0:00:02 > 0:00:05'And you join us for the final of the Chatshow Olympics 2012.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08'There's the favourite, Graham Norton.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11'He's just going through his pre-race ritual.
0:00:11 > 0:00:13'On your marks, get set...'
0:00:13 > 0:00:16GUN FIRES
0:00:16 > 0:00:19It's a personal best! Let's start the show!
0:00:19 > 0:00:21APPLAUSE
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Thank you very much.
0:00:40 > 0:00:45So proud, so proud. I am shattered.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Ten years of training went into that, ladies and gentlemen.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51I would've been quicker, but I did it four times in rehearsal.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53It's been a great series
0:00:53 > 0:00:58and here's a little look back at some of my favourite guests.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00I wonder who's up first?
0:01:00 > 0:01:02CHEERING
0:01:09 > 0:01:12We're here for a while. Pace yourselves.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17I don't know how to sit on this couch. It's like a hot dog bun.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19You're a lovely filling.
0:01:20 > 0:01:26- Can you remember when you weren't Madonna?- No.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30You know, the persona, Madonna. Can you remember what it felt like,
0:01:30 > 0:01:34to not be the focus of every room you walk into?
0:01:34 > 0:01:40I do. I really enjoy environments where I feel anonymous.
0:01:40 > 0:01:41When does that happen?
0:01:41 > 0:01:45When I just was on my skiing holiday, actually.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50I was wearing a mask, completely covering my face and goggles
0:01:50 > 0:01:53and so I could ride the ski lift and nobody knew it was me.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Other people watching this now... - People were cutting in front of me and stabbing me
0:01:56 > 0:01:59with their ski poles.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02That's our lives!
0:02:02 > 0:02:04It was a holiday for you.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08APPLAUSE
0:02:10 > 0:02:14I think it's more important that you've named your dog after me.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Now I didn't name my dog after you.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Really, I heard you did. This is how rumours get started.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22My dog IS called Madge. But...
0:02:25 > 0:02:28LAUGHTER What does that mean?
0:02:28 > 0:02:30It was a rescue dog, right...
0:02:30 > 0:02:33LAUGHTER
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Wait! It was a rescue dog.
0:02:35 > 0:02:41When I went to the rescue place, they'd already called her Madonna.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45I thought I can't have a dog called Madonna.
0:02:45 > 0:02:46So I called her Madge.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Does that help you separate things?
0:02:49 > 0:02:53I've got two dogs, so what was I going to call the other one? Mm, Madonna.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56- What's your other dog's name? - Bailey.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Not Gaga?!
0:02:58 > 0:03:01LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Welcome to all three of you.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07We're excited to see all three of you,
0:03:07 > 0:03:11but I happen to know that Cameron, you're excited to see Sir David.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- I am so excited.- Really?- Yes, I am.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18I told them back stage that we were making a Sir David Attenborough sandwich.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22He's the meat in the middle.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24I'll leave you to it!
0:03:25 > 0:03:29We're his slices of bread, you know what I'm saying?
0:03:29 > 0:03:34She's a nice French stick and I'm a wholemeal Hovis,
0:03:34 > 0:03:37little bits of grit in it!
0:03:37 > 0:03:38You wanted to be a zoologist?
0:03:38 > 0:03:42I wanted to be a zoologist. That's what I thought I was going to be my entire life.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I wanted to study...
0:03:47 > 0:03:48I could teach you all sorts of things.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I've learned a lot from you already.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Things I picked up on back stage, we won't mention those.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01I studied the behaviour of animals and it happened to be human animals.
0:04:01 > 0:04:06As an actor that's what I do, study human behaviour.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- And lots of discoveries?- Yes. - Big surprises?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Big surprises.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- I've found so much from your show. - Really?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17You should see the outtakes.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Maybe we can arrange a viewing? - Yes, any time.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Kathy, do you watch Sir David? - Yeah, I do. I watch David...
0:04:27 > 0:04:29APPLAUSE
0:04:34 > 0:04:38- It's incredible given that you have this- phenomenal- film career
0:04:38 > 0:04:41that Fresh Prince doesn't go away.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46Every country in the world, that is the thing that I am most known for,
0:04:46 > 0:04:52no matter how big the movies get, it's the Fresh Prince everywhere.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Does that bug you?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Listen, man, as long as they're screaming "Will" I'm cool!
0:04:57 > 0:05:03- Famously you performed the title rap.- Yes.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07Which I happen to know everyone knows.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Everyone knows...
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Including me.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23- So let me hand this over. - Oh, jeez.- It's quite heavy.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24Here you go, Gary.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Oh, goodness!
0:05:27 > 0:05:30APPLAUSE
0:05:30 > 0:05:34You've probably seen some musicians before,
0:05:34 > 0:05:37but get ready my friend.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39LAUGHTER
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Hit the track.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43FRESH PRINCE THEME MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:43 > 0:05:44# This is a story all about how
0:05:44 > 0:05:46# My life got flipped turned upside down
0:05:46 > 0:05:49# I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,
0:05:49 > 0:05:54# And tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56GARY PLAYS RIFF
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Whoo!
0:06:00 > 0:06:04# In West Philadelphia born and raised,
0:06:04 > 0:06:06# On the playground is where I spent most of my days
0:06:06 > 0:06:08# Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool
0:06:08 > 0:06:11# And all shootin' some b-ball outside of school
0:06:11 > 0:06:12# When a couple of guys who were up to no good
0:06:12 > 0:06:15# Startin' making trouble in my neighbourhood
0:06:15 > 0:06:17# I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
0:06:17 > 0:06:20# She said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air!"
0:06:20 > 0:06:22# I whistled for a cab and when it came near
0:06:22 > 0:06:24# The licence plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
0:06:24 > 0:06:27# If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
0:06:27 > 0:06:30# But I thought, "Man, forget it" - "Yo home to Bel Air!"
0:06:30 > 0:06:34# I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
0:06:34 > 0:06:36# And I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!"
0:06:36 > 0:06:39# I looked to my kingdom I was finally there
0:06:39 > 0:06:42# To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air! #
0:06:42 > 0:06:45APPLAUSE
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Very good!
0:06:57 > 0:07:01APPLAUSE DROWNS CHAT
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Wow!
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Next tour.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06That's the opener!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Mmmmmmg...
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Don't make fun, it's taken me all week!
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Listen, before we get onto other things,
0:07:23 > 0:07:27I want to gossip really, Cheryl did the Jubilee concert for the Queen.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31By the way, were you asked to do it?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33No, I wasn't.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35In the papers we heard a rumour Prince Harry...
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Your papers never lie (!) - No.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42This is the nice thing, they said Prince Harry asked for you by name.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Prince Harry, he's a hot ginger, isn't he?
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Are you sure he asked for her to perform though?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52I don't know "Bring me Katy Perry."
0:07:52 > 0:07:56It is Harry. He likes the ladies.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I'd be open to that.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02You were chatting at the party, weren't you?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04You and Prince Harry? Get off my man!
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Princess Cheryl.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13That would be the best wedding ever! Do it, go on!
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Come on!
0:08:16 > 0:08:17I would consider Prince Harry.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Do it. Oh, do!
0:08:20 > 0:08:23It would cheer people up so much.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28If you don't like her, call me!
0:08:29 > 0:08:32You did tweet good pictures of yourself at the Jubilee celebrations.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37There's you with Will. 1. Is!
0:08:40 > 0:08:43I love the fact you've out-royalled him with your outfit as well.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Who is that gentleman?
0:08:49 > 0:08:55- That's Prince William.- It never is. - Come on, Miriam.- All grown up.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Is that really Prince William?
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- Not the black one!- No, the black one's you. I know that!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11- I didn't realise that was Prince Williams.- Prince William.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18But he's bald in that picture.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21That was a flash because it was his phone.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24A lot of things are getting lost up there on the top.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27You can't really see the top of my head there either.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33Matter of fact, that whole entire black area is my afro!
0:09:33 > 0:09:36APPLAUSE
0:09:39 > 0:09:40You look very nice but I thought
0:09:40 > 0:09:45you're a Scot you might be sporting the kilt on the red carpet?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- No.- Do you ever do the kilt? - Yes, I've done the kilt.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- On the red carpet? - No, not on the red carpet. - You should do it.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54People are going "Yes, you have."
0:09:56 > 0:09:59In Glasgow? Oh, I did! Oh, God!
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Do you want to answer these questions for me?
0:10:09 > 0:10:10This lady here. Basically, did you move to America?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12She's from Scotland.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14But just goes wherever I go.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16That lady with the glasses?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19She knows the answers better than I do.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23If I'm saying anything wrong, you'll keep me in line.
0:10:23 > 0:10:24Apparently, she will.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Minutes into the show, "Yes you have!"
0:10:32 > 0:10:38I wore a kilt at my sister's wedding in Paisley, Scotland.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39I had to go up and do a reading.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42My mother and the family were in the front row.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Of course, as you know in Scotland,
0:10:44 > 0:10:46there's a certain rule to wearing the kilts.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50I'm sitting like this and everybody's kneeling forward
0:10:50 > 0:10:52at the podium and my mum is looking at me.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55And she's doing this and she's going...
0:10:58 > 0:11:01I think that she's telling me to pray.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02The whole congregation is watching me.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05I'm like this, I'm looking at her and I go like this.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09She's like...
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Then I realise everybody is staring right up my...
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Oooh!
0:11:16 > 0:11:17I'm like this. I go...
0:11:25 > 0:11:28That's why I always regret when I've worn kilts.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29It's always a disaster.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33Wasn't there a thing where you had a medical emergency on Cranford
0:11:33 > 0:11:35when you were in full garb?
0:11:35 > 0:11:35Oh, a tooth?
0:11:35 > 0:11:39During a scene I had to say, "And look at the..."
0:11:44 > 0:11:50I said, it's my tooth. My tooth's come out.
0:11:52 > 0:11:53So they said, well, we'll get you organised.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55We were out at Ealing.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59So they said, yes, the dentist will see you.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03They said, "Unfortunately, there isn't time
0:12:03 > 0:12:06"for you to get out of all this, and this, and this, and this.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10"You have to just go as you are."
0:12:10 > 0:12:11So I did.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15I went down to the surgery and I walked in.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17They said, he'll be coming now.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Nobody took a blind bit of notice of me.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22And he said, "Oh, right."
0:12:23 > 0:12:25"Just come and sit back here."
0:12:25 > 0:12:28So, I lay back and he said, "Open your mouth."
0:12:28 > 0:12:33He said, "Are you working at all, these days?"
0:12:39 > 0:12:43I was on a French train, just after Four Weddings had come out.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I didn't realise...
0:12:45 > 0:12:46People were being very nice to me.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48French people kept saying, "We love your film."
0:12:48 > 0:12:50I'd say, "Thank you, that's very nice."
0:12:50 > 0:12:53I'd find myself going to a some film festival.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56And I had a terrible pain in my arse.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I thought, this is uncool. I'm nodding at everyone.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03But my arse is killing me.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06It occurred to me I might have haemorrhoids.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09I thought, "Oh, God, it's my first pile."
0:13:09 > 0:13:11"It's bound to come at some point. This'll be it."
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I became fixated. I had to see this thing.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16It's so painful.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19So I went to the loo on this very modern TGV French train.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23I thought, "I've got to look at my arse."
0:13:23 > 0:13:26It's a very, very difficult thing to do.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28I finally found the only way was to stand on the loo seat,
0:13:28 > 0:13:33pull my arse cheeks as wide apart as I could, and look back through my legs.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36And I actually got quite a good view.
0:13:36 > 0:13:42And at that point I realised I'd not mastered the lock on the door.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45One of these incredibly nice French people,
0:13:45 > 0:13:47who'd been nice about my film came in and saw me,
0:13:47 > 0:13:48for some reason...
0:13:54 > 0:13:55It was a bad moment. Bad.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Terrible.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03Perhaps most telling of all of how successful Mad Men is,
0:14:03 > 0:14:05it has spawned its own range of Barbies.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Isn't that weird, that Barbie would make a doll a man who smokes,
0:14:12 > 0:14:13and drinks and shags around?
0:14:15 > 0:14:18It seems off-message. It seems kind of off-brand.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21You don't want to leave that doll around any other dolls.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26It will get very, very inappropriate, very quickly.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29"Raggedy Ann is crying."
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Sorry sweetheart.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Don't call.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42This one is Liam's.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44And then we've also got...
0:14:46 > 0:14:47Oh, wait a minute!
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Size isn't everything!
0:14:54 > 0:14:55- I've got no legs.- You do have legs!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57It's very exciting, because there's a lighting thing.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00When you see it, you'll be impressed.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01OK. So, you're a money box.
0:15:04 > 0:15:05- OK.- He'll have your eye out!
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Be wary. I sense a disturbance in the force.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Concentrate on the moment.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Feel, don't think.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Use your instincts.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24May the force be with you.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30That's impressive!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Never ending, isn't it?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Wow!
0:15:41 > 0:15:43That's one.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Is that it?
0:16:04 > 0:16:05At least do it again!
0:16:06 > 0:16:08It probably gets better.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Oh!
0:16:21 > 0:16:24Zac, I like the way your friends use your fame
0:16:24 > 0:16:28as like a joke, like a game.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Oh, gosh. Yes, they do.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Yeah, they do.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36We have a lot of fun, my friends mess with it a lot.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37We can't take it too seriously.
0:16:37 > 0:16:42I'm just the same dude that they always knew that I grew up with.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45We drive around and, if I'm riding shot gun,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48if we pull up next to a bunch of girls in the car,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52they always roll down the music and turn on a High School Musical track
0:16:52 > 0:16:53at a red light.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57And I just stare forward, like nothing's going on.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00But we see how long it takes them to notice.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Some of them know the song and go, "Great song!"
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Then my friends start going "Yeah, it's him. It's him."
0:17:11 > 0:17:14They look at me and I go, "No, it's not."
0:17:14 > 0:17:16They go, "Is it really?" I go, "No, no."
0:17:19 > 0:17:22"It is! It is!"
0:17:22 > 0:17:23When do you guys do that? Can I get in on that?
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Yeah. I've got no plans.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32If we combine forces... If WE combine forces.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40Don't touch me, Zac Efron! I don't want to come in your crappy little car, play your music
0:17:40 > 0:17:42and have people screaming at me, thank you.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46Having said that, I am free on Sunday and Monday.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51You know what happened to me? This happened a long time ago.
0:17:51 > 0:17:52I was on the 101 heading to work one morning.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54We were shooting Friends.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56It was gridlocked traffic.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Nobody was going anywhere.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01I look out the window there's a girl in the car next to me.
0:18:01 > 0:18:06She's rocking out to some song. It was when the Friends theme song was number one on the radio.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I put the window down to hear what she was listening to.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10I realise what she's listening to.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13She looks over at me, sees me, freaks out,
0:18:13 > 0:18:16takes her foot off the brake, slams into the car in front.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20I can't go anywhere, so I just put the window up.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25I felt like such an ass.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I did What The Butler Saw in Salisbury Playhouse,
0:18:32 > 0:18:33one of my first jobs out.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38There's a scene, I had to jump up naked behind a sofa,
0:18:38 > 0:18:42I've got a policeman's helmet covering my bits and bobs,
0:18:42 > 0:18:43and run off.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46In Salisbury, it was the blue rinse brigade down there.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Once I didn't quite cover myself.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49There was this noise...
0:18:51 > 0:18:54800 old ladies, it was such a great noise,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56that I never covered myself properly again.
0:18:58 > 0:19:03One night, there was a flower vase on the set,
0:19:03 > 0:19:05and for some reason there was water in it.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Like, why would there be water in it?
0:19:07 > 0:19:09It's a play, it's not real.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Anyway, it had spilt and I didn't know.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13So I got up from behind the sofa, slightly revealing myself,
0:19:13 > 0:19:18I ran and hit the water and I landed right on my back like this,
0:19:18 > 0:19:22with a helmet, and I shot towards the audience.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28This woman had my arsehole coming at her like that.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36There is a lot of discussion on the Internet
0:19:36 > 0:19:37about what Beez In The Trap means.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40Can you be definitive, Nicki Minaj?
0:19:42 > 0:19:43Ooh, what should I say?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Let me think.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Beez, is the letter B, for boys?
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Or is it bees, as in buzzy bees?
0:19:51 > 0:19:55No, it just means that, you know, it's saying I am always,
0:19:55 > 0:19:56you know that's our slang way of saying...
0:19:56 > 0:20:00You know, we be like, "I beez doing such and such."
0:20:01 > 0:20:04So it's really like, "I'm always in the trap."
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Now the trap, ladies and gentleman,
0:20:07 > 0:20:11relates to anywhere that you get your money. So you're in the trap right now, Playboy.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Oh, yeah!
0:20:13 > 0:20:16You in the trap right now.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18APPLAUSE
0:20:21 > 0:20:23I Bs in the trap.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27I Bs in the trap.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32When did you last get called playboy? I love it!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Can I just say, I'm very down with this
0:20:38 > 0:20:41because I've been reading my nikktionary.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:20:44 > 0:20:47I have, yeah. Let's find it. It's on here.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50It's all you on here.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53So like strawberry short cake, if I hit that.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56"Word. Strawberry short cake, noun.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00"Definition: a broke bitch.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03"Definition: one who loses sight of her goals and her cake
0:21:03 > 0:21:06"by focusing on beef and negativity."
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Yeah, you strawberry shortcake.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10LAUGHTER
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Later on this year, Asterix and Obelix, your good self, is back.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- This time you shot it in Ireland. - Yes.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25You were in all the papers. You were going to Ireland, weren't you?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- You were flying to Ireland. - Yes, I pee on the plane, yes.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- Did you really?- Yes.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38I thought you were going to tell us a story...
0:21:38 > 0:21:40No, it never happened.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- So you did pee on a plane? - Of course.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Because you can't stop when you have some...
0:21:47 > 0:21:49When you want to pee, please, go pee.
0:21:52 > 0:21:58Nobody can stop you, if you want to pee because you can die.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01I was hurry, I say please.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05This is not my mind.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10This is organic thing, you know.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13She said, "No." I said, "Give me a bottle."
0:22:13 > 0:22:17And I pee on the plane and she said, "Aahhh!"
0:22:21 > 0:22:23I said, "Don't worry, I will clean it."
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- Too much for the bottle. - Too much, yes.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29APPLAUSE
0:22:29 > 0:22:30That can happen.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Now are the girls good at school
0:22:34 > 0:22:37because you weren't very good at school.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40They're horrible. No, they're great.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42They're smarter than me.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45- I can't help them with their homework any more.- At ten?- At ten!
0:22:47 > 0:22:50- I dropped out.- What, at nine?
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Yeah! My story, at the coal mines.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59There's a website that collects together the detention slips
0:22:59 > 0:23:02that kids receive, the bits to show their parents.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03There's lots of reasons.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07There's some classics of the genre in here.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10"He was disrupting the class claiming to be the reborn Jesus
0:23:10 > 0:23:13"and hitting the other students with the Bible."
0:23:13 > 0:23:15APPLAUSE
0:23:15 > 0:23:17Prove it isn't true!
0:23:17 > 0:23:20How do you know he wasn't the risen Jesus?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Jesus has got detention now.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25This is a teacher who sent this through.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Remember, this is real, a teacher really typed this letter
0:23:28 > 0:23:32and gave it to a child to take home to their parents.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35"Alex consistently defied me.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37"During class he contradicted me numerous times.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40"I insisted that the length of one kilometre was greater
0:23:40 > 0:23:42"than that of one mile.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44"Although he was correct..."
0:23:46 > 0:23:48APPLAUSE
0:23:48 > 0:23:51"..Alex's actions show a blatant disregard for authority
0:23:51 > 0:23:55"and complete lack of respect for his school.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58"In the future, Alex should accept my teachings without resistance."
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Isn't that genius?
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Regards... Rommel.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Back to more typical children. "Drew large penis on white board."
0:24:12 > 0:24:14That's amazing.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Now take it as one of those films where one speech becomes legendary.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Even on the poster they used the speech.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26You know, the one when you're on the phone.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28"I don't know who you are..."
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Do you get loads of fans asking to you say that?
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Occasionally I do.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35My eldest boy is at boarding school.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Sometimes he will call up and say,
0:24:37 > 0:24:41"Dad, can you leave a message on Charlie's voice mail?"
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- And do you?- Yeah, I do.- Oh, you do.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Then I can never remember the words.
0:24:50 > 0:24:55Well, listen, we have a special lady in the audience. Now her name is Jo.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Where's Jo? There's Jo.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00You don't know Jo, I don't think.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01- He doesn't know you?- No.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03She claims to be...
0:25:03 > 0:25:05- Oh, God.- No, don't worry.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09She claims to be your first fan.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Oh, yeah?
0:25:10 > 0:25:15Jo contacted us saying she would like you to do something for her.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17Now...
0:25:18 > 0:25:20So basically, she wants...
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Would you leave an answer phone greeting on her phone?
0:25:23 > 0:25:27- Sure, yeah.- Would you? Do you mind?
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- I call... Your phone is off, right? - Yeah.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Otherwise that will be annoying and stupid.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35OK, this should be brilliant.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Hello, this is Jo. Please leave a message.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42- "Please enter your PIN followed by the hash key."- OK.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49"You're on the O2 greetings menu.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52"Please record your personal greeting.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56"To end recording key zero. Start recording, key zero."
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- Read that and press zero again. - Show me where zero is.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- That one.- "Please record your personal greeting."
0:26:02 > 0:26:03PHONE BEEPS
0:26:03 > 0:26:06- Can I start?- Yeah.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08I don't know who you are.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12But if you don't let my daughter go now, I will find you.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14I will kill you. Please leave a message.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17APPLAUSE
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Very good. Let's see if it worked.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25APPLAUSE
0:26:27 > 0:26:29"Greeting saved."
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Let's call it back and see if it was successful.
0:26:31 > 0:26:36"I don't know who you are, if you don't let my daughter go now,
0:26:36 > 0:26:37"I will find you.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42"I will kill you. Please leave a message."
0:26:42 > 0:26:45LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:26:46 > 0:26:49"Please leave your message after the tone."
0:26:49 > 0:26:53Hi, it's Alan Davis here. If you've got my daughter,
0:26:53 > 0:26:55she's two, you can keep her.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I'm going on tour to get away from her. She's a nightmare.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05She's also got chicken pox. Good luck.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Thank you so much for doing that.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14Daniel, do you still get mistaken for Elijah Wood?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Not as often but still quite a lot.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20- You don't look like him any more I don't think.- I don't know.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26I take it back. You look exactly like him.
0:27:26 > 0:27:29I thought that was a picture of you.
0:27:33 > 0:27:39In fact, yeah, I was fortunate enough to meet Elijah and he's a lovely guy.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40Much more disturbing for him
0:27:40 > 0:27:44because I was being recognised as him when he was like in his early 20s.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47He was being recognised as me when I was 13.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51He was a 20-somthing-year-old man going, "No!"
0:27:51 > 0:27:53I signed a photo in Japan
0:27:53 > 0:27:56because somebody gave me a photo of Elijah Wood.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00There is no time in that moment to explain to them
0:28:00 > 0:28:03in a language that is not their first that this is not me.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08So I just wrote, "I am not Elijah Wood. Love, Daniel Radcliffe,"
0:28:10 > 0:28:13..which I thought, when translated, that's a one-off.
0:28:13 > 0:28:18- You got some expert tuition. - Yeah, my abs are just outrageous.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23- You got top tips in the gym. - I got inspired. You go in waves.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29"This is going to be the time when I get in that crazy shape."
0:28:29 > 0:28:34I went to the gym and I was working out and I had chosen a day
0:28:34 > 0:28:36when all of a sudden, randomly,
0:28:36 > 0:28:39Arnold Schwarzenegger walked into the gym.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42I knew I was in the right gym, right?
0:28:46 > 0:28:49I tried to put some more weights on to look more impressive.
0:28:49 > 0:28:53I think he knew the gym owner or something and was taking a tour.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57He approached me and I don't know if he knew me as an actor
0:28:57 > 0:29:00or he was like the governor "Hello, citizen."
0:29:03 > 0:29:06He said, "What are your goals with your work out?"
0:29:09 > 0:29:11APPLAUSE
0:29:13 > 0:29:17I was so inspired but I retreated to this very little boy place.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20I was like, "To be honest, Arnold,
0:29:20 > 0:29:24"I if I could have anything, I'd really like to have...
0:29:24 > 0:29:27"Did you ever see the movie Fight Club?
0:29:27 > 0:29:31"I liked the way Brad Pitt's abs looked in Fight Club.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Without hesitating, he said, "That's all diet.
0:29:34 > 0:29:35"You have to eat a lot of carrots."
0:29:38 > 0:29:40I didn't know. I was like, "OK."
0:29:40 > 0:29:44In my mind, I was like Arnold Schwarzenegger, like Mr Universe...
0:29:46 > 0:29:47What a career!
0:29:47 > 0:29:49So versatile.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54A lot of people don't know that he was also Mr Universe.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56Too many steroids...
0:29:56 > 0:29:59So, I ran home and I bought a shit ton of carrots.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03I was eating them for weeks but nothing ever happened.
0:30:06 > 0:30:10I love how California this is, you swim with dolphins.
0:30:10 > 0:30:15No, well, I've taken up the hobby of scuba-diving, which I really enjoy.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20So I have been shark diving, which is kind of amazing.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23- I had a real close encounter with a shark.- A little shark?
0:30:23 > 0:30:25It wasn't. It was about six feet.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27Did it eat people, that type?
0:30:27 > 0:30:30It wasn't... Why are you trying to diminish my story?
0:30:30 > 0:30:32Right, it's a type of fish. You went near a fish.
0:30:32 > 0:30:36- Let me tell the story. - People do that... That's your story.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38"I was near a fish once."
0:30:38 > 0:30:40LAUGHTER
0:30:40 > 0:30:42It could have eaten her hand.
0:30:42 > 0:30:43Don't clap him!
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Thank you. I love you!
0:30:46 > 0:30:49I'm one of you. I'm here for you.
0:30:49 > 0:30:51I'm going to shit on all of your stories.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54Don't you have rules for swimming with dolphins?
0:30:54 > 0:30:58With dolphins? I heard that you're not supposed to touch a dolphin
0:30:58 > 0:31:03unless they come to you and offer themselves for a rub down.
0:31:03 > 0:31:04Ooh!
0:31:04 > 0:31:07- You're not supposed to touch them.- Why?
0:31:07 > 0:31:10Because dolphins mate for life and if you touch one of them
0:31:10 > 0:31:13the other one can smell your touch and they think
0:31:13 > 0:31:16that you've cheated on them and you can break up a dolphin marriage.
0:31:16 > 0:31:17That is true. That is fact.
0:31:17 > 0:31:21I know, I'm going to have to phone up Sea World directly.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24I've been down one's blow hole.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28Paloma Faith has had a dolphin orgy if that's the case.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33Yeah, I've reckon I've broken up a few dolphin marriages.
0:31:35 > 0:31:39I went to Cuba and I was in a situation where they were like,
0:31:39 > 0:31:41"Do you want to swim with dolphins?"
0:31:41 > 0:31:46They taught me how to sort of be lifted up
0:31:46 > 0:31:47on the nose of two dolphins.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50With your foot on each nose?
0:31:50 > 0:31:54If you think she's making it up, somebody filmed it.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57- That's a good story.- Shut up. - Not, "Oh, I was near a fish once."
0:32:00 > 0:32:02It was a shark!
0:32:02 > 0:32:05It came like that to me. That's not nice.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08Let's have a look at this video. It'll be brilliant, this.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10- This is nice work. I'm well into this.- Now, look.
0:32:10 > 0:32:13- Oh, brilliant!- That's Paloma.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16- Now watch this.- Wow...
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- Whoa!- Wow!
0:32:18 > 0:32:20APPLAUSE
0:32:20 > 0:32:21That's amazing!
0:32:21 > 0:32:25- What a great story.- That is amazing.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28That's brilliant. Well done.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Emily, have you got any footage of you near that fish?
0:32:31 > 0:32:32LAUGHTER
0:32:33 > 0:32:38I think I've done very well to last the whole show, not mentioning...
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Oh, there you are in Boogie Nights.
0:32:40 > 0:32:44Is it true you still have, I'm guessing it was a prosthetic...
0:32:44 > 0:32:46What do you mean?
0:32:46 > 0:32:48LAUGHTER
0:32:48 > 0:32:52It was, it's one of the only props I've ever kept from a film.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Is it on the wall?
0:32:54 > 0:32:57No, no, no. It's locked away in a safe. It's far too valuable.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00What would my kids say if they saw that thing?
0:33:00 > 0:33:03That would be terrible if you came home and found them playing with it.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07Yeah. It was really awkward because I had to go to this prosthesis place.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10I had to stand there and be fitted for it.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12And all these...you know,
0:33:12 > 0:33:15the guys who do the effects on movies are kind of geeky, so they're all,
0:33:15 > 0:33:18(GEEKY VOICE) "Hey..." No offence.
0:33:18 > 0:33:22LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
0:33:22 > 0:33:24I'm sorry, I apologise.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Absolutely furious.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30It was very awkward to have to go there and stand there
0:33:30 > 0:33:33and, like, you know, they're... fiddling with you.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Also, because it needs to fit you... all the time.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Well, you have to have it...
0:33:39 > 0:33:42No, you're not getting hard with this thing. Trust me.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45It's awkward and uncomfortable. I only wore it two days.
0:33:45 > 0:33:49The first time, they had to try different ones.
0:33:49 > 0:33:50They tried various sizes
0:33:50 > 0:33:53and you know, both length and girth.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56It was a big pain in the ass, actually.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02LAUGHTER
0:34:02 > 0:34:04I didn't mean that either.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07I didn't... I meant...
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Cheryl, talking of, I don't know, falling out or a rift or whatever,
0:34:12 > 0:34:15have you kissed and made up with Simon Cowell?
0:34:15 > 0:34:16I wouldn't say kissed.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26I tell you one thing he can kiss.
0:34:26 > 0:34:27Ooh!
0:34:27 > 0:34:30APPLAUSE
0:34:34 > 0:34:36- So...- No, we've made up. We're fine.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38It's not nice having people you don't talk to.
0:34:38 > 0:34:41I'm not that type of person anyway. It's not in my nature.
0:34:41 > 0:34:43So if he was to walk on here now, that wouldn't be awkward?
0:34:43 > 0:34:46No it wouldn't be awkward, it would be quite fun...
0:34:46 > 0:34:49DRUM ROLL
0:34:49 > 0:34:52Oh, my God! That was so scary!
0:34:54 > 0:34:58That was the greatest joke ever!
0:34:58 > 0:35:00You got your revenge on him in Afghanistan, didn't you?
0:35:00 > 0:35:01Oh, did I just!
