0:00:11 > 0:00:14# I'll be your sweetheart
0:00:14 > 0:00:19# If you will be mine
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# All my life
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# I'll be your Valentine
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# Bluebells I've gathered
0:00:30 > 0:00:34# Keep them and be true
0:00:34 > 0:00:42# When I'm a man, my plan will be to marry you. #
0:00:42 > 0:00:47APPLAUSE
0:00:56 > 0:01:00# Come with me, come to the ball
0:01:00 > 0:01:04# Music and merriment call
0:01:04 > 0:01:08# Golden and gay are the lamps above
0:01:08 > 0:01:12# Every tune is a song of love
0:01:12 > 0:01:16# All of you come to the ball
0:01:16 > 0:01:20# There will be welcome for all
0:01:20 > 0:01:24# Chance for a dance and romance
0:01:24 > 0:01:26# At the ball
0:01:26 > 0:01:28# At the ball
0:01:28 > 0:01:32# Casey would waltz with a strawberry blonde
0:01:32 > 0:01:35# And the band played on
0:01:35 > 0:01:39# He'd glide cross the floor with the girl he adored
0:01:39 > 0:01:42# And the band played on
0:01:42 > 0:01:46# But his brain was so loaded it nearly exploded
0:01:46 > 0:01:50# The poor girl would shake with alarm
0:01:50 > 0:01:53# He'd ne'er leave the girl with the strawberry curls
0:01:53 > 0:01:57# And the band played on
0:02:01 > 0:02:04# She sang like a nightingale, twanged her guitar
0:02:04 > 0:02:07# Danced the Cachuca, smoked a cigar
0:02:07 > 0:02:11# Oh, what a form Oh, what a face
0:02:11 > 0:02:14# And she did the Fandango all over the place
0:02:14 > 0:02:17# She sang like a nightingale, twanged her guitar
0:02:17 > 0:02:20# Danced the Cachuca, smoked a cigar
0:02:20 > 0:02:23# Oh, what a form Oh, what a face
0:02:23 > 0:02:28# And she did the Fandango all over the place
0:02:28 > 0:02:32# You should see me dance the Polka
0:02:32 > 0:02:34# You should see me cover the ground
0:02:34 > 0:02:36# You should see my coat-tails flying
0:02:36 > 0:02:38# As I jump my partner round
0:02:38 > 0:02:40# When the band commences playing
0:02:40 > 0:02:42# My feet begin to go
0:02:42 > 0:02:44# For a rollicking romping Polka
0:02:44 > 0:02:46# Is the jolliest dance I know
0:03:02 > 0:03:04# For a rollicking romping Polka
0:03:04 > 0:03:09# Is the jolliest fun I know. #
0:03:37 > 0:03:43Once again, good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Circumlocutarily...
0:03:52 > 0:03:57Asseverating in super abundant superlative.
0:03:58 > 0:04:06Alliterations encompassing initially titanic entanglements...
0:04:07 > 0:04:12..inherent in Herculean hilarities.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Mr Ted Durante and Hilda.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Danke schon, Herman.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Herman de break de foot.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Over the Welsh, please.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Beautiful.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Cloud!
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Voila!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Danke schon.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Good girl.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Madam...
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Madam, will you kiss it better?
0:07:01 > 0:07:02Madam!
0:07:19 > 0:07:22More?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27More?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35More?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Cloud!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Champagne.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Danke schon.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Back! Back!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Back!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Please, move!
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Get back!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Proust, schtoll.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Very dry.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Nein. Not plunger in the jacksie, nein!
0:09:49 > 0:09:52What is the plumber with this jacksies?
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Right... Where's the mark?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Like that.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57Twit!
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Clumsy twit!
0:11:59 > 0:12:02Yes, they are rather more than just good friends.
0:12:03 > 0:12:10Inveigling in inveterate, verve and vivacity,
0:12:10 > 0:12:16irrepressibly ebullient Miss Sheila Buxton.
0:12:22 > 0:12:27# Put your arms around me, honey, hold me tight
0:12:27 > 0:12:32# Huddle up and cuddle up with all your might
0:12:32 > 0:12:37# Oh! Oh! Won't you roll those eyes?
0:12:37 > 0:12:41# Eyes that I just idolise
0:12:41 > 0:12:47# When they look at me, my heart begins to float
0:12:47 > 0:12:52# Then it starts a rockin' like a motor boat
0:12:52 > 0:13:00# Oh! Oh! I never knew any boy like you
0:13:03 > 0:13:10# Oh, baby, put your arms around me, honey,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13# Hold me tight
0:13:13 > 0:13:18# Huddle up and cuddle up with all your might
0:13:18 > 0:13:23# Oh! Oh! Won't you roll those eyes?
0:13:23 > 0:13:28# Eyes that I just idolise
0:13:28 > 0:13:33# When they look at me, my heart begins to float
0:13:33 > 0:13:38# Then it starts a rockin' like a motor boat
0:13:38 > 0:13:43# Oh! Oh! I never knew
0:13:43 > 0:13:49# Any boy like you. #
0:13:52 > 0:13:55APPLAUSE
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Thank you.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09# Everybody loves a baby that's why I'm in love with you
0:14:09 > 0:14:13# Pretty baby, pretty baby
0:14:13 > 0:14:17# Now I'd like to be your sister, brother, dad and mother too
0:14:17 > 0:14:21# Pretty baby, pretty baby
0:14:21 > 0:14:26# Won't you come and let me rock you in my cradle of love
0:14:26 > 0:14:30# And we'll cuddle all the time
0:14:30 > 0:14:35# Now, I want a lovin' baby, and it might as well be you
0:14:35 > 0:14:39# Pretty baby of mine
0:14:39 > 0:14:43# Pretty baby of mine
0:14:47 > 0:14:53# Come sweetheart mine, don't sit and pine
0:14:53 > 0:14:59# Tell me of the cares that make you feel so blue
0:15:00 > 0:15:04# What have I done?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07# Answer me, hun
0:15:07 > 0:15:14# Have I ever said an unkind word to you?
0:15:15 > 0:15:22# My love is true and just for you
0:15:23 > 0:15:30# I'd do anything, my dear, you know, for you
0:15:33 > 0:15:35# Dear, when you sigh
0:15:35 > 0:15:39# And when you cry
0:15:39 > 0:15:47# Something seems to grip this little heart of mine
0:15:51 > 0:15:55# So, come to me
0:15:55 > 0:16:01# My melancholy baby
0:16:03 > 0:16:06# Won't you cuddle up
0:16:06 > 0:16:12# And don't you dare be blue
0:16:15 > 0:16:21# Cos all your fears are foolish
0:16:22 > 0:16:27# They're fancy, baby
0:16:29 > 0:16:36# You know, dear, I'm so in love with you
0:16:40 > 0:16:48# And every cloud must have a silver lining
0:16:53 > 0:17:01# Why don't you wait until that sun, that sun shines through
0:17:05 > 0:17:10# Come on and smile, my honey dear
0:17:12 > 0:17:20# Then I'll kiss away each tear
0:17:20 > 0:17:26# Or else I shall be
0:17:26 > 0:17:33# Melancholy too
0:17:36 > 0:17:38# Baby face
0:17:38 > 0:17:42# You've got the cutest little baby face
0:17:42 > 0:17:45# There's not another one could take your place
0:17:45 > 0:17:46# Baby face
0:17:46 > 0:17:49# My poor heart's jumping
0:17:49 > 0:17:50# You sure have started something
0:17:50 > 0:17:52# Baby face
0:17:52 > 0:17:56# I'm in heaven when I'm in your fond embrace
0:17:56 > 0:17:58# I never need no shove
0:17:58 > 0:18:00# I fell in love
0:18:00 > 0:18:04# With your pretty baby, here we go
0:18:04 > 0:18:06# Baby face
0:18:06 > 0:18:10# You've got the cutest little baby face
0:18:10 > 0:18:12# There's not another one could take your place
0:18:12 > 0:18:17# My baby face My poor heart's jumping
0:18:18 > 0:18:20# Baby face
0:18:20 > 0:18:24# I'm in heaven when I'm in your fond embrace
0:18:24 > 0:18:28# I never need no shove I fell in love
0:18:28 > 0:18:30# With your pretty little baby face
0:18:30 > 0:18:32# Such a pretty baby
0:18:32 > 0:18:39# Your pretty little baby face. #
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Paramount pre-eminence
0:18:58 > 0:19:00of Parisian prestidigitation.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06A French conjuror.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Mesdames et Messieurs...
0:19:10 > 0:19:15Le Bureau Lunere. Gambin!
0:25:05 > 0:25:12Frolicsome, fatuities, facetiously
0:25:12 > 0:25:18flaunted in maritime mischievousness.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Mr Billy Dainty.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36# Many years before the war we used to go away
0:25:36 > 0:25:40# And spend a jolly time beside the sea
0:25:46 > 0:25:51# But then the railway fares went up
0:25:51 > 0:25:56# And we had to stay at home because we hadn't got the LSD
0:25:57 > 0:26:01# But Father had a good idea
0:26:01 > 0:26:06# To make the house look... gay
0:26:10 > 0:26:13You're not supposed to know what that means.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17# With railway posters pasted on each wall
0:26:20 > 0:26:22# Every...
0:26:22 > 0:26:27# Every room has a lovely view from Deal to Donegal
0:26:27 > 0:26:30# So we never want to go at all...
0:26:30 > 0:26:33I beat you then.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38# Oh, seaside posters round the home
0:26:40 > 0:26:46# Never bought a journey...
0:26:48 > 0:26:50# There's Brighton in the bathroom
0:26:52 > 0:26:54# And Papa he feels the swell
0:27:02 > 0:27:07# Because he cuts his toenails outside the Metropole Hotel
0:27:07 > 0:27:09# Now there's Plymouth in the pantry
0:27:09 > 0:27:12# And Yarmouth in the yard
0:27:12 > 0:27:17# And Bournemouth's somewhere at the back
0:27:19 > 0:27:23# And in the little parlour
0:27:23 > 0:27:26# Where the girls all love to chat
0:27:26 > 0:27:30# There's Clacton with the accent on the clack. #
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I used to love going to Clacton, you know.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38You used to dive off the pier and do those...
0:27:42 > 0:27:47- Mr Chairman, did you see what the lady did?- No!- Pardon?- NO!- Oh.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Well, I was doing the over and my leg flew out like that.
0:27:54 > 0:27:59My leg went up like that. She went straight up out of the seat.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05That's all some people come in for, isn't it?
0:28:07 > 0:28:11If you like, Madam, I will come down there and model the costume for you.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15APPLAUSE
0:28:19 > 0:28:24There we are, Madam. Is that what's...
0:28:24 > 0:28:28Is that what's turning you on?
0:28:28 > 0:28:32You wouldn't think I was once a seven-and-a-half stone...
0:28:32 > 0:28:34Pardon?
0:28:36 > 0:28:38It's hard to believe, isn't it?
0:28:38 > 0:28:42I was once seven-and-a-half stone. Mind you, I was three years old
0:28:42 > 0:28:43at the time.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47I've not been fed yet.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Not too close.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Seven-and-a-half stone.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56I've been on one of those courses. Builder body.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04You want to build your body? Wrestle, that's the thing to do.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06I love watching them, don't you?
0:29:06 > 0:29:09Have you seen those wrestlers, look like ballet dancers with mumps.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15Takes a long time, the sound to get back...
0:29:21 > 0:29:25Any woman here tonight fancies a bit of grunt and groan?
0:29:27 > 0:29:30Then afterwards we'd probably wrestle.
0:29:30 > 0:29:36Any woman? What about you, ma'am? Do you fancy trying to make me submit?
0:29:39 > 0:29:42I'm anybody's for a boiled sweet.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45Any young lady who fancies...?
0:29:45 > 0:29:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:29:56 > 0:29:59I can't get this off.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06Taste that.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13HE LAUGHS Oh, dear!
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Well, that's good. I've forgotten where I am now.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24Mind you, I love going on the beach with this, you know.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26You see some funny sights on the beach, don't you? Yes?
0:30:28 > 0:30:29I thought I'd get in before you did.
0:30:31 > 0:30:35But the funniest sight you can ever see on a beach is somebody
0:30:35 > 0:30:38trying to get their costume off under a towel.
0:30:38 > 0:30:39Have you ever seen it?
0:30:41 > 0:30:42But you know...
0:30:44 > 0:30:45..the worst sight I ever saw.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50No, don't laugh. This is very serious, this.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54This little old lady - there she was, on the beach,
0:30:54 > 0:30:57in the middle of this beach, just there.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59- AUDIENCE:- Ahh! - But it's too late.
0:30:59 > 0:31:00Sounds like sympathy.
0:31:02 > 0:31:07All she had on was a towel. A towel, over her head.
0:31:09 > 0:31:10Not a stitch of clothing on.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22Not a stitch of clothing on. Raining, just a towel over her head.
0:31:22 > 0:31:27I went up to her, said, "Love, love! People can see everything."
0:31:28 > 0:31:31She said, "Don't worry, I'm 75, my hat's brand-new."
0:31:34 > 0:31:38# Oh, the seaside posters round the home
0:31:38 > 0:31:41# Never from our doorstep shall we roam
0:31:41 > 0:31:43# There's Worthing in the cellar
0:31:43 > 0:31:45# Where we keep the bottled stout
0:31:45 > 0:31:49# And Father often goes in there to watch the tide go out
0:31:49 > 0:31:53# We've got pictures of the Isle of Wight along the garden path
0:31:53 > 0:31:56# From Totland Bay to Ventnor's golden shore
0:31:56 > 0:32:00# And when the milkman calls and leaves his cans upon the step
0:32:00 > 0:32:03# You could almost think that Cowes was at the door. #
0:32:04 > 0:32:05Thank you!
0:32:21 > 0:32:25Missum eloquence enhancing
0:32:25 > 0:32:29exotically elegant euphonies.
0:32:29 > 0:32:35For your delectation, Miss Liz Robertson!
0:32:35 > 0:32:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:32:47 > 0:32:49SHE SINGS IN FRENCH
0:34:00 > 0:34:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:34:15 > 0:34:19# Don't be afraid I'll betray you
0:34:19 > 0:34:24# And destroy all the plans you have made
0:34:24 > 0:34:29# But even your dreams must leave room for my schemes
0:34:29 > 0:34:35# So when all I owe to you is paid
0:34:35 > 0:34:40# I'll still have something of my own
0:34:40 > 0:34:44# A little prize that's mine alone
0:34:46 > 0:34:52# I'll follow my secret heart
0:34:52 > 0:34:58# My whole life through
0:34:58 > 0:35:04# I'll keep all my dreams apart
0:35:04 > 0:35:09# Till one comes true
0:35:09 > 0:35:14# No matter what price is paid
0:35:14 > 0:35:22# What stars may fade above
0:35:22 > 0:35:28# I'll follow my secret heart
0:35:28 > 0:35:34# Till I find...
0:35:34 > 0:35:39# ..love. #
0:35:41 > 0:35:43APPLAUSE
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Garrulously...
0:36:00 > 0:36:01..gregarious.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05Ever engagingly endearing.
0:36:05 > 0:36:09My own, your own, everybody's own...
0:36:09 > 0:36:12Arthur Askey!
0:36:12 > 0:36:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:36:26 > 0:36:27Thank you.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Thank you.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41What a lovely reception.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45You've made a happy man feel very old.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48No, that's wrong, wait a minute...
0:36:48 > 0:36:53Anyway, this is the little song that I sang in the pantomime.
0:36:53 > 0:36:54Thank you, Bernard.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56CLEARS THROAT If you don't mind...
0:37:02 > 0:37:05# What's the use of being miserable?
0:37:05 > 0:37:08# What's the use of feeling blue?
0:37:10 > 0:37:14# I'm going to alter all that
0:37:14 > 0:37:16# I'll tell you what we'll do
0:37:18 > 0:37:22# Come on, everybody We're going to sing
0:37:22 > 0:37:25# Louder and louder and louder
0:37:25 > 0:37:26# Oi!
0:37:26 > 0:37:29# Never mind the rafters We'll make them ring
0:37:29 > 0:37:32# Louder and louder and louder
0:37:32 > 0:37:33# Oi!
0:37:33 > 0:37:37# Let's all be jolly girls and boys
0:37:37 > 0:37:41# Open up your throttles and make a noise
0:37:41 > 0:37:45# Come on, everybody We're going to sing
0:37:45 > 0:37:48# Louder and louder and louder
0:37:48 > 0:37:49# Oi! #
0:37:49 > 0:37:51You've got it! That's the idea!
0:37:51 > 0:37:54Now, we'll do it once again, playmates, and I'll do all the work,
0:37:54 > 0:37:57and all I want you to do is what you were doing then.
0:37:57 > 0:38:01Louder and louder and louder... Oi!
0:38:01 > 0:38:03See, like that? It's a good song, isn't it, eh?
0:38:04 > 0:38:07It was sung originally by Harry Louder, so we'll see...
0:38:07 > 0:38:09LAUGHTER
0:38:09 > 0:38:11We'll see how it goes for the second time, are you ready?
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Righto, Bernard!
0:38:14 > 0:38:18# Come on, everybody We're going to sing
0:38:18 > 0:38:21# Louder and louder and louder
0:38:21 > 0:38:22# Oi!
0:38:22 > 0:38:25# Never mind the rafters We'll make them ring
0:38:25 > 0:38:28# Louder and louder and louder
0:38:28 > 0:38:29# Oi!
0:38:29 > 0:38:33# Let's all be jolly girls and boys
0:38:33 > 0:38:37# Open up your throttles and make a noise
0:38:37 > 0:38:40# Come on, everybody We're going to sing
0:38:40 > 0:38:43# Louder and louder and louder
0:38:43 > 0:38:44# Oi!
0:38:46 > 0:38:50# And louder and louder... #
0:38:53 > 0:38:54Thank you!
0:38:54 > 0:38:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:39:03 > 0:39:05Thank you.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Oh! Oh, look at that!
0:39:09 > 0:39:11If I could stoop down, I'd pick those up!
0:39:15 > 0:39:18I'm going to sing you one of my own songs now, playmates,
0:39:18 > 0:39:21not that chorus song. This is one... You remember the old days
0:39:21 > 0:39:24when I used to sing songs about insects or birds?
0:39:24 > 0:39:26- AUDIENCE:- Yes!
0:39:26 > 0:39:28Well, now, tonight I'm going to sing you
0:39:28 > 0:39:30the original of all these silly little songs.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32Guess what it's called. AUDIENCE SHOUTS
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Oh, you can see the music!
0:39:35 > 0:39:36No, The Bee Song.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40D'you know, I sang that at my first command performance,
0:39:40 > 0:39:42and the Queen loved it.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44Prince Albert didn't care for it much,
0:39:44 > 0:39:46but the Queen thought it was fine.
0:39:46 > 0:39:47Anyway, off we go...
0:39:51 > 0:39:53# Bzz-zz-zz!
0:39:53 > 0:39:55# Bzz-zz-zz!
0:39:55 > 0:39:57# Oh, what a glorious thing to be
0:39:57 > 0:40:00# A healthy, grown-up, busy-busy bee
0:40:00 > 0:40:02# Whiling away the passing hours
0:40:02 > 0:40:04# Pinching all the pollen from the cauliflowers
0:40:04 > 0:40:07# I'd like to be a busy-busy bee
0:40:07 > 0:40:09# Being just as busy as a bee can be
0:40:09 > 0:40:11# Flying round the garden, the sweetest ever seen
0:40:11 > 0:40:14# Taking back the honey to the dear old queen
0:40:14 > 0:40:16# Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz Honey bee, honey bee
0:40:16 > 0:40:18# Bzz if you like but don't sting me!
0:40:18 > 0:40:21# Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz Honey bee, honey bee
0:40:21 > 0:40:23# Bzz if you like but don't sting me!
0:40:23 > 0:40:26# Bzz-zz-zz! Bzz... #
0:40:26 > 0:40:28Oh, God... LAUGHTER
0:40:28 > 0:40:30# Oh, what a glorious thing to be
0:40:30 > 0:40:32# A healthy, grown up, busy-busy bee
0:40:32 > 0:40:34# Making hay while time is right
0:40:34 > 0:40:37# Building up the honeycomb just like tripe
0:40:37 > 0:40:39# I'd like to be a busy-busy bee
0:40:39 > 0:40:41# Being just as busy as a bee can be
0:40:41 > 0:40:44# Flying all around the wild hedgerows
0:40:44 > 0:40:46# Stinging all the cows upon the parson's nose
0:40:46 > 0:40:48# Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz Honey bee, honey bee
0:40:48 > 0:40:51# Bzz if you like but don't sting me!
0:40:51 > 0:40:53# Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz, honey... Bzz... #
0:40:53 > 0:40:54Oh, God...
0:40:54 > 0:40:57LAUGHTER
0:40:57 > 0:40:58Silly bee song, innit?
0:41:00 > 0:41:02# Oh, what a glorious thing to be
0:41:02 > 0:41:04# A nice obedient busy-busy bee
0:41:04 > 0:41:07# To be a good bee one must contrive
0:41:07 > 0:41:09# For bees in a beehive must bee-have
0:41:09 > 0:41:12# But maybe I wouldn't be a bee
0:41:12 > 0:41:14# Bees are all right when alive, you see
0:41:14 > 0:41:16# When bees die, you really should see 'em
0:41:16 > 0:41:19# Pinned on a card in a dirty museum
0:41:19 > 0:41:21# Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz Honey bee, honey bee
0:41:21 > 0:41:23# Bzz if you like, don't sting me!
0:41:23 > 0:41:26# Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz, honey bee, honey bee
0:41:26 > 0:41:27# Bzz if you... #
0:41:30 > 0:41:32I must buzz off.
0:41:32 > 0:41:35# Buzz if you like but don't sting me. #
0:41:36 > 0:41:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:00 > 0:42:05Now the songs of Miss Kate Carney, from the Players Theatre
0:42:05 > 0:42:09plus Miss Norma Dunbar!
0:42:09 > 0:42:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:42:24 > 0:42:27# East end, west end
0:42:27 > 0:42:30# All around the town
0:42:30 > 0:42:33# The kids play Ring-a-Rosie
0:42:33 > 0:42:38# London Bridge is falling down!
0:42:38 > 0:42:41# Boys and girls together
0:42:41 > 0:42:45# Me and Charlie Brown
0:42:45 > 0:42:47# Trip the light fantastic
0:42:47 > 0:42:51# On the streets of London town!
0:42:51 > 0:42:55# Good morning, Mr Postman
0:42:55 > 0:42:58# Have you brought any letters for me?
0:42:58 > 0:43:02# Have you brought any letters for me?
0:43:02 > 0:43:06# Cos I'm longing for one, can't you see?
0:43:06 > 0:43:09# If you haven't got one
0:43:09 > 0:43:12# Then I will be very sore
0:43:12 > 0:43:16# Cos me heart goes pitter-patter When I hear your rat-a-tat
0:43:16 > 0:43:20# When you come knocking at me do-ho-hor!
0:43:20 > 0:43:23# When you come knocking at me door
0:43:23 > 0:43:28# For when you're living down in Poverty Street
0:43:28 > 0:43:32- # Down in the street - Nobody knocks at your door
0:43:32 > 0:43:34# Nobody knocks at your door
0:43:34 > 0:43:38# When you're living down in Poverty Street
0:43:38 > 0:43:42- # Down in the street - Folks all know you're poor
0:43:42 > 0:43:44# Lots of folks all know you're poor
0:43:44 > 0:43:49# But when your bit of silver turns into gold
0:43:49 > 0:43:53- # Turns into gold - It drives away all cares
0:43:53 > 0:43:54# Away all cares
0:43:54 > 0:43:59# And then you'll find that everybody's knocking at your door
0:43:59 > 0:44:04# When you're living in Golden Square
0:44:04 > 0:44:09# And then you'll find that everybody's knocking at your door
0:44:09 > 0:44:14# When you're living in Golden Square
0:44:17 > 0:44:20# But when summer comes again
0:44:20 > 0:44:24# And the pretty flowers are growing
0:44:24 > 0:44:27# The sunshine after rain
0:44:27 > 0:44:31# The summer breezes blowing
0:44:31 > 0:44:35# And to roam around the country
0:44:35 > 0:44:39# With a boy that's ever willing
0:44:39 > 0:44:43# I can buy and I can cry
0:44:43 > 0:44:46SHOUTS: # Three pots a shilling
0:44:46 > 0:44:50# I can buy and I can cry
0:44:50 > 0:44:53# Three pots a shilling
0:44:55 > 0:44:59# Now Mr Peter Henry Glue
0:44:59 > 0:45:01# Came staggering home in such a stew
0:45:01 > 0:45:05# When everyone was sleeping in the square
0:45:05 > 0:45:08# What, with the wintry winds that blew
0:45:08 > 0:45:11# And the wines he drunk, his nose was blue
0:45:11 > 0:45:15# As hanging on the knocker he stood there
0:45:15 > 0:45:20# He shouted... "'Annah! I want to come up to bed"
0:45:20 > 0:45:23# When a head poked out of the bedroom window
0:45:23 > 0:45:28# With a nightcap on and said...
0:45:28 > 0:45:31# No use you calling 'Annah!
0:45:31 > 0:45:35# You ain't coming in tonight
0:45:35 > 0:45:39# You can smoke, smoke, smoke on your Havana
0:45:39 > 0:45:42# Smoke till the broad daylight
0:45:42 > 0:45:46# I can tell you been drinking by your manner
0:45:46 > 0:45:50# It's no use you putting on airs
0:45:50 > 0:45:54# If I open the door I feel quite sure
0:45:54 > 0:45:58# You'll never climb the stairs
0:45:58 > 0:46:01# No use you calling 'Annah
0:46:01 > 0:46:04# You ain't coming in tonight
0:46:04 > 0:46:08# You can smoke, smoke, smoke on your Havana
0:46:08 > 0:46:12# Smoke till the broad daylight
0:46:12 > 0:46:15# I can tell you been drinking by your manner
0:46:15 > 0:46:19# It's no use you putting on airs
0:46:19 > 0:46:23# If I open the door I feel quite sure
0:46:23 > 0:46:27# You'll never climb the stairs
0:46:27 > 0:46:30# Liza, you are my donah
0:46:30 > 0:46:34# You are my little peach
0:46:34 > 0:46:37# Meet me down at the fish shop
0:46:37 > 0:46:40# And I will buy you a pen'north of each
0:46:40 > 0:46:41# Lor luv yer
0:46:41 > 0:46:44# No bloke dare come and kiss you
0:46:44 > 0:46:48# Or for him I shall go
0:46:48 > 0:46:51# If I should lose my temper
0:46:51 > 0:46:55# Then it's what ho, Liza Johnson, yes, what ho!
0:46:55 > 0:46:59# Then it's what ho, Liza Johnson, yes, what ho!
0:47:06 > 0:47:10# Three weeks ago, no longer
0:47:10 > 0:47:14# I was as gay as a bird on the wind
0:47:14 > 0:47:18# But since Bill and me have been parted, you know
0:47:18 > 0:47:24# Life is a blank and it's changed everything
0:47:24 > 0:47:29# I saw him out with another that night
0:47:29 > 0:47:33# No-one could guess how I felt at the sight
0:47:33 > 0:47:36# And with tears in my eyes
0:47:36 > 0:47:39# That I tried to keep back
0:47:39 > 0:47:46# I crept to his side and said
0:47:47 > 0:47:53# Are we to part like this, Bill?
0:47:53 > 0:47:57# Are we to part this way?
0:47:58 > 0:48:03# Who's it to be - her or me?
0:48:03 > 0:48:07# Don't be afraid to say
0:48:08 > 0:48:14# If everything's over between us
0:48:14 > 0:48:17# Don't ever pass me by
0:48:18 > 0:48:24# Cos you and me still friends can be
0:48:24 > 0:48:29# For the sake of the days gone by
0:48:30 > 0:48:35# If everything's over between us
0:48:35 > 0:48:40# Don't ever pass me by
0:48:40 > 0:48:47# Cos you and me still friends can be
0:48:47 > 0:48:56# For the sake of the days gone by! #
0:49:00 > 0:49:05APPLAUSE
0:49:13 > 0:49:18Now, there's just time to ask Mr Arthur Askey to lead the company
0:49:18 > 0:49:20and yourselves in the last chorus for tonight,
0:49:20 > 0:49:21Down At The Old Bull And Bush.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Arthur Askey and the entire company,
0:49:24 > 0:49:29Mr Bernard Herrmann and the entire and indefatigable orchestra!
0:49:29 > 0:49:32CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:49:32 > 0:49:36It is time to join in yourself!
0:49:41 > 0:49:44# Come, come, come and make eyes at me
0:49:44 > 0:49:48# Down at The Old Bull and Bush Da-da-da-da-da
0:49:48 > 0:49:52# Come, come, drink some port wine with me
0:49:52 > 0:49:54# Down at The Old Bull and Bush
0:49:55 > 0:49:59# Hear the little German band La-di-da-di-da-da-da
0:49:59 > 0:50:02# Just let me hold your hand, dear
0:50:02 > 0:50:06# Do, do, come and have a drink or two
0:50:06 > 0:50:09# Down at The Old Bull and Bush
0:50:09 > 0:50:11# Bush, Bush! #