0:00:10 > 0:00:13# She's my lady love
0:00:13 > 0:00:17# She is my dove My baby love
0:00:17 > 0:00:22# She's no girl for sitting down to dream
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# She's the only queen Laguna knows
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# I know she likes me
0:00:30 > 0:00:34# I know she likes me Because she says so
0:00:34 > 0:00:38# She is the Lily of Laguna
0:00:38 > 0:00:47# She is my Lily and my Rose. #
0:00:47 > 0:00:49APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:54 > 0:00:56APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:01:04 > 0:01:12Once again, good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14ALL: Good evening!
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Oh, that's lovely.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Anticipatorily...
0:01:17 > 0:01:18ALL: Oooh!
0:01:18 > 0:01:23..establishing cosmopolitanism...
0:01:23 > 0:01:28Iconic Iberian extravaganza...
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Songs about Spain,
0:01:32 > 0:01:37rousingly rendered by Mr Clifton Todd
0:01:37 > 0:01:40plus the Players Theatre!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48# List'n to me while I tell you
0:01:48 > 0:01:50# Of the Spaniard that blighted my life
0:01:50 > 0:01:53# La-la-la la-la la-la La-la-la la
0:01:53 > 0:01:55# List'n to me while I tell you
0:01:55 > 0:01:58# Of the man who pinched my future wife
0:01:58 > 0:01:59# La-la-la la
0:01:59 > 0:02:01# 'Twas at the bullfight that we met him
0:02:01 > 0:02:04# We'd been watching his daring display
0:02:04 > 0:02:07# And while we nipped out for some nuts and a programme
0:02:07 > 0:02:10# The dirty dog stole her away
0:02:10 > 0:02:13- # Oh, yes!- Oh, yes! - Oh, yes!- Oh, yes!
0:02:13 > 0:02:17# But tonight we will have our revenge
0:02:17 > 0:02:20# When
0:02:20 > 0:02:23# We catch Alphonso Spagoni the Toreador
0:02:23 > 0:02:26# La-la-la la-la la-la La-la-la la
0:02:26 > 0:02:29# With one mighty swipe we will dislocate his bally jaw
0:02:29 > 0:02:32# La-la-la la-la la-la La-la-la
0:02:32 > 0:02:34# We will find this bullfighter, we will
0:02:34 > 0:02:37# And when we catch the bounder The blighter we'll kill
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- # He shall die!- He shall die! - He shall die!- He shall die!
0:02:40 > 0:02:43# He shall die tiddly-i-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- # He shall die!- He shall die! - He shall die!- He shall die!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49# Oh, we'll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion
0:02:49 > 0:02:53# If we catch him bending tonight Ole! #
0:02:53 > 0:02:55APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:02:57 > 0:03:01# Tiddley-om pom! Tiddley-om pom! Tidley-om-pom-pom-pom-pay
0:03:01 > 0:03:05# Oh, the folks they do go on so In the land of King Alfonso
0:03:05 > 0:03:07# They're somewhat Of a rum lot
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# Well, the best thing I can say
0:03:09 > 0:03:13# Is pom-tiddley-om-pom-pom-pom-pom Tidley-om-pom-pom-pom-pay... #
0:03:15 > 0:03:20# Let us ride, ride, ride to my castle in Spain
0:03:20 > 0:03:23# Ride, ride, ride to my castle in Spain
0:03:23 > 0:03:27# By my side, side, side You will always remain
0:03:27 > 0:03:31# In my castle in sunny, sunny Spain Ole!
0:03:31 > 0:03:37# In my castle in sunny, sunny Spain... #
0:03:38 > 0:03:43# The dawn in the sky greets the day with a sigh
0:03:43 > 0:03:48# In Granada
0:03:49 > 0:03:52# For she can remember the splendour
0:03:52 > 0:03:58# That once was Granada
0:03:58 > 0:04:02# It still can be found in the hills all around
0:04:02 > 0:04:06# As I wander along
0:04:06 > 0:04:10# Entranced by the beauty before me
0:04:10 > 0:04:18# Entranced by a land full of sunshine and flowers and song
0:04:18 > 0:04:23# And when day is done and the sun starts to set
0:04:23 > 0:04:26# In Granada
0:04:26 > 0:04:29# La la-la-la la la-la-la la La-la-la la
0:04:29 > 0:04:35# I envy the blush of the snow-clad Sierra Nevada
0:04:35 > 0:04:38# La la-la-la la La-la-la la la-la-la la
0:04:38 > 0:04:44# For soon it will welcome the stars while a thousand guitars
0:04:44 > 0:04:49# Play a soft Habanera
0:04:49 > 0:04:56# Then moonlit Granada will live again
0:04:56 > 0:04:58# The glory of yesterday
0:04:58 > 0:05:07# Romantic and gay
0:05:07 > 0:05:08# Ole! #
0:05:20 > 0:05:23Trans-Atlanticism!
0:05:24 > 0:05:28Threnodic! From Threnody.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33Salutatory ostentation!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35American song and dance!
0:05:35 > 0:05:40Welcome back to Mr Peter Gale!
0:05:47 > 0:05:50# Down in Georgia there are peaches
0:05:50 > 0:05:53# Waitin' for ya, yes, and each is
0:05:53 > 0:05:56# Sweet as any peach
0:05:56 > 0:05:59# That you could reach for on a tree
0:05:59 > 0:06:03# Southern beauties, they are famous
0:06:03 > 0:06:06# Georgia's where they grow
0:06:06 > 0:06:09# My folks write me
0:06:09 > 0:06:11# They invite me
0:06:11 > 0:06:16# Don't you want to go?
0:06:16 > 0:06:23# Oh, everything is peaches down in Georgia
0:06:23 > 0:06:26# What a peach of a clime
0:06:26 > 0:06:29# For a peach of a time
0:06:29 > 0:06:31# Believe me
0:06:31 > 0:06:36# Paradise is waiting down there for ya
0:06:36 > 0:06:40# I've got a peach of a pa A peach of a ma
0:06:40 > 0:06:43# Oh, what a peach of a couple they are
0:06:43 > 0:06:49# Cousins, why, I have dozens
0:06:49 > 0:06:52# And if you saw them
0:06:52 > 0:06:55# I know you'd adore them
0:06:55 > 0:07:00# I bet you'd pick yourself a peach of a wife
0:07:00 > 0:07:03# Settle down to a peach of a life
0:07:03 > 0:07:10# Everything is peaches down in Georgia
0:07:17 > 0:07:20# All of Georgia's full of peaches
0:07:20 > 0:07:24# They're all gorgeous Each one reaches
0:07:24 > 0:07:27# Right into your heart
0:07:27 > 0:07:30# And makes you part of Georgia too
0:07:30 > 0:07:33# Clingstone peaches cling right to ya
0:07:33 > 0:07:38# Peaches haunt your dream
0:07:38 > 0:07:43# Think of getting, always getting
0:07:43 > 0:07:51# Peaches in your cream
0:08:30 > 0:08:34# I bet you'd pick yourself a peach of a wife
0:08:34 > 0:08:37# Settle down to a peach of a life
0:08:37 > 0:08:44# Everything is peaches down in Georgia
0:09:20 > 0:09:25# I bet you'd pick yourself a peach of a wife
0:09:25 > 0:09:29# Settle down to a peach of a life
0:09:29 > 0:09:32# Everything is peaches
0:09:32 > 0:09:36# Down in Georgia
0:09:36 > 0:09:40# I said Georgia, I said Georgia
0:09:40 > 0:09:45# G-E-O-R-G-I-A. #
0:09:45 > 0:09:48APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:58 > 0:10:02And now, from North Carolina,
0:10:02 > 0:10:08effulgent in rosaceous efflorescence,
0:10:08 > 0:10:12Miss Patsy Gilland!
0:10:12 > 0:10:15APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:10:27 > 0:10:31# Close to the woods of Seville
0:10:31 > 0:10:35# Lived my good friend...
0:10:35 > 0:10:41INDISTINCT LYRICS
0:10:50 > 0:10:53# Yet think of the monotony One needs a bit of company
0:10:53 > 0:10:56# Yes, that's a real necessity
0:10:56 > 0:10:58# And take my lover there with me
0:10:58 > 0:11:01# My liberty
0:11:01 > 0:11:02# A complication
0:11:02 > 0:11:05# Last night - I better pack and go
0:11:05 > 0:11:08# Now my poor heart aches once again
0:11:08 > 0:11:13# My heart is free, free again
0:11:13 > 0:11:15# Yes, I could have my pick of them
0:11:15 > 0:11:18# But when I'm done I'm sick of them
0:11:18 > 0:11:23# And now I know the...
0:11:23 > 0:11:27# Who will love me
0:11:27 > 0:11:29# I will love him
0:11:29 > 0:11:32# He will have my heart
0:11:32 > 0:11:33# It's for the taking
0:11:33 > 0:11:37# You have a right to my time
0:11:37 > 0:11:39# Think of it as your time away, sir
0:11:39 > 0:11:42# For tonight with my liberty
0:11:42 > 0:11:46# Close to the woods of Seville
0:11:46 > 0:11:49# Lived my good friend...
0:11:49 > 0:11:53INDISTINCT LYRICS
0:11:55 > 0:11:59# Ah-la-la-la-la la la-la
0:11:59 > 0:12:03# Ah-la-la-la-la la la-la la-la! #
0:12:03 > 0:12:05APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Irving Berlin needs no introduction from me.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27His music seems to tell it all.
0:12:27 > 0:12:33In 1912, he fell madly in love with the daughter of another songwriter.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36They married, but after their honeymoon in Cuba,
0:12:36 > 0:12:39she fell ill and died.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44It was this despair that brought about this glorious song -
0:12:44 > 0:12:47When I Lost You.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57# The roses, each one
0:12:57 > 0:13:00# Met with the sun
0:13:00 > 0:13:05# Sweetheart, when I met you
0:13:05 > 0:13:09# The sunshine had fled
0:13:09 > 0:13:13# The roses were dead
0:13:13 > 0:13:21# Sweetheart, when I lost you
0:13:21 > 0:13:28# I lost the sunshine and roses
0:13:28 > 0:13:34# I lost the heavens of blue
0:13:34 > 0:13:40# I lost the beautiful rainbow
0:13:40 > 0:13:46# I lost the morning dew
0:13:46 > 0:13:53# I lost the angel who gave me
0:13:53 > 0:13:59# Summer the whole winter through
0:13:59 > 0:14:07# I lost the gladness that turned into sadness
0:14:07 > 0:14:15# When I lost you
0:14:17 > 0:14:20# The birds ceased their song
0:14:20 > 0:14:24# Right turned to wrong
0:14:24 > 0:14:29# Sweetheart, when I lost you
0:14:29 > 0:14:33# A day turned to years
0:14:33 > 0:14:36# The world seemed in tears
0:14:36 > 0:14:45# Sweetheart, when I lost you
0:14:45 > 0:14:51# I lost the sunshine and roses
0:14:51 > 0:14:58# I lost the heavens of blue
0:14:58 > 0:15:04# I lost the beautiful rainbow
0:15:04 > 0:15:11# I lost the morning dew
0:15:11 > 0:15:17# I lost the angel who gave me
0:15:17 > 0:15:23# Summer the whole winter through
0:15:23 > 0:15:33# I lost the gladness that turned into sadness
0:15:33 > 0:15:47# When I lost you. #
0:15:47 > 0:15:49APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Intercontinentally...
0:16:10 > 0:16:14idolised intrepitidy
0:16:14 > 0:16:18of equilibristic equipon!
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Acrobats...
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Les Renees!
0:21:19 > 0:21:25Hilariously harmonious multiplicity...
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Melodious vociferity...
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Virtuosity...
0:21:35 > 0:21:39The King's Singers!
0:21:50 > 0:21:56# They didn't have no aeroplanes Didn't have no steam line trains
0:21:56 > 0:21:59# But they had lonely country lanes When Pa was courting Ma
0:21:59 > 0:22:03# Didn't have no ritzy bars Fancy drinks or caviars
0:22:03 > 0:22:07# But they had the moon and stars When Pa was courting Ma
0:22:07 > 0:22:10# Didn't have no commentators Or a news broadcast
0:22:10 > 0:22:17# They'd listen on the party line And get the news darn near as fast
0:22:17 > 0:22:21# Didn't have no 'lectric light Just by lamp they spoon all night
0:22:21 > 0:22:23# But still, in all they did all right
0:22:23 > 0:22:26# When Pa was courting Ma
0:22:27 > 0:22:31# They had no opera at the Met
0:22:31 > 0:22:35# Hadn't heard of ballet yet
0:22:35 > 0:22:42# But oh, that barbershop quartet
0:22:42 > 0:22:51- # Sweet Adeline - Sweet Adeline
0:22:51 > 0:22:53# They did have fun They never missed
0:22:53 > 0:22:55# A single husking bee
0:22:55 > 0:22:57# And get back home They'd steal a kiss
0:22:57 > 0:23:02# And Pa'd say gosh and Ma'd say gee
0:23:02 > 0:23:05# Most important thing somehow You'll admit them, they'll allow
0:23:05 > 0:23:09# That love was love the same as now When Pa was courting Ma
0:23:09 > 0:23:13# By heck, how they could neck
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- # When Pa was courting Ma - Ma
0:23:18 > 0:23:25# My dear old mother. #
0:23:25 > 0:23:27APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:23:37 > 0:23:41# Tom Pearce, Tom Pearce Lend I the grey mare
0:23:41 > 0:23:44# Home along, down along Out along lea
0:23:44 > 0:23:48# For us wants for to go over to Widecombe Fair
0:23:48 > 0:23:49- # With Bill Brewer - Jan Stewer
0:23:49 > 0:23:52- # Peter Gurney- Peter Davy - Dan'l Whiddon- Harry Hawke
0:23:52 > 0:23:54# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:23:54 > 0:23:57# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:23:57 > 0:24:00# And when shall I see again the grey mare?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03# Home along, down along Out along lea
0:24:03 > 0:24:05# By Friday noon or Saturday soon
0:24:05 > 0:24:06- # With Bill Brewer - Jan Stewer
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- # Peter Gurney- Peter Davy - Dan'l Whiddon- Harry Hawke
0:24:09 > 0:24:11# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:24:11 > 0:24:14# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:24:14 > 0:24:17# Then Friday came and Saturday noon
0:24:17 > 0:24:20# Home along, down along Out along lea
0:24:20 > 0:24:23# But Tom's old mare had not trotted home
0:24:23 > 0:24:24- # With Bill Brewer - Jan Stewer
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- # Peter Gurney - Peter Davy
0:24:26 > 0:24:28- # Dan'l Whiddon - Harry Hawke
0:24:28 > 0:24:30# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:24:30 > 0:24:34# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:24:34 > 0:24:37# Then Tom Pearce he got up to the top of the hill
0:24:37 > 0:24:41# Home along, down along Out along lea
0:24:41 > 0:24:46# And he seed his old mare down a-making her will
0:24:46 > 0:24:47- # Bill Brewer- Jan Stewer
0:24:47 > 0:24:49- # Peter Gurney- Peter Davy - Dan'l Whiddon- Harry Hawke
0:24:49 > 0:24:50# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:24:50 > 0:24:53- # We're going to Widecombe - Widecombe- Widecombe- Widecombe...
0:24:53 > 0:24:57# So Tom Pearce's old mare Took sick and her died
0:24:57 > 0:25:00# Home along, down along Out along lea
0:25:00 > 0:25:05# And Tom he sat down on a stone and he cried
0:25:07 > 0:25:09- # With Bill Brewer- Jan Stewer
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- # Peter Gurney- Peter Davy
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- # Dan'l Whiddon- Harry Hawke
0:25:14 > 0:25:18- # Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all - Tom Cobley and all
0:25:18 > 0:25:24- # Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all - Tom Cobley and all
0:25:24 > 0:25:28# When the wind whistles cold on the moor of the night
0:25:28 > 0:25:31# Home along, down along Out along lea
0:25:31 > 0:25:36# Tom Pearce's old mare doth appear ghastly white
0:25:36 > 0:25:38# With Bill Brewer, Jan Stewer
0:25:38 > 0:25:39# Peter Gurney, Peter Davy
0:25:39 > 0:25:42# Dan'l Whiddon, Harry Hawke
0:25:43 > 0:25:47- # Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all - Uncle Tom Cobley
0:25:47 > 0:25:52# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:25:52 > 0:25:55# And all the long night be heard skirling and groans
0:25:55 > 0:26:01- # Home along - Down along, out along lea
0:26:01 > 0:26:07# From Tom Pearce's old mare and her rattling old bones
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- # With Bill Brewer- Jan Stewer
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- # Peter Gurney- Peter Davy - Dan'l Whiddon
0:26:12 > 0:26:14# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all
0:26:14 > 0:26:19# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and...
0:26:19 > 0:26:22# Harry Hawke
0:26:22 > 0:26:25# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and...
0:26:25 > 0:26:28# Harry Hawke
0:26:28 > 0:26:32# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and...
0:26:32 > 0:26:34# Harry Hawke
0:26:34 > 0:26:36# Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all That's all! #
0:26:36 > 0:26:38APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:26:59 > 0:27:06Loquacious lugubriousness in extremis!
0:27:06 > 0:27:11The one and only Mr Les Dawson.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Thank you for your approbation.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45You have excellent taste.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Firstly, I must apologise about my appearance.
0:27:49 > 0:27:53Owing to a slight financial hiatus,
0:27:53 > 0:27:56I could not afford a ticket to travel here tonight
0:27:56 > 0:27:57by steam locomotion.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- I had to walk it. ALL:- Awww.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05A journey, my friends, best described
0:28:05 > 0:28:08as a stroll round the very perimeter of Hades itself.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19Fingers of cold mountain mist
0:28:19 > 0:28:24curled in treachery around my stout gaiters...
0:28:25 > 0:28:29..as I toiled heavily across the bleak plateau
0:28:29 > 0:28:31of the mountain range.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35A sullen, biting wind blew the snow flurries
0:28:35 > 0:28:38into a maddened fandango of white-flaked fury.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51From behind...
0:28:51 > 0:28:58an outcrop of age-pitted stones loomed an ill-painted door.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Crying "Sanctuary!" through cracked lips,
0:29:00 > 0:29:04I lurched forward and banged painfully on the door.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07The door opened to reveal
0:29:07 > 0:29:10the most enchanting little girl that I've ever seen.
0:29:10 > 0:29:11- ALL:- Aww.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14"My child," I croaked...
0:29:17 > 0:29:20"..may I speak to your father?"
0:29:20 > 0:29:25The winsome gamine gazed at me and said,
0:29:25 > 0:29:28"Daddy isn't 'ere."
0:29:28 > 0:29:30"Then, child," I explained,
0:29:30 > 0:29:33"may I have words with your dear mother?"
0:29:34 > 0:29:38A troubled look came across her features. Her bottom lip trembled.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41A fleeting shadow of sadness crossed her features.
0:29:41 > 0:29:45She said, "Mummy isn't here either."
0:29:45 > 0:29:47- ALL:- Awww.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I too could not believe it.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52I railed inwardly at the perfidy of parents
0:29:52 > 0:29:55who could abandon such a delightful waif.
0:29:55 > 0:29:59Leave this child alone in such a small, cramped, gloomy house
0:29:59 > 0:30:03in the teeth of a ferocious storm, in this mist of desolation.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05JEERING
0:30:08 > 0:30:10I could contain myself no longer.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14Sinking to my knees, I grasped the child to my snow-powdered cape.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24I said, "Fear not, my child!
0:30:24 > 0:30:27"Elfin creature of pure delight."
0:30:29 > 0:30:32"Fear not, for you are no longer alone."
0:30:32 > 0:30:36And she grabbed her rag dolly very close to her little pinafore
0:30:36 > 0:30:39and she said, "It's not the house, it's the lavatory."
0:30:57 > 0:31:03For those of you who are unfamiliar with the works of this tragic actor,
0:31:03 > 0:31:06I should like to introduce myself - the name is Les Dawson.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09It's not my real name, it's a stage name.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12I was actually christened Friday Dawson.
0:31:12 > 0:31:15Because when Father saw me for the first time, he turned to Mother
0:31:15 > 0:31:17and said, "I think we'd better call it a day."
0:31:20 > 0:31:21APPLAUSE
0:31:29 > 0:31:32I've made such an impact on my parents' lives.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Before I was born, Father had a nasty habit
0:31:35 > 0:31:37of running off and leaving Mother for months on end.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40When I came on the scene they gazed at me in the crib,
0:31:40 > 0:31:42held hands, and ran off together.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55Such...
0:31:55 > 0:31:58Such was the pattern of my earlier years.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01I seldom speak of my childhood, unless someone's buying the drinks.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04It was not a happy time.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06SINGLE VIOLIN PLAYS
0:32:06 > 0:32:07- ALL:- Aww.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Is that a violin?
0:32:12 > 0:32:13No, it isn't!
0:32:13 > 0:32:16It's the frustrated wail of a doctored tom.
0:32:19 > 0:32:20Yes...
0:32:22 > 0:32:24You think you've known tragedy?!
0:32:25 > 0:32:28For a start, I wasn't expected.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Mother was firmly convinced she was going into hospital
0:32:31 > 0:32:32to have a boil lanced.
0:32:38 > 0:32:41Looking back in retrospective thought,
0:32:41 > 0:32:44I must have looked a mess, because the first job my father did
0:32:44 > 0:32:47when they brought me home was to put shutters on my pram.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58He made no secret of the fact he didn't like me.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01He used to play some rotten tricks on me.
0:33:01 > 0:33:02- ALL:- Aww. - Yes!
0:33:02 > 0:33:05Like telling me for years the gas meter was a piggy bank.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Mummy was short-sighted.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18And she would persist in putting talcum powder on my face.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Between you and I, I've often shuddered to think
0:33:22 > 0:33:24what she did with my dummy.
0:33:34 > 0:33:38It wasn't easy for my parents. We were a big family.
0:33:38 > 0:33:42Lot of children. In fact, there were so many wet nappies in the kitchen
0:33:42 > 0:33:44there was a rainbow in the lobby.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50But there is to posterity
0:33:50 > 0:33:53one thing left, which will never die.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56And that was the fact that Father was a wonderful mountaineer.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Famous for once having been trapped
0:33:58 > 0:34:0123,000 feet up the side of Mount Everest, on a two-inch ledge,
0:34:01 > 0:34:03carrying his lame mule to safety...
0:34:03 > 0:34:05LAUGHTER
0:34:09 > 0:34:11..on the back of a plasterer's hod.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16Face it, dear friends, you and I would have panicked!
0:34:20 > 0:34:22He didn't. He fell off.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27APPLAUSE
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Some people appreciate my work.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38This letter arrived in the dressing room not so long ago,
0:34:38 > 0:34:40tied with pink ribbon to a coping stone.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Heh-heh!
0:34:55 > 0:34:56Ho-ho-ho!
0:34:56 > 0:35:00Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02What piffle!
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Because you know why she couldn't find them?
0:35:05 > 0:35:07She was in the meadow with Simple Simon.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09And he wasn't so simple!
0:35:10 > 0:35:11He was having it off!
0:35:13 > 0:35:15What the world needs now is love, love, love.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20I must stop this.
0:35:21 > 0:35:25Every time I put these glasses on, a hideous doppelganger takes over.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27This is the letter.
0:35:27 > 0:35:31It's very emotive - it will move you to tears.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34It reads very simply, "Dear Mr Dawson."
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Look at the way she's spelled "dear" - D-E-A-R.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48"You have done more for me than any specialist could ever hope to do.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54"For years I have suffered from acute insomnia.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57"My nights abed were a restless misery.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02"Sleep, the soothing balm, eluded me.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06"I've had treatment all over the world - in Europe,
0:36:06 > 0:36:08"Zurich, Rhyl...
0:36:13 > 0:36:15"..to no avail.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21"But you, dear Mr Dawson, you have cured me.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29"I saw you on The Good Old Days and I couldn't keep my eyes open."
0:36:29 > 0:36:31Goodnight!
0:36:31 > 0:36:34APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:36:53 > 0:36:58Germany! Unparalleled apotheosis
0:36:58 > 0:37:05of plethoric, proliferative profusion.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07Lots and lots.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10Dinardi!
0:37:10 > 0:37:11APPLAUSE
0:37:18 > 0:37:20MUSIC PLAYS
0:38:44 > 0:38:47MUSIC: Tulips from Amsterdam
0:43:43 > 0:43:45APPLAUSE
0:43:46 > 0:43:49There's just time to ask Mr Les Dawson
0:43:49 > 0:43:52to lead the company and yourselves in the last chorus for tonight -
0:43:52 > 0:43:54Down At The Old Bull and Bush.
0:43:54 > 0:43:57Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Les Dawson and the entire company,
0:43:57 > 0:44:01Mr Bernard Herrmann and the entire and undaunted orchestra...
0:44:01 > 0:44:03CHEERING
0:44:03 > 0:44:08And this time, treat me yourself!
0:44:11 > 0:44:15# Come, come Come and make eyes at me
0:44:15 > 0:44:19# Down at the Old Bull and Bush Da-da-da-da-da
0:44:19 > 0:44:22# Come, come Drink some port wine with me
0:44:22 > 0:44:25# Down at the Old Bull and Bush
0:44:25 > 0:44:29# Hear the little German band Da-da-da-da-da-da
0:44:29 > 0:44:32# Just let me hold your hand, dear
0:44:32 > 0:44:36# Do, do Come and have a drink or two
0:44:36 > 0:44:41# Down at the Old Bull and Bush Bush Bush! #
0:44:41 > 0:44:45APPLAUSE AND CHEERING