0:35:02 > 0:35:06That was actually what broke the ice when I first spoke to him.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10- Oh, OK.- Because I went out to Afghanistan to visit the troops
0:35:10 > 0:35:14and they had this whole section where they had explosive devices.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17And they were blowing them up to say how they work.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19When I got there, somebody had dressed one up as Simon.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24It was the best thing and I got to press the button.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26I was the detonator.
0:35:26 > 0:35:29And he just went boom. Then when I came back,
0:35:29 > 0:35:33because you weren't allowed to take a mobile phone or anything out there.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36It's a security risk. I had messages from Simon, saying,
0:35:36 > 0:35:37"Now you've blown us up in Afghanistan,
0:35:37 > 0:35:40"is there any chance we can have this conversation?"
0:35:40 > 0:35:43And that's when I first spoke to him.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Then I hired a plane to fly over his house for his 52nd birthday.
0:35:46 > 0:35:47He's 52, by the way, 53 coming.
0:35:47 > 0:35:51Did it have a big thing hanging off the back, saying "Happy birthday"?
0:35:51 > 0:35:53I heard a rumour from his people, I won't name names,
0:35:53 > 0:35:57but somebody told us he didn't want anybody to know it was his birthday.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01- Perfect opportunity for me to hire a plane.- You were just being nice.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04I was just being nice. You know, "Happy birthday, Simon."
0:36:04 > 0:36:06- That's a lovely thing. - It had a banner trailing off
0:36:06 > 0:36:10saying "Simon is 52 today" and it flew around his house 52 times.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12I love it.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15APPLAUSE
0:36:18 > 0:36:20Do the catchphrases translate?
0:36:20 > 0:36:23If you're walking down the Champs Elysees,
0:36:23 > 0:36:24are people going "Comment ca va?"
0:36:27 > 0:36:30Do you get, like, "Wie geht's"?
0:36:30 > 0:36:33I've run out now. Those are my two. That's all I know.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36I would imagine they try to translate it straight across as they can.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Doesn't your daughter still do it to you?
0:36:39 > 0:36:43Yeah, but you know, my daughter, she's such a chip off the old block.
0:36:43 > 0:36:47My sense of humour is, if I know something irritates you,
0:36:47 > 0:36:50I'm going to play on it and key on it as much as I can.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53So one of my friends taught her when she was little,
0:36:53 > 0:36:57"You have to say to your dad, tell him, 'How YOU doing?'
0:36:57 > 0:36:59"You have to say that."
0:36:59 > 0:37:02CHEERING
0:37:02 > 0:37:05But just to irritate me, she'll say, "How are you doing?"
0:37:07 > 0:37:08She'll look at me like that
0:37:08 > 0:37:11and I say, "No, that's not the way we said it on the show."
0:37:11 > 0:37:15She says, "Yes, it is." "No, it's not, honey, it goes like this."
0:37:15 > 0:37:17"No, it's 'How are you doing?'" "No, it's not."
0:37:17 > 0:37:20We have these long discussions about it
0:37:20 > 0:37:23and I know she knows how to say it right! I'm telling you.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27APPLAUSE
0:37:30 > 0:37:32Footballers in this country have a reputation
0:37:32 > 0:37:35for going wild and out and about. But we don't see you going that mad.
0:37:35 > 0:37:40- You seem to have a nice home life, you and your wife.- Sometimes.
0:37:40 > 0:37:41Oh, OK, fair enough.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47No, but I have a nice family
0:37:47 > 0:37:50and yeah, we're quiet. We don't need to be out there.
0:37:50 > 0:37:56- So you're a footballer who likes consensual sex with one person?- Yes!
0:37:56 > 0:37:59That's really weird.
0:37:59 > 0:38:00It's true! It's true!
0:38:00 > 0:38:03APPLAUSE
0:38:03 > 0:38:06- Thank you.- Controversial.
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- Cos you guys, you grew up, did both of you grow up in Essex?- Yes.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14- Did you go clubbing in the same places?- No.- No.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18- Julie Walters...- What? - Did you meet...
0:38:18 > 0:38:20For God's sake!
0:38:20 > 0:38:22Leave me alone!
0:38:22 > 0:38:24LAUGHTER
0:38:24 > 0:38:26What do you want to know?
0:38:26 > 0:38:31- You met your husband in a club, didn't you?- Mind your own business.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32I don't want to talk about that.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34APPLAUSE
0:38:34 > 0:38:36- Cheers!- Cheers.
0:38:37 > 0:38:40The whole concept of chat show falling apart.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42"Why are you asking me all these questions?"
0:38:42 > 0:38:45For God's sake! I'm tired.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50- But did you go clubbing a lot? - Clubbing?
0:38:50 > 0:38:53- Yes, but back... Yes, I did in Birmingham.- Yes.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Yeah, but what's that got to do with anything now?
0:38:55 > 0:38:58- Isn't that where you met your husband?- No, I met him in a bar.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01- Oh, a bar?- In Fulham, yes. - In Fulham? I didn't...
0:39:01 > 0:39:03It was full of frightfully posh people,
0:39:03 > 0:39:07what we used to call Hooray Henrys. Everybody was frightfully posh.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09I remember saying at the time, I was a bit drunk,
0:39:09 > 0:39:12"I bet nobody here is a member of the Labour Party."
0:39:12 > 0:39:14He said, "I am, actually."
0:39:14 > 0:39:17And that was it. We met and he came home and never moved out.
0:39:19 > 0:39:20He mended my washing machine,
0:39:20 > 0:39:23told me I needed a pump. I misunderstood him.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26And...
0:39:26 > 0:39:29APPLAUSE
0:39:29 > 0:39:32I'm interested in how you put your music together,
0:39:32 > 0:39:36something like, say, The Time open brackets Dirty Bit close brackets,
0:39:36 > 0:39:37were you watching Dirty Dancing
0:39:37 > 0:39:41and kind of went, "I like this song. I might do something with it"?
0:39:41 > 0:39:43No, we were in Ibiza
0:39:43 > 0:39:46and getting ready for a DJ gig.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50And I'm like, "I got to drop something for tonight."
0:39:50 > 0:39:54So me and my home boys Ammo and Apple...
0:39:54 > 0:39:59home boys, meaning people that are close to me, where I feel like...
0:39:59 > 0:40:01- Chums. Chums.- Like a chum, yes.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05So me and few of my chums...
0:40:05 > 0:40:06LAUGHTER
0:40:06 > 0:40:08We were chumming it up.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10And...
0:40:12 > 0:40:17I asked him, "What are we going to play tonight that's unexpected?"
0:40:17 > 0:40:23And he said, "We should mix something from yesterday - old school...
0:40:25 > 0:40:27- "From the old school."- Right.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31- Not elementary. Old school meaning "back in the day."- Back in the day.
0:40:31 > 0:40:36Let's pick something from back in the day and flip it up,
0:40:36 > 0:40:38intertwine it with...
0:40:39 > 0:40:43..today's stuff, I mean, the music.
0:40:43 > 0:40:48So I say,
0:40:48 > 0:40:51"Why don't we use Dirty Dancing?"
0:40:51 > 0:40:53And he replies,
0:40:53 > 0:40:55LAUGHTER
0:40:55 > 0:40:58"That's crazy, we can't use Dirty Dancing."
0:40:58 > 0:41:01I was like, "But that's the whole point.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03You don't say, "I was like, that's the whole point."
0:41:03 > 0:41:05- But I...- You don't say that.
0:41:05 > 0:41:09You say, "That is the whole point." You don't need the like, right?
0:41:10 > 0:41:11By the way, everybody,
0:41:11 > 0:41:15please stop using the word "like".
0:41:15 > 0:41:17- I...I don't like it. - She feels strongly about this.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19How about if I said I like you?
0:41:19 > 0:41:23That's different. You're using it as a verb.
0:41:23 > 0:41:28- I would say, usually I would be like...- "I'd be like."
0:41:28 > 0:41:29You see? It's a habit!
0:41:29 > 0:41:33- No, it's quicker, it's like... - It's not like. It is.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37- It is.- "What are we going to do today?" "I don't know what we're going to do."
0:41:37 > 0:41:39So he was like, and I was like...
0:41:39 > 0:41:42So we put it on the table and it was like, "Bam!"
0:41:42 > 0:41:44Look how fast that was.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46APPLAUSE
0:41:46 > 0:41:48Well, I get what you're saying.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50- It's like...- It's not like.
0:41:50 > 0:41:54While we're at it...
0:41:54 > 0:41:58With the greatest of respect, it's "I've got a feeling."
0:41:58 > 0:41:59No, no, no.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02APPLAUSE
0:42:02 > 0:42:05I don't want to gang up.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08OK, here we go.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10- Hello.- Hi.- "Hi!"
0:42:10 > 0:42:14- What's your name?- Kate.- Kate?
0:42:14 > 0:42:17- And where do you live?- London. - What do you do, Kate?
0:42:17 > 0:42:21- I'm a student. I'm studying English. - You're studying English?- Yes.
0:42:21 > 0:42:26- To teach it to somebody? - No, just at university.- Oh, yes.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30- To speak it. She's studying... - No, it sounds like she's got a plan.
0:42:30 > 0:42:33LAUGHTER
0:42:33 > 0:42:35She's got her life mapped out.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42It's not free any more, Will!
0:42:42 > 0:42:44Someone's paying for this.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I'm sorry, my dear. Off you go with your story.
0:42:47 > 0:42:49Now, this is a story all about
0:42:49 > 0:42:52how my life got flipped, turned upside down.
0:42:52 > 0:42:57- Hmm.- So I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,
0:42:57 > 0:43:00- to tell you how I became the prince...- Don't you dare!
0:43:00 > 0:43:04APPLAUSE
0:43:04 > 0:43:06Go on, baby.
0:43:06 > 0:43:10- In West Philadelphia, born and raised...- Finish your story, baby.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13- The playground was where I spent most of my days.- Yes!
0:43:13 > 0:43:16Chilling out, maxing, relaxing, oh, cool,
0:43:16 > 0:43:18shooting some B-ball outside of the school.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Yes! Yes!
0:43:20 > 0:43:23- When a couple of guys... - This is a bit of a boo-hoo!
0:43:23 > 0:43:27- They started making trouble in my neighbourhood.- What happened, baby?
0:43:27 > 0:43:31- I got in one little fight and my mum got scared.- What'd she say?
0:43:31 > 0:43:34- You're going to live with your aunty and uncle in Bel Air.- Yes!
0:43:34 > 0:43:37Well done, young lady! Very good.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39APPLAUSE
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd