0:00:02 > 0:00:05For centuries, explorers have battled with Mother Nature.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Now, pampered comedian Russell Kane...
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- It's freezing! - ..wants to join their ranks...
0:00:11 > 0:00:15- I miss my mum. - ..by tackling extreme survival.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17- Agh!- With just...
0:00:17 > 0:00:19- This.- ..a mobile phone?
0:00:19 > 0:00:22How to find water in the desert.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26I use my phone for everything. Turn the choke all the way down.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Got billions of users around the world.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30The web has all the answers.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32It's here on the map. That's it there.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35Joined by the internet's brightest stars...
0:00:35 > 0:00:36I'm the son of a Jedi!
0:00:36 > 0:00:38..and their legions of followers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Does it get difficult?
0:00:40 > 0:00:41I don't think the production team
0:00:41 > 0:00:44are always going to be taking it that easy on us.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Together, they'll face the worst that nature can throw at them.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Russell!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I just want to know that if we get bitten by something
0:00:52 > 0:00:53we've got the antidote.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- Oh, God.- Yeah, the team will ensure that we are safe
0:00:56 > 0:00:58and that we always have internet reception.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00They're accompanied by a barely helpful crew...
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Please. Come on, guys.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04..who will be throwing in the odd curveball.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06The doors don't close.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07They'll use their signal...
0:01:07 > 0:01:09We've got a bag of poop.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10..for survival.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Light the bag. Who said that?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Yes! Oh-ho!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15I love you, internet.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16This time...
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Whoa!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20..it's internet versus jungle...
0:01:21 > 0:01:24..as Russell teams up with online singing sensation...
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Literally every tree looks the same.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27..Conor Maynard...
0:01:27 > 0:01:31I am going to a jungle! Whoo!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33- ..to navigate...- This way.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35..the treacherous rainforests.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Christ, this is horrible! - ..of Costa Rica.
0:01:37 > 0:01:38I didn't sign up for this.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41..and get back to their former lives.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43THEY LAUGH
0:01:43 > 0:01:45There's actually no way.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I just need to get out of this place now.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Godspeed, stupid man.
0:02:09 > 0:02:11I can't believe we jumped in the back of a truck with a stranger.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- And he doesn't speak a word of English.- I know. Right...
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Let's fire up the map, see where we are.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24All I know is we've got to go to this house up the road.
0:02:24 > 0:02:27So I'm hoping there'll be someone there to give us a mission.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30That's what normally happens. It could be frickin' anything.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Is that the house?
0:02:35 > 0:02:36That's got to be it.
0:02:46 > 0:02:48After you, Bro.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51It looks all right, quite quaint.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Is there a rave going on at the back or something?
0:02:54 > 0:02:55- Can you hear that?- Definitely drums.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- There's two of them.- Native Indian.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- Hello.- Buenos dias.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Oh, yeah, you can do this.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Hey. Hello.
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Hello.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07THEY EXCHANGE GREETINGS
0:03:12 > 0:03:16- Come in. Come in to my scapula.- There we go.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19We'll go round.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Habla ingles?
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Que habla?
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Maleku.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Maleku. Uno momento.- Have you got a Maleku translator on that?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I don't know, mate. I've got 7-in-1. I'm guessing Maleku's not on there.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48No. Habla espanol?
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Si.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54Un mision para usted?
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Smile.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Hold on. I think he's saying we'll become Maleku.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Do you want a filter on? I took a picture of you.
0:04:12 > 0:04:13We will become...
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Right, rio means river. # Rio Grande... # Rio.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42- No, no, no, no.- No?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- I've had an idea.- Right.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47That we should, to say thanks,
0:04:47 > 0:04:51see if they want to stay at our hotel for a few days.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- Yes. Rio Celeste.- Rio Celeste. - You know it? Right.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09There we are. We'll meet you there. There's a hot tub.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Girls for a massage.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20He's got something else for us.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Oh, a medicinal plant.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Masticar. Masticate.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34What does it do?
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Thank you. Yeah, that looks delicious.- Yeah.
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Shall we do a selfie? Look how hopeful we look at the moment.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47I want to remember this.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- Hapi-kapi.- Hapi-kapi.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53I'll take one as well.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58- Nice one.- Smashed it.- Right.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- See you later, guys. - Adios. Kapi-kapi.- Kapi-kapi. Whoo!
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Are we ready?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06I need to change my clothes.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I need to dump some stuff.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10I've got too much stuff.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33You move from one spot to the other and the signal goes in and out,
0:06:33 > 0:06:35so it's going to be even scarier than usual.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38I've got nothing!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42This could be the toughest test yet of the smartphone,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45and I guess we'll be down to using whatever tools we have on it.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47So I can't tweet the word "help".
0:06:47 > 0:06:48It's saying I'm connected.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Oh, the word "help" has gone out.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54It was when I held it like that - a tiny bit of signal.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02OK, so I have managed to download a few fact sheets.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04I've got one on surviving in the jungle.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Right.- How to prepare for a trip in the jungle.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10- We'll need that.- How to eat insects. - You smell great, by the way.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Thank you. You won't be saying that in two days.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- Now I can.- Dangerous animals.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Spiders, jaguars are in there.
0:07:19 > 0:07:23- Perfect.- Lighting fires in damp conditions.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25We've got all of those queued up, downloaded, stored,
0:07:25 > 0:07:28so even if this has no signal at all, we're OK,
0:07:28 > 0:07:30we still use the smartphone.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Whoo!- Yeah!
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Phones are loaded up with loads of juicy stuff.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39We've got the kit on.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42We need to get in there and start surviving like Maleki.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Maleku.- Maleki.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51This is a bit more like what I was dreading the jungle might be like.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53- Yeah.- It's absolutely soaking wet.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I feel like every twig is a potential snake.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57But we've got to survive out here, man.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59We need to get down to that river,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01wind our way slowly back through the worst of it,
0:08:01 > 0:08:04end up back at the hotel, high five, exchange words with the Maleku.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- Mission complete.- Sick.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Everything is alive here.
0:08:12 > 0:08:13There's a real ominous feeling
0:08:13 > 0:08:16that I'm definitely going to be bitten soon.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Be careful, man. We're in, like, snake city.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Just anything could be a snake, in my mind.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Oh! Jesus!
0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Agh!- It's alive.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Conor is so wet he's using his climbing helmet as an umbrella.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I just feel really wet and miserable and I hate it.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- There you go. - British, in other words.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Agh! There's more bugs than Stalin...
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Russia. Agh!
0:08:51 > 0:08:52What are they?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Mozzies, of course! What d'you think they are?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01I've definitely got something on my phone.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Oh, the frequency app?
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's apparently, like, random frequencies.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07These frequencies here -
0:09:07 > 0:09:1012 kilohertz, 14 kilohertz, 16 kilohertz and 20 kilohertz.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12Anti-mosquito frequencies.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Good. I've got a bite under my eye.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Oh, it's anti-human.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Put that near your ear then. - Yeah, it hurts.
0:09:19 > 0:09:2120? It's the highest you can go.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Try it. It won't work on the old mosquitoes.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26- No.- I can hear it. I'm going to suck blood anyway.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28I don't think that mosquito thing worked
0:09:28 > 0:09:30because, as you were on 20 kilohertz,
0:09:30 > 0:09:32one of them actually went...
0:09:32 > 0:09:35He's like a Cockney one. "Do you think that stops me coming in?
0:09:35 > 0:09:36"I'll fight you even more, mate."
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- It's drawing it in. - It's drawing the bugs in.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42The hertz are definitely drawing the bugs in.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Was that actually a mosquito?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46The mosquito's like a really small, tiny fly.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- What did you think it was? - I thought they were like... This is so embarrassing.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51I've always believed...
0:09:51 > 0:09:54I thought they were the same shape and size as, like, a dragonfly.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57- What?- I thought they were big. - Do you know what?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59I thought everything here was trying to kill us.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Some stuff wants to move in.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Do you know what a botfly is? - Never heard of it.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Check this. Human botflies are mainly found
0:10:05 > 0:10:06in Central and South America.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Hello - that's where we are. The young female botfly lays eggs.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12They're going to go for you first - you get all the female attention.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- That's true.- The larvae penetrate through the skin
0:10:15 > 0:10:18and live in the subdermal zones of the skin for more than 60 days.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21The patients feel the movement of the larvae beneath the skin.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Once the larvae develops and gets complete, it leaves out of the body.
0:10:25 > 0:10:26What?
0:10:29 > 0:10:30That looks like a pig snout.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33How much does that look like a pig...?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Botfly larvae secreting waste.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- No way!- So they seal the wound
0:10:37 > 0:10:39and, when you open it, they come out for air.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Agh!
0:10:40 > 0:10:42MAN SCREAMS ON PHONE
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46- That is rank. - OK. I don't feel safe here any more.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Dude, let's get out of here. I am seriously creeped out.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51I was hungry. Now I'm not.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Careful - vines. Loads of trippy vines.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03It's a bit full-on here. Be careful.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Conor, I really want to see a parrot while I'm here.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12So I'm trying to play the call to see if we can attract them.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14This is the mating call - I'm playing it near your head.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17I don't want a parrot to mate with my head.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19This is mental. That's the call in flight
0:11:19 > 0:11:21and this is the call when they're sat down.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27That's a proper traditional parrot noise.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31I'd love to see a parrot.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35The only one I know how to do is a pigeon.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38- CONOR COOS - I don't know how many pigeons are in the jungle.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40That would be just be our luck to see a pigeon.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Imagine if we saw a pigeon - or a seagull.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Where are we?
0:11:52 > 0:11:55- Literally every tree looks the same. - That's my fault for farting around.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- Are we going in circles?- I'm not sure which way is east and west.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- Hold on.- I've definitely seen that tree before.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04- One second, I have answers. - Wait, no, that's different.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I don't need a signal to confirm we are definitely lost, so...
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Phone's still working, in a way.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13It's this way, northwards. Sorry, dude. My fault, my fault, my fault.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15We've been going south-east the entire time?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Not for long - only since I've been playing with that bird app,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20to be honest!
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Get the maps app, Conor, check we're heading in the right direction.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30By my calculations on this phone, the river is over there.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32This way.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Oh, my God!- What the...?
0:12:34 > 0:12:35Holy shit, it's massive.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39It's massive. This is a sheer drop.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41This looks genuinely terrifying.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43We have to get down to the river.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Not sure I can even do this.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Didn't you cue up, just in case, something about...?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- I had a video.- Right, wicked.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53'You want to put your feet...'
0:12:53 > 0:12:55This is what not to do.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57- 'Agh!- Yeah, you need to move your feet.'
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Oh, my God.- It's meant to be funny, but it's just scary.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03That's what my legs did when I injured them.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04'Stop laughing!'
0:13:04 > 0:13:06"Stop laughing, you could die."
0:13:06 > 0:13:07'This isn't funny.'
0:13:07 > 0:13:09SHE SCREAMS
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Oh, my God.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Oh, my God, oh, my God!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15She's falling down a cliff...
0:13:15 > 0:13:18This is like that scene in the Lion King, when Mufasa just falls.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19This is no help at all. Oh!
0:13:19 > 0:13:21- She's gone!- Turn it off!
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Did you get anything else?- No.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Oh, great(!)
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Oh, my God, look at this drop.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Are you ready for this?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Yeah, man, just like... You know, it's just one of those things.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Just be careful. Oh, my God, that is a long way down.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Oh, God. That is a rushing waterfall of doom.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Wait till you look over the edge.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- I'm not looking over the edge. - It's not like it's even straight.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45It's literally like that video we watched.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- Oh, no!- The fail video. We could go under a rock...
0:13:47 > 0:13:49What are we doing?!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52I mean, the smartphone has not helped us at all.
0:13:52 > 0:13:53It's put fear in me.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57Every part of my instinct is not to throw myself off a cliff.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Conor, please don't be too good at it.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Oh, my God.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11There might be some falling debris, and it's not going to be rock.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13You look great from down here, though.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17Huh...! Jesus...! Nearly broke my fricking wrist already.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19This is not what I signed up for.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- This is the difficult bit. - I didn't sign up for this.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Agh... Oh, my God.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28This is such a crap hobby, why would anyone do it?
0:14:28 > 0:14:32Oh, shit! Oh, my God, there's still loads to go.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Mate, the next bit is the hardest bit so far.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37What do you mean? It's all been the hardest bit so far.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Conor, stop being so good at it!
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Oh, shitting shit.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- Go on, Russell.- I'm trying.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Oh, God. Oh, crap.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Crapitty-crap-crap. Whoo!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57You nailed it.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00That was horrible. Absolutely horrible.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I fell. Three times, I fell.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Whereas I'm here, like, "Let's do that again!"
0:15:04 > 0:15:06My God, look how blue the river is!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09- It's amazing. It looks so good. - It looks like Powerade.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I'm going to do a quick video diary.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Myself and Conor, we've made it.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17We abseiled down a very steep ledge.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18We're stood on the rock now,
0:15:18 > 0:15:21with our last little patch of light coming down on us.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22I'm just hoping we can find a solution
0:15:22 > 0:15:25to food and accommodation before the sun sets completely,
0:15:25 > 0:15:27because I do not want to be walking around here in the dark.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- It is very dangerous.- Yeah.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Right, we're off.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32Let's go.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44- Are you tired? I am so tired.- Do you want to do some of that leaf stuff?
0:15:44 > 0:15:45Do some of that leaf stuff?
0:15:45 > 0:15:49- Don't you remember? - Oh, the stuff the Maleku gave us?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52I thought you meant you had... Go on, then.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55This - remember?
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Ready?
0:16:02 > 0:16:03Love techno.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Do you really...? Something about techno.
0:16:08 > 0:16:12THEY GIGGLE
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- That's the most bitter thing I've ever tasted in my life.- Mm...mm...
0:16:16 > 0:16:18They're horrible!
0:16:19 > 0:16:21HE GAGS
0:16:21 > 0:16:23It's getting worse.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Aghhh!
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Agh! That is literally what I imagine shit tastes like.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- That's horrible.- Let's make a move.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Those Malekus are bad arses.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36They chew that...for fun.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I wonder what they're doing right now?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41They're in a hotel room with the widescreen on.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44- Kapi-kapi.- Kapi-kapi.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Dude, I'm hungry. I'll try anything at the moment.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I'm actually starving. Literally, the next thing is food, right?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07That's the next thing. Did you download something?
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- Yeah.- Download Jungle Fodder, and Bush Tucker and all of that.
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Perfect.
0:17:12 > 0:17:18'So I wanted to show you a quick clip on how to essentially eat bugs.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20'These grasshoppers are a complete food, guys.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23'I mean, you can literally survive on these things...'
0:17:23 > 0:17:25We've got to catch some grasshoppers first.
0:17:25 > 0:17:26'Take the grasshoppers.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29'Remember to remove the legs and the wings, especially...'
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Legs and wings. Legs and wings have to come off.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Definitely, especially the back legs.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36'Got my grasshoppers, they're ready to cook.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'I'm going to just go ahead and set them over the flame.'
0:17:39 > 0:17:42'Anything that we cook out here in a survival situation
0:17:42 > 0:17:45'needs to be well cooked, or you can get tapeworms,
0:17:45 > 0:17:47'you can get all kinds of things.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51'This is a cicada, and then I've got a normal grasshopper right here.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52'And...
0:17:52 > 0:17:56'They just have just kind of a normal flavour.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58'Well, I say normal...'
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Well, I keep moaning that I want protein.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04You know what I'm thinking? There's billions of insects, protein source,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06hopping around all over the place.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09It could be the future of the human race, to eat these things.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Even if we could just catch a grasshopper, just one...
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- We'll share it. - Did that just move, there?
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Oh, yeah. It just jumped - there it is, look.
0:18:19 > 0:18:23- Grab it, dude.- We have a very, very faint signal here.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26I'm going to quickly search - "Are grasshoppers attracted to light?"
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Because our head torches might be what's attracting them.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30It's a grasshopper party up there!
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Right, so, apparently, most insects are attracted to light,
0:18:33 > 0:18:36including grasshoppers, so I'm just going to get the torch on this.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Want the T-shirt to grab them all afterwards?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Well, I thought, because it's a white T-shirt...
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Oh, my God, there's one on there. - What's that?
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Yeah, this is working. The food is jumping towards us.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48This is the easiest animal trapping, just shining a light at a T-shirt.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52- Oh, a grasshopper! Yes!- Oh, my God, look at the size of that thing!
0:18:52 > 0:18:56We've got one massive one, fold it over in the trap cloth.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- There's one.- There's another one. There's a grasshopper.- Come on.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03There's a big one. Is the big one still in there?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05I don't know! I don't want to touch anything.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I've got an idea. How about we put them
0:19:08 > 0:19:10- in the waterproof case from the phones?- OK.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Just be careful, dude.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Not everything is what it seems.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17It's still in there, big bastard's in there.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19- No, no, dude, you're going to lose him!- Oh, oh!
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Oh, we lost it.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27That's the one we lost, that's literally the one we lost.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Who's going to grab it?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31I don't know if I've got the balls to do this.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34- Rock, paper, scissors. - One, two, three...
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Rock, paper, scissors.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38- Ahh!- Rock, paper, scissors.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40- Ahh!- You're cheating.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42I'm not cheating!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44THEY LAUGH
0:19:46 > 0:19:48That's the way to do it - the Leaf System 5000.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- Go, go, go!- Yes! Boom!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Oh, that is one ugly dinner.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- Is that its face? - And it's still happy.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Oh, my God, Conor, there's something massive on your back!
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Get the bag open.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Please, don't...
0:20:03 > 0:20:05I'm not joking, I'm not joking.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Get in. Get in, you...!
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Agh!
0:20:08 > 0:20:12THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Punched me in the face! It punched me in the fucking face!
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Oh, my God, what is that?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- What is that?- What is that? - That's a walking leaf.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Oh, what a pair of pussies.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Please, let me grow just one testicle, just one.
0:20:30 > 0:20:31Don't you understand - I hate this shit,
0:20:31 > 0:20:33that's why they gave me the job.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Are we genuinely going to eat the giant cockroach?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37How clever is it, the wily little bastard?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Right. I have it in here.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42For God's sake... Wait, wait, wait.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Open it, open it!
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- Quick!- I'm trying, I'm genuinely trying.- Go, go, go, go!
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Is it in?- Yes.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52All right, that's enough. We've got a starter, main course,
0:20:52 > 0:20:54and the cockroach for dessert.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Oh, my God, what is that ant?
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- Shit, what is that?- Jesus Christ. Look at the size of that.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00That is like a giant ant.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Google it.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06It's a bullet ant, I've identified it from Google.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09Look. "Paraponera clavata is a species of ant,
0:21:09 > 0:21:11"commonly known as the bullet ant."
0:21:11 > 0:21:13There he is. He's there, he's there.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14There, right under my light.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Oh, yeah. That's him.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- Right, listen...- Why's he trying to steal our grasshoppers?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23"Named on account of its powerful and potent sting due to its venom.
0:21:23 > 0:21:27"It inhabits humid low land..." Hello! "..in South America.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28They're really dangerous.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Powerful and potent poison.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32That is it, look. That's him.
0:21:32 > 0:21:37"It rates above tarantulas, wasps, and equals being shot."
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- What about a shark? - Dude, it equals being shot.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43And we're having mild banter over it with a torch.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Oh, my God, that'll put you in hospital, dude.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48- The internet literally just saved our lives.- Yeah, just saved us.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50That could even be worthy of an Instagram, as well.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53I love how we've completely forgotten about the grasshopper
0:21:53 > 0:21:55- and all we care about is... - That changed into a big drama.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57It honestly did. Holy shit...!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- Are you winding me up? - I'm only joking.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Dude, you shouldn't do shit like that!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04You shouldn't do it. That's the fucking strength of a bullet.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05That's not funny.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I'm not going to lie -
0:22:07 > 0:22:10as much as I genuinely don't want to touch these rhino crickets,
0:22:10 > 0:22:12I am actually starving.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13What are we going to have to do now?
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Make a fire. That should be fun. Come on.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20We have to get a fire going tonight, man.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Or we're not going to cook our delicious crickets.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25What you got on the phone? Any videos cued up?
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Let's have a look.
0:22:26 > 0:22:32'They were going to be just doing a quick demo on how to start a fire
0:22:32 > 0:22:35'with just some simple hand sanitiser.'
0:22:35 > 0:22:37We've got that. Let's try it.
0:22:37 > 0:22:42'What you do, about a quarter-sized blob, like this.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48'So, let's see if we can get this to go.'
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Have you ever used a ferro knife before?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- No.- Right, so, we used these before.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57You just create bare sparks, innit?
0:22:59 > 0:23:00It's 62% alcohol...
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Whoa! It's lit!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Shut up! Have you got some leaves?
0:23:04 > 0:23:08- Scrunched-up ones.- It's kind of weird when shit actually works.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13It's time to start thinking about roasting some crickets.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I feel like, of all the things on my bucket list, to do in my life,
0:23:17 > 0:23:19this was just nowhere near it.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21- This is not on it. - This is, like, the bottom.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Oh, you're so lucky you got the big one.
0:23:24 > 0:23:25More protein for Conor.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30We're going to spear it while it's on the floor.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Did you hear the crunch? Oh, my God!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I like my crickets well done.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38OK, now, the piece de resistance.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- Oh, my God! - D'you think that one's cooking?
0:23:42 > 0:23:45This is the last thing I would ever put on my rider.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48This one is, like, definitely finished.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Cockroach still slightly moving, now and again.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53I mean, they are hard bastards, aren't they?
0:23:53 > 0:23:54Shall I take its wings off?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Oh, my God!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I think this is the bit you literally eat.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Right. OK...
0:24:06 > 0:24:07I'm going in.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Ugh!
0:24:19 > 0:24:21It tastes like pork. I wasn't expecting that.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Pork, of all things.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I think it tastes like shrimp. Similar to shrimp.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Half shrimp, half pork.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- What about the cockroach?- It's going to be a different journey.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34- Are we actually going to try it? - We certainly are, my man.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- Name's Roach. Cock Roach.- God.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40Right, so, after a night
0:24:40 > 0:24:45of being out here in the jungle in Costa Rica, catching...
0:24:47 > 0:24:53Well, catching/running away from insects all around the floor,
0:24:53 > 0:24:57we've finally put together a fire and ate a bunch of...
0:24:57 > 0:24:59What are they called? Rhino crickets?
0:24:59 > 0:25:00- Rhino crickets.- Rhino crickets.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04And the piece de la resistance...
0:25:04 > 0:25:05piece de la resistance, is...
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- An actual cockroach. - A giant cockroach...
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- On a stick.- ..that we... Well, I say WE captured.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13- Did we capture it? I held the bag. - We captured it together, bro.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Yeah, we did it together. It was a team effort.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- That's why we are going to eat it together.- And...
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Yeah!
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Winging it.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- Eugh...- Eat.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27This is the bleakest moment of my whole career.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29How are you going to split it in half?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- I don't know, dude! - Did you bring a knife?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33- Are we going to bother with cutlery now?- A little incision!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35I tell you what...
0:25:36 > 0:25:38..you can just have a little taster.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- Ready?- I've got just like the crunchy bit, like a potato skin.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I can feel the tapeworm going in, I can feel it.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54- That one just... That one doesn't taste normal.- That's not good.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- LAUGHING:- I can't do that!
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Right, I need some rest. I've got to...
0:26:00 > 0:26:03We have to get some sleep or we're not going to be able to deal with
0:26:03 > 0:26:06whatever challenges the jungle throws at us tomorrow.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08- Let's do this.- Let's do it.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10All I can taste is that fishy cockroach taste.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12- Can you taste it?- Disgusting.
0:26:12 > 0:26:13It's rank, isn't it?
0:26:15 > 0:26:19GENTLE FLUTE MELODY
0:26:22 > 0:26:25HE SPEAKS MALEKU
0:26:35 > 0:26:39The beginning of day two.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Literally just woke up.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Let me tell you, sleeping in a tent
0:26:45 > 0:26:47in the middle of the chorus
0:26:47 > 0:26:49that we slept in last night is no cop out.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52No pillow, which I kind of was a little bit upset about -
0:26:52 > 0:26:56the standard object that you'd find in a bed, but we didn't get that.
0:26:57 > 0:27:02The rhino crickets and the cockroach we had for dinner
0:27:02 > 0:27:05were strangely satisfying in the sense that...
0:27:05 > 0:27:08they take your appetite away completely for quite a long time!
0:27:08 > 0:27:11I feel a bit more tired today than I was yesterday,
0:27:11 > 0:27:13so we will see what effect that has on me.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Hopefully, I don't scream at Russell, so...
0:27:18 > 0:27:19How weird is that?!
0:27:19 > 0:27:23I can't believe that's an insect, it looks fully like a leaf.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Amazing! I wonder what it tastes like?
0:27:25 > 0:27:28All I want to do now is eat everything when I see it.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Looks like it would FEEL like a leaf.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Yeah, it does, it has the texture of a leaf.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Urgh!
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Hey, Leafy.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47- AMERICAN ACCENT:- Did you hear a couple of rhino crickets
0:27:47 > 0:27:48were hanging around here last night?
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Joey and Benny. Great couple of guys.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Didn't come back last night.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Don't know if any of your team saw anything?
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Um...
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Maybe.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03Morning, mate. How was your sleep last night?
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- Mine was pretty broken. - Mine was awful.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07I think I must have woken up about four times.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10I can't sleep on my side. I've got no pillow,
0:28:10 > 0:28:14which I was whingeing about, but I have found this online.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17In our basic emergency provisions bag, I know we have some of these.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19We are going to look at about 20 different ways
0:28:19 > 0:28:21to use condoms in a survival situation.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Electronics are very susceptible to the elements,
0:28:24 > 0:28:25so if you are packing something,
0:28:25 > 0:28:29you want to take your condom, place it around...
0:28:29 > 0:28:32- That's a good idea.- ..and I'm sure it will still receive a signal.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35If you really get desperate, it could be used as a pillow.
0:28:35 > 0:28:36Oh, right.
0:28:36 > 0:28:41- OK, maybe not. - So it can't be used as a pillow?
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Inflated, they can be used as a signalling device.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46Over here! We are in trouble!
0:28:46 > 0:28:48You would not go towards him, would you?
0:28:48 > 0:28:51And they can make an improvised balloon for kids.
0:28:51 > 0:28:52Imagine giving that to kids!
0:28:52 > 0:28:55Play with a condom. See you on a register.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Be strong, be of good courage.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59God bless America.
0:28:59 > 0:29:00Long live the Republic.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Wow.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06I wonder who he is going to vote for in the election(?)
0:29:06 > 0:29:10Right... Not all knowledge on the internet is great.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13I've been surprised by how much the internet has helped us on this trip,
0:29:13 > 0:29:16how much information is out there, how quickly you can get it,
0:29:16 > 0:29:19as opposed to just having to, like, search for it yourself.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21- You couldn't have done this ten years ago.- No.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24Not with a Lonely Planet and an insect book, but in ten years,
0:29:24 > 0:29:27when there is superfast whatever it's going to be called,
0:29:27 > 0:29:30the Zuckerberg network, over the whole planet,
0:29:30 > 0:29:33then I think you'll be OK.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36There will be ultraviolet apps, there will be...
0:29:36 > 0:29:38But will that take away the whole aspect
0:29:38 > 0:29:40- of being in the middle of nowhere? - This is the problem.
0:29:40 > 0:29:44By answering all the questions, do we then kill off mystery?
0:29:44 > 0:29:48- That is profound! Wow!- I feel like we should take a selfie.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51Shall I be in the background, like a pinhead? It's quite funny, look.
0:29:51 > 0:29:52Yeah.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Nailed it.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57I love a pinhead in the background picture.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06Mate, according to our map, it's saying it's only like a small hike.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09Just got to keep heading through the jungle.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12I am soaked through, through to my pants. Every part of me is wet.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15May need to get a waterproof cover on the phone,
0:30:15 > 0:30:16or we won't have a phone.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19- Shall we try the condoms? - Let's do it.
0:30:19 > 0:30:21Why have you got them creepily handy all the time?
0:30:21 > 0:30:24You told me to make sure that I have them at all times!
0:30:24 > 0:30:26This is the weirdest thing I've ever done.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28You are a pro at this.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30Oh, it's ribbed. Is it ribbed?
0:30:30 > 0:30:32Oh, it's not ribbed! Who bought ribbed?!
0:30:32 > 0:30:34The phone is getting so much pleasure now!
0:30:34 > 0:30:37That's made the phone totally safe to put up my arse now.
0:30:37 > 0:30:40We have to make this waterproof, because without this...
0:30:40 > 0:30:42We don't like unsafe sexting.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44Now we can sext with protection.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47We have one waterproof phone. How clever.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50This really is the third tribesman,
0:30:50 > 0:30:53the one with the knowledge. Without this, we're going down hard.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55- Shall we press on?- Let's do it.
0:30:55 > 0:30:58Ugh, went down my back! Argh!
0:30:58 > 0:31:01It's like every experience is unpleasant.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Can't we do something that's fun?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07I wonder what those Malekus are doing right now?
0:31:20 > 0:31:23Just think of all of the Maleku that have walked this path.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25I can hear the river in both directions.
0:31:27 > 0:31:28This way.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34- Is this safe?- Oh, my God!
0:31:34 > 0:31:36- Whoa!- I can see the river.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39Yes! Thank you, maps!
0:31:39 > 0:31:43Thank you, internet! I can see the river.
0:31:43 > 0:31:44That looks dangerous.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Ohh...!
0:31:49 > 0:31:54- God...- This is more slippery than David Cameron's forehead.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58Look at the - there is no other word for it - skid mark. Oh!
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Oh, crikey.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Crikey!
0:32:02 > 0:32:06Grab onto the vine, quick. Remember, from the abseiling, yesterday.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09We are using yesterday's knowledge to survive today.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12That is what it's about, dude. Learn and adapt.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15No bum-sliding for us.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Oh, yes! It is going to ping back on us.
0:32:18 > 0:32:19Stand clear.
0:32:20 > 0:32:24We just came down a slope that most other people would have bum-slid on,
0:32:24 > 0:32:27but because of yesterday's knowledge, we abseiled using a vine.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29- We are bad-arse.- We are literally owning the jungle.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32I wouldn't be surprised if I start speaking Maleku in a minute.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Choppy-choppy!
0:32:34 > 0:32:38Oh, my God. Look at the colour of it!
0:32:38 > 0:32:41It's like melted Smurf! Look at it!
0:32:41 > 0:32:42Wow!
0:32:44 > 0:32:45Why is it so blue?
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Have you ever seen anything that colour before?
0:32:48 > 0:32:50That's like water on steroids.
0:32:50 > 0:32:53It's like a Maldives holiday brochure, but more violent.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55We've still got to get across it, though.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57I honestly don't know how we are going to do that bit.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01- No.- Can you see what we can see?
0:33:01 > 0:33:04- I ain't going across that!- I think we may just have found a way across.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06Surely not, surely not.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09There is absolutely no way.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11There is no way we are going across that.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13You're in trainers, I'm in wellington boots.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16There will be people screaming at the television at this point.
0:33:16 > 0:33:20I genuinely can't believe we're doing this.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24We are just sort of brokenly doing it to get back to the hotel.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25The Malekus can have our lives!
0:33:25 > 0:33:28I can't believe we're going on this thing.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32Whoa!
0:33:32 > 0:33:34Aargh! This is actually scary!
0:33:36 > 0:33:39It looks a lot further now you are here.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42It looks like another city, the distance we've got to travel.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44- Terrifying.- So slippy.
0:33:44 > 0:33:48This was not on the Google map at all. This was not on the maps.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51That blue water is not beautiful any more.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Whoa...!
0:33:53 > 0:33:54Careful, man.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03This bit doesn't look very good fun.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14- This is bad news. - How are you doing, Russ?
0:34:15 > 0:34:16Ahh...!
0:34:20 > 0:34:23OK... OK!
0:34:25 > 0:34:26Wasn't too bad.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30I nearly slipped, right in the middle.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34Wow. That was a rush!
0:34:36 > 0:34:38We cleared that.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40That was quite sick.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56Now is the time to start thinking about food.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58- Dude, that's a heart of palm, that one there.- That tree?
0:34:58 > 0:35:02Yeah, look. From the wikiHow page - heart of palm, you can eat them.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04- That's literally it. - There was no scale, so I didn't know
0:35:04 > 0:35:07- they were that big.- How do you eat it?- Chop the whole thing down.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09I'm going to check if we can eat it raw on Twitter.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11I know you can eat it cooked - I've had it in restaurants.
0:35:11 > 0:35:15Can you eat it raw?
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Here we are. Sharon Forbes says...
0:35:25 > 0:35:26Name-drop!
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Oh, look, I've got something here. Check this out.
0:35:28 > 0:35:32- MAN:- Heart of palm basically is the germinal centre of a palm tree,
0:35:32 > 0:35:34and it's the green area.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37At the centre of that green area is a white cone...
0:35:37 > 0:35:39It's the white cone of stuff in the middle.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Mainly, what you're looking for
0:35:41 > 0:35:44is the green germinal centre at the top of the tree.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48The green germinal centre at the top of the tree - it's up there.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50He is eating it raw as well.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Dude, I can't wait to try that!
0:35:52 > 0:35:55It is like a cross between a Cheesestring and...
0:35:55 > 0:35:58- And celery.- Yeah, Cheesestring and leaves.- Cheesestring!- Awesome.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00We have a job ahead of us, but it's going to be worth it
0:36:00 > 0:36:02- to have an authentic jungle snack. - Let's do it.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03Yes, we get to use our knives!
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Stand clear!
0:36:09 > 0:36:11My God, I've turned into such a wuss.
0:36:11 > 0:36:14I feel bad about hurting the tree! Sorry!
0:36:14 > 0:36:16It looks a little bit shaky.
0:36:17 > 0:36:22Do you want a go? Do not chop with your limb in the way.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Yeah, yeah, do that. Do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30- COCKNEY ACCENT:- Yeah, d'you like that, yeah?
0:36:30 > 0:36:32Action shot. Little video.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35- I feel like it's going to go. - It's going to go.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37Right, it's going to go that way.
0:36:37 > 0:36:38Turn your 3-D off!
0:36:38 > 0:36:40- Yeah!- Whoo!
0:36:40 > 0:36:42That's what happens when you mess with the Jungle Crew!
0:36:42 > 0:36:45Dude, we just chopped a tree down with a fricking machete.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47- Beautiful.- That is badass!
0:36:47 > 0:36:50- Dude!- Unbelievably, dinner is locked in there somewhere.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54Yeah, that looks good.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Dinner!
0:36:56 > 0:36:57Right.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59- I reckon about here. - That looks soft.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04- Done.- There it is, the good stuff!
0:37:04 > 0:37:07That's what Papa Bear needs - some honey for his cave.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09There's honey in there. Mm!
0:37:09 > 0:37:12We have to now split it, like they did in the video.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16- Then, if you like, you can have a peeling session.- Let's do it.
0:37:16 > 0:37:17- Yeah, go on, then, man.- Let's do it.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25- Whoa!- I'm so hungry, I can't wait.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Shit - we chopped down a whole tree for that?!
0:37:27 > 0:37:28I feel out of order.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31It's like killing a chicken and eating the beak.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35Oh, hello, that looks like it.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38- There we go. That's it. - Is that the heart of the palm?
0:37:38 > 0:37:41- It looks... Yeah, it looks like... - Just get stuck in.
0:37:44 > 0:37:47How would you describe it?
0:37:47 > 0:37:49- Lovely.- It's like raw mushroom.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52- It's absolutely disgusting. - Do you not like it?
0:37:52 > 0:37:54Dude! We haven't eaten for days!
0:37:54 > 0:37:57I don't like it at all. That's disgusting. So grim!
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Cockroach for your dinner tonight, then.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07This is the stuff they sell in tins.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10CONOR GAGS, RUSSELL LAUGHS
0:38:12 > 0:38:13No, I really don't like it.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16I don't know why. My mouth just doesn't agree with the taste of it.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18I'm sorry, we should have checked before we ordered.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20You got anything else?
0:38:20 > 0:38:23That is... I can't swallow it.
0:38:25 > 0:38:26I can't do it.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29I'm going to have a nibble on that while we go exploring.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32- It's all yours, buddy. - This is hard-core Maleku.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55WATER RUSHES
0:38:55 > 0:38:57I recognise that sound.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59An angry river.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Maybe you can go first this time, you know.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03I went first with the abseiling.
0:39:12 > 0:39:13This looks really dangerous.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16Come on, man, we can't put it off any longer,
0:39:16 > 0:39:18- as terrifying as it is. - Let's do it.
0:39:18 > 0:39:20We have to find a place to cross it up there, OK?
0:39:20 > 0:39:21Right, OK.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26That's all that standing between us and getting back up to that hotel
0:39:26 > 0:39:28- and finishing this thing.- Yeah.
0:39:28 > 0:39:32We've got to do it, man. I hate this river.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34How can something so beautiful be so vile?
0:39:37 > 0:39:39I just need to get out of this place now.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41I feel like this is where the jungle could, like,
0:39:41 > 0:39:44- seriously bitch-slap us. - Yeah, we could get slayed here.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47I don't think I ever even passed my level-two breaststroke either.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52- I think I did five lengths, max... - I'm dreading this.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55..then I thought, "I don't want to be a swimmer."
0:39:55 > 0:39:58Bear Grylls always says rivers are the highway of the jungle.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Well, I'm sick of being clamped. Let's move.
0:40:02 > 0:40:05- Do you want to go first? - No, you go first, mate.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08No rock, paper, scissors here. There's just rock everywhere!
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Oh, my God, it's freezing!
0:40:10 > 0:40:11I'm shaking.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14It's really strong, the current is really strong.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16It's really dangerous, isn't it?
0:40:16 > 0:40:20There is a bit of rock, you can sort of fall down in between here.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23That's not safe. It's like a gap between two rocks.
0:40:23 > 0:40:24Come this way, come this way.
0:40:26 > 0:40:30- Shitting shit, that's deep, there. - Whoa!
0:40:30 > 0:40:31We're going to have to swim this bit.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41Careful, man. You have to come in here.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Grab that.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50- Are you going to go for it?- Dude, there is no way out of this now.
0:40:50 > 0:40:51Ready?
0:41:01 > 0:41:05- Oh, my God!- Whoa!
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Just a little water, Conor.
0:41:21 > 0:41:22Come on, Conor, this way.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26Unbelievable! That was so powerful.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Oh...!
0:41:30 > 0:41:32That was bad.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35Oh, my God, I got washed so badly.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Oh, Jesus...
0:41:43 > 0:41:46- That was scary. How scared were you there?- Mate...
0:41:46 > 0:41:48- When we jumped out on that bit... - Yeah.
0:41:48 > 0:41:49..I felt like I had no control.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53- It's the rocks.- Either I'm going to hit something and luckily stop,
0:41:53 > 0:41:55or I am going to carry on going with the river.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58It's only 15 minutes, tops, from here,
0:41:58 > 0:42:00- now that we have crossed the river. - Let's get there.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02All we have to do is walk, soaked through.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04What's uncomfortable about that(?)
0:42:09 > 0:42:11- It's getting dark, man. - We need to get back.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Can't tell you what it feels like to be this soaked through,
0:42:13 > 0:42:17walking in a humid jungle. It is not a pleasant feeling.
0:42:17 > 0:42:21I feel like I've pooed myself. It's a horrible feeling.
0:42:21 > 0:42:23I am getting major chafing right now.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25I have got a degree of chafing.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28Oh...!
0:42:28 > 0:42:30Do you reckon the Malekus have enjoyed being us?
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Yeah. I can't wait to be us.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35I'm so tired.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37We are in the hotel grounds.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39Feels like civilisation.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42Can't believe we have got, like, an Indiana Jones Bridge.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46Dude, hold on. This would be a crap place to die.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48It's actually really scary.
0:42:48 > 0:42:50I'm still scared!
0:42:50 > 0:42:53I might even be scared in my hotel room.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56Oh, my God, how is that safe?! How?!
0:42:56 > 0:42:57Nailed it.
0:42:57 > 0:42:59Nailed it!
0:43:02 > 0:43:05- This is it, man.- Look!
0:43:05 > 0:43:06- No!- That is a proper path.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09That wasn't even a path, that was just stones.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11This is, like, crazy paving from the '80s.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13Now we have got to find the Maleku.
0:43:13 > 0:43:16- Uh...- Shit, man. I'm really suddenly self-conscious
0:43:16 > 0:43:18about what we're wearing.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24I hope we don't see any of the other guests.
0:43:24 > 0:43:25Which way?
0:43:25 > 0:43:28I still need the compass, this is pathetic!
0:43:32 > 0:43:36Ah... See, this is the type of jungle I like.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37What is going on? Where is everyone?
0:43:37 > 0:43:39They're not even going to serve us at the hotel bar.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42What if there has been an apocalypse while we were out there,
0:43:42 > 0:43:44- and everyone's dead? - Do you know what?
0:43:44 > 0:43:47And the only people that are left are the Maleku.
0:43:47 > 0:43:48I'd still serve myself a beer.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Then I would call home and check if everyone was OK.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53I would still have a beer first. Is that bad?
0:43:53 > 0:43:55I'd be right there with you.
0:43:55 > 0:43:56Oh, a swimming pool!
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Look at the Jacuzzi. Look at the Jacuzzi.
0:44:01 > 0:44:03They're in the Jacuzzi!
0:44:03 > 0:44:05Oh, my God!
0:44:05 > 0:44:08- Hapi-kapi.- Hapi-kapi.- Hapi-kapi.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Oh, man! You look like you are enjoying yourselves.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Oh, they are very happy.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16- Shall we come in? - Can I come in in my jungle gear?
0:44:16 > 0:44:18- Oh...!- Oh, man.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Oh, my goodness.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27- Well, guys... - Being Maleku is exhausting.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36We had cockroach and grasshopper.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40Si.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43We loved it. We finished all of them.
0:44:46 > 0:44:47'I ate the bugs, I camped in the bush,'
0:44:47 > 0:44:50it is not something I would choose to repeat,
0:44:50 > 0:44:52but it was pretty bad-arse.
0:44:58 > 0:44:59Are we Maleku now?
0:45:05 > 0:45:068%. 'I really enjoyed'
0:45:06 > 0:45:09the cultural exchange, when you don't have language.
0:45:09 > 0:45:14- ALL:- # Maleku, Maleku... #
0:45:17 > 0:45:20- Kapi-kapi.- Kapi-kapi.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24Do we have any idea if they are naked right now?
0:45:28 > 0:45:30'This is the last thing I would ever choose to do.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33'I think, to get so messy, so wet, and just'
0:45:33 > 0:45:35have everything against you the entire time,
0:45:35 > 0:45:36I would never have chosen it,
0:45:36 > 0:45:39'but I really did enjoy it and I really had loads and loads of fun.'
0:45:39 > 0:45:41'Conor was amazing on this trip,
0:45:41 > 0:45:44'but he was rubbish, like me, in every department.'
0:45:44 > 0:45:47We are pampered little city boys who like taking selfies,
0:45:47 > 0:45:50hanging out on the internet and having a job based on
0:45:50 > 0:45:52poncing around on stage. I don't want to change it.
0:46:01 > 0:46:02Stupid Man, Smart Phone.
0:46:02 > 0:46:05I'd just like to say we only picked the title cos it sounds funny.
0:46:05 > 0:46:10I would declare the smartphone won.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12'I think people will be surprised how well we did.'
0:46:25 > 0:46:27Can we do...una selfie?
0:46:32 > 0:46:34- Squeeze in.- Look at my hair! - Oh, God.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37- Kapi-kapi.- Kapi-kapi.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40Video. OK. We have come to the end of our mission.
0:46:40 > 0:46:42These are our friends. Say kapi-kapi.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45- Kapi-kapi.- This is Conor. Say, "Hello, I'm from Brighton."
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Hello, I'm from Brighton.
0:46:47 > 0:46:48And it's been amazing,
0:46:48 > 0:46:51we've survived in the rainforest jungle
0:46:51 > 0:46:53only using a phone, and it's over now.
0:46:53 > 0:46:55I'd like to say I'm sad, but I'm not.
0:46:55 > 0:46:56That's the end. Goodbye.
0:46:56 > 0:47:00- Bye!- Adios, adios!