0:00:02 > 0:00:05For centuries, explorers have battled with Mother Nature.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Now, pampered comedian Russell Kane...
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Argh! It's freezing!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11..wants to join their ranks...
0:00:11 > 0:00:14- I miss my mum. - ..by tackling extreme survival...
0:00:14 > 0:00:17- Ah.- ..with just...
0:00:17 > 0:00:20- This.- ..a mobile phone?
0:00:20 > 0:00:23"How to find water in the desert."
0:00:23 > 0:00:24I use my phone for everything...
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Turn the choke all the way down.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28It's got billions of users round the world.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30The web has all the answers.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33It's here on the map. That's it there!
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Joined by the internet's brightest stars...
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Oh, my God, I'm a Jedi! - ..and their legions of followers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40It's going to get physical.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43I don't think the production team are always going to be
0:00:43 > 0:00:44taking it that easy on us.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Together they'll face the worst that nature can throw at them.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52- Careful!- I just want to know that, if we get bitten by something,
0:00:52 > 0:00:53we've got the antidote.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Oh, God. Yeah, the team will ensure that we're safe
0:00:55 > 0:00:58and that we always have internet reception.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00They're accompanied by a barely helpful crew...
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Please, come on, guys.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04..who'll be throwing in the odd curveball.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06The doors don't close!
0:01:06 > 0:01:07They'll use their signal...
0:01:07 > 0:01:09We've got a bag of poo.
0:01:09 > 0:01:10..for survival.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13- "Light the bag." Who said that? - Yes. Oh!
0:01:13 > 0:01:14I love you, internet.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16- This time...- I hate this.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- I hate it!- ..it's internet versus frozen forest,
0:01:21 > 0:01:24as Russell is joined by YouTube heart-throb Mazzi Maz.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I am a banana! Woohoo!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30They'll be on the run, evading a crack team of manhunters...
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Don't be stupid!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34..in a remote corner of Poland.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Yeah!
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Godspeed, stupid man.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03This is it. I think that's where he said to meet,
0:02:03 > 0:02:05at Wal Pomorski.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15It's a little bit Communist.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18It's a little bit 1940s pre-Communism.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19This place has got so much history.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21It's got more history than my internet browser,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23and that is packed full of history.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29There he is.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- How you doing? - I'm very well. How are you?
0:02:37 > 0:02:39You made it. Thanks for doing this.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Let's hug for longer, it's cold, man.- Don't ever let me go.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- Good to have you here. - Thank you, man.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- Thanks for having me.- All I know is we've got to wait here.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- Mm-hmm.- We're either going to get a text or someone's going to tell us
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- where to go.- OK.- What the mission's going to be, I don't know.
0:02:51 > 0:02:52The one thing I do know is
0:02:52 > 0:02:54we're going to have to use these phones to survive.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57That is the mission. And that's why you're here because you live...
0:02:57 > 0:03:01- you live the internet. - Yeah. Yeah, the internet's my home.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04RUSSELL CHUCKLES
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- Who's that?- Oh, God.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11He means business, mate. He's cutting it.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Hiya.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18We're, erm... We're doing something for the BBC.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22We've got permits, we've got everything we should have.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36The what?
0:03:44 > 0:03:47OK. Can you just say it again?
0:03:47 > 0:03:51You have to get to Borne Sulinowo Tank Memorial.
0:04:01 > 0:04:02What?
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- Oh, God.- So, wait there. We have to get to this place while you're
0:04:07 > 0:04:09- pursuing us? - Yeah.- That's the mission?
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Thank you.
0:04:28 > 0:04:29I'm very intimidated right now.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41RUSSELL GULPS
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- Start.- Put your backpack on.
0:04:46 > 0:04:47Put it on.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Hold on! Hold on! I can't...
0:04:51 > 0:04:53We haven't got time for this, man!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Where's my hand luggage?
0:04:55 > 0:04:57I've got a concealer stick in that.
0:04:58 > 0:04:59Don't be stupid.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04- How do you know the way?- Come, come!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Right. My zip.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Jesus.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Russell, don't be slowing me down, bro!
0:05:21 > 0:05:22It's not necessarily quicker to run.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Sometimes it's quicker to stop, use the phone and then run.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Well, first, let's get up here,
0:05:26 > 0:05:28let's get some fricking ground on them.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31They look like amateurs.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Just leave me. Just... Just throw stones down
0:05:33 > 0:05:34and I'll follow your trail.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37They can meet wolf,
0:05:37 > 0:05:39wild boars and even wild dogs.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Look at the size of that print.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43That's like a wolf, man.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47To be honest with you, I don't think wolves are the problem,
0:05:47 > 0:05:49it's those dudes.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52They're idiots and I think they're doomed here.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59We need to get to Borne Sulinowo.
0:05:59 > 0:06:00'Looking.'
0:06:02 > 0:06:04'I could not find any places matching "boring silly noble".'
0:06:04 > 0:06:07"Boring silly noble"?
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Wait, wait. You're not saying it right. It's the accent.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13"Tank Memorial."
0:06:13 > 0:06:15I got it! Borne Sulinowo.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17We'll go a little bit further that way in the wrong direction
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- just so we have... - And then we'll make a cheeky left.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Look, and you see we'll go back round through the forest.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Let's just do it. Let's just do it.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25I can't do this standing still stuff, man.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Come on, Russell. Let's go.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41You got to keep up, man.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Let's take five here. Let's take five.- Get down, bro.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Get down, get down, get down. - We'll take five here.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58- Right.- OK. - This might help us, it might not,
0:06:58 > 0:07:01but I've just pulled up a website on how to evade the police...
0:07:01 > 0:07:06- Yes.- We've got to navigate through heavily populated areas.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07Like, there's a town called Klomino.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08- Yeah.- At the moment,
0:07:08 > 0:07:12I'm wearing all black but you stand out like a sore thumb with all that
0:07:12 > 0:07:15red. Wait, let me just pull up this climate camouflage tutorial.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Hello, this is Scott from the LivingHistorySchool
0:07:18 > 0:07:21and today we're going to talk about natural camouflage. Yeah!
0:07:22 > 0:07:24This video might as well be called,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26"What happens when a wife leaves a man."
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Mosses and lichens make excellent camouflage.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Mosses and lichens.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33The other thing is just to look up at the natural environment.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36See how there's lots of lights and darks, shades of green?
0:07:36 > 0:07:40OK. What I'm gathering from this video, bro,
0:07:40 > 0:07:42we need to spot the environment we're in,
0:07:42 > 0:07:45take a good look at it and then match ourselves towards that.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Right.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51We might have to wear the jacket.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53How you going to stick it to yourself?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55We've you got knives in the bag, so why don't we just...
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- Ah.- Make... - Put holes in the clothes.
0:07:57 > 0:07:58- Make incisions.- Oh, mate.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Mate.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Do you want the knife?- Yeah.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06# Yeah, yeah, yeah... #
0:08:10 > 0:08:14It's really stingy with the pine next to your face, isn't it?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I am a tree.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17I need some mud.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- Eh, I'm so glad I didn't shave. - PHONE ALERT
0:08:36 > 0:08:38- It's like an extra bit of camo. - Point me out in case they can't
0:08:38 > 0:08:41see me in the background. That's me.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44- Oh, they're pursuing.- Really? - That's it. That's three hours, man.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47I've got so much stuff, I'm running a bit camp.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55We're leaving, like, the longest trail behind.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Where are we on the map? This would be a good point to cut
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- through the woods.- Yeah, I think we should cut through these woods.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Keep the compass open, then,
0:09:02 > 0:09:05because you know we've got to head north west to Klomino.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Through the woods!
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I wish I'd eaten more at my final meal.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40We've got...
0:09:40 > 0:09:42How much more light have we got?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44We have...
0:09:44 > 0:09:464pm. Right, we've got 45 minutes till sunset.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- OK.- Not that there's any sun to fricking set.- So, we have 45 minutes
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- to get to Klomino. - We can do it easily.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53So that's all the more reason to get into Klomino.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55- All right, OK. - Blend in with the locals.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57We might have to change what we're wearing.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58We might have to change what
0:09:58 > 0:10:04- we're wearing.- Find some food. - Let's do it.- Let's go into town.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22All right, I just tweeted, "Is anyone from Klomino?"
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Someone's just said I look like a feral Robin Hood.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- Someone's just tweeted. - What does it say?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29"It's a ghost town, bro."
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- What?- Like, no-one's here.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34That is Klomino right there.
0:10:34 > 0:10:39So, the area was abandoned ever since the Soviet Union left, 1992.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43We're trying to hide amongst the population
0:10:43 > 0:10:45and we've picked a fricking ghost town.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50No wonder no-one's replying on Twitter from,
0:10:50 > 0:10:52"Who lives in Klomino?" No-one does.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57This is insane.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00We've got ourselves stranded in a town that's a ghost town.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01No-one lives here.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05If it wasn't for the fact that we are being chased
0:11:05 > 0:11:09by really aggressive guys with a dog, I'd be into this.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11We've got sunset in 15 minutes, Maz.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12- Yeah.- We need shelter.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Can I really not persuade you to duck into one of these?
0:11:18 > 0:11:19What, inside one of these things?
0:11:19 > 0:11:20- In one of those.- Nah, man.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25I know we're being chased and that but this ain't safe.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28How long is it since the alarm went off for the dog pursuers?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Like a while, a while ago.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51What about this one? Look. That looks a bit more stable.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Come on, Maz, try it. Probably locked anyway.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57- Oh, I don't know, bro. - Let me try it. It's open.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58- Whoa.- Oh, it's a shadow.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Did you see that? I shit myself!
0:12:01 > 0:12:03It's just a shadow, it's just a shadow.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Oh, my gosh. Hello?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11What the hell? It's a toilet, yes!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Hello, look at this one. This was fully someone's home once.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Look at this! - This place is dingy, man.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19This is bleak.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Oh, my God, there's kid's stuff on this door.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24IMAGINARY CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Just keep looking out for stuff we can use.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31It's locked. There's rooms that are still locked.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Hello? I don't know what that is. - What?
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Is it... Is it opened?- No.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Some of it's... Some of it's spoiled and empty but these...
0:12:42 > 0:12:44I don't know what's in them but...
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Let's get all the good stuff and let's see what we've got.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49What the hell is in here? I dread to think.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Oh, my gosh, it's getting scarier.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58I don't know what kind of party went on here
0:12:58 > 0:13:01but if it involves an armless doll and tuna, I don't want to go.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I really don't feel like we're alone up here, do you?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11We're hiding in the top of a derelict building
0:13:11 > 0:13:12in north Poland, erm...
0:13:12 > 0:13:15being hunted for by dogs and security.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16It's as bad as it sounds.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18This place is like crack den, Blair Witch -
0:13:18 > 0:13:20it's all of your worst nightmares.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22- Crack in this corner as well. - But we're not looking for sympathy.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24What we're looking for is practical advice.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27"There's a ghost." Please, don't. You're not helping, Jess.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29People have got a problem with us being in
0:13:29 > 0:13:31the loft cos we're trapping ourselves at the top.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Thank you, Dan. Thank you. Who's that?
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- I can hear a car.- OK guys, thanks very much for helping.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39We've got to go. Thank you.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42(Get out.)
0:13:42 > 0:13:43(Go, go.)
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- RUSSELL KICKS SOMETHING - Oh, I'm so sorry!
0:13:58 > 0:14:01SIREN BLARES
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- OVER TANNOY:- We know you're in here. Come out.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09It's the police! It's the police!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11You've been hunted down.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Hello?
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Hello?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Oh, God, I'm shitting myself.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44We know you're here.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45- There they are.- Come out.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51We need to get out of here, man.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54We're trapped in this room. Go, go, go!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07DOOR SLAMS
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Do you want us just to stand still for a second?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Thank God we didn't stay in the loft.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33We'd have been absolute toast up there.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34Honest, man.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44If someone hadn't have suggested,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46"Get out of the loft," during that chat...
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Thank God for David Streams from Southend.
0:15:52 > 0:15:53Maz, check this out.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57This one's looking the best of a bad bunch.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00- No way, there's a fireplace. - Yes, we can start a fire.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02NOW we can start a fire.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04So, I've... I've tweeted out,
0:16:04 > 0:16:07"Does anyone have any urban-survival advice?"
0:16:07 > 0:16:09- Yeah. - "We're in a derelict building."
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- Yeah.- There's some jokers out there. "Order a takeaway." "Go to a hotel."
0:16:14 > 0:16:15I've got a Skype contact here.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Someone who's saying he's into survival.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19Let's give them a call.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- SKYPE DIAL TONE - Yo! This guy looks militant!
0:16:21 > 0:16:23He's got the gun and everything.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- Yes, brother.- Hello. - Hello.- I'm Russell. This is Maz.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- How you doing, man?- And, erm... Thanks for responding online.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31It's going to get a bit cold in here, -2, -3.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33What's the best way to warm this room up?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35We've got a fireplace there but how do we do it?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Right, well your main problem with the fire is going to be getting it
0:16:38 > 0:16:40started in the first place. Now, you have to have a look around.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Is there anything you think you could start a fire with?- Oh.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46We have some stuff in this bag, you know.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49Well, there's cardboard... There's cardboard all over the flat.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- We've got batteries.- Batteries? What can you do with that?
0:16:51 > 0:16:53Is there a kitchen nearby that you could...
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Yeah, there's like old stuff all over it.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58You could go in the kitchen, have a look for some steel wool.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- That's really useful.- How does the steel wool and batteries create
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- a flame?- So, when you touch the nine-volt battery
0:17:03 > 0:17:05with the steel wool, it will conduct through
0:17:05 > 0:17:07and, just like a fuse would in your house,
0:17:07 > 0:17:09- it would burn through.- Ah. Right, OK, cool. How old are you?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- I'm 15 at the minute.- 15!- What?!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14If the shit hits the fan, can we call you back?
0:17:14 > 0:17:15If you want to, any time.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- Thank you very much, Sam.- We'll definitely be tapping you up again.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Thank you.- Thank you. - Bye.- Let's go do it.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Is there any cupboards in any of the rooms?
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Can you remember when we were running around frantically earlier?
0:17:27 > 0:17:28I think downstairs, you know.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30CLATTERING
0:17:30 > 0:17:33This is like the worst shopping spree I've ever been on.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- POLISH ACCENT:- Welcome to Polish Supermarket Sweep.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Mate, we've got the whole place to search, like,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- I wouldn't waste time in there. - Maz, the floor...
0:17:39 > 0:17:41is covered with stuff in here.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Ah. Oh, bro.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Yes, yes. Look at this.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Found some? No way!
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- Steel wool, man.- Well done.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53I can't see how it's going to work.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- We'll use this.- Careful, mate, it might be really flammable.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- Yeah! It's working! - It's working! Whoa.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01What you talking about?
0:18:02 > 0:18:03Now, look at that, look at that.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- That's what I'm talking about. - It's starting to warm up already.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- We made a fire.- I can't believe it.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13Like, we've gone from zero to flame just from Skyping someone.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17I absolutely rule. Because of my adrenaline I'm only just starting to
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- notice now how hungry I am. - Yeah. We don't have a tin opener.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- It's a mystery what's in it. - Oh, OK, I've found a YouTube video.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25OK, that was quick.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27I'm going to utilise the concrete behind me and file
0:18:27 > 0:18:30this lip down, allowing the lid to pop off freely.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Looks simple enough. Just got to rub a tin on a hard surface.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41- There you go. - How hard could that be?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I'm burning more calories than I'm going to get out of the tin.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56I got a bit of juice coming out of this, not even joking.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58When you start to smell it and see it,
0:18:58 > 0:19:01you go into like this animal frenzy, don't you?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Oh, my God, I'm so nearly in here.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14Yes! Maz, look at that. 100% mantelpiece open.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Unbelievable.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- What is it? Spam?- No, I don't know.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- Is it Spam?- That is so far from being the animal it once was.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26We need all the energy we can get.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Slam that on the fire and get it going, man.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Let's go.- I can't imagine Bear Grylls putting up with this crap.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40He would've... He would have hunted a wild Spam.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Bear Grylls would be sleeping outside.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45All right, are we really going to eat this?
0:19:50 > 0:19:52It's just like...what I imagine cat food to taste like.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57We have fed ourselves on data.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- Yeah.- We're topped up.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02When you haven't eaten in so long, anything will do.
0:20:05 > 0:20:06Maz, we've got food, warmth and shelter.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- We do.- We need to get some rest.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10- Yeah, man.- I can't even think, I'm so tired.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- All right, then, bro.- Let's bed down in here, yeah?- Yeah, man.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- Well done today, mate.- Night, bro.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21No, seriously, you've kept me going.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Sleep tight, man.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Maz, wake up.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05MAZ GRUMBLES
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Did you not sleep well?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11Really? I slept great.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13The floor's so hard.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Do you think so? I thought it was quite nice.
0:21:15 > 0:21:19I've actually overheated in these sleeping bags in -5.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Hey, the fire's still going.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22I know.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Someone said, "Why are you still there after sunrise?
0:21:32 > 0:21:33"You should have left at first light."
0:21:33 > 0:21:36I didn't even think of that. We're sort of sat around with a neon arrow
0:21:36 > 0:21:39going, "We're here." Dude, we need to pack up and go.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43We've got to do this all again today.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Again. I'm checking out.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46See you guys soon.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Right, let's go, man. Come on. Hurry up.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58All right.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01He's saying we should gather what we can find,
0:22:01 > 0:22:04anything useful in this area while we're still here.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Oh, wow. I've never been in a building this derelict.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14- This is next level. - I'm taking photos, brother.- Nothing.
0:22:14 > 0:22:15Nothing, nothing, nothing.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- Nothing in there?- Oh, look, there's a giant penis on the wall.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Nice. Just wait.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21What's that?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Might be able to use that for something.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Maz, come on, man, get a bit of pace on.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33- These look pretty useful. - We can cook on these.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36If we get a fire going, we can cook on them.
0:22:36 > 0:22:37PHONE VIBRATES
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Are you getting a phone call?
0:22:40 > 0:22:41Hello.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Hello.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53It's a shame you didn't get us yesterday
0:22:53 > 0:22:55when we successfully evaded you. Move. Move, move, move, move.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Right, he's on to us and I've just really annoyed him.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- All right, let's go. - Move. Move.- I have an idea.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04We should use these as camouflage, right?
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Yeah.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09There you go. So, we'll be able to hide nicely.
0:23:10 > 0:23:12We need to get moving, man.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15I think we have to head this way.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Just trod on my own camouflage.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Look, so what's in there?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Ha-ha! Ha!
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Are you kidding? You've got to be shitting me!
0:23:34 > 0:23:35Are you insane?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Are you insane?
0:23:39 > 0:23:42- What is this? Like an old soviet bike or something?- Yeah.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Erm...Maz, Maz, Maz, Maz.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Oh, God.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Huh?
0:24:05 > 0:24:08- Maz, you should have camouflaged. - Do you speak Polish?
0:24:08 > 0:24:09- Oh, no, English.- English.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13Hello, I'm Russell, nice to meet you.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16We're doing an experiment in Poland, friend of the UK.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20We are trying to survive for three days using only our smartphones.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Is this your bike? Would you be able to help us?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I don't understand.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27We'll translate. I have some Polish fans.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Bear with me.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33- All right.- Are you just calling a girl that you know in Poland?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- Hello?- Hello.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Hello, it's Maz from Twitter.
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Oh, hi, Maz.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Basically, we've ran into someone and I need you to help me translate.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Yeah, of course. I will help you.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Basically, I need you to ask this guy, "Is this his bike?"
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Hello.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- No way.- Jackpot.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Thank you very much. That's very generous.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03- Thanks, man.- Thank you. - Are you...are you a hunter?
0:25:03 > 0:25:05What's that gun...the gun for?
0:25:05 > 0:25:09The guy, he is here because he's hunting in the area.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- Has he found anything? - He has a rabbit.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Are you kidding? - It's a bit awkward
0:25:14 > 0:25:17but would we be able to trade something for the rabbit?
0:25:17 > 0:25:23Guys, he said that if it will help you out, he can give you the rabbit.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24- Yes!- You will have to skin it yourself
0:25:24 > 0:25:26- because it's not skinned. - We can deal with that.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Thanks very much, man, that is big. Oh, my God, that's heavy.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32It's the size of a cat. That's big. Thank you very much.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34He's given us a rabbit for dinner.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Nice.- How do you say thank you in Polish?
0:25:36 > 0:25:39- Dziekuje Ci.- Dziekuje Ci.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- Nie ma za co. - Thank you very much.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- I wish you luck. - I'm glad we bumped into you.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46- Aw!- We got a rabbit. Yes, mate. Thank you, bye-bye.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50- Thank you very much.- I can't believe we got away with that.- Wicked.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53- Do you know what model it is? - Yes, it's the Enfield.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- Oh, this is an En... This is an Enfield bike?- Yeah.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57How to kick-start a Royal Enfield 500 Classic.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59That's... Bro, look.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03This is a 2001 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 and that
0:26:03 > 0:26:05right there is the tickler valve.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I've found that if you just push it down one time before you start it,
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- it starts up real good.- Bang.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- Where?- Tickler valve. - Where, where, where, where, where?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13I'll demonstrate the kick-start procedure now.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15The tickler valve. The key in the ignition.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17Nah, we just need the tickler valve.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Oh, you have to turn the fuel on there.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21- Where? Ah, I see.- Turn that to plus.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23- Where, where, where? This? - That, yeah.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24- A-ha!- Turn the choke all the way on.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Oh, the choke. Turn the choke all the way down.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31OK. Hold on. I've got to pump this once or twice.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32The carburettor is pumped.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35- Choke is down.- Yeah.- Fuel is on.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37- Now try it. Yes, mate! - ENGINE STARTS
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Go on! Yes, go on!
0:26:41 > 0:26:43I love you, internet.
0:26:45 > 0:26:46I'm like the real boys.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48I've never been on a motorbike in my life.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50- Never?- Never been on one. - Do you want to drive?- No.
0:26:50 > 0:26:51MAZ LAUGHS
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Do you know how to drive a bike? - Yeah.- Oh, my good God.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01- Oh!- Aww!
0:27:01 > 0:27:03HE STALLS MAZ LAUGHS
0:27:05 > 0:27:06We moved this much!
0:27:08 > 0:27:11- Yeah!- Maz, please promise you'll go slowly.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I promise. - BIKE STALLS
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- Oh, God. Oh!- I'm so confused.
0:27:19 > 0:27:20BIKE STALLS
0:27:22 > 0:27:26- Nothing's working.- The key to survival is the mentality, brother.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30ENGINE STUTTERS
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Shit.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37Oh, shit!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Argh!
0:27:45 > 0:27:46Ugh.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49They'll never catch us on this thing.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51- Innit?- They certainly won't catch us alive.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59I hate this. I hate it!
0:27:59 > 0:28:01# Come on... #
0:28:01 > 0:28:02Wa-hey!
0:28:07 > 0:28:08Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Oh. I genuinely hurt.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19It is getting dark. The temperatures are going to drop hard, bro.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20We need shelter.
0:28:28 > 0:28:31- What's the plan, then, Russell? - Find us some shelter.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33That's my priority. Seriously, I can't feel my hands.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35All right, let me pull over.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39I'm just going to wait for my legs to start working again.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41- It'll be about half an hour. - Yeah?- I'll catch you up.
0:28:41 > 0:28:42OK, I'm going to jump off.
0:28:42 > 0:28:45I think it froze when I wee-d myself when we hit that bump.
0:28:45 > 0:28:46Are you going to eat the rabbit?
0:28:46 > 0:28:50- Yeah. Oh, my God, it's gone stiff. - Rigor mortis has kicked in.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Urgh! Is that cos it's frozen or rigor...?
0:28:52 > 0:28:55- I don't know. - Oh! It's a bit of both.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58- It's a little bit of both there. - So messed up!
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Got to respect this dude. He's given a life for our dinner.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03Right, I'm going to try and respect...
0:29:03 > 0:29:05respect it even though I just made an...
0:29:05 > 0:29:06Oh, my God, why won't it stop bleeding?
0:29:06 > 0:29:08It's been dead for ages.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- It's horrible to...- Just throw him over your shoulder.
0:29:11 > 0:29:15It's weird. This really makes you... think twice about eating meat.
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Yeah.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20We just need to find somewhere we can make a fire.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23- Just go in a little bit. - Oh, up here. Here looks good.
0:29:25 > 0:29:28Oh, God. What the hell is that?
0:29:28 > 0:29:30- Ah!- There's a little door in.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33My gosh. It is very legit.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Do you reckon that's safe to go in?
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Only thing is...there's a hole in the roof clearly.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41- Are you kidding?- Let's get out of here, Russell.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45There might be other buildings.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52- Is that someone's house?- Holy smoke.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55It's like before just bigger.
0:29:55 > 0:29:56- What is it? Is it concrete?- Yeah.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Go... It's warm down there, you know.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00- What is it, though? - Feel the heat on your face
0:30:00 > 0:30:02when you put it down there.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06It might be heat from some, like, chemical or something.
0:30:06 > 0:30:07It's buried in the ground. It's a bunker.
0:30:07 > 0:30:09"Soviet bunkers...
0:30:10 > 0:30:13"..Poland."
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Yeah, look, look, there's pictures of them.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17"Ghost town, bunkers, nuclear-rocket storage.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20"The soviets left some places that were originally never meant to be
0:30:20 > 0:30:22"discovered." "Cities that do not exist.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24"Polish...Poland's biggest secrets."
0:30:24 > 0:30:25It's an old nuclear...
0:30:25 > 0:30:28paranoid nuclear bunker that they built when they thought the world
0:30:28 > 0:30:30was going to explode at the touch of a button.
0:30:34 > 0:30:35- How far's the drop?- It's not far.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39History, I'm about to enter you.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41MAZ LAUGHS
0:30:41 > 0:30:42Nothing more.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46I'm going to casualty, I can feel it.
0:30:46 > 0:30:47This is cool!
0:30:48 > 0:30:49Oh, wow!
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Look at this.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55This screams Area 51.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57- There's lots of little rooms in there.- Wow.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00How far does this go?
0:31:00 > 0:31:01This is insane.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05That's legit, man.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08Even if they get in here, do you know how easy it would be to hide
0:31:08 > 0:31:11from them in here? There's so many nooks and crannies.
0:31:11 > 0:31:12Oh, you're right.
0:31:13 > 0:31:15The soviets left these places and
0:31:15 > 0:31:16they were never meant to be discovered.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19Of course, the Soviet Union collapsed in the '90s
0:31:19 > 0:31:20and, bang, here we are.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26Why do people draw phalluses everywhere?
0:31:26 > 0:31:27Even in a nuclear bunker.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29We've just found a place for the night.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31It is an underground bunker.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33We reckon some military stuff
0:31:33 > 0:31:34happened back there and we kind of have to
0:31:34 > 0:31:38keep our voices down because we're being hunted by crazy people.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40(Still being hunted by crazy people.)
0:31:40 > 0:31:41- SIREN BLARES - Shit!
0:31:54 > 0:31:56(Just stay in position, stay in position.)
0:32:09 > 0:32:10(I can't hear anything.)
0:32:13 > 0:32:16(Unless they've driven away. It's a good place and they're obviously not
0:32:16 > 0:32:19(aware of it or they definitely would have searched it,
0:32:19 > 0:32:21(just as a matter of course.
0:32:21 > 0:32:24(I think we're safe to light the fire now. What do you think, Maz?)
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Where were we? Rabbit stew.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30My head's like...pfft.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37Did you get any...replies or anything about how to, erm...
0:32:37 > 0:32:39How to skin a rabbit?
0:32:39 > 0:32:42- Yeah. I did drop a tweet. - Did you drop a tweet?
0:32:42 > 0:32:45- What were people saying?- "Cut it into pieces, lots of veg, slow cook,
0:32:45 > 0:32:48- "add cinnamon - lovely." Erm... - I wish we had seasonings.
0:32:48 > 0:32:49I think you missed the point.
0:32:49 > 0:32:53"With a strong heart, a sharp knife and a big bowl.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55"Get rid of the icky bits."
0:32:55 > 0:32:58"First you need to skin it." I know that. How do you skin it?
0:32:58 > 0:32:59I've got a video.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01What is that?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06Rabbit from Warren.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13Conventional methods for cutting rabbit - knife.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15- Don't use a knife. - Wow!- Give it a swing.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- I can't even...- I ain't doing that. - I can't even watch that.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20We're going hungry tonight.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22That is wrong. Nah, hell no!
0:33:22 > 0:33:25Drop legs, squeeze, nice bulge.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27Get it back,
0:33:27 > 0:33:29- squeeze.- No.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32Maz, I'm... I actually can't do that, guys.
0:33:32 > 0:33:33Oh, my God.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35One rabbit gutted, no knife.
0:33:35 > 0:33:36Fam, look at this.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43- Are you going to do it? - No, I'm not doing that.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47This is putting me off meat...
0:33:47 > 0:33:49hard. Hard. Like, immensely.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52No, but I'm a meat-eater so I don't want to be hypocritical
0:33:52 > 0:33:53but I can't do it in that way.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56- There's something barbaric... - Right, I've got one here.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58"How to prepare a rabbit."
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Right, OK. Who made the video?
0:34:00 > 0:34:02All right.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04The guy that made the video is obviously
0:34:04 > 0:34:08the most British hard man I've ever heard of in my life, so...
0:34:08 > 0:34:10- Shall we...shall we Skype call him? - Let's Skype call him.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Hello?
0:34:12 > 0:34:15- Hello, mate, you all right? - Hello, how are you doing, man?
0:34:15 > 0:34:16Hi, it's Russell, Maz.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18- Nice to meet you, man. - How you doing, boys?
0:34:18 > 0:34:22We haven't eaten all day but we blagged from this hunter the biggest
0:34:22 > 0:34:23rabbit I have ever seen.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27Maz can't even touch it so I'm the only hope.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30You've just got to lay it on its back with its back legs open.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33- OK.- Pinch a little bit of fur, yeah?
0:34:33 > 0:34:35A little between your thumb and finger.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39Just like that. Then just with a knife, make a little nick and
0:34:39 > 0:34:43just gently go under that fur all the way to its neck.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45This is horrific.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48- Don't think about it, man. Just do it.- All right, thanks, man.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50- Cheers, Scott.- I'll give it a go.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53Thank you very much. Cheers for the help, buddy. Have a good evening.
0:34:53 > 0:34:57- Bye-bye-bye.- Bye.- Well, Russell.
0:34:57 > 0:35:02Right. God, I'm dreading this so much.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03This is genuinely upsetting me.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Ah! All I'm doing is pulling fur out.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10It's as gross as anything.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13I don't want your life to be taken in vain.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15Oh, my God!
0:35:15 > 0:35:17Here, put that down there, Maz.
0:35:17 > 0:35:18Ah!
0:35:18 > 0:35:21OK. Oh, my God.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26Oh, wow! Oh, the bum looks like a cat, it looks like a cat.
0:35:26 > 0:35:27It's not a cat, it's not a cat.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30How do you get the bum bit off?
0:35:30 > 0:35:33- I don't know. - Maz, you're no help at all.
0:35:33 > 0:35:34Can't do it morally.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39I don't want to cut its pants off.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41- Look at this, man. - HE GAGS
0:35:41 > 0:35:42I don't what I'm doing.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Oh, shitting shit-shits!
0:35:46 > 0:35:48I think I'm going to vomit when the tail comes off.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50- Oh, come on.- Man, that's gross.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52What is that? What the hell is that stuff?
0:35:52 > 0:35:54- Is that fat?- That is horrible, man.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56I just cannot do it. I just...
0:35:56 > 0:35:59I wish my wife hadn't given birth in the last three months because
0:35:59 > 0:36:01it's really freaking me out this whole thing.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08I'll go full Rambo.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10Come on, you bastard.
0:36:10 > 0:36:11Oh!
0:36:11 > 0:36:13One leg.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Are you sure I can't...?
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Persuade me to eat this?
0:36:20 > 0:36:21- Yeah.- 100% not.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Are you telling me that doesn't just look just the same as Nando's?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26- I'm not messing with the meat like that.- No.- I can't eat that.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28OK. Very chicken-like...
0:36:30 > 0:36:31..in the look.
0:36:34 > 0:36:35That is delicious.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42I can tell you now, when you're this hungry, it tastes amazing.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45I lost my appetite when you started pulling off his legs.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47Blagged this off a hunter
0:36:47 > 0:36:50- and skinned it...- Yeah. - ...cooked it...- Yeah.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52..and we're still free, we haven't been caught.
0:36:52 > 0:36:53Mmm.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57All right. Let's get our heads down cos I'm tired.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00I'll see you in a bit. I'm going to finish up here with the meat.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03- CHUCKLING:- Night-night, man.
0:37:03 > 0:37:04Mm.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10I've never ridden on a motorbike or in a sidecar,
0:37:10 > 0:37:13I've certainly never skinned rabbit and I've never been to a nuclear
0:37:13 > 0:37:15bunker. It's been a day of firsts.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18So, I'm falling asleep happy with myself
0:37:18 > 0:37:22but a bit numb and a little bit trepidatious about what's going
0:37:22 > 0:37:23to happen tomorrow.
0:37:31 > 0:37:32Just check the area first, man.
0:37:32 > 0:37:36The point of this project is to use the smartphone in any way we can
0:37:36 > 0:37:38to survive, so last night Maz and I used our phone
0:37:38 > 0:37:40to call one of the drivers
0:37:40 > 0:37:41to just take us back to the film camp,
0:37:41 > 0:37:44which is about 40 minutes away and then get dropped back here before
0:37:44 > 0:37:47sunrise. The crew obviously don't know that,
0:37:47 > 0:37:50so I'm feeling a little bit fresher than I'm letting on.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53When would you ever get to see something like this ever?
0:37:53 > 0:37:55No. Poland has been the stomping ground of...
0:37:55 > 0:37:57of history for the whole 20th century.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Fascism, communism...
0:37:59 > 0:38:01I always fell asleep in history class, so...
0:38:01 > 0:38:03In these trenches, probably,
0:38:03 > 0:38:05Polish people and Russian people
0:38:05 > 0:38:07joined together to fight off the Nazis at
0:38:07 > 0:38:10their last stand in 1945.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14So we're standing at the very place that enabled our freedom.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17If fascism had taken over, the Nazis had taken over the whole of Europe,
0:38:17 > 0:38:19there would be no freedom of speech.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22Any sort of discourse where you go on YouTube and give your opinion
0:38:22 > 0:38:25- definitely would not exist. - My gosh.- That's mental, innit?
0:38:25 > 0:38:27- When you think about it like that. - Yeah.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30Learnt all about this in history class, you know, but...
0:38:30 > 0:38:31I wish I'd paid attention.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36- AMERICAN ACCENT:- It's the trench! Go, go, go!
0:38:36 > 0:38:38- Oh, my God!- It's mental, innit?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42IMAGINARY MACHINE-GUN FIRE
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Get out of here!
0:38:45 > 0:38:48Bang-bang-bang! Grenade, gun, boom!
0:38:48 > 0:38:50Ready? Back to the trench.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54I provided, like, the boring academic lecture
0:38:54 > 0:38:55and then you acted it out.
0:38:56 > 0:38:57Wicked.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03- We are still quite a way away, you know?- Yeah.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08We know they're nearby. We're going to strike across ground.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11We're going to loop back on ourselves and, if we can,
0:39:11 > 0:39:12we're going to hit that tank memorial
0:39:12 > 0:39:16before the hunters and if we do that, smartphone wins, hunters lose.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31We've got to zigzag, Russ.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33I'll do the zags, you do the zigs.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50I get tired after about ten seconds of activity.
0:39:50 > 0:39:52I'm knackered, man.
0:39:59 > 0:40:00Right.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- How far are we away?- We're too far.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06- Oh.- We're on the outskirts of town.
0:40:06 > 0:40:08We just need a bit of a boost to get in.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Let's see if we can get any vehicles round here.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Vehicle hire near me.
0:40:12 > 0:40:13Oh, good shout!
0:40:13 > 0:40:16- Good shout.- Look, military vehicles.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19Maybe we could blag some jeep or something.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23- Hello.- Hello, erm, do you speak English?
0:40:23 > 0:40:25Yeah, yeah.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28Hi, erm, we're doing an experiment with the BBC
0:40:28 > 0:40:34where we need to arrive at the Tank Memorial in Borne Sulinowo.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37But we need a vehicle to get there.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39Would we be able to blag a lift from you guys?
0:40:39 > 0:40:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:40:40 > 0:40:41Yes!
0:40:42 > 0:40:45That's what I like. They don't waste words, Polish people, do they?
0:40:45 > 0:40:47"I will do it."
0:40:47 > 0:40:49How mad that the only vehicle you can hire in a Polish town
0:40:49 > 0:40:51is a military one.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Stop doing stuff like that, man, it's making me look really bad.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57Ouch! Right, this is where it should be, the pin...
0:40:57 > 0:41:00He's shared with me. He says right here in this area.
0:41:00 > 0:41:01Right here?
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Let's wait in the trees just in case.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Shall I climb this tree for some higher ground?
0:41:06 > 0:41:09- I can hear something. - (I can't see anything, Russell.)
0:41:09 > 0:41:13I can hear something that doesn't sound like a car.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15That does not sound friendly.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17Mazzi Maz is in a tree. I'm hiding in the bushes.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19VEHICLE APPROACHES
0:41:20 > 0:41:22Oh, this is us!
0:41:22 > 0:41:25No way! This is way, way beyond Uber.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Oh...
0:41:27 > 0:41:30shit!
0:41:30 > 0:41:31- Oh!- I'll call you back.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33MAZ LAUGHS
0:41:34 > 0:41:36- Oh, my God! - Hey, you order taxi, yeah?
0:41:36 > 0:41:39- Nice one, man. - Yeah, we have only this one.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41Hey, how you doing? I'm Russell, nice to meet you.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Nice to meet you, bro. Nice to meet you, man.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45This is amazing.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47I want to see what the Alsatian's going to do
0:41:47 > 0:41:49when it's faced with that.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51- Oh!- I just want to inspect the goods.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53Oh. OK.
0:41:53 > 0:41:58This is mental. I can't believe we're about to get in a tank.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01- ENGINE REVS - Woo! Are you scared?- No, no.
0:42:01 > 0:42:05- I'm fine.- Woo! Let's get it going, let's get it going, let's do...
0:42:05 > 0:42:07MAZ LAUGHS
0:42:07 > 0:42:09Let's do this.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Argh!
0:42:28 > 0:42:29Ah! Oh, my Go-o-d!
0:42:32 > 0:42:33Oh!
0:42:33 > 0:42:35Oh...
0:42:35 > 0:42:38- Ahhh...- Oh, God.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40Ahhh!
0:42:43 > 0:42:46You'll never guess what. You'll never guess what.
0:42:46 > 0:42:50- On a tank.- Ah! Shit!
0:42:52 > 0:42:56- Russell, how you feeling, brother? - Yeah, great(!)
0:42:56 > 0:42:58Oh, my God, what are you doing?
0:43:00 > 0:43:02There's the town. I can see the town.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09The warmth.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Coolest way to arrive in town.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16There is city. OK?
0:43:16 > 0:43:18- The city's over there? - Yeah.- The city's alive.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20All right, then, Russell. You heard the man.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22- The city's over here. - Bye.- Let's go, bro.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27- All right, then. - It's actually a full-on city.
0:43:29 > 0:43:30Whoa.
0:43:39 > 0:43:4020-minute walk from here.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43- Let's go.- Oh, we're going in the wrong direction.
0:43:43 > 0:43:45- That's handy(!)- Are we going the wrong direction?
0:43:45 > 0:43:49Yeah, let's go this way. It's this way. Hey, pick up the pace, man.
0:43:49 > 0:43:50Er...
0:43:50 > 0:43:54Let's take a short cut. I ain't got time for this, take a short cut.
0:43:54 > 0:43:56Are we going the right way, Maz?
0:43:56 > 0:43:58This ain't right. Nah.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00- Let's go this way, come. - He's leading us.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03- That's what's worrying. - Sorry, I had to backtrack again,
0:44:03 > 0:44:05we're going this way. Sorry, sorry.
0:44:08 > 0:44:09I really don't want to fall over.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12- You good, Russell? How you keeping up?- We've got so much energy
0:44:12 > 0:44:13and exhaustion invested in this.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15It's really important we complete this mission.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18Mate, I'm feeling the buzz right now, I don't care.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21I will run and be sick at the finish line rather than just stand around
0:44:21 > 0:44:22and get caught. So, just go.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25I'm trying to combine thinking with running.
0:44:25 > 0:44:26We're are almost there!
0:44:27 > 0:44:31I don't understand why you want to hide when the finish line is there.
0:44:31 > 0:44:33I want to weave in between them and this.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35When we're two seconds from the finish line?
0:44:35 > 0:44:39I would be willing to bet there's some sort of ambush waiting.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43I think what's going on here is I'm trying to use
0:44:43 > 0:44:45the strategic stuff and Maz
0:44:45 > 0:44:47is using the speed and attack stuff,
0:44:47 > 0:44:50and what we need to do is combine both those approaches.
0:44:50 > 0:44:52Tank Memorial.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54- Statue. - HE SPEAKS POLISH
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- This.- Yeah, show him the photo.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59- Ah!- Do you know where it is?
0:44:59 > 0:45:02- Prosto.- Cool. It's this way.- A-ha!
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Shh! Come! Come, come, come, come!
0:45:06 > 0:45:09Stake it out a bit first. Jesus.
0:45:11 > 0:45:17I'm saying quick sprint, quick run. We dash for it. What's the worst?
0:45:17 > 0:45:18All right. Are you ready? All right.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20Let's go. Go, go, go! Fuck this, bro!
0:45:28 > 0:45:31- Bang!- Yes!- Bang!
0:45:31 > 0:45:33Told you. Told you.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35- Told you.- Dumping the kit was the way forward.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38- Mate.- We're here.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40Woo! A-woo!
0:45:40 > 0:45:42Commiserations.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44Pow! We just...
0:45:44 > 0:45:48We just won by running in the wrong direction like dicks for 15 minutes.
0:45:48 > 0:45:49- High five.- High five!
0:45:49 > 0:45:53Whoa, whoa, get this dance, get this dance, get this dance.
0:45:53 > 0:45:54Mission complete.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57- Yeah, we did it. - Don't do anything you'll regret.
0:45:58 > 0:45:59THEY LAUGH
0:46:01 > 0:46:02Woo!
0:46:02 > 0:46:04Thanks, man.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07Yes. We went in a tank. We travelled in a tank.
0:46:10 > 0:46:14- No way. Ah!- You let us win?
0:46:14 > 0:46:15They let us win.
0:46:21 > 0:46:23This is insane.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33I don't want to cut its pants off.
0:46:35 > 0:46:37Oh, shitting shit-shits!
0:46:44 > 0:46:45THEY LAUGH
0:46:54 > 0:46:56They let us win.
0:46:56 > 0:46:57Thank you.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01- Thanks, man.- Thank you, man. Thank you, bro. Thank you.
0:47:01 > 0:47:05- Thank you, bro.- Thanks a lot. - Thank you for letting us win.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08I always say that when I lose.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10- The smartphone... - We'd be dead without it.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12Yeah, we'd be dead without that smartphone.
0:47:12 > 0:47:14No maps... This ain't right, nah.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17- ..no riding that bike...- Ah!
0:47:17 > 0:47:19- No riding that tank! - ..no getting the tank...
0:47:19 > 0:47:20Ah!
0:47:21 > 0:47:24..you wouldn't know how to take the legs off a rabbit.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27Ugh! I don't know what I'm doing.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29It's been a whole new perspective, man.
0:47:29 > 0:47:30I am a tree.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33It's been emotional. Everyone in, we'll do the selfie first, here.
0:47:33 > 0:47:34Ready? Three, two, one.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37And now I'm going to have one or two drinks and I'm going to
0:47:37 > 0:47:39break dance till my pelvis fractures.