Episode 7

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0:00:40 > 0:00:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, everybody. Good evening and

0:00:46 > 0:00:53welcome. Oh, we've go the a great show for you tonight. Smouldering

0:00:53 > 0:01:03Spanish star, Antonio Banderas is here. South American sex pot, Salma

0:01:03 > 0:01:05

0:01:05 > 0:01:14Hayek is on the show. Yeah. Top comic Jimmy Carr is here. And,

0:01:14 > 0:01:18we'll be having music and chat from the fabulous Coldplay. I tell you.

0:01:18 > 0:01:23There's a line-up. There's a line- up. Very excited about Antonio

0:01:23 > 0:01:31Banderas. What a range of parts he has played over the years. From

0:01:32 > 0:01:38Zorro, to Puss In Boots. So varied. Can we see who Puss in Boots is

0:01:38 > 0:01:44fighting there? Yes, Antonio Banderas is in the new Puss In

0:01:44 > 0:01:49Boots film with Salma who plays Kitty Softpaws. Actually, there is

0:01:49 > 0:01:59a lovely romantic moment at the end of the film where the two of them

0:01:59 > 0:02:01

0:02:01 > 0:02:07finally get together. CATS MEOW Is it still doggy style? Is it? Salma

0:02:07 > 0:02:10was also the creator of the brilliant Ugly Betty. A silly

0:02:10 > 0:02:18concept. Could anyone with daft glasses and big teeth really make

0:02:18 > 0:02:25it in the world of fashion? Yes, they could. One of my favourite

0:02:25 > 0:02:28films of Salma's is From Dusk Till Dawn where she played a sexy

0:02:28 > 0:02:34vampire stripper. Mind you, if you think that is revealing, ladies and

0:02:35 > 0:02:44gentlemen, I have a picture of Salma where you can clearly see her

0:02:44 > 0:02:51"lady beard". Do you want to see it? YES! Let's get our guests on.

0:02:51 > 0:03:01We will have muse fribg Coldplay later on. First, it's Jimmy Carr.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03

0:03:03 > 0:03:13Hello, sir. You're very well. It's Salma Hayek. Thank you so much for

0:03:13 > 0:03:17

0:03:17 > 0:03:27doing this. Jimmy Carr, Salma Hayek. It is, Antonio Banderas. He is the

0:03:27 > 0:03:31coolest cat in town. There he is, Puss in Boots. Sit yourself down.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35You have come from the Puss In Boots premier. That is right.

0:03:35 > 0:03:41you very much. You were here, I know. I've come from a corridor

0:03:41 > 0:03:50outside. It was so glamorous. were going to invite you, but the

0:03:50 > 0:03:53theatre was so small. You've changed. This sounds like a stupid

0:03:53 > 0:03:58question, did anyone bring a cat? Yes. There were three cats. They

0:03:58 > 0:04:03kept them in a cage. That's terrible. Was thrpbt a special

0:04:03 > 0:04:09screening for cats? There was a special screening for cats in LA. I

0:04:09 > 0:04:14had to sit down with 24 trained cats. I thought it was going to be

0:04:14 > 0:04:20crazy. I was the one who actually failed. He they did a lot of takes

0:04:20 > 0:04:30because of me, not the cats. looks like you are wearing a really

0:04:30 > 0:04:32

0:04:32 > 0:04:38weird after shave. An odd spray. I'm wearing tuna by John West.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41Salma, after all these premiers you can say the title of the movie?

0:04:41 > 0:04:46Didn't have you problems with the title? I did. What did you

0:04:46 > 0:04:56originally call it? I shouldn't say things like that on telly.

0:04:56 > 0:05:02

0:05:02 > 0:05:12Definitely say it. It's called Puss In Boots you called it? Pussy, ss.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14

0:05:14 > 0:05:24Pussy Boots. That sounds like a uef nisism for a condom. You're fired.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26

0:05:26 > 0:05:30Listen I loved Pussy Boots. She has Softpaws. Let's move on from this

0:05:30 > 0:05:35subject. Don't go there. I have another idea, let's never move on

0:05:35 > 0:05:42from this. Let's make the whole thing about this. No. You're called

0:05:42 > 0:05:48soft... Softpaws. Which I did say once, Kitty Softporn. It was

0:05:48 > 0:05:53difficult at the beginning. Now I'm used to the word. Kitty Softpaws,

0:05:53 > 0:05:57Kitty Softpaws, we are being careful. Talk us through, who is

0:05:57 > 0:06:02Kitty Softpaws she is knew to us, we don't know her? She's great.

0:06:02 > 0:06:07She's a street cat. She's saucy and cheeky like they would say here in

0:06:07 > 0:06:15London, right, cheeky? I would definitely say cheeky, why not?

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Sure. She's very smart and free spirited and independent and

0:06:18 > 0:06:23kourraig raigious she is a fantastic thief. What I love about

0:06:23 > 0:06:26her, we are used to princesses who never have a job. They are

0:06:26 > 0:06:34unemployed. Always waiting for the guy to come and rescue them. Like

0:06:34 > 0:06:38The Only Way Is Essex. Essentially. Yes. This is my kitty. She doesn't

0:06:38 > 0:06:44need anybody to rescue her, as a matter-of-fact, sometimes, like in

0:06:44 > 0:06:53real-life, I have to go and rescue him. Yes. I would say, yes. I mean

0:06:53 > 0:06:58- You were going to say some funny pussy word now. No, I wasn't.

0:06:58 > 0:07:03Awesome. We have to hire him for the laughter. I have a weird laugh.

0:07:03 > 0:07:10Most people laugh on the ha-ha. They laugh out. It sounds like a

0:07:10 > 0:07:20goose fighting a seal. You swallow your own laughter. Spit it out,

0:07:20 > 0:07:23

0:07:23 > 0:07:29boy! Oh! I like the rough stuff. Let it go. I will give you a moment

0:07:29 > 0:07:39to recover. Thanks, Graham. We will watch a clip of Kitty and Puss in

0:07:39 > 0:07:52

0:07:52 > 0:08:01action. You're twisted lies. I Oh, oh... Look what I've found.

0:08:01 > 0:08:08Someone forgot his money. Oh, you are dangerous. Weapons of mass

0:08:08 > 0:08:17destruction Humpty Dumpty says you like danger. Just think of all the

0:08:17 > 0:08:27trouble we can get into. The two of us together. We can steal a lot of

0:08:27 > 0:08:32

0:08:32 > 0:08:37golden eggs. Umm? So adorable. It is a funny movie.

0:08:37 > 0:08:45It's in cinema's tonight. Yes. have always been a sex symbol now

0:08:45 > 0:08:50you are a sex symbol who is a -- Cat who is a sex symbol? Yeah. When

0:08:50 > 0:08:54I got to America I didn't speak the language when I was 31 years old.

0:08:54 > 0:09:00They call me because of the use of my voice. It's the most successful

0:09:00 > 0:09:06character I have done in my life. It's weird. A paradox in my life.

0:09:06 > 0:09:16People come up to you and say, "do the voice?"? They do a lot. Can you

0:09:16 > 0:09:22do the voice. I am doing the voice. That's Puss in Boots. Fear me, if

0:09:22 > 0:09:26you dare. Wasn't the original character didn't have to be a

0:09:26 > 0:09:30swashbuckleer, was he made a swashbuckleer because of Zorro?

0:09:30 > 0:09:36They took reference from stuff I had done before, definitely. They

0:09:36 > 0:09:41build those characters around you. When I got to the Shrek series I

0:09:41 > 0:09:44thought he was going to be a recurring character. I didn't think

0:09:44 > 0:09:49he would be that back. They determined the personality of the

0:09:49 > 0:09:53character. We decided to put a voice on a very little character

0:09:53 > 0:09:58that actually goes against that body. It doesn't match him. There

0:09:58 > 0:10:02is the creation of comedy. What is really funny is they keep them cats.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06They humanise them to a degree. The chasing the thing. They become cats

0:10:06 > 0:10:14in the movie. They can be as humanised as they want, eventually

0:10:14 > 0:10:21they do cat things. There is dodgy licking you will be pleased to know.

0:10:21 > 0:10:26In Zorro, you know, lots of people do sword fights it's choreographed?

0:10:27 > 0:10:31A lot of people do sword fights. You trained with the Spanish

0:10:31 > 0:10:39Olympic team? I did for four months. Come on. It's true. Why did you do

0:10:39 > 0:10:44that? She is doing that the whole day in interviews. He is so good at

0:10:44 > 0:10:53everything. Mummy and daddy are fighting, I don't like it. Oh, my

0:10:53 > 0:10:59God! Show them. Who am I going to sword fight against. I thought you

0:10:59 > 0:11:07would make it do things. Let me see that. I haven't trained with an

0:11:07 > 0:11:17Olympic team. You wouldn't kill anybody like this. Teach me a move

0:11:17 > 0:11:23

0:11:23 > 0:11:27that would impress people. There are, I think, seven positions.

0:11:27 > 0:11:33You put your leg here like this and hang like this. I'm doing exactly

0:11:33 > 0:11:39what you are doing. Don't laugh at me. Comfortable and relax. This is

0:11:39 > 0:11:45the first position. Hang on. Wouldn't it be awful if I killed

0:11:45 > 0:11:53Antonio Banderas. You get a guest on and you kill one. First position.

0:11:53 > 0:12:00That's first. That is not that bad. First and second. Third and fourth.

0:12:00 > 0:12:05Fifth. I've cut my own leg, I will ignore that. Sixth. A fancy one in

0:12:05 > 0:12:15case someone attacks you in the back like this. You are so good.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17

0:12:17 > 0:12:27thought so. Now, try that. You can try this. Fancy. That is good. Keep

0:12:27 > 0:12:32

0:12:32 > 0:12:37it there. What did I tell you. He's a showoff. And then you go...

0:12:37 > 0:12:42You could have been a professional soccer player? I could have. I

0:12:42 > 0:12:49broke my left foot when I was 16 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah....

0:12:49 > 0:12:53Weren't you good enough to be an Olympic gymnast? That's true.

0:12:53 > 0:12:58couple of things, right here. Could you have been a professional

0:12:58 > 0:13:03football player. I don't know if you have been to a pub England in

0:13:04 > 0:13:08there is one man in every pub who had trials for sp Spurs. You could

0:13:08 > 0:13:13have been an Olympic gymnast, more information than you want. I had a

0:13:13 > 0:13:23thing about gymnasts much I always fantasized about having sex with a

0:13:23 > 0:13:25

0:13:25 > 0:13:29gymnast, because they do amazing dismounts. I just imagine... That

0:13:29 > 0:13:35is funny. I imagine after sex you would be by the side of the bed

0:13:35 > 0:13:45like that. You bend your legs even a little bit I could make you do it

0:13:45 > 0:13:46

0:13:46 > 0:13:55Very excited, because you were Zorro again recently, for security

0:13:55 > 0:14:00reasons. This is very cool. You had a benefit in your own house.

0:14:00 > 0:14:04have a then a -- benefit for the campaign of Barack Obama. We

0:14:04 > 0:14:10received the President of the United States in my home. It makes

0:14:10 > 0:14:17me laugh because it is something you don't do every day. Yes, we all

0:14:17 > 0:14:27had codenames. Up for security? South who gave you the code names?

0:14:27 > 0:14:30

0:14:30 > 0:14:35Secret services. Thank you were? It must have been amazing, you have

0:14:35 > 0:14:41the President in your house. It is only 20 years ago, 19 years ago,

0:14:41 > 0:14:44that you did not speak English, you were unknown in America. It is a

0:14:44 > 0:14:49fabulous... When you first went to America, you didn't speak the

0:14:49 > 0:14:54language? Nothing at all. How good looking does a man have to be to

0:14:54 > 0:15:04get cast in a film and the director says language is not a problem!

0:15:04 > 0:15:11

0:15:11 > 0:15:21doesn't matter how good looking you 5th you had to meet with producers.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23

0:15:23 > 0:15:28I met somebody there who was just taking coffee to the agents. He

0:15:28 > 0:15:33said, you want a representative in America? I said, yeah, sure. I went

0:15:33 > 0:15:37to do an Italian movie. When I came back, he said, you have to go to

0:15:37 > 0:15:42London, I have a meeting with an American director. I said, I don't

0:15:42 > 0:15:47speak English. He said, just go there and pretend you speak English.

0:15:47 > 0:15:51So just go there and do something. I came to London, I met with this

0:15:51 > 0:15:59guy, in a very fancy restaurant. He started speaking with me and I

0:15:59 > 0:16:05didn't understand one word. I was saying, yes. And yes. Eventually,

0:16:05 > 0:16:11something more complicated, like, of course. At the end of the

0:16:11 > 0:16:16conversation, I learned a line that was the key to my career. I said, I

0:16:16 > 0:16:26can do that. And he actually believed it. That is why we are

0:16:26 > 0:16:29

0:16:29 > 0:16:33talking now. But it is like a fairy-tale. I

0:16:33 > 0:16:39can't imagine going to Spain now, I don't speak any Spanish, and saying,

0:16:39 > 0:16:44I will become a film star, I will be fine. Do I get a boat docks in

0:16:44 > 0:16:51texting in my tongue so that I have a list? -- injection in my tongue.

0:16:51 > 0:16:56If you wrote your story in a film, people would not believe it.

0:16:56 > 0:17:03spoke English when you came to America? I spoke shopping English!

0:17:03 > 0:17:10Small, medium! Was there a thing when you got a review of Desperado,

0:17:10 > 0:17:17and you got a -- you thought it was a bad review. They said, bombshell.

0:17:17 > 0:17:22And I thought they said that I bombed. You do these movies and

0:17:22 > 0:17:27then afterwards, you have to do the press. Not speaking very good

0:17:27 > 0:17:30English... That was mad, I made the huge mistakes. Was there a

0:17:30 > 0:17:40journalist who asked to your favourite American food? Yes, and I

0:17:40 > 0:17:48said, Francis Ford Coppola. He does make a pasta sauce. What did the

0:17:48 > 0:17:55journalist do? He just laughed his but off. His what? What did you

0:17:55 > 0:18:05say? Don't! There seems to be a lot of sexual tension, I think you need

0:18:05 > 0:18:06

0:18:06 > 0:18:15to get each other out of your systems! You are just projecting!

0:18:15 > 0:18:23Do you are right, I really like him. By know that. -- I know that. You

0:18:24 > 0:18:31broke 1 million hearts when you said I'd do. Fine, it is totally

0:18:31 > 0:18:35fine. You are the only one in the house he doesn't speak French?

0:18:35 > 0:18:41speak very bad French. Isn't that your own fault? You had the

0:18:41 > 0:18:45opportunity? I did. My parents sent me to learn French when I was

0:18:45 > 0:18:50really young. It sounded like a good idea but when I got to Paris

0:18:50 > 0:18:56and they told me I had to have eight hours straight private

0:18:56 > 0:19:01lessons in French, at 16 or 17... What a terrible opportunity.

0:19:01 > 0:19:06Imagine, for the summer. I am sorry, when you are 17, you don't want to

0:19:06 > 0:19:15be stuck in a room with a teacher. I lied, I told my parents that my

0:19:15 > 0:19:22teacher died. That's why I don't trust you. A dangerous woman.

0:19:22 > 0:19:27regret it, I wish I hadn't killed that teacher! Your husband and

0:19:27 > 0:19:32daughter, do they plot against you? I understand it now. Those days are

0:19:32 > 0:19:42gone, Baby! You should have pretended that you still didn't

0:19:42 > 0:19:42

0:19:42 > 0:19:48understand it. I did, for a while. Did you find out good did? Oh, yeah,

0:19:48 > 0:19:58it was good to be a spy. I don't mean to ruin the chemistry, but

0:19:58 > 0:20:04Jimmy has a girlfriend. Yeah, I'm lucky. In it your tour next year,

0:20:04 > 0:20:11you are already booking that. this one has finished. I notice you

0:20:11 > 0:20:15are doing fewer updates. It is likely to do with having a bit more

0:20:15 > 0:20:19time at home. I was always so much. Getting into that argument with my

0:20:19 > 0:20:29girlfriends saying, you treat this house like you are a hotel -- like

0:20:29 > 0:20:33

0:20:33 > 0:20:36a hotel. When I travel, I get love sick. Well, they call it chlamydia.

0:20:36 > 0:20:41We have been together 10 years, we have a great relationship. We

0:20:41 > 0:20:45occasionally get into regular arguments that couples get into. It

0:20:45 > 0:20:50is the same situation. We went to a party only a week ago. A great

0:20:50 > 0:20:53party, really fun. 2:30am, I am driving home, I haven't had

0:20:53 > 0:20:58anything to drink. She has had quite a lot to drink in terms of

0:20:58 > 0:21:04units to a colt, but she is not drunk. And I know that, because she

0:21:04 > 0:21:09told me 400 times. -- units of alcohol. She is talking a lot, I am

0:21:09 > 0:21:17listening a little, my back. In my defence, she was telling me about

0:21:17 > 0:21:21the evening in real time, and I had A mutual friend of ours said

0:21:21 > 0:21:26something that she did not like. She said, that girl said my dress

0:21:26 > 0:21:34was short. And I agreed, I said yeah, it is short. She goes from 0

0:21:34 > 0:21:39to 100 as an angry in two minutes. She goes... You taking her side? Go

0:21:39 > 0:21:44back to the party, pick up and drive her home, and I'll just walk

0:21:44 > 0:21:49I'm on my fat little legs that can't even where a short skirt. The

0:21:49 > 0:21:54-- walk home. In 30 seconds she is opening the car door. I had to stop

0:21:54 > 0:21:59the car. As soon as I stop the car, she is out. Teetering up the road

0:21:59 > 0:22:03on heels, no coat, no keys, no money, no phones, no idea where she

0:22:03 > 0:22:07is going. I had to do the dutiful boy friend thing of driving along

0:22:07 > 0:22:12at 4 mph. Get back in the car, it is my fault. It is not my fault, I

0:22:12 > 0:22:22have done nothing! Get back in the car, I will buy you chips. I got

0:22:22 > 0:22:27

0:22:27 > 0:22:36arrested for trying to pick up a That's my story and I'm sticking to

0:22:36 > 0:22:44it. Salma Hayek, you were very well known in your home country of

0:22:45 > 0:22:49Mexico. What would your character, Teresa? -- what was your character.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53That is a big decision, to leave. If you are an actor and you get a

0:22:53 > 0:22:59job, that is already very good. To go looking for another job seems...

0:22:59 > 0:23:09Ambitious. Yeah, but I didn't want to do the Spanish show for the rest

0:23:09 > 0:23:13of my life. At that time, there was no film industry in Mexico. If you

0:23:13 > 0:23:16don't want to do theatre or that show, you have no choice but to be

0:23:16 > 0:23:21miserable, or take a chance. must have been biddable, a nice

0:23:21 > 0:23:31kind of poetic justice, to get to America and sell ugly Betty to

0:23:31 > 0:23:33

0:23:33 > 0:23:39America -- it must have been beautiful. The IU behind that?

0:23:39 > 0:23:44are you behind that? Yeah, that's me. When I became -- when I came, I

0:23:44 > 0:23:54did not come with a story nominated for an Oscar. I said, can I get an

0:23:54 > 0:23:56

0:23:56 > 0:24:00agent? They would kick me out of -- kick me out of the office! I

0:24:00 > 0:24:06should have just said, yes, yes. I maybe I would have got an something.

0:24:06 > 0:24:14You should have just said, I can do that. I can do that! It is not

0:24:14 > 0:24:17working, Jimmy. I can't imagine you were ever, in any way, ugly. But I

0:24:17 > 0:24:21know that you did have some insecurities about your physical

0:24:21 > 0:24:30appearance when you were younger. Are we talking about my breasts?

0:24:30 > 0:24:34Yes, we are. Finally! At half! were a -- back off! You were

0:24:34 > 0:24:38insecure when you were young? I was the youngest in my class and

0:24:38 > 0:24:45all the girls started getting them, and I wasn't getting anything, and

0:24:45 > 0:24:49I was really scared. What did you do? We went on a road trip with my

0:24:49 > 0:24:59parents, we went to this church that had a saint that was supposed

0:24:59 > 0:25:02to be doing a lot of miracles. I was getting teased a lot. When we

0:25:02 > 0:25:07went back to the car, I said, I have forgotten something. I went

0:25:07 > 0:25:17back to the judge, put my hands in the holy water, and went, please,

0:25:17 > 0:25:31

0:25:31 > 0:25:404th the weird thing about that, Because you played a cad... I did.

0:25:40 > 0:25:46What? -- you played a cat. In the movie, Kitty Softpaws? A happy

0:25:46 > 0:25:55chance, we found this little club. Have you seen this clip of the oh

0:25:55 > 0:26:05my God cat? It is very cute. Here he is. He starts to get a bit

0:26:05 > 0:26:18

0:26:18 > 0:26:24If we watch it again, you can tell them something shocking, and it

0:26:24 > 0:26:30works. You know the actress Salma Hayek, she is on my show. She is.

0:26:30 > 0:26:40She used to have a really flat chest, she did. But then she prayed

0:26:40 > 0:26:43

0:26:43 > 0:26:49to God and now she has a really big Jimmy Carr, you are touring next

0:26:49 > 0:26:54year. Restore is finished? Yes, last Sunday. -- this tour is

0:26:54 > 0:27:00finished. The DVD is out. Is it in the small cupboard behind me?

0:27:00 > 0:27:05imagine it is. Is this it? Yeah, the colours... I thought it was

0:27:05 > 0:27:11going to look punk rock. It is maybe a little bit pink. It is

0:27:11 > 0:27:19quite pink. Is it in shops now? It is. Just in time for Christmas.

0:27:19 > 0:27:24guess! That is lovely, what a great idea! We were talking about

0:27:24 > 0:27:28difficulties with English when they got to America. In this tour, you

0:27:28 > 0:27:32do a masterclass in accents. I was trying to get better. I have been a

0:27:32 > 0:27:36stand-up comedian for 10 years and I was trying to get better at it. I

0:27:36 > 0:27:40have gone away and discover the secrets of a good regional accent,

0:27:40 > 0:27:49you need a key phrase to get you started. Once you get that in your

0:27:49 > 0:27:53head, you can get started. I can do once from around Britain. It will

0:27:53 > 0:28:01be useful if you start playing British people, Meryl Streep gets

0:28:01 > 0:28:07them all now. You could be in desperate Scouse wives. If you want

0:28:07 > 0:28:15to talk like someone from Liverpool, you say this phrase, chicken and a

0:28:15 > 0:28:25can of Coke. You have got to try it. I want some chicken and a can of

0:28:25 > 0:28:27

0:28:27 > 0:28:33Coke. That is very good! I want some chicken and a can of Coke!

0:28:33 > 0:28:38works! You sounded like you were trying to be a ventriloquist. Once

0:28:38 > 0:28:43you say it, you can say something authentically Scouse. I am going on

0:28:43 > 0:28:53the rob, I have got to get a prosy, it is my granny's birthday. She is

0:28:53 > 0:28:56

0:28:56 > 0:29:04Obviously, I'm not knocking Liverpool. I love Liverpool.

0:29:04 > 0:29:12Liverpool is the only town in Great Britain where JD Sport has an

0:29:13 > 0:29:22evening department. Rollercoaster, pooper Scooper. If you want to do

0:29:23 > 0:29:23

0:29:23 > 0:29:33the Georgy accent. IN GEORDIE ACCENT" ROLLERCOASTER,

0:29:33 > 0:29:38

0:29:38 > 0:29:48POOPERSCOOPER do it. Rollercoaster. Pooper scooper. Um pa lum per.

0:29:48 > 0:29:49

0:29:49 > 0:29:57Love it. Obviously, we are very excited about the music tonight.

0:29:57 > 0:30:07Before we hear them play, let's meet the lead singer of the global

0:30:07 > 0:30:08

0:30:08 > 0:30:12chart-topping Coldplay, it's Chris Martin.

0:30:12 > 0:30:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Sit down, sir. That was funny that.

0:30:18 > 0:30:25Thank you very much. I was watching. It's clever that. Different ones

0:30:25 > 0:30:30around the country. I can do Welsh. That is the other one. The confused

0:30:31 > 0:30:40Welsh. "who's coat is that jacket, who's shoes are those trainers?".

0:30:41 > 0:30:46

0:30:46 > 0:30:56We had a guy on tour who said that for real. He said, "who's Coke is

0:30:56 > 0:31:01

0:31:01 > 0:31:07that Pepsi?". Congratulations to you. My real name isn't that

0:31:07 > 0:31:13interesting. It's not like Antonio Banderas or Jimmy Carr. The great

0:31:13 > 0:31:17thing is it's been a huge success. Yeah. Every band dreams of being

0:31:17 > 0:31:21successful. Once you got success there is all that terrible pressure

0:31:21 > 0:31:29of, now we have to stay successful. You dream of having a girlfriend

0:31:29 > 0:31:35then you dream of being successful. Both have come true. Those are the

0:31:35 > 0:31:40two dreams. How much pressure do you feel before a new album?

0:31:40 > 0:31:44stone. If it's more than a movie hopefully you have another one in

0:31:44 > 0:31:50the pipeline. This is... This is the end. This is three years.

0:31:50 > 0:31:55Not three years long. No. That is value! You know shall I was

0:31:55 > 0:32:02thinking about names and stuff. I knew you would ask me about what it

0:32:02 > 0:32:06means. Banderas means "flags". His name ising are Tony Flags. Which

0:32:07 > 0:32:11isn't so glamorous. Don't they put that in your trailer sometimes.

0:32:11 > 0:32:17it in my trailer. When I go to Italy I will say that is my name at

0:32:17 > 0:32:22the hotel. Don't say that to them! I'm leaving tonight. It's fine.

0:32:22 > 0:32:28Codename Zorro, checked in under Tony Flag, you will find him. On

0:32:29 > 0:32:36this album you have a duet Rihanna. Yes. Very exciting? It is.

0:32:36 > 0:32:40people speak to me or Chris calling Rihanna? I went to visit her and

0:32:40 > 0:32:46sat down with a piano and her sitting where you are, looking very

0:32:46 > 0:32:51similar. I can imagine. She looked rough. I said, "I have this song" I

0:32:51 > 0:33:01was English about it. It took 20 minutes to ask the question. I just

0:33:01 > 0:33:01

0:33:01 > 0:33:05played and she was "OK" for $2 million she said, "I'll do it".

0:33:05 > 0:33:14We've never done a duet before, it was a risk. It doesn't sound that

0:33:14 > 0:33:22bad. Fur looking for collaborators Salma there loves singing. No.

0:33:22 > 0:33:27are karaoke queen. You love it? He does everything well. Do you do

0:33:27 > 0:33:33the Mexican dancing? Do you know the amazing dancing. You are a

0:33:33 > 0:33:43natural. The amazing dancing is not Mexican. I'm sorry I messed up.

0:33:43 > 0:33:49Again who does flamenco. I can do salsa pretty good. SPEAKS IN

0:33:49 > 0:33:58SPANISH What are we going to, do put subtitles on it. Come on, make

0:33:58 > 0:34:04an effort. I dance in a strange hopping, it's not technically

0:34:04 > 0:34:14dancing. Like some kind of a fit. People come and see it in concert.

0:34:14 > 0:34:15

0:34:15 > 0:34:21You are, we heard you in Evita. have a character. If you work with

0:34:21 > 0:34:25him it would be a dramatic scene. Just stop it... I did it on

0:34:25 > 0:34:29Broadway, I did it on movies or did it as a professional singer or

0:34:29 > 0:34:39anything like thasm I don't don't want to be... He's on a tour next

0:34:39 > 0:34:40

0:34:40 > 0:34:44year, go with him. Tony Flag and his Band. The Tony Flags Quartet.

0:34:44 > 0:34:49You have something in common. In Salma's house everyone speaks

0:34:49 > 0:34:54French. In your house you are the one who doesn't speak Spanish?

0:34:55 > 0:34:58is true. Have you tried to learn Spanish? Yes. No luck. Everyone

0:34:58 > 0:35:05else speaks Spanish in the house and they just let you... They just

0:35:05 > 0:35:12let me watch Neighbours. They do. It's wonderful. I grew up speaking

0:35:12 > 0:35:17English and Davon. Which is from Devon. Farm language much I can't

0:35:17 > 0:35:27speak anything international. us the farm language. That bales a

0:35:27 > 0:35:27

0:35:27 > 0:35:33bit wrong. I know what that means. Listen, I know you are going to

0:35:33 > 0:35:39play for us. You are heading off to a gig. A concert. What will you

0:35:39 > 0:35:49perform for us? A song called Paradise. Ush rushing off so I will

0:35:49 > 0:35:51

0:35:51 > 0:35:57say good night to you now. Thank CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:57 > 0:36:07Still to come this week's stories in the famous Red Chair, first,

0:36:07 > 0:36:25

0:36:25 > 0:36:35singing Paradise it is Coldplay. # Oh-oh-oh

0:36:35 > 0:36:36

0:36:36 > 0:36:42# When she was just a girl, she expected the world

0:36:42 > 0:36:47# But it flew away from her reach # She ran away in her sleep

0:36:47 > 0:36:57# Dreamed of para-para-paradise # Para-para-paradise

0:36:57 > 0:37:08

0:37:08 > 0:37:14# Every time she closed her eyes # Whooooo...

0:37:14 > 0:37:21# When she was just a girl # She expected the world

0:37:21 > 0:37:31# But it flew away from her reach # The bullets catch in her teeth

0:37:31 > 0:37:36# Life goes on, it gets so heavy # The wheel breaks the butterfly

0:37:37 > 0:37:41# Every tear a waterfall # In the night a stormy night

0:37:42 > 0:37:50she'll close her eyes # In the night the stormy night

0:37:50 > 0:38:00away she'd flies # And dream of para-para-paradise

0:38:00 > 0:38:01

0:38:01 > 0:38:07# Para-para-paradise # Para-para-paradise oh-oh-oh

0:38:07 > 0:38:17# She'd dream of para-para-paradise # Para-para-paradise

0:38:17 > 0:38:40

0:38:40 > 0:38:43# Lalalala # So lying underneath those stormy

0:38:43 > 0:38:51skies # She'd say, oh-oh-oh

0:38:51 > 0:39:01# I know the sun must set to rise # This could be para-para-paradise

0:39:01 > 0:39:03

0:39:03 > 0:39:10# Para-para-paradise # Oh-oh-oh

0:39:10 > 0:39:20# This could be para-para-paradise # Para-para-paradise

0:39:20 > 0:39:29

0:39:29 > 0:39:36# Oh-oh-oh saig -- oh-oh-oh # Whoooo

0:39:36 > 0:39:46# This could be para-para-paradise # Para-para-paradise

0:39:46 > 0:39:53

0:39:53 > 0:39:59# Oh-oh-oh # Whoooo

0:39:59 > 0:40:08# Whoooo... # Thank you.

0:40:08 > 0:40:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Coldplay everybody. Fantastic. OK.

0:40:12 > 0:40:21Before we go tonight let's have a story or two in the Red Chair. Who

0:40:21 > 0:40:26is up first? Hello, sir. Hi. What is your name? Gary. Where are you

0:40:26 > 0:40:32from? Newcastle and living in Essex. I liked Jimmy's impressions before,

0:40:32 > 0:40:38very good. Essex, are you mugging me off, you slag? What do you do?

0:40:38 > 0:40:44nurse. We weren't expecting that, were we? Whatever profession I

0:40:44 > 0:40:52thought you were going to say that was not top of my list. People say

0:40:52 > 0:40:57male nurse. It's not pronounced male nurse. What do you mean?

0:40:57 > 0:41:01actually pronounced kpwtion "male nurse ". What is your story. I got

0:41:01 > 0:41:05locked out of my car in Newcastle. I was trying to get into the car. I

0:41:05 > 0:41:10was trying all sorts of equipment. This guy came past, older guy shall

0:41:10 > 0:41:15he stopped us and said said, "do you want help to tkpwhet your car?"

0:41:15 > 0:41:22I said "great" he picked a brick up off the floor and put it through

0:41:22 > 0:41:29the window of the car. I thanked him. Anyway he then said, "would

0:41:29 > 0:41:39you like to get a new window I work in the scrapyard down the road" I

0:41:39 > 0:41:49gave him �20. He gave me a recipe, "Mr Smith I took �20 off you I will

0:41:49 > 0:41:49

0:41:49 > 0:41:55be back with a window whenever". That was seven years ago. Ahh!

0:41:55 > 0:42:03began well and he tailed off. the most gullible man who has ever

0:42:03 > 0:42:08lived? I like the window bit. didn't understand the rest.

0:42:08 > 0:42:17weren't missing.... He should have had said "rollercoaster". One more.

0:42:17 > 0:42:26Hi, Jimmy, do you remember me? Hello, how are you. Where did I

0:42:26 > 0:42:36meet snu At High Wycombe we were a double act. Hello. Is this your

0:42:36 > 0:42:36

0:42:36 > 0:42:46story? It's piss poor so far. What do you do? I'm a student. What do

0:42:46 > 0:42:47

0:42:47 > 0:42:54you study? Religion. Again, not an answer I was expecting. That is why

0:42:54 > 0:42:59her boobies grew. Leave me alone. Delight us with your tale. Prince

0:42:59 > 0:43:04Philip came to my school. I was sat in the front row. I thought "I'll

0:43:04 > 0:43:09touch him when he comes past". He walked past me I put my hand out he

0:43:09 > 0:43:15stamp on me, he was like "move". I didn't get to touch him really.

0:43:15 > 0:43:21that the end of that story? Yes. I quite enjoyed that story. Do you

0:43:21 > 0:43:31remember her now? When she flipped back and her legs... I recognised

0:43:31 > 0:43:32

0:43:32 > 0:43:37her. I have met her, yeah. If you would like to join us on the the --

0:43:37 > 0:43:40show and have a go in the Red Chair contact us on this guest. Thank you

0:43:40 > 0:43:45to all my guests tonight, Coldplay, Jimmy Carr, Salma Hayek and Antonio

0:43:45 > 0:43:47Banderas. Join ne me next week with X Factor's Rebecca Ferguson,