0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08For centuries, explorers have battled with nature. Now, pampered comedian, Russell Kane...
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- Oh! It's freezing! - ..wants to join their ranks....
0:00:11 > 0:00:12I miss my mum.
0:00:12 > 0:00:15..by tackling extreme survival
0:00:15 > 0:00:17with just...
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- This.- ..a mobile phone?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23How to find water in the desert.
0:00:23 > 0:00:24I use my phone for everything.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26Turn the choke all the way down.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28It's got billions of users round the world.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30The web has all the answers.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33It's here on the map - that's it there!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Joined by the internet's brightest stars...
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Oh, my God, I'm a Jedi!- ..and their legions of followers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Going to get physical.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42I don't think the production team
0:00:42 > 0:00:44are always going to be taking it that easy on us.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45HE RETCHES
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Together, they'll face the worst that nature can throw at them.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Russell!
0:00:49 > 0:00:52I just want to know that if we get bitten by something,
0:00:52 > 0:00:53we've got the antidote.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Oh, God! Yeah, the team will ensure that we're safe
0:00:56 > 0:00:58and that we always have internet reception.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00They're accompanied by a barely helpful crew...
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Please! Come on, guys.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05..who'll be throwing in the odd curveball.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06The doors don't close.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08They'll use their signal...
0:01:08 > 0:01:09We've got a bag of poo.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10..for survival.
0:01:10 > 0:01:11Light the bag! Who said that?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- Yes!- Oh! I love you, internet.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17- This time...- I'm alive!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19..it's internet versus the mountain.
0:01:19 > 0:01:20This is just not my thing.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23As Russell is joined by YouTube bad man...
0:01:23 > 0:01:24Have you ever climbed anything before?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- Erm, the stairs.- ..Humza Arshad.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31The Queen is now being forced by the Muslims to wear...
0:01:31 > 0:01:32the hijab.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Their mission is to conquer a fear of heights...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- That was horrible. - ..and forbidden food...
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Oh, my God!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40What is that? What is that?
0:01:40 > 0:01:43In order to climb the Italian Dolomites.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Godspeed, Stupid Man.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56It's not what you think of when you think of Italy.
0:01:56 > 0:02:01You normally think of people sat around drinking olive oil.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03Not having their genitals shrunk to the size of an acorn...
0:02:04 > 0:02:05..by icy winds.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08I forgot to bring gloves.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11We're about two and a half thousand metres up, something like that.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15So, I'm just hoping someone turns up that's got some practical skills.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17HIP-HOP PLAYS
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Someone that knows how to... certainly how to build a fire.
0:02:24 > 0:02:28Someone that can help me turn this into a brilliant experience.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32(Oh, it's Humza.)
0:02:32 > 0:02:33He's funny - but I'm funny.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Hey, man.- What's going on, man?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I was hoping it was you. I was just saying.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- Yeah.- I was hoping some online comedian South Londoner
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- would come and save my arse. - Well, this is me, this is me.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- What is that? - Erm...this is, erm...
0:02:47 > 0:02:48laziness.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Have you ever been camping?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- No.- You've never put a tent up or anything?
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- No.- Have you ever cooked outside?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59You've done a barbecue - have you ever done a barbecue?
0:02:59 > 0:03:00My brother has.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Ever been anywhere cold like this ever?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04What's the coldest place you've been?
0:03:04 > 0:03:05Erm...
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Brighton.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09- Oh, my God!- Oh, my God. Can we go into the...
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- It's so cold. - ..the five-star hotel now?
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Do we know what we're doing?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16We've got to meet some random guy called Joe.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Do you speak any Italian?
0:03:17 > 0:03:18No, teach me.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Buongiorno's hello.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Isn't bonjour French?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- No, buongior-no. - Oh, that's copying though.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25- That's the same thing. - Yeah, buongiorno.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Hello.- Hi, how are you?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Are you Joe?- I am Joe, yes.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Russell.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Oh, Russell. Hey.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- Bonjour-no.- Buongiorno!
0:03:38 > 0:03:41So, we've come from London - North...South.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45- South.- We have to travel on separate planes cos of different postcodes.
0:03:47 > 0:03:53OK. So, I heard that you think that you can survive in my mountains only
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- with your phone. - We've got no skills.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Humza's never even been to the cold before.- No.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01But we've got social media, messaging, pages, videos,
0:04:01 > 0:04:05video calls. We believe that all we need is the phone.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07OK. I have a nice mission for you.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10Turn around, look up there.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12You see this mountain?
0:04:13 > 0:04:16The mission is to climb up this mountain.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20You're kidding...
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I will wait for you up there and then we see how it...
0:04:29 > 0:04:31it works.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34What? Hold on a second - the very pointy bit in the middle?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Yes, the very pointy.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38It looks like you wouldn't be able to fit on it.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Have you ever climbed anything before?
0:04:40 > 0:04:41Erm...the stairs.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45This is for you.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47In there are some special clothes.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51I was in the hotel last night. I couldn't even sleep in the hotel,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53it was too cold in the room.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Now I'm living on a...on a fricking mountain like Taliban.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58You know what I mean, I don't want to be the Taliban.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01BLEEP. BLEEP.
0:05:06 > 0:05:07What do you think of my hat?
0:05:07 > 0:05:09I think it's...pretty.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11It doesn't do up under my chin.
0:05:11 > 0:05:12Very nice!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- Do we look sexy? - My shoes feel a bit...
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Very good. - If you were a woman maybe...
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- I don't know.- No? - No, no, it's fine.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- OK.- I will wait for you up there, OK?
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- How are you going to get up there? - Yeah, can we come with you?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25That's my problem, not your problem, OK?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- OK.- You have your phone? - Yes.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Contact me when you are in trouble but not before, OK?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Are you on Snapchat?
0:05:33 > 0:05:34- Yes.- I don't know what's Snapchat.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36I have a phone and you can call me, OK?
0:05:36 > 0:05:39- Oh, my God, he's not on Snapchat. - Yeah, I know, it's not cool.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40OK, that's fine.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- We'll be fine.- OK, good luck.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- Thanks, man. Cheers, Joe. - Bye-bye.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47They're in trouble, yes? They are in serious trouble.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49I tell you what you can use is a compass on the phone.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- Yeah.- Oh, it's working.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- I'm always slightly amazed when something works, aren't you?- Yeah.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Navigation for them is the most important thing.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59If they get lost, they have problems.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03Right, that's north - that way. Straight through the house.
0:06:03 > 0:06:04Well, that would be right.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- In fact we knew that cos the mountain is there, duh.- Yeah.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08How thick was that?
0:06:10 > 0:06:13I've got reservations about our abilities to achieve anything.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16I couldn't see Sir Ranulph Fiennes and Humza hanging out,
0:06:16 > 0:06:17put it that way.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19My first impressions of Russell is, erm...
0:06:19 > 0:06:21He seems like a bit of an idiot, really.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Are you ever in a restaurant... Sometimes I go to the loo and when
0:06:24 > 0:06:27the doors are all white, I come out and I'm like, "Which door is it?"
0:06:27 > 0:06:29And I open the disabled toilet by accident and there's
0:06:29 > 0:06:31some guy in a wheelchair trying to have a poo.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33It's never happened to me, Russell. Ever.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Let me check what altitude we're currently at.- Yeah.
0:06:36 > 0:06:37We're at 2,104.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I've just tweeted,
0:06:42 > 0:06:44"What's the quickest way to get up that mountain?"
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I'm not here to fail, you know what I mean?
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Erm... "I don't know but just take a helicopter or something."
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I'm not that rich to, like, book out a helicopter...
0:06:53 > 0:06:55unless there's a budget.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56- What do you mean?- OK.
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Maybe we need to use our phone in a smarter way.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04- What do you mean? Cheat? - No, not cheating.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06- But, look, the mission is to get to the top...- Yeah.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08..using your phone.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10If we type in, I don't know, like "cable cars" or something...
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Just cos you type something into Google doesn't make it...
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- Google knows everything, trust me.- I could Google, "I hope the buffet and
0:07:16 > 0:07:19"some hotties arrive." They won't be at the bottom of the hill."
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- Yeah, but that's a request, not a question.- Does it look like
0:07:21 > 0:07:25there's going to be a cable car around here that conveniently goes up a mountain? Don't think so.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- I told you there was a cable car. - All right, all right, all right.
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Fool.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Looks open though, doesn't it? Dickhead.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Like, we just need to ask one of these guys... like, you know,
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- "When does it open?" Or something. - Ah, buongiorno.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Buongiorno. - HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Si.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48It's closed.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49- Closed?- Si.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53- Buongiorno.- Buongiorno.
0:07:53 > 0:07:54RUSSELL SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Will someone be able to pay?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- Oh, OK.- Oh, crikey.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Buongiorno.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Parla inglese?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Oh, good. Erm, hello.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14My name is Russell.
0:08:14 > 0:08:19We have a...we have a mission that we have to complete for television.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21We have to get up a mountain.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Would you be able to operate it for us today
0:08:23 > 0:08:27just so we could get to the top? Thank you very much, that's great.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29I'll pass you back. Bye.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33I had to pretend to be Russell Howard. He was like,
0:08:33 > 0:08:35"I cannot do it." And I was like, "You know Good News?"
0:08:35 > 0:08:37He went, "Ah, my children love Good News."
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Yeah, yeah.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Please, come on.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Skin. Don't leave me hanging...
0:08:44 > 0:08:46HIP-HOP PLAYS
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Wow!
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Wow. This is crazy.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Oh, my...
0:09:13 > 0:09:14God!
0:09:15 > 0:09:17I'd love to wee off here, wouldn't you?
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Yeah!
0:09:21 > 0:09:22This is incredible.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26It's, like, breathtaking.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29What's the altitude? What's the altitude?
0:09:29 > 0:09:302,700.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33We're 2.7km in the air.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36That's amazing. Well done.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40You found the cable car.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Congratulations.- Is that...
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- Pretty chuffed.- Wasn't that, erm...
0:09:45 > 0:09:47We're not supposed to get that high?
0:09:48 > 0:09:49So, where is the summit?
0:09:51 > 0:09:52Erm...
0:09:58 > 0:09:59OK, one thing that I've just...
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- It's that one, isn't it?- Yeah.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- We're above it and it's miles away. - Yeah.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12So, you let us just go up, knowing that it's the wrong mountain?
0:10:18 > 0:10:19Shit.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26We don't have a snowboard, we don't have skis.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28We haven't even got proper boots for walking in snow.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30We've got sort of mountain boots. Any suggestions?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33- Tweet?- Tweet.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Well, it could be worse.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45How?
0:10:45 > 0:10:46I don't know.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49The only decent responses I've been getting on my Facebook wall is from
0:10:49 > 0:10:51- someone called Peak Survival. - Oh, yeah?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54- I don't if it's worth trying to Skype them.- Yeah, try it.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57SKYPE RING TONE
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Hear me now.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02HE RAPS
0:11:04 > 0:11:06- Hi. - Hey!- Hello!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Listen, can I tell you what's happened?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10We sort of need to be over there on that peak....
