0:00:06 > 0:00:08# Where did you get that hat?
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Where did you get that tile?
0:00:10 > 0:00:12# Isn't it a nobby one
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# And just the proper style?
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# I should like to have one
0:00:16 > 0:00:18# Just the same as that
0:00:18 > 0:00:21# Wherever I go they'd shout, "Hello"
0:00:21 > 0:00:22# "Where did you get that hat? #
0:00:38 > 0:00:42# Goodbye, summer, so long, fall
0:00:42 > 0:00:45# Hello, wintertime
0:00:45 > 0:00:49# Let's take a moonlight sleigh ride after all
0:00:49 > 0:00:52# Hear those sleigh bells jingle and chime
0:00:52 > 0:00:55# Every Joe and Josie is rather cosy
0:00:55 > 0:00:59# Their hearts and lips beating bright
0:00:59 > 0:01:02# And so it's goodbye, summer, so long, fall
0:01:02 > 0:01:06# Hello, wintertime. #
0:01:06 > 0:01:13# Winter, winter, when the snow is softly falling
0:01:13 > 0:01:17# That's the time to sneeze, when it starts to freeze
0:01:17 > 0:01:20# In October and November and December just remember
0:01:20 > 0:01:27# Winter, winter, when your sweetheart comes a-calling
0:01:27 > 0:01:31# By the fireside so bright you'll sit and tease her
0:01:31 > 0:01:35# That's the time to squeeze her, when it's winter. #
0:01:37 > 0:01:44# So give me a little cosy corner and an armchair for two
0:01:46 > 0:01:49# Somewhere with somebody there
0:01:49 > 0:01:53# Anywhere will do
0:01:53 > 0:02:01# Give me an evening in the twilight with the pale moon above
0:02:01 > 0:02:05# And I'll find a cosy little corner
0:02:05 > 0:02:09# In the heart of the one I love
0:02:09 > 0:02:16# So give me a little cosy corner and an armchair for two
0:02:16 > 0:02:20# Somewhere with somebody there
0:02:20 > 0:02:24# Anywhere will do
0:02:24 > 0:02:31# Give me an evening in the twilight with the pale moon above
0:02:31 > 0:02:35# And I'll find a cosy little corner
0:02:35 > 0:02:39# In the heart of the one I love. #
0:02:41 > 0:02:43# Oh, I must go home tonight
0:02:43 > 0:02:45# I must go home tonight
0:02:45 > 0:02:47# I don't care if it's snowing, blowing
0:02:47 > 0:02:49# I'm going
0:02:49 > 0:02:52# I only got married this morning It fills me with delight
0:02:52 > 0:02:54# I'll stay out as long as you like next week
0:02:54 > 0:02:56# But I must go home tonight
0:02:56 > 0:02:59# I must go home tonight I must go home tonight
0:02:59 > 0:03:01# I don't care if it's snowing, blowing
0:03:01 > 0:03:03# I'm going
0:03:03 > 0:03:07# I only got married this morning It fills me with delight
0:03:07 > 0:03:09# I'll stay out as long as you like next week
0:03:09 > 0:03:10# But I must go home tonight
0:03:10 > 0:03:14# Yes, I must go home tonight. #
0:03:18 > 0:03:21APPLAUSE
0:03:29 > 0:03:32FANFARE
0:03:32 > 0:03:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:43 > 0:03:48Once again, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- ALL:- Good evening.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Prognosticaterally!
0:03:59 > 0:04:04Initially transcendental terpsichorean...
0:04:06 > 0:04:09..simultaneity.
0:04:09 > 0:04:14With Mr Bill Drysdale and Miss Christine Cartwright.
0:04:24 > 0:04:29MUSIC PLAYS
0:07:47 > 0:07:52CHEERING
0:07:55 > 0:08:05Inenarrably ineluctable, nonpareil nenuphar of nubility.
0:08:07 > 0:08:13That is marriage-ability. Your own ever adorable Miss Eira Heath.
0:08:25 > 0:08:30# I walked one day along Broadway when I was in New York
0:08:30 > 0:08:35# A friend of mine said, "My, you're fine, you've got to get work
0:08:37 > 0:08:39# "You have the pose and Gibson nose
0:08:39 > 0:08:43# "And quite the Gibson leer
0:08:43 > 0:08:45# "You've surely heard of the Gibson style
0:08:45 > 0:08:48# "It's been all the rage for quite a while"
0:08:48 > 0:08:55# What he meant was not quite clear until I landed over here
0:08:59 > 0:09:05# But why do they call me a Gibson girl, Gibson girl, Gibson girl?
0:09:05 > 0:09:10# Have I a look that is rather haughty, slightly sporty
0:09:10 > 0:09:14# Never too naughty?
0:09:14 > 0:09:19# Wear a blank expression and a monumental curl
0:09:20 > 0:09:26# And walk with a bend in your back and they call you a Gibson girl
0:09:29 > 0:09:35# Just walk round town, look up and down, the girls affect a style
0:09:35 > 0:09:42# As they pass by with downcast eye with a tired and languid smile
0:09:42 > 0:09:47# In dreams they saw, it's such a bore to sip a cup of tea
0:09:48 > 0:09:50# They do their best for they're trying to be
0:09:50 > 0:09:54# The perfect Gibson type, you see
0:09:54 > 0:10:02# But how surprising to be told that I quite fit the Gibson mould
0:10:06 > 0:10:13# But why do they call me a Gibson girl, Gibson girl, Gibson girl?
0:10:13 > 0:10:18# Have I a look that is rather haughty, slightly sporty
0:10:18 > 0:10:20# Never too naughty?
0:10:20 > 0:10:27# Wear a blank expression and a monumental curl
0:10:27 > 0:10:33# And walk with a bend in your back and they call you a Gibson girl
0:10:33 > 0:10:40# But why do they call me a Gibson girl, Gibson girl, Gibson girl?
0:10:40 > 0:10:45# The fellows I meet say I'm quite disarming, rather charming
0:10:45 > 0:10:48# Slightly alarming
0:10:48 > 0:10:54# Wear a blank expression and their heads are in a whirl
0:10:54 > 0:11:00# And walk with a bend in your back and they call you a Gibson girl
0:11:00 > 0:11:04# With a bend in your back and a look in your eye
0:11:04 > 0:11:05# They call you a Gibson girl. #
0:11:07 > 0:11:08APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:11:25 > 0:11:29# How'd you like to spoon with me?
0:11:31 > 0:11:35# How'd you like to spoon with me?
0:11:36 > 0:11:41# Sit beneath an oak tree large and shady
0:11:41 > 0:11:47# Call me little tootsie-wootsie baby
0:11:47 > 0:11:51# How'd you like to hug and squeeze?
0:11:51 > 0:11:57# Dangle me upon your knees?
0:11:57 > 0:12:01# How'd you like to be my lovey-dovey?
0:12:01 > 0:12:06# How'd you like to spoon with me?
0:12:06 > 0:12:10# I don't know why I am so very shy
0:12:10 > 0:12:15# I've always been demure
0:12:15 > 0:12:19# I never knew what silly lovers do
0:12:19 > 0:12:24# No flirting I'd endure
0:12:24 > 0:12:27# In all my life I've never kissed a man
0:12:27 > 0:12:31# I've never winked my eye
0:12:31 > 0:12:35# But now at last I'm going to break the ice
0:12:35 > 0:12:40# So how'd you like to try?
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Give me a chance.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48- # How'd you like to spoon with me? - I'd like to.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- # How'd you like to spoon with me? - Well, rather.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57# Sit beneath an oak tree large and shady
0:12:57 > 0:13:01# Call me little tootsie-wootsie baby
0:13:01 > 0:13:06- # How'd you like to hug and squeeze?- Indeed I would.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- # Dangle me upon your knees? - Oh, if I could.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16# How'd you like to be my lovey-dovey?
0:13:16 > 0:13:21# How'd you like to spoon with me?
0:13:21 > 0:13:26# How'd you like to be my lovey-dovey?
0:13:26 > 0:13:32# How'd you like to spoon with me? #
0:13:32 > 0:13:38APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Who could refuse?
0:13:50 > 0:13:55Egregiously zealous in paroxysmal... Pardon!
0:13:55 > 0:14:02..pursuit of asymmetrical asininity with his company,
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Mr Denny Willis.
0:14:19 > 0:14:24The fox... The fox... The...
