:00:17. > :00:27.This is Sparta. On the show tonight, the star of 300. Top music, acting
:00:27. > :00:48.
:00:48. > :00:54.royalty and a cute little doggy. Oh, oh!
:00:54. > :01:04.I'm exhausted. Happy New Year, everyone. The first show of 2012
:01:04. > :01:04.
:01:04. > :01:10.and what a show it's going to be. Hollywood hunk, Gerard Butler is
:01:10. > :01:18.here. Martin Freeman is here! Doctor Who assistant, Karen Gillan
:01:18. > :01:26.is on the show! Musical superstar, Noel Gallagher is here!
:01:26. > :01:36.And, and..I wasn't lying, the star of the new silent movie The Artist,
:01:36. > :01:36.
:01:36. > :01:44.Uggie the dog is here. Ah! Uggie living the film-star life
:01:44. > :01:49.on the red carpet. Here he is partying afterwards!
:01:49. > :01:58.Very excited to be meeting Gerard Butler star of the hit film 300.
:01:58. > :02:02.Look at that! A great man stripped to the waist,
:02:03. > :02:12.always erotic...well! Nearly always!
:02:13. > :02:14.
:02:14. > :02:20.Imagine 300 of them! Martin Freeman's joining me. Yes, he is.
:02:20. > :02:25.He's appearing as Dr Watson in the brilliant new series of Sherlock.
:02:25. > :02:30.The next series is based on The Hound Of The Baskervilles, a
:02:30. > :02:38.terrifying dog that ate two of the Baskerville family. I could not eat
:02:38. > :02:44.another Baskerville! The first episode was action-packed,
:02:44. > :02:51.ladies and gentlemen. Holmes and Watson had to deal with a robbery
:02:51. > :02:55.in Baker Street, a heist in the High Street and even a snatch in
:02:55. > :03:05.Belgravia. We have music with Noel Gallagher,
:03:05. > :03:07.
:03:07. > :03:12.but first, it's Dr Watson himself, Martin Freeman!
:03:12. > :03:19.She made a big splash, it's Karen Gillan.
:03:19. > :03:29.Beautiful. Hello, my darling. Sit yourself down there.
:03:29. > :03:44.
:03:44. > :03:54.And at last, I've got my very own Oh, happy New Year, all.
:03:54. > :03:54.
:03:54. > :04:01.Happy New Year. Oh! They love you all! Equals. Just because Gerard
:04:01. > :04:09.got a bigger round of applause, that's means nothing. Thanks very
:04:09. > :04:16.much. This is from Martin's partner. He's a vessel for love. That's
:04:16. > :04:20.really nice. You went right past Karen Gillan. We already had a kiss
:04:20. > :04:27.backstage. Fair enough. I'll keep the show as quick as possible so
:04:27. > :04:34.you can get back to it! And you've just come from a premiere. I did,
:04:34. > :04:40.yes. Corps rainious. Yes. But I gave it up to come and see you.
:04:40. > :04:50.You're a Scott, I thought you might be sporting a kilt on the red
:04:50. > :04:51.
:04:51. > :04:56.carpet. Do you do it? Yes I have done it. On the red carpet? No.
:04:56. > :05:02.lot of people are saying, "You have." Oh, in Glasgow, I did. Do
:05:02. > :05:09.you want to answer these questions for me. By the way, this lady, did
:05:09. > :05:15.you move to America? She's from Scotland but just goes...Wherever
:05:15. > :05:22.You go? She knows the answers better than I do. If I say anything
:05:22. > :05:27.wrong, you'll keep me in line. Apparently she will.
:05:27. > :05:32.I wore a kilt at my sister's wedding in Paisley Scotland and I
:05:32. > :05:36.had to go up and do a reading. And my mother and the family were in
:05:36. > :05:43.the front row, and, as you know in Scotland, there's a certain rule to
:05:43. > :05:49.wearing the kilt and I was sitting like this. And everyone's leaning
:05:49. > :05:54.forward for the poem and looking at me and my mum is going like this. I
:05:54. > :06:01.think she's telling me to pray. And the whole congregation is watching
:06:01. > :06:11.me and I'm looking at her and I go like this...and she's like....and
:06:11. > :06:11.
:06:11. > :06:18.then I realise that everybody is staring right up...So I go...
:06:18. > :06:24.And that's why I always forget that I've worn kilts. It's always a
:06:24. > :06:30.disaster. Because, Karen, you're from Scotland aren't you? I am
:06:30. > :06:36.have you tried kilts? I'm still traumatised by something that
:06:36. > :06:43.happened to me the other day. I was at my cousin's wedding and I
:06:43. > :06:48.thought I'm going to film and send it to her as a present. And
:06:48. > :06:54.suddenly the film went all dark, and I realised it was an up-kilt
:06:54. > :07:03.shot of my cousin. Did you leave it? No, it's deleted. It could be
:07:03. > :07:08.the extras of the wedding. Here it is here. Listen, not only
:07:08. > :07:13.are we pleased, Gerard Butler that you're on the show, we're glad
:07:13. > :07:18.you're on planet Earth. Because we nearly lost you before Christmas.
:07:18. > :07:23.Is that true? Because it was on the news? It's true then! OK. This is
:07:23. > :07:28.one of the few times that maybe the reports were not exaggerated. It
:07:28. > :07:34.was a pretty close call. The movie I was making was about big surf. So
:07:34. > :07:39.we were if a place called satisfy maverick, where the waves are huge
:07:39. > :07:45.and I'd surfed some and suddenly these waves came out of nowhere and
:07:45. > :07:51.I'm with three of the best surfers in the world and suddenly they're
:07:51. > :07:56.saying, "Paddle, paddle" this wave was 30 feet high and I just dived
:07:56. > :08:02.in and it took me and I was under and you get to that stage when you
:08:02. > :08:07.think, "I've got to get up" I ripped my leash off so there was
:08:08. > :08:13.nothing to pull me up. And I was tumbling and going and going and I
:08:13. > :08:19.needed to get up and I felt the next wave going and it was all over
:08:19. > :08:25.again. And I thought "there's a whole film crew up there going
:08:25. > :08:31."where is he. I'm interested. How long did it feel like you were
:08:31. > :08:39.under, because you know people say your life flashes in front of you.
:08:40. > :08:46.How long did it feel? Well, I think I got out of my depth a couple of
:08:46. > :08:54.times and sometimes you're only under for a two seconds, and it
:08:54. > :08:58.feels like minutes. Oh, my God, I'm reliving it. Let's move on. This
:08:59. > :09:08.isn't chat show gold. Now, Gerard, I think I've been very well to hold
:09:09. > :09:09.
:09:09. > :09:19.off until now. Let's talk about your body. CROWD CHEER. Is that you
:09:19. > :09:21.
:09:21. > :09:30.surfing now? I don't know what that is? Do you know where that is?
:09:30. > :09:35.Hawaii. Seriously? You were there. You probably took photos.
:09:35. > :09:42.But was 300 the first time you seriously did the body building?
:09:42. > :09:47.I did it for Tomb Raider. Of course, that was first. Yeah, that's the
:09:47. > :09:52.movie where I kind of went a bit crazy. I was training six hours a
:09:52. > :09:58.day when I did 300 and I was pumping and I would have a trolley
:09:58. > :10:01.of weights round and it was just between each take. Actually, in all
:10:01. > :10:07.seriousness, it really helped me get into the intensity of the
:10:07. > :10:12.character. Because I noticed in another movie, a viking movie and
:10:12. > :10:19.I'd done half on weights and half on not, and I could so see the
:10:19. > :10:28.difference with the aggression. testosterone? Yes. Because in Love
:10:28. > :10:35.Actually, Martin, you had to get your kit off. You were a porn
:10:35. > :10:43.double. Well, I'll say this for Richard Curtis's sake, I wasn't
:10:43. > :10:51.meant to be a porn double, I was kind of Eyes Wide Shut, that kind
:10:51. > :10:56.of high end. Did you feel the pressure to get fit? Yes, I got a
:10:56. > :11:03.one pack. Richard was straight with me. I came in with an eight pack,
:11:03. > :11:08.and Richard said, "You've got to be more normal." Yirks it would have
:11:08. > :11:14.been nice to play a guy with Gerard's physique. But I don't
:11:14. > :11:20.think I have the same commitment. And I take my hat off to that.
:11:20. > :11:26.when you don't have a movie, do you let it go? It depends what I have
:11:26. > :11:32.coming up next. But I do try and keep in some condition. Because it
:11:32. > :11:37.gets intense, eepgsly with a role like that. And sometimes you let go
:11:37. > :11:43.as intensely. Have you ever met a nice lady and taken your clothes
:11:43. > :11:52.off and she's gone, "Are you the gentleman that was in 300."
:11:52. > :11:58.many times. Oh, really? They ask for their money back!
:11:58. > :12:03.The guys used to come up and say, "It's hard to watch that movie and
:12:03. > :12:10.you've got that body and I have a girlfriend" and I'm thinking, "I
:12:10. > :12:20.don't have a body like that." And literally this is what happens. You
:12:20. > :12:21.
:12:21. > :12:28.see people going, "Oh, there's Gerard...oh, my God, look at that."
:12:28. > :12:33.And they start, "Oh, it's a little chilly, I'll put my T-shirt on."
:12:33. > :12:36.And you're in Coriolanus, the new movie out in January. And it's
:12:36. > :12:42.Shakespeare, but it's very accessible telling of the story,
:12:42. > :12:49.isn't it? Yeah, it's modern-day. We filmed it in Serbia, which seemed
:12:49. > :12:57.very appropriate. And that's what I loved about it. I read it and I
:12:57. > :13:03.thought - I mean it's shake Shakespeare but it's very easy to
:13:03. > :13:12.understand and it's like Hurt Locker. There are incredible battle
:13:12. > :13:17.sequences in it and a lot of political manipulation and
:13:17. > :13:23.incredible intimacy. The first professional engagement I had as an
:13:23. > :13:28.actor was in Coriolanus. So it has sort of come full sickle that I was
:13:28. > :13:34.sent a script. And I was worried because people think Shakespeare is
:13:35. > :13:40.slow, but the pacing of it? You saw it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it turned out
:13:40. > :13:47.really well. It's a very powerful piece. I'm very happy with it.
:13:47. > :13:57.We're going to show you and Ralph Fiennes in one of your fights. It's
:13:57. > :14:35.
:14:35. > :14:42.really intense, a proper fight. It's full on! Talk about
:14:43. > :14:50.Shakespeare being accessible. You don't even have to throifpb any
:14:50. > :14:56.Shakespeare! -- have to listen to any Shakespeare! But taking on
:14:56. > :15:03.Ralph Fiennes in a fight like that, do you think, "I could easily beat
:15:03. > :15:09.the crap out of you?." Yes! No, I was impressed with his toughness.
:15:09. > :15:19.It was two solid days to shoot that sequence and it just became about
:15:19. > :15:20.
:15:20. > :15:25.two guys going at it. And it's all about the imagery. It's quite a
:15:25. > :15:29.homoerotic film. You could look at it that way. I didn't..!
:15:29. > :15:36.If any blokes are watching and looking for a date movie I would
:15:36. > :15:39.say it's a very good one, because the woman will think you're very
:15:39. > :15:47.clever because it's "Shakespeare" but there are a lot of battle
:15:47. > :15:54.scenes. So it's a win-win situation. Another movie out getting a lot of
:15:54. > :16:01.buzz is The Artist. Have any of you seen it? No, I want to see it.
:16:01. > :16:11.a silent movie and one of the stars is a Jack Russell dog named Uggie
:16:11. > :16:37.
:16:37. > :16:47.APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen, please
:16:47. > :17:00.
:17:00. > :17:06.welcome Uggie. Here he comes! Omar is the trainer of Uggie.
:17:06. > :17:13.Hello, Uggie, hello. How are you? Oh, you're so good. He's brilliant
:17:13. > :17:23.in the film. Thank you. He does lots of things. By the way, I hope
:17:23. > :17:33.you didn't find it too upsetting, Gerard, the surfing. It was quite
:17:33. > :17:34.
:17:34. > :17:44.theraputic. There's a bit in the movie, when the guns go bang.
:17:44. > :17:53.
:17:53. > :17:59.I've had an idea. Since he can do the skateboarding thing and he can
:17:59. > :18:04.do falling. Maybe it would help Gerard through his traumatic memory
:18:04. > :18:14.of the surfing accident if Uggie could relive it for him. Yes, he
:18:14. > :18:23.
:18:23. > :18:28.can do all that stuff. Fantastic.. Thank you very much, Sir. We will
:18:28. > :18:38.see you later for the surfing. Ladies and gentlemen, Uggie and
:18:38. > :18:39.
:18:39. > :18:47.Omar. Bye! Ah! How brilliant is that dog.
:18:47. > :18:55.Amazing. Amazing. Was that very emotional watching it for you.
:18:55. > :19:02.it's been helpful. And talking about emotional, Karen Gillan,
:19:02. > :19:07.Doctor Who go boboo, because she go bye bye. When are you out of it?
:19:07. > :19:14.Well, I'm going back next year, and a few more episodes, but it's not
:19:14. > :19:20.yet confirmed when I go. And is it a proper dead? I have no idea.
:19:20. > :19:25.nobody really dies in Doctor Who, do they? Well, I don't know.
:19:25. > :19:35.you a companion for ever, do you think? I would like to be a
:19:35. > :19:40.
:19:40. > :19:45.companion for ever. Because, the Whovians are quite well known for
:19:45. > :19:53.being....Enthusiastic. Thank you! What kind of mad things have you
:19:53. > :19:57.had? Well, there's this one guy who sends post cards from everywhere he
:19:58. > :20:06.goes on holiday and the last postcard I received was from my
:20:06. > :20:11.home town and it said, "I hope to bump into you." He's nice. Call the
:20:11. > :20:19.police! He's in the audience. Why don't you send me post cards?
:20:19. > :20:24.You're going to get them now, daily. You hear stories about fans, and
:20:24. > :20:31.Martin, you're The Hobbit now. apparently. So are you prepared for
:20:31. > :20:37.what is going to happen? prepared as...since The Office I've
:20:37. > :20:42.had ten years of interest and stuff. But we were on holiday in venteo
:20:42. > :20:49.earlier in the year and I realised this time next year I might not
:20:49. > :20:55.be...you know what I mean? There are probably most places where The
:20:55. > :21:02.Hobbit won't have been seen. Although I hear Eritrea is a lovely
:21:02. > :21:09.place. I'm joking. And the fans attract the interest and you go to
:21:09. > :21:13.the big conventions, but Gerard Butler, you have your own Gerard
:21:13. > :21:20.Butler conventions. And I think we're seeing who is behind them.
:21:21. > :21:28.More than a lucky guess, Martin Freeman. So these are real?
:21:28. > :21:33.Apparently so, yeah. Yeah, they've had them in Glasgow, in Vegas
:21:33. > :21:43.and..It's Vegas the one that we belong to. Sorry, what is your name,
:21:43. > :21:50.
:21:50. > :21:58.lady? Moira. How many people go? About 100. Moira, you could have
:21:58. > :22:06.talked it up a bit! We weren't going to do a head count.
:22:06. > :22:10.We weren't going to check. You could have gone with 500. 300.
:22:10. > :22:14.Hurrah! This isn't live, there's still time
:22:14. > :22:22.to change it! Well, next time we'll all go. It
:22:22. > :22:31.will be great. So, listen, Karen, already you've got something new.
