0:00:01 > 0:00:04# I love you dearly, dearly
0:00:04 > 0:00:08# And I want you to love me
0:00:08 > 0:00:13# You are my honey, honeysuckle
0:00:13 > 0:00:18# I am the bee. #
0:00:23 > 0:00:26FANFARE
0:00:28 > 0:00:31CHEERING
0:00:38 > 0:00:40CHEERING
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Once again!
0:00:45 > 0:00:48Good evening, ladies and...
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- ALL:- Gentlemen!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Celebrants...
0:00:53 > 0:00:54- ALL:- Ooh...
0:00:54 > 0:00:58..of the stimulant celeritousness...
0:00:59 > 0:01:00LAUGHTER
0:01:00 > 0:01:04...speed of the horseless carriage,
0:01:04 > 0:01:07we give you the omni-participant,
0:01:07 > 0:01:10unparalleled
0:01:10 > 0:01:13Players' Theatre!
0:01:13 > 0:01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:18 > 0:01:20# Shout hurrah with a motorcar
0:01:20 > 0:01:22# All on the road to Brighton
0:01:22 > 0:01:24# We stop for none In our race we run
0:01:24 > 0:01:25# Our speed we nearly heighten
0:01:25 > 0:01:28# Stopping and starting and rounding and parking
0:01:28 > 0:01:29# The horses we all frighten
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# We jolt and jar in a motorcar
0:01:32 > 0:01:34# All on the road to Brighton
0:01:34 > 0:01:36# Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
0:01:36 > 0:01:37# Hi, hi, hi!
0:01:39 > 0:01:43# There's a lovely girl named Florrie
0:01:43 > 0:01:47# But for short we call her Flo
0:01:47 > 0:01:51# And she really feels quite sorry
0:01:51 > 0:01:55# The boys all love her so
0:01:55 > 0:01:59# She's a neat little, sweet little icicle
0:01:59 > 0:02:03# Her heart must be made of snow
0:02:03 > 0:02:08# She once used to ride on a bicycle
0:02:08 > 0:02:11# But now she prefers to go
0:02:11 > 0:02:16# On a motorcar
0:02:16 > 0:02:20# Oh, Flo, why do you go
0:02:20 > 0:02:24# Riding along on your motorcar
0:02:24 > 0:02:28# People'll say you're peculiar
0:02:28 > 0:02:30# Singular
0:02:30 > 0:02:31# So you are
0:02:31 > 0:02:35# Oh, Flo, do let me go
0:02:35 > 0:02:39# I'll be your guiding star
0:02:39 > 0:02:41# There's room for two
0:02:41 > 0:02:42# Me and you
0:02:42 > 0:02:46# On your elegant motorcar
0:02:46 > 0:02:49# There's room for two
0:02:49 > 0:02:50# Me and you
0:02:50 > 0:02:53# On your elegant motor!
0:02:59 > 0:03:02# Johnny O'Connor bought an automobile
0:03:02 > 0:03:05# He took his sweetheart for a ride one Sunday
0:03:05 > 0:03:08# Johnny was dressed up in his best Sunday clothes
0:03:08 > 0:03:12# She nestled close to his side
0:03:12 > 0:03:15# Things went just dandy till they got down the road
0:03:15 > 0:03:18# Then something happened to the old machinery
0:03:18 > 0:03:19# That engine got his goat
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# Off went his hat and coat
0:03:21 > 0:03:24# Everything needed repair
0:03:24 > 0:03:25# He'd have to get under
0:03:25 > 0:03:27# Get out and get under
0:03:27 > 0:03:30# To fix his little machine
0:03:30 > 0:03:33# He was just dying to cuddle his queen
0:03:33 > 0:03:35# But every minute
0:03:35 > 0:03:36# When he'd begin it
0:03:36 > 0:03:38# He'd have to get under
0:03:38 > 0:03:40# Get out and get under
0:03:40 > 0:03:42# Then he'd get back at the wheel
0:03:42 > 0:03:45# A dozen times they'd start to hug and kiss
0:03:45 > 0:03:48# And then the darned old engine it would miss
0:03:48 > 0:03:50# And then he'd have to get under
0:03:50 > 0:03:52# Get out and get under
0:03:52 > 0:03:55# And fix up his automobile
0:04:01 > 0:04:03# He'd have to get under
0:04:03 > 0:04:04# Get out and get under
0:04:04 > 0:04:10# To fix up his automobile. #
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Of course you're quite right, sir - I heard you say it -
0:04:24 > 0:04:27the really dangerous job is for that man who has to go in front
0:04:27 > 0:04:29with the red flag, isn't it?
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Now, from France...
0:04:32 > 0:04:33..we give you
0:04:33 > 0:04:36pulchritudinously, cyclonic...
0:04:37 > 0:04:41..Mademoiselle Marie-Ange!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47BAND PLAYS
0:05:11 > 0:05:13APPLAUSE
0:05:35 > 0:05:37APPLAUSE
0:06:08 > 0:06:10APPLAUSE
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Vive l'entente cordiale!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59CHEERING
0:06:59 > 0:07:02And our own debonair King Edward VII,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04may he lose a little weight.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06And now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:07:06 > 0:07:12over La Manche to mercurial maritime mountebankery!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- ALL:- Ooh!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Seaside hijinks.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18On the esplanade...
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Mr John Inman
0:07:20 > 0:07:23and Mr Barry Howard!
0:07:23 > 0:07:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:07:30 > 0:07:32# Jeremiah Jones
0:07:32 > 0:07:33# A ladies' man was he
0:07:33 > 0:07:36# With every pretty girl he loved to spoon
0:07:37 > 0:07:39# Till he found a wife
0:07:39 > 0:07:41# And down beside the sea
0:07:41 > 0:07:43# They went to Margate for their honeymoon
0:07:43 > 0:07:47# And as they strolled along the promenade
0:07:47 > 0:07:51# With his little wife just newly wed
0:07:51 > 0:07:53# He got an awful scare
0:07:53 > 0:07:55# When someone walking there
0:07:55 > 0:07:59# Came up to him and winked and said
0:07:59 > 0:08:01# Hello, hello
0:08:01 > 0:08:02# Who's your lady friend
0:08:02 > 0:08:06# Who's the little girlie by your side
0:08:06 > 0:08:10# I've seen you with a girl or two
0:08:10 > 0:08:13# Oh, oh, oh, I am surprised at you
0:08:13 > 0:08:15# Hello, hello
0:08:15 > 0:08:17# What's your little game
0:08:17 > 0:08:21# Don't you think your ways you ought to mend
0:08:21 > 0:08:24# It wasn't the girl I saw you with at Brighton
0:08:24 > 0:08:27# So who, who, who's your lady friend?
0:08:35 > 0:08:39# Jeremiah now has settled down in life
0:08:39 > 0:08:42# Said goodbye to frills and furbelows
0:08:42 > 0:08:46# Never thinks of girls except his darling wife
0:08:46 > 0:08:49# Always takes her everywhere he goes, by Jove
0:08:49 > 0:08:53# Now there he is the naughty boy
0:08:53 > 0:08:57# With a lady too you're rather free
0:08:57 > 0:08:59# I'll bet you'll stake your life
0:08:59 > 0:09:01# That lady is your wife
0:09:01 > 0:09:05# So tell us on the strict Q...
0:09:05 > 0:09:09# Tee-hee-he-he-he-heee... #
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Hello! Hello! Hello!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15# Who's your lady friend
0:09:15 > 0:09:19# Who's the little girlie by your side
0:09:19 > 0:09:20# I've seen you
0:09:20 > 0:09:22# With a girl or two
0:09:22 > 0:09:26# Oh, oh, oh, I am surprised at you
0:09:26 > 0:09:28# Hello, hello
0:09:28 > 0:09:30# What's your little game
0:09:30 > 0:09:33# Don't you think your ways you ought to mend
0:09:33 > 0:09:37# It wasn't the girl I saw you with at Brighton
0:09:37 > 0:09:40# Who, who, who's your lady friend
0:09:40 > 0:09:43# Who, who, who's your lady friend? #
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Welcome back!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Thrice welcome...
0:10:00 > 0:10:04to the sultry, sulphurescent...
0:10:04 > 0:10:06- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:10:06 > 0:10:10..phosphorescence of your own, my own...
