:00:12. > :00:14.This programme contains strong language. On the show tonight. A
:00:14. > :00:16.movie star who started out on Channel Four. Shameless.
:00:16. > :00:19.The star behind Patsy Stone. Fabulous.
:00:19. > :00:21.A top stand-up comic. Hilarious.
:00:21. > :00:31.And from Strictly Come Dancing, Nancy Dell'Olio.
:00:31. > :00:54.
:00:54. > :01:04.Hello and welcome to the show. We've got a great line-up this week.
:01:04. > :01:07.
:01:07. > :01:10.Hollywood star James McAvoy is here. APPLAUSE.
:01:10. > :01:12.James is currently starring in a new animated film about to be
:01:12. > :01:18.released called Arthur Christmas, where he plays Santa's son. That's
:01:18. > :01:26.Arthur, and this is his grand-dad, Santa senior. I think I know where
:01:26. > :01:36.they got the inspiration for that shot. James also starred in The
:01:36. > :01:36.
:01:36. > :01:40.Last King of Scotland. One of James' most famous roles was as Mr
:01:40. > :01:50.Tumness in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Where did I last see
:01:50. > :01:57.
:01:57. > :02:07.legs like that? She doesn't need some toilet paper on her Sue! Also,
:02:07. > :02:09.
:02:09. > :02:12.the gorgeous Joanna Lumley will be here! She's currently filming a
:02:12. > :02:14.Christmas special of Ab Fab, where she plays Patsy Stone. Patsy is
:02:14. > :02:20.such an amazing caricature, a blonde bimbo who'll shag anything.
:02:20. > :02:30.I bet she's never met anyone like that in real life. I think that's a
:02:30. > :02:32.
:02:32. > :02:36.can of Mace in her hands. Also joining us tonight, top comic John
:02:36. > :02:38.Bishop is on the show. His show John Bishop's Britain is a Saturday
:02:38. > :02:42.night favorite - though at the moment Saturday's all about
:02:42. > :02:45.Strictly and X Factor. Everyone watching? I'm loving Strictly, and
:02:45. > :02:52.there's someone on it this year that we've made the occasional joke
:02:52. > :03:02.about. She obviously doesn't watch this show because she's agreed to
:03:02. > :03:09.
:03:09. > :03:12.come on. Yes, Nancy Dell'Olio will be popping in later. Nancy's
:03:12. > :03:16.performances have been panned by the judges. But someone must be
:03:16. > :03:26.phoning to keep her in every week. It's been a long time since she's
:03:26. > :03:30.
:03:30. > :03:34.had an Eriksson that close to her mouth. Let's get some guests on.
:03:34. > :03:40.Later we'll be having music from Arctic Monkeys. But first, my
:03:40. > :03:45.prayers have been answered, it's John Bishop.
:03:45. > :03:51.APPLAUSE. She's posh and I'm privileged she's
:03:51. > :03:56.here, it's Joanna Lumley. APPLAUSE.
:03:56. > :04:06.And my Christmas has come early. It's the star of Arthur Christmas,
:04:06. > :04:20.
:04:20. > :04:28.James McAvoy. We all just stood out verse saying,
:04:28. > :04:32.how are you? Backstage it was hello, this is Joanna, this is johns.
:04:32. > :04:36.Really you just want to stand there Dr Ahmad Khaled Abdel Aziz then we
:04:36. > :04:44.come on and you are cheering. honest, I thought we were all
:04:44. > :04:51.getting on quite well! I am back stage with two fabulous actors and
:04:51. > :04:58.I am thinking, none of them like me. I appreciate you all coming because
:04:58. > :05:06.I know you are busy. Were you filming today? No, not today. We
:05:06. > :05:12.are in the middle of it all. We are making a film for Danny Boyle.
:05:12. > :05:20.There you are. Where did you get that? I don't know. Top secret
:05:20. > :05:25.stuff. The internet. It is going well. I am thrilled you are in a
:05:25. > :05:32.film directed by Danny Boyle, shouldn't he be getting ready for
:05:32. > :05:36.the Olympics, having ladies dancing with umbrellas. I think that's
:05:36. > :05:45.photograph is a picture of the opening ceremony. It is more
:05:45. > :05:52.reflective of London right now. Someone walking around being mauled.
:05:52. > :06:00.They should be running round to Benny Hill music. On my stag night,
:06:00. > :06:09.we got a taxi from Camden to Parliament Hill. There was about 10
:06:09. > :06:14.or 20 of us. The taxi got it me out and said, do you want to treat?
:06:14. > :06:19.These speakers came out of his car and he played the Benny Hill music
:06:19. > :06:25.and we chased each other around the park for about 10 minutes. He was
:06:25. > :06:30.the guide chasing us. Or we were all the girls. Then he drove away
:06:30. > :06:36.in his car with the Benny Hill blurring. How fantastic. The
:06:36. > :06:42.Olympics, am I supposed to know this? The new Ab Fab, one of them
:06:42. > :06:47.is based around the Olympics? has an Olympic team. I don't want
:06:47. > :06:54.to talk about Ab Fab too much because Jennifer Saunders is coming
:06:54. > :07:00.on in a few weeks. OK! When you went to make it, was it easy to be
:07:00. > :07:06.Patsy Stone again? It was strange, because we started off with
:07:06. > :07:11.Jennifer, Julia, Jayne and Joanna. Nobody looks any different, except
:07:11. > :07:16.for June Whitfield who looks a bit younger. Then we had everyone else
:07:16. > :07:21.who had been in it, husbands and people working on the magazines. It
:07:21. > :07:27.was fantastic. The script is fantastic. It has moved forward, we
:07:27. > :07:37.are not doing them from 1991. In the a doing it from today. So it
:07:37. > :07:42.
:07:42. > :07:48.has changed a lot? Merry little. -- very little. Ab Fab with an iPod.
:07:48. > :07:55.You have had an amazing year. The last time I saw you who are were in
:07:55. > :08:05.X-Men First Class. It went ballistic. It went really well. But
:08:05. > :08:11.I felt I was the one who did not get to do any stunts. Everybody
:08:11. > :08:18.else can like Benn's your shoes with their minds and stuff, I just
:08:18. > :08:25.go, do you want a cup of tea? were just persuasive, that is your
:08:25. > :08:35.power? Not only do I know that it you want a cup of tea, I can make
:08:35. > :08:36.
:08:36. > :08:46.you make me a cup of tea as well. So you are just a wife! He is not
:08:46. > :08:52.touching that. I can see the next film with him in rollers and an
:08:52. > :09:02.apron, make me a cup of tea. have to beef up for these films?
:09:02. > :09:04.
:09:04. > :09:09.The first time I ever did it. I beefed up for a thing and that it
:09:09. > :09:19.was a bit weird. Eating too much meat and drinking too much protein
:09:19. > :09:19.
:09:19. > :09:23.drinks. Protein shakes are not good for you? They need you onset
:09:23. > :09:30.shooting a scene for three days which is fine. But they need to get
:09:30. > :09:34.this protein out a deal and it comes out as flatulence. So you are
:09:34. > :09:39.stuck in a car for three days and during these three days, Angelina
:09:39. > :09:44.Jolie is in the car with two! In the end you have to say, it is not
:09:44. > :09:49.my fault you have just got in this car, my protein drink has just said
:09:49. > :09:55.hello. How is Brad Pitt and the kids by the way? Was she all right
:09:55. > :10:03.about it? She was great, she has a good sense of humour and a terrible
:10:03. > :10:08.sense of smell. As an actor, we all envy your figure. Do you have a
:10:08. > :10:15.regime? I don't, but I probably don't eat as much as other people
:10:15. > :10:20.because I don't have breakfast and I never have lunch! You don't eat
:10:20. > :10:27.as much as much people. If I had a good breakfast, I would be ready
:10:27. > :10:31.for a snack at 11 am. Meant for a three-course lunch, ready for tea
:10:31. > :10:38.and then an enormous dinner. I have very low blood pressure, so as soon
:10:38. > :10:41.as I eat something I have to go straight to sleep. So I usually eat
:10:41. > :10:51.massively in the evening and go straight to sleep. You are very
:10:51. > :10:57.cheap Date! James, this is a bit depressing this new film? It is the
:10:57. > :11:03.first Christmas film of the season. Are we the first? You are the first.
:11:03. > :11:07.Be it is very good, that's all you need to know. It is a kid's moody
:11:07. > :11:12.but it is a smart, funny kids' movie. Parents can take their kids
:11:12. > :11:19.to this and be all right. I laughed out loud quite a few times. It is
:11:19. > :11:25.the people that made a Wallace and Gromit atman studios. They have got
:11:25. > :11:32.into bed with America and hooked up with Sony. They are doing a big 3D
:11:32. > :11:38.cartoon animation. And there is a lot of stuff in there adults, but
:11:38. > :11:44.it is fantastic for the kids. I think it is a really good Christmas
:11:44. > :11:49.film. It is one of those Christmas songs that you want to be able to
:11:49. > :11:58.watch in 10 years' time. It is great for a slightly smart child.
:11:58. > :12:05.Inquisitive child. A questioning child. It does explain how
:12:05. > :12:11.Christmas works. If you have got thick kids, don't go! It explains
:12:11. > :12:15.Christmas and how it happens? clever because a lot of kids these
:12:15. > :12:20.days know that Christmas is a big corporate venture. So what this
:12:20. > :12:25.film does is it makes the real Santa, who lives in the North Pole,
:12:25. > :12:29.he is real and there is magic, but it is a big business as well. That
:12:29. > :12:34.is one of the things the film is about, has it become too much of a
:12:34. > :12:40.big business? What my character does is try to reclaim the spirit
:12:40. > :12:48.of Christmas and make sure that one kid, who won't get a present gets
:12:48. > :12:58.the present. It is beautiful! And it is in 3D? It is. You are a big
:12:58. > :13:00.
:13:00. > :13:06.fan of 3D? I slagged off 3D. believe you said "it is a waste of
:13:06. > :13:14.time and money and I wouldn't pay for a ticket".
:13:14. > :13:17.APPLAUSE. You shoot a movie and sometimes
:13:17. > :13:21.they changed it to 3D afterwards and it is a way of getting people
:13:21. > :13:28.into the cinema and charging them extra money. It is naughty. This
:13:28. > :13:33.was designed to be 3D. Can I ask you, when you film something in 3D,
:13:33. > :13:41.does it change you, change the set or is it in the camera? I have
:13:41. > :13:49.never felt anything in 3D. A of course, this is an animation!
:13:49. > :13:54.LAUGHTER. I know I said don't take your thick
:13:54. > :13:59.kids to see it. I was thinking, it looks like you
:13:59. > :14:06.that make up department must be brilliant. Prepare yourself, we are
:14:06. > :14:11.going to see a clip, John Foulds stock it is the last time I'd try
:14:11. > :14:16.and talk Hollywood with someone who has been to Hollywood. This is a
:14:16. > :14:24.clip when you go to find out the kids that has been missed. It is in
:14:24. > :14:31.Toronto. A what is it? No idea, I have never seen it
:14:31. > :14:41.before. They are always putting these things up. A remember the
:14:41. > :14:46.
:14:46. > :14:51.first time I ran into Chicago. There is a small trauma to your
:14:52. > :15:01.gift wrapped, but I can fix it. I can wrap anything with three strips
:15:02. > :15:11.
:15:11. > :15:19.of sticky tape. Fantastic, and wrap It was Ashley Jensen and Bill Nighy.
:15:19. > :15:29.That is out on 11th November. Unless you got thick kids, then it
:15:29. > :15:31.
:15:31. > :15:37.is out in February! Christmas can I don't know whether you find this
:15:37. > :15:42.funny, or disturbing. It depends on whether you have children. Have you
:15:42. > :15:52.seen this? It is called scared of Santa, it is a whole book of
:15:52. > :16:05.
:16:05. > :16:13.pictures of children who are scared I think it's quite funny. Look at
:16:13. > :16:16.that child! Look how rubbish the Santa is. We asked people in the
:16:16. > :16:26.audience if they had any pictures of themselves with Santa. Some
:16:26. > :16:29.
:16:29. > :16:33.people did. Staff? That looks quite recent! It was seven years ago.
:16:33. > :16:43.he a nice Santa? I don't think he asked me what I want for Christmas,
:16:43. > :16:45.
:16:45. > :16:48.so that was disappointing. He was Can I ask, where do you get an
:16:48. > :16:58.audience from who happened to walk around with photographs of
:16:58. > :17:01.
:17:01. > :17:11.themselves? They Eija -- the e mail them. They are not just in their
:17:11. > :17:12.
:17:12. > :17:19.Now, you are smiling in this picture. See if you think there
:17:19. > :17:29.might be some fear. It looks like somebody is pulling Santa through
:17:29. > :17:33.
:17:33. > :17:39.This one is weird. Elizabeth? This looks like a scene from a really
:17:39. > :17:49.disturbing film. The Blair Witch Project, the Christmas special, or
:17:49. > :17:54.
:17:55. > :18:03.something. Look at that. It is It's like when you develop the
:18:03. > :18:08.picture, suddenly Santa was in it. It was taken at Easter! That is the
:18:08. > :18:18.terrifying thing. Megan, this is not a picture of you but your
:18:18. > :18:20.
:18:20. > :18:28.boyfriend. That is Chris. How old was he? Four, I don't know. There
:18:28. > :18:38.he is now. He is not with Santa but God knows, it could not be a more
:18:38. > :18:56.
:18:56. > :19:06.Christmas like picture. Here he is Are you even allowed to show that
:19:06. > :19:12.
:19:12. > :19:19.on television? A just pass it on to If people want to spend Christmas
:19:19. > :19:24.with Joanna Lumley they can this year. You're on stage? It is a
:19:24. > :19:29.Christmas play. It is called the Lion in Winter. It is the story of
:19:29. > :19:33.a family having the most massive argument over Christmas. It is a
:19:33. > :19:41.fractured family, it has divorces, stepchildren, there will squabbling,
:19:41. > :19:47.who loves who, who has sided with who? -- they are all squabbling.
:19:47. > :19:54.And it just happens they are all royal. There is a princess, a queen.
:19:54. > :19:59.It is pretty steep. Sounds like a game of poker! Pretty much. It is
:19:59. > :20:05.extraordinary. Very funny but quite dark. It is all completely true. It
:20:05. > :20:10.is about Britain, England as it was, Henry the second and his wife who
:20:10. > :20:18.was called Eleanor of Aquitaine, a huge area of France. You are in
:20:18. > :20:24.with Robert Lindsay? His fantastic. -- he is fantastic. Eleanor was 11
:20:24. > :20:30.years older than Henry. You do not look thrilled to be with him here.
:20:30. > :20:35.Is that acting? They it is good acting. That is as good at it it --
:20:35. > :20:44.As Good As It gets. Where did you get that from? The internet! How
:20:44. > :20:50.many times?! I hope you have not got pictures of me off the internet.
:20:50. > :20:58.It opens next week and runs right through to the end of January.
:20:58. > :21:04.There is snow in it? No. It is a phenomenal set. It is set in a
:21:04. > :21:08.castle in 1183. Flagstone floors and great arches. We are in the
:21:08. > :21:14.Haymarket Theatre, one of the loveliest London theatres, it goes
:21:14. > :21:22.right to the back, the stage. It issued with vast arches. It is like
:21:22. > :21:32.being in a cathedral, it is thrilling. Good frocks. Is there a
:21:32. > :21:32.
:21:32. > :21:36.lion in it? Keep up! After the interval. Will the lie-in be in it
:21:36. > :21:46.now? All the thick Kids Allowed going to the film, there is a lion
:21:46. > :21:52.
:21:53. > :21:58.You have done stage work, you seemed too young to have had a film
:21:58. > :22:08.and stage career, but you have. started off in pantomime. Did you
:22:08. > :22:11.
:22:11. > :22:15.ever do it? I have. Professional? As opposed to what?! I did, when I
:22:15. > :22:22.first went full-time as a comic I did a pantomime with Darren Day and
:22:22. > :22:29.to his new walks, and a few others. That was Dick Whittington's. We did
:22:29. > :22:36.it in the Lawry theatre in Salford, Manchester. It is a lovely theatre
:22:36. > :22:41.and Salford is quite a deprived area so they did what many councils
:22:41. > :22:47.do and said this is a deprived area, There is gang violence and
:22:47. > :22:57.deprivation, they need a lovely theatre. The gang Stone shoot each
:22:57. > :22:58.
:22:58. > :23:06.other when there is a ballet on! -- dens don't shoot each other. --
:23:06. > :23:10.For the matinee they brought all the schools of Salford in, so 1700
:23:10. > :23:15.kids in Salford, and we did the scene where somebody is being
:23:15. > :23:19.chased and you think come on kids, tell us where he is. I sold the
:23:19. > :23:24.ship with Dick Whittington, the captain, there was the bit where we
:23:24. > :23:29.got chased and there was 1700 kids in there and that is when you
:23:29. > :23:39.realise how tough Salford is. There were 1700 kids and no one of them
:23:39. > :23:47.
:23:47. > :23:54.wanted to snitch! Where is he? Your run your own! -- You're on your own.
:23:54. > :23:59.Joanna also has a book out. It is kind of a memoir, it has so many
:23:59. > :24:06.photographs, theatre programmes... It is photograph lead. His pictures
:24:06. > :24:16.with some writing around it. photos are genius. There is a
:24:16. > :24:18.
:24:18. > :24:24.picture of you as a little baby Look at her! Someone said we are
:24:24. > :24:32.taking you to Santa. I had not seen a lot of these because they were in
:24:32. > :24:38.your house, presumably. That is Joanna Lumley modelling... Well,
:24:38. > :24:42.not everybody could wear that. had to bring our own accessories
:24:42. > :24:48.and they are my own yellow boots, so they look a bit shabby. We were
:24:48. > :24:53.not very rich. We got �4 an hour. Modelling cannot have changed much
:24:53. > :25:01.over the years, yet you do not see poses like that as much as you used
:25:01. > :25:07.to. Look at their shoes. I loved them so. I was six foot two inches
:25:07. > :25:15.in those shoes. You do look fantastic. You look less good in
:25:15. > :25:25.this one. It is a knitting pattern. It is hard to do that. Any model
:25:25. > :25:25.
:25:25. > :25:35.would struggle with wall. -- wool. The headline - young, gay,
:25:35. > :25:43.
:25:43. > :25:47.simpleton it. -- simple to knot. -- The marketing department thought
:25:47. > :25:53.right, it makes a knitting in with tenpin bowling, that will make it
:25:53. > :26:03.popular! You mixed some looks. Baby Doll, schoolgirl, bride-to-be,
:26:03. > :26:03.
:26:03. > :26:07.young mum, sophisticated hostess... Person laughing at fruit! We always
:26:07. > :26:12.had to be seen a laughing at something. If there was some fruit
:26:12. > :26:22.and I was in my picture, probably in something knitted, I would be
:26:22. > :26:30.
:26:30. > :26:34.going like this... And sometimes John Bishop, you have been on your
:26:34. > :26:40.travels, touring the land, and now you bring us a DVD of the tour.
:26:40. > :26:44.taught from the autumn until June, so the DVD is of that. In all of
:26:44. > :26:52.your shows you talk about your family, your wife, your kids. You
:26:52. > :27:00.are very honest about them. Are they OK about that? To be honest, I
:27:00. > :27:04.have not got a wife. It took a while for me to come out but... The
:27:04. > :27:08.truth of the matter is I never thought I would be a comedian so
:27:08. > :27:12.when I ended up walking on stage I did not walk on with a head full of
:27:12. > :27:15.jokes, I went on, talked about what has just gone on. If you are
:27:16. > :27:24.married the children that is what has just gone on. It is what
:27:24. > :27:28.everyone is going through. As your kids get old are they... There are
:27:28. > :27:35.few things were you walk into the bedroom and they say dad, you're
:27:35. > :27:41.not saying anything about that! You say, all right. A and now you have.
:27:41. > :27:46.I will have to go out. We're at a funny stage because my family, none
:27:47. > :27:51.of us expected this to happen so we are a bit surprised. I have been on
:27:51. > :27:58.tour, it was great, I have come back as the hero coming back home,
:27:59. > :28:04.I have been on my travels, the conquering hero, it is wonderful,
:28:04. > :28:08.didn't we do well? I have been home for two months and my wife said I
:28:08. > :28:14.was going to have two years of, spent time with the family, build
:28:14. > :28:18.up relationships, she has said do us a favour, go off on tour again!
:28:18. > :28:22.So I will go back out again next year. That will be about what
:28:22. > :28:27.happens between now and then, because otherwise you can only talk
:28:27. > :28:35.about what your life is about, otherwise it is not true. It is a
:28:35. > :28:41.big tour. A arenas. It will be a challenge, it will be good.
:28:41. > :28:46.Sunshine Tour DVD is out on 14th November. Look lads, I've got to be
:28:46. > :28:51.honest, this isn't my idea but your mum thinks I should explain some
:28:51. > :28:55.things to you. What, Dad? Things are going to change around here
:28:55. > :29:01.because first of all I've got no company car any more, it has gone.
:29:01. > :29:04.We got rid of it. The holidays you are used to going on, we probably
:29:04. > :29:11.cannot go on those for a while because I am not sure what money I
:29:11. > :29:20.will make. As a result, I can't guarantee you will get the presence
:29:21. > :29:26.you're used to getting. -- presents. And they went why, Dad? I said
:29:26. > :29:33.because I have left my job, boys. They win, no, what are you going to
:29:33. > :29:43.do? A said I'm going to be a comedian! They said well, you're
:29:43. > :29:47.
:29:47. > :29:53.That is a true conversation. you will watching Strictly Come
:29:54. > :29:59.Dancing? When I can. A have you been asked to be on it? Yes.
:29:59. > :30:05.you say no? Clearly. That will be the series I did not see. Every
:30:06. > :30:15.year, an unlikely star emerges. Let's lead her to the likes. It's
:30:16. > :30:40.
:30:40. > :30:45.Congratulations, are you enjoying Strictly Come Dancing? I do enjoy
:30:45. > :30:52.it. It has surprised me how much I do enjoy it. It is intense, but I
:30:52. > :30:59.love it. Do you think you are getting better? I do think so.
:31:00. > :31:06.will be honest with you. I was away when it started. And my mother was
:31:06. > :31:15.on the phone and she described your dancing and when I watched it, you
:31:15. > :31:21.were better than I expected. This always happens. Obviously people
:31:21. > :31:29.have known you for a long time because of Sven-Goran Eriksson.
:31:29. > :31:39.years in the UK. Also Trevor Nunn, because he is working with Joanna.
:31:39. > :31:48.
:31:48. > :31:57.What I want to know is what do you You are an international lawyer.
:31:57. > :32:07.you have an office? No, I used to. Tell us, what is it? What is your
:32:07. > :32:13.
:32:13. > :32:18.question? What do you do? I have always been doing public affairs,
:32:18. > :32:26.working for a private or public company, mainly with politicians
:32:26. > :32:35.and sent them the right message on how to create a new look. Was this
:32:35. > :32:45.in its elite? It was in Italy. Italy. I have been working with a
:32:45. > :32:47.
:32:47. > :32:57.few lawyers will stop --. I am using my networking around the
:32:57. > :33:03.
:33:03. > :33:10.world. I am glad I asked! I am all over its Nancy! Youth and Anton,
:33:10. > :33:16.could sparks fly between the two of you? My future husband. We have a
:33:16. > :33:21.great relationship. I think we made very good TV, what do you think?
:33:22. > :33:26.am enjoying watching news. Everyone else turns up in rehearsals in
:33:27. > :33:33.tracksuits, why does he turn up in a shirt and tie to rehearse, he
:33:34. > :33:43.must be roasting? It is his style, I do love that. Like in English
:33:43. > :33:48.gentleman. No, an English gentleman dancers like that... If you have
:33:49. > :33:58.ever seen an English gentleman dance, get amide DVD. Style and
:33:58. > :34:03.manners. Tomorrow night, what are you going to be giving us? A cannot
:34:03. > :34:13.believe I am here tonight. What we you be giving us tomorrow night?
:34:13. > :34:15.
:34:15. > :34:20.rumba. It is a Hallowe'en special show. Sorry, it is the way you are
:34:20. > :34:28.pulling your skirt down, I thought we are getting so rumba then.
:34:28. > :34:34.am getting ready. It is a love dance. It has been all week for
:34:35. > :34:43.preparation. I am not a great dancer, but it is fun. After it
:34:43. > :34:51.finishes, what are you going to do? A few things. I am writing two
:34:51. > :34:56.books. My TV shows. You have a TV show? It probably, I am not going
:34:56. > :35:00.to say any more. Well good luck with your next round,
:35:00. > :35:10.what are you giving us? Nancy, how do you say "it's time for some
:35:10. > :35:18.
:35:18. > :35:28.music now" in Italian? Ladies and gentlemen, singing Suck
:35:28. > :35:28.
:35:28. > :36:20.Apology for the loss of subtitles for 52 seconds
:36:20. > :36:26.# Be cruel to me cause I'm a fool for you.
:36:26. > :36:31.# I bought my aching heart into a pop song.
:36:31. > :36:37.# I could not get the hang of poetry.
:36:37. > :36:47.It is not a skirt goal, it is a shorn off shotgun.
:36:47. > :36:59.
:36:59. > :37:02.# I can only hope you have got it aimed at me. # Sit next to me
:37:02. > :37:04.before I go. # Go, go, go.
:37:04. > :37:09.# Jigsaw women with horror movie shoes.
:37:09. > :37:19.# Be cruel to me cause I'm a fool for you
:37:19. > :37:43.
:37:43. > :37:53.# I often wonder where you are. # Baby I was made to break your
:37:53. > :38:25.
:38:25. > :38:35.# Sits next to me before I go. # Go, Go, Go.
:38:35. > :38:40.
:38:40. > :38:50.# And Jigsaw women horror-movie shoes.
:38:50. > :38:54.
:38:54. > :39:04.# The cruel to me because I am a The Arctic Monkeys. I believe it
:39:04. > :39:17.
:39:17. > :39:26.Alex and Matthew are joining us. Thanks for doing that. Thanks for
:39:26. > :39:36.having us. It is the title track. Some groups go mad on art work, not
:39:36. > :39:37.
:39:37. > :39:42.the Arctic Monkeys. The single is out on the 31st? Is that right?
:39:42. > :39:51.Before we go it is time to have a story in the red shirt. Who is our
:39:51. > :39:59.first? Hello. My name is Karen. Where are you from? Dublin. Do you
:39:59. > :40:02.live here now. What do you do here? I am an office manager. Here that
:40:02. > :40:12.the Nancy, she is an office manager!
:40:12. > :40:14.
:40:14. > :40:20.What is your story? Myself and my family were a way staying by a
:40:20. > :40:24.river. On the Friday evening we went down to the little bar for a
:40:24. > :40:30.few drinks and there were at the Group of Austrians. They had been
:40:30. > :40:34.fishing, but they were much quieter than us and they left earlier. Or
:40:34. > :40:40.we left too late and too drunk and we were walking by their chalet and
:40:40. > :40:47.the curtains were open. And my mother thought she should invite
:40:47. > :40:57.them back to our chalet for a drink. She ran up to the window and she
:40:57. > :41:00.
:41:00. > :41:07.went... They misunderstood. It was good, but not good enough.
:41:08. > :41:16.That a mother could have got a fright. Is somebody else in the
:41:16. > :41:23.chair? Hello. Hello. What is your name? Cara. Where are you from?
:41:23. > :41:27.York. Really? Why the hell are you here? I am a theatre director, and
:41:27. > :41:37.I think the theatre seemed is more stimulating here than in New York
:41:37. > :41:45.
:41:45. > :41:54.to be honest. We don't have time for this! One
:41:54. > :42:01.more. Hello. Hello. How are you? am good. What is your name? My name
:42:01. > :42:06.is Debbie from California. We love you in the United States. Do you
:42:06. > :42:12.find the theatre scene stimulating here? Incredibly! I thought you
:42:12. > :42:22.would. How old are you? I am retired. What did you used to do?
:42:22. > :42:32.used to raise money. OK... Are few go with your story. I was running
:42:32. > :42:32.
:42:33. > :42:38.for the US Congress... Weight and minute! Are weak slipping into a
:42:38. > :42:45.parallel universe? We have a congresswoman hopeful in the red
:42:45. > :42:50.shirt. Not any more. You running for Congress? It was election
:42:50. > :42:56.morning. I thought you were going to say running for a bus! Running
:42:56. > :43:03.for Congress?! I was running for Congress and it was election
:43:03. > :43:06.morning and a group of us were standing by the road, parents, kids,
:43:06. > :43:11.grandparents and the mayor. We were all waving the American flag and
:43:11. > :43:17.the traffic is running by. A man yelled out of his car "I will vote
:43:17. > :43:25.for you if you show me your tits" us. My campaign manager sent to me
:43:25. > :43:31.and said to Notts say a thing. So I yelled back at the man, come back
:43:31. > :43:41.around. He did, and I did, and there was a pile-up. A very good
:43:41. > :43:43.
:43:43. > :43:50.stories. Get up and walk. You can contact us on our website. Thanks
:43:50. > :43:58.to all my guests. The Arctic Monkeys. The John Bishop, Joanna