0:14:24 > 0:14:26# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:14:26 > 0:14:28# The red fox, the red fox
0:14:28 > 0:14:32# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho! With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:14:34 > 0:14:38# The hunting huntsman blows his horn, a gold horn, a cream horn
0:14:38 > 0:14:41# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:14:41 > 0:14:42# A red fox, a red fox
0:14:42 > 0:14:45# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:14:49 > 0:14:52# Old grandpa with his wooden leg, limping, limping
0:14:52 > 0:14:56# The hunting huntsman blows his horn, a gold horn, a cream horn
0:14:56 > 0:14:58# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:14:58 > 0:15:00# A red fox, a red fox
0:15:00 > 0:15:04# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha silly billy
0:15:10 > 0:15:13# Old grandpa with his wooden leg, limping, limping
0:15:13 > 0:15:16# The hunting huntsman blows his horn...
0:15:16 > 0:15:18# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:15:18 > 0:15:20# A red fox, a red fox
0:15:20 > 0:15:24# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:15:27 > 0:15:31# The children running home from school, he's barmy, he's barmy
0:15:31 > 0:15:34# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, silly billy
0:15:34 > 0:15:38# Old grandpa with his wooden leg, limping, limping
0:15:38 > 0:15:42# The hunting huntsman blows his horn...
0:15:42 > 0:15:44# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:15:44 > 0:15:45# A red fox, a red fox
0:15:45 > 0:15:48# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:15:52 > 0:15:56# Behold the bold Sir Geoffrey, dandy, bandy
0:15:56 > 0:16:00# The children running home from school, he's barmy, he's barmy
0:16:00 > 0:16:03# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, silly billy
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- # Old grandpa with his wooden leg... - It's all right for you lot!
0:16:06 > 0:16:07# Limping, limping
0:16:07 > 0:16:10# The hunting huntsman blows his horn, a gold horn, a cream horn
0:16:10 > 0:16:12# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:16:12 > 0:16:14# A red fox, a red fox
0:16:14 > 0:16:17# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:16:21 > 0:16:24# All for the Lady Gwendoline, she's charming, she's charming
0:16:24 > 0:16:28# Behold the bold Sir Geoffrey, dandy, bandy
0:16:28 > 0:16:31# The children running home from school, he's barmy, he's barmy
0:16:31 > 0:16:35# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, silly billy
0:16:35 > 0:16:39# Old grandpa with his wooden leg, limping, limping
0:16:39 > 0:16:42# The hunting huntsman blows his horn, a gold horn, a cream horn
0:16:42 > 0:16:43# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:16:43 > 0:16:46# A red fox, a red fox
0:16:46 > 0:16:49# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho!
0:16:52 > 0:16:56# Sir Geoffrey cried, "Egad, I will woo her, boo her"
0:16:56 > 0:17:00# All for the Lady Gwendoline, she's charming, she's charming
0:17:00 > 0:17:03# Behold the bold Sir Geoffrey, dandy, bandy
0:17:03 > 0:17:07# The children running home from school, he's barmy, he's barmy
0:17:07 > 0:17:10# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, silly billy
0:17:10 > 0:17:14# Old grandpa with his wooden leg, limping, limping
0:17:14 > 0:17:17# The hunting huntsman blows his horn, a gold horn, a cream horn
0:17:17 > 0:17:20# The fox, the fox has left his lair
0:17:20 > 0:17:21# A red fox, a red fox
0:17:21 > 0:17:27# With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho With a yoicks, tally-ho, tally-ho! #
0:17:33 > 0:17:36APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:17:38 > 0:17:41Couldn't want him to do it again.
0:17:41 > 0:17:48Assorted artefacts, ejaculatory, repetitious
0:17:48 > 0:17:54in rhythmic, tangential trajectory.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Juggling. Mr James Reinhardt.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:51 > 0:18:56All right, all right, all right. I got to continue.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59I don't want to inflict this upon you, but...
0:18:59 > 0:19:03MUSIC PLAYS
0:20:09 > 0:20:13APPLAUSE
0:21:52 > 0:21:55APPLAUSE
0:22:06 > 0:22:09MUSIC PLAYS
0:22:12 > 0:22:16Mirth, provocative meanderings,
0:22:16 > 0:22:20a metropolitan miniature, Mr Deryk Parkin.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23APPLAUSE
0:22:35 > 0:22:37I am the gay lamp lighter
0:22:37 > 0:22:40LAUGHTER
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Perhaps you recognise my form
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Racing through the shadows from the dusk until dawn
0:22:50 > 0:22:52The job I do is exciting
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Never mind the snow or rain
0:22:55 > 0:22:58To each dull patch I bring some light...
0:22:58 > 0:23:02# Then turn it out again
0:23:03 > 0:23:09# I toddle along the busy prom to make the glasses bright
0:23:09 > 0:23:14# I toddle along, whistle a song and light them up at night
0:23:14 > 0:23:18# Down the alley, down the court, up the street and lane
0:23:18 > 0:23:22# I toddle along, I dilly-dong and put them out again. #
0:23:27 > 0:23:29LAUGHTER
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I should've known.
0:23:35 > 0:23:43Inside this box, I keep the props For which many an odd job calls
0:23:43 > 0:23:46A mop, a rope, a bar of soap
0:23:48 > 0:23:54And two enormous balls. You never know.
0:23:56 > 0:24:02Some paint, a pale, a pint of ale
0:24:04 > 0:24:06A horn in case of fog
0:24:06 > 0:24:08HORN HONKS
0:24:08 > 0:24:11And whenever danger threatens Well, I take along my dog.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17I don't know if you can see from where you're sitting,
0:24:17 > 0:24:20but my dog's got no nose.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23No nose? How does he smell? Bloomin' awful.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25LAUGHTER
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Ready?
0:24:28 > 0:24:33# I toddle along the busy prom to make the glasses bright
0:24:33 > 0:24:37# I toddle along, whistle a song and light them up at night
0:24:39 > 0:24:43# Down the alley, down the court, up the street and lane
0:24:45 > 0:24:50# I toddle along at early dawn and put them out again. #
0:24:50 > 0:24:52- Whoo!- You can shut up, for a start!
0:24:52 > 0:24:55Oh, well, third time lucky.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57HE CHUCKLES
0:24:57 > 0:24:59LAUGHTER
0:25:01 > 0:25:05# Be prepared, that is my motto I'm never taken unawares
0:25:05 > 0:25:08# If that pole fails inside this box
0:25:08 > 0:25:11# I always keep a spare
0:25:11 > 0:25:15# A lofty light's no problem For this pole, it has no end
0:25:15 > 0:25:17HE CHUCKLES
0:25:17 > 0:25:22# Without ado or ladder, too Those distant lights I tend. #
0:25:22 > 0:25:25And when I say distant, I mean distant.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29I don't mean just these ones here, I mean those ones right over there.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31HE LAUGHS
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Wait a minute, there we go.
0:25:34 > 0:25:40And now, as the golden gaslight permeates throughout the auditorium,
0:25:40 > 0:25:45I'm going to sing for you one last time this cheerful little ditty.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48And if I catch any of you lot up there nodding off,
0:25:48 > 0:25:51I'll be in there amongst you with my red-hot tip.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Wahey!
0:25:52 > 0:25:54After two!
0:25:54 > 0:25:59# I toddle along the busy prom to make the glasses bright
0:25:59 > 0:26:04# I toddle along, whistle a song and light them up at night
0:26:04 > 0:26:07# Down the alley, down the court, up the street and lane
0:26:07 > 0:26:12# I toddle along at early dawn and put them out again
0:26:12 > 0:26:15# I toddle along at early dawn
0:26:17 > 0:26:25# I toddle along at early dawn and put them out again. #
0:26:25 > 0:26:26APPLAUSE
0:26:45 > 0:26:49The epitomisation
0:26:49 > 0:26:54of amatory efflorescence
0:26:54 > 0:26:57in potent plangencies!
0:26:57 > 0:26:58AUDIENCE GROAN
0:26:58 > 0:27:03Welcome to an entirely new newcomer, Miss Grace Kennedy!
0:27:03 > 0:27:05APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:05 > 0:27:07ORCHESTRA STRIKES UP
0:27:14 > 0:27:18# Some day he'll come along
0:27:20 > 0:27:23# The man I love
0:27:26 > 0:27:29# And he'll be big and strong
0:27:32 > 0:27:35# The man I love
0:27:38 > 0:27:40# And when he comes my way
0:27:42 > 0:27:51# I'll do my best to make him stay
0:27:54 > 0:27:58# He'll look at me and smile
0:27:58 > 0:28:01# I'll understand
0:28:01 > 0:28:05# And in a little while
0:28:05 > 0:28:08# He'll take my hand
0:28:08 > 0:28:12# And though it seems absurd
0:28:12 > 0:28:19# I know we both won't say a word
0:28:22 > 0:28:28# Maybe I shall meet him one day
0:28:28 > 0:28:35# Maybe Monday, maybe not
0:28:35 > 0:28:40# Still, I'm sure to meet him one day
0:28:40 > 0:28:44# Maybe Tuesday
0:28:44 > 0:28:49# Will be my good news day
0:28:49 > 0:28:53# We'll build a little home
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# Just meant for two
0:28:56 > 0:29:00# From which I'll never roam
0:29:00 > 0:29:03# Who would? Would you?
0:29:03 > 0:29:07# And so all else above
0:29:07 > 0:29:15# I'm waiting for the man I love. #
0:29:21 > 0:29:28# Fish got to swim and birds got to fly
0:29:28 > 0:29:35# I've got to love one man till I die
0:29:35 > 0:29:42# Can't help loving that man of mine
0:29:48 > 0:29:54# Tell me he's lazy Tell me he's slow
0:29:54 > 0:30:01# Tell me I'm crazy, maybe I know
0:30:01 > 0:30:09# Can't help loving that man of mine
0:30:14 > 0:30:21# When he goes away
0:30:21 > 0:30:27# That's a rainy day
0:30:27 > 0:30:32# But when he comes back
0:30:32 > 0:30:39# That day is fine
0:30:39 > 0:30:42# The sun will shine
0:30:43 > 0:30:48# The sun will shine
0:30:48 > 0:30:54# He can come home as late as can be
0:30:54 > 0:31:00# Home without him ain't no home to me
0:31:00 > 0:31:03# Can't help
0:31:03 > 0:31:14# Loving that man of mine. #
0:31:21 > 0:31:24RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:31:42 > 0:31:46The acme, the apogee,
0:31:46 > 0:31:52the zenith of idiosyncratic egocentricity,
0:31:52 > 0:31:58the one and only Mr Max Wall!
0:31:58 > 0:31:59APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:31:59 > 0:32:01ORCHESTRA STRIKES UP
0:32:11 > 0:32:13JAUNTY INSTRUMENTAL
0:32:17 > 0:32:19LAUGHTER
0:32:19 > 0:32:22APPLAUSE
0:32:28 > 0:32:30Huh! Hm!
0:32:31 > 0:32:33- HE COUGHS - Excuse me.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39# I've always been quite hasty, I blow up just like a bubble
0:32:39 > 0:32:42# And I say things that I honestly don't mean
0:32:44 > 0:32:47# Well, I'll have to cure this habit or I'll get myself in trouble
0:32:47 > 0:32:49# And I'll finish up by making quite a scene
0:32:52 > 0:32:55# For instance, only yesterday I tried to cross the road
0:32:55 > 0:32:58# And I nearly got run over by a car
0:32:59 > 0:33:03# I shouted to the fellow, "Learn to drive, you little toad
0:33:06 > 0:33:08LAUGHTER
0:33:09 > 0:33:12# "The ugly little midget that you are"
0:33:15 > 0:33:18# He stopped and then got out and I could see
0:33:20 > 0:33:24# That the chap was over six feet tall and looked just like a tree
0:33:28 > 0:33:30# He said, "What was that that you said?"
0:33:30 > 0:33:32# I said, "Who said?" He said, "You said!"
0:33:32 > 0:33:34# I said, "Me?" He said, "Yes, you" I said, "Not me!"
0:33:40 > 0:33:42# He said, "I've half a mind to thrash you"
0:33:42 > 0:33:44# I said, "Thrash who?" He said, "Thrash you!"
0:33:44 > 0:33:47# And I stood back there astounded at his flow of repartee
0:33:47 > 0:33:49LAUGHTER
0:33:53 > 0:33:55# He said, "I know just what you thought"
0:33:55 > 0:33:57# I said, "Who thought?" He said, "You thought"
0:33:57 > 0:34:00# I said, "Me?" He said, "Yes, you thought I was small
0:34:06 > 0:34:08# "So in future, be more careful"
0:34:08 > 0:34:10# I said, "Bet your life I will be"
0:34:10 > 0:34:13# Then he got back in his car and that was all. #
0:34:13 > 0:34:15LAUGHTER
0:34:22 > 0:34:23LAUGHTER
0:34:26 > 0:34:29# A week ago today, I went to supper with a girlfriend
0:34:30 > 0:34:33# She's the girlfriend when her husband's not about
0:34:33 > 0:34:37# Well, I knew that it was risky and that anything might happen
0:34:37 > 0:34:39# If he suddenly came in and found us out
0:34:43 > 0:34:46# Still, we sat and had some supper then we polished off the gin
0:34:47 > 0:34:50# Then she said, "My husband is listening at the door"
0:34:50 > 0:34:52LAUGHTER
0:34:57 > 0:35:02# I said, "Let the blighter listen Come on, let's have one more kiss
0:35:02 > 0:35:05# "If he comes in here I'll smash him on the jaw" #
0:35:09 > 0:35:13# The door then opened widely with a crash
0:35:19 > 0:35:24# And he stood there like a giant as he curled his huge moustache
0:35:29 > 0:35:31# He said, "What was that that you said?
0:35:31 > 0:35:34# I said, "Who said?" He said, "You said"
0:35:34 > 0:35:37# "Me?" "Yes, you"
0:35:40 > 0:35:43# He said, "I really ought to kill you." I said, "Kill who?"
0:35:43 > 0:35:46# He said, "Kill you." I said, "Me?" He said, "Yes, you."
0:35:46 > 0:35:48# I said, "But how?" He said, "You'll see!"
0:35:51 > 0:35:53# I said, "But you'd be hung for murder"
0:35:53 > 0:35:55# He said, "Who would?" I said, "You would"
0:35:55 > 0:35:57# He said, "Me?" I said, "Yes, you"
0:35:57 > 0:35:59# He said, "You're right
0:36:02 > 0:36:05# "I shall have to think that over" I said, "What?"
0:36:05 > 0:36:06# He said, "What you said
0:36:06 > 0:36:08# I said, "Yes. I'll be going. Goodnight!" #
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Now, tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
0:36:23 > 0:36:27I have had one or two requests from thousands of people.
0:36:30 > 0:36:34It appears they require me to resurrect,
0:36:34 > 0:36:39if that is indeed the right word to use,
0:36:39 > 0:36:43a very famous old jazz song entitled Birth Of The Blues.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47As a matter of fact, all my friends here agree with this gentleman...
0:36:48 > 0:36:51..and so with the aid of my friends tonight I'm going to render
0:36:51 > 0:36:54this song for you.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57Just like you render fat down in a frying pan.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06# They took the breeze from the trees
0:37:08 > 0:37:11# Whispering weird and very wonderful melodies
0:37:11 > 0:37:13# Yes, folks
0:37:15 > 0:37:17# And they made it the start of the blues... #
0:37:23 > 0:37:26Here was me singing away with feeling in the bosom,
0:37:26 > 0:37:29giving it everything I have, the orchestra were all loud,
0:37:29 > 0:37:31too quick and everything went wrong!
0:37:33 > 0:37:37Ha-ha ha-ha.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39Yes.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43What happened?
0:37:45 > 0:37:49# And from a jail came the wail
0:37:51 > 0:37:54# Of a poor little downhearted frail
0:37:54 > 0:37:55# And they took...
0:37:57 > 0:37:59# B-B-Blues! #
0:38:01 > 0:38:03You couldn't care less, could you?
0:38:06 > 0:38:09I'll tell you what I'll do here, this is extraordinary,
0:38:09 > 0:38:10I will do two things at once.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12I walk up and down and sing the middle part of this
0:38:12 > 0:38:15chorus at the same time in strict rhythm.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Yes. They don't believe it.
0:38:20 > 0:38:21AUDIENCE: No!
0:38:21 > 0:38:25I'm going to do it because I tell you, we had to do this in the Army.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29Two things at once in the Army. During the war, yes.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32Two things at once on the word of command.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37Of course, if the bombs were falling often we did three.
0:38:47 > 0:38:52# From a whippoorwill out on the hill
0:38:52 > 0:38:56# They took a new note
0:38:56 > 0:39:00# Pushed it through a horn till it was worn
0:39:02 > 0:39:05# Into a lovely new blue note
0:39:05 > 0:39:08# An' then they nursed it
0:39:08 > 0:39:10# They rehearsed it
0:39:10 > 0:39:14# And then gave out the news
0:39:15 > 0:39:18# That the "Southland"
0:39:19 > 0:39:22# Gave birth to the blues!
0:39:23 > 0:39:28# The "Southland" Gave birth to the blues. #
0:39:44 > 0:39:49In tribute to the versatility of Miss Vesta Victoria,
0:39:49 > 0:39:53once again, the Players Theatre plus Miss Doreen Hermitage!
0:39:56 > 0:40:00# Oh, it's all right in the summertime
0:40:00 > 0:40:04# In the summertime it's lovely
0:40:04 > 0:40:07# While my old man's painting hard
0:40:07 > 0:40:11# I'm posing in the old back yard
0:40:11 > 0:40:14# But, oh, oh, in the wintertime
0:40:14 > 0:40:17# It's another thing, you know
0:40:17 > 0:40:21# With a little red nose and very little clothes
0:40:21 > 0:40:25# And the stormy winds do blow, oh, oh,
0:40:25 > 0:40:28# And the stormy winds do blow. #
0:40:30 > 0:40:34# At our house not long ago a lodger came to stay
0:40:34 > 0:40:39# At first I thought I'd like to drive him right away
0:40:39 > 0:40:43# But soon he proved himself to be so very good and kind
0:40:43 > 0:40:48# That like my dear mamma I quite made up my little mind
0:40:48 > 0:40:52# Our lodger's such a nice young man
0:40:52 > 0:40:55- # Such a nice young man is he - Such a nice man
0:40:55 > 0:40:59# So good, so kind
0:40:59 > 0:41:03- # To all our family - All the family
0:41:03 > 0:41:06# And he's never going to leave us
0:41:06 > 0:41:10# Oh, dear, oh, dear, no
0:41:10 > 0:41:14# He's such a good, goody goody man
0:41:14 > 0:41:17# Mamma told me so
0:41:17 > 0:41:21# He used to come and court his little Mary-Ann
0:41:21 > 0:41:25# I used to think that he was my young man
0:41:25 > 0:41:29# But Mother caught his eye and they got married on the sly
0:41:29 > 0:41:33- # Now I have call him... - Father! #
0:41:33 > 0:41:38# And Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow
0:41:38 > 0:41:41# Daddy wouldn't buy me a bow-wow
0:41:41 > 0:41:45# I've got a little cat I am very fond of that
0:41:45 > 0:41:49# But I'd rather have a bow-wow-wow
0:41:49 > 0:41:55# Yes, I'd rather have a bow-wow-wow!
0:41:55 > 0:41:58# Wow-wow! #
0:42:02 > 0:42:05# Let's all go to the music hall
0:42:05 > 0:42:08# Where the show is gay and bright
0:42:08 > 0:42:12# Let's all go to the music hall
0:42:12 > 0:42:15# Where the stars are twinkling every night
0:42:15 > 0:42:18# Whether you sit in the gallery, the circle or the pit
0:42:18 > 0:42:23# Or whether you sit in a red plush stall
0:42:23 > 0:42:27# When the busy day is done, if you want to have some fun
0:42:27 > 0:42:30# Let's all go to the music hall
0:42:30 > 0:42:33# Let's all go to the music hall
0:42:33 > 0:42:37# Where the show is gay and bright
0:42:37 > 0:42:40# Let's all go to the music hall
0:42:40 > 0:42:43# Where the stars are twinkling every night
0:42:43 > 0:42:48# Whether you sit in the gallery, the circle or the pit
0:42:48 > 0:42:51# Or whether you sit in a red plush stall
0:42:51 > 0:42:55# When the busy day is done, if you want to have some fun
0:42:55 > 0:42:57# Let's all go to the music hall. #
0:43:11 > 0:43:15# John took me round to see his mother
0:43:15 > 0:43:19# His mother, his mother
0:43:19 > 0:43:23# And while he introduced us to each other
0:43:23 > 0:43:27# She weighed up everything I had on
0:43:27 > 0:43:31# She put me through a cross-examination
0:43:31 > 0:43:35# I fairly boiled with aggravation
0:43:35 > 0:43:39# Then she shook her head, looked at me and said
0:43:39 > 0:43:43# "Poor John, poor John." #
0:43:43 > 0:43:45"Poor John" indeed!
0:43:45 > 0:43:48# I'm in a nice bit of trouble, I confess
0:43:48 > 0:43:52# Somebody with me has had a game
0:43:52 > 0:43:56# I should by now be a proud and happy bride
0:43:56 > 0:43:59# But I still have to keep my single name
0:43:59 > 0:44:03# I was proposed to by Obadiah Binks
0:44:03 > 0:44:07# In a very gentlemanly way
0:44:07 > 0:44:09# Gave him all my money
0:44:09 > 0:44:11# So that he could buy the home
0:44:11 > 0:44:15# And punctually at twelve o'clock today
0:44:17 > 0:44:21# There was I, waiting at the church
0:44:21 > 0:44:25# Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
0:44:25 > 0:44:29# When I found he'd left me in the lurch
0:44:29 > 0:44:32# Oh, how it did upset me!
0:44:33 > 0:44:37# All at once, he sent me round a note
0:44:37 > 0:44:41# Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
0:44:41 > 0:44:46# "Can't get away to marry you today
0:44:46 > 0:44:49# "My wife won't let me!"
0:44:49 > 0:44:53# There was I, waiting at the church
0:44:53 > 0:44:57# Waiting at the church, waiting at the church
0:44:57 > 0:45:01# When I found he'd left me in the lurch
0:45:01 > 0:45:05# Lor, how it did upset me!
0:45:05 > 0:45:09# All at once, he sent me round a note
0:45:09 > 0:45:13# Here's the very note, this is what he wrote
0:45:13 > 0:45:16# "Can't get away to marry you today
0:45:16 > 0:45:21# "My wife won't let me!" #
0:45:28 > 0:45:32# All in a day my heart grew sad
0:45:32 > 0:45:36# Misfortune came my way
0:45:36 > 0:45:40# I had to learn the old bitter truth
0:45:40 > 0:45:43# All in a single day
0:45:43 > 0:45:48# The man what I worshipped as I loved my life
0:45:48 > 0:45:54# After him saying he'd make me his wife
0:45:54 > 0:45:59# Courted another young girl on the sly
0:45:59 > 0:46:03# So I go straight up to him
0:46:03 > 0:46:08# "Look 'ere, Bill," says I
0:46:12 > 0:46:15# Bid me goodbye forever
0:46:18 > 0:46:21# Never come back no more
0:46:24 > 0:46:27# Think of the heart you've gone and broke
0:46:29 > 0:46:34# Of the donor you used to adore
0:46:38 > 0:46:41# Marry the girl you fancy
0:46:43 > 0:46:47# I wish you luck, I do
0:46:48 > 0:46:52# But I mean to tarry
0:46:52 > 0:46:56# Cos I'll never marry
0:46:56 > 0:47:01# If I can't be tied up to you
0:47:10 > 0:47:14# Never come back no more
0:47:14 > 0:47:17# Sing to the heart you've gone and broke
0:47:17 > 0:47:21# Think of the heart you've gone and broke
0:47:21 > 0:47:25# Of the donor you used to adore
0:47:28 > 0:47:33- # Marry the girl you fancy - Marry the girl you fancy
0:47:33 > 0:47:36# I wish you luck
0:47:36 > 0:47:38# I wish you luck, I do
0:47:41 > 0:47:48# But I mean to tarry Cos I'll never marry
0:47:48 > 0:47:55# If I can't be tied up to you
0:47:55 > 0:48:01# Be tied up to you...! #
0:48:19 > 0:48:23There is only just time for Mr Max Wall to lead the company
0:48:23 > 0:48:25and yourselves in the last chorus for tonight,
0:48:25 > 0:48:26Down At The Old Bull And Bush.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Max Wall, the entire company,
0:48:29 > 0:48:35Mr Bernard Herrmann, the entire and indefatigable orchestra...
0:48:35 > 0:48:36CHEERING
0:48:36 > 0:48:39..but this time, chiefly
0:48:39 > 0:48:41- ALL:- ..yourselves!
0:48:45 > 0:48:49# Come, come, come and make eyes at me
0:48:49 > 0:48:52# Down at The Old Bull And Bush
0:48:52 > 0:48:56# Come, come, drink some port wine with me
0:48:56 > 0:48:58# Down at The Old Bull And Bush
0:49:00 > 0:49:03# Hear the little German band
0:49:03 > 0:49:04# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
0:49:04 > 0:49:08# Just let me hold your hand, dear
0:49:08 > 0:49:11# Do, do, come and have a drink or two
0:49:11 > 0:49:15# Down at The Old Bull And Bush
0:49:15 > 0:49:18# Bush, Bush! #