0:10:10 > 0:10:12everybody's own...
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Miss Georgia Brown!
0:10:27 > 0:10:31# There's a little city flower
0:10:31 > 0:10:33# Every year unfailing
0:10:34 > 0:10:38# Growing through the crevices
0:10:38 > 0:10:41# By some London railing
0:10:41 > 0:10:45# Though it has a Latin name
0:10:45 > 0:10:49# In town and countryside
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# We in England call it
0:10:54 > 0:10:57# London's Pride
0:11:00 > 0:11:06# London Pride has been handed down to us
0:11:06 > 0:11:11# London Pride is a flower that's free
0:11:11 > 0:11:16# London Pride is our own dear town to us
0:11:17 > 0:11:21# And our pride it forever will be
0:11:22 > 0:11:25# Whoa, Liza
0:11:25 > 0:11:27# See the coster barrows
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# Vegetable marrows
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# With the fruit piled high
0:11:32 > 0:11:35# Whoa, Liza - look!
0:11:35 > 0:11:37# Little Cockney sparrows
0:11:38 > 0:11:40# Covent Garden Market
0:11:40 > 0:11:45# Where the costers cry
0:11:45 > 0:11:47# Cockney feet
0:11:47 > 0:11:50# Mark the beat of history
0:11:51 > 0:11:53# Every street
0:11:53 > 0:11:57# Pins a memory down
0:11:57 > 0:12:02# Nothing ever will quite replace
0:12:02 > 0:12:09# The grace of London Town
0:12:11 > 0:12:15# London Pride has been handed down to us
0:12:15 > 0:12:19# London Pride is a flower that's free
0:12:21 > 0:12:25# London Pride is our own dear town to us
0:12:25 > 0:12:29# And our pride it forever will be
0:12:30 > 0:12:33# Grey city
0:12:33 > 0:12:35# Stubbornly enchanted
0:12:35 > 0:12:37# Taken so for granted
0:12:37 > 0:12:39# For a thousand years
0:12:40 > 0:12:42# Stay city
0:12:42 > 0:12:45# Smokily enchanted
0:12:45 > 0:12:48# Cradle of our memories
0:12:48 > 0:12:50# Of our hopes
0:12:50 > 0:12:51# Our fears
0:12:53 > 0:12:58# Every Blitz our resistance toughening
0:12:58 > 0:13:03# From the Ritz to the Anchor And Crown
0:13:03 > 0:13:09# Nothing ever can quite replace
0:13:09 > 0:13:12# The grace of
0:13:12 > 0:13:18# London town. #
0:13:30 > 0:13:33More! More! More!
0:13:36 > 0:13:39I promise you, you will have Miss Georgia back,
0:13:39 > 0:13:40once again, later on in the programme,
0:13:40 > 0:13:44but, next time, without that tiny marabou tippet.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46And now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49born in Leeds...
0:13:49 > 0:13:52CHEERING
0:13:52 > 0:13:54..now a lustrous London luminary...
0:13:55 > 0:13:57AUDIENCE BOOS
0:13:57 > 0:13:58..inimitable,
0:13:58 > 0:14:01incomparable,
0:14:01 > 0:14:02audaciously...
0:14:03 > 0:14:05..irrepressible,
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Mr Barry Cryer!
0:14:14 > 0:14:16# La-la-la, la-la-la
0:14:16 > 0:14:20# La, la, la-la-la, la
0:14:20 > 0:14:24# Two young fellas were talking about their
0:14:24 > 0:14:26# Girls, girls, girls
0:14:28 > 0:14:30# Sweethearts for whom they pined
0:14:31 > 0:14:34# Sweethearts they'd left behind
0:14:35 > 0:14:38# One said my little shy little lass
0:14:38 > 0:14:41# Has a waist so trim and small
0:14:42 > 0:14:46# Grey are her eyes so bright
0:14:46 > 0:14:49# But best, best of all
0:14:50 > 0:14:54# My girl's a Yorkshire girl
0:14:54 > 0:14:56# Yorkshire through and through
0:14:58 > 0:15:01# My girl's a Yorkshire girl
0:15:01 > 0:15:05# Ee! By gum, she's a champion
0:15:05 > 0:15:08# Though she's a factory lass
0:15:08 > 0:15:13# And wears no fancy clothes
0:15:13 > 0:15:16# I've a sort of a Yorkshire relish
0:15:16 > 0:15:20# For my little Yorkshire Rose. #
0:15:20 > 0:15:21I never knew I could sing like that.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I never knew anybody could sing like that!
0:15:26 > 0:15:27How are you?
0:15:27 > 0:15:28- ALL:- How are you?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30- Are you enjoying yourselves? - Yes!
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Why? What are you doing?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Had a marvellous day, marvellous day here.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Mr Colehan, the producer...
0:15:37 > 0:15:40Mr Colehan, the producer...
0:15:40 > 0:15:42took me on one side - he had a word with me.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Well, actually he had two words with me...
0:15:45 > 0:15:46but I'm still here.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Let's, let's get back to the plot.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Let's go back to Rose.
0:15:53 > 0:15:55I met her on a 42 bus, you know?
0:15:55 > 0:15:57I used to see her on the bus, regularly, every morning.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Every weekday, she was an early morning workman's,
0:16:00 > 0:16:03and she was a shilling all day Sunday, and I...
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Very reasonable! Very reasonable!
0:16:09 > 0:16:11So I plucked up courage, one morning -
0:16:11 > 0:16:12we were on the bus together, you know?
0:16:12 > 0:16:16I plucked up courage to speak to her and she had a word with me...
0:16:16 > 0:16:20She actually had two words with me...
0:16:20 > 0:16:22"Still here" - that's right, love!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26God bless you, love. Move about a bit.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Anyway, I plucked up courage. I said, "Do you like dancing?"
0:16:32 > 0:16:33And she said, "Yes,
0:16:33 > 0:16:36"do you want to get off, or shall we do it here?"
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Funny woman. Funny woman.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42So we had a, you know, a quick Veleta...
0:16:44 > 0:16:48Nothing ambitious - just as far as the stairs and back, you know?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Then I kissed her under the "no spitting" sign.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53It was wonderful. Wonderful.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Golden moment. Golden moment.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Then we started going out together. It was very romantic, you know?
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Little restaurant, locally - candlelight, a bottle of wine...
0:17:03 > 0:17:05She went Tuesdays, I went Fridays.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09But I determined I was going to get me feet under the table.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11You know what I mean?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Go home and meet the parents - that's the thing, isn't it?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16So she took me home to meet her mum and dad, you see?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18And I walked in - a lovely couple...
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Mother was in the corner, plucking the cat.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27Seeing this family scene, you know, it really did something to me.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29So I said, "Where is it?" And her father...
0:17:35 > 0:17:40I don't know why I'm shouting - I've got the job. But her father...
0:17:40 > 0:17:42Her father said "the bottom of the garden", you see?
0:17:42 > 0:17:46So I popped down to the bottom of the garden. I came back...
0:17:46 > 0:17:49He said, "Have you pulled t'string?" I said, "Yes."
0:17:49 > 0:17:52He said, "Bloody hell - he's let all me pigeons out!"
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Anyway...
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Good evening. Anyway, I thought...
0:18:05 > 0:18:08You're a neglected minority, up there, aren't you?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Anyway, I thought I'd better get to terms with him, so I suggested a drink.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14He said yes - he usually got up about opening time.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16And so we're in the snug, you see?
0:18:16 > 0:18:20We're in the snug and he said, "Are your intentions honourable or not?"
0:18:20 > 0:18:23And I said I didn't know I had the choice!
0:18:23 > 0:18:24I thought I'd get to the point quickly.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26I said, "I want your daughter for my wife."
0:18:26 > 0:18:31And he said, "What the hell's your wife going to do with my daughter?"
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Anyway, at that moment...
0:18:33 > 0:18:35You'll not believe this, cos it's not true...
0:18:35 > 0:18:37At that moment...
0:18:37 > 0:18:38The door opened...
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Picture the scene.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42The door opened - in walked a pig.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45In walked a pig, into this pub. Straight up to the bar,
0:18:45 > 0:18:48put his little trotters on the bar,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51and Big Ethel - you know Big Ethel? The barmaid, there.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59She was drying her nails, and...
0:19:01 > 0:19:03..this little pig ordered a pint of bitter, you see?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06And he ordered and drank 12 pints of bitter in 10 minutes.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Now Ethel, being a compassionate soul, as we all know...
0:19:09 > 0:19:12said, "You're only a little pig - you shouldn't drink that much."
0:19:12 > 0:19:15And he said, "No, it's all right - I'm the little pig that goes
0:19:15 > 0:19:16"wee, wee, wee..."
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Wasn't true. I made that bit up, actually.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30It was a donkey.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35And it all started from there. We've been together ever since.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36Seven very happy years.
0:19:36 > 0:19:387 out of 28 isn't bad.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41She said, "Do you regret it?"
0:19:41 > 0:19:45I said, "Not a minute. Not a minute of all those years."
0:19:45 > 0:19:46And she said, "Why?"
0:19:46 > 0:19:47I said, "Why?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51"Because..."
0:19:51 > 0:19:54# My girl's a Yorkshire girl
0:19:54 > 0:19:58# Yorkshire through and through
0:19:58 > 0:20:02# My girl's a Yorkshire girl
0:20:02 > 0:20:06# Ee! By gum, she's a champion
0:20:06 > 0:20:09# Though she's a factory lass
0:20:09 > 0:20:13# And wears no fancy clothes
0:20:13 > 0:20:16# I've a sort of a Yorkshire relish
0:20:16 > 0:20:21# For my little Yorkshire Rose. #
0:20:38 > 0:20:40From Buda...
0:20:42 > 0:20:45..or "Butha" and "Pest"...
0:20:46 > 0:20:48..coruscatingly iridescent...
0:20:49 > 0:20:51..in Csardas...
0:20:51 > 0:20:53illimitably,
0:20:53 > 0:20:55lilting in Lehar.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Will you give your warmest welcome
0:20:57 > 0:21:00to the newcomer, to the stranger in our midst...
0:21:02 > 0:21:06..Miss Katinka Seiner!
0:21:15 > 0:21:20SHE SINGS IN OWN LANGUAGE
0:22:37 > 0:22:40SONG: Set The Gypsy Music Playing from Countess Maritza
0:22:40 > 0:22:43INDISTINCT
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:26:36 > 0:26:39hotfoot in Herculean haste...
0:26:40 > 0:26:44..from Augustus Daly's latest pantomime
0:26:44 > 0:26:48munificent in...
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Boo!
0:26:51 > 0:26:53No goose here.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56Munificent in muscular
0:26:56 > 0:26:59masculinity,
0:26:59 > 0:27:04and vertiginous versatility
0:27:04 > 0:27:06and virility,
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Mr John Inman
0:27:07 > 0:27:10and Mr Barry Howard!
0:27:46 > 0:27:49# They tried to tell us pantomime had ended
0:27:49 > 0:27:53# They said come put away that old glass shoe
0:27:53 > 0:27:55# They said our charms were waning
0:27:55 > 0:27:58# But we've got to go on reigning
0:27:58 > 0:28:01# What's a couple of regal boys to do
0:28:01 > 0:28:05# We can't go back to being just plain misses
0:28:05 > 0:28:07# When we've been called
0:28:07 > 0:28:08# Your Majesty
0:28:08 > 0:28:09# And sire
0:28:11 > 0:28:13# Life would lose its flavour... #
0:28:14 > 0:28:15Outside, you!
0:28:19 > 0:28:22# Without our grace and favour
0:28:22 > 0:28:25# And mincing as we do around the shire. #
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Two, three, four.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28Hup!
0:28:41 > 0:28:45# We used to love the royal entertaining
0:28:45 > 0:28:49# Our waltz and our gavotte were all the gear
0:28:49 > 0:28:51# It does seem such a shame
0:28:51 > 0:28:54# Cos they met with much acclaim
0:28:54 > 0:28:58# And our dances got bigger every year
0:28:59 > 0:29:03# We can't go back to being in the chorus
0:29:03 > 0:29:07# When we've woken Sleeping Beauty with a kiss
0:29:07 > 0:29:10# I've been a Whittington named Dick
0:29:13 > 0:29:15# I've even trimmed Aladdin's wick
0:29:17 > 0:29:20# And you should see us up a beanstalk dressed like this
0:29:28 > 0:29:31# I used to love the blackouts with Man Friday. #
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Oh, she did! She did!
0:29:33 > 0:29:36# When the lights went up I went a shade of puce. #
0:29:36 > 0:29:38Tell 'em, girl.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40# I shall miss my name in lights
0:29:40 > 0:29:42# And I'll miss my legs in tights. #
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Ooh, that does hurt!
0:29:45 > 0:29:50# But most we'll miss the goose from Mother Goose
0:29:50 > 0:29:54# What shall we do when we're thrown on the scrapheap
0:29:54 > 0:29:58# It seems our lives have been but just a farce. #
0:30:02 > 0:30:03Who said that?
0:30:08 > 0:30:09W...
0:30:11 > 0:30:13# Why we've recently been seen
0:30:13 > 0:30:16# By Her Majesty the Queen
0:30:16 > 0:30:19# Oh, please! Oh, please! Don't put us out to grass
0:30:19 > 0:30:20# We're not for grazing
0:30:20 > 0:30:23# Oh, must there be an end to pantomime
0:30:23 > 0:30:24# Without our trousers
0:30:24 > 0:30:27# Oh, must there be an end
0:30:27 > 0:30:30# To pantomime? #
0:30:41 > 0:30:45# Put me amongst the girls
0:30:45 > 0:30:48# Put me amongst the girls
0:30:48 > 0:30:52# Do me a favour, do
0:30:52 > 0:30:55# You know I'd do the same for you
0:30:55 > 0:30:59# Put me amongst the girls
0:30:59 > 0:31:03# Those with the curly curls
0:31:03 > 0:31:05# They'll enjoy themselves and so shall I
0:31:06 > 0:31:09# If you put me amongst the girls. #
0:31:24 > 0:31:28Now, perhaps you can guess what I meant by "versatility".
0:31:29 > 0:31:31From Denmark...
0:31:33 > 0:31:36..tornadic in tripartite,
0:31:36 > 0:31:38revolutionary...
0:31:40 > 0:31:41..intrepidity.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45Three people on skates.
0:31:45 > 0:31:46Ladies and gentlemen,
0:31:46 > 0:31:49the Hurricanes!
0:31:49 > 0:31:50BAND PLAYS
0:32:01 > 0:32:03APPLAUSE
0:32:08 > 0:32:09APPLAUSE
0:32:54 > 0:32:55APPLAUSE
0:33:04 > 0:33:05APPLAUSE
0:33:46 > 0:33:47HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE
0:34:03 > 0:34:04APPLAUSE
0:34:24 > 0:34:25APPLAUSE
0:34:41 > 0:34:43And now, ladies and gentlemen,
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Jack there is going to risk
0:34:46 > 0:34:48mutilation
0:34:48 > 0:34:50for your titillation.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53He's going to put that on his feet.
0:34:53 > 0:34:58Ursula and John are going to go into their high-speed skating,
0:34:58 > 0:35:01and Ursula, with that very sharp knife,
0:35:01 > 0:35:04is going to cut that from between his feet
0:35:04 > 0:35:05very carefully.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08The Hurricanes!
0:35:08 > 0:35:10APPLAUSE
0:35:12 > 0:35:15DRUMROLL
0:35:27 > 0:35:29APPLAUSE
0:36:12 > 0:36:16Now, ladies and gentlemen, as promised,
0:36:16 > 0:36:17once again,
0:36:17 > 0:36:20this time in a Cockaigne...
0:36:22 > 0:36:23..cantata,
0:36:23 > 0:36:25The Players' Theatre
0:36:25 > 0:36:26and your own,
0:36:26 > 0:36:28your very, very own
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Georgia Brown!
0:36:37 > 0:36:40# Wotcha all the neighbours cried
0:36:40 > 0:36:41# Who you going to meet, Bill?
0:36:41 > 0:36:43# Have you bought the street, Bill?
0:36:43 > 0:36:45# Laugh? I thought I should 'ave died
0:36:45 > 0:36:48# Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Road
0:36:48 > 0:36:51# Last night Down our alley comes a toff
0:36:51 > 0:36:54# Nice old geezer with a nasty cough
0:36:54 > 0:36:57# Sees me and he takes his topper off
0:36:57 > 0:36:58# In a very gentlemanly way
0:37:00 > 0:37:02# Man says Here I've got some news to tell
0:37:03 > 0:37:06# Your old Uncle Tom from Camberwell
0:37:06 > 0:37:08# Popped off recent which is sad to tell
0:37:08 > 0:37:11# Leaving you his little donkey Shay. Oh!
0:37:11 > 0:37:14# Wotcha all the neighbours cried
0:37:14 > 0:37:16# Who you going to meet, Bill?
0:37:16 > 0:37:17# Have you bought the street, Bill?
0:37:17 > 0:37:20# Laugh? I thought I should 'ave died
0:37:20 > 0:37:22# Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Road
0:37:25 > 0:37:29# I'm a
0:37:29 > 0:37:31# Chickerleary cove
0:37:31 > 0:37:33# With me one two three
0:37:33 > 0:37:37# Whitechapel is the village I was born in
0:37:37 > 0:37:39# And
0:37:39 > 0:37:40# To catch me on the 'op
0:37:40 > 0:37:42# And my little game to stop
0:37:42 > 0:37:47# You'll 'ave to get up very early in the mornin'
0:37:47 > 0:37:49# I'm a
0:37:49 > 0:37:52# Chickerleary bloke with me one two three
0:37:52 > 0:37:55# Whitechapel is the village I was born in
0:37:55 > 0:37:57# And to catch me on the 'op
0:37:57 > 0:37:58# And my little game to stop
0:37:58 > 0:38:01# You'll 'ave to get up very early in the mornin'
0:38:01 > 0:38:02# You'll 'ave to get up
0:38:02 > 0:38:08# Very early in the mornin'
0:38:17 > 0:38:23# Underneath the gaslights' glitter
0:38:25 > 0:38:28# Sits a little fragile girl
0:38:31 > 0:38:36# Heedless of the night winds bitter
0:38:37 > 0:38:41# That around about her whirl
0:38:43 > 0:38:48# Though the hundreds pass unheeding
0:38:49 > 0:38:54# In the evening's waning hours
0:38:56 > 0:38:58# Still she cries
0:38:59 > 0:39:00# With tearful pleading
0:39:03 > 0:39:05# Won't you buy
0:39:06 > 0:39:07# My pretty flowers?
0:39:11 > 0:39:14# There are thousands
0:39:15 > 0:39:16# Tired and weary
0:39:18 > 0:39:23# In this precious land of ours
0:39:25 > 0:39:29# Crying every night
0:39:31 > 0:39:32# So dreary
0:39:35 > 0:39:36# Won't you buy
0:39:38 > 0:39:39# My pretty flowers?
0:39:43 > 0:39:44# Won't you buy
0:39:46 > 0:39:47# My pretty flowers? #
0:39:50 > 0:39:51- I know you'll buy them, Leonard. - Yes.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54You're such a kind and good gentleman, aren't you, sir?
0:39:54 > 0:39:56God bless you, guv'nor.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59# I...
0:39:59 > 0:40:01# Never was a one to go and stint meself
0:40:03 > 0:40:06# If I likes a thing, I likes it - that's enough. #
0:40:06 > 0:40:10And I likes you, mister. 'Ave me flowers.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13# Now there's lots of people say that if you likes a thing a lot
0:40:13 > 0:40:18# It'll grow on you and all that sort of stuff
0:40:18 > 0:40:22# Now I likes me drop of beer as well as anyone
0:40:22 > 0:40:26# But a drop of beer's supposed to make you fat
0:40:26 > 0:40:29# And there's many a la-di-da-di woman
0:40:29 > 0:40:31# Doesn't dare to touch it
0:40:31 > 0:40:34# Cos she mustn't spoil her figure
0:40:34 > 0:40:35# Silly cat
0:40:37 > 0:40:39# I...
0:40:39 > 0:40:42# Always 'old with 'aving it if you fancy it
0:40:42 > 0:40:44# If you fancy it
0:40:44 > 0:40:46# That's understood
0:40:46 > 0:40:48# Now suppose it makes you fat
0:40:48 > 0:40:50# I...
0:40:50 > 0:40:52# Don't worry over that
0:40:52 > 0:40:55# Cos a little of what you fancy does you good. #
0:40:55 > 0:40:56All together!
0:40:56 > 0:40:59# I always 'old with 'aving it if you fancy it. #
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Oh! # If you fancy it... #
0:41:01 > 0:41:03Oh! # That's understood
0:41:03 > 0:41:05# Now suppose it makes you fat
0:41:05 > 0:41:07# I don't worry over that
0:41:07 > 0:41:09# Cos a little of what you fancy does you good. #
0:41:09 > 0:41:11I've got a lovely story to tell you.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14It's very sad.
0:41:14 > 0:41:15- AUDIENCE:- Aw...
0:41:15 > 0:41:18I thought you'd feel like that.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20# Mr William Henry Blue
0:41:20 > 0:41:23# Came hurryin' home in such a stew
0:41:25 > 0:41:27# When everyone was sleeping in the square
0:41:29 > 0:41:32# What with the wintry winds that blew
0:41:32 > 0:41:34# And the wine he'd drunk
0:41:34 > 0:41:35# And his nose - ooh...
0:41:37 > 0:41:41# I left 'im on the knocker hangin' there
0:41:41 > 0:41:42# Now he shouted
0:41:42 > 0:41:43# Anna
0:41:43 > 0:41:46# I want to come up to bed
0:41:46 > 0:41:49# So I puts me 'ead through the bedroom window
0:41:49 > 0:41:54# With me nightcap on and says
0:41:54 > 0:41:57# It's...
0:41:57 > 0:42:00# No good your calling Anna
0:42:00 > 0:42:04# I'm not comin' home tonight
0:42:04 > 0:42:07# You can smoke, smoke, smoke on your Havana
0:42:07 > 0:42:10# You can puff till the broad daylight
0:42:10 > 0:42:15# I can tell you've been drinkin' by your manner
0:42:15 > 0:42:18# It's no good your putting on airs
0:42:18 > 0:42:22# If I open the door I feel quite sure
0:42:22 > 0:42:24# You'll never get up those
0:42:24 > 0:42:26# Never get up those
0:42:26 > 0:42:27# Never get up those... #
0:42:27 > 0:42:29All together!
0:42:29 > 0:42:33# No good your calling Anna
0:42:33 > 0:42:36# I'm not comin' home tonight
0:42:36 > 0:42:40# You can smoke, smoke, smoke on your Havana
0:42:40 > 0:42:43# You can puff till the broad daylight
0:42:43 > 0:42:47# Oh I can tell you've been drinkin' by your manner
0:42:47 > 0:42:50# It's no good your putting on airs
0:42:50 > 0:42:54# If I open the door I feel quite sure
0:42:54 > 0:42:56# You'll never get up those
0:42:56 > 0:42:58# Never get up those
0:42:58 > 0:43:01# Never get up those stairs! #
0:43:20 > 0:43:24And now, ladies and gentlemen, there really is just time, just time
0:43:24 > 0:43:27for the last chorus of all - Down At The Old Bull And Bush.
0:43:27 > 0:43:28Ladies and gentlemen,
0:43:28 > 0:43:32Miss Georgia Brown, the entire company, Mr Billy Ternent
0:43:32 > 0:43:33and the entire...
0:43:34 > 0:43:36..indefatigable orchestra...
0:43:36 > 0:43:37CHEERING
0:43:37 > 0:43:39..but, this time, chiefly...
0:43:39 > 0:43:41Ourselves!
0:43:46 > 0:43:49# Come, come, come and make eyes at me
0:43:49 > 0:43:52# Down at the old Bull and Bush
0:43:52 > 0:43:53# Da da da da da
0:43:53 > 0:43:57# Come, come, drink some port wine with me
0:43:57 > 0:43:59# Down at the old Bull and Bush
0:44:01 > 0:44:03# Hear the little German band
0:44:03 > 0:44:05# Ba da-da-da, da da da
0:44:05 > 0:44:08# Just let me hold your hand dear
0:44:08 > 0:44:12# Do, do, come and have a drink or two
0:44:12 > 0:44:16# Down at the old Bull and Bush.
0:44:16 > 0:44:17# Bush bush! #
0:44:17 > 0:44:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE