0:00:02 > 0:00:04MUSIC HALL INSTRUMENTAL
0:00:08 > 0:00:13# After the ball is over
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# After the break of day
0:00:17 > 0:00:22# After the dancers leaving
0:00:22 > 0:00:27# After the stars are gone
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Many a heart is aching
0:00:31 > 0:00:36# If you could read them all
0:00:36 > 0:00:40# Many the hopes that have vanished
0:00:40 > 0:00:45# After the ball... #
0:00:49 > 0:00:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:00:52 > 0:00:54UP-TEMPO MUSIC
0:00:54 > 0:00:56YELPING
0:01:21 > 0:01:23# I love a lassie
0:01:23 > 0:01:25# A bonnie, bonnie lassie
0:01:25 > 0:01:29# She's as pure as the lily In the dell
0:01:29 > 0:01:32# She's as sweet as the heather
0:01:32 > 0:01:34# The bonnie, blooming heather
0:01:34 > 0:01:37# Mary, ma Scotch bluebell
0:01:39 > 0:01:40# I love a lassie,
0:01:40 > 0:01:42# A bonnie, bonnie lassie
0:01:42 > 0:01:46# She's as pure as the lily In the dell
0:01:46 > 0:01:49# She's as sweet as the heather
0:01:49 > 0:01:51# The bonnie, blooming heather
0:01:51 > 0:01:55# Mary, ma Scotch bluebell
0:01:55 > 0:01:57# Just a...
0:01:57 > 0:02:00# Wee docht and doris
0:02:00 > 0:02:02# Just a wee dram, that's all
0:02:02 > 0:02:05# Just a wee docht and doris
0:02:05 > 0:02:08# Afore ye gang awa'
0:02:08 > 0:02:10# There's a wee wifey waiting
0:02:10 > 0:02:12# In a wee butt and ben
0:02:12 > 0:02:15# If you can say, It's a braw bricht moon licht nicht
0:02:15 > 0:02:18# Then you're all right, you ken.
0:02:18 > 0:02:22# I'm roamin' in the gloamin'
0:02:22 > 0:02:26# On the bonnie banks o' Clyde
0:02:26 > 0:02:29# Roamin' in the gloamin'
0:02:29 > 0:02:33# With a lassie by my side
0:02:33 > 0:02:35# When the sun that's gone to rest
0:02:35 > 0:02:39# That's the time that I love best
0:02:39 > 0:02:45# Oh, it's lovely roamin' In the gloamin'. #
0:02:47 > 0:02:50WHOOPING AND CHEERING
0:02:51 > 0:02:53# Hark when the night is falling
0:02:53 > 0:02:55# Hear, hear, the pipes are calling
0:02:55 > 0:02:57# Loudly and proudly calling
0:02:57 > 0:02:59# Down through the glen
0:02:59 > 0:03:02# There where the hills are sleeping
0:03:02 > 0:03:04# Now feel the blood a-leaping
0:03:04 > 0:03:07# High as the spirits Of the old Highland men
0:03:07 > 0:03:10# Towering in gallant fame
0:03:10 > 0:03:12# Scotland my mountain hame
0:03:12 > 0:03:16# High may your proud standards Gloriously wave
0:03:16 > 0:03:18# Land o' the high endeavour,
0:03:18 > 0:03:20# Land o' the shining river
0:03:20 > 0:03:22# Land o' my heart forever
0:03:22 > 0:03:24# Scotland the brave
0:03:24 > 0:03:28# Land o' the heart forever
0:03:28 > 0:03:31# Scotland...
0:03:31 > 0:03:34# The brave... #
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Ah-hi!
0:03:37 > 0:03:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:46 > 0:03:49ENTRANCE MUSIC
0:03:50 > 0:03:54CHEERING
0:04:01 > 0:04:03CHEERING
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Once again...
0:04:05 > 0:04:10Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- AUDIENCE:- Good evening!
0:04:12 > 0:04:16And say hello to your own Lord Mayor!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18CHEERING
0:04:20 > 0:04:21APPLAUSE
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Lexico-graphically...
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:04:30 > 0:04:34..exploratory of eulogistic exactitudes...
0:04:34 > 0:04:35- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:04:35 > 0:04:40..for your...illuminat-ory...
0:04:40 > 0:04:42elucidation...
0:04:42 > 0:04:45primarily momentous in mimic
0:04:45 > 0:04:48mountebankery...
0:04:48 > 0:04:54Miss Doreen Hermitage and Miss Jan Hunt!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:05:07 > 0:05:09# Mandolins
0:05:09 > 0:05:11# Violins
0:05:11 > 0:05:14# Hear the markers tuning up The fun begins
0:05:14 > 0:05:16# Come this way
0:05:16 > 0:05:18# Don't delay
0:05:18 > 0:05:21# Better hurry honey dear Or you'll be missing
0:05:21 > 0:05:23# Music sweet
0:05:23 > 0:05:25# What a treat
0:05:25 > 0:05:28# Goes right to your head And trickles to your feet
0:05:28 > 0:05:30# It's a reminder
0:05:30 > 0:05:35# A memory finder Of nights down in old Alabam'
0:05:42 > 0:05:45# You ought to see Mr Jones When he rattles his bones
0:05:45 > 0:05:49# Old Parson Brown Fooling round like a clown
0:05:49 > 0:05:52# Aunt Jemima who is past 83
0:05:52 > 0:05:54# Yelling, "I'm full of pep!"
0:05:54 > 0:05:56- # Watch your step - # Watch your step
0:05:56 > 0:05:59# Or one-legged Joe Danced around on his toe
0:05:59 > 0:06:03# Threw away his crutch And hollered, "Let her go!"
0:06:03 > 0:06:06# Well honey, hail, hail The gang's all here
0:06:06 > 0:06:10# For the Alabama Jubilee!
0:06:17 > 0:06:18# Let's look in
0:06:18 > 0:06:20# It's a sin
0:06:20 > 0:06:23# We are wasting time So let the fun begin
0:06:23 > 0:06:24# Ho, ho!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26# What you got?
0:06:26 > 0:06:27# Quite a lot
0:06:27 > 0:06:31# Here's a hat and more than that So let's get started
0:06:31 > 0:06:32# Auntie Jane
0:06:32 > 0:06:34# Not again
0:06:34 > 0:06:37# Give your legs some exercise To this refrain
0:06:37 > 0:06:41# This is what makes us so happy And takes us
0:06:41 > 0:06:44# Back home go to our old Alabam'
0:06:44 > 0:06:48# You ought to see Mr Jones When he rattles his bones
0:06:48 > 0:06:51# Old Parson Brown Fooling round like a clown
0:06:51 > 0:06:55# Aunt Jemima who is past 83
0:06:55 > 0:06:57# Yelling, "I'm full of pep!"
0:06:57 > 0:06:58# Watch your step
0:06:58 > 0:07:02# One-legged Joe Danced around on his toe
0:07:02 > 0:07:05# Threw away his crutch And hollered, "Let her go!"
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- # Oh, honey, hail, hail! - # Hail! Hail!
0:07:07 > 0:07:12# The gang's all here For an Alabama Jubilee! #
0:07:13 > 0:07:16INSTRUMENTAL
0:07:51 > 0:07:53THEY WHOOP
0:07:53 > 0:07:55APPLAUSE
0:07:59 > 0:08:03I say, I say, I say, why did the moth eat a hole in the carpet?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05I don't know, why did the moth eat a hole in the carpet?
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- Because he wanted to see the floor show!- Ooh!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11LAUGHTER AND GROANING
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- I say, I say, I say. - Why did he cover it up again?
0:08:14 > 0:08:16I don't know. Why did he cover it up again?
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Because he didn't want to see the- HOLE- show!
0:08:20 > 0:08:22LAUGHTER AND GROANING
0:08:22 > 0:08:24RUSTLING
0:08:24 > 0:08:26MUSIC PLAYS ALONG
0:08:29 > 0:08:30MUSIC MIMICS GESTURES
0:08:33 > 0:08:35MUSIC HALL MUSIC
0:08:58 > 0:08:59GLOVES RUSTLE
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Whoo!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14# You ought to see Mr Jones
0:09:14 > 0:09:16# When he rattles the bones
0:09:16 > 0:09:19# Old Parson Brown fooling round like a clown
0:09:19 > 0:09:22# Aunt Jemina who is past 83
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- # Yellin' "I'm full o' pep!" - Yay!
0:09:24 > 0:09:26# Watch your step Watch your step
0:09:26 > 0:09:29# One-legged Joe danced around on his toe
0:09:29 > 0:09:32# He threw away his crutch and hollered, "Let her go"
0:09:32 > 0:09:33# Oh, honey, hail! Hail!
0:09:33 > 0:09:34# Hail! Hail!
0:09:34 > 0:09:35# The gang's all here
0:09:35 > 0:09:37# For an Alabama Jubi...
0:09:37 > 0:09:39# Alabama Jubi...
0:09:39 > 0:09:41# Alabama
0:09:41 > 0:09:45# Jubilee! #
0:09:45 > 0:09:47APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:47 > 0:09:48- MUSIC ENDS - Whoo!
0:09:50 > 0:09:53BAND INTRO STARTS
0:09:53 > 0:09:54APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:55 > 0:09:57BAND INTRO ENDS
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Inexhaustively
0:10:04 > 0:10:06encapsulating
0:10:06 > 0:10:08- cadenzas... AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10..coruscating
0:10:10 > 0:10:12in crystalline AUDIENCE CHATTERS
0:10:12 > 0:10:14sexduplicity.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Ladies and gentlemen, The King's Singers!
0:10:19 > 0:10:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:10:21 > 0:10:22MUSIC HALL INTRO PLAYS
0:10:26 > 0:10:28MUSIC HALL INTRO ENDS
0:10:28 > 0:10:30MUSIC: Danny Boy by Frederick Weatherly
0:10:30 > 0:10:32# Oh, Danny Boy
0:10:32 > 0:10:36# The pipes, the pipes are calling
0:10:38 > 0:10:41# From glen to glen
0:10:41 > 0:10:44# And down the mountainside
0:10:44 > 0:10:46# Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
0:10:46 > 0:10:49# The summer's gone
0:10:49 > 0:10:53# And all the roses falling
0:10:55 > 0:10:59# 'Tis you, 'tis you, must go
0:10:59 > 0:11:02# And I must bide
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- # But come ye back - Come back
0:11:06 > 0:11:10# When summer's in the meadow
0:11:12 > 0:11:15# Or when the valley's hushed
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- # And white with snow - And white with snow
0:11:21 > 0:11:25# 'Tis I'll be here
0:11:25 > 0:11:29# In sunshine or in shadow
0:11:31 > 0:11:35# Oh, Danny Boy, oh, Danny Boy
0:11:35 > 0:11:38# I love you so... #
0:11:39 > 0:11:42THEY HUM TUNE
0:11:48 > 0:11:49# ..But when ye come... #
0:11:49 > 0:11:51THEY HUM
0:11:51 > 0:11:54# And all the flowers are dying... #
0:11:54 > 0:11:56THEY HUM
0:11:56 > 0:11:58# If I am dead
0:11:58 > 0:12:02# As dead I well may be
0:12:04 > 0:12:06# You'll come and find
0:12:06 > 0:12:11# The place where I am lying
0:12:11 > 0:12:15# And kneel and say
0:12:15 > 0:12:18# An ave there for me
0:12:21 > 0:12:23- # And I shall hear - I'll hear
0:12:23 > 0:12:28# Though soft your tread above me
0:12:29 > 0:12:33# And all my grave
0:12:33 > 0:12:35# Will warmer...
0:12:35 > 0:12:37# Sweeter be
0:12:39 > 0:12:43# For you will bend
0:12:43 > 0:12:48# And tell me that you love me
0:12:51 > 0:12:57- # And I shall sleep in peace - Sleep in peace
0:12:59 > 0:13:02# Until you
0:13:02 > 0:13:12# Come to me. #
0:13:12 > 0:13:14APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:19 > 0:13:20BAND MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:25 > 0:13:26APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:31 > 0:13:32Perilous
0:13:32 > 0:13:34on the perimeter
0:13:34 > 0:13:36of injurious
0:13:36 > 0:13:38intrepidity...
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:13:40 > 0:13:41..danger.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43LAUGHTER
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Bedazzling in bastinado!
0:13:46 > 0:13:48From Paris, the Sherdans!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:13:50 > 0:13:51CHEERING
0:13:53 > 0:13:54LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS
0:14:45 > 0:14:47LAUGHTER
0:14:47 > 0:14:48APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:14:51 > 0:14:52LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:07 > 0:15:08APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:10 > 0:15:12WHIP SNAPS
0:15:28 > 0:15:29WHIP SNAPS
0:15:32 > 0:15:33APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:50 > 0:15:51CYMBAL CLASH
0:15:51 > 0:15:52APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:15:54 > 0:15:56MUSIC ENDS
0:15:56 > 0:15:57PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:05 > 0:16:06JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:39 > 0:16:40CYMBAL CLASH
0:16:40 > 0:16:42APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:17:18 > 0:17:19CYMBAL CLASH
0:17:19 > 0:17:20APPLAUSE
0:17:52 > 0:17:53CYMBAL CLASH
0:17:55 > 0:17:56APPLAUSE
0:18:11 > 0:18:12CYMBAL CLASH
0:18:12 > 0:18:13APPLAUSE
0:19:05 > 0:19:07LIVELY MUSIC FADES
0:19:07 > 0:19:14QUIET DRUMROLL
0:19:14 > 0:19:19DRUMROLL LOUDENS
0:19:19 > 0:19:23DRUMROLL LOUDENS
0:19:24 > 0:19:26DRUMROLL STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:19:30 > 0:19:32AUDIENCE GASP, APPLAUSE
0:19:32 > 0:19:33MUSIC HALL MUSIC PLAYS
0:19:50 > 0:19:51MUSIC HALL MUSIC ENDS
0:19:53 > 0:19:56You don't have to worry. They are good friends.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59LAUGHTER Erm, excruciatingly...
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Sorry. LAUGHTER
0:20:00 > 0:20:05..egregious in ornithological anthropomorphism.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:20:07 > 0:20:08A human bird.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Welcome to Mr Bernie Clifton.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:20:12 > 0:20:13MUSIC HALL MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:16 > 0:20:18APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:20:18 > 0:20:20MUSIC HALL MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:26 > 0:20:27- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32HE LAUGHS, LAUGHTER
0:20:32 > 0:20:33Steady now. Steady.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36- Good evening. - AUDIENCE:- Good evening!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38And welcome to the war hero. This is him.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39LAUGHTER
0:20:39 > 0:20:42This is him, Oswald. Yes, he's a war hero.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45He's been fighting for you, missus.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48He's been over there in the trenches.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Up to his neck in muck and millet.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50LAUGHTER
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Steady, steady. Steady.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54LAUGHTER
0:20:55 > 0:20:57And all his mates sent him back.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- LAUGHTER - Yes, all his mates...
0:20:59 > 0:21:01How would you like to live in a billet full of millet?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- You wouldn't, would you? - LAUGHTER
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Yes, he comes from a long line of war heroes, actually, does Oswald.
0:21:06 > 0:21:09His great-grandfather fought with Wellington.
0:21:09 > 0:21:10Steady, steady.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13His dad fought with Baden-Powell.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14LAUGHTER
0:21:14 > 0:21:16And now, he's fighting with Kitchener.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18That's the trouble with the whole family,
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- they can't get on with anybody. - LAUGHTER
0:21:21 > 0:21:22- Watch it... - LAUGHTER
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- Whoa, whoa, steady. - LAUGHTER
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Whoa, whoa.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29No, he's the hero of his regiment.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32The 15th Ormskirk Foot and Mouth. That's him.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33LAUGHTER
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Volunteer submarine reserve parachutist. Now...
0:21:36 > 0:21:38And soon he'll be back at the front.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40I said, soon you'll be back at the f...
0:21:40 > 0:21:42No, no. Soon you'll be back at the...front...
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- LAUGHTER - I don't mean that. No.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Not back-to-front, back at the front.
0:21:46 > 0:21:47LAUGHTER
0:21:47 > 0:21:49He's a bit deaf, you see. Shellshock.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Only with him, it's egg-shellshock.
0:21:51 > 0:21:52LAUGHTER
0:21:52 > 0:21:54And he's going back to the front to be a hero.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Have we got any rousing send-off music, Mr Herbert, please?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Let's try some.
0:21:58 > 0:21:59TUNE: Goodbye Dolly Gray by Will D Cobb Paul Barnes
0:21:59 > 0:22:01# Goodbye, Oswald
0:22:01 > 0:22:03# You must leave us
0:22:03 > 0:22:06# Though it breaks your heart to go... #
0:22:06 > 0:22:08No, no, no.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Go, no? Not yet!
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Not yet. Steady.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- LAUGHTER - Not yet.
0:22:13 > 0:22:14Get back!
0:22:14 > 0:22:16I'm sorry.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Do continue.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18MUSIC STARTS
0:22:21 > 0:22:23SCATTERED LAUGHTER
0:22:23 > 0:22:27# Something tells me I am needed
0:22:27 > 0:22:29# At the front to fight the... #
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh! Oh!
0:22:31 > 0:22:33- MUSIC STOPS - Oh! Oh! Not so fast!
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Whoa, whoa.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- SCATTERED LAUGHTER - Sorry.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38MUSIC STARTS
0:22:39 > 0:22:41LAUGHTER
0:22:43 > 0:22:47# See, the soldier boys are marching
0:22:47 > 0:22:49# And I can no longer
0:22:49 > 0:22:51# Stay! #
0:22:51 > 0:22:53HE JABBERS
0:22:53 > 0:22:56# Hark, I hear the bugle call
0:22:58 > 0:23:00# Goodbye, Dolly. #
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- HE SHOUTS - G...Gray!
0:23:02 > 0:23:05INSTRUMENTAL
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Hey!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- HE SHOUTS - Whoa!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12- HE SHOUTS - Whoa!
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Ooh!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Hey! Back up!
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Whoa!
0:23:18 > 0:23:19Whoa!
0:23:19 > 0:23:21AUDIENCE SHOUTS
0:23:21 > 0:23:24HE SHOUTS
0:23:24 > 0:23:25Hey! Wah!
0:23:25 > 0:23:27- Hey! - LAUGHTER
0:23:27 > 0:23:28HE SHOUTS
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Whoa!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- Get y... - LAUGHTER
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Get your head out!
0:23:33 > 0:23:34LAUGHTER
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Get your... Now look what you've done!
0:23:38 > 0:23:39LAUGHTER
0:23:39 > 0:23:41You're missing all kinds of things here. There's...
0:23:41 > 0:23:45there's ladies and gentlemen dressed up with beautiful dresses and...
0:23:45 > 0:23:48there's a lady there with a lovely hat...hat on.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49LAUGHTER
0:23:51 > 0:23:54From a distance, it looks as if it's got ostrich feathers on it!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56LAUGHTER
0:23:56 > 0:23:58- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01APPLAUSE
0:24:04 > 0:24:05WOMAN LAUGHS
0:24:07 > 0:24:09LAUGHTER
0:24:12 > 0:24:14LAUGHTER
0:24:19 > 0:24:21LAUGHTER
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- ALL:- Ooh!
0:24:26 > 0:24:29What are you laughing at? You've got his favourite food on your hat!
0:24:29 > 0:24:30LAUGHTER
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Ooh, that's got... He's going to do his war dance now.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35LIVELY DRUMMING
0:24:35 > 0:24:38HE HUMS NONSENSICALLY
0:24:39 > 0:24:42HE YELPS, AUDIENCE GASPS
0:24:42 > 0:24:44HE SHOUTS, WOMAN YELPS
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- HE SHOUTS - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- Whoa! - LAUGHTER
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Steady.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Hardly worth the trouble. Now, ladies and gentlemen...
0:24:53 > 0:24:54BUGLE PLAYS
0:24:57 > 0:24:58What's that?
0:24:58 > 0:24:59BUGLE ENDS
0:25:01 > 0:25:02LAUGHTER
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Do you know what that is?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08That's your recall to barracks.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09Oswald! You're going to be a hero.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- Come on. Ooh! - LAUGHTER
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Get your head out of there.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18LAUGHTER
0:25:18 > 0:25:20Get your head out. Get it out, get it out.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21Steady, steady.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23- I do apologise about this. - LAUGHTER
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Come on, Oswald.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27LAUGHTER
0:25:27 > 0:25:29Ah, yes, offer him a grape. See if that'll work.
0:25:29 > 0:25:30AUDIENCE GASPS, LAUGHTER
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Excuse me.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36LAUGHTER
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Steady.
0:25:38 > 0:25:39LAUGHTER
0:25:41 > 0:25:42Have you...?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45HE SHOUTS
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Have you found his beak yet?
0:25:46 > 0:25:47LAUGHTER
0:25:53 > 0:25:55You see some funny sights in your job, don't you?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58LAUGHTER, BUGLE PLAYS
0:25:58 > 0:25:59- That's it! - ALL:- Whey!
0:25:59 > 0:26:01It's food! It's the cookhouse for him!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Come on, Oswald. Back to the cookhouse!
0:26:03 > 0:26:04MILITARY DRUMMING
0:26:04 > 0:26:06- AUDIENCE GASPS, HE SHOUTS - Look out!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08HE SHOUTS
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Ooh!
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Ooh!
0:26:12 > 0:26:13BAND PLAYS
0:26:13 > 0:26:15# I hear the bugle calling... #
0:26:15 > 0:26:17AUDIENCE CLAP ALONG
0:26:17 > 0:26:18# Goodbye
0:26:18 > 0:26:20# Dolly
0:26:20 > 0:26:23# Gray! #
0:26:23 > 0:26:24- MUSIC ENDS - Wahey!
0:26:24 > 0:26:26- APPLAUSE AND CHEERING - Come on!
0:26:26 > 0:26:29MUSIC: Goodbye Dolly Gray by Will D Cobb Paul Barnes
0:26:29 > 0:26:31APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:38 > 0:26:40BAND MUSIC ENDS
0:26:40 > 0:26:41APPLAUSE
0:26:43 > 0:26:44AUDIENCE MURMURS
0:26:45 > 0:26:46A relation...
0:26:46 > 0:26:49A relation of Leda's swan.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Delicious delineatrix of...
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Ooh!
0:26:53 > 0:26:55It's the feminine of delineator!
0:26:55 > 0:26:56LAUGHTER
0:26:56 > 0:26:59..of cautionary ditties.
0:26:59 > 0:27:01Engaging in gaminerie,
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Miss Sheila White!
0:27:04 > 0:27:05APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:05 > 0:27:06MUSIC PLAYS
0:27:09 > 0:27:13MUSIC: Heaven Will Protect An Honest Girl by Weston and Lee
0:27:13 > 0:27:15IN COCKNEY ACCENT: # On the day I left the village
0:27:15 > 0:27:18# My dear Mother whispered, Nell
0:27:18 > 0:27:21# Take this piece of bread and dripping and your fare
0:27:21 > 0:27:23# And remember when in London
0:27:23 > 0:27:26# Though you're just a servant girl
0:27:26 > 0:27:31# You're a blonde, the sort that gentlemen ensnare
0:27:31 > 0:27:33# When you get to London, Nelly
0:27:33 > 0:27:34# And to Waterloo
0:27:35 > 0:27:39# There'll be crowds of lords and millionaires
0:27:39 > 0:27:41# All waiting there for you
0:27:43 > 0:27:44# But
0:27:44 > 0:27:46# Heaven will protect an honest girl
0:27:48 > 0:27:51# An an-gi-el will guard you, little Nell
0:27:52 > 0:27:54# When these rich men tempt you, Nelly
0:27:54 > 0:27:56# With their sparkling Moselley
0:27:56 > 0:28:01# Say "Nay, nay!" and do be very care-fu-el!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04# And if some old rascal roue swell
0:28:05 > 0:28:08# Says I'll kiss you, we're alone in this hotel
0:28:09 > 0:28:12# Nelly, pray he shall not do it
0:28:12 > 0:28:15# And then biff him with the cruet... # DRUM PLAYS
0:28:15 > 0:28:16LAUGHTER
0:28:17 > 0:28:22# And Heaven will protect an honest girl
0:28:22 > 0:28:24# La-da ti-dah, ti-dah, ti-dah
0:28:24 > 0:28:25# Di-dah, di-dah, di-dah, di-dah
0:28:25 > 0:28:27# Da-di, da-di, da-di
0:28:27 > 0:28:29# Da-di, da-di, dah
0:28:29 > 0:28:31# Oh-oh!
0:28:32 > 0:28:35# Heaven will protect an honest girl
0:28:37 > 0:28:39# An an-gi-el will guard you, little Nell
0:28:41 > 0:28:43# When a rich men tempts you, Nelly
0:28:43 > 0:28:45# With his sparkling Moselley
0:28:45 > 0:28:48# Say "Nay, nay" and do be very care-fu-el!
0:28:50 > 0:28:54# And if some old bloated blase roue swell
0:28:54 > 0:28:59# Says I'll kiss you, we're alone in this hotel
0:28:59 > 0:29:01# Nelly, pray he shall not do it
0:29:02 > 0:29:05# And then biff him with the cruet... # DRUM PLAYS
0:29:05 > 0:29:06LAUGHTER
0:29:08 > 0:29:10# And Heaven will protect an honest girl
0:29:12 > 0:29:14# La-da ti-dah, ti-dah, ti-dah
0:29:14 > 0:29:16# Ti-dah, ti-dah, ti-dah
0:29:16 > 0:29:18# Ooh! #
0:29:18 > 0:29:20MUSIC ENDS
0:29:20 > 0:29:21APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:29:26 > 0:29:28- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:29:28 > 0:29:29Right.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31MUSIC HALL MUSIC PLAYS
0:29:34 > 0:29:35# Here is a picture
0:29:35 > 0:29:38# A man and a girl
0:29:38 > 0:29:42# Strolling along in the shade
0:29:42 > 0:29:46# He is a marquess The son of an earl
0:29:46 > 0:29:50# She is a pure village maid
0:29:52 > 0:29:54# He tells her he loves her
0:29:54 > 0:29:57# Again and again
0:29:57 > 0:30:00# She thinks he is loyal and true
0:30:02 > 0:30:08# And then comes the night that he gives her champagne
0:30:08 > 0:30:13# And does what he ought not to do... #
0:30:13 > 0:30:15LAUGHTER
0:30:15 > 0:30:20# Only a glass of champagne Ooh
0:30:20 > 0:30:24# But it led a poor girl into sin... #
0:30:25 > 0:30:30AUDIENCE JOINS IN SINGING # Only a glass of champagne
0:30:30 > 0:30:34# Was the door where the devil crept in
0:30:34 > 0:30:37# It's just an old story
0:30:37 > 0:30:39# It's always the same
0:30:39 > 0:30:43# Just like a poor moth She flew too near the flame
0:30:43 > 0:30:46# She opened her wings
0:30:46 > 0:30:50# And she lost her good name
0:30:50 > 0:30:55# All through a glass of champagne... #
0:30:55 > 0:30:58Oh!
0:30:58 > 0:31:00A glass of champagne!
0:31:00 > 0:31:05# But it led a poor girl into sin
0:31:05 > 0:31:08# Only a glass of champagne
0:31:08 > 0:31:14# Was the door where the devil crept in
0:31:14 > 0:31:16# So all you young maidens
0:31:16 > 0:31:18# Take warning from her
0:31:18 > 0:31:23# If you're taken out by a lord or a sir
0:31:23 > 0:31:29# Be careful you don't let the same thing occur
0:31:29 > 0:31:35# All through a glass of champagne. #
0:31:35 > 0:31:38CHEERING
0:31:43 > 0:31:45BAND PLAYS MUSIC
0:31:50 > 0:31:53CHEERING
0:32:04 > 0:32:07Sartorially resplendent.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Vocally velutinous.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:32:14 > 0:32:15Velvety.
0:32:15 > 0:32:20Your own, your very own Mr Frankie Vaughan.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:26 > 0:32:32MUSIC: Paradise by Frankie Vaughan
0:32:32 > 0:32:39# And then she holds my hand
0:32:39 > 0:32:42# La-la-la-la
0:32:42 > 0:32:46# La-la-la-la
0:32:46 > 0:32:52# And then I understand
0:32:52 > 0:32:55# La-la-la-la
0:32:55 > 0:32:59# La-la-la-la
0:32:59 > 0:33:06# Her eyes afire
0:33:06 > 0:33:11# With one desire
0:33:13 > 0:33:18# Then a heavenly kiss
0:33:21 > 0:33:27# Could I resist?
0:33:27 > 0:33:34# And then she dims the light
0:33:34 > 0:33:37# La-la-la-la
0:33:37 > 0:33:41# La-la-la-la
0:33:41 > 0:33:46# And then I hold her tight... #
0:33:46 > 0:33:49LAUGHTER
0:33:49 > 0:33:52# La-la-la-la
0:33:52 > 0:33:55# La-la-la-la
0:33:55 > 0:33:59# Each kiss
0:33:59 > 0:34:03# The sweet caress
0:34:03 > 0:34:08# Will lead the way to happiness... #
0:34:10 > 0:34:13MUSIC STOPS Yes.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15LAUGHTER Oh, yes.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19No?
0:34:19 > 0:34:21# She takes me
0:34:23 > 0:34:31# To paradise. #
0:34:50 > 0:34:54CHEERING
0:34:56 > 0:34:58Oh...
0:35:00 > 0:35:03It was nothing, really. I just... LAUGHTER
0:35:03 > 0:35:05MUSIC: Cecilia, Does Your Mother Know You're Out?
0:35:05 > 0:35:07Evening.
0:35:08 > 0:35:12# Does your mother know you're out?
0:35:12 > 0:35:16# Cecilia
0:35:16 > 0:35:19# Two, three, four
0:35:19 > 0:35:24# Does she know that I'm about?
0:35:24 > 0:35:28# Cecilia
0:35:28 > 0:35:30# Two, three, four
0:35:30 > 0:35:33# Oh, my
0:35:33 > 0:35:35# When I
0:35:35 > 0:35:39# Look in your eyes
0:35:42 > 0:35:47# Something tells me
0:35:48 > 0:35:53# You and I should get together
0:35:53 > 0:35:59# How's about a little kiss?
0:35:59 > 0:36:03# Cecilia
0:36:03 > 0:36:05# Two, three, four
0:36:05 > 0:36:07# Just a kiss
0:36:07 > 0:36:10# You'll never miss
0:36:10 > 0:36:14# Cecilia
0:36:14 > 0:36:17# Two, three, four
0:36:17 > 0:36:22# Why do we two
0:36:22 > 0:36:26# Keep on wasting time?
0:36:28 > 0:36:31# Oh, Cecilia
0:36:31 > 0:36:34# Say that you'll be mine. #
0:36:34 > 0:36:36MUSIC: On Mother Kelly's Doorstep
0:36:36 > 0:36:40# On Mother Kelly's doorstep
0:36:40 > 0:36:45# Down Paradise Row
0:36:45 > 0:36:49# I'd sit along o' Nelly
0:36:49 > 0:36:54# She'd sit along o' Joe
0:36:54 > 0:36:57# Got a little hole in her frock
0:36:57 > 0:36:59# A hole in her shoe
0:36:59 > 0:37:01# A hole in her stocking
0:37:01 > 0:37:04# Where her toe peeps through
0:37:04 > 0:37:11# But Nelly was the smartest down our alley
0:37:11 > 0:37:15# On Mother Kelly's doorstep
0:37:15 > 0:37:20# I'm wondering now
0:37:20 > 0:37:24# If little girl Nelly
0:37:24 > 0:37:26# Remembers Joe... #
0:37:26 > 0:37:28LAUGHTER
0:37:28 > 0:37:37# And does she love me like she used to?
0:37:37 > 0:37:42# On Mother Kelly's doorstep
0:37:42 > 0:37:46# Down Paradise Row. #
0:37:46 > 0:37:49CHEERING
0:37:54 > 0:37:56WHISTLING
0:37:59 > 0:38:01- Huh? AUDIENCE:- More!
0:38:01 > 0:38:05CHEERING
0:38:10 > 0:38:13HE COUGHS
0:38:13 > 0:38:15LAUGHTER Now...
0:38:15 > 0:38:17MUSIC: Give Me The Moonlight, Give Me The Girl
0:38:17 > 0:38:21# I never worry if a girl is bashful
0:38:21 > 0:38:24# Or if a girl is shy
0:38:24 > 0:38:28# I never worry if she has that
0:38:28 > 0:38:36# "Don't you dare to kiss me" in her eye... #
0:38:38 > 0:38:40LAUGHTER
0:38:40 > 0:38:43# I never worry
0:38:43 > 0:38:45# When I need some lovin'
0:38:46 > 0:38:49# I know just what to try
0:38:50 > 0:38:54# You may wonder what I do
0:38:54 > 0:38:57# There's nothin' strange about it... #
0:38:57 > 0:38:59LAUGHTER
0:38:59 > 0:39:02# Here is all I ask
0:39:02 > 0:39:05# Of you-ou-ou-ou-ou... #
0:39:05 > 0:39:08AUDIENCE HOWLS ALONG
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Bernard, hooligans. What's this?
0:39:10 > 0:39:13LAUGHTER
0:39:13 > 0:39:17# Give me the moonlight
0:39:17 > 0:39:20# Give me the girl... # APPLAUSE
0:39:20 > 0:39:26# And leave the rest to me
0:39:27 > 0:39:31# Give me a shady nook
0:39:31 > 0:39:35# By a babbling brook
0:39:35 > 0:39:41# Where no-one else can see
0:39:41 > 0:39:45# Give me a bench for two
0:39:45 > 0:39:49# Where we can bill and coo
0:39:49 > 0:39:56# And mine she's gonna be
0:39:56 > 0:40:00# If there's anyone in doubt
0:40:00 > 0:40:04# And they'd like to try me out
0:40:04 > 0:40:07# Give me the moonlight
0:40:07 > 0:40:11# Give me the girl
0:40:11 > 0:40:18# And leave the rest to me
0:40:22 > 0:40:24# Give me the girl
0:40:29 > 0:40:32# To me
0:40:46 > 0:40:50# Give me a bench for two
0:40:50 > 0:40:54# Where we can bill and coo
0:40:54 > 0:41:01# And mine she's gonna be
0:41:15 > 0:41:20# And leave the rest to me
0:41:22 > 0:41:26# Give me a bench for two
0:41:26 > 0:41:29# Where we can bill and coo
0:41:30 > 0:41:37# And mine she's gonna be
0:41:37 > 0:41:41# If there's anyone in doubt
0:41:41 > 0:41:45# And they'd like to try me out
0:41:45 > 0:41:48# Give me the moonlight
0:41:48 > 0:41:50# Give me the girl
0:41:51 > 0:41:56# And leave the rest
0:41:56 > 0:41:58# To me. #
0:42:00 > 0:42:03HE MOUTHS
0:42:16 > 0:42:19CHEERING
0:42:29 > 0:42:33In total tribute to Miss Marie Lloyd,
0:42:33 > 0:42:39once again, The Players Theatre, plus Miss Jan Hunt.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:41 > 0:42:45MUSIC: One Of The Ruins That Cromwell Knocked About by Marie Lloyd
0:42:45 > 0:42:49# She's a bit of a ruin that Cromwell knocked about a bit
0:42:49 > 0:42:52# One that Oliver Cromwell knocked about a bit
0:42:52 > 0:42:54# In the gay old days
0:42:54 > 0:42:56# There used to be some doings
0:42:56 > 0:42:59# No wonder that the poor old Abbey went to ruins
0:42:59 > 0:43:03# But those who've studied history sing and shout of it
0:43:03 > 0:43:07# And you can bet your life There isn't a doubt of it
0:43:07 > 0:43:10# Outside the Oliver Cromwell last Saturday night
0:43:10 > 0:43:13# She was one of the ruins that Cromwell knocked about a bit
0:43:13 > 0:43:17# Outside the Oliver Crom Last Saturday night
0:43:17 > 0:43:21# I was one of the ruins that Cromwell knocked about a bit. #
0:43:21 > 0:43:23# Oh, Mr Porter
0:43:23 > 0:43:25# What shall I do?
0:43:25 > 0:43:27# I wanted to go to Birmingham
0:43:27 > 0:43:29# But they've taken me off to Crewe
0:43:29 > 0:43:31# Take me back to London
0:43:31 > 0:43:33# As quickly as you can
0:43:33 > 0:43:37# Oh, Mr Porter What a silly girl I am
0:43:37 > 0:43:40# Oh, Mr Porter What a silly girl I am. #
0:43:40 > 0:43:42# Well
0:43:42 > 0:43:46# I arrived at Euston by the midnight train
0:43:46 > 0:43:49# But when I got to the wicket
0:43:49 > 0:43:51# There someone wanted to punch my ticket
0:43:51 > 0:43:55# The guards and porters came round me by the score
0:43:55 > 0:44:00# And I told them all I'd never had my ticket punched before
0:44:00 > 0:44:04# She arrived at Euston by the midnight train
0:44:04 > 0:44:06# But when she got to the wicket
0:44:06 > 0:44:08# There someone wanted to punch her ticket
0:44:08 > 0:44:12# The guards and porters came round her by the score
0:44:12 > 0:44:17# And she told them all she'd never had her ticket punched before. #
0:44:17 > 0:44:20# When I'll
0:44:20 > 0:44:24# Take my morning promenade
0:44:24 > 0:44:27# Quite a fashion card
0:44:27 > 0:44:29# On the promenade
0:44:29 > 0:44:34# Oh, I don't mind nice boys staring hard
0:44:34 > 0:44:38# If it satisfies their desire
0:44:38 > 0:44:42# Do you think my dress is a little bit?
0:44:42 > 0:44:44# Just a little bit?
0:44:44 > 0:44:47# Well, not too much of it
0:44:47 > 0:44:49# Though it shows my shape
0:44:49 > 0:44:52# Just a little bit
0:44:52 > 0:44:56# That's the little bit the boys admire. #
0:44:56 > 0:44:58Oh!
0:45:01 > 0:45:03# Well
0:45:03 > 0:45:05# Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha
0:45:05 > 0:45:09# I always hold in having it if you fancy it
0:45:09 > 0:45:11# If you fancy it
0:45:11 > 0:45:13# That's understood
0:45:13 > 0:45:15# Well, suppose it makes you fat?
0:45:15 > 0:45:17# I don't worry over that
0:45:17 > 0:45:20# Cos a little of what you fancy does you good
0:45:20 > 0:45:22# Oh, sing it again Ooh
0:45:22 > 0:45:25# I always hold in having it if you fancy it
0:45:25 > 0:45:29# If you fancy it That's understood
0:45:29 > 0:45:31# And suppose it makes you fat?
0:45:31 > 0:45:33# I don't worry over that
0:45:33 > 0:45:36# Cos a little of what you fancy does you good
0:45:36 > 0:45:38# Does you good. #
0:45:38 > 0:45:41MUSIC: She'd Never Had A Lesson In Her Life
0:45:46 > 0:45:48# Mary was fond of music
0:45:48 > 0:45:50# Mary Green was very smart
0:45:50 > 0:45:52# Every kind of melody
0:45:52 > 0:45:54# She used to play by heart
0:45:54 > 0:45:56# Even when just a little child
0:45:56 > 0:45:59# She never was a dunce
0:45:59 > 0:46:00# Sat at her grand piano
0:46:00 > 0:46:03# And she played it off at once
0:46:03 > 0:46:07# They had a fellow used to call And his name was Mr Gee
0:46:07 > 0:46:09# He had a lovely voice
0:46:09 > 0:46:12# And he was lovely company
0:46:12 > 0:46:14# Whenever he was asked to sing
0:46:14 > 0:46:17# He always used to say
0:46:17 > 0:46:25# "Delighted, if dear Mary only says that she will play"
0:46:26 > 0:46:29# Clever Mary
0:46:29 > 0:46:31# Clever Mary Green
0:46:31 > 0:46:35# She always was as sharp as any knife
0:46:35 > 0:46:39# Now, when she played for Mr Gee
0:46:39 > 0:46:43# She could always find HIS key
0:46:43 > 0:46:47# Though she'd never had a lesson in her life
0:46:47 > 0:46:48# Oh
0:46:48 > 0:46:51# Clever Marie
0:46:51 > 0:46:53# Clever Marie Lloyd
0:46:53 > 0:46:56# She always was as sharp as any knife
0:46:56 > 0:47:00# Though not as sharp as my old man
0:47:00 > 0:47:03# He's shoving things inside the van
0:47:03 > 0:47:07# And he's never had a lesson in his life. #
0:47:08 > 0:47:10# Oh, my old man
0:47:10 > 0:47:15# Said "Follow the van and don't dilly-dally on the way"
0:47:15 > 0:47:19# Off went the van with my home packed in it
0:47:19 > 0:47:22# And I followed on with my old cock linnet
0:47:22 > 0:47:24# I dillied I dallied
0:47:24 > 0:47:26# Dallied and I dillied
0:47:26 > 0:47:29# I lost my way and don't know where to roam
0:47:29 > 0:47:33# Well, I stopped on the way to have my old half quarten
0:47:33 > 0:47:35# Now I can't find my way home
0:47:35 > 0:47:36# All together
0:47:36 > 0:47:43# My old man said "Follow the van and don't dilly-dally on the way"
0:47:43 > 0:47:47# Off went the van with my home packed in it
0:47:47 > 0:47:49# I followed on with my old cock linnet
0:47:49 > 0:47:52- # I dillied and dallied - Whoo
0:47:52 > 0:47:54# Dallied and dillied
0:47:54 > 0:47:57# I lost my way and don't know where to roam
0:47:57 > 0:48:00# Oh, you can't trust the specials like the old-time coppers
0:48:00 > 0:48:04# When you can't find your way home
0:48:04 > 0:48:05# Oh, you can't trust the specials
0:48:05 > 0:48:07# Like the old-time coppers
0:48:07 > 0:48:14# When you can't find your way home. #
0:48:14 > 0:48:17CHEERING
0:48:17 > 0:48:18Whoo!
0:48:20 > 0:48:23WHISTLING AND CHEERING
0:48:31 > 0:48:33There's time...
0:48:33 > 0:48:35There's just time for...
0:48:35 > 0:48:38Mr Frankie Vaughan to lead the company and yourselves
0:48:38 > 0:48:41in the last chorus for tonight, Down At The Old Bull And Bush.
0:48:41 > 0:48:45Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Frankie Vaughan, the entire company,
0:48:45 > 0:48:49Mr Bernard Hermann and the entire, and dedicated orchestra.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52CHEERING
0:48:52 > 0:48:56And this time, chiefly, yourselves!
0:49:00 > 0:49:04# Come, come Come and make eyes at me
0:49:04 > 0:49:06# Down at the old Bull and Bush
0:49:06 > 0:49:08# Na-na-na-na-na
0:49:08 > 0:49:11# Come, come Drink some more wine with me
0:49:11 > 0:49:15# Down at the old Bull and Bush
0:49:15 > 0:49:17# Hear the little German band
0:49:17 > 0:49:19# Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
0:49:19 > 0:49:22# Just let me hold your hand dear
0:49:22 > 0:49:26# Do, do Come and have a drink or two
0:49:26 > 0:49:29# Down at the old Bull and Bush
0:49:29 > 0:49:31# Bush, Bush. #
0:49:31 > 0:49:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE