0:00:02 > 0:00:05ORCHESTRA PLAYS
0:00:08 > 0:00:12# You are my honey, honeysuckle
0:00:12 > 0:00:16# I am the bee
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# I'd like to sip the honey sweet
0:00:19 > 0:00:23# From those red lips, you see
0:00:23 > 0:00:27# I love you dearly, dearly
0:00:27 > 0:00:31# And I want you to love me
0:00:31 > 0:00:35# You are my honey, honeysuckle
0:00:35 > 0:00:41# I am the bee. #
0:00:45 > 0:00:47ORCHESTRA PLAYS
0:00:49 > 0:00:52CHEERING
0:00:58 > 0:00:59CHEERING
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Once again!
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- ALL:- Good evening! - Lovely.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Periphrastically!
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Ooooh!
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Para-polysyllabic!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Ohhh!
0:01:20 > 0:01:25Primarily promulgating... the multipotent Players' Theatre
0:01:25 > 0:01:31in perimeter to the irrepressibly unpredictable
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Miss Sheila Steafel.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36MUSIC: Oh! Mr Porter
0:01:36 > 0:01:39CHATTER
0:01:41 > 0:01:45# Oh! Mr Porter, what shall I do?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47# I wanted to go to Birmingham
0:01:47 > 0:01:48# And they're taking me on to Crewe
0:01:48 > 0:01:52# Take me back to London as quickly as you can
0:01:52 > 0:01:56# Oh! Mr Porter What a silly girl I am
0:01:56 > 0:02:00# Send her back to London as quickly as you can
0:02:00 > 0:02:03# Oh! Mr Porter What a silly girl I am
0:02:05 > 0:02:09# Watching the trains come in
0:02:09 > 0:02:13# Watching the trains come in
0:02:13 > 0:02:17# We sit and hold each other's hand
0:02:17 > 0:02:22# As only lovers understand
0:02:22 > 0:02:27# Watching the trains come in
0:02:27 > 0:02:30- # Hearing the porter shout... # - All aboard!
0:02:30 > 0:02:35# When we have watched all the trains come in
0:02:35 > 0:02:38# We watch all the trains go out
0:02:40 > 0:02:44# Daddy's on the engine
0:02:44 > 0:02:48# Don't be afraid
0:02:48 > 0:02:53# Daddy knows what he is doing
0:02:53 > 0:02:57# Said the little maid
0:02:57 > 0:03:01# We'll never be in danger
0:03:01 > 0:03:05# Don't you ever fear
0:03:05 > 0:03:09# Everyone is safe
0:03:09 > 0:03:14# Because my daddy's the engineer
0:03:15 > 0:03:18# Everyone is safe
0:03:18 > 0:03:22# Because her daddy's the engineer
0:03:26 > 0:03:30# I arrived at Euston by the midnight train
0:03:30 > 0:03:31# But when I got to the wicket
0:03:31 > 0:03:34# There someone wanted to punch my ticket
0:03:34 > 0:03:38# The guards and porters came round me by the score
0:03:38 > 0:03:41# And I told them all I'd never had my ticket punched before
0:03:41 > 0:03:46# She arrived at Euston by the midnight train
0:03:46 > 0:03:48# But when she got to the wicket
0:03:48 > 0:03:50# There someone wanted to punch her ticket
0:03:50 > 0:03:53# The guards and porters came round her by the score
0:03:53 > 0:03:57# And she told them all she'd never had her ticket punched before. #
0:03:57 > 0:03:59WHISTLE BLOWS
0:03:59 > 0:04:02MUSIC: When the Midnight Choo-Choo Leaves for Alabam'
0:04:02 > 0:04:07# When the midnight choo-choo leaves for Alabam'
0:04:07 > 0:04:09# I'll be right there
0:04:09 > 0:04:12# I've got my fare
0:04:12 > 0:04:17# When I see that rusty-haired conductor man
0:04:17 > 0:04:19# I'll grab him by the collar
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- # And I'll holler - Alabam'! Alabam'!
0:04:22 > 0:04:25# That's where you stop your train
0:04:25 > 0:04:27# That brings me back again
0:04:27 > 0:04:29# Down home where I'll remain
0:04:29 > 0:04:33# Where my honey lamb am
0:04:33 > 0:04:36# I will be right there with bells
0:04:36 > 0:04:38# When that old conductor yells
0:04:38 > 0:04:41# All aboard! All aboard!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44# All aboard for Alabam'
0:04:44 > 0:04:46# All aboard! All aboard!
0:04:46 > 0:04:52# All aboard for Alabam'! #
0:04:52 > 0:04:55APPLAUSE
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Ebullient...
0:05:07 > 0:05:10terpsichorean...
0:05:10 > 0:05:12bucolicism...
0:05:12 > 0:05:15morris dancing.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Twinning in tintinnabulation,
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Mr Ray C Davis and Mr Tudor Davies.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25CHEERING
0:05:25 > 0:05:27MUSIC: Come To The Fair
0:05:33 > 0:05:35# The sun is a-shining to welcome the day
0:05:35 > 0:05:38# With a heigh-ho, come to the fair
0:05:38 > 0:05:41# The folks all singing So merry and gay
0:05:41 > 0:05:43# With a heigh-ho, come to the fair
0:05:43 > 0:05:46# All the stalls on the green are as bright as can be
0:05:46 > 0:05:48# With trinkets and tokens So plenty to see
0:05:48 > 0:05:51# So it's come, then, maidens and men
0:05:51 > 0:05:54# To the fair in the pride of the morning
0:05:54 > 0:05:56# So lock up your house There'll be plenty of fun
0:05:56 > 0:05:59# With a heigh-ho
0:05:59 > 0:06:01# Come to the fair. #
0:06:06 > 0:06:08MUSIC CHANGES
0:06:11 > 0:06:13HONK!
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Boys, boys, boys, boys!
0:06:33 > 0:06:35Boys!
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Abandon this belligerent bellicosity.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I should think so, too.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46GENTLE MUSIC
0:07:04 > 0:07:06APPLAUSE
0:07:06 > 0:07:08ORCHESTRA PLAYS
0:07:33 > 0:07:35HE YELLS
0:07:37 > 0:07:39MUSIC: Come to the Fair
0:07:42 > 0:07:45MUSIC QUICKENS
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Hey!
0:07:47 > 0:07:48BOTH: Whoa!
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Hey!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55# So deck yourselves out in your finest array
0:07:55 > 0:07:57# With a heigh-ho, come to the fair
0:07:57 > 0:07:59# Maidens and men, come to the fair
0:07:59 > 0:08:01# Come to the fair in the morning
0:08:01 > 0:08:02# With a heigh-ho
0:08:02 > 0:08:09# Come to the fai-ai-air. #
0:08:09 > 0:08:12APPLAUSE
0:08:25 > 0:08:27CHEERING
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Continentally contributory
0:08:41 > 0:08:46to our corybantic cornucopia...
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Oooh!
0:08:47 > 0:08:49More dancing.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Welcome to the convulsive capriciousness...
0:08:53 > 0:08:55LAUGHTER
0:08:55 > 0:08:59..of Elsa and Waldo.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01CHEERING
0:09:01 > 0:09:03ORCHESTRA PLAYS
0:10:16 > 0:10:18APPLAUSE
0:11:23 > 0:11:26MUSIC BUILDS
0:11:32 > 0:11:34MUSIC STOPS
0:11:34 > 0:11:35APPLAUSE
0:11:56 > 0:11:58THEY SUCK IN AIR SHARPLY
0:12:13 > 0:12:14SMOOCHING
0:12:37 > 0:12:38SHE EXCLAIMS
0:12:44 > 0:12:45Ohh!
0:12:55 > 0:12:57TAP DANCING
0:13:08 > 0:13:10SHE WITTERS
0:13:13 > 0:13:15SHE WITTERS
0:13:35 > 0:13:36CLICK, CLICK
0:13:40 > 0:13:41CLICK
0:13:43 > 0:13:44CLICK
0:13:46 > 0:13:47CLICK, CLICK
0:13:49 > 0:13:50CLICK, CLICK
0:13:51 > 0:13:53CLICK, CLICK
0:13:55 > 0:13:57TAP DANCING
0:14:01 > 0:14:03SHE YELPS EXCITEDLY
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Stop it!
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Ohh! Oh!
0:14:22 > 0:14:23SHE GIGGLES
0:14:25 > 0:14:26CLICK, CLICK
0:14:31 > 0:14:33SHE EXCLAIMS
0:14:33 > 0:14:36DRUMS PLAY
0:14:36 > 0:14:38CYMBAL CRASHES
0:14:38 > 0:14:39APPLAUSE
0:14:39 > 0:14:41ORCHESTRA PLAYS A SLOW TUNE
0:15:06 > 0:15:11- Liquescent lilt of Lehar... - Ohhh!
0:15:11 > 0:15:14..symphonic swirl of Strauss
0:15:14 > 0:15:21in a Viennese extravaganza involving Players' Theatre Cavaliers
0:15:21 > 0:15:25and the ravishingly velutinous...
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Miss Rita Morris!
0:15:31 > 0:15:34# As the years roll on
0:15:34 > 0:15:36# After youth has gone
0:15:36 > 0:15:39# We will remember Vienna
0:15:39 > 0:15:41# Whence did they come
0:15:41 > 0:15:43# Where did they go
0:15:43 > 0:15:51# Those wonderful songs of Vienna? #
0:15:53 > 0:15:56APPLAUSE
0:16:00 > 0:16:03SHE SINGS IN GERMAN
0:17:37 > 0:17:40APPLAUSE
0:17:44 > 0:17:46# Are you going to dance?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48# Mon ami, mon ami
0:17:48 > 0:17:51# Well, do I have a chance?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53# Not with me, as you see
0:17:53 > 0:17:54# Do you find any faults
0:17:54 > 0:17:57# In the way that I waltz?
0:17:57 > 0:18:01# If you do, won't you please explain
0:18:01 > 0:18:05# Shall we try, just we two?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07# You and I
0:18:07 > 0:18:09# I and you
0:18:09 > 0:18:13# Let us believe the dream is true
0:18:13 > 0:18:15# That you love me
0:18:15 > 0:18:19# And I love you
0:18:19 > 0:18:24# Say not love is a dream
0:18:24 > 0:18:28# Say not that dream is vain
0:18:28 > 0:18:34# Say not that cruel fate will redeem
0:18:34 > 0:18:38# Every joy with pain
0:18:38 > 0:18:43# Look not, look not beyond
0:18:43 > 0:18:48# Joy so dear
0:18:48 > 0:18:53# Two hearts may not despond
0:18:53 > 0:18:58# For love knows naught of fear
0:18:58 > 0:19:03# Love breaks every bond
0:19:03 > 0:19:08# And love, true love
0:19:08 > 0:19:14# Is here. #
0:19:20 > 0:19:26# One day when we were young
0:19:26 > 0:19:32# One wonderful morning in May
0:19:32 > 0:19:39# You told me you loved me
0:19:39 > 0:19:45# When we were young one day
0:19:45 > 0:19:49# You told me you loved me
0:19:49 > 0:19:53# And held me to your heart
0:19:53 > 0:19:57# We laughed then and cried then
0:19:57 > 0:20:05# Then came the time to part
0:20:08 > 0:20:15# When songs of spring are sung
0:20:15 > 0:20:21# Remember that morning in May
0:20:21 > 0:20:31# Remember you loved me
0:20:32 > 0:20:39# When we were young
0:20:39 > 0:20:48# One day. #
0:20:48 > 0:20:51APPLAUSE
0:20:52 > 0:20:56# Good wines if you can afford 'em, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:20:56 > 0:20:59# Soon do away with boredom, tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:20:59 > 0:21:01# Champagne can make you gladsome
0:21:01 > 0:21:03# I know because I've had some
0:21:03 > 0:21:05# A rosy glow inside you
0:21:05 > 0:21:07# No conscience left to guide you
0:21:07 > 0:21:08# A toast, a toast!
0:21:08 > 0:21:10# To get another drink
0:21:10 > 0:21:14# Join with me in praising the wine we love the most
0:21:14 > 0:21:16# A toast, a toast
0:21:16 > 0:21:19# A-ha!
0:21:19 > 0:21:22# Champagne is quite the modern thing
0:21:22 > 0:21:24# King of wine, wine of kings
0:21:24 > 0:21:27# We give you this sparkled drink, tra-la-la-la, champagne
0:21:27 > 0:21:29# Champagne is quite the modern thing
0:21:29 > 0:21:31# King of wine, wine of kings
0:21:31 > 0:21:33# We give you this sparkled drink
0:21:33 > 0:21:36# Ah-ha-ha-haaaaa
0:21:36 > 0:21:39# Champagne
0:21:39 > 0:21:43# La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la, oi! #
0:21:43 > 0:21:45APPLAUSE
0:21:56 > 0:22:01# Danube so blue
0:22:01 > 0:22:06# Sweet memories of you
0:22:06 > 0:22:10# Still winding along
0:22:10 > 0:22:14# Live on like a song
0:22:14 > 0:22:19# So gently you flow
0:22:19 > 0:22:23# Far down to the sea
0:22:23 > 0:22:26# And we will agree
0:22:26 > 0:22:28# On our paths
0:22:28 > 0:22:34# You will see in our
0:22:34 > 0:22:44# Our hearts. #
0:22:59 > 0:23:03An engagingly inexhaustible inundation...
0:23:05 > 0:23:08..of nugatory inanities...
0:23:09 > 0:23:11..silly trifles...
0:23:12 > 0:23:16..from two incorrigible messrs,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18messrs,
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Dailey & Wayne.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23APPLAUSE
0:23:30 > 0:23:37# Roses are shining in Picardy
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# In the hush of... #
0:23:40 > 0:23:43LOUD MARTIAL DRUMMING INTERRUPTS MUSIC
0:23:53 > 0:23:55Thank you, thank you!
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Thank you!
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Thanking you. Thank you.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Thank you.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08- Are you Mr Dailey?- Correct.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10I've got a telegram for you, sir.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Would you mind reading it? - Yes, I will.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14"Dear Mr Dailey,
0:24:14 > 0:24:16"you've just become the father of triplets."
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- Well, I never did. - Go on, you must have done.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25That's wonderful, sir, innit?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27How do you know?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- That calls for a celebration. - Really?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Come in next door, I'll buy you a drink.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34Uh, I don't drink.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35Well, have a cigar.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I don't smoke.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40You don't drink, you don't smoke?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- What do you do?- Read that telegram.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46It's good, that, love, innit, eh?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- It's cheeky.- Enjoying yourself?
0:24:48 > 0:24:49- Yes.- Why, what are you doing?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55- Where are you from, love? - Bishop Auckland.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Oh, Bishop Auckland!
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Ooh, really?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Ooh, Bishop Auckland.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Oh!
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- It's very posh there. - Very posh.- Oh, very posh.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Get your fish and chips in a violin case there!
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- You shouldn't say things like that to these people.- No?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18This is a beautiful audience.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Look at the character, just look at the character on those faces.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Yeah, and look at the faces on those characters.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27You shouldn't really say that.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29These people don't come here to be insulted, you know.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Where do they generally go?
0:25:32 > 0:25:33Bishop Auckland!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39I think you should apologise to the chairman for insulting his audience.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42No, really and truthfully, I am sorry.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45I'll apologise to you in French.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Do you speak French?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Heureusement, je peux me debrouiller.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- AUDIENCE:- Ohhh!
0:25:53 > 0:25:55I beg your pardon?
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Je dis, je peux me debrouiller.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Yeah, you clean it up.
0:26:02 > 0:26:03I'll apologise in German.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- Mr Sachs.- Oh!
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Do you mind idiots on this show?
0:26:08 > 0:26:11I certainly do mind idiots on the show.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14Well, would you mind him until I finish singing?
0:26:14 > 0:26:17They don't think much of you, do they?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Maestro, Mary.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23You know this.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27# Her name was Mary, Mary
0:26:27 > 0:26:29# Plain as any name can be... #
0:26:29 > 0:26:31"And in society..."
0:26:31 > 0:26:32# And in society
0:26:32 > 0:26:35# Propriety
0:26:35 > 0:26:39# Will say "Marie"
0:26:39 > 0:26:42# But it was Mary, Mary... #
0:26:42 > 0:26:44"Long before the fashion came."
0:26:44 > 0:26:47# Long before the fashions came
0:26:47 > 0:26:49# For there is something there
0:26:49 > 0:26:54# That sounds so rare, it's a grand old name... #
0:27:52 > 0:27:53All right!
0:28:04 > 0:28:09Some among you will undoubtedly remember the honourable Emmeline.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11Who could ever forget...
0:28:12 > 0:28:14..her rendering
0:28:14 > 0:28:17of I'm A Little Too Young To Know?
0:28:17 > 0:28:22But she has since acquired some experience...
0:28:22 > 0:28:25of eurhythmic dancing
0:28:25 > 0:28:27and she's nearly learnt a song.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:28:29 > 0:28:32So here I am, it's my duty to foist her on you again.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36Ladies and gentlemen, to your amazement,
0:28:36 > 0:28:41the honourable Emmeline Wellington Boot!
0:28:41 > 0:28:43CHEERING
0:28:54 > 0:28:56LAUGHTER
0:29:03 > 0:29:10- TUNELESSLY:- # A hermit who dwells in these solitudes crossed me
0:29:10 > 0:29:15# As wayworn and faint up the mountains I pressed
0:29:17 > 0:29:22# The aged man leaned on his staff to accost me
0:29:25 > 0:29:31# And proffered his cell as my mansion of rest
0:29:31 > 0:29:35# And nay, dearest father, right onward I rove
0:29:35 > 0:29:41# No rest but the grave for the pilgrim of love
0:29:42 > 0:29:46# Fo-o-or the
0:29:46 > 0:29:51# Pilgrim of love, for the pilgrim of love
0:29:51 > 0:29:53# Rest but the grave
0:29:53 > 0:29:55# Fo-o-or
0:29:55 > 0:29:59# The pilgrim of love
0:30:14 > 0:30:20# But shaking his head, he denied my refusal
0:30:20 > 0:30:25# And taking my hand to his cave I was led
0:30:25 > 0:30:30# And there he laid bare all his wealth for perusal
0:30:36 > 0:30:39# It quite overwhelmed me
0:30:39 > 0:30:42# But bravely I said
0:30:42 > 0:30:47# Nay, dearest father, right onward I rove
0:30:47 > 0:30:51# No rest but the grave for the pilgrim of love... #
0:30:51 > 0:30:53SHE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:30:53 > 0:30:57# Fo-o-or the
0:30:57 > 0:31:01# Pilgrim of love, for the pilgrim of love
0:31:01 > 0:31:05# No rest but the grave fo-o-or
0:31:05 > 0:31:09# The pilgrim of love
0:31:09 > 0:31:15# "I am but a maiden," I said to him blushing
0:31:17 > 0:31:22# And mother has hopes of a wedding in white
0:31:24 > 0:31:28# He answered, "Come taste of the grapes I've been crushing
0:31:31 > 0:31:34# "Honi soit qui mal y pense"
0:31:34 > 0:31:36# I said, "Quite"
0:31:36 > 0:31:42# Yes, dearest father, I rest in your grove
0:31:42 > 0:31:47# It seems the right place for the pilgrim of loove...love
0:31:47 > 0:31:50# Fo-o-or the
0:31:50 > 0:31:55# Pilgrim of love, for the pilgrim of love
0:31:55 > 0:31:58# It seems the right place
0:31:58 > 0:32:03# Fo-o-o-o-o-orrr
0:32:03 > 0:32:08# The pi-ilgr-i-im
0:32:08 > 0:32:13# O-o-o-o-of
0:32:17 > 0:32:20# Love. #
0:32:39 > 0:32:42That was, of course, Ms Sheila Steafel.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46And now, for you participatory reciprocity,
0:32:46 > 0:32:50your own, your very, very own
0:32:50 > 0:32:52Val Doonican!
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Hey!
0:32:57 > 0:32:58Ho!
0:33:01 > 0:33:03Thank you!
0:33:13 > 0:33:17# A half a dozen tourists stood outside a Limerick bar
0:33:17 > 0:33:21# They thought they'd like to take a trip by Irish jaunting car
0:33:21 > 0:33:25# They jumped up on the side seats and started down the street
0:33:25 > 0:33:29# But they didn't see the character up in the driver's seat
0:33:32 > 0:33:35# The jarvey was a leprechaun and had some magic powers
0:33:35 > 0:33:39# He toured them through the Emerald Isle at 1,000mph
0:33:39 > 0:33:43# A phantom horse was in the shafts and no-one was surprised
0:33:43 > 0:33:48# For the jarvey was a leprechaun and he had them hypnotised
0:33:48 > 0:33:52# He showed them Connemara on the way to Ireland's eye
0:33:52 > 0:33:55# They heard him say that Galway Bay was frozen in July
0:33:55 > 0:33:59# He had them kiss the Blarney Stone on Ballybunion Strand
0:33:59 > 0:34:03# And a football team from Donegal was McNamara's band
0:34:03 > 0:34:08# Yes, the jarvey was a leprechaun and did the trip so fast
0:34:08 > 0:34:11# Although the horse had spouted wings, the pace it couldn't last
0:34:11 > 0:34:17# He drove them up the airy mount and down the rushy glen
0:34:17 > 0:34:21# And that jarvey and his passengers
0:34:21 > 0:34:29# Were never seen again. #
0:34:30 > 0:34:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46A very good evening to you. Have you had enough?
0:34:46 > 0:34:48- AUDIENCE:- No!
0:34:48 > 0:34:49I'll sit down.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52In case there's any people here who are not very well educated,
0:34:52 > 0:34:53I would like to explain that that song,
0:34:53 > 0:34:55the word "jarvey" in that song,
0:34:55 > 0:34:59is simply an ancient Irish word meaning a sort of cabbie,
0:34:59 > 0:35:02a fellow who drives a cab, or, in Ireland, a jaunting car,
0:35:02 > 0:35:03so there we are.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05I'm going to sing a song that I don't think you'll have
0:35:05 > 0:35:08any problems understanding at all. Here we go.
0:35:20 > 0:35:25# I'm going to marry in the fall
0:35:25 > 0:35:30# And I ain't going to marry in the spring
0:35:30 > 0:35:35# For I'm in love with a pretty girl
0:35:35 > 0:35:40# She wears a diamond ring
0:35:40 > 0:35:45# For I'm just a country boy
0:35:45 > 0:35:50# Money have I none
0:35:50 > 0:35:56# But I've got silver in the stars
0:35:56 > 0:36:01# Gold in the morning sun
0:36:01 > 0:36:05# Gold in the morning sun
0:36:13 > 0:36:18# I'm never going to kiss the ruby lips
0:36:18 > 0:36:23# Of the prettiest girl in town
0:36:23 > 0:36:28# I'm never going to ask her if she'll marry me
0:36:28 > 0:36:33# Cos I know she'll turn me down
0:36:33 > 0:36:38# Cos I'm just a country boy
0:36:38 > 0:36:43# Money have I none
0:36:43 > 0:36:48# But I've got silver in the stars
0:36:48 > 0:36:53# Gold in the morning sun
0:36:53 > 0:37:01# Gold in the morning sun. #
0:37:15 > 0:37:17Thank you!
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Thank you. Thank you very much.
0:37:29 > 0:37:30Thank you.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32I think, before I sing the next song,
0:37:32 > 0:37:34I would like to explain something and that is, to make it
0:37:34 > 0:37:38a bit interesting, in-between each verse, just to keep you awake,
0:37:38 > 0:37:40I've put little bits in for you to sing,
0:37:40 > 0:37:44so keep your ears open. It goes from ordinary common songs
0:37:44 > 0:37:46to rather good classical music,
0:37:46 > 0:37:48so we'll have the lot. Are we ready? Here we go.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51Now, just answer me. Shh...
0:37:54 > 0:37:56- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:37:56 > 0:37:58- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:37:58 > 0:38:00- HIGHER:- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:38:00 > 0:38:02- LOWER:- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Sh!
0:38:06 > 0:38:10# One fine, pleasant evening last summer
0:38:10 > 0:38:14# I was strolling through Couvenemy
0:38:14 > 0:38:18# When a couple of playboys was standing
0:38:18 > 0:38:22# Before me I happened to see
0:38:22 > 0:38:26# Now, to know what these fellas were up to
0:38:26 > 0:38:30# A trifle I hastened my walk
0:38:30 > 0:38:34# Pretty soon did I learn their profession
0:38:34 > 0:38:38# When I got within line of their talk
0:38:38 > 0:38:40- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:38:40 > 0:38:42- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:38:42 > 0:38:44- HIGHER:- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:38:44 > 0:38:46- LOWER:- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:38:46 > 0:38:50# Little Sir Echo, how do you do?
0:38:50 > 0:38:52# Hello
0:38:52 > 0:38:53# Hello... #
0:38:55 > 0:38:57LAUGHTER
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Second verse coming up.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05# Now, one of these lads was the devil
0:39:05 > 0:39:09# And the other was Bailiff McGlynn
0:39:09 > 0:39:13# And, sure, one was as nice as the other
0:39:13 > 0:39:17# For they both were as ugly as sin
0:39:17 > 0:39:21# Says the oul' lad, "You know, I'm the devil
0:39:21 > 0:39:25# "And you are the bailiff, I see"
0:39:25 > 0:39:28# "Tis the devil himself," says the bailiff
0:39:28 > 0:39:33# "Ah, sure, that beats the devil," says he
0:39:33 > 0:39:35- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:39:35 > 0:39:37- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:39:37 > 0:39:41# La-la-la-la-la
0:39:41 > 0:39:45# La-la-la-la-la
0:39:45 > 0:39:48- TO TUNE OF "MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN":- # La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:39:48 > 0:39:52# La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la... #
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Whistle, get ready.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59# La-la-la-la-la-la-la... #
0:39:59 > 0:40:02AUDIENCE WHISTLE ALONG
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Beautiful!
0:40:08 > 0:40:12# Then the young lad ran out of the cottage
0:40:12 > 0:40:16# And off with him over the fields
0:40:16 > 0:40:19# "May the devil take you," says his mother
0:40:19 > 0:40:23# As she rattled a stone off his heels
0:40:23 > 0:40:27# "Ah, sure, why don't you take the young rascal?"
0:40:27 > 0:40:31# "Your highness," the bailiff, he cried
0:40:31 > 0:40:35# "Ah, it was not from the heart that the wish came"
0:40:35 > 0:40:39# The devil he smiling replied
0:40:39 > 0:40:41- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:40:41 > 0:40:44- # Ah-ha - Ah-ha
0:40:44 > 0:40:46- TO TUNE OF "LA DONNA E MOBILE": - # La-la-la-la-la-la
0:40:46 > 0:40:48# La-la-la-la-la-la
0:40:48 > 0:40:50# La-la-la-la-la-la
0:40:50 > 0:40:52# La-la-la-la-la-la... #
0:40:54 > 0:40:59Getting classical now. Ready? Here we go, next one.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03- TO CLASSICAL WALTZ: - # La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:41:03 > 0:41:05# La-la-la-la-la-la
0:41:05 > 0:41:08# La-la-la-la-la-la... #
0:41:08 > 0:41:11- LAUGHTER - Do you mind? Wait for me.
0:41:13 > 0:41:17Here we go. Clever one.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19Three, four...
0:41:19 > 0:41:21# La-la-la-la Ha-ha-ha!
0:41:21 > 0:41:23# La-la-la-la Ha-ha-ha!
0:41:23 > 0:41:25# La-la-la-la Ha-ha-ha!
0:41:25 > 0:41:28# La-la-la-la Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! #
0:41:30 > 0:41:32I've been looking forward to this one.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Ready?
0:41:34 > 0:41:37After four. Two, three, four...
0:41:37 > 0:41:40# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daddle-da
0:41:40 > 0:41:42# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daddle-da
0:41:42 > 0:41:45# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daddle-da
0:41:45 > 0:41:46# Daddle-da-daddle-da-da! #
0:41:46 > 0:41:48By Jove, that was great!
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Well, what more can I say, really?
0:41:59 > 0:42:01All I can think of this -
0:42:01 > 0:42:04ladies and gentlemen, here we go.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07# Goodbye, goodbye
0:42:07 > 0:42:15# I wish you all a last goodbye! #
0:42:35 > 0:42:38CHEERING
0:42:44 > 0:42:46Now there's just time to ask Mr Val Doonican
0:42:46 > 0:42:49to lead the company and yourselves
0:42:49 > 0:42:52in the last chorus for tonight, Down At The Old Bull & Bush.
0:42:52 > 0:42:56Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Val Doonican, the entire company,
0:42:56 > 0:43:00Mr Bernard Herrmann and the entire and indefatigable orchestra...
0:43:00 > 0:43:03CHEERING
0:43:03 > 0:43:06..but this time, chiefly...
0:43:06 > 0:43:08- ALL:- Yourselves!
0:43:12 > 0:43:16# Come, come, come and make eyes at me
0:43:16 > 0:43:20# Down at the old Bull & Bush, tra-la-la-la-la
0:43:20 > 0:43:24# Come, come, drink some port wine with me
0:43:24 > 0:43:27# Down at the old Bull & Bush
0:43:28 > 0:43:32# Hear the little German band, la-la-la-la-la-la-la
0:43:32 > 0:43:36# Just let me hold your hand, dear
0:43:36 > 0:43:39# Do, do come and have a drink or two
0:43:39 > 0:43:43# Down at the old Bull & Bush
0:43:43 > 0:43:45# Bush, Bush! #
0:43:45 > 0:43:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE