0:00:02 > 0:00:05For centuries explorers have battled with Mother Nature.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Now, pampered comedian Russell Kane...
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Ah! It's freezing.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11..wants to join their ranks...
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- I miss my mum. - ..by tackling extreme survival...
0:00:15 > 0:00:17- Argh!- ..with just...
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- This.- ..a mobile phone?
0:00:20 > 0:00:22How to find water in the desert.
0:00:22 > 0:00:26- I use my phone for everything. - Turn the choke all the way down.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28They got billions of users around the world.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30The web has all the answers.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33It's here on the map! That's it there.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Joined by the internet's brightest stars...
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- I'm a son of a Jedi. - ..and their legions of followers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Does it get physical?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42I don't think the production team
0:00:42 > 0:00:45are always going to be taking it easy that on us.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Together, they'll face the worst that nature can throw at them.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Russell!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I just want to know that if we get bitten by something,
0:00:52 > 0:00:53we've got the antidote.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55- Oh, God!- Yeah, the team will ensure that we are safe
0:00:55 > 0:00:58and that we always have internet reception.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00They're accompanied by a barely helpful crew...
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Please! Come on, guys.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05..who'll be going in the odd curveball.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06The doors don't close.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08They'll use their signal...
0:01:08 > 0:01:10- We've got a bag of poo. - ..for survival.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Mind the bag! Who said that?- Yes!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14I love you, internet!
0:01:15 > 0:01:19This time, it's internet versus the Arctic...
0:01:19 > 0:01:21How are we going to get across that?
0:01:21 > 0:01:26..as Russell treks the tundra with lifestyle vloggers Rose and Rosie.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29So, Rosie and I have been married now for six months.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32They'll need to conquer extreme temperatures...
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Yes! Fire!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35..and a fear of the dark...
0:01:35 > 0:01:36THEY SCREAM
0:01:36 > 0:01:38- What?- I thought it was a finger or something.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40It's going to be OK.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42..in their search for the Northern Lights.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Crazy!
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Godspeed, stupid man.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11I've been posting in the days leading up to this,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14and someone posted me an article that the Arctic Tundra
0:02:14 > 0:02:15- which we're on the cusp of...- OK.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- ..is the hardest place to survive on the whole of Earth.- Oh.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20Harder than, like, the hot desert?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- Yeah.- Harder than the desert, harder than Southend, where I grew up.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26All I'm worried about is where to go to the toilet.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28- Yeah, me too.- Yeah, the same.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30There is a guy who I've been told to meet.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- He's going to give us some survival tips.- OK.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Probably help us out a bit. Point us in the right direction, so we can
0:02:34 > 0:02:38start trying to find the best place to view the Northern Lights.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40- OK.- OK.- Clear?- Yeah.- Clear. - Let's go.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- Let's do it.- I reckon we should go that way, for no reason whatsoever!
0:02:46 > 0:02:48Don't fall on the ice.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57Did you bring loo roll?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- I didn't bring toothpaste. - I brought loo roll.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- I brought no toothpaste. - I haven't brought anything.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05- I've got a bit. We can share it. - You're not sharing it.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10All right. Guys?
0:03:10 > 0:03:13I've found a really good app that actually translates
0:03:13 > 0:03:15stuff into whatever language you want it too.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- It won't have Norwegian on there. - It's got Norwegian on there!
0:03:19 > 0:03:20- Result.- Shall we try it?
0:03:20 > 0:03:23We need to ask him where are the Northern Lights.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26Right. Where are the Northern Lights?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- A-ha.- There it is. It's working.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32- PHONE:- Hvor er nordlyset?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34"Whore I know Lisa?"
0:03:34 > 0:03:35"Whore I know Lisa."
0:03:36 > 0:03:38It sounds like a misogynist Geordie!
0:03:40 > 0:03:42Can you see if you can make it say,
0:03:42 > 0:03:44"Have you got a selection of meats and cheeses?"
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Yeah. Hold on.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- Let's do it. - BANG
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Whoa, whoa!
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- What the hell?- Someone just shot... - Oh, my God!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54We're from England. Please don't shoot.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's probably our guide.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- The guide.- Now, remember, what's the language?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Hvor er nordyset. - I'll get the banter off him.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- Hi.- Hello.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Hi.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11- Hvor er nordyset?- Hvor er nordyset?
0:04:13 > 0:04:17THEY ATTEMPT TO SPEAK NORWEGIAN
0:04:17 > 0:04:18That's German.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25THEY ATTEMPT TO SPEAK NORWEGIAN
0:04:25 > 0:04:27HE SPEAKS NORWEGIAN
0:04:27 > 0:04:29THEY ATTEMPT TO SPEAK NORWEGIAN
0:04:29 > 0:04:32HE SPEAKS NORWEGIAN
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Ah, all the way through there. That looks like a long way away.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Just as we suspected. - I've got one more question.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Do you speak English?- Yeah. - Oh. Thank God!
0:04:44 > 0:04:48OK, so where exactly is the best place to see the Northern Lights?
0:04:48 > 0:04:51It's like up there, like two or three days' walk from here
0:04:51 > 0:04:55- towards the Sami village. - Sami village? What's that?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58It's the indigenous people of Norway.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00What, are they like an Eskimo type of people?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Yeah.- Really?- Yes, it's like that.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- We're going to see Eskimos! - Living with the reindeer,
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- or living off the land. - No way!- Yeah.- OK.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- Well, that's pretty awesome. - That's pretty cool.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- How well are you equipped?- The three of us are just going to survive...
0:05:13 > 0:05:17- OK.- ..using just this piece of equipment. Let me show you.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18This.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21No.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23We've got rechargers. And we've got a signal.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- And that's it.- That's it. - And warm clothes.- OK.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Everything else, we've got to create.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- How about a good, like, a cooker and stuff?- We can Google.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35We've brought what we thought we would need.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Yeah. You have a cutting tool, a knife?
0:05:37 > 0:05:38- Axe, something like that?- No.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43OK. But I have something here over in my bag.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47You can have the birds from today's hunt.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49That's the thing you have on your head.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51But I've got this underneath.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54It's like my gangster dooley.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Aw, thank you so much!
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Velcro at the back!- It's all here.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02This is the best tool you can have up here.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04That's the Sami knife.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Sami knife.- Somewhere.
0:06:07 > 0:06:10- Knife stuff.- OK. - That's what you would need.
0:06:11 > 0:06:12Scandinavian survival food.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14- Yes!- That's good stuff.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17When it's real cold you need energy, this is the stuff.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- OK.- What is it?- It's good stuff.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Promise.- Every vegan celiac wants to hear.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- Oh, thank you so much.- At least you have a little bit extra supply,
0:06:27 > 0:06:31but without a knife, an axe, you would have big trouble.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34OK. Well, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for the grub.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37If anything happens to us, don't turn me into a hat. Please!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Cool. OK. Bye! Wish us luck.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41I've always wanted to be a rug.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- I'm just throwing it out there. - Let's go, guys.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I've been walked on most of my life.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49They have no idea what they're doing.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52I think, like, just using your phone to survive out here that's...
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I've seen quite a few stupid ideas,
0:06:56 > 0:06:59but that's one of the top of the list, I would say,
0:06:59 > 0:07:02of stupid survival ideas.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Right, we need to download a night-light app,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08because I'm absolutely terrified of the dark.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10No, like, really, like,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13I have to sleep at home with all the lights on, or at least,
0:07:13 > 0:07:15the curtains open and a night-light on.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21I didn't actually realise that!
0:07:21 > 0:07:22You're going to be really annoying.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I'm a bit worried, but...
0:07:24 > 0:07:26they have good spirit, so that...
0:07:27 > 0:07:29..that might help them.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31I'm missing a glove.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Right, backtrack. - Well, we're going to...
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Rosie, this is exactly why you'll die first.- Did I give it to you?
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Did I give it to someone? I'm really cold!
0:07:39 > 0:07:40I really don't think so.
0:07:40 > 0:07:45I very much hope I won't be picking up some stiff bodies on
0:07:45 > 0:07:48the top of the mountain, one of the...
0:07:50 > 0:07:51- ..one of the days.- Wait!
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Oh, my God! I'm not even joking! I've found my glove!
0:07:53 > 0:07:56THEY CHEER
0:07:56 > 0:07:57- Oh, well done!- Oh!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Thank God for that.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- Oh, my God! Look at these! - Oh, my God!- It's like the Olympics.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15That's a very yellow icicle I'm holding.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Oh, my God. There's probably some Viking up there,
0:08:17 > 0:08:19weeing off the edge!
0:08:21 > 0:08:23So we're still going north and we've decided to take the most
0:08:23 > 0:08:25dangerous path possible.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28He definitely pointed this way for the Sami village.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30He said, "Just keep going north."
0:08:30 > 0:08:32But this is starting to look really wrong.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36It doesn't look particularly safe to me, up here.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39No. We're going to fall. There's no way I'm going to break something.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Shit the bed! How are we going to get across that?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46With difficulty.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50Guys, how do we cross snowy...
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Rock face with no equipment? With no climbing equipment.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00All I get is, "When are you going to come out? When are you going to come out?" That's all people tweet back.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03"Are you gay?"
0:09:03 > 0:09:05"Can you show a pic so we have an idea what you have to cross?"
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Shall I take a picture? - "Can't your boyfriend help you?"
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Right, so, we stick close to the wall.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20We can maybe scramble across the middle bit?
0:09:20 > 0:09:24- Could we have the plan with less technical detail, please?- Yeah!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27It's called Russell-go-first!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Right, OK. Thought it might be!
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Just remember, try and keep as close to the rocks as possible.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- OK.- You go up.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Is up...- Yeah. Hold on.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Argh!- Hold on,
0:09:42 > 0:09:44And are you all right with me touching your bum?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Yes.- Right. Only if you're catching up.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50OK. Just let me know when the rule's not longer functioning.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53I'm going to test... Careful. That's loose.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- That's-that's... - Why didn't we bring rope?
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- That's OK. Whoa! - You all right, Rosie? Yeah.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- Whoa!- Russ, you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Honestly, stand-up is scary enough.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09OK, be careful here, Rose.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Yeah. Also, watch your eyes.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14Fuck's sake!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Careful, guys, it's steep.
0:10:27 > 0:10:33- Yeah!- Oh, my God! We're alive. - Group hug!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Can't believe we did it.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36That was really hard. I nearly fell a couple of times.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Oh, my God.- Yeah, I know. I really slid at one point.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40I nearly filled my waterproof pants.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43And it was horrible as well cos I was just facing the wall,
0:10:43 > 0:10:45so all I could see was wall, so I was like,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48- "Rosie, are you still there?" - Thank you for looking after me.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- It's OK.- We should push on.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Any idea which way we go from here?
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Down here, do you think?
0:10:55 > 0:10:56- Yeah.- Oh, great.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Just head down. - It's not over at all.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- When's the hottest part of the day? - There isn't one.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05PHONE: What are the symptoms of hypothermia that you know
0:11:05 > 0:11:06I need to take action now?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09'Simply shivering. That is your moment to act
0:11:09 > 0:11:12'because after you shiver you can literally go rigid.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15'Even your brain goes numb. You might have slurred speech,
0:11:15 > 0:11:16'just, say, a downward spiral.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20'So, really, OK, I'm shivering, it's time to improve my situation.'
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Oh, I'm starving. I'll have yours.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- Yeah.- The only thing we've got left, I'm afraid, are weird tins,
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- where I don't even know what's in it.- Do we have an idea what's in it?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- Is it like a soup?- Well, there's a picture of a fish on it.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40It's called Oskar's surstromming.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Right, chuck me one over.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Ow! Joking.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Ready? Go for it. OK.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- Ooh, careful, Rose.- Mmm! - Yes, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52- Are you in?- Oh, my God.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54That was like someone farted through fish.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- I'm not even...- Argh!
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Did you see that?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- I heard it.- It squirted pure fish juice in my eye.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- I'm not even joking.- Oh, my God. It stinks. I can smell it from here.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Like... Oh, my God. It's so overpowering.
0:12:09 > 0:12:10That's absolutely disgusting.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12- I can't breathe. - That is horrible.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I got a non-consensual facial with fish juice!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19I can't watch you eat it!
0:12:19 > 0:12:21That is raw fish, ungutted.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I don't think you should eat raw fish guts.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27All right, I'll Google if it's OK to eat raw fish guts.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29What is it? What is it called?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31It's surstromming.
0:12:31 > 0:12:37S-U-R-S. And then "tromming." T-R-O-M-M-I-N-G. All one word.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41He's got a tin, just like ours. It's got the fish on the tin.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43OK, I'm not eating it.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45The herring, it contains so much carcinogenic,
0:12:45 > 0:12:46ie cancer-causing,
0:12:46 > 0:12:49dioxin and PCB which it absorbs from the Baltic Sea,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51that it would be illegal to sell it under EU rules,
0:12:51 > 0:12:53if not for the cultural exemption, so that...
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- I can't...- Only because the Swedes have said,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58"Oh, it's a cultural tradition," that it's even legal.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00I found a video.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04'So, this is the number two
0:13:04 > 0:13:06'on the list of the world's smelliest foods.'
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Oh!
0:13:08 > 0:13:09It's making me feel sick.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11THEY SCREAM
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- All over him! - That happened in my eye.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- That.- Urgh!- Oh, my God. I can see the smell.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19MAN IN VIDEO RETCHES
0:13:22 > 0:13:25- She's going to be sick. - This is making it worse.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27I've got to eat this.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh!
0:13:29 > 0:13:31It's like a fat Santa throwing up.
0:13:32 > 0:13:33That is not Santa.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35HE CONTINUES RETCHING
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Eurgh!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I feel sorry...
0:13:41 > 0:13:43He's got snot coming out of his nose!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I knew it was rotten fish.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49I knew it was rotten fish. I didn't know it was going to spray.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Are you OK?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54THEY SCREAM
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Why?- You nearly threw the phone in the fish juice.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- Twonk!- Right, I'm not eating it.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03You're not eating it. You're not eating it.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- I'm certainly not eating. - We're going to lose light.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- We've got to get the hell out of here.- We need to find food.- OK.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11I'm not eating cancer rotten fish. We have got a frozen bird,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14but I'd rather keep that for absolute emergencies.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16- Mm-hm.- Have berries? - We might find a porridge plant.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Or I saw a Coco Pops tree down the road.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37I just had one of the worst experiences of my life,
0:14:37 > 0:14:41and I've done an all-inclusive to Faliraki when I was 18,
0:14:41 > 0:14:42where I didn't have sex.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45I am now stained with stinky fish smell.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46I've anti-bacced it,
0:14:46 > 0:14:50but all I am now is an antibacterial, stinky fish tramp.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54And I'm too scared to have a wee, because I...
0:14:55 > 0:14:59..I don't want to transfer the smell of the fish to, you know...
0:15:11 > 0:15:13It's really dark. Like, don't you think
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- we should make a fire now? - Yeah, we need to make a fire.
0:15:15 > 0:15:19I don't really want to go any further in because, like...
0:15:19 > 0:15:22the more we're going in, the scarier it looks.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24I'm really scared of the dark, like,
0:15:24 > 0:15:26I literally have to sleep with the light on.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28It's not a small fear, it's a...
0:15:28 > 0:15:30I don't know why, but I'm just terrified.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32I could cry. I don't even know what it is.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- I'm just scared someone is watching me. And, like...- Boo!- Agh!
0:15:37 > 0:15:41This is ridiculous. I'm so hungry and frozen.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44I'm not even paranoid about pooing any more, I'm that cold.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47We've packed head torches, warm clothes.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- I didn't bring matches and neither did you.- No.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50How are we going to start a fire?
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Well, it can be done.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I know you can rub, like, sticks together.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57There is this one lady that...
0:15:57 > 0:16:00I mean, I've got to be honest, I've looked at her videos in the past.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- OK.- The tours are long, what can I say?
0:16:03 > 0:16:05And her name is Bunny Hunter.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07So what does she do?
0:16:07 > 0:16:10She does extreme survivalism, but she's hot as well.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12- OK.- That's all right. - Probably makes more sense...
0:16:12 > 0:16:16Probably makes more sense if I show you this. Watch this.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Some may find these images disturbing.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- Oh.- All right.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25'I've got my 1650 psi...
0:16:26 > 0:16:30'..air rifle. I'm going to go squirrel hunting.'
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I mean, for me, this is just about the survival information.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Yeah, of course, of course.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37She's going in for the kill.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38GUNSHOT
0:16:38 > 0:16:39ROSIE AND ROSE GASP
0:16:39 > 0:16:42- That's sad, really. - I know.- It's horrible.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44But we need to use her for her skills.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46She's definitely going to know how to light a fire.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49So freezing. Like, if you take your hand out of your glove
0:16:49 > 0:16:52for one second to use the phone, like, you just freeze, don't you?
0:16:52 > 0:16:53You lose it. You lose it. It's gone.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Hey, guys.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57This clearing. Yeah?
0:16:58 > 0:16:59- Everyone good?- Do it.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03How much have we got? Oh, yes.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06PHONE RINGS
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Hi, Bunny, I'm Russell.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- 'Hey, Russell.'- That's Rosie.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- Hi!- 'Hi, hi.'
0:17:12 > 0:17:14- And that's Rose.- Hi, Bunny!
0:17:14 > 0:17:17- 'Y'all look cold.'- Yeah! - It's freezing!
0:17:17 > 0:17:18It's freezing.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Our primary concern is how to build a fire
0:17:20 > 0:17:22and I know that's something you know how to do.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24'What type of supplies do you have there?'
0:17:24 > 0:17:27- We've got just...- Knives, wood...
0:17:27 > 0:17:33- some tampons.- Tampons. - 'Tampons? You said it right there.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35'Tampons are extremely flammable.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38'What you want to do is unfurl the edges,
0:17:38 > 0:17:43'so that it is puffed out and is easy for the fire to catch on
0:17:43 > 0:17:46'and it will light up right away with no problem.'
0:17:46 > 0:17:49So, what about actually making the spark,
0:17:49 > 0:17:51like, generating the spark, Bunny?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53'I see that you have a knife...'
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Yeah.- '..with a magnesium rod, which we call a ferro rod,
0:17:56 > 0:17:57'here in the States.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01'What you want to do is take the back of the knife
0:18:01 > 0:18:04'and flick it against the magnesium.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06'And this is going to start a spark.'
0:18:06 > 0:18:09All I know is I'm going to be rubbing my ferro rod
0:18:09 > 0:18:11as hard as I can. So watch out, ladies.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Ew!- Thank you, Bunny. - Bye!- Life-saver.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- Bye!- 'Bye, y'all!'
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Right, where are the Tammy Wynettes? That's what I called them at school.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- Oh, it's nice. It's a nicer name. - Tammy Wynettes.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- I like it.- Oh, my God,
0:18:25 > 0:18:27this is the weirdest thing that I've ever done.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- Have you ever held one before? - Is it?- Yeah, obviously
0:18:29 > 0:18:32at school you throw them around the playground
0:18:32 > 0:18:33and then you get suspended.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37This looks like a really bad night out.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38OK.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- Ready?- Yeah.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It works, it works.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46You've got smoke. That's pretty good.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50THEY CHEER
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Yes! Fire!
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Use the back of the knife.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58I got a bigger flame off the back cos there's more surface area.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- There we are. Yes!- Woo!
0:19:00 > 0:19:01# Burn, baby, burn. #
0:19:01 > 0:19:04There's so much heat being generated from that.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07I can't believe, like, from a tampon and a sparking knife...
0:19:07 > 0:19:09- I know!- ..I'm warming my hand.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12This, essentially, guys, could keep us alive.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Thank God for my tampons as well.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- Yes, thank God. - Thank God you're a woman.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Can I just say, for the record, I know it's a joke phobia,
0:19:22 > 0:19:24because it's not properly recognised,
0:19:24 > 0:19:27but this is the first time I have ever touched, like, a dead bird.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29You know, if the cat brings one in and it's half alive,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I have to cry in the kitchen until Lindsay gets home.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36People are saying, "Why not use the quill to write your obituary with?"
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Hashtag - cook it thoroughly.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Er... Yeah, so, obviously, I'm a vegan.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45I just... I don't eat animals. I just don't want to eat animals.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47There's a video here. Hold on.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- OK.- There seems to be some sort of video.
0:19:49 > 0:19:54'So just remove the feathers. I'll tie these up afterwards.'
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- They're just coming away. - He's just grabbing them.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Oh, well done. You're doing it already.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- Well, I just think... - Don't put them all everywhere!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- You're making a mess.- Oh, my God.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06OK. Shall I take its head off?
0:20:06 > 0:20:08Well, I just think, once the head is off it,
0:20:08 > 0:20:10it's going to be easier to gut it and stuff.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11It's less like a person.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Is a bird a person? This is for Anne Boleyn.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18- Ugh!- Agh!
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Did that do it?
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Yes!
0:20:22 > 0:20:23I got the head off it.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25'Cut down either side of the lines on that,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27'once you've removed the skin.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- 'And then there's a line underneath.'- Ugh!
0:20:29 > 0:20:31He's got the skin off straightaway, look!
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- 'Just peel it back.' - That is mingin'.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Guys, I'm going in. Here we go.- Oh, Rose!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38I can see horrible stuff down there.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- Down its leg. - Do not inhale dead meat.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Ugh.- 'If you're a bit squeamish, I'm sorry.'
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- Oh, Russell. Oh, my God. - Don't. Please, please don't.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Ooh, something just popped.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I think it might have been my moral core.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56See, I am fine now. In fact, I'm quite enjoying it.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58I've got...one...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01..breast of a Norwegian grouse.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06OK, it says here that you have to place the meat wherever you can
0:21:06 > 0:21:09hold your hand comfortably for five seconds over the fire.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11One, two, three, four, five.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14- Yes, is that close enough? - No, no, no.- A bit closer?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Yes, so not too close, else it will burn.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18So five seconds comfortably.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Trying to..- Kind of get like... - Oh, yeah.- Yay!
0:21:22 > 0:21:27Dudes! I know what you're feeling, but we have done it.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29That isn't appetising to me.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Right. But I am jealous that you have food.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34We have forgotten the wine, though, and I feel such an idiot.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38- I'm going to go for a taste. OK. You ready?- Yeah.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- That's a big bit.- That was massive.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- Amazing.- Really? Honestly? - Is it, really? Is it really good?
0:21:44 > 0:21:45It's like a cross between...
0:21:47 > 0:21:50- ..beef and duck. - That tastes so nice.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Try a bit of mine. It's really tender, that bit.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- It's really tender.- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah. Get stuck in.- Oh, my...!
0:21:55 > 0:21:57That is so nice.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00- It is really good.- I did not expect it to taste so good.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02That has...
0:22:02 > 0:22:04got the magical seasoning you can't buy.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07And do you know what that seasoning is? A sense of satisfaction.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Sleeping bag.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22It's really weird going to bed in your clothes.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Oh, no, that's not weird.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26It's weird going to bed in the Antarctic.
0:22:26 > 0:22:27No, where are we? Arctic.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Arctic! I don't really know how I'm going to sleep out here.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Erm, I'm not particularly a good sleeper anyway,
0:22:35 > 0:22:40so to fall asleep at -15 isn't going to be easy, so to speak.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44We'll see. Wish me luck. OK, guys. Bye.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Night, girls.- Night, Russell!
0:23:06 > 0:23:08How am I going to do this?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Quickly stick the arse end in there.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13That's all the survival blankets.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15We didn't even last the night.
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Like, we were so proud, we got the fire lit,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18we got into our sleeping bags and everything.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I got so cold that the safety team actually pulled us out and said,
0:23:21 > 0:23:25"You, literally, you can't stay here."
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Let's keep moving, guys. If you're stuck here,
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- you're going to freeze to death. - Seriously, this is bleak, isn't it?
0:23:31 > 0:23:33In the middle of a forest in the snow.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36I'll just say for the record, now that the girls are out of vision,
0:23:36 > 0:23:37I was up for giving it a go.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39I think when it gets down to the minus figures
0:23:39 > 0:23:41and snow is landing on your actual face,
0:23:41 > 0:23:44there's a chance you could die. And I do really want to be on TV,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47but then I want to be able to be in the lounge,
0:23:47 > 0:23:48watching myself afterwards.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Oh, my God. My feet are killing me.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52How many pairs of socks have you got on?
0:23:52 > 0:23:55- I'm still freezing. - I'm so hungry, guys.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Rosie, you must be literally near to death.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00I am. I'm starving.
0:24:00 > 0:24:05I'm hungry. I'm so hungry and I just have to find something.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I need it to survive, basically.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09We're not going to get to the Northern Lights,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11unless I have something to eat.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Just anything that looks berry-like, just pick it up.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- Right. Here you go.- And we will work out what is safe
0:24:18 > 0:24:22- when we are back by the light, OK? - Good plan.- There's one.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25There's a few. I don't know if they are safe or not.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Pop them in the tin.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29I've got more than one. I've got one and a half.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- What, mushrooms or berries? - No, berries.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Guys, I found another one.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35One of the red ones we keep finding.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I'm going to tweet one of these.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Get them real close-up, so they can see it.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- That's it. That's it.- The leaf has got to be in the picture.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. - Like that, yeah?- Good point.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Well done.- Nice one.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Why don't you say, "Anyone know, can you eat this?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- "Hashtag - what is it?"- Yeah.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56There's not as many as I thought there would be.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58It's a little disappointing.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I'm sure that's poisonous, but there we go.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Do you know what? I didn't even think about it.
0:25:11 > 0:25:12What is that?
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- Mate, that's light!- Map, map.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19- Map it! Good idea.- Always thinking, always thinking.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21- Google map. - He's going to drop a pin.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- OK.- Oh, God. She's still on there, that picture of that girl.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28- So you can use your phone location, right?- Yeah, there it is.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31That must be that. A one-minute walk away.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- It's definitely that.- Oh, my God. - It's actually got a website.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Yes!- It must be like a Travelodge or something for people
0:25:36 > 0:25:39that are coming to see the Northern Lights cos there are people on...
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- It looks like holiday.- Yeah, yeah.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Is it cheating if we phone that and go and stay in there?
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Well, we've got no money, so... let's see what we can do.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- Blag our way on. - Don't make me laugh.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52I'm going to laugh.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Hello. Hi. Do you speak English?
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Hello. Yeah.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Erm, we are some travellers...
0:25:59 > 0:26:03We are doing, like, a survival trip around northern Norway
0:26:03 > 0:26:06and I was just wondering if we could pop in?
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Yes? Yes, we can.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- What?!- Yes, we can pop in.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13OK. Thank you. Thank you.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We are so cold.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18- Result, guys.- Yeah!- Stopping off.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Now, stay here. I'll go and speak to her and make sure she is cool.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24- Then I'll come back and get you guys, OK?- Don't die.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Finally, warm!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Wait, I think we could spoil the effect if we turn up with a camera.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I genuinely do want to get shelter here.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37I'll go and sort out that and then we can film the bits afterwards.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38All right. Hang here.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Hello?
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Hello?
0:26:47 > 0:26:50This journey so far has honestly been a lot harder
0:26:50 > 0:26:51than I expected it to be.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53The cold I didn't think was going to be an issue
0:26:53 > 0:26:56cos I knew I'd have gloves and all the proper equipment,
0:26:56 > 0:26:57So I thought, "Do you know what? No.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59"That will be the easiest bit." Hardest bit.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01The cold makes everything so much worse.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04It accentuates all of your feelings, like, emotionally and physically.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06When you panic, it's more panic.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08- Yeah.- When you're cold, you just get upset cold, not just cold
0:27:08 > 0:27:10because you can't just put the heating on.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13- And when you cry, your tears freeze. - Freeze.- So it's painful on the face.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17So it's already mounting up to be quite a nasty experience in general.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19It's not a hotel, but we have got some form of shelter.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22And given that we haven't built one, it's an absolute touch.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25So I need to go and let the girls know because they are stood in
0:27:25 > 0:27:27the freaking dark, wondering if I'd been eaten by
0:27:27 > 0:27:29a Norwegian cannibal family or something.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Right, good news. Really good news.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37It's not a hotel, it's more...
0:27:37 > 0:27:39like a facility for travellers.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41No flushing toilets, nothing like that, I'm afraid.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43But they have a thing called...
0:27:43 > 0:27:44It's like a fire hut,
0:27:44 > 0:27:47where you can put logs in and it's like a wooden tipi
0:27:47 > 0:27:49and you can sit around and get warm and it's at least a shelter.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51- A tipi is good enough for me.- Eh?
0:27:51 > 0:27:54- Don't slip, Rosie.- No, I know.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57I'm being really careful. I don't want to fall over.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Oh, my God.
0:28:00 > 0:28:01After you, ladies.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03- Thank you, Russell.- Oh, my...
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- Rosie!- Is it warm? Is it warm?
0:28:05 > 0:28:07It's got electricity. I bloody knew it!
0:28:07 > 0:28:10- I was going to say! - Guys, we can build a fire.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11This is amazing.
0:28:11 > 0:28:12Our arses are saved.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15We've survived. We've done it with intuition, the internet,
0:28:15 > 0:28:17as we challenged ourselves to do.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20We used a map, and those are grapes.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22I don't actually have to spear shit with a stick and cook it.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25This is amazing. I can't believe this is the result.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28I mean, we tried to sleep in an orange bag
0:28:28 > 0:28:30on a dead carcass on the snow.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33And now we're in a wooden tipi and there's logs.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37We can get a fire going. Look, cooking implements.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Ah, someone's given us a link to edible berries.
0:28:47 > 0:28:51- That's handy.- That's good. - Cloud berries.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54People are sending us pictures of blueberry muffins.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Ha-ha!
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Someone saying "Yes, you can eat them.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01"It's BERRY unlikely you'll get sick from them".
0:29:01 > 0:29:03Is it that one? It's that one.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Yes, it is that one!
0:29:05 > 0:29:07I genuinely just used Twitter to...
0:29:07 > 0:29:10- Let's have a look. - It's that, isn't it?
0:29:10 > 0:29:12What's it called?
0:29:12 > 0:29:14- A lingonberry.- Lingonberry.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Look. Like a berry-type leaf.
0:29:17 > 0:29:19- That's the one.- Yeah?- 100%.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22And they grow in this area. We've identified them.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Checked the leaf.
0:29:24 > 0:29:25We can eat them.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27What a freaking result.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31- Perfect.- Nice one, internet. Quite dramatic on the fingers.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33- I really like them.- You like them?
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Yeah, I really like them. They taste just like my smoothies.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38- Do you want one?- They are calorie dense, aren't they?
0:29:38 > 0:29:41- It's fruit.- They smell really nice. - They are actually really fresh.
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Get a picture of you eating wild berries.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Oh, my God. Do you know what it tastes just like?
0:29:46 > 0:29:47My mum's pavlova.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50- Seriously?- This could be your last picture...
0:29:50 > 0:29:52just before you keel over.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54Your tongue's gone, like, purple from them.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56- Has it?- Yeah. - They're absolutely gorgeous.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00- Rosie, do you want some more? - I really... I really like them.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03- Guys, we've actually learnt how to live off the land.- That's great.
0:30:03 > 0:30:08I wouldn't say live, as I'm completely starving, but, yeah.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Do you think we'll get to see the Northern Lights, realistically?
0:30:10 > 0:30:14Honestly, I don't know. We know where the best place is to see them,
0:30:14 > 0:30:16but I honestly don't think we'll get there.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18- Not there yet.- I'm not telling Russell that, but basically
0:30:18 > 0:30:21I'm worried that tomorrow, if we're not nearly there,
0:30:21 > 0:30:24I don't know what to do because I'm going to feel really upset.
0:30:24 > 0:30:28- Like, I don't want the journey to be wasted.- Are you going to give up?
0:30:53 > 0:30:55The place last night,
0:30:55 > 0:30:58they provide husky trip experience...
0:30:58 > 0:31:00Sorry, I can't speak. I'm exhausted.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02And we're not getting anywhere on foot
0:31:02 > 0:31:04we haven't even got to the Sami village.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05We're not going to see the Northern Lights,
0:31:05 > 0:31:08we're not going to find the viewing point. It's desperate times,
0:31:08 > 0:31:10so we're going to ride a dog sled with no skills,
0:31:10 > 0:31:13nothing except the internet. We don't speak Norwegian.
0:31:13 > 0:31:14The phone's frozen, I can't use it.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16But we're going to have a bash anyway.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18We're going to get to the Sami village, we're going to see
0:31:18 > 0:31:21the Northern Lights and we're going to finish this mission,
0:31:21 > 0:31:23even if it kills me. That's normally a figure of speech.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26This time, it could literally happen. Even the phone's died.
0:31:29 > 0:31:30Please work.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33It's been fun.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36We've pressed the emergency help button a few times.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38I've enjoyed it. But...
0:31:38 > 0:31:40- I had some Brazil nuts. - I know you did.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42But I think we should just do this for real, yes?
0:31:42 > 0:31:45It's our last push before we get there.
0:31:45 > 0:31:46Let's really get on the dog cart.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48Let's really try and find food today.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Let's really get to the Northern Lights.
0:31:50 > 0:31:51Let's finish this. Absolutely smasher.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53Let's do it, guys, yeah?
0:31:53 > 0:31:55There's nothing more real than my excitement
0:31:55 > 0:31:56mixed with fear and hunger.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Yeah. It's weird because even though it is snowy mountains
0:31:59 > 0:32:00it feels a little less colder up here.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Do you think we've just got used to -10 or something?
0:32:03 > 0:32:05I don't think I could ever get used to it, to be honest.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07We're about to try and do dog sledding for the first time,
0:32:07 > 0:32:09so if anyone knows anything about dog commands.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Do they speak Norwegian?
0:32:11 > 0:32:13How do they poo when they're running? It would be just my luck
0:32:13 > 0:32:17to finish the day with a poo being kicked in my face.
0:32:17 > 0:32:20More to report tomorrow. If not, I'll just film my skeleton
0:32:20 > 0:32:23and post it cos could you imagine the amount of views that would get?
0:32:23 > 0:32:25A skeleton can't self film.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28- It doesn't work.- Hello.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31- Hey.- Hey.- We need to get to the Sami village.
0:32:31 > 0:32:32We've been walking by foot.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35- We're tired. - HE SPEAKS NORWEGIAN
0:32:35 > 0:32:36What?
0:32:36 > 0:32:40HE SPEAKS NORWEGIAN
0:32:40 > 0:32:41Yeah.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43- That's me.- Yeah.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45HE SPEAKS NORWEGIAN
0:32:45 > 0:32:47- That's the brakes?- Yeah.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Ah, right, gee.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53- Haw.- So gee is right?
0:32:53 > 0:32:55Gee, haw.
0:32:55 > 0:32:56Gee, haw.
0:32:56 > 0:32:57Gee, haw.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59How do you say stop?
0:32:59 > 0:33:01There's no stop. Stop is here.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03- OK.- We can only go sideways.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Oh, I can smell dog poo. I've missed that smell from home.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09- Oh, my God!- That dog is weeing real bad.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11Hello.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13You want me to hold it? OK. OK.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16I've got him. I've got him. Hello. Don't run away.
0:33:16 > 0:33:17Don't run away. I've got you.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19- I've got you.- Rosie, look at how excited they are.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21- He's trying to get away! - Stay, stay, stay!
0:33:21 > 0:33:24Excuse me, what's this one's name?
0:33:35 > 0:33:36Will you stop now?
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Will you stop now? Come on.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40No, Rosie, you are rewarding bad beh...
0:33:43 > 0:33:46She can't even hold one. How are we going to control eight?
0:33:46 > 0:33:49Guys! Guys, I've lost one.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51How are we going to get there with seven dogs?
0:33:51 > 0:33:53We're losing light. Come on, kids.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55Let's roll. Woo!
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Oh, my God.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02What the hell are we about to do?
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Let's go. Let's go to the Sami village.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12- Do we need to lean? - Gee, gee, gee, gee!
0:34:12 > 0:34:19THEY SHOUT: Gee!
0:34:19 > 0:34:22Not too much, Rosie. Oh, my God.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24So much fun.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Oh, my God. This is amazing.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29- Look, no hands. - No hands.- Oh, the view!
0:34:29 > 0:34:31Oh, this is so beautiful.
0:34:31 > 0:34:35- Oh, my God.- This is going to get us to the Sami village so much quicker.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44This is the most manly thing I've ever done, seriously.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49PHONE: In 200 metres, turn right.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Pooing and running. He's pooing and running!
0:34:51 > 0:34:53- Where?- Oh, yeah.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55- There's a poo!- There's the log.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58- Oh!- Oh, my God!
0:34:58 > 0:35:01Ah, the brake's got it. It's under the brake. It's under the brake.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04Oh, my God. Now we've stopped, he's not pooing.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07- Can I have a go on the back? - Yeah, yeah.- Will it work?
0:35:07 > 0:35:10- Rosie, would you mind two secs if I went?- Do it.- OK!
0:35:11 > 0:35:14- OK.- Whoa!
0:35:14 > 0:35:17- Agh!- Rosie?
0:35:18 > 0:35:21That's why I'm driving.
0:35:23 > 0:35:27- Are you on it, Russell? - I'm on it.- Look, look, look.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30There's a little peak that looks like Everest. Oh!
0:35:31 > 0:35:33It's here on the map. That must be it.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35That's it there! Sami village just over the hill.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37- Oh, my God.- Did you see it?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39We are there, guys. We have made it.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41- Oh, my God.- We have sledged our way to safety.
0:35:41 > 0:35:48- Yes! Well done, Russ.- OK. - Well done, Russell.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50That's it. I sent a tweet asking about Sami people,
0:35:50 > 0:35:53so we can get a bit of cultural information when we get there,
0:35:53 > 0:35:56- so we're not complete morons. - OK. Well done, guys.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58High-five all round! Thank you.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02Thank you. You're good. You're good.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21- Let's go to Sami town.- Go on.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23# Ooh, doo, dah Sami time! #
0:36:26 > 0:36:30- That was a bad one.- Are you OK? - Oh, wow! Oh!
0:36:30 > 0:36:32Oh, no. The shame!
0:36:42 > 0:36:45We're here, the Sami village.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48It's not... I wouldn't call it a village.
0:36:48 > 0:36:51What is this place? What do you think?
0:36:51 > 0:36:54I'm just, like, freaked out and scared.
0:36:54 > 0:36:55Is that a dead reindeer?
0:36:55 > 0:36:57- What's that?- Oh, I'm really scared.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01This place is not what I was anticipating at all.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04- I don't know about you. - There's a gun!
0:37:04 > 0:37:07It's literally the opposite of a welcome mat.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10These are trails of blood. Hello?
0:37:10 > 0:37:12- Agh!- Where? What? What? What? What are you doing?
0:37:12 > 0:37:15I thought I fucking tripped in a fucking net.
0:37:15 > 0:37:17- Is this rope?- Don't...
0:37:17 > 0:37:19- Why?!- It's blood!- Can you stop making me jump
0:37:19 > 0:37:22- when I'm doing something? - Yeah, but...
0:37:22 > 0:37:23Russell, don't touch blood!
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I thought it was a finger or something.
0:37:25 > 0:37:29- That's not... That's quite recent. - Yeah, it's fresh.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32Why are we in an actual horror movie? I am scared of the dark.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34This is scary. There's blood.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- Are you all right?- No, I'm not. I don't like it.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39- Hang on a second. - What the fuck's going on?
0:37:39 > 0:37:42If it's for wood, why is there blood on it? What's wrong?
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Are you cold or are you just freaking out?
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Is it cos you've got a dark phobia?
0:37:50 > 0:37:53Give her a hug, man. Give her a hug.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55I thought you were messing around.
0:37:55 > 0:37:56I thought you were messing around.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59Are you genuinely, freaked out about guns?
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Just listen, listen, listen, listen.
0:38:01 > 0:38:05Listen. Just... Just take a breath.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07It's going to be fine. OK?
0:38:07 > 0:38:08Look, it's fine.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10OK?
0:38:10 > 0:38:11I'm genuinely filling my pants.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15I want to find out who the Sami are. I'm hitting up the internet.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21- 'As with cattle, this castration creates...'- Oh, my God.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24'which produce more tender cut of meat.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26'Following an old tradition,
0:38:26 > 0:38:29'this operation would be performed by the women.'
0:38:32 > 0:38:33She is not...
0:38:35 > 0:38:36That isn't real.
0:38:36 > 0:38:40- Guys?- Yeah.- I'm actually going to show you that one.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42What?
0:38:42 > 0:38:44They bite the bollocks off the reindeer manually.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47- That's really horrible. - I don't really agree with that.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50- Neither do I.- I'm guessing these are people we don't want to offend
0:38:50 > 0:38:52cos I want to leave here with my balls attached my body.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56- Shall we go and try and meet them? - Yeah, OK.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58I'm not going in the sword house.
0:38:58 > 0:38:59I can't believe that.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01That's absolutely... That's horrible.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05- Oh, my God.- What the effing hell is that?- What is it?
0:39:05 > 0:39:07It's got to be... Rose, don't fucking touch it!
0:39:07 > 0:39:10It could be a tiny Russian under there.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12No, what is that, seriously?
0:39:14 > 0:39:16It looks like the old, like, testes sacks.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19- Oh, my God.- I think it is. - Don't touch that.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22There is a solid ball in there, and I'm not even joking.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26I'm in the dark with a fucking creaking door and balls.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28It's every lesbian's dream.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36Can we go? Can we go?
0:39:37 > 0:39:39Hello?
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Hello, we're from England.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Here goes nothing, guys.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Rosie, you actually standing back?
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Hello.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06THEY SPEAK SAMI
0:40:08 > 0:40:09Oh, Russell. Russell.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11- Russell?- Russell.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12HE SPEAKS SAMI
0:40:12 > 0:40:15- Rosie.- Rosie.- Rosie?
0:40:16 > 0:40:18- Hello.- Hallo.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20HE SPEAKS SAMI
0:40:20 > 0:40:21I'm Rose. Nice to meet you.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23HE SPEAKS SAMI
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Yes, correct.
0:40:27 > 0:40:29- It's lovely in here, so cosy. - Really warm.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Oh, we're going to try some traditional stuff on?
0:40:34 > 0:40:35Your saucepan's on fire.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Oh, wow! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45I look like, er... Do you know who Snoop Dogg is?
0:40:45 > 0:40:46Snoop Dogg?
0:40:46 > 0:40:49# I'd be doing drive-by in my fur jacket. #
0:40:49 > 0:40:51HE SPEAKS SAMI
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Where did my arms go?
0:40:53 > 0:40:56Oh, OK. OK.
0:40:56 > 0:40:58# We'll take you down to the maypole
0:40:58 > 0:41:01# We'll find you a husband in your virgin dress. #
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Thank you. I'll hold on to my hat.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05It's so funny, Rose.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08You always turn into Women's Institute when you're a bit awkward.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11That's fine, tiddlypop. Tickety boo, it's all tickety boo.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13We look great. We look the part now.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15Shall I try the phrase book? Hold on.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21That's "thank you."
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Ah, slightly different.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34See? Have a go.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36HE SPEAKS SAMI
0:41:36 > 0:41:37No, no. You don't like? OK.
0:41:40 > 0:41:42It's not a telephone, it's for...
0:41:44 > 0:41:46We are recording our travels.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52I'm not getting very far with the app.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00- That's its head. - Its tongue is hanging out.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03It's got teeth in it.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17In goes the jaw.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21It's sort of like a sushi.
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Oh!
0:42:28 > 0:42:30The brain is in.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Rose, how are you doing?
0:42:32 > 0:42:35- Yeah, fine.- He doesn't mind if we don't eat it?
0:42:35 > 0:42:37No, no. He says he'll make it anyway.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39- He understands. - Yeah, he understands.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Yes. Ah, good.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45We've got lots of flavour. I would curry that.
0:42:45 > 0:42:47Russell, are you actually going to eat it?
0:42:47 > 0:42:49- Damn right.- Are you really?
0:42:49 > 0:42:51I'm starving. I'm definitely going to eat this.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54- I'm going to get stuck in. Rose? - I might try it.- Yeah, course.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56You know, he's offered us his home and his food.
0:42:56 > 0:42:58I can't be like...
0:42:58 > 0:43:01You know, I can't just run off and not try it.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03Don't look at me with judging eyes.
0:43:03 > 0:43:06- Which is...?- The tongue? Thank you very much.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10I will. Thank you. Thank you.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15That tastes like...
0:43:16 > 0:43:18- ..liver.- I thought...
0:43:18 > 0:43:21Do you know what? It looks like the same kind of consistency as liver.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23Except...nicer.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Oh, I can feel the teeth. Oh, are you supposed to pick it out?
0:43:27 > 0:43:29- This is bone marrow?- Oh, wow.
0:43:33 > 0:43:34What's that?
0:43:34 > 0:43:36- The eye socket?- The eye?
0:43:36 > 0:43:38Thank you.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41- I can feel the teeth. - I'm eating eye meat.
0:43:41 > 0:43:43Mm. You know what it tastes like?
0:43:43 > 0:43:46You know when you have a pork chop and you eat the fat?
0:43:46 > 0:43:47That's what it tastes like.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50Rosie, ve-gan.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53- Vega?- Vegan.- Vegan.
0:43:53 > 0:43:54Only Rosie, though. Only Rosie.
0:43:56 > 0:43:58A blood pancake, he said?
0:43:58 > 0:44:01No, thank you. But thanks for the offer.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04I would love a blood pancake. Oh, cool.
0:44:04 > 0:44:10We saw a video on the internet of the testicles being removed
0:44:10 > 0:44:15from a reindeer by a Sami woman, using her mouth.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Does that still happen?
0:44:21 > 0:44:23With the mouth?
0:44:24 > 0:44:26Oh, my God. My balls are actually hurting.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28My balls are hurting, listening to it.
0:44:31 > 0:44:34- Thank you.- Do you want to smell it? It just smells like pancakes.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36No, I don't want... I don't want to smell it.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40Hold on. That is delicious. I'm not even joking.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44It tastes like really good pancake.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47Thank you. I feel like I could wrestle reindeer now.
0:44:49 > 0:44:50Do you know what?
0:44:50 > 0:44:54I might just go and bite through a pair of bollocks after this.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- Yes!- I just high-fived.- Oh, my God. - Fist bump!- Fist bump!
0:45:03 > 0:45:04Thank you so much.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07You have been a wonderful host and the food has been delicious.
0:45:07 > 0:45:08Thank you.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20- Amazing.- Oh, my God. He's so nice!
0:45:28 > 0:45:32- Have you got any more Brazil nuts? - No, I've got none. (I've got loads.)
0:45:32 > 0:45:34- Bye-bye!- Bye-bye!
0:45:47 > 0:45:49Look at the lights!
0:45:49 > 0:45:51Oh, my God. I've never seen them...
0:45:51 > 0:45:53Put your lights down a minute.
0:45:55 > 0:45:57- Whoa!- Oh, my God.
0:45:57 > 0:46:01It's like a weird rainbow. It's like a night-time rainbow.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04- That is unbelievable. - Look, it's moving.- Wow.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07- They're getting stronger. - Oh, my God. That's so pretty.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12If, heaven forbid, I lose my mind at the end of life's journey
0:46:12 > 0:46:15and I'm sat in a rocking chair in a nursing home,
0:46:15 > 0:46:17there is a few things I'd like to recall.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19One is a hot tub party I had in Vegas once.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21And the other is looking up at the aurora borealis,
0:46:21 > 0:46:24- which has blown my mind. - Look at this one.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27Oh, my God. Where did that come from?
0:46:27 > 0:46:30It feels like I'm in space, like, look at it.
0:46:30 > 0:46:34It looks crazy. It looks like we are, like, not on Earth right now.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36It's been unbelievable.
0:46:36 > 0:46:39You know, you see pictures of these things on the internet
0:46:39 > 0:46:42and in magazines and you think, you know,
0:46:42 > 0:46:44"I've seen it. I've seen it all before."
0:46:44 > 0:46:46You need to be here to witness this.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48- True, yeah.- It's spectacular.
0:46:48 > 0:46:51And, honestly, I would do it all again.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53Well, maybe not all of it.
0:46:53 > 0:46:55Try and get a selfie.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57Even if it doesn't come out, we'll know it's there, yeah?
0:46:57 > 0:46:59- Yeah.- Let's just capture the moment.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01- Let's try. It might work. - Try it, try it.- Ready?
0:47:03 > 0:47:06Yeah, the phone is a bit of a hindrance when you are trying to
0:47:06 > 0:47:09get it out when you are sledding and slipping off and everything.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12But the social benefit, it's amazing connecting with people back home.
0:47:12 > 0:47:13It warms your soul, even when it's freezing.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15So, on the whole, the phone was good.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18And, in fact, we would have died without it. Dead in the snow, 100%.
0:47:18 > 0:47:20I've had enough of survival.
0:47:20 > 0:47:21How about we find a hotel?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23And I'm talking luxury here.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26I'm talking hot water, a bed and a private place to poo.