0:00:03 > 0:00:05Wo-ho-ho!
0:00:05 > 0:00:06APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:08 > 0:00:09Hey, HD!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Hey, Dougie!
0:00:11 > 0:00:12OK, HD, I've finished the script.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- Oh. - And we are live in...
0:00:14 > 0:00:17I hate this pressure. I don't do my best work under pressure.
0:00:17 > 0:00:24Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to That Puppet Game Show...
0:00:31 > 0:00:33..with our experts...
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Dr Strabismus, Amber O'Neil,
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Miss Jemima Taptackle,
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Eddie Watts, Jake Hamilton Jones,
0:00:42 > 0:00:45and the amazing Ian!
0:00:45 > 0:00:48With our contestants Katherine Jenkins and Jonathan Ross.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52It's time for That Puppet Game Show!
0:00:52 > 0:00:57Please welcome your host - Dougie Colon.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hey, here we go!
0:00:59 > 0:01:03Oh, yes, it's happening - it's Saturday night, or another night
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- if you're watching on iPlayer. - Get started early, Dougie.- I know!
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Hello and welcome to That Puppet Game Show.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Here's how the show works.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Two top celebrities go head to head over a series of rounds,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18each masterminded by one of our experts.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21They'll be prodded, pinched and pulled apart.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25But all in a bid to win £10,000 for a charity of their choice.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29So, without further ado, let's meet the brave contestants
0:01:29 > 0:01:31putting themselves on the line tonight.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36everybody's sweetheart, Katherine Jenkins
0:01:36 > 0:01:39and the king of TV, Jonathan Ross!
0:01:39 > 0:01:40APPLAUSE
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Oh, here they are. How are you both?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55- Hello. Good, thanks. - Very well.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57Welcome to the show, Katherine and Jonathan.
0:01:57 > 0:01:58Beauty and the beast!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Are you all right, Jonathan?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02What a terrible thing to say about Katherine, she's not bad looking!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Oh! You turned it around! You're such a pro!
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Now, Katherine, I am a huge fan of yours,
0:02:07 > 0:02:09I love all your recordings, but I love the opera stuff.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13- Thank you.- Are you thinking of moving into other ARIAS? Eh?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15Other ARIAS! Hey, come on!
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Hold it, I'm still winded. - Now, Jonathan.- Yes?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19When you're going about, well, your abnormal life,
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- if I'm honest, parading around in your Spiderman costume...- No...
0:02:22 > 0:02:24..going to the sweet shop to buy a comic,
0:02:24 > 0:02:27stroking your stinky old ferrets,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29have you ever been thinking, which super hero
0:02:29 > 0:02:31are you going to be like tonight?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34The thing is I'm blessed with powers of my own.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- Are you really?- Yes!- What?
0:02:36 > 0:02:37- Extraordinary abilities. - What?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Some of which we can't talk about on a tea-time show.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- Oh.- But I'd like to think I'm quick of wit.- Yes.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44- I'd like to think I'm fast of reflex.- Oh, yes.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I'd like to think I have a powerful memory,
0:02:46 > 0:02:48- so if there are any memory games... - Right.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50..I suspect I'm going to ace it.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Oh, right! Well, it's wonderful chatting to you both.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Round one now.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58Let's find out which expert we'll be meeting first in a hunt for £10,000!
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Music expert Eddie Watts!
0:03:13 > 0:03:14Right then, over to you, Eddie.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19Thanks, Dougie. Join me as we play Saucissong.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- Ah, well, hello, Katherine. - Hello.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28- And hello to you, Jonathan Ross. - Hello there.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30You're in for a right treat tonight because you'll get to hear
0:03:30 > 0:03:33the musical talents of our six singing hotdogs.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35They've been practising very, very hard this week,
0:03:35 > 0:03:39knowing they're in such esteemed company, Miss Jenkins.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Oh, yes. So let's meet them now.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Come on, Hotdogs, make yourselves known.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Hello, I'm Huey Hotdog and I support Partick Thistle.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Hello, I'm Margaret, and I live for golf.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Hello, I'm Isla.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Hello, I'm Duncan, and I'll toss you like a caber.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01INCOHERENT INTRODUCTION
0:04:02 > 0:04:06I'm Hamish, and I fry anything, apart from a hotdog!
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Oh, yeah. Makes perfect sense, yeah.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10These hotdogs are very, very musical.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Listen carefully to this beautiful singing.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16# But I would walk 500 miles
0:04:16 > 0:04:20# And I would walk 500 more
0:04:20 > 0:04:21# Just to be the man
0:04:21 > 0:04:24# Who walked a thousand miles
0:04:24 > 0:04:27# To fall down at your door
0:04:27 > 0:04:29# Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da
0:04:29 > 0:04:31# Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da
0:04:31 > 0:04:34# Da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da da-da. #
0:04:34 > 0:04:35APPLAUSE
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Yeah, beautiful. The crowd appear to love this,
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Hotdogs, so well done you.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44- Are you enjoying the Hotdogs? - I love a sausage, me!
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Yeah, and why not?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48I'm holding myself right back now. They look delicious!
0:04:48 > 0:04:51We need them, we need them. We need them, Mr Ross.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55OK, this is the good part, though. Watch this. Hotdogs - shuffle!
0:05:03 > 0:05:05OK, Jonathan, you are going to go first.
0:05:05 > 0:05:06You won the coin-toss backstage.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09What you need to do is squeeze each of these Hotdogs
0:05:09 > 0:05:13in the correct order so they sing their lovely Proclaimers song.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16But if you get one out of sequence you have to hand over
0:05:16 > 0:05:18the barbecue tongs to Katherine Jenkins.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Remember, it's for charity, so give it your best shot.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- OK.- Are you ready? - Well, as ready as I'll ever be.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25This is tough, though, because I don't know
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- if you've ever tried to pick out sausages from behind.- No.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31No, it's very tricky, but, you know, let's play.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33I'm thinking, OK.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Oh, look, he's hovering over you.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38# And I would walk 500 more. #
0:05:38 > 0:05:39AUDIENCE GROAN
0:05:40 > 0:05:44- Good luck, Katherine. - Jenkins is in the chair.- OK.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47# But I would walk 500 miles. #
0:05:47 > 0:05:49- Yes.- Oh, yes. Good.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51That's good, Katherine. Yeah, keep moving.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54# Just to be the man... #
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Oh, no.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57OK, back to Jon.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59That sounded good, but not right.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01# But I would walk 500 miles
0:06:01 > 0:06:05# And I would walk 500 more
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- # Da-da-da-da. # - Oh!
0:06:08 > 0:06:10You were making progress there!
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Jonathan did get two right, though, so Katherine,
0:06:12 > 0:06:15if you can remember those, you're off to a good start.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I'm going to become a vegetarian.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21# I would walk 500 miles... #
0:06:21 > 0:06:22I am a vegetarian.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25# And I would walk 500 more. #
0:06:25 > 0:06:27- # Da-da-da-da. # - No!
0:06:27 > 0:06:28I did it again!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30This is a nightmare!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32- OK, I've got it. - I'm not playing this!
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Katherine, I've got it. OK.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37# I would walk 500 miles
0:06:37 > 0:06:40# And I would walk 500 more
0:06:40 > 0:06:42# Just to be the man
0:06:42 > 0:06:45# Who walked a thousand miles
0:06:46 > 0:06:49# To fall down at your door. #
0:06:49 > 0:06:50One more.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53- # And I would walk... # - What?! What?!
0:06:55 > 0:07:00That was all but one, Jonathan. You almost won the round.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Oh, my goodness. Katherine, Jonathan got five out of six there.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06It was so close. You have got an amazing chance to steal.
0:07:06 > 0:07:07Ok? So good luck.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Come on, Katherine, you've got to do it.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12# Well, I would walk 500 miles
0:07:12 > 0:07:15# And I would walk 500 more
0:07:15 > 0:07:17# Just to be the man
0:07:17 > 0:07:19# Who walked a thousand miles... #
0:07:19 > 0:07:20Here we go.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23No, I think you're going to go da-da-da-da.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25No, he's da-da-da-da.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27# To fall down at your door. #
0:07:28 > 0:07:30# But I would walk 500 miles... #
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Ah, you told me! You did that on purpose!
0:07:33 > 0:07:35I did not, honest!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39No, I can't do it now!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Hang on. Quieten yourselves, Hotdogs.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Ah! What's happening? No, don't trust Jonathan.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Don't trust your opponent. It's a contest.- Well, I know.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I wasn't, I wasn't doing it on purpose. I really don't know!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54- Oh, OK! - They've been in the whisky!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56This is quite stressful.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59What? You're not being squeezed by the tongs!
0:08:00 > 0:08:03# I would walk 500 miles
0:08:03 > 0:08:06# And I would walk 500 more
0:08:06 > 0:08:08# Just to be the man... #
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Nice.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12# Who walked a thousand miles
0:08:15 > 0:08:18# To fall down at your door.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20AUDIENCE SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT
0:08:20 > 0:08:23# Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da
0:08:23 > 0:08:26# Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da. #
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Jonathan! Quiet, Hotdogs, quiet yourselves!
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Are you kissing them? - Well, kissing stroke tasting.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37OK, Jonathan, you put all six Hotdogs in the right order,
0:08:37 > 0:08:39so er, you, er win the game!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Thank you very much for playing Saucissong!
0:08:43 > 0:08:44APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Mancie, my delivery didn't arrive this week.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56I sent it back. What kind of game needs that much plutonium?
0:08:56 > 0:08:59It's not for the game, it's for the after-show party!
0:08:59 > 0:09:03The punch is always so weak!
0:09:03 > 0:09:06All right, all right.
0:09:06 > 0:09:11Mancie, Mancie, the boss wants to see you urgently.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13- When did he tell you? - Last Thursday.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Well done, Jonathan Ross there. And after that sideways look at music
0:09:18 > 0:09:21it's time to check on the scores. Clyde, what have we got?
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Wow, wow, wow, wow, what's with that sideways crack?
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Is that some kind of a crab dig?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Oh, no, mate, not at all, no.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Ah, all right. I'm sorry, Dougie. My son's just driving me nuts.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34- He wants to take a year off! - A year off from what?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Exactly! Maybe he's taking a year off from sitting on his butt
0:09:36 > 0:09:38playing computer games!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Tattooing some Zen phrase on the back of his neck!
0:09:40 > 0:09:42What Buddhist is going to read his neck?!
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Yeah, but moving on, Clyde.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45All right, all right.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Er, scores are Jonny Whitecoat's got two,
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Songbird nothing.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Right. Thank you very much, Clyde.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Hey, you wanted to see me sir?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Oh, Mancie. You need to trim some fat.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Er...you'd better be talking about from the show,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08because I have been going to Tums, Bums and Thighs.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10And do you go there to eat?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Er, with all due respect, you're the one with four stomachs.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Well, I am talking about the show.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17We need to fire one of the experts.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Hey, we can't fire anybody.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23Everybody here works their fingers to the bone!
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Can you lads keep it down?
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I'm trying to sleep here!
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Ian, we're in the middle of an important meeting!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Yeah, well, I need my beauty sleep.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34And tell that tale-swishing, cud-sucking boss of ours
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- that I need a softer couch... - Ian, Ian!
0:10:36 > 0:10:39..cos that one, he probably thinks it is soft, the size of his butt!
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Ian!
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Ah!
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Wow, what a terrible nightmare I just had!
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Someone was insulting my boss, whom I revere so highly.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53And, oh, hey, George Clooney, wow!
0:10:53 > 0:10:55What a booking, Mancie, fantastic!
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Oh, no, it's you, Mr McGhee!
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Well, I'd love to stay and talk
0:10:59 > 0:11:00and...but you know me.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04Work, work, work! Work, work, work, ha-ha!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05What the hell was that?
0:11:05 > 0:11:09He's fine, he ticks a lot of boxes.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Now, it's really important you choose who goes. For two reasons.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Number one - you're the producer.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19And number two - I don't know anyone's name!
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Hmm...George Clooney, well, maybe I should grow a beard.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Mancie, Mancie, would it be all right
0:11:25 > 0:11:28if I went home early today?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31My grandfather died.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Amber, I'm your sister
0:11:34 > 0:11:37and our grandfather died ten years ago.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Oh, all right, I want eyelash extensions,
0:11:40 > 0:11:43it's what Grumpy would have wanted.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Fine, just go then.- Ha!
0:11:45 > 0:11:48But you know all Grumpy really wanted was for you to wear a skirt
0:11:48 > 0:11:52long enough that people couldn't see your underwear!
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Well done, Jonathan Ross, you're shooting into an early lead!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- Thank you, give me five! - Oh, go on, then.- Thank you. - Yeah, you have that!
0:11:58 > 0:12:00But then again, you could be the hare and Katherine,
0:12:00 > 0:12:02you could be the tortoise, we don't know...
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- 'at this time, do we?' - Hey, I thought I was the tortoise!
0:12:05 > 0:12:06HE TUTS
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Originally, for that game, we were going to use One Direction instead of Hotdogs,
0:12:10 > 0:12:12but Harry don't like being squeezed with tongs
0:12:12 > 0:12:15and, to be honest, they weren't brilliant at holding the notes!
0:12:15 > 0:12:18OK, so onto Round Two in our contest for the charity prize,
0:12:18 > 0:12:20let's see who we've got next.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Sport expert Miss Jemima Taptackle!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Well, welcome, Miss Taptackle!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38You have a lovely rosy glow.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Have you been jazzercising?
0:12:40 > 0:12:44Actually, I was pulling a lorry along with my teeth!
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Wow! Were you up for the World's Strongest Woman?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48No, I ran out of petrol.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Nice one! Celebrities, it's time to get sporty with it.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Take it away, Miss Taptackle.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57Tonight, Dougie, we will be playing Punch Your Lights Out!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Right, in the red corner,
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Katherine Jenkins,
0:13:04 > 0:13:07with her trainer Seamus O'Platt!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Katherine 'Lung-Buster' Jenkins,
0:13:09 > 0:13:11sings like a mezzo soprano
0:13:11 > 0:13:15and fights dirty like Tony Soprano!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:13:17 > 0:13:20And in the blue corner,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23Jonathan Ross with his trainer Nicky KO.
0:13:23 > 0:13:28Jonathan 'Not a supreme but The Supreme' Ross!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30He's got the eye of a tiger.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Each of you is covered in 100 lights.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37The aim of the game is to punch as many of your own lights out
0:13:37 > 0:13:39as you can in 45 seconds.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Whoever gets the most wins two points.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44The bout will begin
0:13:44 > 0:13:46on the sound of the bell!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Ready! Three, two, one!
0:13:50 > 0:13:52BELL RINGS
0:13:52 > 0:13:53OK, Katherine!
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Come on, punch yourself!
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Come on, really go for it now!
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Yes! Hurry, hurry, hurry!
0:13:59 > 0:14:01On your backside!
0:14:01 > 0:14:03No time for whoosies in this game! Yes!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Come on, Jonathan, you're down but you're not out!
0:14:06 > 0:14:08On your shoulder, your back shoulder, Katherine.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09That's it!
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Crotch! Don't forget the crotch!
0:14:11 > 0:14:13You don't have time to waste in this game!
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Oh, I like that one!
0:14:15 > 0:14:17That's it! You can do it!
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Get some action on your arms!
0:14:19 > 0:14:2130 seconds to go! Come on!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- You're nearly done.- Hurry, hurry!
0:14:25 > 0:14:28You know telly's supposed to educate, inform and entertain?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Yeah?
0:14:30 > 0:14:31Which one's this, then?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Show them what you're made of!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Three, two, one...
0:14:40 > 0:14:41BELL RINGS
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Oh, that was good.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Well done, Katherine!
0:14:46 > 0:14:48How many lights did Katherine punch out?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50She got them all, would you believe?!
0:14:50 > 0:14:53No, in fact, I wouldn't believe that!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55What is the actual count?
0:14:55 > 0:15:01OK, OK, Katherine managed to punch 70 of her lights out.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Wonderful! Very good. Nicky, how did Jonathan do?
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Jonathan, my sweet precious baby angel boy,
0:15:10 > 0:15:15- managed to punch out 77 of his lights!- Yes!
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Yeah, baby!- In your face, Jenkins!
0:15:18 > 0:15:22We have a winner, congratulations to Jonathan!
0:15:22 > 0:15:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Thank you for playing
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Punch Your Lights Out!
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Well done, big JR, two points for you there.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Time to see what that's done to the scores, Clyde!
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Look, I'm sorry, Tiffany, sweetie,
0:15:37 > 0:15:39we just can't afford it!
0:15:39 > 0:15:41'I wish I'd never been born!'
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Oh! Trouble with your daughter now, Clyde?
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Yeah, she's bleeding me dry, Dougie.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48When she hugs me with those ten adorable little claws,
0:15:48 > 0:15:50what am I supposed to do? Not buy her a pony?!
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Can a crab actually ride a pony?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Don't push me, Dougie!
0:15:54 > 0:15:55Well, how about the scores, then?
0:15:55 > 0:15:58All right, Jonny Chatshow has 4,
0:15:58 > 0:16:00La Boheme, zip!
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Oh! Thank you very much, Clyde!
0:16:02 > 0:16:03La Boheme!
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Hey, Ian, you've had a lot of jobs, right?
0:16:06 > 0:16:07According to my CV.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Of course, my CV also says "no criminal convictions".
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Ah, hey, hey there, guy.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Hmm? What?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Hey, you ever thought about, you know, maybe moving on
0:16:17 > 0:16:20finally getting down to writing that autobiography?
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Ha! You take out the incriminating stuff
0:16:22 > 0:16:25and still probably some really great anecdotes.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Write? I can't even read!
0:16:27 > 0:16:28I need this show!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30I'm a terrible gambler,
0:16:30 > 0:16:33I put ten grand on Anne Hathaway to win an Oscar!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36- She did win!- Yeah, Best Supporting Actress,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I had her down for Best Sound Editing!
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Hey, hey, Miss Taptackle.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Oh, yes?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Hey, you must really long for your old teaching days?
0:16:46 > 0:16:49You know, the long holidays,
0:16:49 > 0:16:51the apples on your desks,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53the smiles on the children's faces.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56You clearly didn't go to an all-girls school.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59The jealousy, the sniping, the psychological bullying!
0:16:59 > 0:17:01And that was just the teachers!
0:17:04 > 0:17:08Hey, Mancie, I saw you talking to those two. What's going on?
0:17:08 > 0:17:10OK, I'll tell you, but it's confidential, OK?
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Mancie, remember who you're talking to,
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- it's in the vault, you can trust me. - OK.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Mr Udders wants me to make someone redundant.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Oh! We're all getting fired!
0:17:24 > 0:17:25We're all getting fired!
0:17:25 > 0:17:28THEY SCREAM
0:17:28 > 0:17:30You're not all getting fired!
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Oh, that's all right, then. - Oh, thank goodness.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Only one of you is getting fired.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37THEY SCREAM
0:17:37 > 0:17:38It's definitely going to be me!
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Oh, this is ridiculous!
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Great stuff, guys, it was like a cross between boxing
0:17:42 > 0:17:45and watching two people try to fix the Christmas tree lights!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Very impressive. Hard lines.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49I thought I'd go for a different kind of tactic,
0:17:49 > 0:17:52but it didn't really work out, you know, Jonathan, you were great!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Did you take advice from your coach and do a sausage roll?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56That's exactly what I did.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Hey, sausage roll. Oh, give me five, Jonny Ross.- Not for that, no.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Do you like that, no? Oh, don't leave me hanging!
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Anyway, still time to win that £10,000 cash for your charities,
0:18:04 > 0:18:07let's find out who's in store for Round Three!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Show business expert Amber O'Neill!
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Well, looking good, Amber,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26and I noticed you were snapped leaving a celebrity nightclub
0:18:26 > 0:18:27at 4am this week?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Oh, those photographers were just terrible.
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Oh, really?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I had to stand there for, like, 20 minutes
0:18:33 > 0:18:36before I could get them to take a single photo!
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Oh, never mind. What we playing next, Amber?
0:18:39 > 0:18:42It's time for Life's A Speech!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Now, this round tests one of the most difficult things
0:18:49 > 0:18:52facing those in the public eye today.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Accepting an award.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57I've prepared a speech for each of you.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58However, I've left out some of the words.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02Your job is to read the speech and fill in the blanks.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Whoever fills in the most blanks correctly will win.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08And two points will be added to your total.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Katherine, you're behind, so we're going to start with you.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13So, Jonathan, you can wait backstage.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- OK, good luck, Katherine.- Thank you.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17All right, my darling, take your award
0:19:17 > 0:19:19and make your way to the podium.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24You're live in three, two, one... Cue!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Oh, my gosh,
0:19:26 > 0:19:30I can't believe I'm standing here with the Pride of Wales Award 2013.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34I can't tell you how much I've dreamt of this moment.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Wales is a wonderful country and I know all about it.
0:19:39 > 0:19:44I know that the highest mountain in Wales is... Oh, my God!
0:19:44 > 0:19:46BUZZER
0:19:46 > 0:19:47This award means so much to me
0:19:47 > 0:19:50because I really love Wales, even as much as I love maths.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54My favourite sum is 144 divided by 12.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Come on, we all know that the answer is...12 ?
0:19:57 > 0:19:58BELL
0:19:58 > 0:20:00And...I'm sorry I'm just so happy!
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I haven't got time to thank everybody so, to be efficient,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05I'd like to thank the people
0:20:05 > 0:20:08from the three most populated countries in the world,
0:20:08 > 0:20:10which are, of course, China...
0:20:10 > 0:20:11BELL ..America...
0:20:11 > 0:20:14BELL Er...oh...
0:20:14 > 0:20:15BUZZER
0:20:15 > 0:20:17You know, one of the reasons Wales is so great
0:20:17 > 0:20:20is because the Welsh school system is so good.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23I'll never forget being taught the native phonetic alphabet.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27I can tell you that A is alpha...
0:20:27 > 0:20:28BELL ..D is delta...
0:20:28 > 0:20:29BELL ..H is hotel...
0:20:29 > 0:20:32BELL ..and Q is...ha!
0:20:32 > 0:20:34BUZZER
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Of course, winning this award comes with certain responsibilities,
0:20:37 > 0:20:39I am now a female figurehead,
0:20:39 > 0:20:43much like the First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama.
0:20:43 > 0:20:44BELL
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Except that I'm more powerful.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49But I don't...I don't let the power get to my head,
0:20:49 > 0:20:51because no-one's more powerful than the three countries
0:20:51 > 0:20:55who won the most gold medals at the London 2012 Olympics -
0:20:55 > 0:20:56America...
0:20:56 > 0:20:58BELL
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Um...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Um...UK...
0:21:01 > 0:21:03BELL ..and...China.
0:21:03 > 0:21:04BELL
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Oooh, I love the Olympics!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Umm...to celebrate winning this award,
0:21:08 > 0:21:11I'm going to open up a chocolate factory, just like Willy Wonka did
0:21:11 > 0:21:15when he arrived those five Golden Ticket winners...
0:21:15 > 0:21:16Oh, my gosh!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Er...Veruca...
0:21:20 > 0:21:21Wart?
0:21:21 > 0:21:22BUZZER
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Er, anyone, um...but in my factory,
0:21:24 > 0:21:28I'll have a giant chocolate chess set with massive versions
0:21:28 > 0:21:31of the six different chess pieces -
0:21:31 > 0:21:32Kings...
0:21:32 > 0:21:33BELL ..queen...
0:21:33 > 0:21:34BELL ..bishop...
0:21:34 > 0:21:36BELL Um...
0:21:36 > 0:21:38AUDIENCE SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Anyway... Oh, this is so upsetting!
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Um...Simon Cowell!
0:21:42 > 0:21:44BUZZER
0:21:44 > 0:21:46And each time you take someone's piece, you can eat it.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49So be nice to me and I might let you come.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Katherine, come over here and bring that beautiful award with you.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Ooh, ooh, hey, Jonathan, hey!
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I'm considering a career change.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00How long does it take
0:22:00 > 0:22:01to become a chat-show host?
0:22:01 > 0:22:03A couple of days or a week?
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Well, really, to get it right, it takes years.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Well, maybe for you...
0:22:08 > 0:22:10The trick is to try and make it look easy.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11To make it look effortless.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12Well, you nailed it, my friend,
0:22:12 > 0:22:13cos it just looks
0:22:13 > 0:22:16like you're making no effort at all!
0:22:16 > 0:22:17I've seen your show,
0:22:17 > 0:22:18it looks like you just stumbled
0:22:18 > 0:22:19in front of the camera.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's great, great... Hey?
0:22:21 > 0:22:22That was a compliment!
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Ooh, funny walk! That's a funny walk!
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Well done. Now, I'm going to get Jonathan back on,
0:22:29 > 0:22:31so you take your award and go backstage.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33- I will do, thank you. - Well done, darling, well done.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Jonathan? Come back here.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- Jonathan, I need to ask you a question.- Yes?
0:22:41 > 0:22:42Do you think I'm good at my job?
0:22:42 > 0:22:45I think you're great at your job, you're fabulous.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Why are you even concerned?
0:22:46 > 0:22:49There's just a problem backstage, nothing to worry about, anyway.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Could you please take your award and make your way over to the podium?
0:22:53 > 0:22:54Thank you, I will.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:58 > 0:23:02You are live in three, two, one... Cue!
0:23:02 > 0:23:05I am honoured, amazed and tickled pink
0:23:05 > 0:23:09to be receiving the award for Best Banter 2013.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11I haven't been this proud since I was awarded an OBE,
0:23:11 > 0:23:13which obviously stands for...
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Ordinary Bloke Excellence.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17BUZZER
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Er...Order of the British Empire!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20BELL
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I'm sorry, I'm feeling quite emotional about this,
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I've had to work so hard to get here.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Much harder than most, such as the host of Would I Lie To You...?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Um, David Mitchell, no!
0:23:31 > 0:23:32- BUZZER - Lee Mack!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34BUZZER
0:23:34 > 0:23:37The other bloke, in the middle, anyway, I'm sure he's lovely.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40But I'm proud of my banter, much like Bamako prides itself on being the capital city
0:23:40 > 0:23:43of a wonderful country I've yet to visit.
0:23:43 > 0:23:44BUZZER
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I have a lot of people to thank. First and foremost,
0:23:46 > 0:23:50the man from Scotland credited with inventing the television, that's er...Yogi Bear, Logie Baird.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52BELL
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Er...I literally wouldn't be here without him.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57I've been obsessed with TV ever since watching the first moon landing
0:23:57 > 0:24:00and those three brave astronauts from Apollo Third...Eleven -
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Er...Harry Styles...
0:24:02 > 0:24:04BUZZER
0:24:04 > 0:24:05..Buzz Aldrin...
0:24:05 > 0:24:06- BELL - ..Lance Armstrong...
0:24:06 > 0:24:07BUZZER
0:24:09 > 0:24:11..and Sir Alan Sugar.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12BUZZER
0:24:12 > 0:24:15The person people always forget to thank in these situations is themselves.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17And frankly, I wouldn't be here without me,
0:24:17 > 0:24:19so I'd like to thank me for being so clever.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22For instance, I can tell you that 34 times three is...102?
0:24:22 > 0:24:23BELL
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Pretty smart, hey? I nearly threw it all in at one point
0:24:25 > 0:24:27and considered retraining as a bar tender.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I dreamt of working somewhere, like the pub in EastEnders,
0:24:30 > 0:24:33the er...the er...oh, man, what's it called? I've forgotten!
0:24:33 > 0:24:34The Arms, it's The Arms...
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- BUZZER - Or Coronation Street, The Rovers Return.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39- BELL - Or Emmerdale, the er...the...the Slum.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- BUZZER - Or even Hollyoaks, which I don't watch cos I'm too old,
0:24:42 > 0:24:45so thank God I avoided that career choice. But I'm so proud, I could roar.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Did you know there are only four big cats that can roar? It's true, they are the lion...
0:24:49 > 0:24:50- BELL - ..the tiger...
0:24:50 > 0:24:51- BELL - ..the leopard...
0:24:51 > 0:24:53- BELL - ..the panther...
0:24:53 > 0:24:54- BUZZER - ..the jaguar.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55BELL
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Who else should I thank? I thank you all.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01I think every single one of you on each of the seven continents,
0:25:01 > 0:25:02India...
0:25:02 > 0:25:05- BUZZER - That's a sub-continent, sorry. Er...Asia...
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- BELL - ..Australia...
0:25:07 > 0:25:08- BELL - ..Europe...
0:25:08 > 0:25:09- BELL - ..America...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- BUZZER - ..North America...
0:25:11 > 0:25:12- BELL - ..Canada...
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- BUZZER - ..Ireland...
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- BUZZER - ..Singapore...
0:25:16 > 0:25:17BUZZER
0:25:17 > 0:25:19And this is just huge for me so thank you all so much.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22I feel, this evening, like King Kong.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23HE SCREAMS
0:25:23 > 0:25:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Oh, Jonathan, get over here, you were wonderful!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Let's get Katherine back and see how you both did.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Katherine.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Well done, you were both, like, so awesome!
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- It's hard, thank you!- It's tough, harder than you think, isn't it?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Yeah, you completely forget the obvious things.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51Now, let me reveal that Katherine got 13 correct.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:25:52 > 0:25:57But Jonathan also got 13 correct, so it's a draw!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59No! Well done!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Two points will be added to both your scores.
0:26:02 > 0:26:07Well done, both of you, and thank you for playing Life's A Speech!
0:26:07 > 0:26:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Well, it's two points for everyone there, even Stevens.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15'Time to pinch a look at the scores...'
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Mancie, Ian has had ten Martinis during the show.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Well, you told me to cut down, and I cut down!
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Miss Taptackle's been taking stuff from the office.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Everyone takes a pencil or two!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Yeah, you took a security guard. - He's happy.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31I have a big garden plenty of room for him to run around.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32He can dig in the grass.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36All right, now, let's not all turn on each other, we're all we've got.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37Thank you, Jake.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41Having said that, Doctor Strabismus has been misusing company equipment.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44He's been trying to make that kettle act like a human!
0:26:44 > 0:26:45It burns!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47It is alive!
0:26:47 > 0:26:48HE CACKLES
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Two sugs, please, love!
0:26:50 > 0:26:52I don't know why you're all fighting.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54We all know it's going to be me.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56They always fire the armadillo.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Look, you know what? I have a very good reason
0:26:58 > 0:27:00to fire every single one of you.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Now, everyone get back to work!
0:27:03 > 0:27:04- OK.- Anyone want a Martini?
0:27:04 > 0:27:05Oh!
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Well, well done to you both.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14And you're off the mark, Katherine, impressive work!
0:27:14 > 0:27:15- Finally.- Are you pleased?
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Yeah, that was just such a hard round!
0:27:18 > 0:27:22In fact, you were as impressive as the glorious peak of Mount Snowdon,
0:27:22 > 0:27:25which, in case you didn't know, is a mountain in Wales!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I did know that, it's just it's one of those things
0:27:28 > 0:27:29that just goes from your mind.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31- And, Jonathan, I just had a text here.- Oh, yeah?
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Right, yeah, from Rob Brydon,
0:27:33 > 0:27:35the host of Would I Lie To You?
0:27:35 > 0:27:37And it just says, "Jonathan who?"
0:27:37 > 0:27:39But, you know, the thing is...
0:27:39 > 0:27:43Rob Brydon is very forgettable, that's the problem.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46- Oh, no...- He's a very forgettable man and he won't mind me saying that.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48No, he will, he really will and you know it.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- 'He'll be furious!- But he's not the star of the show, he's in everything...'
0:27:51 > 0:27:54If I ever get sacked, I could always go back to my job
0:27:54 > 0:27:56removing windscreen wipers.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59I didn't know you worked in a garage, Monkey?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01No, safari park!
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Come on, make that monkey sound!
0:28:05 > 0:28:08HE CHATTERS
0:28:08 > 0:28:10I love that!
0:28:10 > 0:28:12'Anyways, let's find out who's next'
0:28:12 > 0:28:14in your race for the charity prize.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24Mental agility expert The Amazing Ian!
0:28:28 > 0:28:30HE LAUGHS
0:28:30 > 0:28:31Welcome! How are you doing, Ian?
0:28:31 > 0:28:35I'm not going to lie to you, Colon, I've got a little bit of a glow on.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37It's pronounced 'cologne'.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41But that's got not got anything to do with anything I'm about to say.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43I love you.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45I love you, you big lug, I really do.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48I've made him coffee with my talking kettle.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Oh, thank you. That actually probably...
0:28:50 > 0:28:52HE SLURPS
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Thank you, that's helped.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58OK, Colon! Tonight, we will be playing...
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Nosey Neighbour.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10Hello and welcome to Nosey Neighbour.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14The round where you're rewarded for being nosey.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17For this game, I have built a garden in the studio.
0:29:17 > 0:29:18And in this garden,
0:29:18 > 0:29:21the Hotdogs are re-creating how they spend their days off,
0:29:21 > 0:29:25kicking back, and topping up their enviable tans.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29Katherine and Jonathan are with me behind the garden fence.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Say hello, Jonathan. Come on in.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34- Hello!- Good! Say hello, Katherine!
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Hello!
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Keep bouncing, Katherine!
0:29:37 > 0:29:39All right, now, I will ask Katherine
0:29:39 > 0:29:41and Jonathan a series of questions,
0:29:41 > 0:29:43based on what is happening
0:29:43 > 0:29:44in the Hotdog garden.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Whoever gets the most correct answers will win two points for charity.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51The game starts on my first question.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53What colour is the watering can?
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Yellow.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Correct! What is dangling on the end
0:29:57 > 0:29:59of the Hotdog's fishing line?
0:29:59 > 0:30:01- Jonathan?- A fish.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03- Wrong!- A bird!
0:30:03 > 0:30:04Correct!
0:30:04 > 0:30:07The topiary bush is in the shape of which...Katherine?
0:30:07 > 0:30:08Pig.
0:30:08 > 0:30:09Correct!
0:30:09 > 0:30:12How many Hotdogs are pumping iron?
0:30:12 > 0:30:13- Katherine?- Two.
0:30:13 > 0:30:14Correct!
0:30:14 > 0:30:18The Hotdog on the bouncy castle is wearing what colour hat?
0:30:18 > 0:30:19- Jonathan?- Blue.
0:30:19 > 0:30:20Correct!
0:30:20 > 0:30:24The barbecuing Hotdog is wearing an apron in which two colours?
0:30:24 > 0:30:25Katherine?
0:30:25 > 0:30:26Green and white.
0:30:26 > 0:30:27Correct!
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Oh, boy, this is just thoroughly exhausting!
0:30:30 > 0:30:31OK! How many stripy tops
0:30:31 > 0:30:33are hanging on the washing line?
0:30:33 > 0:30:35- Jonathan?- Four.
0:30:35 > 0:30:36Correct!
0:30:36 > 0:30:38This is the last question, your final question.
0:30:38 > 0:30:39Thank heavens for that!
0:30:39 > 0:30:42There are three different numbers on three Hotdogs' caps,
0:30:42 > 0:30:45add them together and what's the total?
0:30:45 > 0:30:47HE LAUGHS
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Come on, who's got it?
0:30:49 > 0:30:50Jonathan?
0:30:50 > 0:30:51100!
0:30:51 > 0:30:52Wrong. Katherine?
0:30:52 > 0:30:54116?
0:30:54 > 0:30:55Correct! That's it!
0:30:55 > 0:30:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Game's over, step up, come on up, Jonathan.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03That was great, you guys were both terrific.
0:31:03 > 0:31:04Terrific.
0:31:04 > 0:31:08- And I bet you need a drink after that, I know I do.- Yes, please.
0:31:08 > 0:31:12At the end of Nosey Neighbour, Jonathan, you did quite well,
0:31:12 > 0:31:15but, Katherine, you got the most answers correct,
0:31:15 > 0:31:17which means you win the game
0:31:17 > 0:31:20and two points will be added to your total.
0:31:20 > 0:31:21Oh, thank you!
0:31:21 > 0:31:25Thank you, Katherine and Jonathan, for playing Nosey Neighbour!
0:31:25 > 0:31:28CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:31:28 > 0:31:30Wow, four games down and two points there for Katherine,
0:31:30 > 0:31:33so what's that done to the scores, Clyde?
0:31:33 > 0:31:35Argh! Oh, boy!
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Oh, what's up with you?
0:31:37 > 0:31:40Well, I just got back from family therapy. So enlightening!
0:31:40 > 0:31:42Right?
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Yeah, apparently, I'm insensitive, I don't listen,
0:31:44 > 0:31:48and I reduce everyone to the most generic and simple labels.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Anyway, Beard's got six, Blonde's got four.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:31:53 > 0:31:55This show's going great.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59Well, that's what happens when you have a good, solid team, sir.
0:31:59 > 0:32:03Perhaps I devised this whole sacking scenario as a team-building exercise
0:32:03 > 0:32:05to get your guys working harder.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07ALL: Oh! Oh!
0:32:07 > 0:32:08Of course I didn't.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10Someone's still getting fired.
0:32:10 > 0:32:11ALL: Aw!
0:32:11 > 0:32:15So who's for the old, chop-erooney?
0:32:15 > 0:32:16It's impossible.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19They may be a lazy, narcissistic,
0:32:19 > 0:32:21incompetent bunch of morons,
0:32:21 > 0:32:25but they're MY lazy, narcissistic,
0:32:25 > 0:32:27- incompetent bunch of morons!- Ooh!
0:32:27 > 0:32:30There's really only one person it can be.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32And it's me, I quit.
0:32:32 > 0:32:33Well, I'm sorry to lose you, Mancie,
0:32:33 > 0:32:35but we need the money.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38You've done a great job, but them's the breaks.
0:32:38 > 0:32:39- I quit.- What?
0:32:39 > 0:32:41If she quits, I quit.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44- And I quit!- Und I quit!
0:32:44 > 0:32:45And he quits!
0:32:45 > 0:32:47HE MUMBLES
0:32:47 > 0:32:48And I quit.
0:32:49 > 0:32:50And I quit.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52You don't work here.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54I know, cos I just quit! Dah!
0:32:54 > 0:32:57I see, so that's the way you want to play it, is it?
0:32:57 > 0:33:00Right, well, I've got to find the money from somewhere,
0:33:00 > 0:33:03so I'll have to scrap the back-up show.
0:33:03 > 0:33:04The what?
0:33:04 > 0:33:07What do we do here at Games Incorporated?
0:33:07 > 0:33:08AUDIENCE: We play games!
0:33:08 > 0:33:10Yes, we play games!
0:33:10 > 0:33:11The back-up show.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Each week I film a whole other show with a different host,
0:33:14 > 0:33:16different guests and different experts,
0:33:16 > 0:33:18- in case something goes wrong with yours.- What?!
0:33:18 > 0:33:20That must cost a fortune?
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Ha, you should have seen what my back-up show
0:33:22 > 0:33:24for the Olympic opening ceremony cost.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26So you're on your own now, Mancie,
0:33:26 > 0:33:30you can't rely on That Other Puppet Game Show any more.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32I'm shutting it down.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35I don't care if you have got Jeremy Paxman in the custard bath.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37I can't believe you guys did that for me.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40- We need you, Mancie.- Yes!
0:33:40 > 0:33:43- Come on, everyone, we've got a show to finish!- Yes!
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Hey, Eddie?
0:33:45 > 0:33:47- Yes, Mancie? - Thank you so much.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Oh, well, we couldn't, er...
0:33:49 > 0:33:51imagine life without you, Mance!
0:33:51 > 0:33:55I couldn't imagine life without you, guys. Especially you, Eddie.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Eddie...
0:33:57 > 0:34:00Would you guys just shut your pie holes?
0:34:00 > 0:34:03My head is killing me and I need to get some shut eye.
0:34:03 > 0:34:04Oh, oh...
0:34:04 > 0:34:05HE SNORES
0:34:05 > 0:34:09Yeah, yeah, OK. Umm. Mancie...oh. Ah!
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Well, well done, Katherine Jenkins, you're right back in game!
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Thank you!
0:34:14 > 0:34:16- There's only two points in it? - Thank goodness.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19But you were suspiciously good at that game.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Who do you live next door to
0:34:20 > 0:34:23and what do they get up to in the garden?
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Oooh, you're not telling, interesting.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28And hard luck, Jonathan.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32Yeah, I had a disadvantage and I really do feel like I was...handicapped unfairly there.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34- Why?- Cos I'm bouncing up and down on the trampoline,
0:34:34 > 0:34:36meant to be looking at sausages, but next to me,
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Katherine Jenkins is bouncing up and down on a trampoline,
0:34:38 > 0:34:42- where do you think I'll be looking most of the time?- Yeah, enough said.
0:34:42 > 0:34:43You're a dirty little monkey.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45Righty-ho. It's time for the final round, now.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47And er, who's our expert, you're probably wondering?
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Well, it's me, Dougie Colon!
0:34:49 > 0:34:52So if you'd please join me for That Puppet End Game!
0:34:57 > 0:34:58Welcome to the final round,
0:34:58 > 0:35:00the scores are four to Katherine
0:35:00 > 0:35:01and six to Jonathan.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05So you're still both in with a chance of winning £10,000 for charity.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08For this round, knowledge is points-winning power.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10As the six experts will ask you questions
0:35:10 > 0:35:12based on their specialist subjects.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14For every question you get right,
0:35:14 > 0:35:16a point will be added to your final total.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18And there they all are, the best of the best.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21Our top guns taking my breath away.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23Is everyone ready with their questions?
0:35:23 > 0:35:24ALL: Oh, yes, ready!
0:35:24 > 0:35:25HE SNORES
0:35:27 > 0:35:29This week, we begin with...
0:35:29 > 0:35:30Eddie Watts, music!
0:35:30 > 0:35:34Almost every year, I pack up my tent and head to Worthy Farm to attend...
0:35:34 > 0:35:36- Wow, Jonathan?- Glastonbury.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38- Correct.- Oh, Jake, nature?
0:35:38 > 0:35:41I spent six months living exactly like a giant panda in the wild,
0:35:41 > 0:35:43what was virtually the only thing I ate?
0:35:43 > 0:35:46- Jonathan?- Bamboo shoots.
0:35:46 > 0:35:47Correct-amundo.
0:35:47 > 0:35:48Amber, showbiz.
0:35:48 > 0:35:53Who is the oldest member of the eternally youthful Take That?
0:35:53 > 0:35:54Oh, Katherine?
0:35:54 > 0:35:55Howard.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57Correct!
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Well played! Ian, mental agility!
0:35:59 > 0:36:03In total, how many vowels are in the word 'embarrassment'?
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Oh, Katherine?
0:36:05 > 0:36:06Four.
0:36:06 > 0:36:07Yeah, that's right.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Dr Strabismus, science!
0:36:09 > 0:36:12I was banned from the Large Hadron Collider,
0:36:12 > 0:36:14which runs beneath France and which other country?
0:36:14 > 0:36:16- Jonathan?- Switzerland.
0:36:16 > 0:36:18- Correct!- Jake, nature!
0:36:18 > 0:36:21Only one bird in the animal kingdom can fly backwards, name the tinker.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23- Go on, Jonathan?- Hummingbird.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25- That's the one!- Ian, mental agility!
0:36:25 > 0:36:28The hands on my watch have stopped.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30How many times a day will they show the correct time?
0:36:30 > 0:36:32- Go on, Jonathan?- Twice.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34- That's right.- Eddie, music.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38'I'm a good girl gone bad' and was rated 'R' in 2009, what's my name?
0:36:38 > 0:36:41- Jonathan?- Um...Britney Spears?
0:36:41 > 0:36:42No, that's incorrect.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44- Oh, Katherine, what do you think? - Rihanna?
0:36:44 > 0:36:47- Correct!- Oh, Taptackle, sport.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49I've just bowled a turkey down at my local bowling alley,
0:36:49 > 0:36:52so how many consecutive strikes did I get?
0:36:52 > 0:36:55- Oh, Katherine?- Three?
0:36:55 > 0:36:57- Correct!- Jake, nature!
0:36:57 > 0:36:58Mother of nature,
0:36:58 > 0:37:01what land mammal has the longest pregnancy on the planet?
0:37:01 > 0:37:03- Jonathan?- The elephant.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05- You got it!- Amber, showbiz.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09Babysitting for Brangelina sounds like such a delight,
0:37:09 > 0:37:12all together, how many children do they have?
0:37:12 > 0:37:13- Jonathan?- Six.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Correct.
0:37:15 > 0:37:16BUZZER
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Oh, that sound signals the end of the round.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20We've come to the end of the show. It's the big moment.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22Clyde, what are the final scores?
0:37:22 > 0:37:27Well, after a claw-twisting final round, Katherine has eight points,
0:37:27 > 0:37:29but the winner is Jonathan,
0:37:29 > 0:37:30with 13 points!
0:37:30 > 0:37:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:32 > 0:37:33Well done!
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Well, congratulations, Jonathan.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41You win £10,000 for the charity of your choice, who is it going to?
0:37:41 > 0:37:44I'll give it to the Macmillan Cancer charity,
0:37:44 > 0:37:46- which, coincidentally, I know you ran a marathon for?- Yep.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50- So we're both happy today.- I'm very happy about that.- So to Macmillan.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Oh, great, it's a wonderful cause, brilliant.
0:37:52 > 0:37:53Please give a hand to the stars of the show,
0:37:53 > 0:37:55they've been fantastic, ladies and gentlemen,
0:37:55 > 0:37:59the wonderful Katherine Jenkins and the brilliant Jonathan Ross!
0:37:59 > 0:38:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:01 > 0:38:05Well, there's just enough time left for me to say that's all we've got time for tonight,
0:38:05 > 0:38:07so...that's all we've got time for tonight.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Say good night, everyone!
0:38:09 > 0:38:10ALL: Good night!
0:38:10 > 0:38:12Thanks for watching
0:38:12 > 0:38:15and see you next time on That Puppet Game Show, good night!
0:38:15 > 0:38:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:53 > 0:38:54And I quit.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57Oh!
0:38:57 > 0:39:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd