:00:28. > :00:37.On the show tonight, Captain Jean- Luc Picard.
:00:37. > :00:47.A brilliant comedian. And a star of Taken. Let's get out of here! Let's
:00:47. > :01:06.
:01:06. > :01:10.Thank you very much. Thank you. You're too kind. Too kind. Welcome
:01:10. > :01:18.everybody. We have got a great show for you this evening. Hollywood
:01:18. > :01:20.great, Liam Neeson is here. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Acting royalty,
:01:20. > :01:26.Sir Patrick Stewart is here. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:01:26. > :01:31.I know. I know. The hilarious, Alan Davies is on the show.
:01:31. > :01:35.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Everyone loves Alan. The fantastic
:01:35. > :01:41.Brit nominated singer, Ed Sheeran is here.
:01:41. > :01:46.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Liam Neeson is here. Now, he is
:01:46. > :01:55.going to be - all right, ladies. One at a time. He is going to be
:01:55. > :01:59.talking about his new film, The Grey. I know. Yes! I'm saying the
:01:59. > :02:05.word, "Grey". LAUGHTER
:02:05. > :02:10.Move. Argh. His new film The Grey all about a
:02:10. > :02:16.group of people trying to to survive in the wilds of Alaska. I'm
:02:16. > :02:20.not an expert Liam, but pop a coat on. Everyone loved Liam in the hit
:02:20. > :02:24.thriller Taken. Such a good film. He play as man hose daughter is
:02:24. > :02:34.kidnapped in Paris. Imagine being a father and hearing that your
:02:34. > :02:38.
:02:38. > :02:41.daughter has disappeared! LAUGHTER
:02:41. > :02:43., ""I have Got a daughter?" Liam's character has to use his CIA skills
:02:43. > :02:47.to make the French people talk. Not always easy, no!
:02:47. > :02:52.LAUGHTER What's that? She is in a box? If
:02:52. > :02:59.the film Liam's daughter was kept in a tiny room with only a hole in
:02:59. > :03:03.the ground for a toilet or as they call it in France en-suite!
:03:03. > :03:11.Mind you, lots of brilliant films have been set in France. Not just
:03:11. > :03:17.Taken, there was Midnight in Paris and the brill want War -- brilliant
:03:17. > :03:24.War Horse. We will have music later on from
:03:24. > :03:34.the one and only, Ed Sheeran. First, it is Alan Davies.
:03:34. > :03:35.
:03:35. > :03:41.Beautiful! Hello sir. I'm very well. Sit
:03:41. > :03:51.yourself down. Sir Patrick Stewart. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:03:51. > :03:58.Very dapper, sir. Looking very smart. Sit yourself down. And
:03:58. > :04:05.release the dragon, it is Liam Neeson. Hill owe sir. Really --
:04:05. > :04:11.hello sir, really nice to meet you. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:04:11. > :04:15.Oh, it is ladies night! Welcome all of you, thank you for
:04:15. > :04:18.coming. I am delighted to be here.
:04:18. > :04:25.Liam you have just flown in from Paris, you are filming in Paris?
:04:25. > :04:30.Yes. You are making Taken 2.
:04:30. > :04:33.Yes, Taken to the cleaners. Does she get taken again? I can't
:04:33. > :04:43.say. That would be unfortunate, you
:04:43. > :04:43.
:04:43. > :04:45.would think, "You stupid cow.". LAUGHTER
:04:45. > :04:47.Like the student travel people would be furious you are making
:04:48. > :04:51.another one, didn't it really hurt American students travelling and
:04:51. > :04:53.things, the first one? It was weird, but so many people came up to me
:04:53. > :04:59.Saying, "Thank you for that film. I am never going to send my daughter
:04:59. > :05:09.or my son to Europe.". But it is not that common that you go on your
:05:09. > :05:11.
:05:11. > :05:13.holidays and get sold into sex slavery. St Patrick begs to differ!
:05:13. > :05:23.LAUGHTER Sir Patrick, I feel we ought to...
:05:23. > :05:27.
:05:27. > :05:29.Patrick. Just Patrick. Just Patrick? Yes.
:05:29. > :05:30.LAUGHTER It is lovely, it is lovely, but it
:05:30. > :05:35.is not required all the time. OK. OK.
:05:35. > :05:45.Thank you. It may slip out sometimes. OK. Oh you mean the Sir
:05:45. > :05:51.Patrick? Yes. Nasty moments! Probably later in
:05:51. > :05:58.the show after 11. LAUGHTER
:05:58. > :06:08.That's the thing you call sir. Hello sir!
:06:08. > :06:19.
:06:20. > :06:22.Arise. LAUGHTER
:06:22. > :06:25.You know, I was going to say Patrick that I feel we ought to
:06:25. > :06:28.issue a warning to the pensioners of South London that in fact the
:06:28. > :06:31.young vic has not been changed into a bingo hall it is the name of your
:06:31. > :06:33.play, Bingo. But it must confuse people there is a flashing sign
:06:33. > :06:36.saying "Bingo.". I can't explain the title. I worked it out for
:06:36. > :06:46.myself what I think it has in relation to the play, but it is a
:06:46. > :06:51.
:06:51. > :06:53.play about the last days of Shakespeare's life. How is he...
:06:53. > :06:55.LAUGHTER And it amuses me the idea of you
:06:55. > :07:00.walking around because you are so recognisable. I love that story,
:07:00. > :07:06.you were in San Francisco and the people recognised you? Yeah. People
:07:06. > :07:13.occasionally get a little confused and I was coming down from the top
:07:13. > :07:18.floor... I thought you were going to say you were coming down in a
:07:18. > :07:25.spaceship. "I was hovering around and you could see me through the
:07:25. > :07:35.porthole.". I could talk about that if you want me to. I got in the
:07:35. > :07:37.elevator and couple came in and they have had a drop or too.
:07:37. > :07:47.LAUGHTER The man said, "Oh my God, oh my God,
:07:47. > :07:47.
:07:47. > :07:49.I can't believe this. This is Dr Spock from Star Wars."
:07:49. > :07:51.LAUGHTER You could see where he was coming
:07:51. > :08:01.from, but every detail was wrong. His wife said, "Honey, no. No, you
:08:01. > :08:02.got it wrong. This is Sir Ben Kingsley.".
:08:02. > :08:07.LAUGHTER Which should I have taken most
:08:07. > :08:17.offence? LAUGHTER
:08:17. > :08:18.
:08:18. > :08:19.Ben Kingsley. LAUGHTER
:08:19. > :08:24.APPLAUSE Now, you are releasing a very
:08:24. > :08:29.exciting, new movie... Yes! Probably a drink taken. In his case,
:08:29. > :08:34.it is not necessary. A new movie, The Grey. It opens nationwide
:08:34. > :08:37.tonight. Yes. Now, I have seen it... Did you
:08:37. > :08:41.see it? I did. Oh good man.
:08:41. > :08:44.It is frightening. I couldn't look at my dogs in the same way. I
:08:44. > :08:49.thought it was more of a horror, but it is more of a thriller.
:08:49. > :08:55.Yes, it crosses a few genre. You are not battling the wolves,
:08:55. > :08:59.you are battling nature. Battling nature and our inner
:08:59. > :09:04.demons and each other. This is real? This is all real. We
:09:04. > :09:08.shot in north-east British Columbia. I don't know if you were up there
:09:08. > :09:12.Patrick, minus 30 degrees Fahrenheit. I remember thinking
:09:12. > :09:16.after the first day's shooting, we're never going to finish this
:09:16. > :09:21.film. The cameras were seizing up and it was tough.
:09:21. > :09:25.I didn't didn't doubt it for a second. It does look cold. They
:09:25. > :09:34.have put together a little montage to give people a flavour of the
:09:34. > :09:39.film. Here we go. There is not a second that goes by
:09:39. > :09:49.when I'm not thinking of you in some way. I want to see your face.
:09:49. > :10:22.
:10:22. > :10:25.All my love for you, take it now. Leave nothing in my heart. Fill me
:10:25. > :10:31.only with what I need to fight. Wow.
:10:31. > :10:37.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It is really good. Really exciting.
:10:37. > :10:44.You feel it. I have to say a lot of the - there
:10:44. > :10:50.is a lot of incredible stunt work in that and it is my buddy and my
:10:50. > :10:56.my stunt double who is is in the audience.
:10:56. > :11:02.Where is he? He will be covered in snow!
:11:02. > :11:06.Did you have to jump off that cliff and things? That was somebody else!
:11:06. > :11:10.We spent a lot of time in the river which was extremely cold.
:11:10. > :11:13.But you had to go in the river too, hadn't you? Yes, but he went in
:11:13. > :11:17.first to test the waters so to speak.
:11:17. > :11:20.Because when you are lying in the snow in your jumper or you are
:11:20. > :11:25.stood in the river, that's just Liam Neeson very cold. No, but you
:11:25. > :11:32.have layers of stuff on. You would die otherwise, you know. We used to
:11:32. > :11:33.joke about going out for a pee-pee and it being...
:11:33. > :11:38.LAUGHTER It was almost that cold.
:11:38. > :11:43.What about the wolves? Are there any real wolves in the film? There
:11:43. > :11:50.is a little sequence of them running. We shot with so-called
:11:50. > :11:55.trained wolves, but they can't be train. Just let them go.
:11:55. > :12:05.Many puppets and huge big puppets and three people people operating
:12:05. > :12:14.
:12:14. > :12:16.their heads and stuff. Not a little one on a stick!
:12:16. > :12:18.LAUGHTER You have had to do cold agenting in
:12:18. > :12:24.your time, haven't you Alan? This is true, when I was auditioning to
:12:24. > :12:27.go to university to try and do drama courses, they said, "It is
:12:27. > :12:31.snowing." I thought OK. LAUGHTER
:12:31. > :12:39.It is really snowing. There is a blizzard, it is blowing in your
:12:39. > :12:49.face so I started squinting. When we did actual snow in Jonathan
:12:49. > :12:52.Creek, we had an episode set in snow. Scream snow.
:12:52. > :12:57.They sprayed the snow and it was September in a field and they
:12:57. > :13:01.sprayed it on a field and when they wanted it to snow, they had a white
:13:01. > :13:04.thing which was a snow can and they lit it and the snow blows and it
:13:04. > :13:12.gets stuck in your hair and you have to do a lot of takes. So there
:13:12. > :13:19.is no need for any of that! LAUGHTER
:13:19. > :13:22.I am sorry, Liam. LAUGHTER
:13:22. > :13:32.It is true though because you did go to more trouble than you needed
:13:32. > :13:34.
:13:34. > :13:35.to? But you can't act that stuff, forgive me Al!
:13:35. > :13:38.LAUGHTER There was an emphasis on the, "You
:13:38. > :13:41."there. I want to know did you get on to
:13:42. > :13:45.the course, this auditioning? received an offer. I was afraid of
:13:45. > :13:50.the other candidates. Did you not go? I didn't go.
:13:50. > :13:54.It must be difficult if you are you are doing something like Star Trek,
:13:54. > :14:04.it is the opposite, nothing is real, the planets, the aliens, you know,
:14:04. > :14:07.you are constantly... You must get this all the time. So naive!
:14:07. > :14:13.In Star Trek, you must have a lot of time where you are reagenting to
:14:13. > :14:23.things that -- reacting to things that aren't there? I am sorry.
:14:23. > :14:25.
:14:25. > :14:29.I am not destroying dreams? Most of the time the aliens are not there.
:14:29. > :14:33.They have to phone their agents. You have to shoot it without them,
:14:33. > :14:40.Patrick. I did say, "Most of the time."
:14:40. > :14:49.of them are knighted! So you got a white disc with a
:14:49. > :14:59.cross on it and that's what you are agenting with and we had a script
:14:59. > :15:02.
:15:02. > :15:08.superviser so-called Cos -- cosmo and Cos Mo would read the script.
:15:08. > :15:14.You would read them from the big chair? Sometimes mixing it up.
:15:14. > :15:21.I fell asleep in the middle of a close-up once. I dosed off. This
:15:21. > :15:24.alien, he was very... Boring. LAUGHTER
:15:24. > :15:28.Boring and verbose. You met them, haven't you? I hate
:15:28. > :15:37.those sort of aliens. It was a long, long speech and it
:15:37. > :15:38.was 2am or 3am and... LAUGHTER
:15:38. > :15:44.It is somewhere in the vaults of Paramount.
:15:44. > :15:49.It would have been hilarious cutting back to Captain Jean-Luc
:15:49. > :15:54.Picard. "wake me up when he has finished.". Liam, you had a long
:15:54. > :15:58.and successful career. A couple of films have changed things like
:15:58. > :16:07.Schindler's List brought you to a whole new level and the Oscar
:16:07. > :16:11.nomination and all of that? Yes. That's me with Sir Patrick Stewart
:16:11. > :16:19.there. Oh yes.
:16:19. > :16:23.You are marvellous this in that that Sir Patrick. And then Taken.
:16:23. > :16:29.That did sort of put your career in a whole different direction, didn't
:16:29. > :16:33.it? Yes it did. I was 55 years of age and it came my way and it was,
:16:33. > :16:41.I thought it was a straight to video thing. A straight to video
:16:41. > :16:46.movie and it was three months in Paris so I took it and it was
:16:46. > :16:53.successful. You say successful. It has taken
:16:53. > :17:01.over a quarter afbillion dollars -- of a billion dollars. Seriously.
:17:01. > :17:06.Hence she has gone missing again! LAUGHTER
:17:06. > :17:10.I gave her away this time! Have her. Please take her!
:17:10. > :17:14.Taken is one of those films where one speech becomes legendary and
:17:14. > :17:20.even on the poster, they use the speech, the one with you on the
:17:20. > :17:25.phone. "I don't know who you are." Do you get loads of fans coming up
:17:25. > :17:30.and asking you to say that? Occasionally. My eldest boy is at
:17:30. > :17:37.boarding school and he sometimes calls up and says, "Dad, can you
:17:37. > :17:40.leave a message on Charlie's message?". Do you? Oh yeah, I do.
:17:40. > :17:44.You do? I can never remember the words.
:17:44. > :17:49.We have a special lady in the audience and her name is Jo. Where
:17:49. > :17:58.is Jo? Oh, there is Jo. You don't know Jo, I don't think.
:17:58. > :18:08.But she claims to be... Oh God. LAUGHTER
:18:08. > :18:09.
:18:09. > :18:14.Daughter? Lover? Good game. Good game. She is your first fan. Why do
:18:14. > :18:18.you think you are his first fan? saw Liam acting in a mini series
:18:18. > :18:23.nearly 30 years and I wrote you a fan letter and you sent me back a
:18:23. > :18:28.signed photo and a letter saying it was your first ever fan letter and
:18:28. > :18:33.I have got it here. APPLAUSE
:18:33. > :18:43.What did he say? He says, "Thanks for your charming letter.". I will
:18:43. > :18:47.
:18:47. > :18:49.stop you there. LAUGHTER
:18:49. > :18:54.Listen, weirdly, because it is like like channelling your son, Jo said
:18:54. > :18:56.she would like you to do something for her.
:18:56. > :18:57.LAUGHTER Now, so she wants, would you leave
:18:57. > :19:03.an answer phone greeting on her phone? Sure, yeah.
:19:03. > :19:13.Would you? She sent us in your number. So I call, your phone is
:19:13. > :19:14.
:19:14. > :19:20.off, right? Otherwise that would be annoying and stupid!
:19:20. > :19:22.907777... LAUGHTER
:19:22. > :19:29.A lot of people will call up to hear this!
:19:29. > :19:34.OK. This should be ringing. This is Jo, please leave a message.
:19:34. > :19:42.Please enter wur PIN followed -- your PIN followed by the hash key.
:19:42. > :19:46.You are at The O2 greetings and mail box menu. To listen to your
:19:46. > :19:51.messages. Please record your personal greeting. To end recording
:19:51. > :19:56.key zero. Press zero and you read that and
:19:56. > :19:59.press zero. Show me where zero is.
:19:59. > :20:05.Zero is that one. I start? Yeah.
:20:05. > :20:15.I don't know who you are, but if you don't let my daughter go now, I
:20:15. > :20:16.
:20:16. > :20:22.will find you. I will kill you. Please leave a message.
:20:22. > :20:28.Let's see if it worked. Hang on. Hang on.
:20:28. > :20:31.Let's just call it back and see if it was successful.
:20:31. > :20:40.90777... LAUGHTER
:20:40. > :20:43.7. There is so many sevens! I don't know who you are, but if
:20:43. > :20:51.you don't let my daughter go now, I will find you, I will kill you.
:20:51. > :20:57.Please leave a message. Please leave your message after the
:20:57. > :21:01.tone. To rerecord your message, key hash at any time. Hi, it is Alan
:21:01. > :21:06.Davies here. If you have got my daughter, she is two, you can keep
:21:06. > :21:09.her. LAUGHTER
:21:09. > :21:19.I'm going on tour to get away from her. She is a nightmare and she has
:21:19. > :21:24.
:21:24. > :21:28.also got chickenpox. Good luck! APPLAUSE
:21:28. > :21:34.Right, now, I like saying the Sir Patrick Stewart. Say it. Say it!
:21:34. > :21:42.It must sound lovely to you. It was only June 2010 it happened? Yes.
:21:42. > :21:45.Was The Queen a fan of X-Men or Star Trek? We didn't go there!
:21:45. > :21:49.But she was very pleasant. What was extraordinary and I would like to
:21:50. > :21:53.attend one of these ceremonies again sometime to see what happens
:21:53. > :21:57.because there is a little thing you kneel down on and fortunately a
:21:57. > :22:01.little hand grip to hold on to get down and up without falling over
:22:01. > :22:03.because that's the only fear you have because there is one point you
:22:03. > :22:07.have to walk backwards, the fear is you fall over.
:22:07. > :22:10.Yes. There she was in front of me and I
:22:10. > :22:18.knelt down and I looked up and there was this sword in her hand
:22:18. > :22:21.and I don't know where it came from. LAUGHTER
:22:21. > :22:22.She didn't have it moments earlier and then there it was, it was like
:22:22. > :22:30.the Sabre, the light Sabre. LAUGHTER
:22:30. > :22:35.Yes. It was like Wolverine.
:22:35. > :22:38.That might be part of the Royal prerogative that they have knees
:22:38. > :22:43.skills that we don't know anything about.
:22:43. > :22:48.I am sure she is safe, but she seems to be elderly to be in charge
:22:48. > :22:54.of a heavy sword. If she fell off that step...
:22:54. > :22:56.LAUGHTER Look... A great way to go.
:22:56. > :23:01.LAUGHTER If you want to go! She was on her
:23:01. > :23:08.feet for over an hour and spoke personally, privately with each
:23:08. > :23:13.individual that went up there and it was an extraordinary performance
:23:13. > :23:18.and full of style and elegance and grace. Your play opens on 16th
:23:18. > :23:22.February at the Young Vic and it is about the last days of Shakespeare
:23:22. > :23:27.and you have played it, is it four times now? It will be four times.
:23:27. > :23:31.Two productions, but four times. I did it in 1979 in Stratford. I
:23:31. > :23:38.think it is one of the most important and one of the most
:23:38. > :23:42.brilliant plays of mid-20th century dramatic English writing. It is
:23:42. > :23:47.about Shakespeare, but it is an unconventional and unexpected view
:23:47. > :23:51.of what our great dramatist's life may have been like during those
:23:51. > :23:54.last few days. 35 years ago... Too young.
:23:54. > :24:00.Much too young. That's one of the reasons why.
:24:00. > :24:07.Doing it now, you think, "What the hell was I doing 35 years ago?"
:24:07. > :24:10.High a different view of what this man might be and having done more
:24:10. > :24:15.Shakespeare and played the grown-up roles has made a difference for me.
:24:15. > :24:19.It is like you are in reverse because here you are a leading man,
:24:19. > :24:23.you look great, you know, you are getting these fabulous roles, but
:24:23. > :24:29.35 years ago, people must have thought you were older than you
:24:29. > :24:38.were so... I was always older than I was. When I was 16... Excuse me,
:24:38. > :24:46.Patrick. We were in a film together called Excalibre 32 years ago. He
:24:46. > :24:49.looks exactly the same. LAUGHTER
:24:49. > :24:55.You looked terrible 32 years ago? was never a juvenile, ever a
:24:55. > :24:57.juvenile. When did this happen?
:24:57. > :24:58.LAUGHTER You can use the words, it is all
:24:58. > :25:05.right to do that. Yeah.
:25:05. > :25:08.When did I go bald? I mean I'm sitting next to these
:25:08. > :25:15.incredible... But opposite me, so you're fine.
:25:15. > :25:19.I was 19 and it went in a matter of months. Wow. It fell out, it was my
:25:19. > :25:23.last year at drama school and I thought everything was over. I did
:25:23. > :25:27.spend more money than I could afford on treatments, but nothing,
:25:27. > :25:32.a waste of time. I wore caps all the time. I wore a lot of wigs on
:25:32. > :25:37.stage. High a hair piece, a good hair piece made that I would wear
:25:37. > :25:45.for auditions and occasionally for roles on stage and I developed yes,
:25:45. > :25:52.a comb over! A really kind of Donald Trump comb
:25:52. > :26:02.over. LAUGHTER
:26:02. > :26:03.
:26:03. > :26:06.So the problem is that, you know. LAUGHTER
:26:06. > :26:09.Your hair goes with it.. All those situations you have got to avoid
:26:09. > :26:12.and it is limiting in your life. Now you are like the poster boy for
:26:12. > :26:14.bald people? LAUGHTER
:26:14. > :26:14.LAUGHTER It
:26:14. > :26:15.It is
:26:15. > :26:15.It is true.
:26:15. > :26:19.It is true. You
:26:19. > :26:24.It is true. You can see it written on my tombstone, "You are the
:26:24. > :26:28.poster boy." When I was working at the Barbican, I was walking across
:26:28. > :26:34.a rain swept square, one of those public places. A guy walked past me
:26:34. > :26:40.with a hat on and an umbrella and I was walking along bare headed and
:26:40. > :26:44.suddenly I heard my name called, "Mr Stuart." He lifted up the
:26:44. > :26:54.umbrella and he took off the hat and he was as bald as me and he
:26:54. > :26:55.
:26:55. > :27:04.said, "On behalf of all the bald men in the world, thank you."
:27:04. > :27:08.But I have been looking at Wayne Rooney and I am - it is superb.
:27:08. > :27:11.LAUGHTER Isn't it? It is superb? I am not
:27:11. > :27:20.sure superb is the word. I'm wondering about going down that
:27:20. > :27:30.road. Do it!
:27:30. > :27:31.
:27:32. > :27:35.I might get some dates. As if you need the help!
:27:35. > :27:41.LAUGHTER Not a word. Not a word. We think of
:27:41. > :27:51.you as a serious Shakespeare actor, you love a bit of low brow as well,
:27:51. > :27:54.
:27:54. > :27:58.you are a huge bee Beavis and Butthead fan. Yes.
:27:58. > :28:01.Can you do a live action thing, the two of you on tour? Hey.
:28:02. > :28:05.Yes. LAUGHTER
:28:05. > :28:13.Remember you heard it here first. LAUGHTER
:28:13. > :28:23.It is not a bad idea. The older Beavis and Butthead.
:28:23. > :28:29.
:28:29. > :28:33.The bald Beavis and B utthead. He had to go there.
:28:33. > :28:38.Beavis and Baldhead. A limp applause. It was better than
:28:38. > :28:44.a boo. You know why, they knew that hurt.
:28:44. > :28:48.Alan, I'm excited because you are back on tour with a new show called
:28:48. > :28:57.Life is Pain. I am going on tour later this year.
:28:57. > :29:02.The tickets go on sale this week. APPLAUSE
:29:02. > :29:05.I'm very pleased. We start in September and I am going to tour up
:29:05. > :29:14.until Christmas. You have done this tour in
:29:14. > :29:16.Australia? We went out to Australia and we did QI Live. We did QI with
:29:16. > :29:21.Australian comedians and I did a stand-up tour and it was great.
:29:21. > :29:27.Really good fun. I loved it. I used to tire of hotels, I found it
:29:27. > :29:34.boring, when I was a stand-up, when I started, you are in comedy clubs
:29:34. > :29:37.and there is cam rad there is camaraderie and laughs. Now, I have
:29:37. > :29:44.got small children and I am always exhausted, I really like being on
:29:44. > :29:46.my own! LAUGHTER
:29:46. > :29:49.That provides about half of the material for this show. Yeah, I'm
:29:49. > :29:54.doing that in and around the UK and going to Ireland. When you toured
:29:54. > :29:58.Australia, they all came with you, didn't they? We all flew out. It
:29:58. > :30:01.was horrendous the flight. It was horrendous flying back. Being in
:30:01. > :30:06.Australia was fantastic and I loved it, but they didn't come round to
:30:06. > :30:10.the gigs. We did take my daughter, we took her in because my wife was
:30:10. > :30:16.going to watch one of the recordings, we thought we will go
:30:16. > :30:23.in and sit in a box and see if she can tolerate the noise, we had the
:30:23. > :30:33.klaxon noise noise for me when I get it wrong. So the speaker was
:30:33. > :30:36.
:30:36. > :30:42.next to the box and they did a test run and she almost she she almost
:30:42. > :30:47.crapped herself. "I don't like the show. I don't like the show." she
:30:47. > :30:53.has chickenpox and the cleaner came in on Monday and she opened the
:30:53. > :30:56.door and she went, "I have got chickenpox." Not knowing at that
:30:56. > :31:01.point it was going to be a desperately grim experience.
:31:01. > :31:08.It is 12 years since you you you haven't been back.
:31:08. > :31:11.The last year I toured the UK was 1999. The years went by and I was
:31:11. > :31:15.doing other things and it just stopped somehow.
:31:15. > :31:25.Liam, you are going to give action movies another 18 months, it seems
:31:25. > :31:26.
:31:26. > :31:29.a tight window? Maybe 18 months. The knees are starting to play up.
:31:29. > :31:38.LAUGHTER Mark can do the running. 18 months.
:31:38. > :31:43.Yes. That could work out nicely for He could be in Taken 3.
:31:43. > :31:48.Where is she? You can be be taken and he can find you.
:31:48. > :31:58.I should really write some of this down. We might remember it all.
:31:58. > :31:59.
:31:59. > :32:03.can just say, "Resistance is futile."
:32:03. > :32:10.Now it is exciting to have two stars, it is very rare to have two
:32:10. > :32:16.stars from such big science fiction fan classes. And there is more of
:32:16. > :32:19.the sentence coming. Yes. Alan wasn't in Star Trek or Star
:32:19. > :32:22.Wars. I wasn't asked to be in anything of
:32:22. > :32:26.that nature. Did either of you have doubts to
:32:26. > :32:36.saying yes to the big franchises which could have wrecked your life
:32:36. > :32:41.
:32:41. > :32:47.ins a way? No. Speaking for myself, it was great being in the episode
:32:47. > :32:51.before star wrs. Star Wars. What about you Patrick? I didn't
:32:51. > :32:55.understand when you sign a contract in the United States, you sign for
:32:55. > :33:03.a minimum of six years. When my agent explained it, I said, "I
:33:03. > :33:07.can't do that. I can't sign away six years." He said, "Don't worry,
:33:07. > :33:13.it will never make it that long. You will be lucky to make it
:33:13. > :33:18.through the first season." I talked to a handful of people in Hollywood
:33:18. > :33:23.and they said it won't work. Come over a make a little bit of money
:33:23. > :33:29.for the first time in your life and get a suntan and meet some girls
:33:30. > :33:35.and go home! And seven years and then what eight more years and four
:33:35. > :33:44.movies later I was still there. can't decide which I prefer. Which
:33:44. > :33:52.do you prefer? Anyway we thought we could see who
:33:52. > :33:59.comes out best in the Battle of the Action Figures. This is Liam's.
:33:59. > :34:09.Then We have also got... Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Size isn't
:34:09. > :34:10.
:34:10. > :34:12.everything! LAUGHTER
:34:12. > :34:15.It has no legs. . It is exciting bus there is a
:34:15. > :34:24.lighting -- because there is a lighting thing. Your money box...
:34:24. > :34:34.It is coin operated. OK. I sense a disturbance in the
:34:34. > :34:40.
:34:40. > :34:50.LAUGHTER May the Force be with you!
:34:50. > :35:03.
:35:04. > :35:13.Wow. And that's one and this is Captain
:35:13. > :35:21.Jean-Luc Picard. LAUGHTER
:35:21. > :35:23.That's it? Yes. LAUGHTER
:35:23. > :35:33.At least do it again! ? All right, I will. It probably
:35:33. > :35:47.
:35:47. > :35:50.APPLAUSE Well, here is something to help you
:35:50. > :35:52.all feel young and in touch with the kids because it is music time.
:35:52. > :35:55.Before we have tonight's stories in the red chair. Let's meet a man had
:35:55. > :35:59.is just 28 years old and has four Brit nomination and the biggest
:35:59. > :36:09.selling debut album of the past ten years, performing his new single,
:36:09. > :36:12.
:36:12. > :36:14.years, performing his new single, # I wanna be drunk when I wake up
:36:14. > :36:18.Will # On the right side of the wrong bed
:36:18. > :36:25.# And every excuse I made up # Tell you the truth I hate
:36:25. > :36:29.# What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all
:36:29. > :36:31.# Love will scar your makeup lip stick to me
:36:31. > :36:36.# So now I'll maybe leave back there
:36:36. > :36:44.# I'm sat here, wishing I was sober # I know I'll never hold you like I
:36:44. > :36:48.used to # But our house gets cold when you
:36:48. > :36:51.cut the heating # Without you to hold I'll be
:36:51. > :36:53.freezing # Can't rely on my heart to beat it
:36:53. > :36:55.# Cause you take part of it every evening
:36:55. > :36:58.# Take words out of my mouth just from breathing
:36:58. > :37:07.# Replace with phrases like 'when you leaving me
:37:07. > :37:16.# Should I, Should I # Maybe I'll get drunk, again
:37:16. > :37:19.# I'll be drunk, again, I'll be drunk, again
:37:19. > :37:21.# To feel a little love # I wanna hold your heart in both
:37:21. > :37:24.hands # I'll watch it fizzle at the
:37:24. > :37:27.bottom of a coke can # And I've got no plans for the
:37:27. > :37:29.weekend # So should we speak then? Keep it
:37:29. > :37:36.between friends # Though I know you'll never love
:37:36. > :37:39.me, like you used to # And maybe other people like us
:37:39. > :37:43.# Will see the flicker of the clipper when they light us
:37:43. > :37:52.# Flames just create us, burns don't heal like before
:37:52. > :37:56.# You don't hold me anymore # On cold days Coldplay's out like
:37:56. > :37:59.the band's the name # I know I can't heal things with a
:37:59. > :38:01.handshake # You know I can change, as I began
:38:01. > :38:03.saying # You cut me wide open like a
:38:03. > :38:05.landscape # Open bottles of beer but never
:38:05. > :38:08.champagne # I'm here to applaud you with the
:38:08. > :38:18.sound that my hands make # Should I? Should I?
:38:18. > :38:22.
:38:22. > :38:32.# Maybe I'll get drunk, again # I'll be drunk again
:38:32. > :38:42.
:38:42. > :38:45.# All by myself # I'm here again
:38:45. > :38:55.# All by myself # You know I'll never change
:38:55. > :39:02.
:39:02. > :39:12.# All by myself # I'm just drunk, again
:39:12. > :39:26.
:39:26. > :39:34.# I'll be drunk, again CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:39:34. > :39:39.Beautiful. Mr Ed Sheeran, everybody. Thank you very much for that.
:39:39. > :39:47.Fantastic. Come and have a seat. Sit yourself down there. There is
:39:47. > :39:50.Alan, Patrick, Liam, Mr Ed Sheeran. Very good. Of course, that is the
:39:50. > :39:57.new single off the album which is in shops if you can find one and
:39:58. > :40:02.you can download it now. You say plus, do you? It is a positive sign
:40:02. > :40:05.or addition. LAUGHTER
:40:05. > :40:08.Good options Liam, you can call it what you like!
:40:08. > :40:14.Patrick has done everything. Is that a particularly small guitar.
:40:14. > :40:21.Yeah, it is a half-size. I see. I won it in a competition and I
:40:21. > :40:24.bought another one and I have four, Nigel, Lloyd, Felix and Cyril.
:40:24. > :40:34.Who is that? That is Nigel. He was great.
:40:34. > :40:39.Haven't you got tiny hands?? Yes. He has tiny tiny hands.
:40:39. > :40:44.Big feet. Brits are in about a month. Yes.
:40:45. > :40:46.Are you coming? Hello. No. Have a fantastic night and good luck with
:40:46. > :40:50.them. Thank you.
:40:50. > :40:53.Very good. Before we go, we have got time for the red chair. Who is
:40:53. > :40:58.up first? Hello. Hello.
:40:58. > :41:05.Hi. You seem a little nervous? What's your name? Sue.
:41:05. > :41:09.Sue. Where are you from? Farn ham in Surrey.
:41:09. > :41:14.She is from Farnham in Surrey, everyone.
:41:14. > :41:24.They don't care, Sue. We had recently seeded a new lawn
:41:24. > :41:26.
:41:26. > :41:34.and... Sue, Sue, that is one of the worst beginnings in a story ever.,
:41:34. > :41:40.""We Had recently seeded a new lawn." You have Farnham in Surrey
:41:40. > :41:45.written all over you Sue. OK. OK. You have seed add new lawn.
:41:45. > :41:55.Got up one morning, opened the curtains and there were all these
:41:55. > :41:55.
:41:55. > :41:57.pigeons eating the seeds. So I opened the window...
:41:57. > :42:01.LAUGHTER Leaned right out and went, "Shoe.
:42:01. > :42:08.Shoe." Then I saw nigh next door neighbour. -- my next door
:42:08. > :42:16.neighbour, he looked up and I looked down and I thought, "Naked
:42:16. > :42:20.breasts." LAUGHTER
:42:20. > :42:25.It was a terrible story. We We thought it had to go somewhere.
:42:25. > :42:29.I think it might have been a metaphor that story! The pigeons,
:42:29. > :42:36.the seed, the man looking in, you know... Yes.
:42:36. > :42:41.If that had been a film it could have won an Academy Award.
:42:41. > :42:44.Not Sue from Farnham. Gl one
:42:44. > :42:54.-- one more. Hello, we have high hopes for you, what's your name?
:42:54. > :42:55.
:42:55. > :43:05.Sarah. What's your your job? Cabin crew.
:43:05. > :43:10.
:43:10. > :43:11.Sarah, Sarah, on a shuttle, not Sue. Sue was from Farnham!
:43:11. > :43:13.LAUGHTER It is It is riding on you sar
:43:13. > :43:17.ration this better -- Sarah, this better be good.
:43:17. > :43:23.Know when you are really tired and you take your chair off at once and
:43:23. > :43:28.I put them on the chair. I thought my jeans were all right. I went to
:43:28. > :43:32.see my mum and dad. I went to the petrol station and I finished
:43:32. > :43:38.filling up when this man bent down and picked up something and as it
:43:38. > :43:47.went into the hands we both realised what it was and it was my
:43:47. > :43:51.knickers! A sweet story. Well done, Sarah.
:43:51. > :43:55.On. All right, everybody. Thank you very much. If you want to have a go
:43:55. > :44:03.in the red chair, you can contact us via the website and at this
:44:03. > :44:05.address. Thank you to my guests tonight, Ed Sheeran. Alan Davies,