0:11:10 > 0:11:13- Yeah, up there.- But the only way we can see round is down there.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18We don't have skis, snowboards, we've got nothing.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Best thing to do is just look around you and use
0:11:20 > 0:11:23the route of less resistance. So, don't make things
0:11:23 > 0:11:26harder for yourself. If there's, like, some natural paths already
0:11:26 > 0:11:30kind of obvious to you, follow those. You can actually kind of make
0:11:30 > 0:11:33this more fun and slide down in areas that you can, you know.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36But make sure, obviously, you can use your feet to stop yourself
0:11:36 > 0:11:38cos you don't want to pick up too much momentum.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40But how can we get down it? We've got no equipment.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42What's the best way down that slope?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Do you happen to have any climbing equipment or ropes
0:11:44 > 0:11:47- or anything like that?- There might be something we can improvise.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50The key thing, too, is to be quite creative, you know, working with
0:11:50 > 0:11:53what you have and trying to even create something. It's actually a
0:11:53 > 0:11:55good morale booster, too, cos it's an activity.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Morale.- Survival bags!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59I was looking at the same thing.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Imagine if we go in and up to our necks.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03I can't think of a better use for the survival bag than to turn it
0:12:03 > 0:12:05into a sledge and slide down a mountain.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Let's do it! Cool.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11You know, we might've carried these bloody things around and not bloody used them.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14If we hadn't Skyped her, I never would have thought of this.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- It looks a lot steeper when you get here, doesn't it?- Yeah, it does.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I'm not really an expert on this,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33jumping off the mountains on a bin bag, so...
0:12:33 > 0:12:35HE LAUGHS
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Don't leave a brown streak after you, OK?
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Erm...it's a bit late for that.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Good luck.- All right, here we go.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Lean back.
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Ah!
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Well, that worked.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Let me have a go.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54HE YELPS
0:12:56 > 0:12:58OK, that's not going to work.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03It don't work.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07This is shit, man.
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Let's try this.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13HE LAUGHS
0:13:24 > 0:13:27That worked slightly better.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I'm going backwards.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32That's good, it's working.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Why didn't I think of that?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36That's actually working. Well done, man.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39There's some rocks here, be careful.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Worked. Well done.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Humza, are you OK? - Yeah, I'm just a bit sick.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Well, you can finish your roly-poly if you want.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Can't we just walk?
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Listen, because we're getting out of breath and dizzy, how about we put
0:13:59 > 0:14:01- the bags in here...- Yep.- And when we're safely to the right, we can
0:14:01 > 0:14:04let them slide in front of us a bit, down to the next bit.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Then we've not got to carry them, they're dry.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10OK. I've got socks on my hands.
0:14:10 > 0:14:11I've got socks on my hands.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16Socks on my hands. We're making quite quick progress, though.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17The snow's doing the work.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Right, I'm going to try and go round to the right a bit.- All right.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Bang!
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Oh, wow.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Saves a bit of carrying.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Oh, wow, that worked.- It worked!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38That's going a bit fast.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39- Where are the phones?- What?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41- Where are the phones? - What do you mean?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43What do I mean? The phones!
0:14:44 > 0:14:45It's in the bag.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49Whoa!
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Russell wants us to go down the mountain
0:14:54 > 0:14:57and I have to rely on him now.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00And I don't even like walking in general, so if we make a wrong move,
0:15:00 > 0:15:04I don't know how I'm going to cope with it, cos walking's so long.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Ah, path, there's a path.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- Yeah?- Path.- Brilliant.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18You know cos it's getting dark?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Well, shouldn't we, like, try to find some sort of food?
0:15:21 > 0:15:22Yeah.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- You all right, yeah? - Yeah.- Good, good.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Oh, my God.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36What?
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Snails eating a jaw.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39And I'm not even joking.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- Huh?!- I'm not even joking.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44Eugh.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49That is disgusting.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- Well, we can't eat that. - What type of jaw is that?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Oh, wow.- That's gross!
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Something died down here.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58That's all that's left - a jawbone.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02At least there's deer round here then.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- Yeah.- Even though they're dead.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- Do you know where I was on holiday in the summer?- Yeah?- France.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- Yeah?- Every night as my starter in my hotel I had snails.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14- What do you think?- All right, then.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Let's eat...snails.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18I'm just thinking of food.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I don't even know if I'm allowed to eat them.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22I'll have to Google it later, as well.
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Is there no way we can, like,
0:16:23 > 0:16:26drain the blood from the snail and make it halal?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28I hope not.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Feeling a little bit happy with myself with the snails idea.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33I like snails anyway.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36It's just a case of finding the best...
0:16:36 > 0:16:39recipe and... Yeah, OK, snails are a starter,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42but I'm just going to have to have two starters.
0:16:42 > 0:16:48I wanted to show you how to harvest and enjoy eating your garden snails.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51Have you ever had snails, escargot, in a French restaurant?
0:16:51 > 0:16:52No, I've never had it.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55So, it's all right, honestly, they taste really nice.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57I'm assuming these will be the same.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02Even though we did find them eating a skanky dead deer under a rock.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05If you're going to harvest your snails, you're going to need to make
0:17:05 > 0:17:07sure you have a bag, a canvas bag or a paper bag.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I give you the "snocket" - pocket...
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Full of snails.- ..of snails.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15See you on Dragons' Den, bitches.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- I can't believe no-one's thought of that to be honest.- Snocket.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21One important thing about harvesting snails
0:17:21 > 0:17:23is you can't eat them right away.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26You don't know what they've been eating.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29So, you're going to have to keep them for about a week.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31- Oh.- Shit.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Disappointing news about snails.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Turns out you can't just pick a snail up off the floor and eat it.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39I think I vaguely knew this at the back of my mind.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40It's just wishful thinking.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42All right, let's keep going, anyway.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45This wouldn't be a bad emergency place to camp if we needed one later.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48Yeah. I mean, it worked for the deer.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- This way or that way?- That way.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04- We need to get round that and up there.- All right, cool.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06As far as I can tell, we have to keep travelling west.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11- As long as we're going up and west, we're heading in the right direction.- Yeah.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16After that, I don't really have a clue. I mean, we can get through here.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18- Yeah, let's do it. - It's just a bit pingy,
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- so you might want to let me get through my bit first.- All right.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23One of the best bits of survival advice I got was,
0:18:23 > 0:18:27"Just follow your plan through." Even if you're starting to think,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29"Oh, my plan's a pile of crap," follow it anyway.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33Ah.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36That's it.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Cos that gives the morale to everyone else.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I mean, even if you eventually die...