:22:31. > :22:41.Yes. BBC Four later this month we'll see We'll Take Manhattan.
:22:41. > :22:47.And there you are. And it's based around a photo shoot. Yes, a photo
:22:47. > :22:53.shoot for Vogue magazine in 1962 and how they changed the face of
:22:53. > :23:02.fashion and had an explosive love affair along the way. And both of
:23:02. > :23:08.them are still alive. Yes. And Jean saw it and really liked it and left
:23:08. > :23:12.a voicemail saying she thought it was really accurate. So that was
:23:12. > :23:19.the best complement I could have got. Because you were a model.
:23:19. > :23:25.a couple of years, yeah. So did this make you miss it or "thank God
:23:25. > :23:30.I don't do that any more." Yeah. You didn't like it at all? It was
:23:30. > :23:36.an OK way to earn money because I was working in a pub before that.
:23:36. > :23:45.But it wasn't inspiring. There was a couple of things I had to do,
:23:45. > :23:52.like put a bucket over my head. were asked, as a model, to put a
:23:52. > :23:59.bucket over your head? It was for the shoes. Oh, the shoes. So there
:23:59. > :24:06.weren't any distractions. As if a bucket..oh, look at the shoes!
:24:06. > :24:16.Nigh this is you in a clip, this is you and your co-star, who is
:24:16. > :24:25.
:24:25. > :24:35.Jean. Head up. A bit more. Yeah, down the bear. That's it. Give us a
:24:35. > :24:36.
:24:36. > :24:41.profile. Yeah, up a bit. Too much. Into the light. Little smile. Oh,
:24:41. > :24:51.come on, that's not the way you looked at me at three in the
:24:51. > :24:52.
:24:52. > :24:59.morning. That's it! Done. Done? We're done. What's
:24:59. > :25:04.next? Can we have a cup of coffee, I'm freezing my tits off here.
:25:04. > :25:08.hasn't even brought out a tripod. We haven't done anything we wanted
:25:08. > :25:15.to do. Was that OK? Yeah, yeah, of course.
:25:15. > :25:20.Taxi! Congratulations, Martin Freeman,
:25:20. > :25:24.Sherlock is back. It was brilliant the last time, but it's better.
:25:24. > :25:31.Thanks. We're really genuinely pleased and excited about it.
:25:31. > :25:38.you only make three at a time. They're very good. They're 90
:25:38. > :25:43.minutes, what do you want, blood? Six? But it's like three feature
:25:43. > :25:48.films. And when you watch them, each one is like a very good
:25:49. > :25:54.feature film. I hope so, thanks. But will you be able to make any
:25:55. > :26:00.more because you're in the biggest movie, The Hobbit. Yes, and there
:26:00. > :26:04.he is. Is that your life taken over now?
:26:04. > :26:10.Yes, for a certain amount of time, yes. But the hope is, the plan is,
:26:10. > :26:16.we will do a third series of Sherlock. Oh, fantastic taskic.
:26:16. > :26:21.There's certainly more to do and I would like to do it. It's one of
:26:21. > :26:26.the things I've thought, ever that I would like to do it. It's
:26:26. > :26:30.certainly a nice way to spend your time. It seems to me that Dr Watson
:26:30. > :26:35.is a character that women would be drawn to because they want to take
:26:35. > :26:41.care of him. Have you had more attention since it? I'm aware that
:26:41. > :26:45.there is some of that going on. Aware how? It's weird because I've
:26:45. > :26:55.spent most of the year in New Zealand so it's not been first-hand.
:26:55. > :26:59.
:26:59. > :27:06.But you know, I've got a computer. That's really dodgy. I know. It is.
:27:06. > :27:14.Listen, we're very excited. We've got an exclusive clip from next
:27:14. > :27:20.Sunday's episode. You don't say a lot in it. But then you don't say a
:27:21. > :27:28.lot. Fuck you, I won a BAFTA. You're very good. But you do a lot
:27:28. > :27:34.of listening. Acting is listening, lovey. Yes. You know that. I was
:27:34. > :27:38.very bad at it. You do some talking in this, but there's quite a lot of
:27:38. > :27:43.lining. Yes, but watch the listening. It's good listening.
:27:43. > :27:48.Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes and ears on the listening of
:27:48. > :27:58.the BAFTA-award winning Martin Freeman.
:27:58. > :28:02.
:28:02. > :28:09.How on earth did you notice that. not now Sherlock. Traces the
:28:09. > :28:14.ketchup around your lips and on your sleeve. Probably a sandwich.
:28:14. > :28:24.How did you know it was disappointing? Is there any other
:28:24. > :28:26.
:28:26. > :28:32.type of breakfast. Now, I believe Uggie the dog is
:28:32. > :28:39.ready backstage to help Gerard come to terms with his surfing trauma.
:28:39. > :28:49.Uggie, are thru? Oh, look at his little board shorts!
:28:49. > :28:51.
:28:51. > :29:01.Waves on. Can he stand? Oh, he can.
:29:01. > :29:01.
:29:01. > :29:06.There he goes. Oh! I hate to say it but he's a better
:29:06. > :29:12.surfer that I am. Time for our musical act tonight. This man left
:29:12. > :29:17.behind one of the most iconic bands in British pop history to storm
:29:17. > :29:27.back to the top of the charts as a solo artist. Please welcome Noel
:29:27. > :29:41.
:29:41. > :29:50.I stupidly said you're a solo artist, but you're not, you're in a
:29:50. > :29:55.band? No, I'm not. I've just got a name. It's Noel Gallagher's High
:29:55. > :30:00.Flying Birds. That's the name of the band, but it's just me. It's
:30:00. > :30:05.all about you? Always. Congratulations it went to number
:30:05. > :30:10.one. It's better than number two. But gratifying. Well, if there's a
:30:10. > :30:19.chart, you might as well be top of it. These are wise words. It was
:30:19. > :30:24.great. I went to number one the day that City beat United 6-16789 an
:30:24. > :30:30.unbelievable day. And I was watching the game and got the phone
:30:30. > :30:37.call at the same time and I was like, "Brilliant..." but... So the
:30:37. > :30:44.day was one of the best days I've ever had in my entire life.
:30:44. > :30:51.Do any of you know each other? met Martin before. I've never..I
:30:51. > :30:56.know of these two. I've seen his...I know her, she's Doctor Who.
:30:56. > :31:06.I've actually seen his film once, you know 300 and I did what most
:31:06. > :31:07.
:31:07. > :31:14.men do watching it going.... I'm going to the gym. Gerard, you're a
:31:14. > :31:20.fan of Noel's aren't you? Big time. Oh...yeah. Is there a story about
:31:20. > :31:30.that. Did you know on my birthday I sang Wonder Wall. Yeah, I did know
:31:30. > :31:32.
:31:33. > :31:42.that. That's why... He's on, you're a fan, what could be the link!
:31:43. > :31:43.
:31:43. > :31:46.my song, I love it. Oh, no. It's my song! And didn't you do something
:31:46. > :31:51.the same time the record was finished? On the first day of
:31:51. > :31:56.recording, I got to the studio. I'd had about a year off and I got to
:31:56. > :32:03.the studio and I was just about to put a bass down on the first track
:32:03. > :32:08.and the phone went and it was Sarah and she said, "I've got news" and I
:32:08. > :32:16.was like "oh!" and I thought it could be anything. And she said,
:32:16. > :32:22."I'm pregnant" and I was like, wow, I'd better get a crack on. It took
:32:22. > :32:28.obviously nine months for my son, and I finished my album just at the
:32:28. > :32:34.same time to prove the theory that they're equally important. She
:32:34. > :32:40.doesn't agree with that. And nor will he. They're the only two
:32:40. > :32:45.things that take nine months. is it difficult to juggle you being
:32:45. > :32:55.a dad and being a superstar? It's amazing. The more kids you have,
:32:55. > :32:56.
:32:56. > :33:02.the more work you want to do. There's your manager saying, you've
:33:02. > :33:08.never been to Mogadishu. We need to play for the Tamil Tigers. Is that
:33:08. > :33:11.why you recorded some of the album in. And LA? Well, I have an
:33:11. > :33:17.American producer and he hated England. It was at this time of the
:33:17. > :33:22.year and I think he walked in a block and he didn't see a star
:33:22. > :33:28.bucks and the sun was...and he hated it. And he got back on the
:33:28. > :33:34.plane and said if you want to work with me come to LA. And I thought
:33:34. > :33:39."I could think of worse places to work" I love the perform trees.
:33:39. > :33:43.this time round you met a very important person, a VIP. Oh, yeah.
:33:43. > :33:48.I'd been staying in the same hotel for three months on and off and I
:33:48. > :33:54.was walking through the reception and the manager came out and said,
:33:54. > :34:01."Mr Gallagher can you have a word" and I was like, "Oh, what" and he
:34:01. > :34:06.said, "In the office" and I was like, "Have I been smoking in the
:34:06. > :34:13.room again?" and he said, "I don't want to alarm you, but over the
:34:14. > :34:20.weekend you may get a visit from the Secret Service." And I took my
:34:20. > :34:24.sunglasses off and say, "What?" and he said, "The American Secret
:34:24. > :34:30.Service" and I'd just got a computer for Christmas and I kind
:34:30. > :34:37.of hack away with it and try to work it and I was thinking "have I
:34:37. > :34:45.sent something?" is this like one of those Thunderbird's big screens
:34:45. > :34:50."what's that?" and I was, like, "The Secret Service?" and he said
:34:50. > :34:56."they're coming in with a very special guest and he usually takes
:34:57. > :35:06.up the whole of the top floor but I told him there was a celebrity from
:35:06. > :35:16.England here and I can't move him" and I said, "Who is it?" thinking
:35:16. > :35:16.
:35:16. > :35:21.Obama, or Elton John and he said, "It's the King of Tonga." And I was,
:35:21. > :35:29.leek, what? So there was just me and him on the whole of this floor
:35:29. > :35:35.and the CIA. When I finally got to meet the King, I probably watch too
:35:35. > :35:40.much Scooby-Doo. But I thought he would have a grass skirt on. I did.
:35:40. > :35:45.And he kind of got into the lift when I was there, and he's like
:35:45. > :35:54.some kind of guy from Buckinghamshire. And I was like
:35:54. > :35:58."where are the drums." Did he tell you, "I'm the King of Tonga"?
:35:58. > :36:06.had a T-shirt on. So, listen, what track are you
:36:06. > :36:11.singing for us tonight? I'm going to sing for you If I Had A Gun off
:36:11. > :36:18.my new record. Very good. Is this the one that your son has done the
:36:18. > :36:26.alternative words to? Yes, the lyrics go if I had a gun I'd shoot
:36:26. > :36:32.a hole into the sun. His words were "if I had a gun I'd shoot a hole
:36:32. > :36:38.into your bum." I see a future there. A chip off the old block.
:36:38. > :36:43.He's special for sure. OK, so if you want to go over there and get
:36:44. > :36:50.ready. Noel Gallagher. In a moment, we'll be hearing our first stories
:36:50. > :37:00.of the New Year but, first, performing If I Had A Gun, it is Mr
:37:00. > :37:03.
:37:03. > :37:07.Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds. # If I had a gun I'd shoot a hole
:37:07. > :37:14.into the sun # And I would burn this city down
:37:14. > :37:19.for you # If I had the time I'd stop the
:37:19. > :37:29.world and make you mine # And every day would stay the same
:37:29. > :37:36.
:37:36. > :37:42.with you # Oooooh #
:37:42. > :37:49.# If you had a dream I'd show you now what it would mean
:37:49. > :37:55.# For the tears you cry would fade away...away
:37:55. > :38:04.# I'll be by your side when they come to say goodbye,
:38:04. > :38:11.# We will live to fight another day # Excuse me, I spoke too soon
:38:11. > :38:18.# My eyes have already followed you around the room
:38:18. > :38:28.# 'Cos you're the only one # Come and live with me
:38:28. > :38:28.
:38:28. > :38:38.# I'm holding on, holding on to family
:38:38. > :38:50.
:38:50. > :38:57.# Ooooooh # Oooooooh
:38:57. > :39:04.# Oh, I daren't' speak too soon # My eyes have always followed you
:39:04. > :39:10.around the room # 'Cos you're the only guide that I
:39:10. > :39:15.will ever need # I'm holding on, waiting for the
:39:15. > :39:25.moment # For my heart to be unbroken by
:39:25. > :39:27.
:39:28. > :39:34.the seams # Aaaaah
:39:34. > :39:40.Hello # Let me fly into the moon
:39:40. > :39:46.# My eyes have always followed you # Around the room
:39:46. > :39:55.# 'Cos you're the only guide that I will ever need
:39:55. > :40:05.# I'm holding out and waiting for the moment you find me
:40:05. > :40:11.
:40:11. > :40:15.# Aaaaaah # If I had a gun I'd shoot a hole
:40:15. > :40:25.into the sun # And I would burn this city down
:40:25. > :40:26.
:40:26. > :40:34.for you # Noel Gallagher, ladies and
:40:34. > :40:41.gentlemen! Congratulations. Thank you very
:40:41. > :40:45.much. Take a seat there.
:40:45. > :40:55.We've just got time before we go tonight for our storyteller in the
:40:55. > :41:05.red chair. Who is up first. Hello. Hi. You, the lady in the chair.
:41:05. > :41:05.
:41:05. > :41:11.We're doing this bit now. Sorry. What's your name, nice lady? Ann.
:41:11. > :41:17.What do you do? I'm a hypnotherapist. You see, now we're
:41:17. > :41:24.all interested. Have you been to one? Yes, I have. I won't ask for
:41:24. > :41:32.why, but did it work? For a little while. It worked for a little while,
:41:32. > :41:39.Ann. She's kept the receipt. Where do you live? In Bracknell in
:41:39. > :41:46.Berkshire. I'm strangely hypnotised already. Gerard's loving it. I've
:41:46. > :41:56.been hypnotised to forget her name. Ann. Off you go. Several years ago
:41:56. > :42:01.I used to ride an Arab stallion in the desert. Hello!
:42:01. > :42:06.Ann, can I just say if this story continues on this level, we're
:42:06. > :42:10.loving it. That's a brilliant first line to a story. OK, so you're
:42:10. > :42:14.riding an Arab stallion in the desert. Yes, and I was always told
:42:14. > :42:24.to avoid the wild horses in the desert but on this occasion I
:42:24. > :42:26.
:42:26. > :42:33.didn't notice them coming up. So as they approached one of the mares
:42:33. > :42:37.wHinnied to my stallion. He pricked up his ears. In fact, he pricked up
:42:37. > :42:46.everything. And she seemed willing, so he decided to have his wicked
:42:46. > :42:51.way with her. With you on top? me on top! Wow! There was nowhere
:42:51. > :43:01.for me to go, because the other wild horses were still around us so
:43:01. > :43:01.
:43:01. > :43:11.I decided the safest place to be was in the saddle. So to speak!
:43:11. > :43:18.
:43:18. > :43:24.Thank God you weren't on the mare. Wow! You need your own hypnotherapy
:43:24. > :43:31.after this. So go on. I'm hanging on for dear life and he finally
:43:31. > :43:38.satisfies himself so he dismounts and I rode him back to the stables
:43:38. > :43:45.with a very big grin on his face. Is that the end of it? Yes. Oh!
:43:45. > :43:53.Well done, everyone. If you'd like to join us in the red chair, go on-
:43:53. > :44:00.line at this address. Thank you so much for everyone on the show. Noel