0:00:02 > 0:00:04Thanks for coming on the show, you guys, break an arm.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06No, I think it's "break a leg" in showbiz.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Er, no, we don't say that any more.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10The good news is Darcey Bussell's having the pins removed
0:00:10 > 0:00:12on Thursday so...
0:00:12 > 0:00:15There's nothing physical this week? I get a bit queasy with all of that.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17No, of course not!
0:00:17 > 0:00:18Cancel the Flaming Wall of Death!
0:00:18 > 0:00:22- Hey, guys, wonderful having you on t'show.- Delighted.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Just be loose out there, you know.
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Keep it fresh, keep it spontaneous.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- OK. Yeah?- Yeah, yeah, let's have fun out there.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31- OK!- Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
0:00:34 > 0:00:37welcome to That Puppet Game Show!
0:00:37 > 0:00:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:45 > 0:00:46With our experts...
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Dr Strabismus,
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Amber O'Neill,
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Miss Jemima Taptackle,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Eddie Watts,
0:00:54 > 0:00:55Jake Hamilton-Jones
0:00:55 > 0:00:58and The Amazing Ian!
0:00:58 > 0:01:02With our contestants Tess Daly and Ronan Keating.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03It's time for...
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Please welcome your host, Dougie Colon.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Hey, hey! Here we go! Saturday night again.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Boom! What's down there?
0:01:16 > 0:01:19We don't care! Let's keep moving.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Ho-ho-ho-ho! Oh, dear.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Hey, hey, hey!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25Hello and welcome to That Puppet Game Show.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Here's how the show works.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Two top celebrities go head-to-head over a series of games,
0:01:30 > 0:01:33each masterminded by one of our experts.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35They'll be tried, tested and put through the wash,
0:01:35 > 0:01:39but all in a bid to win £10,000 for a charity of their choice.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:41 > 0:01:46Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome Strictly star the gorgeous Tess Daly,
0:01:46 > 0:01:48and top of the pops - it's only Ronan Keating!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:58 > 0:02:02- Oh! Hello, Ronan, are you all right? - How's it going? - Yeah, not bad, thanks.
0:02:02 > 0:02:08- And welcome to you, Tess Daly. - Nice to see you.- It's Saturday night on BBC One, it's your second home.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09When does the dancing start?!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Are you lonely without Brucie, the governor?
0:02:11 > 0:02:17- I feel quite a home with this little appendage here, this chin, you see...- Oh, oh, so early, so early.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19What would winning That Puppet Game Show mean to you tonight?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22- I'm going all the way, I'm taking him down. I want to win.- Wow!
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- There's only one winner on this show.- And that will be me, Tess.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Yes, Ronan, I'm doing it for the ladies, so you'd better look out.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Nice. Are you willing to punch Keating here, right up the conk?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Whatever it takes, physical violence. I'm going to take him out.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- Anyway, Ronan, Ronan, Ronan. - Yes, Dougie?
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- You must be looking forward to it? - I really am, yeah, I can't wait.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41- Yeah?- I've a very competitive spirit, you know, so I'm...
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- I'm ready for this.- If you win tonight, will it be a better feeling
0:02:44 > 0:02:46than when you won Rear of the Year in 2003?
0:02:46 > 0:02:48That was 2003, man, that's ten years ago.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50The rear's very different this year.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52- Well, it's true!- Yeah, yeah.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55It is weird though, a prize for your bottom? You know, it's a bit,
0:02:55 > 0:02:57"Look at his bum! Give it a prize! Put a crown on it!"
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- Put a crown on it! Put two crowns on it! - I'm rooting for both of you.
0:03:00 > 0:03:04- I have to remain impartial cos I'm a game show host.- Fair enough. - Good luck, both of you.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07Coming up, we'll be playing these fantastic rounds, devised by...
0:03:07 > 0:03:12- THROUGH MONITOR:- '..our brilliant games makers, all here tonight, standing by and ready to play.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14'Ronan, I expect you're guessing...'
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Everything shipshape, Mancie?
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Yes, sir. As you can see, we have two excellent guests.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Hmm, what about the fella in the sparkly suit?
0:03:21 > 0:03:25That's Dougie, sir, he's the host - you hired him.
0:03:25 > 0:03:26Oh, excellent.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31And the, er, ghostly figure of a cow looming over the whole proceedings?
0:03:32 > 0:03:35That's your reflection, in the monitor, sir.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Nice touch! Hmm. Keep up the good work. Hmm.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Thank you! It's always a pleasure.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Right, Round One.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Let's find out which expert you two will be meeting
0:03:44 > 0:03:46in our journey towards the £10,000 prize.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49APPLAUSE
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Music expert Eddie Watts!
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Well, welcome along, Eddie.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Tell us, what is new in the music industry this week?
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Well, the remaining members of The Beach Boys have teamed up
0:04:09 > 0:04:12with Dappy from N-Dubz and Dame Kiri Te Kanawa.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Wow! That sounds interesting. What's the song?
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Oh, they're not recording.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20They just play five-a-side football on a Wednesday night.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21You heard it here first.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23What item are you presenting tonight for us, Eddie?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Tonight, we will be playing Saucissong.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Wow! Hello, Tess Daly and Ronan Keating.- Hello.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36For this game, we will be graced with the musical talents
0:04:36 > 0:04:38of the wonderful Singing Hot Dogs.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41They've been stretching their vocal cords and are ready to perform.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42- Let's meet them now!- Brilliant.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Hello, I'm Eric Hot Dog.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49I'm Clodagh, I like Irish dancing.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51I'm Frank and I like pies.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Hi, my name is Gladys.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56I'm Sebastian, I'm a personal trainer.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Hi, my name is Helen and my favourite colour's lemon.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Great to see you all, guys.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Now then, Tess and Ronan, these Hot Dogs are very, very musical.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Please play close attention.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10# It's much too late to find
0:05:10 > 0:05:12# When you think you've changed your mind
0:05:12 > 0:05:13# You'd better change it back
0:05:13 > 0:05:14# Or we will
0:05:14 > 0:05:16# Both be sorry
0:05:16 > 0:05:20# Don't you want me, baby?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23ALL: # Don't you want me? Oh-oh. #
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- Wow, yeah!- Great!- Aren't they great, guys? Do you love them?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30- Yeah, amazing talent.- Best musical hot dogs in the business.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Check this out - Hot Dogs, shuffle!
0:05:34 > 0:05:36JOLLY MUSIC
0:05:41 > 0:05:42OK, Ronan.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45You're going to squeeze first, cos you won the toss backstage.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47What you need to do is squeeze each one of these Hot Dogs
0:05:47 > 0:05:49in the correct order so they'll sing
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Human League's Don't You Want Me like they just did.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53But if you get one out of sequence,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57you have to hand over your squeezy barbecue tongs to Tess Daly...
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Yeah!- ..situated to your east.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01It's for charity, so give it your best shot.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04There are two points up for grabs. Are you ready?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- Yep.- We're ready. - OK, let's play, Saucissong!
0:06:09 > 0:06:10OK.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14# It's much too late to find... #
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Whoa! That's one!
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Something about "changed your mind", isn't it?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20Er...
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Oh, yes, but who sang it, Ronan Keating? That is the mystery you're here to solve.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25# Or we will... #
0:06:25 > 0:06:26ALL: Oh!
0:06:30 > 0:06:32It's yours, it's all yours.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- OK.- Here we go.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36- HOT DOG GROANS:- # It's much too late to find... #
0:06:36 > 0:06:40- Wow, careful!- Sorry! - Careful, careful!- Bit keen.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44# When you think you've changed your mind... #
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Good work, good work, come on, Tess.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47# Don't you want me...? #
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Oh!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Here we go.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55# It's much too late to find
0:06:55 > 0:06:58# When you think you've changed your mind
0:06:58 > 0:07:00# You'd better change it back... #
0:07:02 > 0:07:03Very good.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05# Don't you want me, baby? #
0:07:05 > 0:07:07ALL: Aww!
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- OK, here we go again.- OK.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13# It's much too late to find
0:07:13 > 0:07:15# When you think you've changed your mind
0:07:15 > 0:07:18# You'd better change it back... #
0:07:18 > 0:07:20AUDIENCE MEMBER: Far right!
0:07:23 > 0:07:24AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT
0:07:24 > 0:07:26# Both be sorry. #
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- OK.- This is hard! This is really hard.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36- You should be better at this than me - you're the musical one! - There's nothing musical about this!
0:07:37 > 0:07:39HOT DOGS ALL SHOUT
0:07:39 > 0:07:42- I didn't mean your singing!- Close your ears.- That's not what I meant.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44HOT DOG: I'm so offended!
0:07:44 > 0:07:46- Ronan, you've done it now. - I'm sorry, here we go.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48# It's much too late to find
0:07:48 > 0:07:51# When you think you've changed your mind
0:07:51 > 0:07:53- # You'd better change it back... # - Oh, yeah!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55# Or we will... #
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Could this be it, could this be it?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00AUDIENCE SHOUT OUT
0:08:00 > 0:08:02# Both be sorry
0:08:03 > 0:08:06# Don't you want me, baby? #
0:08:06 > 0:08:10MUSIC: "Don't You Want Me" by The Human League
0:08:20 > 0:08:22High-five! Love your work. High-five! Love your music!
0:08:22 > 0:08:27- Well done, Ronan. You put all the Hot Dogs in the right order first... - Thank you.- ..so you win the game.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Thank you for playing Saucissong!
0:08:32 > 0:08:33That's the end of Round One.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36To check on points, let's go to our soft-shelled score-keeper
0:08:36 > 0:08:39and my favourite show-business decapod - it's Clyde!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Hey there, D...
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- Er....- Oh! Er, Clyde, are you all right, mate?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Er, yeah, b... WEAKLY: Yeah, yeah.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49- W-W-What you doing?- It's Te-Te...
0:08:49 > 0:08:52It's T-Tess Daly, it's Tess... It's Tess Daly.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Yeah, I know, Tess Daly. The scores, Clyde?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56CLYDE MUMBLES
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Oh. Why don't I help you out here, eh?
0:09:00 > 0:09:04The scores are Tess has got nowt, and Ronan's got two!
0:09:04 > 0:09:05CLYDE MUMBLES
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- Oh. Yeah, thank you, Clyde! - Yeah it's Tess, it's Tess Daly.
0:09:08 > 0:09:09Although I don't know what for!
0:09:14 > 0:09:16HE SIGHS
0:09:16 > 0:09:20This horoscope guy is so amaze-balls!
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Like, for my sign, he says, "You will rise above adversity,"
0:09:23 > 0:09:28and I fully broke a nail and was, like, totally fine about it!
0:09:28 > 0:09:33Oh, wow, that is progress cos last week when you had A split end, we had to medicate you.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38Aries says "You will be hit on the shoulder by a javelin!"
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Shoulder indeed! It landed just below the collarbone!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46What does it say for Aquarius? I need some luck.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Er, "A huge opportunity will come your way!"
0:09:50 > 0:09:52An opportunity, really?
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Maybe this is the year I finally get my own show
0:09:54 > 0:09:57and can cut loose from all these putzes,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59dragging me down all these years.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Did I just say that out loud? - Mm-hmm.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06I've got to work.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Dr Strabismus, what's your sign?
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I am ze sign of Capricorn.
0:10:11 > 0:10:12Do you know what zis means?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- What?- Precisely nothing!
0:10:15 > 0:10:17What is the matter with all of you people?
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Capricorn, "You will have a pleasant and uneventful day."
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Ha! There are millions of Capricorns in the world -
0:10:24 > 0:10:26how can we all have the same day?
0:10:26 > 0:10:28"Unless your mother was a German pretzel bender
0:10:28 > 0:10:30"and your name begins with S, in which case..."
0:10:30 > 0:10:32That does narrow it down a bit.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35"..you will die."
0:10:35 > 0:10:37DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Eddie! Please practise your music elsewhere.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42But that wasn't me!
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Eddie's not the only one with musical talent.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47DISMISSIVE TRUMPET FANFARE
0:10:47 > 0:10:49That one was me!
0:10:49 > 0:10:53Dr Strabismus, you are going to die!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Oh, this is patently ludicrous as you will all be witnessing
0:10:56 > 0:11:00when I make it through this day completely unharmed.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Oh, this needs an adjustment.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Oh! Oh! Oh!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Oh, you see? You see?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Apart from some minor burns
0:11:10 > 0:11:13and a perforated eardrum, I am completely unharmed.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16What did you say?
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Ronan, I think you bonded with t'Hot Dogs. It were like... - I loved them. They're cute, man.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23When you look at something like that, do you just spot it
0:11:23 > 0:11:26and go, "Oh, look, that could be a great band, Pork Zone!"
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- That could be neat, you know? - Yeah, yeah.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29So, one round down, four to go
0:11:29 > 0:11:31in your hunt for the ten grand for charity.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35It's like a roller-coaster ride, except that I've not been sick on anyone yet.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Early days, though - that might happen later.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39On to Round Two. Let's see who we've got next!
0:11:45 > 0:11:49Nature expert Jake Hamilton-Jones.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Welcome, Jake.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Great tan - have you been trekking in t'desert?
0:11:58 > 0:12:00No, got trapped in my sunbed.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Oh, well, that's very interesting. - It was a beautiful Sunday evening.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05I covered myself in the usual scented oils,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08popped on a little Norah Jones, and laid down for a tan.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut, trapping me inside
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- and leaving me for dead! - Oh! Sounds hairy!
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Yeah, the memory never fades.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Precarious. Anyway, what round have you got in store for us?
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Tonight, we will playing Dart Attack!
0:12:27 > 0:12:29- G'day, Ronan.- G'day, Jake.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32You're about to take part in one of the most dangerous, hideous
0:12:32 > 0:12:36- and downright barking-mad games known to beast or man.- Yowzer!
0:12:36 > 0:12:39You're going to be using this blowpipe, right?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- And heaps of poison darts.- Wow.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Don't you worry - they're usually pretty safe.- OK.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Like my dear old nana used to say,
0:12:46 > 0:12:50"Whatever you do, don't breathe in when you're meant to blow out."
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I like that. I'll remember that.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59You can keep that with you as a little nugget for the rest of your life as well.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Reveal the target!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03- No! - RONAN LAUGHS
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Oh, I think I like this game.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Behold in front of you the beautiful Tess.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14- Around her, seven targets.- OK.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18The aim of this challenge is to burst as many of those targets as you can in 45 seconds.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Don't worry, Tess love, you'll get a chance for your revenge too.
0:13:22 > 0:13:23I'll be getting my own back.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Fenton! Fire it up!
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Oh, right. OK, OK.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32When that wheel starts rocking, don't come a-knocking!
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Three, two, one, blow like billyo!
0:13:37 > 0:13:38Come on, mate, you can do it.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42Spin me faster!
0:13:42 > 0:13:43- Come on!- Oh, one.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46There you go! You nailed it!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Oh, this is quite good fun!- Beauty!
0:13:49 > 0:13:53That one's gone straight to Thunderdome, mate!
0:13:53 > 0:13:54Is that all you've got, Ronan?
0:13:54 > 0:13:56- Is that it?- Oh, you nailed it! Beauty!
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Come on, keep going! One more!
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Right in the tree!
0:14:02 > 0:14:06- Come on!- Come on, Ronan, you got it!- Two!
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Wow, great shooting, Ronan!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Thank you!- Ripper!
0:14:12 > 0:14:13My head's gone, I'm spinning.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- Amazing job. You got all seven targets!- Thanks, Jake!
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- I can't believe it.- Fantastic!
0:14:17 > 0:14:22- Thanks for all that advice beforehand - that really stuck with me.- You certainly knew how to blow!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24All right, well, here comes Tess.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28You look absolutely gorgeous for someone who's just been ankles over kneecaps!
0:14:28 > 0:14:30It's your turn, Ronan, off you go.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Good luck, Tess. Thanks, Jake. - Close your eyes, close your mouth. - Tess, come over here.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Are you ready for your revenge? - It's game on.
0:14:36 > 0:14:41- Ronan got all seven targets, so the best you can hope for is a tie. - All seven? No pressure, then, Jake.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Listen, if you don't think you can get all seven,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- just try and hit him in the eyes. - Yeah?
0:14:45 > 0:14:49- It won't help you for this game, but in future rounds it might disorient him.- All right, good.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52All right, Ronan? Are you ready to go down under?
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- No!- Fenton, spin the celebrity!
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Three, two, one, blow!
0:15:00 > 0:15:02It's... Woo-hoo!
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Come on, you can get it! There we go!
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Wow, that was so close.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Oh, right in the...!
0:15:14 > 0:15:19What an awful show! Fancy still making it in black and white.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23- It isn't in black and white, Gran. - Oh, oh...
0:15:23 > 0:15:27Oh, my goodness, I've gone colour-blind! Oh, oh, oh!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- Shush, Mum, we're watching telly! - Oh!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34There you go! Beauty!
0:15:36 > 0:15:3720 seconds.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Great shooting, Tess.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Plenty of time, Tess.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Come on, love, you can do it.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Oh, hit the corner!
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Oh, right in the Bilbo Baggins!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- That was very close!- Almost.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Five seconds, Tess, five seconds!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Whoa-ho!
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Oh!
0:15:59 > 0:16:03Great round, guys, you've both been really solid oaks.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Ronan managed to hit all seven targets,
0:16:06 > 0:16:07and Tess, you only got three,
0:16:07 > 0:16:10but at least you managed to hit Ronan a few times.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12But the winner of this game is Ronan -
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- you'll get two points added to your score, mate, great job.- Thank you.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17And thanks for playing Dart Attack!
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Well done, your man Ronan.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Let's see how two more points will affect the scores.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26It's over to our resident score-keeper Clyde!
0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Hi, Tess!- Hi, Clyde!
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Hi, I got you, er...
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- I got you these flowers. - Oh, thanks, Clyde, they're lovely.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Oh, well, you... You, er...
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Yeah, the scores please, Clyde!
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Oh, yeah, sure, sure, um...
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Well, let's see... Tess, er, you know, she doesn't, er,
0:16:41 > 0:16:44she doesn't have any yet, unfortunately.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- But she played great, didn't she? AUDIENCE:- Yeah!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Oh, and er, I think the other guy's got a few, I dunno.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52That'll be four points for Ronan! Thank you, Clyde!
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Yeah, I'll just go and put these in water. Oh!
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Oh! Is she blowing a kiss?
0:16:56 > 0:16:57Hey, hey, hey!
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Uh! £30 on scratchcards for zip!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Where's this big opportunity?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08You are wasting your time with those scratchcards, Ian.
0:17:08 > 0:17:13These horoscopes are simply junk food for the feeble-minded.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Oh, but the comic strip on the other hand... Oh, it's Garfield!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Ha! Oh, it's totally Jon's fault
0:17:18 > 0:17:21for leaving that lasagne on the window sill!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Oh, sorry about that, mate,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26just cleaning out the old poison-dart blow pipe.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29You see, logically explicable.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Who the hell put that cactus on my desk?
0:17:33 > 0:17:37Do none of you people know the basic principles of feng shui?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41You see, and again, logically explicable.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Oh, I don't know, Doc, maybe there's something in it.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46The stars are millions of light years away.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49How can they possibly exert that kind of pull?
0:17:49 > 0:17:50EXPLOSION
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Heard the word "pull"
0:17:53 > 0:17:56and naturally assumed we were clay pigeon shooting.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57Logically explicable.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Ah! Oh, look! Now Garfield is eating lasagne!
0:18:01 > 0:18:05He certainly gets into some scrapes!
0:18:05 > 0:18:07- Well, Ronan, well done - expert shooting.- Thank you.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09You didn't grow up in the Amazon, did you?
0:18:09 > 0:18:12There were parts of Dublin that were like the Amazon, yes, so...
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Oh, yeah, they're both wet and very green.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- Yeah, exactly!- And, Tess, you were brilliant at being, um, spun around.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Shame there weren't points for that.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22A shame, eh? I got three. But he was better than me.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- All seven of them.- But don't panic - there's still plenty of time...- OK.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28..to catch up on winning that £10,000 for a charity of your choice.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Let's find out who's in store for Round Three.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Show-business expert Amber O'Neill!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Oh, welcome, Amber! So what game have you got in store for us, Amb?
0:18:48 > 0:18:53Tonight, Dougie, we will be playing Life's a Speech!
0:18:59 > 0:19:02Tess and Ronan, welcome so much to Life's A Speech.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04It's great to see you both here
0:19:04 > 0:19:07and Ronan, you're just about my size, you know!
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Yeah? Perfect, Amber, we're perfect!
0:19:10 > 0:19:12We all know what it's like being a celebrity.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16You're always having to go and take part in grand openings
0:19:16 > 0:19:19of restaurants and nightclubs and envelopes.
0:19:19 > 0:19:23- So, I've prepared a glamorous speech for each of you...- Oh.- OK.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26..in which you'll be giving your star blessing
0:19:26 > 0:19:28to a deserving establishment.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- However, I've left out some of the words.- Oh.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Your job is to read the speech and fill in the blanks.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Whoever fills in the most blanks correctly will win the game
0:19:37 > 0:19:40and two points will be added to your total,
0:19:40 > 0:19:43in your race for the charity prize.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44Oh, I need these two points, Amber.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47OK, you do, and we're going to start with you, Tess.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Ronan, you go off and wait backstage. - OK. Good luck, Tess.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Thank you very much, very sporting of him, Amber.- Thanks.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- Come on, good luck, you CAN do this. - Wish me luck, honey, wish me luck.
0:19:55 > 0:19:56Make your way to the podium.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00You're live in three...
0:20:00 > 0:20:03two, one, cue!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Ladies and gentlemen,
0:20:05 > 0:20:09I am honoured to be here to open this fabulous new cocktail bar.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13How unusual to name it after the Strictly 2012 winner...
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Louis Smith.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18And what a setting for this bar, there really is nowhere as beautiful
0:20:18 > 0:20:22as the largest of the Channel Islands which is, of course...
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Jersey.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26But now I'm here and I can't wait for a drink
0:20:26 > 0:20:29and I'm really looking forward to a good Screwdriver,
0:20:29 > 0:20:30which is made of...
0:20:32 > 0:20:34- ..vodka and lemonade? - INCORRECT BUZZER
0:20:34 > 0:20:36- Raspberry, cranberry? - INCORRECT BUZZER
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Mmm, tasty, right.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40But my new favourite is called Long Island Iced Tess
0:20:40 > 0:20:43which includes the three flavours of Neapolitan ice cream,
0:20:43 > 0:20:45strawberry, vanilla and chocolate!
0:20:45 > 0:20:47And with a twist of stout.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I've only ever made it once and it served...
0:20:49 > 0:20:52And served it to the current British Chancellor of the Exchequer...
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Oh, my God, don't...
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Ridiculous!
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Poor boy, he could hardly stand up,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01he was about as balanced as his latest budget.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Now, he managed four drinks an hour over six hours,
0:21:03 > 0:21:05meaning he drank a total of 24 drinks.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Pretty soon this bar will be flooded with celebrities
0:21:07 > 0:21:10such as all five members of the Saturdays...
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Er, Molly, Una, Vanessa, Rochelle and...
0:21:15 > 0:21:17..Frankie!
0:21:17 > 0:21:18As huge fans of chess,
0:21:18 > 0:21:21they'll love the fact that this bar has a chess set on every table.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24My favourite piece is the one that can only move diagonally across...
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Of course, I'm a huge fan of chess. Which is of course the, er...Queen.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- INCORRECT BUZZER - The knight?
0:21:29 > 0:21:33- INCORRECT BUZZER - As well as chess, the bar also has a snooker table.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35You'll find all eight coloured balls
0:21:35 > 0:21:36you'll need to play the game...
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Red, yellow, green, white, black, blue, orange...
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- INCORRECT BUZZER - Pink and...
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Blue, red, pink, yellow, orange, green, black, white...
0:21:46 > 0:21:48So come on, the drinks are on me -
0:21:48 > 0:21:50that is as long as your drink of choice is a cocktail
0:21:50 > 0:21:52of ice and tap water. Cheers!
0:21:53 > 0:21:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Chancellor of....- Tess! Tess! Come over here. You were amazing!
0:22:01 > 0:22:05- Oh, could have been better, though. - No, you were fantastic! - Of course I could.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Ronan, can you hold these two glowing isotopes for me?
0:22:09 > 0:22:11I have to scratch my bottom.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13I'm on stage in a minute, man, so...
0:22:13 > 0:22:16It'll only take a moment. It's killing me.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20Ahh, hmm, oh, that's the spot.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- Hmm...- Shouldn't I be wearing gloves or something?
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Gloves? You should be behind a lead wall!
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Tomorrow morning, you will wake up like the Incredible Hulk!
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- If you know what I mean. - Ronan, you're on.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Have a good show!
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Now, listen, honey, you've got to go backstage,
0:22:38 > 0:22:40but you REALLY did great.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42OK, Amber, thank you very much, honey.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- And I'll get Ronan back.- See you later!- Ronan, we need you!
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- How did she do?- She did OK.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- It's your go now.- OK.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- You're going to be great. - Thanks, Amber, I'm nervous.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54- You should be.- I should be.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56And you're live in...
0:22:56 > 0:22:59three, two, one, cue!
0:22:59 > 0:23:03It gives me great pleasure to attend the opening of this
0:23:03 > 0:23:05luxurious new gourmet restaurant.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08It delights me just as much
0:23:08 > 0:23:11as when three of my solo studio albums went to number one in the UK.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13They were of course...
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Ronan...
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Destination...
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Ten Years of Hits? - INCORRECT BUZZER
0:23:20 > 0:23:21Oh, my God!
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Personally I'm not a big fan of haute cuisine,
0:23:24 > 0:23:26my favourite food is the same as Paddington Bear's...
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Jam sandwiches. - INCORRECT BUZZER
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- Er, peanut butter sandwiches? - INCORRECT BUZZER
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Which I first tasted on a crazy night out
0:23:33 > 0:23:35with the tycoon in The Apprentice, Lord Sugar.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37I have nothing but respect for the bold decision to dress
0:23:37 > 0:23:40the waiters as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Teenage Mutant Ninja...
0:23:43 > 0:23:48Oh, Leonardo, Michelangelo Raphael and Donatello.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Oh, turtle power!
0:23:49 > 0:23:54You can have a set menu for 25.50 or the banquet for £19 more,
0:23:54 > 0:23:56which comes to...
0:23:56 > 0:23:59£25, £35, £44.90.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- INCORRECT BUZZER - Eat at this restaurant
0:24:02 > 0:24:04and you're guaranteed to be full as a six-seater car
0:24:04 > 0:24:06containing the six main characters from Friends...
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- Rachel, Rachel, and Rachel. - INCORRECT BUZZER
0:24:13 > 0:24:14It was only ever about Rachel.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16I predict big things for this restaurant,
0:24:16 > 0:24:19and expect critics will soon be flocking here
0:24:19 > 0:24:23from all eight countries that make up the G8...
0:24:23 > 0:24:25America, England...
0:24:25 > 0:24:26INCORRECT BUZZER
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Er, France, Germany...
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Japan, Ireland...
0:24:32 > 0:24:33INCORRECT BUZZER
0:24:33 > 0:24:35..Italy, France...
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- INCORRECT BUZZER - Said France.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Er, there's a lot of people.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43Luckily, there's a really big lift to get them all in.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44I'm going down.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Ronan, come over here.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Oh, my God!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- Oh, you were great.- I need a hug!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Oh, you were great. Oh, oh, oh!
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- Oh! Oh! Stop that!- Wait, wait,
0:24:59 > 0:25:00- Ronan...- That was hard work!
0:25:00 > 0:25:06I would go to dinner with you any time and I would certainly take your order.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Let's get Tess back. Tess!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- Tess, that's hard work. - It's much harder than it looks.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13You both did wonderfully.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Oh, dear, oh, dear, typical dizzy blonde.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Yeah, and Tess Daly's no better!
0:25:22 > 0:25:25You both did wonderfully well, as I knew you would,
0:25:25 > 0:25:30- but Tess got the most answers correct so wins the two points!- Woo-hoo!
0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Yeah!- Wow!- Thank you so much for playing Life's a Speech!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- Thanks, Amber.- Awesome.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Oh, well done, the Daly, two points for your total.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41With three rounds down, the competition is heating up.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Oh, I'm scared to say it now.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45It's time for the scores with Clyde.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Who's in the lead, my little crabby crab?
0:25:47 > 0:25:48HE GRUNTS
0:25:48 > 0:25:53- Oh, er, hello there, Tess! - Hi, Clyde!- Just getting in a light workout, no big deal. Hmm, hmm.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Clyde? I'm just wondering what your wife might think about all this.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Er, don't worry, Dougie, crabs are polygamous by nature.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- I'm sure she's fine with it. WIFE:- CLYDE!
0:26:02 > 0:26:05You get down here, right now!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- I was just, er...- Right now!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Yes, peaches.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Er, Irish has four, Miss Daly has two.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Thank you very much, Clyde!
0:26:14 > 0:26:18Hey, Amber, that big opportunity finally showed up.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Wow, Ian, that's great.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Turns out there's a guy in Nigeria got 5 million.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25All he needs is help transferring it.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27I sent him my bank details and PIN.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31- Time to sit back and watch the money flow.- Oooh...
0:26:31 > 0:26:35- This time next week, I'll be in Bar-ba-dos.- Wow.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Bar-ba-dos...
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Dr Strabismus! Come quick!
0:26:40 > 0:26:43A member of the Nobel Prize Committee wants to see you!
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Oh, oh, who would have thought they would come all the way here to see me?
0:26:46 > 0:26:48It's wonderful, come on, hurry this way.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51- I'm a little bit nervous.- You'll be fine. Come on, quick, quick, quick.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53OK, where are the Swedes?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55- Oh, right in here, Dr S.- Oh, OK.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57They're waiting for you.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59OK, how do I look?
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- Oh, like a winner.- OK.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04- Get in there.- Well...
0:27:04 > 0:27:05It is such a great honour to...
0:27:05 > 0:27:07What? Wait!
0:27:07 > 0:27:10You're not a member of the Nobel Committee, you're a mop!
0:27:10 > 0:27:12What is going on? Let me out!
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Let me out!- Sorry, Dr S, it's for your own protection.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Well done, Jake.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Let me out! Let me out!
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Oh, well, well done, Tess Daly. You're great thinking on your feet,
0:27:22 > 0:27:24and you're only two points behind Ronan,
0:27:24 > 0:27:26so the competition's really heating up.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27- Anyway, Ronan... - "Anyway, Ronan", yes?
0:27:27 > 0:27:30- Anyway, Ronan.- Thanks, pal. - Let's have a little chat.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33With those skills, you'd be struggling to get a job as a waiter
0:27:33 > 0:27:35at a restaurant, let alone opening one!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- Yeah, but the funny thing about you...- Yeah?
0:27:37 > 0:27:41- You knew all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.- Respect!- But not the names of your own albums.- Hmm.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44I was thinking, how do you promote them? Do you go...
0:27:44 > 0:27:49- IRISH ACCENT:- "Here's me new album. Don't know what it's called, "but give us 14 quid. Cowabunga!"
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Is that what happens? - Exactly like that!- Yeah, exactly.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55- It's amazing what that'll do for you.- Yeah, well played.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59OK, right, still everything to play for in that hunt for £10,000 for charity.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Let's find out which expert is up next.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Science expert Dr Strabismus!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22Is there a doctor in the house?
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Where's Dr Strabismus? He's supposed to be on stage!
0:28:25 > 0:28:27I have been illegally incarcerated!
0:28:27 > 0:28:29It's for his own good, Mancie.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31We can't risk sending him out there - he could die!
0:28:31 > 0:28:34- It's a risk I'm prepared to take. - But his life's at stake.
0:28:34 > 0:28:36It's a horoscope!
0:28:36 > 0:28:40Luckily, I have prepared for this very eventuality
0:28:40 > 0:28:41- and had myself cloned.- What?
0:28:41 > 0:28:46Yes, the Strabismus you have locked in here is a genetic copy.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48How clever! So where's the original?
0:28:48 > 0:28:52Ha-ha-ha, you can't catch me, suckers!
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Woo!
0:28:54 > 0:28:56We seem to be having some technical difficulties,
0:28:56 > 0:28:58- ladies and gentlemen.... - I'm here!
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Oh! Dr Strabismus! Better late than never!
0:29:00 > 0:29:02My apologies!
0:29:02 > 0:29:06I was lured into a cupboard by a Swede who turned out to be a mop!
0:29:06 > 0:29:07But enough already.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10I'm alive, so let's just boogie, boogie, boogie
0:29:10 > 0:29:12till we just can't boogie no more!
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Or, if you prefer, we could play a science-based game.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Well, perhaps both, if there's time.
0:29:17 > 0:29:18Take it away, Doc!
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Join us now as we play Blow By Blow!
0:29:26 > 0:29:31Welcome, Tess, and welcome, Ronan, to Blow by Blow.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35I can't watch! He's going to die!
0:29:35 > 0:29:37This is nothing.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40You should have seen my act at The Royal Variety Performance in '96.
0:29:40 > 0:29:41- Oh...- Now that was dying.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Behind you, you will see that my hot dog assistants
0:29:46 > 0:29:49have just lit the last of many candles.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53To be exact, 100 candles on each side.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56This will be a race for you to extinguish your candles
0:29:56 > 0:30:01as quickly as possible, using only human-generated air.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04The air that comes through the lips will qualify,
0:30:04 > 0:30:07- and only the air through the lips will qualify.- Yeah, Ronan.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10I was thinking of something else!
0:30:10 > 0:30:15- Now, you will notice that the final candle has been contained...- Yes.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18..and for the hot dog to lift the container,
0:30:18 > 0:30:22you must first have blown out all of the 99 candles.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25So, if you are both happy, it's time to begin the round.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27- So get to your starting places please.- OK.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31- It's on, Keating!- It's on, Tess!
0:30:31 > 0:30:32Starting position.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36- Are you ready, Tess?- Yes!
0:30:36 > 0:30:38- Are you ready, Ronan?- Yes!
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Take one last breath.
0:30:40 > 0:30:43Three, two, one, blow!
0:30:47 > 0:30:50Blow! You must blow out all of the candles!
0:30:50 > 0:30:54Remember, don't try this at home - leave it to the professionals!
0:30:54 > 0:30:57Blow! Tess is ahead! I think she is!
0:30:57 > 0:30:58I think Tess is ahead!
0:30:58 > 0:31:01- DOUGIE:- Yeah, I think she is! - She is!- It's close, but she's ahead.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04No, Ronan, there is one still behind you! You must blow out all the candles!
0:31:08 > 0:31:11You must use extreme exhalation!
0:31:15 > 0:31:17You have left one!
0:31:17 > 0:31:19No, Tess, there is one still behind you!
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Oh, Elton John could write a song about this game!
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- Oh, no, Ronan has left one at the back!- Oh, Ro...
0:31:30 > 0:31:33Oh, Tess has also left one behind her!
0:31:33 > 0:31:35- Oh, wait!- Oh, this is so close!
0:31:37 > 0:31:38Who's going to take it?
0:31:38 > 0:31:40- HOT DOG:- Nearly there. That's it, come on!
0:31:40 > 0:31:42- You must blow them all out!- Ready!
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Here comes Ronan!
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- Ah, he has blown it out! Oh!- Oooh!
0:31:49 > 0:31:52Yes, yes, yes! We have a winner!
0:31:52 > 0:31:54We have a winner!
0:31:54 > 0:31:56Look at this! I do all my own stunts, see that?
0:31:56 > 0:31:59This is amazing. Remember, don't try this at home, kids.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02That's right, kids, luckily I was wearing safety goggles.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04Yes, very good.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07You were quite a spirited player - the spirit is all over you!
0:32:07 > 0:32:10- It's all over me! - Well, this is fantastic.
0:32:10 > 0:32:14Ronan, you have won the round, by blowing out all 100 candles...
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Well done.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- ..and two points will be added to your total.- Woo-hoo!
0:32:18 > 0:32:22- Thank you. Thanks, Doc. - Congratulations.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25- Thank you very much.- And thank you for playing Blow By Blow!
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Well, two points there for Ronan.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32So Clyde, four rounds down, what's that done to the scores?
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Aah, aah.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Er, Clyde, what's happened?
0:32:37 > 0:32:41Er, no big deal, just a little misunderstanding with the wife.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43She's fine, though - I set her straight.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46- WIFE:- Clyde, I can hear you!
0:32:46 > 0:32:48Er, scores are...
0:32:48 > 0:32:52Life's A Rollercoaster has six, and, er, beautiful Tess has two.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54- WIFE:- Clyde!- Guh!
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Er, thank you very much, Clyde!
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Trouble in paradise, I'm afraid.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02You know, Monkey, astrology is an incredible thing.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04It's amazing how the ancients looked up at the sky
0:33:04 > 0:33:08and just from a few stars conjured a picture of an archer,
0:33:08 > 0:33:12a winged horse, a whole pantheon of mythological creatures.
0:33:12 > 0:33:16I like to watch reality TV and movies with car chases.
0:33:17 > 0:33:19You are a simple monkey.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23You see, entirely safe and non-fatal.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26QED.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29- MONKEY HUMS - Oh!
0:33:31 > 0:33:33- Oopsie.- You can...
0:33:33 > 0:33:37- SLOWED DOWN:- Dr Strabismus!
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Oh, look! Ah!
0:33:42 > 0:33:43THUD!
0:33:43 > 0:33:45Did me best.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47Are you OK? Can you hear me?
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Oh! So it's true!
0:33:50 > 0:33:55Everything that I've ever believed about science is rendered pointless
0:33:55 > 0:33:59and all because I was born on March the 11th.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01- You were born on March the 11th? - Uh-hm.
0:34:01 > 0:34:06- You are not a Capricorn, you're Pisces!- OK.
0:34:06 > 0:34:07Let's get back.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11Ah! Pisces, "You will narrowly escape death before your clone
0:34:11 > 0:34:15"is locked in a closet on a celebrity game show.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18"You will then trip up over a turtle and sprain your ankle!"
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Let me see that!
0:34:20 > 0:34:21Wow, aargh!
0:34:21 > 0:34:23I'm sorry.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25Wait! No, no, no, no, no, no!
0:34:25 > 0:34:30He is a tortoise - it's a completely different species from turtle.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32- I'm still completely vindicated! - Hmm!
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Ouch!
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- Well done, Ronan Keating. Brilliant. - Oh, that was hard work.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40It is hard work, it must be.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43- And look at the state of me.- He's covered in wax!- Wax all over me.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45- I know. You know the dry cleaning bill?- Yeah?
0:34:45 > 0:34:48- Don't be bothering us with it. - Oh, you're getting it!
0:34:48 > 0:34:51- And hard luck, Tess Daly. - So close, Dougie.
0:34:51 > 0:34:53It were close but you're only four points behind.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55- It was close, OK.- You can actually win on the last round.- OK.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57So, are you feeling confident?
0:34:57 > 0:35:00I'm going to give it everything that I've got to beat the Keating.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02You could turn this around, Tess.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05Let's find out as we play That Puppet End Game with me, Dougie Colon!
0:35:11 > 0:35:12And here we are!
0:35:12 > 0:35:15Tess, you have got two points. Ronan, you've got six.
0:35:15 > 0:35:16So it's all to play for.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Either one of you could be winning that £10,000
0:35:18 > 0:35:20for the charity of your choice.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22For this round, knowledge is points-winning power
0:35:22 > 0:35:24as our six experts will ask you questions,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27based on their specialist subjects. For every question you get right,
0:35:27 > 0:35:29a point will be added to your final total.
0:35:29 > 0:35:33There they all are, some of the finest minds in Britain.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35- That is correct! - And Amber as well.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Wow, thank you!
0:35:37 > 0:35:39There we go. Are you all ready with your questions?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41ALL: Oh, yes.
0:35:42 > 0:35:43Great.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46This week, we begin with...
0:35:46 > 0:35:47Jake, nature.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51I was once run down by the fastest animal on land - what animal is it?
0:35:51 > 0:35:52- Wow, Ronan?- A jaguar.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54Missed it, mate.
0:35:54 > 0:35:55Oh, Tess, full question to you.
0:35:55 > 0:35:56- I know what it is!- Cheetah.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- You got it, love!- Ah! I knew that, I knew that, I knew that!
0:35:59 > 0:36:00Right, Dr Strabismus, science.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02As your doctor,
0:36:02 > 0:36:05I recommend you watch your intake of sodium chloride....
0:36:05 > 0:36:08- Ooh, Ronan?- Salt.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09Absolutely correct!
0:36:09 > 0:36:12Oh, well played, lightning. Amber, showbiz.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16My royal gal pal Kate Middleton is the Duchess of which city?
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- Oh, Tess Daly?- Cambridge.
0:36:19 > 0:36:20Correct!
0:36:20 > 0:36:21Eddie, music.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24I was sent some flowers from Reg Dwight.
0:36:24 > 0:36:26By which stage name is he better known?
0:36:26 > 0:36:29- Oh, Ronan?- Oh! That was a draw!
0:36:29 > 0:36:31- No way!- It was!
0:36:31 > 0:36:33- Sir Elton John.- Correct.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Ian, mental agility.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39How many words have I used in this question?
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Ronan?
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Nine.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45- That's correct!- Wow! Boo-ya!
0:36:45 > 0:36:46Taptackle, sport.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49I'm a dab hand at archery.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51I always hit the central ring. What colour is it?
0:36:51 > 0:36:53- Oh, Ronan?- Black.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55- Incorrect.- Oh, Tess?
0:36:55 > 0:36:56- Red?- It's yellow.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58Oh, Dr Strabismus, science.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00The name of which piece of lab equipment
0:37:00 > 0:37:03is cockney rhyming slang for "an earner"?
0:37:03 > 0:37:05- Ronan?- Bunsen burner.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08- That is correct!- Eddie, music.
0:37:08 > 0:37:12Which Dream Girl's on-stage alter ego is Mrs Carter?
0:37:12 > 0:37:15- Oh, Tess?- Beyonce?
0:37:15 > 0:37:17- Correct. - Ian, mental agility?
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- END-OF-SHOW KLAXON - Oh, that sound signals the end of the round!
0:37:20 > 0:37:24Wow, it's the big moment. Clyde, what are the final scores?
0:37:24 > 0:37:29Well, after a shell-clenching final round, my sweet, sweet Tess
0:37:29 > 0:37:34has five points, but the winner is Ronan with ten points!
0:37:34 > 0:37:38- Thank you!- Well played! - Well deserved!
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I love your work! You did fine!
0:37:40 > 0:37:43Congratulations, Ronan, you win £10,000
0:37:43 > 0:37:46for the charity of your choice - who is it going to?
0:37:46 > 0:37:48It's going to the Marie Keating Foundation,
0:37:48 > 0:37:51which is my charity I set up after my mum passed away from cancer.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54- So, thank you very much.- A wonderful cause, no problem.- Cheers.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Please give a hand to the stars of the show - they've been fantastic sports.
0:37:57 > 0:38:01Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous Tess Daly and the delightful Ronan Keating!
0:38:01 > 0:38:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:03 > 0:38:07Well, there's just enough time for me to say "that's all we've got time for tonight", so...
0:38:07 > 0:38:10That's all we've got time for tonight! Say goodbye, everyone!
0:38:10 > 0:38:13- ALL: Good night! Good night, everyone!- Bye!
0:38:13 > 0:38:16Thanks for watching. See you next time on That Puppet Game Show! Good night!
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:38:51 > 0:38:54Wait until the ladies get a load of us.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57With my body and your brains, we'll be unstoppable.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00I'm afraid I'm going away for a luxury cruise.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02But where did you get the money?
0:39:02 > 0:39:06When you cloned me, you also cloned your credit card! Ha-ha!
0:39:06 > 0:39:07Why, you...
0:39:07 > 0:39:10I can't stay mad at him - he's too handsome.