0:18:40 > 0:18:42I think we can get... Whoa.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45..the morale just before death is going to be amazing and I'm proud of that.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50I'm OK, guys. Obviously, I know you care about my safety
0:18:50 > 0:18:52because you didn't say anything.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55To be honest, I've, erm... Don't particularly know where we are.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57I'm just going to keep my positive energy up.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01Have a wee in a bush and then try and get this show back on the road.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Are you ready for this?
0:19:06 > 0:19:08OK.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17My manager said, "It would be fun," he said.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19"It'd be good for you," he said.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24What we should be doing is climbing higher so we can get a better
0:19:24 > 0:19:26vantage point. What about if we use the selfie stick?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30How high is a selfie stick going to go?
0:19:30 > 0:19:32Higher than we can. We can stand as high as we can
0:19:32 > 0:19:35and we can do that and use it like a periscope.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40That's all right actually. That's a pretty good idea, to be fair.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41Watch and learn.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52That's fantastic. You've got a bird's eye view.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54It's high up. It's only cos I've not tightened it.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57You're losing your temper. Where's your suggestion?
0:19:57 > 0:19:58- Russell!- Oh, shush...
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Russell!- I can see it, I can see it, I can see it!
0:20:00 > 0:20:03- See what?- The mountain. I can see the rocks.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09Just look there. You can see it without the phone.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10You dick!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Ah, got it! All right, watch out.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Oh, my penis!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Oh, no more kids.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Well done, well done. Nice.
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Erm...
0:20:33 > 0:20:35Either we went the wrong way...
0:20:35 > 0:20:37No, we didn't, man.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Come here.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41We need to find a way to get down from here.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43See if you've got anything on the phone.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50So, let's throw the packs down first.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51Yeah. Bon voyage!
0:20:51 > 0:20:53That's it.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54Well, my water supply's gone.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58The main thing was getting the support on Twitter.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59How big do you think the...
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- OK.- So, people are saying use the branches.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06- This is fine.- Although a lot of what comes back is nonsense...
0:21:06 > 0:21:09I don't want to put on any pressure but the sun is setting behind that hill.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Yeah.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13- Woo!- Ready?- Yeah, go on.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14It didn't work.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Ah!
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- My bum!- Just feeling like there are people there with you is giving you
0:21:20 > 0:21:22that strength to carry on.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24No, lower, get low, get low.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27There you go.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28It's like you're screwing the floor.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30That's it. That's what you've got to do.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32That was quite fun, actually.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44In 20 minutes it's going to be dark.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- Yeah?- I don't think we have the experience to be doing this with a
0:21:48 > 0:21:50head torch safely.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54I don't think we should go any further than this today.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I don't know about you, but it is fricking freezing.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- I know.- I just posted on my Instagram...
0:21:59 > 0:22:02- Yeah?- Yeah. Erm...
0:22:02 > 0:22:05like, basically, we need shelter FAST.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06So, these are the options...
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Yeah.- Run back down the mountain.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09No. Build one.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13- We can't. Someone suggested to jump in your- BLEEP!
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- Look for a cave.- Good idea.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25I'm going to look round in my camera and I'm going to zoom in.
0:22:25 > 0:22:26Yeah.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31OK.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36It's not a... Please don't be all the way up there.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40- I can't climb again.- That's not the tunnel, is it?
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- No.- It looks a bit tunnel-like to me.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Why don't we just see if that's the tunnel?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46It could just be an indent.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yeah. In a rock!
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Do you know what I mean?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- Oh, look, there's a track there. - That's not a track.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56- It is.- Shut up.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Well, it could lead somewhere.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Dude, this track's going nowhere.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03This is bleak, man.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08We're going to have cheat and hit TripAdvisor.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Please tell me there's a tunnel up there.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13I can't see anything.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18Sorry, I've got to put my hood up, I'm freezing.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20I can't feel anything.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- Is it there?- How is there a tunnel here?
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I'm... I'm sure...
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- Well, this looks, er... welcoming.- It will do, it's shelter.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46What is this place? What was it?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48I don't know where this is leading.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49This could go on for miles.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Do you know what? For the first time our Wi-Fi is genuinely not working.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05- Yeah.- Not even a satellite can get through that.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11So, that just shows that it's going to be very warm in here.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Here, the theory of it being warmer down here - that's the end of that.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16What would you do if my snot looked like this?
0:24:16 > 0:24:19I'm really cold, Humza.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21HE SHIVERS
0:24:21 > 0:24:24It's all made of snow. What the fuck? That's the outside!
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- No way!- That's a cliff! Be careful, that is a cliff.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28No, no, don't go any further.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31That is a cliff, that is a fucking cliff, I'm not even joking.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33I've got my night-vision on, dude.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- OK.- Do not go any further than the snow.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38You don't know if that's collapsing rock or anything.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39- What the...- I can't...
0:24:39 > 0:24:40I literally...
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Falafel.- I can't even see over that.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44OK, we're a long way up.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51We're trapped in a tunnel with no light, no fire,
0:24:51 > 0:24:53we've got nothing to eat.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56It just feels like, I don't know, like, the intro to, like,
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Paranormal Activity Seven or Eight or Ten or whatever they're on.
0:24:59 > 0:25:00SINISTER SCORE
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- What the hell happened here? - Oh, my God.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Why is there a destroyed child's chair?
0:25:09 > 0:25:12We're definitely not the first people to come here, that's for sure.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16You know what? This is probably the creepiest place I've ever been to in my life.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18But I have to be hood, I have to be hood.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20If I see a ghost, I'm going to punch it in the face.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22I don't know what this was, it looks like some altar.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I don't know. I think this is a place where they do, like, Satanic stuff.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28You know, like, sacrifice goats and then they, like,
0:25:28 > 0:25:31put S Club 7 on and they all get topless and start dancing for no reason...
0:25:34 > 0:25:37- What does that mean?- That means...
0:25:37 > 0:25:39- Oh, my God.- Blair Witch Project 3.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- That's what it means.- Humza, move your head.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- What is that down there?- What?
0:25:44 > 0:25:45What is that?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48I don't know. Why don't you go and find out?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Who's that?
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Who's that?
0:26:01 > 0:26:02Who's that?
0:26:02 > 0:26:03- Hello!- Buongiorno!
0:26:03 > 0:26:07HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:26:10 > 0:26:11- Er...- What did he say?
0:26:11 > 0:26:15I don't know. Erm, so.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17How are you? Good?
0:26:17 > 0:26:18HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:26:20 > 0:26:22We're lost.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:26:25 > 0:26:27La journee finita and we are lost.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:26:29 > 0:26:33I don't know what's going on right now, but all I know is my man has a
0:26:33 > 0:26:35goat on his back and he's got a gun.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Where... Dove? Dove il fuoco?
0:26:39 > 0:26:40SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:26:40 > 0:26:41Si, si.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46We've planned this so badly,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49we've ended up up a slope we can't get down in the darkness.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52We've got no light, no food, this dude knows the trail, we have no choice.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55- Chill out. OK.- Tell him all Muslims are not terrorists, because he's got
0:26:55 > 0:26:58a gun and he keeps looking at me funny.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59What is that? Is that a goat?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- Oh, my God. That's not a backpack. Have you seen what's on his back? - I...
0:27:02 > 0:27:05That's what I've been telling you! I've been telling you the whole
0:27:05 > 0:27:09- fricking time.- I thought that was a backpack. It's a dead... - It's a fricking goat.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10We are going to die today.
0:27:10 > 0:27:13Like, every minute there's a new death scenario.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18SINISTER SCORE
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Conosci...
0:27:22 > 0:27:23Joe?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Joe? Si. Conosco Jo.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27He knows Joe?
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ah.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31- Oh.- I'm thinking Joe might have sent him.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37THEY SPEAK ITALIAN
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Ah, park warden. Guardian park.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45You can understand that.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48The park...
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Si, ah.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08I'm pretty sure the guy just said
0:28:08 > 0:28:12that he's going to cut out the heart and cook it.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14The goat right next to me?
0:28:14 > 0:28:16He's going to cut his heart out right now?
0:28:16 > 0:28:19While I'm sitting here?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Oh, my God! What is that?
0:28:21 > 0:28:24What is that?
0:28:24 > 0:28:26What is that?
0:28:26 > 0:28:29I can't eat it, it's not halal.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Shall I drop the bombshell now, Humza, or not?
0:28:31 > 0:28:32Yeah.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52This is the first time an Italian has ever cooked without olive oil.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54What's that?
0:28:54 > 0:28:56What is this?
0:28:56 > 0:28:58- Poonani?- Oh. Pulmonary!
0:28:58 > 0:29:00- That's the heart, innit?- No, no, it's the lungs.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- He said pulmonary. - This you eat, ah...
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Cut the head?
0:29:09 > 0:29:12Er... Oh, he's saying...
0:29:12 > 0:29:14You stick it in the... Corner. Yeah, yeah!
0:29:14 > 0:29:17- That's good, that's sick! - Oh, he just... You just high-fived the liver hand.
0:29:17 > 0:29:19That's cool, man, it's fine.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25Time to eat, dinner's ready.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30- OK.- Buon appetito.
0:29:35 > 0:29:36Oh!
0:29:38 > 0:29:40- Sweet. It's dolce.- Dolce...
0:29:45 > 0:29:46Yeah, is it nice?
0:29:46 > 0:29:49- Yeah.- All right.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Do you want to try any of the goat liver?
0:29:55 > 0:29:56No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59Thanks. I am extremely hungry.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02It is cold. I think everyone's cold, not just me.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04And this is not a suitable place to stay.
0:30:04 > 0:30:09Not even Bin Laden wouldn't sleep here. You know what I'm saying?
0:30:10 > 0:30:15What I can't do this evening is take a chance on you sleeping out because
0:30:15 > 0:30:18you would have to stay awake all night, OK?
0:30:18 > 0:30:19- Yeah.- To keep this fire going.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22I've got a tent for you to go and sleep in this evening.
0:30:22 > 0:30:23It's not too far from here.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26You've got sleeping bags in there and you'll be able to sleep safely.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28OK, cool.
0:30:28 > 0:30:33We've done 177 metres today, which feels pathetic, like,
0:30:33 > 0:30:36Usain Bolt could do that in 15 seconds.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38But still...
0:30:38 > 0:30:41We're here. Me and Humza are getting on well.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44There's a lot of good, er, jokes back and forth.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46I know it's a bit disappointing, obviously,
0:30:46 > 0:30:50cos we would like to get a bit further than where we are.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53I don't want to put all the blame on, you know,
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Russell, but I think that definitely, erm,
0:30:55 > 0:30:57Russell's all to blame.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02CLASSICAL MUSIC
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Without meaning to be dramatic,
0:31:04 > 0:31:06we were pulled due to safety reasons.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11Er, it is disappointing, but we've got a tent,
0:31:11 > 0:31:15that's still pretty hardcore, on the side of a mountain.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17Morning.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19Humza, get up, it's gone eight o'clock.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21- No way!- We need to get up, man.
0:31:32 > 0:31:36Hi, guys, morning. The climbing what you have done yesterday,
0:31:36 > 0:31:38I do in half an hour.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Today, you must climb real mountain.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45Your equipment is in your bags, take it, and good luck.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48- What are you like with heights? - I'm not great, to be honest.
0:31:48 > 0:31:49I...
0:31:49 > 0:31:51I don't think I'm really good.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54I genuinely don't think I'm capable of it.
0:31:56 > 0:31:57But I'm going to try.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02Literally, I'm petrified because I really don't think I have it in me
0:32:02 > 0:32:04to climb shit. You were sent the videos about climbing.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07I think we should actually watch it because if we're going to do some
0:32:07 > 0:32:10climbing today, I've had no experience of climbing whatsoever.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13- Yeah, same here.- There's a rock climbing video.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15- OK, let's watch it.- Oh, I can't do that.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Ah. Oh, oh, oh!
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Oh! Oh! Fuck!
0:32:22 > 0:32:23He's... The guy's falling!
0:32:25 > 0:32:27Now I'm even more petrified.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30Hmm... What else have you got here?
0:32:30 > 0:32:31Motivational exercises.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34- Yeah.- And we're just going to push it out...
0:32:34 > 0:32:37Push it out... Push it out...
0:32:37 > 0:32:40- Push it out...- Is this guy taking the piss?
0:32:40 > 0:32:41And why is he dressed as a reindeer?
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Get the knees up.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Get them high, get them high, get them high!
0:32:45 > 0:32:47This is playing havoc.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50Push it down, push down, push it down, push it down...
0:32:50 > 0:32:52That was really, erm...
0:32:52 > 0:32:54motivating. You know?
0:32:54 > 0:32:59So, how's this for a really simple plan of action?
0:32:59 > 0:33:02We stop lying to ourselves and we start climbing up that mountain.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Yeah, I think we just need to, you know...
0:33:05 > 0:33:06just really go for it and just...
0:33:06 > 0:33:09You're right. You know, we don't want to fail, we don't want to look...
0:33:09 > 0:33:11We don't want to look like idiots on TV.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- Same page, bro. You know?- Yeah.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17I'm thinking how we've just got to, you know, stop talking
0:33:17 > 0:33:19and...and...and...and doing it.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21And then we've got that energy. There's no reason not to.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23- Yeah.- It's... We've been here like...
0:33:23 > 0:33:24An hour and a half, by the way.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26I know, trying to... Cos I'm not motivated yet.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29I'm trying to motivate myself, but I can't.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31- You know, I'm just throwing it out there.- Yeah.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34I think, yeah, we should eventually go, though.
0:33:34 > 0:33:35After lunch, probably.
0:33:35 > 0:33:39- Cos we've nearly hit lunchtime. - Yes. Have you seen the Everest?
0:33:39 > 0:33:41I haven't yet, is it good?
0:33:41 > 0:33:43No, it's shit. Most of them die.
0:33:44 > 0:33:48Cool, well, I'll watch that when I get back.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Have you seen Cliffhanger?
0:33:50 > 0:33:53- Yeah, I've seen that.- Yeah, a lot of people die in that, as well.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56Where Stallone hangs on the one finger.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57They did a, erm...
0:33:57 > 0:33:59a parody in Ace Ventura, did you see it?
0:33:59 > 0:34:01The second one. When Nature Calls.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- And he took the piss out of it,
0:34:03 > 0:34:05and the monkey died in that, as well.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07There's just a lot of death, really.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10I don't really think we should be talking about this kind of stuff when
0:34:10 > 0:34:11we're about to climb a mountain.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14Mmm. What about Magic Mike? He strips off and then bones all the women.
0:34:14 > 0:34:18- Does he die?- No. - That's all right. Let's just leave it on a positive.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21- Let's do that, man.- Yes. Magic Mike. - Where's my climbing gear?
0:34:22 > 0:34:25So, I'm up for it.
0:34:25 > 0:34:28- You up for it, yeah?- Humza is scared of heights so this is my opportunity
0:34:28 > 0:34:31to be a leader and make him feel more secure.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33I'm not sure what the stuff in the bag is.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37It's like one metal hoop and a bit of plastic.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39That can't be all we need for getting up the mountain.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42Safety harnesses for climbing or abseiling.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Someone else said it's a Tibetan sex harness.
0:34:50 > 0:34:51Via ferrata.
0:34:51 > 0:34:52Obviously. What's that?
0:34:52 > 0:34:54So, I've said, is that a place?
0:34:54 > 0:34:57I thought maybe it's the name of where we are, and he said it's a technique.
0:34:57 > 0:35:01It's where you do freeform climbing across a rock with ropes.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02Oh, man!
0:35:04 > 0:35:07Someone on Facebook said, I hope your affairs are in order.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10So, I don't think it's the safest thing that we're going to do.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13Russell, I don't think you're going to like this, cos I'm not liking this.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15What is it?
0:35:18 > 0:35:22All I see is just... A lot of fricking rope.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24One that vertical bit?
0:35:24 > 0:35:27- That can't be for us.- Guys, come on, man, I can't do that shit.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29That's ridiculous!
0:35:29 > 0:35:31I'm not doing vertical. I thought we were...
0:35:31 > 0:35:33- Look!- ..going to do like an across thing.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36- No, that's straight up. - Oh, my God.- Oh, my God!
0:35:36 > 0:35:38I'm actually now...
0:35:38 > 0:35:40dreading it.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Hang on a second, there's a notepad hanging off the wall.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48Oh, great. It's in German.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50I thought via ferrata was a place.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52I thought it was just like a different type of pasta.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54Yeah. Erm...
0:35:54 > 0:35:55let's have a look.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59Please be in English. Oh, look. That's right where we are, look!
0:35:59 > 0:36:01No way.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06- OK, so it wasn't in this bag.- It's in fricking Italian.
0:36:06 > 0:36:12If you look... You're sort of climbing but you're secured to the rope with a clip.
0:36:12 > 0:36:13So, if you...
0:36:13 > 0:36:16I suppose if you... The idea is if you fall, you're just suspended.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- Yeah.- Well, they've got little ladder things,
0:36:19 > 0:36:21but I guess we're supposed to use the rocks as ladders, yeah?
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Yeah. I can't believe we're doing this!
0:36:24 > 0:36:25All right.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28This is actually crazy.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49I should just say that we've had to do this for insurance purposes.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51I was up for doing it on my own, so...
0:36:51 > 0:36:52- Red tape.- Me, too.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57In theory, we should be able to lean back on these.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59I don't feel very secure!
0:36:59 > 0:37:02So, you can try it and then I'll see if it works.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05So, it should be like a... It's like a seatbelt with the sudden movement!
0:37:05 > 0:37:07Yeah, there you go. No, I'm just saying, look it works.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09- Try yours, then.- No, cos we already know...
0:37:09 > 0:37:10Try it!
0:37:10 > 0:37:13- All right.- You should be able to lean back like...
0:37:13 > 0:37:16- Oh, my God.- Ah!
0:37:16 > 0:37:18- Fuck that. - Look at that.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21Right, so, that's how it'll feel to be suspended...
0:37:21 > 0:37:23only with a bit more weight.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26I genuinely don't know I can do it.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Listen, this is what I think we should do.
0:37:29 > 0:37:33- Go home.- I just want to try the first couple of metres and see how it feels.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36- So, even if it's just that first bit.- Yeah.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42What do you think my chances are, mate?
0:37:42 > 0:37:44Yeah, erm... Yeah, no, I think you're...
0:37:44 > 0:37:45I think you're going to do it.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52The worst that can happen, if you've got the chains on,
0:37:52 > 0:37:55is that I lose my confidence and humiliate myself.
0:37:58 > 0:38:01It's a common misconception that climbing's all about strength in your arms.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04But your legs are much stronger than your arms and you want to
0:38:04 > 0:38:06exploit this as much as possible when climbing.
0:38:06 > 0:38:10On vertical or slabbed walls, try to keep your hips in close to the wall.
0:38:10 > 0:38:13This will help you more efficiently get your weight on your feet and off
0:38:13 > 0:38:17your arms. This method helps you stay in control and stops you swinging around
0:38:17 > 0:38:19and wasting energy.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24This is just not my thing.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26It really isn't.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34- You should see the view.- No.
0:38:34 > 0:38:35Oh, my God!
0:38:40 > 0:38:43I don't know why, but I'm starting to really enjoy this.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45I know we've got to get to the top of the mountain,
0:38:45 > 0:38:48I know that's our mission and my mind wants to do it, but my heart is
0:38:48 > 0:38:50- wavering now.- No, you can do it now, man.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Trust me.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54I don't even want to know how high we are.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56All right, I'm going to move a bit forward.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Oh, Christ, this is terrifying, Humza.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05There, well done. That's cool.
0:39:06 > 0:39:07Nice. That's a short cut.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11This is actually so cool though, innit?
0:39:11 > 0:39:12- Yeah, really cool.- Yeah!
0:39:12 > 0:39:13- We've changed.- Huh?
0:39:13 > 0:39:16You've gone up for it and I've gone to not up for it.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Yeah. No, no, bruv, you're smashing it, you're doing sick anyway.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21All right, let's go.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23Can I just point at something?
0:39:23 > 0:39:26- Yeah?- Just look at that corner.
0:39:26 > 0:39:27- What?- What is that?
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Look where the rope disappears out of sight.
0:39:30 > 0:39:31What is that?
0:39:33 > 0:39:35- That?- Look, it carries on round the corner.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38- How are we going to get round that? - Oh, shit.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40Let's just go for it, fuck it.
0:39:43 > 0:39:44We've got to worry about time, as well.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47- Yeah, I know.- Do you want me to check what time it is?
0:39:47 > 0:39:50Hold on. So, what time did the sun go down yesterday?
0:39:50 > 0:39:52- 4:30.- OK.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55I'm going to be straight with you.
0:39:55 > 0:39:57It's 2:30.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Do you genuinely believe that we can't do this?
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Cos I genuinely believe we can do it.
0:40:01 > 0:40:02We've done, like, two hours already.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04So, we need to get through this.
0:40:04 > 0:40:05All right.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17Holy F. How am I going to get up that, seriously?
0:40:19 > 0:40:20I've got a baby!
0:40:20 > 0:40:23That's it. No, you smashed it. Bang!
0:40:27 > 0:40:30That is the scariest, most dangerous near-death thing I've ever done
0:40:30 > 0:40:33in my life. That was horrible.
0:40:33 > 0:40:34But I'm proud of myself.
0:40:35 > 0:40:36Now, do a selfie.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40That's a sick one.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53Let me tell you something, this has been crazy, I mean, watch this...
0:40:56 > 0:40:58So, now running out of time on our last day,
0:40:58 > 0:41:01we're not staying over tonight. We've got no choice
0:41:01 > 0:41:02but to track it on foot.
0:41:02 > 0:41:05So, I'm hoping it's somewhere over there.
0:41:13 > 0:41:14We are not far.
0:41:32 > 0:41:33It's that one.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- That's our mountain?- Yeah.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39Cool.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43I don't want to go back home and everyone's like, "Oh, yeah,
0:41:43 > 0:41:46"I saw you on the programme with the tall white man.
0:41:46 > 0:41:47- "You failed the mission."- Tall?
0:41:47 > 0:41:49That's the kindest thing you've said all week.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52Do you know what I've decided about mountaineering?
0:41:52 > 0:41:53It's shit?
0:41:53 > 0:41:55It is. But...
0:41:55 > 0:41:57the thought of getting there...
0:41:57 > 0:42:01- That's what's driving us on, man! - ..is exciting.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Up through here, look, there's more of a path.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07- You all right, Russell?- Yeah, I think so.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14I'm trying to look at the rock climbing video, OK?
0:42:14 > 0:42:16OK, Russell. Great time to do it.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18It is, actually.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21Oh, shit. There's three golden rules.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24Number one - don't use your phone while climbing a mountain!
0:42:24 > 0:42:27OK, Russell, I don't want you to be alarmed,
0:42:27 > 0:42:28but look on your right side.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31BIRDS SQUAWK
0:42:31 > 0:42:33I'm alive, I'm alive!
0:42:33 > 0:42:35I'm still alive, you shit!
0:42:35 > 0:42:38I don't want to be eaten by crows.
0:42:38 > 0:42:41Not far left, Russell, keep it up.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43Those crows are still following, you know?
0:42:49 > 0:42:51There's a lot of loose rocks here, guys, be careful.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54That looks fricking horrible.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59Come on, Russell, you can do it.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02- Right, if you fall, I will carry on for both of us.- Yeah.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06Don't die now. You'll bring my mood down.
0:43:09 > 0:43:14- Is this the top? Are we at the top? We've done it. Yeah!- Woo!
0:43:14 > 0:43:17- Reached the summit!- Yeah, boy!
0:43:17 > 0:43:19With no skills, just the phone.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22Come here, man. Yeah! Well done, man.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24- It's actually just... - I knew I was amazing!
0:43:24 > 0:43:25I knew I was amazing!
0:43:25 > 0:43:26# Check 'em out, check 'em out
0:43:26 > 0:43:28# Less of New York, less of the South
0:43:28 > 0:43:30# Too complex at the best of times
0:43:30 > 0:43:32# Check 'em out! #
0:43:32 > 0:43:33Ooh, yeah.
0:43:33 > 0:43:35- All right.- I'm tired now.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37- Amazing, man.- Well done, man.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39I love you, man!
0:43:39 > 0:43:41- Amazing.- This is wicked, man.
0:43:41 > 0:43:43What a feeling!
0:43:43 > 0:43:44What a feeling!
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Oh, my God. We've completed the mission.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50Don't you think there's one person we should tell?
0:43:50 > 0:43:52- Joe!- That was the whole reason.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
0:43:54 > 0:43:58I'm going to text him. There's only one thing you can do at a time like this...
0:43:58 > 0:44:00selfie!
0:44:00 > 0:44:01- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07- Cool.- Nice one.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12OK, I've got a text.
0:44:12 > 0:44:14He said, "On my way."
0:44:14 > 0:44:16What is that noise?
0:44:18 > 0:44:19What?
0:44:21 > 0:44:23HELICOPTER APPROACHES
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Oh...my God!
0:44:26 > 0:44:31Oh! Brap, brap, brap, brap, brap brap!
0:44:31 > 0:44:34That is sick!
0:44:34 > 0:44:36I can't believe this.
0:44:36 > 0:44:38- He's in a chopper. - This is crazy. Look.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40This is a chopper.
0:44:46 > 0:44:47Woo!
0:44:47 > 0:44:49Woo!
0:44:49 > 0:44:52Yeah, we're getting rescued! Woo!
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Well, I'm pretty sure there's only space for us two,
0:44:59 > 0:45:02so you lot have to just chill. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Build a shelter.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04- Yeah.- Obviously, use your phone, cos it helps.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Remember about drinking your own piss.
0:45:06 > 0:45:11Yeah? Yeah, drink your own piss. Bear Grylls does that. It'll be fun. It'll be fun.
0:45:35 > 0:45:36I'll show you again.
0:45:38 > 0:45:39Wrong mountain!
0:45:42 > 0:45:43- Where's the door?- No door.
0:45:48 > 0:45:50You haven't closed the door!
0:45:50 > 0:45:51- Huh?- Haven't got a door.
0:45:51 > 0:45:54Close the fucking door!
0:45:54 > 0:45:55Wow!
0:45:55 > 0:45:57There's no door!
0:45:57 > 0:45:59BOTH SCREAM
0:45:59 > 0:46:01OK, you are happy when I close the door?
0:46:01 > 0:46:04- Yes, door.- We close the door now. - No, keep it open.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12OK, let's go.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14- Woo!- Agh!
0:46:14 > 0:46:16BOTH SCREAM
0:46:16 > 0:46:20Whoa! Oh, my God!
0:46:20 > 0:46:22That is wicked!
0:46:23 > 0:46:24That was great.
0:46:28 > 0:46:30How do you feel about how we've done?
0:46:30 > 0:46:31I think it was amazing.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33What about you?
0:46:33 > 0:46:35For me...
0:46:35 > 0:46:37the mission was just...
0:46:37 > 0:46:40the starting point. The stuff we've done...
0:46:40 > 0:46:41even when we've failed...
0:46:41 > 0:46:43when we've fallen down,
0:46:43 > 0:46:46when we've been evacuated and we've cheated here and there,
0:46:46 > 0:46:49we've gone three steps backwards to go four steps forward,
0:46:49 > 0:46:51I feel we've built as people.
0:46:51 > 0:46:52We faced fears...
0:46:52 > 0:46:56- Yeah.- We've grown as men, and most important of all,
0:46:56 > 0:47:00we've completed the mission and THAT is something to celebrate.
0:47:00 > 0:47:03Well, we didn't complete the mission cos...
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Joe told us it was the wrong mountain.
0:47:07 > 0:47:09Yeah. Shall we go get some food?
0:47:09 > 0:47:11- Yeah, let's go, man. - I'm not taking the bags.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13Yeah, forget the bags, not our problem.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15Oh. Ah, this way.
0:47:15 > 0:47:17- Where are we?- Yeah, where are we?
0:47:17 > 0:47:19Can't just drop us off in a fricking forest.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22That's what we should have asked Joe - is where we were.