0:00:04 > 0:00:07ORCHESTRA TUNES INSTRUMENTS
0:00:18 > 0:00:22# Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow Bow-wow
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow Bow-wow
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# I've got a little cat and I'm very fond of that
0:00:30 > 0:00:36# But I'd rather have a bow-wow-wow. #
0:00:38 > 0:00:42SINGERS ON STAGE WHOOP
0:00:44 > 0:00:47# We're the toast of merry Monaco
0:00:47 > 0:00:51# Known to all the visitors who go
0:00:51 > 0:00:54# To the old casino every night
0:00:54 > 0:00:58# We enjoy a Pinot, gay and bright
0:00:58 > 0:01:01# Gamblers from Chicago to Berlin
0:01:01 > 0:01:05# Chance their fortunes, hoping for a win
0:01:05 > 0:01:08# Hearts beat fast with every single bet
0:01:08 > 0:01:12# And share me your advice on what to bet
0:01:12 > 0:01:15# Jack, queen or king The cards are so inviting
0:01:15 > 0:01:19# Gambling's the thing We find it so exciting
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# Quaffing champagne We put on such a show
0:01:22 > 0:01:25# We'll break the bank or lose our francs before we go
0:01:25 > 0:01:29# We'll break the bank or lose our francs before we go. #
0:01:37 > 0:01:40# When a bad, bad boy like me
0:01:40 > 0:01:43# Meets a good, good girl like you
0:01:43 > 0:01:46# Well, a good little maid is a bit afraid
0:01:46 > 0:01:49# And wonders what on earth to do
0:01:49 > 0:01:53# If the bad, bad boy should speak
0:01:53 > 0:01:55# Will the good, good girl reply?
0:01:55 > 0:01:59# Well, it rather depends if the good girl's friends
0:01:59 > 0:02:02# Are anywhere at all close by
0:02:06 > 0:02:10# Such a bad, bad boy
0:02:10 > 0:02:12# Such a good, good girl
0:02:12 > 0:02:15# Oh, they do make a curious pair
0:02:15 > 0:02:18# Though the good girl may turn her head away
0:02:18 > 0:02:21# Still she knows that the bad boy's there
0:02:21 > 0:02:24# If the bad boy walks by her side and talks
0:02:24 > 0:02:27# Will she snub him as a maiden should?
0:02:27 > 0:02:31# Well, I think he's a lad who is not so very bad
0:02:31 > 0:02:35# And I'm not a bit too good
0:02:35 > 0:02:38# No, we're not a bit too good. #
0:02:38 > 0:02:43# As I walk along the Bois de Boulogne
0:02:43 > 0:02:45# With an independent air
0:02:45 > 0:02:47# You can hear the girls declare
0:02:47 > 0:02:49# He must be a millionaire
0:02:49 > 0:02:51# You can hear them sigh and wish to die
0:02:51 > 0:02:53# You can see them wink the other eye
0:02:53 > 0:02:57# At the man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo
0:02:57 > 0:02:59# As I walk along the Bois de Boulogne
0:02:59 > 0:03:01# With an independent air
0:03:01 > 0:03:03# You can hear the girls declare
0:03:03 > 0:03:04# He must be a millionaire
0:03:04 > 0:03:07# You can hear them sigh and wish to die
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# You can see them wink the other eye
0:03:09 > 0:03:12# At the man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo. #
0:03:16 > 0:03:19# Jack, queen or king The cards are so inviting
0:03:19 > 0:03:23# Gambling's a thing We find it so exciting
0:03:23 > 0:03:26# Quaffing champagne We'll put on such a show
0:03:26 > 0:03:30# We'll break the bank or lose our francs before we go
0:03:30 > 0:03:37# We'll break the bank or lose our francs before we go. #
0:03:38 > 0:03:41APPLAUSE
0:03:51 > 0:03:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- AUDIENCE:- Whoo!
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Once again,
0:04:06 > 0:04:11good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- AUDIENCE:- Good evening!
0:04:13 > 0:04:17From France, hilarious in vertiginous
0:04:17 > 0:04:22vocal virtuosity, Monsieur Marc Metral.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28APPLAUSE
0:04:32 > 0:04:33HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Gentlemen...
0:04:37 > 0:04:39GIGGLING ON STAGE
0:04:44 > 0:04:46INDISTINCT MUMBLING ON STAGE
0:04:47 > 0:04:49I'm sorry. Brigitte?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Yes.- Where are you? Where are you, please?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55BRIGITTE WARBLES
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Here?- Oi! - BRIGITTE LAUGHS
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- OK, come with me.- Ow!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06LAUGHTER
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- But what are you doing inside? MARC AS BRIGITTE:- I want to see.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- You want to see the concert?- Yes. - But I have to work.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- I don't care.- Oh, right, now. OK, come now.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Ladies and gentlemen,
0:05:16 > 0:05:18- I am very pleased to present the extraordinary...- Ha-ha.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23- ..wonderful, fantastic Miss Brigitte.- Oh, yeah.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- It's me.- Oh, you are really beautiful tonight.
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Ha-ha-ha. Uh?
0:05:29 > 0:05:31I said, "Vous etes tres jolie."
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Ha-ha-ha. Uh?
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- Oui. Du bist schon. - Danke schon.- Bitte schon.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- Danke schon.- Bitte schon. - Danke schon.- Bitte schon.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- Danke schon.- Bitte schon. - That's enough!
0:05:43 > 0:05:47- You must sing a song now. - No, no, no.- But why not?- My costume!
0:05:47 > 0:05:50- But you are beautiful. You can sing like that.- No, no, no, no.
0:05:50 > 0:05:56- Oh, I know, I know.- What?- You are a star, eh? Excuse me, Brigitte.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Oh, excuse me. I forgot. I am stupid.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Everybody knows that!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Right, now, just close your eyes.
0:06:04 > 0:06:09Yeah...
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Very nice. All right.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14All right now, hurry up, hurry up.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18# On dit que j'aime les aigrettes
0:06:18 > 0:06:20# Les plumes et les toilettes
0:06:20 > 0:06:21# C'est vrai
0:06:21 > 0:06:25# On dit que j'ai la voix qui traine
0:06:25 > 0:06:26# En chantant mes rengaines
0:06:26 > 0:06:28# C'est vrai
0:06:28 > 0:06:32# Lorsque ca monte trop haut Moi je m'arrete
0:06:32 > 0:06:35- # Et d'ailleurs on n'est pas - Ici a l'Opera
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- # On dit - Que j'ai l'nez en trompette
0:06:38 > 0:06:42# Mais j'serais pas Mistinguett si j'etais pas comme ca. #
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Yeah!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Do you want to know now how to be a ventriloquist, yes?
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- AUDIENCE:- Yes. - OK, wonderful, marvellous.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03I'm going to choose now somebody to help me on the stage.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05I need a gentleman to help me on the stage.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Maybe, sir, will you come to help me?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Oh, thank you. A big hand, a big hand.
0:07:10 > 0:07:13APPLAUSE
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Thank you. Come by this way.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Thank you, can you wait for me on the stage? Thank you.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Thank you very much, sir, good evening. But I need a lady too.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Here we have a beautiful lady. Will you come to help me, please? Oui?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Ah!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29Tres bien.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Give me your hand.
0:07:35 > 0:07:37Thank you very much. Come onto the stage, please.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42You are going to help me. Sir, you come here, all right?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45On my right, thank you. You come here, on my left.
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Thank you very much.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50It's very easy, don't worry. Keep smiling. Thank you very much.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53One of the things I have to ask you, ladies and gentlemen.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57You have to open and close your mouth without speaking, only that.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00It's possible? Yes? OK. Look at me, look at me.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05It's possible we try? Oh, very good, very good.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Give me your hand. It will be easier.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10When I squeeze one time your hand, you open one time your mouth.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12We try.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15OK. If I squeeze twice, you open twice.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18You understand? Very good, very good!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Sir, the same thing. One time.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24OK, more big. Oh, very good. Two times.
0:08:25 > 0:08:26OK, and so on.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Look at the audience, please. Thank you very much.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- So, sir, are you ready? AS GENTLEMAN:- Yeah!
0:08:32 > 0:08:34- That's very good, eh?- Yeah!
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Oh, you are a ventriloquist?- Yes! - Good, good.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Ladies and gentlemen, we have, tonight here, a beautiful lady.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43- AS LADY:- Yeah! - LAUGHTER
0:08:44 > 0:08:49- Ca va?- Ah, oui.- You have a beautiful voice, eh?- Oui!- Very nice, OK.
0:08:49 > 0:08:55- You are a good artist too.- Yes. - Yes, you are not too shy, yeah?- No!
0:08:55 > 0:08:57No, no. LAUGHTER
0:08:57 > 0:08:59OK, we'll sing a song now.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Please, maestro, we are going to sing a song now. Alegria, vamos.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07# Alouette, gentille alouette
0:09:07 > 0:09:10# Alouette, je te plumerai
0:09:10 > 0:09:12# Je te plumerai la tete
0:09:12 > 0:09:13# Je te plumerai la tete
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- # Et la tete - Et la tete
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- # Et la tete - Et la tete... #
0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Very good.- # Et la tete - Et la tete
0:09:19 > 0:09:20- # Et la tete - Et la tete
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- # Et la tete - Et la tete
0:09:22 > 0:09:24# Alouette, alouette... #
0:09:24 > 0:09:26- All right now. # Alouette - Alouette
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- # Alouette- Alouette - Alouette- Alouette
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- # Alouette- Alouette - Alouette...
0:09:31 > 0:09:33# Alouette! #
0:09:33 > 0:09:36APPLAUSE
0:09:49 > 0:09:54Ineluctably melodious,
0:09:54 > 0:09:59deliquescent in dithyrambic descant.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- AUDIENCE:- Oh!
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- S... - LAUGHTER
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Singing.
0:10:06 > 0:10:11Your own, your very own, Miss Moira Anderson!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13APPLAUSE
0:10:18 > 0:10:22SHE SINGS FOR TONIGHT FROM TOM JONES BY EDWARD GERMAN
0:10:44 > 0:10:48SHE SINGS FOR TONIGHT FROM TOM JONES BY EDWARD GERMAN
0:10:58 > 0:11:02SHE SINGS FOR TONIGHT FROM TOM JONES BY EDWARD GERMAN
0:11:25 > 0:11:30SHE SINGS FOR TONIGHT FROM TOM JONES BY EDWARD GERMAN
0:11:43 > 0:11:47SHE SINGS FOR TONIGHT FROM TOM JONES BY EDWARD GERMAN
0:12:01 > 0:12:05APPLAUSE
0:12:23 > 0:12:30# One day when we were young
0:12:30 > 0:12:35# One wonderful morning in May
0:12:35 > 0:12:43# You told me you loved me
0:12:43 > 0:12:50# When we were young one day
0:12:50 > 0:12:56# Sweet songs of spring were sung
0:12:56 > 0:13:02# And music was never so gay
0:13:02 > 0:13:09# You told me you loved me
0:13:09 > 0:13:14# When we were young one day
0:13:15 > 0:13:21# You told me you loved me
0:13:21 > 0:13:27# You held me close to your heart
0:13:27 > 0:13:33# We laughed then, we cried then
0:13:33 > 0:13:40# Then came the time to part
0:13:41 > 0:13:47# When songs of spring were sung
0:13:47 > 0:13:54# Remember that morning in May
0:13:54 > 0:14:01# Remember you loved me
0:14:01 > 0:14:10# When we were young one day
0:14:18 > 0:14:25# Remember you loved me
0:14:25 > 0:14:31# When we were young one day
0:14:31 > 0:14:36# You told me you loved me
0:14:36 > 0:14:43# You held me close to your heart
0:14:43 > 0:14:49# We laughed then, we cried then
0:14:49 > 0:14:56# Then came the time to part
0:14:57 > 0:15:03# When songs of spring were sung
0:15:03 > 0:15:10# Remember that morning in May
0:15:10 > 0:15:19# Remember you loved me
0:15:19 > 0:15:25# When we were young
0:15:25 > 0:15:32# One day. #
0:15:32 > 0:15:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Unequivocally uplifting
0:15:55 > 0:15:59in dignified imperial dedication,
0:15:59 > 0:16:03the high priestess of culture,
0:16:03 > 0:16:07Miss Audrey Jeans.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10ORCHESTRA PLAYS LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY
0:16:10 > 0:16:13APPLAUSE
0:16:16 > 0:16:21Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, I have written a monologue
0:16:21 > 0:16:24and dedicated it to our dear Queen Victoria.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26SHE COUGHS Thank you.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Victoria...
0:16:28 > 0:16:31COMMOTION IN THE AUDIENCE AND LAUGHTER
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Welcome and may we wish you...
0:16:34 > 0:16:37827. What number seat are you?
0:16:37 > 0:16:41- LAUGHTER - Can you stand up a minute? 827.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44I'm trying to find 827. Well, I don't know where it is.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46- Excuse me!- Pardon?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48I said excuse me.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Why, what have you done?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53LAUGHTER
0:16:53 > 0:16:56How do you do? Can I just get past here? Sorry.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Excuse me!- Yes.- Have you a seat?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Aye, but nowhere to put it.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04LAUGHTER Who is this man?
0:17:07 > 0:17:11- How do you do?- Excuse me, I can't talk to you from there.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13- Would you come up here? - What, on the planks?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- On the platform.- Oh, yes... Get off.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19LAUGHTER
0:17:19 > 0:17:20Steady.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28LAUGHTER
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Yes, leave it.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Yes, yes... How... Hey...
0:17:43 > 0:17:46Do you know you've ruined my performance?
0:17:46 > 0:17:47I never touched you.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51I am trying to do a dramatic monologue.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55I...I...I was... Huh. Wey!
0:17:55 > 0:17:56I was just trying to...
0:17:58 > 0:18:02I was just trying to find my seat, you see, and then you said...
0:18:02 > 0:18:04You have no seat here, you know.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Neither have I, that's what I'm telling you.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10I am doing a monologue to Her Majesty Queen Victoria.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Oh, I didn't see her in. - She isn't here, dear.- Oh, I'm sorry.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17No, no. This is a very dramatic thing. Would you please go away?
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Yes. No. Well, I can't now I'm here, can I? I mean, maybe... I...
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- Huh. I...I...can... - HE SNEEZES
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- Sir, as you are here...- Yes.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33- Have you ever performed on a stage before?- Ha-ha.
0:18:33 > 0:18:38- Um, I do do a bit of singing at clubs.- Oh, you sing.- So do I, yes.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40- Have you a group? - No, I get the wind a lot.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42LAUGHTER
0:18:46 > 0:18:50- Yes, such a shame, you know, before the show.- Excuse me.- Yes.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- Do you do anything else but sing? - Ah, yes.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57- Funnily enough, I do monologues. - Monologues?- Yes, sir, yes.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- No, I'm madam. - Oh, yes, I tumbled that, mmm.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Would you perform one for us this evening?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- Well, in front of these people? - Yes, of course.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10Well, I'd love to, if I could. Oh... I'd like to...
0:19:10 > 0:19:13- Why do you keep doing that? - Doing what?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Oh... I... Wa-hey! LAUGHTER
0:19:16 > 0:19:21- Hey, there's something up with you. - How dare you!- You...
0:19:21 > 0:19:24APPLAUSE
0:19:24 > 0:19:26- Yeah.- Would you like to do the monologue now?
0:19:26 > 0:19:30- Well, if it's all right, yeah. - Please do.- Well, I'll put that down.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Cos I work hard, you see. - Do you really?- Yes...
0:19:32 > 0:19:34The Green Eye Of The Little Yellow God.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37HE MUTTERS THE MONOLOGUE
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- Can you hear it? AUDIENCE:- No.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Excuse me, nobody can hear you?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- Can't they?- No, of course they can't.- Oh, I didn't know that.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50No, you are not... Where is your articulation?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53LAUGHTER
0:19:53 > 0:19:56I think she knows down there. Hey-hey, hey-hey.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01No, when you do monologues, you must absolutely sell it. Sell it!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- Sell it.- Yes.- The Green Eye Of The Little Yellow God. 30 bob.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06LAUGHTER
0:20:06 > 0:20:11- Not that sort of selling.- Sorry. - Now, I want you...- Yes.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- ..to use your hands. - I don't understand. Can you show me?
0:20:13 > 0:20:17- Watch my hands, watch them closely. - Right.- Watch them.- Yes.- Watch them.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19HE LAUGHS
0:20:24 > 0:20:27There's no lens in those glasses!
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I know. They hurt my eyes, so I took them out.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32LAUGHTER
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- Get off.- Are you ready?- So am I.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the north of Kathmandu.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47There's a little marble cross beneath the town.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Did you see it?- No, did it come on?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52See, I can't do all them hand movements like that.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56- I can do the monologue but... - Just a moment.- What?- Look.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59These are your hands.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02They're a damn sight cleaner than mine!
0:21:02 > 0:21:05- Come here. Stand there.- Yes. - I'll show you what I mean.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- Oh, you'll do the actions for me and they'll think it's me.- Correct.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Oh, right, yes. Thank you. Recitation.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Hey. Hey...
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I see. The green eye of...
0:21:23 > 0:21:25The green eye of...
0:21:26 > 0:21:29The green eye of the... Hey!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31LAUGHTER
0:21:37 > 0:21:39The green eye of... Oh!
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- HE LAUGHS - No, don't. I'm ticklish.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Seriously now.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the north of...
0:21:47 > 0:21:50LAUGHTER
0:21:51 > 0:21:56..to the north of Kathmandu. There's a little marble cross below the...
0:22:02 > 0:22:04..below the town.
0:22:04 > 0:22:10There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Car... Ooh!
0:22:10 > 0:22:14..while the yellow god forever gazes down. Down!
0:22:15 > 0:22:20He was known as Mad Car... Ooh! ..by the subs at Kathmandu.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24He was hotter than they felt inclined to tell. But...
0:22:27 > 0:22:29..for all his foolish pranks, he...
0:22:33 > 0:22:35..he... Shut up!
0:22:35 > 0:22:37..he was worshipped in the ranks
0:22:37 > 0:22:40and the colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43INDISTINCT
0:22:43 > 0:22:47He had loved her all along with a passion that was strong...
0:22:49 > 0:22:52That she loved him was plain to see for all.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55She was nearly 21 and arrangements had begun
0:22:55 > 0:22:57to celebrate her birthday with a ball.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00LAUGHTER
0:23:00 > 0:23:03On the... On the...
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Could we have our ball back, please?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Butterfingers.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11On the night before the dance, Mad Carew stood in a trance,
0:23:11 > 0:23:13and the...
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Seems like a nice boy.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21And they chaffed him as they puffed at their cigars.
0:23:21 > 0:23:26But for once he failed to smile, as he sat - ooh! - alone awhile,
0:23:26 > 0:23:29then went out into the night among the stars.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33He returned at break of dawn with his coat and tunic torn and...
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Wait... Get...
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Eh...
0:23:43 > 0:23:44LAUGHTER
0:23:46 > 0:23:48What are you playing at?
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Hey, that's my best shirt!
0:23:52 > 0:23:56Oh, oh, look. You've torn a button off.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58LAUGHTER
0:23:58 > 0:24:02No, I don't reckon that. No, that's vandalism, that is.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I don't reckon that at all. No, no, I...
0:24:05 > 0:24:08LAUGHTER
0:24:12 > 0:24:15- With a gash... - LAUGHTER
0:24:16 > 0:24:18I thought she was going to let them go for a minute.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Ow! Ha!
0:24:21 > 0:24:25With a gash above his temple dripping red.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27In...
0:24:27 > 0:24:29LAUGHTER
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Hey-hey.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Do you know, without my glasses, I'd swear that was a chookie egg.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- It IS a chookie egg. - Get off! Really?- Yes.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- What the hell am- I- laughing at?
0:24:41 > 0:24:47With a gash above his temple dripping red... Oh, please don't.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Oh. In the... Argh!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Argh! That's it! I'm not having that! No!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59APPLAUSE
0:25:11 > 0:25:15That, of course, was Mr Jack Douglas.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20Esoteric oriental occultism,
0:25:20 > 0:25:25non-parial necromancy...
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Black magic.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32The amazing Omar Pasha!
0:25:32 > 0:25:35APPLAUSE
0:26:04 > 0:26:06APPLAUSE
0:27:34 > 0:27:37APPLAUSE
0:28:06 > 0:28:08LAUGHTER
0:28:12 > 0:28:14- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:28:14 > 0:28:17APPLAUSE
0:28:34 > 0:28:37APPLAUSE
0:29:14 > 0:29:17APPLAUSE
0:30:04 > 0:30:07APPLAUSE
0:30:37 > 0:30:40APPLAUSE
0:31:18 > 0:31:23Magisterial masculinity...
0:31:24 > 0:31:26..miraculously mellifluous,
0:31:26 > 0:31:31from America, Mr Robert White!
0:31:31 > 0:31:33APPLAUSE
0:31:39 > 0:31:43# Near to Banbridge town in the County Down
0:31:43 > 0:31:45# One morning in July
0:31:45 > 0:31:49# Down a boreen green came a sweet colleen
0:31:49 > 0:31:51# And she smiled as she passed me by
0:31:51 > 0:31:55# Oh, she looked so sweet from her snow-white feet
0:31:55 > 0:31:58# To the sheen of her nut-brown hair
0:31:58 > 0:32:01# Such a coaxing elf I had to shake myself
0:32:01 > 0:32:04# To make sure I was really there
0:32:04 > 0:32:07# Oh, from Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay
0:32:07 > 0:32:10# And from Galway to Dublin town
0:32:10 > 0:32:13# No maid I've seen like the brown colleen
0:32:13 > 0:32:18# That I met in the County Down
0:32:23 > 0:32:26# As she onward sped sure I scratched my head
0:32:26 > 0:32:29# And I gazed with a feeling rare
0:32:29 > 0:32:32# And I said, says I, to a passer-by
0:32:32 > 0:32:35# "Who's the maid with the nut-brown hair?"
0:32:35 > 0:32:38# Oh, he smiled at me and, with pride, says he
0:32:38 > 0:32:41# "That's the gem of Ireland's crown
0:32:41 > 0:32:45# "Young Rosie McCann from the banks of the Bann
0:32:45 > 0:32:48# "She's the star of the County Down"
0:32:53 > 0:32:57# At the harvest fair, she'll be surely there
0:32:57 > 0:32:59# So I'll dress in my Sunday clothes
0:32:59 > 0:33:02# And I'll try sheep's eyes and deludering lies
0:33:02 > 0:33:05# On the heart of the nut-brown Rose
0:33:05 > 0:33:09# No pipe I'll smoke and no horse I'll yoke
0:33:09 > 0:33:11# Though my plough turn a rust-coloured brown
0:33:11 > 0:33:15# Till a smiling bride at my own fireside
0:33:15 > 0:33:19# Sits the star of the County Down
0:33:19 > 0:33:22# From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay
0:33:22 > 0:33:25# And from Galway to Dublin town
0:33:25 > 0:33:30# No maid I've seen like the brown colleen
0:33:30 > 0:33:34# That I met in the County Down. #
0:33:46 > 0:33:51# When I was a little lad
0:33:51 > 0:33:54# With folly on my lips
0:33:54 > 0:33:58# Fain was I for journeying
0:33:58 > 0:34:02# All the seas in ships
0:34:02 > 0:34:06# But now across the southern swell
0:34:06 > 0:34:10# Every dawn I hear
0:34:10 > 0:34:14# The little streams of Duna
0:34:14 > 0:34:22# Running clear
0:34:22 > 0:34:26# The little streams of Duna
0:34:26 > 0:34:32# Running clear
0:34:38 > 0:34:41# When I was a young man
0:34:41 > 0:34:44# Before my beard was grey
0:34:44 > 0:34:48# All to ships and sailoring
0:34:48 > 0:34:52# I gave my heart away
0:34:52 > 0:34:56# But I'm weary of the sea wind
0:34:56 > 0:35:01# I'm weary of the foam
0:35:01 > 0:35:05# And the little stars of Duna
0:35:05 > 0:35:14# Call me home
0:35:14 > 0:35:17# The little stars of Duna
0:35:17 > 0:35:25# Call me home
0:35:25 > 0:35:30# The little stars of Duna
0:35:30 > 0:35:45# Call me home. #
0:35:50 > 0:35:53APPLAUSE
0:36:07 > 0:36:15# I hear you calling me
0:36:19 > 0:36:22# You called me
0:36:22 > 0:36:27# When the moon had veiled her light
0:36:27 > 0:36:31# Before I went from you
0:36:31 > 0:36:35# Into the night
0:36:35 > 0:36:38# I came
0:36:38 > 0:36:42# Do you remember
0:36:42 > 0:36:47# Back to you
0:36:47 > 0:36:52# For one last kiss
0:36:52 > 0:37:02# Beneath the kind stars' light
0:37:07 > 0:37:15# I hear you calling me
0:37:15 > 0:37:20# And, oh, the ringing gladness
0:37:20 > 0:37:23# Of your voice
0:37:23 > 0:37:26# The words that made
0:37:26 > 0:37:30# My longing heart rejoice
0:37:30 > 0:37:34# You spoke
0:37:34 > 0:37:37# Do you remember
0:37:37 > 0:37:42# And my heart
0:37:42 > 0:37:49# Still hears the distant music
0:37:49 > 0:37:58# Of your voice
0:38:02 > 0:38:11# I hear you calling me
0:38:11 > 0:38:17# Though years have stretched
0:38:17 > 0:38:22# Their weary length between
0:38:22 > 0:38:28# And on your grave
0:38:28 > 0:38:33# The mossy grass is green
0:38:33 > 0:38:36# I stand
0:38:36 > 0:38:40# Do you behold me
0:38:40 > 0:38:45# Listening here?
0:38:47 > 0:38:50# Hearing your voice
0:38:50 > 0:38:55# Through all the years between
0:39:04 > 0:39:08# I hear you
0:39:08 > 0:39:25# Calling me. #
0:39:31 > 0:39:34APPLAUSE
0:39:48 > 0:39:54Transcendent in tribute to Miss Vesta Tilley,
0:39:54 > 0:39:56once again, the Players Theatre
0:39:56 > 0:40:00plus Miss Jenny Till!
0:40:00 > 0:40:03APPLAUSE
0:40:07 > 0:40:10# Jolly good luck to the girl who loves a soldier
0:40:10 > 0:40:14# Girls, have you been there?
0:40:14 > 0:40:17# You know we military men
0:40:17 > 0:40:21# Always do our duty everywhere
0:40:21 > 0:40:24# Jolly good luck to the girl who loves a soldier
0:40:24 > 0:40:28# Real good boys are we
0:40:28 > 0:40:31# Girls, if you'd like to love a soldier
0:40:31 > 0:40:34# You can all love me. #
0:40:34 > 0:40:38Find the military man who's really worthy of the name
0:40:38 > 0:40:41He's never behind hand when duty's to be done
0:40:41 > 0:40:45He's the fellow that you can trust to try and win the game
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Whatever the prize waiting to be won
0:40:47 > 0:40:51By jingo, don't the girls know that as well as I do?
0:40:51 > 0:40:55Isn't the fact made plain every day?
0:40:55 > 0:40:58When you see them strolling by a soldier's side
0:40:58 > 0:41:02Who could ever be more proud than they?
0:41:02 > 0:41:06# Jolly good luck to the girl who loves a soldier
0:41:06 > 0:41:09# Girls, have you been there?
0:41:09 > 0:41:13# You know we military men
0:41:13 > 0:41:16# Always do our duty everywhere
0:41:16 > 0:41:20# Jolly good luck to the girl who loves a soldier
0:41:20 > 0:41:23# Real good boys are we
0:41:23 > 0:41:27# Girls, if you'd like to love a soldier
0:41:27 > 0:41:30# You can all love me. #
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Every Christmas time we went
0:41:37 > 0:41:40To Uncle Ned's, on pleasure bent
0:41:40 > 0:41:43As sure as e'er the time came round
0:41:43 > 0:41:46A jolly party could be found
0:41:46 > 0:41:49Eating cakes, drinking wine
0:41:49 > 0:41:52All the ladies looked divine
0:41:52 > 0:41:54All the tables cleared away
0:41:54 > 0:41:59And then the band began to play
0:41:59 > 0:42:02And some danced the lancers
0:42:02 > 0:42:05Some the gay quadrille
0:42:05 > 0:42:06Others danced the polka
0:42:06 > 0:42:09And danced it with a will
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Uncle Ned was nearly dead
0:42:11 > 0:42:13And Aunty lost her wig
0:42:13 > 0:42:15They got into a corner
0:42:15 > 0:42:18And they danced the Irish jig.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20# Some danced the lancers
0:42:20 > 0:42:22# And some the gay quadrille
0:42:22 > 0:42:24# Others danced the polka
0:42:24 > 0:42:26# And danced it with a will
0:42:26 > 0:42:28# Uncle Ned was nearly dead
0:42:28 > 0:42:30# And Aunty lost her wig
0:42:30 > 0:42:31# They got into a corner
0:42:31 > 0:42:33# And they danced the Irish jig
0:42:33 > 0:42:35# They got into a corner
0:42:35 > 0:42:39# And they danced the Irish jig. #
0:42:42 > 0:42:46# Sweetheart May
0:42:46 > 0:42:51# When you grow up one day
0:42:51 > 0:42:55# You may marry another
0:42:55 > 0:42:59# And my heart betray
0:42:59 > 0:43:03# But I'll wait for you
0:43:03 > 0:43:08# And then we shall see
0:43:08 > 0:43:16# What you will do when I ask you to marry me. #
0:43:18 > 0:43:20But I'll wait for you
0:43:21 > 0:43:24And then, then we shall see.
0:43:25 > 0:43:34# What you will do when I ask you to marry me. #
0:43:38 > 0:43:41He's very well-known is Algy
0:43:41 > 0:43:44To the ladies on the stage
0:43:44 > 0:43:47Such a jolly fine chap is Algy
0:43:47 > 0:43:50Just now he's all the rage
0:43:50 > 0:43:53And a jolly big favourite, Algy
0:43:53 > 0:43:56With the barmaids at the Cri
0:43:56 > 0:43:59He's very well-known is Algy
0:43:59 > 0:44:03As the Piccadilly Johnny with the little glass eye.
0:44:04 > 0:44:09# I'm following in Father's footsteps
0:44:09 > 0:44:12# Following the dear old dad
0:44:12 > 0:44:15# He's travelling now for his firm, you see
0:44:15 > 0:44:17# In fancy goods, it seems to me
0:44:17 > 0:44:20# I don't know where he's going
0:44:20 > 0:44:23# But when he gets there I'll be glad
0:44:23 > 0:44:26# I'm following in Father's footsteps
0:44:26 > 0:44:30# Yes, I'm following the dear old dad. #
0:44:30 > 0:44:34For I know the Prince of Monaco
0:44:34 > 0:44:37He's a bosom friend of mine
0:44:38 > 0:44:41I've had cigars and ginger ales
0:44:41 > 0:44:45With the Duke of Baden-Baden and the Prince of Wales
0:44:45 > 0:44:48I know the Emperor of Japan
0:44:48 > 0:44:51I've met the King of Spain, I do declare
0:44:51 > 0:44:55In fact, I know every public house
0:44:55 > 0:44:58From Marble Arch to Leicester Square.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02# I know the Prince of Monaco
0:45:02 > 0:45:06# He's a bosom friend of mine
0:45:06 > 0:45:09# I've had cigars and ginger ales
0:45:09 > 0:45:13# With the Duke of Baden-Baden and the Prince of Wales
0:45:13 > 0:45:16# I know the Emperor of Japan
0:45:16 > 0:45:20# I've met the King of Spain, I do declare
0:45:20 > 0:45:23# In fact, I know every public house
0:45:23 > 0:45:26# From Marble Arch to Leicester Square
0:45:26 > 0:45:32# From Marble Arch to Leicester Square. #
0:45:32 > 0:45:34APPLAUSE
0:45:47 > 0:45:50After the ball is over
0:45:52 > 0:45:54After the break of dawn
0:45:57 > 0:45:59After the dancer's leaving
0:46:02 > 0:46:04After the stars are gone
0:46:06 > 0:46:09Many a heart is aching
0:46:10 > 0:46:13If you could read them all
0:46:14 > 0:46:18Many the hopes that have vanished
0:46:20 > 0:46:23After the ball.
0:46:24 > 0:46:28# After the ball is over
0:46:28 > 0:46:33# After the break of dawn
0:46:33 > 0:46:37# After the dancer's leaving
0:46:37 > 0:46:42# After the stars are gone
0:46:42 > 0:46:46# Many a heart is aching
0:46:46 > 0:46:51# If you could read them all
0:46:51 > 0:46:56# Many the hopes that have vanished
0:46:56 > 0:47:05# After the ball. #
0:47:05 > 0:47:08APPLAUSE
0:47:22 > 0:47:26And now, there's just time to ask Miss Moira Anderson
0:47:26 > 0:47:30to lead the company and yourselves in the last chorus for tonight,
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Down At The Old Bull And Bush.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Moira Anderson, the entire company,
0:47:35 > 0:47:40Mr Bernard Herrmann, the entire and indefatigable orchestra.
0:47:40 > 0:47:44APPLAUSE
0:47:44 > 0:47:49But this time, chiefly yourselves.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56# Come, come, come and make eyes at me
0:47:56 > 0:48:00# Down at the Old Bull And Bush La-la-la-la-la
0:48:00 > 0:48:04# Come, come, drink some port wine with me
0:48:04 > 0:48:06# Down at the Old Bull And Bush
0:48:08 > 0:48:11# Hear the little German band Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
0:48:11 > 0:48:15# Just let me hold your hand, dear
0:48:15 > 0:48:19# Come, come, come and have a drink or two
0:48:19 > 0:48:24# Down at the Old Bull And Bush Bush, Bush. #