mouth
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Now, it's literally impossible to get into Tinie's mouth from here.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Not the first time that's been said. I mean, I bloody try!
0:14:15 > 0:14:19Give it a go. Can I just?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22AUDIENCE GASP AND LAUGH
0:14:22 > 0:14:26APPLAUSE
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Yeah, you could do that.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34I didn't realise that was ceramic. I thought...
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Good job it wasn't the one with my grandad's ashes in it. Let's try this one.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43No. OK. So what you have to do now you've got rid of...
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I feel so alive after doing that!
0:14:45 > 0:14:47I want to smash everything up!
0:14:47 > 0:14:49OK. Watch out, Greg.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Just going to move those out of the way.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Yes! It was badly placed.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Let's try Flack.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Oh, I hit Flack, but it didn't get in her mouth!
0:15:00 > 0:15:02LAUGHTER
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Go a bit closer, if you like.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06You're allowed as many strokes as it takes to complete.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10LAUGHTER
0:15:10 > 0:15:12I like you.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15What I need to do is...
0:15:15 > 0:15:20There we go. Is "I need to be treated like a baby."
0:15:22 > 0:15:24CHEERING
0:15:24 > 0:15:28OK, let's go over here and ask this question to Caroline.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Caroline, your new boyfriend Jack Street
0:15:31 > 0:15:34is eight years younger than you
0:15:34 > 0:15:37What are the benefits of going out with a younger man?
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Umm... aren't really any benefits, really.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Is Jack Street eight years?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44Oh, no, eight years younger. Sorry.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45LAUGHTER
0:15:45 > 0:15:48That would be weird. Yeah. It's good, thanks.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Does he have lovely, smooth skin?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55LAUGHTER
0:15:55 > 0:15:57And firm buttocks?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59LAUGHTER
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Some of the relationships you've had
0:16:01 > 0:16:07have been quite high profile, haven't they?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Did it just go nuts?
0:16:09 > 0:16:12It was strange, because it was. .
0:16:12 > 0:16:15The weird thing with unconventional relationships is the only
0:16:15 > 0:16:17problem with it is other people
0:16:17 > 0:16:19And that's what you find.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Other people were a problem. Nothing else seemed to be a problem.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Did it make the relationship impossible in the end,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27because of people's idiotic behaviour around it?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Yeah, completely impossible. It was just... Yeah.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33There was the other thing that the papers gave you a hard time about.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Prince Harry. You like your Harrys.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38LAUGHTER
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Was that just a living hell?
0:16:40 > 0:16:42It's very weird when they turn something that's
0:16:42 > 0:16:45so personal to you into almost entertainment.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Do you know what I mean? It's not part of your job.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Relationships aren't part of your job. I know. So, yeah.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52It becomes a little bit invasive.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55All right, Joe, let's go back. Another question.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58OK, going to pop this in Tinie Temp-on.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59LAUGHTER
0:16:59 > 0:17:01There we go, lovely. There we go.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04APPLAUSE
0:17:04 > 0:17:06So what's the question for Tinie?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09Tinie, you wrote this tweet to Rihanna.
0:17:09 > 0:17:13"Oooh! I wanna fuck you right now."
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Did she go for it?
0:17:15 > 0:17:16LAUGHTER
0:17:16 > 0:17:20TINIE: No, unfortunately not. It's a lyric from one of her songs.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22JOE: Oh. So, you didn't want to
0:17:22 > 0:17:26TINIE: No, I do want to! But, no. I do want to.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27But, no, it wasn't...
0:17:27 > 0:17:30It was just a lyric from her song that I really liked at the time
0:17:30 > 0:17:33JOE: Did she reply? Did she retweet, fav? Did she fav it?
0:17:33 > 0:17:34TINIE: Yeah, she retweeted it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37JOE: She retweeted it? That's a good start, isn't it?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39TINIE: Definitely.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42JOE: Why didn't you follow it up at all?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45TINIE: I was busy. Whatevs about Rihanna. Whatevs
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Didn't you get a bit cosy with Cameron Diaz?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49No, just a friendship one.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51JOE: I want to know what celebrities everyone's fucked.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53That's what I want to know!
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Oh, we know Caroline's.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56AUDIENCE GASP AND LAUGH
0:17:56 > 0:18:00I don't think that deserves a clap. Soz, soz!
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Oh, I got it straight in my own mouth!
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Oh, OK.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11"of the X Factor announcer, Peter Dixon.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12"Can we hear it?"
0:18:12 > 0:18:14We want to hear it.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15CHEERING
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Who is a contestant this year?
0:18:17 > 0:18:23Oh, who is the really lovely one who is in the overs? What's her name?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Sam Bailey. Sam Bailey.
0:18:25 > 0:18:30Live from London...it's Sam Bailey!
0:18:30 > 0:18:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:33 > 0:18:36They weren't expecting that.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39My all-time favourite is Rachel Adedeji.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Rachel Adedeji!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45We could literally do it all day. All day.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Greg James!
0:18:48 > 0:18:52I tell you what would be brilliant, if you could just... Touch me!
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Thank you very much. Thanks. We've got a special guest.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Dianna Agron's in the bloody spare room. Sorry.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02Guys, help yourself to drinks.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Fitty in the spare room alert!
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Hey. Hi. Hi. Dianne Agron from Glee. How are you doing?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Good, how are you? How are you settling in?
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Yeah. It's good.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19Seeing as you are here, it would be a bit of a wasted opportunity
0:19:19 > 0:19:22if we didn't ask you a few questions. Is that OK? Sure.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26First question, Dianna, which one of us do you fancy the most
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Did you write these? You don't have to read all of them.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30Maybe that was a bit much.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34Next one. We all know you from Glee. Your new film is The Family.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Please tell us about your film My film is about a family.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40They are a mob family and they are hiding out in Normandy
0:19:40 > 0:19:43and trying to assimilate and it doesn't work very well.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Welcome to France. Try to fit in.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49I'm getting tired of trying finding you a new place to live every 90 days.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Do we still have the same names We are the Blake family.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Anything to report?
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Oops!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59They obviously judge better than we do.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02You're a maniac. Thank you.
0:20:02 > 0:20:08When I watch that scene in the film, I was initially quite turned on
0:20:08 > 0:20:13I was actually annoyed.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15This is my grandfather's.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Mine was much more destroyed than that.
0:20:18 > 0:20:19Got some French for you.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21We'll read you a French sentence.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23You can see if you can translate it. OK.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25HE SPEAKS FRENCH
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Back off, dog. No, I don't know what the first part is.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33"Bring me something to drink or I'll kill the dog."
0:20:33 > 0:20:37HE SPEAKS FRENCH
0:20:37 > 0:20:39No. Real sentence.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42"If my uncle shaves your uncle your uncle will be shaved."
0:20:42 > 0:20:46That's not true. I actually use that when I'm away. Show me that card.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Yeah, no.
0:20:48 > 0:20:52There are some notes on there about what I think about you.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55"The only real language in the world is a kiss."
0:20:57 > 0:20:58OK, the French for that is...
0:20:58 > 0:21:00HE SPEAKS FRENCH
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Greg, you wouldn't do it aggressive.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04You wouldn't go up to somebody going,
0:21:04 > 0:21:06"The only real language is a kiss."
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Oh, you've wooed me, with your violent request.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11So how would you say it then?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I would say it...
0:21:13 > 0:21:14HE SPEAKS FRENCH SOFTLY
0:21:14 > 0:21:17That's creepy. The pause was good too.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20And then a creepy hand kiss, you know, when a bit of time comes out.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24When a Frenchman does... "You look so beautiful."
0:21:24 > 0:21:27That's the worst thing you've ever done. A tiny hand kiss.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31That is gross. Dianna, thanks very much. Thanks for chatting to us
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Thank you. Greg fancies you.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36APPLAUSE
0:21:41 > 0:21:44CHEERING
0:21:45 > 0:21:49Good. Sorry about that. How fit was she? I had a full panic attack.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Now, Tinie, you are looking pretty sharp tonight.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55You always look sharp. It's quite intimidating to be around you.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Cheers. You've even won awards for looking sharp, haven't you
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Thanks, yeah. Are your glasses actually prescription...
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Don't need them at all.
0:22:02 > 0:22:08No, no. What? Yeah, I've said this many times
0:22:08 > 0:22:12I've just realised that me and Joe actually look the same
0:22:12 > 0:22:14We are the same human. Yeah, look.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19We've got white sneakers...
0:22:19 > 0:22:21although mine are dirty, soz.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24And we've got our little dress jumpers.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31So me and Russell are quite fascinated with your life.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33We managed to sneak along with you.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36You might not have realised we were there at the time.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40If we look at you at the MOBOs Let's look at that.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42We shrunk down. That is amazing
0:22:42 > 0:22:45I can get these shrinking pills from a mate of mine in Essex.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47We wanted a tiny slice of the Tinie life.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50So we miniaturised ourselves and have been following you around. OK.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I reckon our favourite experience
0:22:52 > 0:22:55was going to Radio 1's Big Weekend in 2010.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Yeah. I played in North Wales. We loved going there.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00# Yeah, yeah...
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Yeah, boy. Yeah! I'm in Tinie's pocket.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Come on, Greg, you dick. You are missing it.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18What is this? Get into it. So hot and loud.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23You have been in the pocket, you dick. Take these of. Argh!
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Hey! What's going on? Hey, up there! He's going to leave the stage.
0:23:35 > 0:23:36Argh!
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Actually this is quite nice.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49She threw her knickers. Look at the size of them!
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Make some noise.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03That was a gig! So weird. That was hilarious.
0:24:03 > 0:24:15It's so weird cos I wear that same outfit on stage, as well.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Tinie, you have one more job. OK.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20We need to hear that single. All right.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23We love it. You've got John Martin here, as well. I have.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25So to play us out tonight, it's Tinie Tempah with John Martin,
0:24:25 > 0:24:27new single is Children Of The Sun.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29CHEERING DROWNS SPEECH
0:24:29 > 0:24:33# Lookin' for a light that can outshine the sun
0:24:33 > 0:24:35# I know one day our time will come
0:24:35 > 0:24:38# Bought a camera to capture these cinematic nights
0:24:38 > 0:24:42# Still don't satisfy my appetite for this lavish life
0:24:42 > 0:24:45# Tell me, Doctor, am I fit for all these flashing lights?
0:24:45 > 0:24:48# Like Michael said, it doesn't matter if you're black or white
0:24:48 > 0:24:51# Look at the colours that's under the sun above us
0:24:51 > 0:24:52# All we have is each other
0:24:52 > 0:24:55# In case you happen to wonder Let's go!
0:24:55 > 0:24:56# Lay down your head
0:24:56 > 0:24:58# You're not alone
0:24:58 > 0:25:01# Anywhere you go, I'll follow
0:25:01 > 0:25:04# Oh, we are the children of the sun
0:25:04 > 0:25:08# That's all you need to know
0:25:08 > 0:25:10# Lay down your head # Greg James
0:25:10 > 0:25:11# You're not alone # Russell Kane
0:25:11 > 0:25:14# Anywhere you go, I'll follow # Staying in!
0:25:14 > 0:25:18# We are the children of the sun # John Martin
0:25:18 > 0:25:20# That's all you need to know # Yeah
0:25:20 > 0:25:22# Moonwalker like Michael
0:25:22 > 0:25:23# Skywalk all over my rivals
0:25:23 > 0:25:25# Both hands on that Bible
0:25:25 > 0:25:26# Man, I'm next in line for that title
0:25:26 > 0:25:28# Man, had nothing to do I was idle
0:25:28 > 0:25:30# Was in the studio with Taio
0:25:30 > 0:25:32# Now we're c-c-c-c-climbing high
0:25:32 > 0:25:33# We ain't on no Kilimanjaro
0:25:33 > 0:25:35# Now they p-p-p-p-panicking
0:25:35 > 0:25:37# They don't really know what's happening
0:25:37 > 0:25:38# Now we've got our clothes on a mannequin
0:25:38 > 0:25:40# We don't want no comparison
0:25:40 > 0:25:41# I overdosed on extravagance
0:25:41 > 0:25:43# Went for gold and got platinum
0:25:43 > 0:25:45# I told my bro to get an ambulance
0:25:45 > 0:25:46# Cos I caught a cold and went spaz on 'em
0:25:46 > 0:25:48# Yeah...
0:25:48 > 0:25:49# How can home be where the heart is
0:25:49 > 0:25:51# When your shadow even leaves you
0:25:51 > 0:25:52# When you are in darkness?
0:25:52 > 0:25:54# Still get stopped by Sergeant Pepper
0:25:54 > 0:25:56# Looking for that Ziggy Stardust
0:25:56 > 0:25:57# After a lifetime of regret
0:25:57 > 0:26:00# I'm just looking for some answers Yeah
0:26:00 > 0:26:01# Lay down your head
0:26:01 > 0:26:03# You're not alone
0:26:03 > 0:26:06# Anywhere you go, I'll follow
0:26:06 > 0:26:09# Oh, we are the children of the sun
0:26:09 > 0:26:13# That's all you need to know # That's all you need to know!
0:26:13 > 0:26:14# Lay down your head
0:26:14 > 0:26:16# You're not alone
0:26:16 > 0:26:19# Anywhere you go, I'll follow
0:26:19 > 0:26:22# We are the children of the sun # The children of the sun
0:26:22 > 0:26:25# That's all you need to know
0:26:25 > 0:26:27# I had opportunity at my window
0:26:27 > 0:26:28# Wise words on my Kindle
0:26:28 > 0:26:30# Disturbing London, we raise the bar
0:26:30 > 0:26:31# Your team is stuck in limbo
0:26:31 > 0:26:33# Like Freddie, Bruno Ringo
0:26:33 > 0:26:35# I saw the signs and symbols
0:26:35 > 0:26:36# With that top down on my yellow ride
0:26:36 > 0:26:38# Let bitches hate on my bimbo
0:26:38 > 0:26:40# I'm yards away from that milestone
0:26:40 > 0:26:41# International dial tone
0:26:41 > 0:26:44# Put me through Amaro when you Instagram on your iPhone
0:26:44 > 0:26:46# From yellow bricks to them brownstones
0:26:46 > 0:26:48# I ring bells, I'm household
0:26:48 > 0:26:50# Look at all the rappers we out-sold, so shh...
0:26:50 > 0:26:51# Keep your mouth closed
0:26:51 > 0:26:52# And yeah
0:26:52 > 0:26:54# How did I become so jaded?
0:26:54 > 0:26:56# Maybe all these insecurities
0:26:56 > 0:26:57# Are making me feel naked
0:26:57 > 0:26:59# Feel like Harry did in Vegas
0:26:59 > 0:27:00# Had my privacy invaded
0:27:00 > 0:27:02# That's a liberty, a pity
0:27:02 > 0:27:04# The epitome of what fame is
0:27:04 > 0:27:05# P-P-Priests up in my parish
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# Keep on putting me in their prayers
0:27:07 > 0:27:08# Swear I'd never sell my soul
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# My pride and dignity is too major
0:27:10 > 0:27:11# Yeah
0:27:11 > 0:27:13# We rarely ever get those second chances
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# After a lifetime of regret
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# I'm just looking for some answers Yeah
0:27:17 > 0:27:19# Lay down your head
0:27:19 > 0:27:21# You're not alone
0:27:21 > 0:27:24# Anywhere you go, I'll follow
0:27:24 > 0:27:28# Oh, we are the children of the sun I love the way that looks!
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# That's all you need to know It's all you need to know
0:27:30 > 0:27:32# Lay down your head
0:27:32 > 0:27:34# You're not alone Yeah
0:27:34 > 0:27:37# Anywhere you go, I'll follow Demonstration
0:27:37 > 0:27:40# Out now! We are the children of the sun
0:27:40 > 0:27:44# That's all you need to know. #
0:27:50 > 0:27:53CHEERING
0:27:59 > 0:28:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd