0:00:02 > 0:00:04Hey, we're going '80s rock this week!
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Time for a stage dive.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Ow! Oooh! Agh!
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Stop it. What are you doing? Agh! OK, careful!
0:00:12 > 0:00:14Let me go! Ow!
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Let's start the show!
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Good evening, everybody! Hello, hello, hello, hello! Oh!
0:00:45 > 0:00:47Thank you very much.
0:00:49 > 0:00:54Can I, can I just say, some of that touching then was inappropriate.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Hey, listen, what a sexy show we've got for you tonight.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02Comic turned Hollywood actor Russell Brand is on the show, ladies and gentleman.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07The gorgeous and talented Emily Blunt is here.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14And we've got music and chat from Paloma Faith!
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Two beautiful women and Russell Brand.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Uh-oh!
0:01:23 > 0:01:27Russell has had, shall we say, a colourful life,
0:01:27 > 0:01:30and he revealed all in his autobiography My Booky Wook.
0:01:30 > 0:01:35A lot of people couldn't resist having a look at the lurid sexual details.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43She was checking to see if she is in it.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44"Phew, not mentioned."
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Over the last few years, Russell's been in so many comedy films,
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Get Him To The Greek, Forgetting Sarah Marshall
0:01:52 > 0:01:55and, of course, St Trinian's.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Based in a girls' boarding school. That must be tough, mustn't it?
0:01:58 > 0:02:01I mean, who'd want to dump their daughter somewhere
0:02:01 > 0:02:02and then go home without them?
0:02:08 > 0:02:12Yep. Running the country!
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Now, Russell's new film Rock Of Ages is all set in the '80s.
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Remember those mad groups, the big hair, the crazy dancing,
0:02:23 > 0:02:26bands like Motley Crue,
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Poison,
0:02:28 > 0:02:29The Nolans!
0:02:31 > 0:02:34What a shit decade that was.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Emily Blunt is here, star of The Devil Wears Prada,
0:02:37 > 0:02:38so many great films.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41She lives in LA now, but still British through and through.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45Despite the weather, she's really enjoying being back in the country.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Yeah, she's been watching the tennis at Queens.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52She went for a lovely walk along the beach.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54And she even found time to go to a music festival.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Let's get some guests on!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03You've got to have faith, it's Paloma Faith!
0:03:05 > 0:03:06Oh, oh!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Beautiful! Look at you!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Oh! Mwah and mwah!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Sit yourself down, you shiny creature!- Thank you.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16He's my favourite guesty-west, it's Russell Brand!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Oh! Hello!
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Very nice to see you. Have a seat. - Hello.
0:03:24 > 0:03:29And to put it bluntly, I love this woman - it is Emily Blunt!
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Hello, darling. So nice to see you again.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Nice to be here.
0:03:42 > 0:03:47Oh, what a lovely couch! Yes. And remain calm, Russell.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52I'm very comfortable here on this banquette.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Now, you both have been on the show before.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Paloma - your first time on the show.- Yeah, I'm a show virgin.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Aw! So will your family all be watching?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Actually, my mum said she's not going to watch cos she goes,
0:04:04 > 0:04:07"You and Russell Brand,
0:04:07 > 0:04:11"you are going to offend a large portion of society together.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15"And it's not a good combo, and I can't bear to watch for my nerves."
0:04:17 > 0:04:23She can't have watched much of Emily Blunt's stuff, then, cos she'd know that this is the real risk.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27I've just offended Russell backstage cos his pants were falling down
0:04:27 > 0:04:31and one of his nice women who was with him - I'm not saying he's got a harem -
0:04:31 > 0:04:35but there's a nice lady who's probably looking after you and your clothes and...
0:04:35 > 0:04:37No, it's part of the harem.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41and she whispered to him, "Pull your pants up," cos they were coming down."
0:04:41 > 0:04:44He pulled them up and then I said, "Do your belt up tighter,"
0:04:44 > 0:04:46and he ripped the Velcro on his sash,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48and I said, "Wow! A Velcro sash,"
0:04:48 > 0:04:52and he thought I was being rude, but I was really saying, "Wow, that is amazing!"
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- What do you know about sashes? - I used to wear sashes.
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Pffft!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Was that in the early '90s?
0:05:00 > 0:05:05Yeah, my favourite outfit was white jeans, with a sash, a purple sash,
0:05:05 > 0:05:07a waistcoat and a white polo neck.
0:05:07 > 0:05:11- Lovely!- You should have been more supportive of my sash, then!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14I know, I really made a mistake.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Emily, have you gone a bit LA?- Me?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Yes. Don't you play golf now?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- Well, I played it sort of five times.- That's a lot!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Does that make me an avid golfer? - Yes!
0:05:24 > 0:05:29I quite like it. I really like kind of whizzing around on the cart with beers in the back!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Oh, OK.- That's the fun part. - OK, yeah, that sounds fun.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Now, this is very... I love how kind of California this is.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37You swim with dolphins?
0:05:37 > 0:05:43No. Well, I have taken up the hobby of scuba diving, which I really, really enjoy.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Um, I've been shark diving which was kind of amazing,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49although I had a real close encounter with a shark.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53- A little shark?- It wasn't, it was about six feet.- Did it eat people?
0:05:53 > 0:05:57- Was it that type?- Well, it wasn't but... Why are you trying to diminish my story?!
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Right, it's just a type of fish.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02- You went near a fish.- Let me tell the story.- People do that...
0:06:02 > 0:06:06- That's your story, I was near a fish once.- Let me tell it.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09It could have eaten your hand. It could have eaten your hand.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Don't clap him!
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Thank you. I love you.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16I am one of you. I am here for you.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19I am going to just shit on all of your stories.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Don't you have rules for swimming with dolphins?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26With dolphins? I heard that you're not supposed to touch a dolphin,
0:06:26 > 0:06:31- unless they come to you and offer themselves for a rubdown.- Oh!
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- Expose themselves!- You're not supposed to touch them.- Why?
0:06:35 > 0:06:38Because dolphins mate for life and if you touch one of them,
0:06:38 > 0:06:40the other one can smell your touch on them,
0:06:40 > 0:06:42and they think that they've cheated on them,
0:06:42 > 0:06:44and you can break up a dolphin marriage.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46That is true. That is fact.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49I know. I'm going to have to phone up SeaWorld directly.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51I've been down one's blowhole.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57Well, Paloma Faith, she's had a dolphin orgy, if that's the case.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Yeah, I reckon I've broken up a few dolphin marriages.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Why, what did you do?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06I went to Cuba and I was in a situation where they were like,
0:07:06 > 0:07:08"Do you want to swim with dolphins?"
0:07:08 > 0:07:15and they actually taught me how to sort of be lifted up on the nose of two dolphins.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17What, with your foot on each nose?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20If you think she's making this up, somebody filmed it.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- That's a good story.- Oh, shut up.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- We've got the footage.- Not, "Oh, I was near a fish once."
0:07:25 > 0:07:27She stood up on two dolphins.
0:07:27 > 0:07:33It was a shark. It came like that to me. That's not nice.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Let's have a look at this. This is brilliant, this.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Nice work! I'm well into this.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40- Now look, that's Paloma. - Oh, brilliant!
0:07:40 > 0:07:42It's not great to begin with, I'll give you that.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44It does look like a woman in the water.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Now watch this.- Wow!
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- Wow!- Isn't that good?
0:07:50 > 0:07:53That's amazing!
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- What a great story! - No, that is amazing.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Oh, brilliant! Well done.- Oh...
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Emily, have you got footage of you near that fish?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07I hate your sash!
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Emily Blunt, Emily Blunt, worry not,
0:08:10 > 0:08:13we're going to big you up because your new movie,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- The Five-Year Engagement - out next Friday.- Yes.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19It's from the people who made Forgetting Sarah Marshall...
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Or that shite film Get Him To The Greek, yeah.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24That's not very nice. Dear, oh, dear.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30So, basically, it is what you think it's going to be.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33It's a rom-com but it's got big belly laughs, big physical laughs.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Yes, it has. Well, I hope so anyway.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- No, it does. I've seen it. - Oh, good, I'm glad.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42- So it's a five-year engagement and you obviously play the lady. - Yes, I do.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44Stretch, was it?
0:08:46 > 0:08:47Why are you so against me?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51We've had nice encounters, it's all going wrong.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55You started all this sash stuff, didn't you, out there?
0:08:55 > 0:08:56I do this for a living!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- So, it's you and Jason Segel? - Yes. Yes.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05And what's nice is that you do seem like a nice couple in the film.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Well, we're friends, which I think really helps cos we sort of have
0:09:09 > 0:09:12a shorthand and a natural warmth, I guess, with each other
0:09:12 > 0:09:15and that translates onscreen, hopefully.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18You say you're friends, but he wrote this specifically for you, no?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Yes, he did, yeah. - Is that not a bit creepy?
0:09:21 > 0:09:22No, I thought it was flattering.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26But he wrote lots of kind of sex scenes and kissing scenes for him.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31- But none of them are very sexy. I mean, there's, like, a... - There's a lot of humping!
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Yeah, but none of it's very, like, "ooh" and "aah", "my God",
0:09:33 > 0:09:35like, Emily's husband must be so threatened.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Like, some of it is really bad... It's, like, bad sex.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41- Yeah, there is a lot of bad sex in it.- Bad sex.- Yes.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43And what's the thing with...
0:09:43 > 0:09:47Apparently the producer had a problem with the way you said "condom".
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Yeah, cos, like, what do they say in America?
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- "CONN-dum".- "CONN-dum".
0:09:53 > 0:09:57And I obviously say condom, like any normal person,
0:09:57 > 0:10:00and it was a real problem, so I had to say "CONN-dum".
0:10:00 > 0:10:03But you were doing Cookie Monster's voice at the time?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- Oh, yes, and my Cookie Monster is not great. I tend to go a bit... - I thought it was excellent.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10Really? I felt I went a bit Transylvanian with it. It was a bit odd.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Can you do a little?- Do you want me to do the condom line?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Don't say anything.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I fully support you, Blunt. You're lovely.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24- PASSABLE COOKIE MONSTER VOICE:- C is for condom, it's good enough for me.
0:10:24 > 0:10:25That is good.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Oh, I got a smirk out of you! OK.
0:10:28 > 0:10:33Now, The Five-Year Engagement opens next Friday. We've got a clip.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36This is you and Jason. You've made him move to Michigan...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Yes.- ..which is cold.- Very.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- And you're trying to cheer him up. - OK.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44That snow looks nice.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46It's fine, yeah. It's fine.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Do you want to roll around with me in it and get weird?
0:10:48 > 0:10:53- You mean, like...?- Yeah, no-one's around. Let's get into Michigan life!
0:10:53 > 0:10:56OK, it sounds great, it does. There is one issue.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- What?- It's very cold out.- So what?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01My penis is going to look super-small for a second.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- I've seen your penis every single way.- Not this small.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Take your pants off. Let's do it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- It's going to look like a baby's dick.- OK, you're ruining the moment.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- I'm just going to cut you off right now.- A baby dick.
0:11:12 > 0:11:13OK. Woo!
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Hee-hee! Come on, it's so nice.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- Do it!- Woah!
0:11:18 > 0:11:19- Ohhh! Agh!- What?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21- I hurt my hip.- Oh, my God. - I landed on something.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- Oh, it's a fire hydrant. - It's a fire hydrant.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Poor old grandpa!
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- God! Can you just say, "My hip, my hip, my hip"?- Yes, you did.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Sorry, babe.
0:11:36 > 0:11:37You had all those kisses.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- And then I kiss you some more. - Yeah, exactly.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50Now, in terms of engagements, five years - is that a long engagement?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53I feel like a lot could go wrong in a five-year engagement,
0:11:53 > 0:11:54you know what I mean?
0:11:54 > 0:11:57I'd dump him if it was five years. It'd be like, "Get on with it!"
0:11:57 > 0:12:01I feel like after two, you should get another ring, or something.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04What, just, like, stacking them up?
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Up to there.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- How long were you engaged for? - Just a year.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11See, that already seems quite a long time.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Well, it's not really, as you're trying to plan it and then it's schedules and all that.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Are you more of a sort of 'just go to Vegas and get it done' type guy?
0:12:19 > 0:12:21You make it sound like a tattoo.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24It is in some cases.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30Hey!
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Right. You're all right for the rest of the show!- No, it's too late.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Let's start with this dress.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48She's bowled out here with a bagel on her head.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Starts... Listen, you sit there and keep calm, young lady.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Too much water, you've had!
0:12:55 > 0:12:59Now, listen, in terms of engagements,
0:12:59 > 0:13:03we know that there's an engaged couple in the audience, right.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07So we thought we might try and spot them.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Essentially, I think we're looking for a smug woman and a worried man.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15So, let's see if we can spot the couples.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Hang on, let's see. So...
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Lots of la... Oh, look, they're holding hands!
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Er, couple-y... You..
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Oh, is that, is that the...? Or is that the...?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Well, I don't know, it's 2012.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Are you by yourself? Are you with them?
0:13:32 > 0:13:34- Er, no, I'm not. - You're just sat here?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36- I'm just sat here.- OK.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Well, you know, it's a nice jumper.
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- So, you're together?- Yes, we are.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47- But you're not engaged, are you?- No.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52- You're too young, you're children. How long have you been together? - Seven months.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Awww! They're happy.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Couple? Couple?!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- I wish, but no.- Awww!
0:14:12 > 0:14:14How long have you been "friends"?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17About a year? About a year, yeah.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Well, you could get very drunk tonight.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- What's your name?- Juan.- Matthew.
0:14:27 > 0:14:28Yeah, that won't work.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32Well, you couldn't say, "Juan and Matthew are coming for dinner."
0:14:32 > 0:14:36OK, er, possibly. Stand up, the two of you.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- Go. OK. What do you think, sofa? - Nice dress!
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Oh, look, it's very jubilee.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47What do you reckon, a couple?
0:14:47 > 0:14:48Yeah, possibly.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- Let's try names. What's your name? - Christina.- Mark.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- They could be, Christina and Mark. - Yeah, I reckon.- Yeah.
0:14:55 > 0:14:56- Are you a couple?- BOTH: No.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- Do you know each other? - Yes, I'm her dad.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Do you have a boyfriend?- Yes.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- Is he here?- Yes.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Is he the next one?- Yes. - Oh, stand up, boyfriend.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- You're her fiance.- Right. - You are engaged!
0:15:25 > 0:15:27And when are you getting married?
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Next year, maybe.- Next year, maybe.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34- When did you get engaged? - Christmas Day last year.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Aw, that's lovely.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Quite a cheap gift, but, er lovely.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Where did you meet?
0:15:41 > 0:15:44We met actually on Chatroulette two years ago.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Wow.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Er, OK.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Do you live here?
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- I'm from Austria.- You're from Austria?- Yeah, right.- OK.
0:15:58 > 0:15:59Christina's dad...
0:16:01 > 0:16:05- She's engaged to be married to a man she met on the internet from Austria...- Yeah.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Bad father!
0:16:07 > 0:16:09No, you look like a lovely couple
0:16:09 > 0:16:11and, next year, you're getting married?
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- Yeah.- All right. Well, a long and happy life to you both.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Excellent. Well done, all the people. Very good. OK, now...
0:16:24 > 0:16:28Russell Brand, your new movie Rock Of Ages is open tonight and it's a huge musical.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30It's been on Broadway, been on the West End.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Is it fair to call it a kind of '80s rock Mamma Mia?
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Is that a fair way...?
0:16:36 > 0:16:40You can describe it in any terms you want. What it is, is it's a film.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42It's, I think, £10.
0:16:42 > 0:16:47You can watch the film for that amount of money.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49- In the film, there is Tom Cruise.- Oh!
0:16:49 > 0:16:53In the film, people sing merry, jolly songs.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- It's an enjoyable experience.- It is.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- I'm here to promote it.- Yeah!
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Yeah, it's a perfectly good film.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I mean, it may not solve the inner torment and angst that
0:17:03 > 0:17:05you go through as a human soul,
0:17:05 > 0:17:07but it's certainly a lovely distraction.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11There's glitter, there's sequins, there's Alec Baldwin.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15There's one scene that's got a baboon in it.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18A baboon that was not in the original script.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22A baboon that materialised at the behest of Tom Cruise.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Did he buy it?- He never bought it... - Did he ask for it?
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Yeah, he said, "Wouldn't it be good if my character had a baboon?"
0:17:30 > 0:17:33And cos no-one's said no to Tom Cruise since about 1985,
0:17:33 > 0:17:35a baboon came.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37They're vicious, baboons, aren't they?
0:17:37 > 0:17:41The baboon, in my opinion, is not a charming animal.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47What it is, is it's an aggressive little thing.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49It's like, say, a chimp.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53I love a chimp - a delightful little thing, friendly, affable,
0:17:53 > 0:17:57but a baboon - it looks forever on the precipice of doing something aggressive.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00They dressed it up in clothes, they sellotaped a nappy on it.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02It didn't like that.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06When it got too wound up, it had a trailer what had three girl baboons in it.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09- No!- Yeah, and I goes, "I've got a problem with that."
0:18:09 > 0:18:12And they goes, "What, are you jealous?"
0:18:12 > 0:18:14I said, "I don't have sex with baboons."
0:18:14 > 0:18:16"But yes."
0:18:18 > 0:18:22You've been on record about how lovely Tom Cruise was to work with.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- I mean, he was a really nice, generous...- He's kind.- Mm.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Like, Tom Cruise - people are mean about him, I think, for their entertainment,
0:18:29 > 0:18:31but what it is, when you meet him, he'll remember you...
0:18:31 > 0:18:35- There he is, look. That's Tom Cruise dressed up.- In the film.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37- He's pretending to be someone else for money.- Yeah.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40He's kind and it was my birthday during the film.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44He bought me stuff. He found out, "Oh, you like yoga, do you?
0:18:44 > 0:18:45"Here is a yoga mat."
0:18:45 > 0:18:47He's really nice. He's really kind.
0:18:47 > 0:18:51Yeah, that happened, that exchange. I recreated it.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52That was a verbal photograph.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Because you're working with Tom Cruise.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Isn't that the next film you're doing?- Yeah, I start it in the autumn.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Are they filming that here? - They are, yes.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- What is it? - It's called All You Need Is Kill,
0:19:03 > 0:19:06and there's lots of killing. And I do a lot of killing.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08- But you haven't done anything like that before?- No, I haven't.
0:19:08 > 0:19:13I have to learn to be one of the best soldiers alive, which is hilarious.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15- But I'm going to try. - Yeah! Give it a go.
0:19:15 > 0:19:16So I have to train all summer.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19I'm learning all these martial arts and stuff.
0:19:19 > 0:19:20It's pretty cool, actually.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24And I met Tom for a table read and he's impossibly nice, isn't he?
0:19:24 > 0:19:25He is really kind and fun.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28In the table read for this film, he turned up, the film I just done...
0:19:28 > 0:19:31He come to the table read, and that just means, you know...
0:19:31 > 0:19:32It's called a table read.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35There's a table, there's some reading. That's all that happens.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39He came fully dressed up in that clobber, dolled up as a rock star,
0:19:39 > 0:19:41with five people and a band and that.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44'Kin' hell! I hadn't even read the script yet.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46He really did? That's amazing.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49He looked amazing. It's like he come there as the person.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51We've got a clip of Rock Of Ages.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54This is a kind of sing-off between the conservative housewives
0:19:54 > 0:19:56and the rockers of Hollywood, led by you.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59As you can see, this club is totally out of control but, Mitch,
0:19:59 > 0:20:01this ends tonight.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05Hey, you! Why are you so uptight?
0:20:05 > 0:20:10You lot need to feel the wind of change, blow the cobwebs out.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12We built this city on rock and roll, right?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Yeah, we did.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15# We built this city... #
0:20:15 > 0:20:18My grandfather's father built this city.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20# We built this city on rock and roll
0:20:20 > 0:20:22# We built this city... #
0:20:22 > 0:20:24How dare you?!
0:20:24 > 0:20:29# We built this city on rock and roll
0:20:29 > 0:20:35# Who counts the money underneath the bar?
0:20:35 > 0:20:41# Who rocked the wrecking ball into our guitars?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43# Don't tell us you need us... #
0:20:43 > 0:20:44Wash you mouth out with soap!
0:20:44 > 0:20:47# Cos we're the ship of fools
0:20:47 > 0:20:51# Looking for America
0:20:51 > 0:20:54# Crawling through your schools
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- # We're not going to take it - # We built this city
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- # No, we ain't gonna take it - # We built this city
0:21:00 > 0:21:03# We're not gonna take it any more
0:21:03 > 0:21:07# We built this city on rock and roll. #
0:21:07 > 0:21:08That is awesome!
0:21:11 > 0:21:14You do a lot of singing. A lot of singing.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Did the whole... cos, you know, we've heard you sing before,
0:21:16 > 0:21:20but I don't think I've ever heard Alec Baldwin sing or Tom Cruise.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Did you all have big musical rehearsals, singing teaching?
0:21:23 > 0:21:28Yeah, you have to have singing lessons off this bloke Ron.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31Ron - he's kind of, like, tubby and he's got a very neat...
0:21:31 > 0:21:35He looks a lot like Pavarotti but with a very neat, white beard.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Imagine Pavarotti but all his hair white.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40He's one of those people you think, "This bloke is definitely gay,"
0:21:40 > 0:21:45cos he's like, "Hello, it's nice to meet you. Time for the singing lesson.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48And then all of a sudden, he goes, "This is my wife,"
0:21:48 > 0:21:50and you go, "Pffft! Leave it out."
0:21:50 > 0:21:53"What's your wife's name? Dave?"
0:21:53 > 0:21:56But it turns out he's got a wife and everything.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00He taught everyone to sing. Me, Baldwin, Tom Cruise, everyone.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04He taught everyone singing and, like, he's got a lovely manner with him.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07The way he teaches you to sing is by resonating out of different cavities in your head.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11That's how you have to do it. Mouth - that's a cavity in your head.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Well, I've probably overcomplicated it.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17But he'll go to you, "For this line, sing it a bit like this..."
0:22:17 > 0:22:19"Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wahhh."
0:22:19 > 0:22:22And then you sort of go, "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wahhh."
0:22:22 > 0:22:26He goes, "No, no. More like a baby, like an angry baby."
0:22:26 > 0:22:29"Wahhh, wahhh, wahhh, wahhh!"
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Then you have to do it a bit more like that.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34And it has no attachment to the actual language that you are saying.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38In that film Get Him To The Greek you coated off earlier with a right stab in the back...
0:22:38 > 0:22:40I actually liked that film.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42No, I liked it.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46When I had to sing the word blowjob in this song in Get Him To The Greek,
0:22:46 > 0:22:49where it goes "All of these blowjobs in limousines."
0:22:49 > 0:22:53He said, "No, no, it's not blowjobs. It's blowjobbbs!"
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Blowjobbbs!
0:22:55 > 0:23:01It's like he had no relationship with the concept that blowjob is a funny word to sing.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Blowjobbbs!
0:23:03 > 0:23:08Do you, like, now when you meet girls, go, "I want a blowjobbb"?
0:23:08 > 0:23:12I don't want to undermine the event of a blowjob.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Do you think that the blowjob bit can be in the programme?
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- That's my main concern now.- Yes. - Blowjobbb!
0:23:20 > 0:23:22No, I think that's in.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25It will definitely be if we keep putting it into other segments.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Keep mentioning it at important moments.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29I'll have it in my integral bit.
0:23:29 > 0:23:34Coming up next, Paloma will be singing "Blowjobbb".
0:23:34 > 0:23:36It's Paloma "Blowjobbb" Faith.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38It'll be in, but...
0:23:38 > 0:23:39So, you know!
0:23:46 > 0:23:47Sorry.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Everyone's talking. Everyone's talking.
0:23:49 > 0:23:54Blowjob faith is something every man must have!
0:23:54 > 0:23:56Let's face it, it could go wrong.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59In terms of singing teachers and going out there,
0:23:59 > 0:24:03and trying to prove you can sing, presumably when you start out,
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- you have to do those showcases, don't you?- Mm.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Yeah. Was there a showcase where you put on a fake belly?
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Well, I was... In the early days...
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- Yes?- I had to do a showcase for, like, the record label
0:24:14 > 0:24:17and I was really into prosthetics back then,
0:24:17 > 0:24:21because I'd been a bit of an art school student, you know.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24You get rigged up with blood bags and all that.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27And I was showcasing my songs...
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Not everyone does that, by the way.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34"You get rigged up with blood bags." People don't just all nod.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35Yeah, you know!
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Your mum's going, "Thank f... I didn't watch this programme."
0:24:39 > 0:24:42"Is she doing the blood bag anecdote?" Yes.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45She likes all that. She likes to think of herself as a bit arty.
0:24:45 > 0:24:50But, yeah, so I was sort of on stage showcasing my songs and I had, like,
0:24:50 > 0:24:55a prosthetic belly and I slashed it open
0:24:55 > 0:24:59in a song about the death of my childhood.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Yes, of course.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04And then afterwards I got off stage and they were like,
0:25:04 > 0:25:07"We think you've got a great voice,
0:25:07 > 0:25:10"but you've got to ditch the prosthesis."
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Well, what came out? A lot of blood?
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Yeah, it was like... Well, I've done it before when I had fish come out.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Done it before when...
0:25:20 > 0:25:23There you are, you'll like this story.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30It was a different sort of fish, actually.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33They were bought out of Dalston market. It wasn't as glamorous as LA.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Yeah, I'm talking about the shark.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40She slashed it out of her belly. It didn't just go nearby her, by coincidence.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- I could have been slashed by it! - I don't think so.- All right.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Going back to the rock and roll thing,
0:25:45 > 0:25:48the first time you played a rocker was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52Now, you looked the part but you did have to do quite challenging things.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55You had to surf and you had never horse-ridden before.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59It was a horrible experience and Jason Segel wrote that part as well.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02He's like some cackling Dr Death figure.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04HE CACKLES
0:26:04 > 0:26:06I had to do surfing. I'm no good at that.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09That's basically standing up on top of water.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11Even Jesus only done it once.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Horse riding - that's too hard.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18The horse don't want you on it. That becomes pretty clear.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19IMITATES A HORSE
0:26:19 > 0:26:23It was right wound up, mine was. It did a weird laying-down thing.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27They go, "Russell, you are in charge of that horse. Make sure it knows you're in charge of it."
0:26:27 > 0:26:31"How?" "Kicking it." I go, "I ain't kicking it, he's a lovely horse."
0:26:31 > 0:26:33They go, "You've got to show it you're the boss."
0:26:33 > 0:26:37I go, "How am I the boss? Look at the size of the bloody thing!"
0:26:37 > 0:26:39He goes, "Make it stop when we get to this mark."
0:26:39 > 0:26:41They were filming with their cameras to make the film.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43You'll notice, if you've seen Sarah Marshall,
0:26:43 > 0:26:46there ain't no bloody horse riding in it, cos of how wrong it all went,
0:26:46 > 0:26:49how cruel and malevolent the whole experience was.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51The horse was meant to stop at a certain point
0:26:51 > 0:26:54but cos he's a horse, he don't know that.
0:26:54 > 0:26:59He just went home. He just ran past it and went home to his horse house.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Like, there was me, on its back, and in there was five other horses.
0:27:03 > 0:27:04I felt embarrassed.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10They were all looking at me like, "Why are you in our horse house?"
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I was just on its back in a horse house.
0:27:12 > 0:27:17Now, take one letter out of that and it's a much more familiar scenario for me.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19I'd have been relaxed.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Now, your look is perfect for playing kind of rock stars,
0:27:23 > 0:27:25but you must get offered other roles?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Sometimes they offer me something, Graham, it involves a haircut.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I go, "Pffft. What's the point?"
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- Really? You wouldn't cut your hair? - Not really. Not for a job.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- You've patted it down a bit. - I'll pat it down.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Yeah, he'll pat it down.
0:27:38 > 0:27:41I'll pat it down. If they say "Pat it down for a job..."
0:27:41 > 0:27:45- He don't like it being touched! - Not after your fish belly.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50I see what you've done to your own barnet, don't come near mine!
0:27:52 > 0:27:55- Russell, because you always look like Russell Brand...- Yeah.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59- ..are you recognised? Presumably you're always recognised.- Yeah.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- You're not going to blend into a crowd.- You're tall as well so that's quite...
0:28:03 > 0:28:06I'm quite long, yeah. People say hello.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08But do you like being famous?
0:28:08 > 0:28:12Do you know what? I like being recognised. I like some elements of it.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15And when you first get famous, it is really, really good fun,
0:28:15 > 0:28:16for the girls.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20Then, though, you sort of realise that some of it is quite contaminating,
0:28:20 > 0:28:23because you can't really have a private life and stuff like that,
0:28:23 > 0:28:25and that's sort of a weird thing.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28Now, it's not as bad as "Oh, I've been laying asphalt," or
0:28:28 > 0:28:31"We shouldn't put that on the ceiling anyway. That'd be dangerous."
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Or, like, you've got fibreglass in your lungs,
0:28:33 > 0:28:36It's not a terrible thing, it's just a bit of a pain in the arse.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38It's all right but it's also...
0:28:38 > 0:28:42Like, lately I've become a little bit disillusioned with the old celebrity
0:28:42 > 0:28:45because I think people go on about it all the time,
0:28:45 > 0:28:50and it's like it's used to distract us from things that are important, that we should be thinking about.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52I'm part of it, I'm earning a few quid out of it,
0:28:52 > 0:28:53so I'm not saying I'm better than it.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57I'm just saying it's a shame that it's all over the papers and all over the telly
0:28:57 > 0:29:01as we face an ecological and economic crisis that could destroy our planet if we don't tune in.
0:29:01 > 0:29:03CHEERS AND LOUD APPLAUSE
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Is that why you've got Dalai Lama on your hand?
0:29:07 > 0:29:11Paloma's pointed out that I wrote on my hand, because it's important,
0:29:11 > 0:29:15I am doing a, er, event with His Holiness the Dalai Lama
0:29:15 > 0:29:18at the Manchester Evening News Arena on Saturday.
0:29:18 > 0:29:22If you are under 25, you can come for nothing.
0:29:22 > 0:29:25His Holiness will be talking about consciousness
0:29:25 > 0:29:28- and young people and inspiring us and giving us hope.- Wow!
0:29:28 > 0:29:31I've got to intro him and moderate the interview. Me!?
0:29:31 > 0:29:34This has been chaos, with Graham Norton!
0:29:34 > 0:29:36How am I going to get on with the Dalai Lama?
0:29:36 > 0:29:37Have you met him before?
0:29:37 > 0:29:39I never met the Dalai Lama before, no.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42But by all accounts, he's a cracking fella.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45What if I meet him and he's like, "All right, mate."
0:29:45 > 0:29:47On the Rothmans.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52I just looked on your hand and it says "HH Dalai Lama",
0:29:52 > 0:29:55which, of course, now I understand says His Holiness but I thought,
0:29:55 > 0:29:59for a second, it said, "Hi Dalai Lama." And we were, like, matching.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02Oh, I must remember. Hi, Dalai Lama!
0:30:02 > 0:30:04I'm just such a fan.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09And in terms of being recognised, you must get recognised wherever you go, Paloma Faith,
0:30:09 > 0:30:11- cos, again, you look like... - I don't, you know.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14I mean, I do, sort of, on and off, but I'm a little bit like Russell.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17I tend to sort of phase out, I'm a bit of a dreamer.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20It's not rudeness, we'll tell you.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23- I don't phase out.- Well, you have quite a few times already.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25- Have I?- Yeah.- I'm doing it now.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31Just after I denied it, I felt myself phasing right out.
0:30:31 > 0:30:35But, like, I don't necessarily notice that much and I prefer that.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38But I do, erm, I quite often, you know...
0:30:38 > 0:30:42I still get the bus and the tube and stuff.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44Sometimes people ask me why.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Like, go, "What are you doing on the bus?"
0:30:46 > 0:30:48And I just say, "Going home.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51I hope that is all you're doing on the bus.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Not cutting a load of fish out your guts.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59And, Emily, well, I know there are occasions when you aren't recognised.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03No, I mean, I think people sometimes think they went to school with me
0:31:03 > 0:31:06or something like that, but I also...
0:31:06 > 0:31:09I don't know, I feel like some people know you straightaway
0:31:09 > 0:31:12and then other people say, "Oh, that's the girl from so-and-so."
0:31:12 > 0:31:14Then I had this kid come up to me and say...
0:31:14 > 0:31:17She was really cute, she was about six, and she went,"
0:31:17 > 0:31:21- WHINY AMERICAN ACCENT:- "Are you the girl from The Gilmore Girls?"
0:31:21 > 0:31:23and I said, "No, no, I'm not,"
0:31:23 > 0:31:25and she went, "Hm.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29"Are you the girl from the Bridge To Terabithia?"
0:31:29 > 0:31:33and I said, "No, no, I'm not," and she went, "Ohhh."
0:31:33 > 0:31:36And then she just walked away and I heard myself go, scream at her,
0:31:36 > 0:31:39"But I was in The Devil Wears Prada."
0:31:41 > 0:31:45And she turned and I think her father looked a bit shocked that I just shouted at his child
0:31:45 > 0:31:47and she looked at me and she went,
0:31:47 > 0:31:51"I haven't seen that movie," and walked away.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53I was, like, "Argh! How embarrassing."
0:31:53 > 0:31:55It was so stupid.
0:31:57 > 0:32:02Now, Paloma Faith, today is a very special day because people can buy tickets to go and see you on tour.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06- Yes, they can.- Yes, they can. And are you putting on a big show?
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Is there, like, stuff happening?
0:32:08 > 0:32:10There's always a big show with me!
0:32:11 > 0:32:13# There's no business like... #
0:32:13 > 0:32:14Blowjobbbs!
0:32:16 > 0:32:19- It's definitely going in, then. - It's in now.
0:32:21 > 0:32:27Cos Glastonbury, you looked amazing at Glastonbury.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29My large inflatable balls!
0:32:29 > 0:32:32What's going on here? They were attached to you?
0:32:32 > 0:32:34That must have been quite hard to walk and move.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36There was some chafing.
0:32:37 > 0:32:41Was it a high concept, or is it just you thought, "Oh, this'll look good"?
0:32:41 > 0:32:42Well, what happened was,
0:32:42 > 0:32:47they nearly didn't let me go on stage with them because it ended up being a really windy day.
0:32:47 > 0:32:49There she goes!
0:32:49 > 0:32:54I had to sign something to say that I would take full responsibility
0:32:54 > 0:32:56for my own death,
0:32:56 > 0:33:00if I got swept off into the horizon.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02You know, up to space or whatever.
0:33:02 > 0:33:06That's pretty profound to have to take full responsibility for your own death,
0:33:06 > 0:33:09cos once you're dead, what are you going to do?
0:33:09 > 0:33:11It was my fault! Wooo!
0:33:12 > 0:33:14It was that or the balls, babe.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16As I say, you are a trained dancer.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18Yeah, I was a trained dancer,
0:33:18 > 0:33:22but I really haven't danced for long enough, like, ages, so...
0:33:22 > 0:33:27- But in burlesque, did you dance? - I didn't. I just sang as a burlesque singer in burlesque clubs.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31- Were you in that movie?- What movie? - What are you talking about?- No!
0:33:31 > 0:33:33No, the concept of burlesque.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36I didn't think she was in Burlesque the movie. I was, like, "I don't think she was."
0:33:36 > 0:33:39- No, no, but I used to sing in burlesque clubs. - Got it. Sorry about that.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42- But Chicago is also a place.- Got it.
0:33:46 > 0:33:47It's not true. That was not true.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54Right, it is time for music. Now, what are you giving us tonight?
0:33:54 > 0:33:58I'm going to play the first single from my album,
0:33:58 > 0:34:01which is out now, Fall To Grace, which you happen to have there.
0:34:01 > 0:34:05And the album is out now and is hovering at the top of the charts.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07- Which is lovely.- Congratulations.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10And a bit of a first for me so thanks to everyone who bought it.
0:34:10 > 0:34:11Nice!
0:34:11 > 0:34:14I love this track. I love it.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17If you want to go off and get ready,
0:34:17 > 0:34:20are you OK with steps and things? You're not going to fall over?
0:34:20 > 0:34:22LAUGHTER
0:34:22 > 0:34:25In a moment, we'll have this week's stories in the famous Red Chair,
0:34:25 > 0:34:28but first, performing Picking Up The Pieces, it is Paloma Faith!
0:34:45 > 0:34:51# Do you think of her when you're with me?
0:34:52 > 0:34:56# Repeat the memories you made together
0:34:56 > 0:34:59# Whose face do you see?
0:34:59 > 0:35:05# Do you wish I was a bit more like her?
0:35:05 > 0:35:08# Am I too loud
0:35:08 > 0:35:14# I play the clown to cover up all these doubts
0:35:14 > 0:35:18# Perfect heart, she's flawless
0:35:18 > 0:35:21# She's the other woman
0:35:21 > 0:35:25# Shining in her splendour
0:35:25 > 0:35:28# You were lost
0:35:28 > 0:35:31# Now she's gone
0:35:31 > 0:35:34# And I'm picking up the pieces
0:35:34 > 0:35:36# I watch you cry
0:35:36 > 0:35:41# But you don't see that I'm the one by your side
0:35:41 > 0:35:43# Cos she's gone
0:35:45 > 0:35:48# In her shadow is it me you see?
0:35:48 > 0:35:52# Cos all that's left is you and I
0:35:52 > 0:35:57# And I'm picking up the pieces she left behind
0:35:59 > 0:36:06# I found a photograph behind the TV
0:36:06 > 0:36:08# You look so happy
0:36:08 > 0:36:13# Are you missing the way it used be?
0:36:13 > 0:36:19# And I have changed this room around more often lately
0:36:20 > 0:36:24# It's clear that me and these four walls
0:36:24 > 0:36:28# Still know it's hers and yours
0:36:28 > 0:36:32# Perfect heart, she's flawless
0:36:32 > 0:36:35# She's the other woman
0:36:35 > 0:36:39# Shining in her splendour
0:36:39 > 0:36:42# You were lost
0:36:42 > 0:36:45# Now she's gone
0:36:45 > 0:36:49# And I'm picking up the pieces
0:36:49 > 0:36:51# I watch you cry
0:36:51 > 0:36:56# But you don't see that I'm the one by your side
0:36:56 > 0:36:59# Cos she's gone
0:36:59 > 0:37:02# In her shadow is it me you see?
0:37:02 > 0:37:06# Cos all that's left is you and I
0:37:06 > 0:37:11# And I'm picking up the pieces she left behind
0:37:11 > 0:37:15# Are we liars in denial?
0:37:15 > 0:37:19# Are we smoke without the fire?
0:37:19 > 0:37:22# Tell me, please, is this worth it?
0:37:22 > 0:37:24# I deserve it
0:37:24 > 0:37:28# Cos she's gone
0:37:28 > 0:37:31# And I'm picking up the pieces
0:37:31 > 0:37:33# I watch you cry
0:37:33 > 0:37:38# But you don't see that I'm the one by your side
0:37:38 > 0:37:41# Cos she's gone
0:37:41 > 0:37:45# In her shadow is it me you see?
0:37:45 > 0:37:48# Cos all that's left is you and I
0:37:48 > 0:37:54# And I'm picking up the pieces she left behind. #
0:38:03 > 0:38:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Beautiful!
0:38:11 > 0:38:12Paloma Faith, everybody!
0:38:14 > 0:38:16Beautiful job! Come back and join us.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22Let me help you. A very tight dress. That was gorgeous.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24- Have a seat. Lovely.- Thank you.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31- Good singing.- Great singing!
0:38:31 > 0:38:34- Very good singing!- Well done. - No, fantastic.- Thank you.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37'Ere, you know when you was over there? That was good!
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Thanks!
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Listen, before we go tonight, a story or two in the Red Chair.
0:38:42 > 0:38:43So, who's up first?
0:38:43 > 0:38:46- Oh, hello!- Hi!- What's your name?
0:38:46 > 0:38:48- I'm Carla.- Carla? And where are you from>
0:38:48 > 0:38:51- I'm from Brighton but studying at Bedfordshire.- Ooh, right.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54- What are you studying? - Biomedical science.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Ooh! There's a genius on the Red Chair, everyone.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00She's studying biomedical science.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03- She might not be any good at it. - That's true.- I'm good.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06- "What the bloody hell's this about?"- What year are you in?
0:39:06 > 0:39:08- She might just eat the textbooks. - I'm in my second year.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12- She's passed some exams. She has passed some exams.- Good result.
0:39:12 > 0:39:13OK, off you go with your story.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- So, I fell in a volcano.- Sorry?
0:39:16 > 0:39:18- I fell in a volcano. - You fell in a volcano?
0:39:18 > 0:39:20So, it had lava in it?
0:39:20 > 0:39:24No, it was like a mud volcano, but it was nice and warm and bubbly.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27- I reckon we should bin her. - We'll bin her.
0:39:32 > 0:39:36Paloma has very high standards for stories.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39What happens to her after the lever?
0:39:39 > 0:39:41- I don't know.- She's alive.
0:39:41 > 0:39:46She's already fallen in a volcano. It can't be worse than that.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Who's next?
0:39:48 > 0:39:50- Hello.- Hello!- Hi, what's your name?
0:39:50 > 0:39:51Claire.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53What do you do, Claire?
0:39:53 > 0:39:57- I'm a medical sales rep. - Everyone is so clever tonight!
0:39:57 > 0:40:00- She just sells stuff.- Oh, Paloma!
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Wow!
0:40:03 > 0:40:04That is cold, Paloma.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07We can't all cut our belly and have fish fall out.
0:40:07 > 0:40:11Some people just sell shit, OK?
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Sorry, Mum!
0:40:12 > 0:40:15Yeah, you've offended a large slice of society, young lady!
0:40:15 > 0:40:18What's wrong with you? You did a lovely song.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20What's your story?
0:40:20 > 0:40:23- It's first date story.- Oh, it's a first date story. OK, go, go.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26I went out with a very distinguished gentleman,
0:40:26 > 0:40:28and we went for a walk along the South Bank.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32And after a few cocktails, we went to Wagamama for some food,
0:40:32 > 0:40:35and I ordered noodle soup.
0:40:35 > 0:40:41Halfway through my noodle soup, he launched at me across the table and said, "Have you got any fetishes?"
0:40:41 > 0:40:45And I snorted and this big piece of noodle came out of my nostril,
0:40:45 > 0:40:48and swang like that, and he looked at me horrified.
0:40:48 > 0:40:49And I was just mortified.
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- You can walk. You can walk. - Thank you.- That was very good.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57- I was not expecting a noodle. - No, no.- I wasn't.
0:40:57 > 0:40:58I wasn't.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02- What did he...?- I want to know what his fetishes are.
0:41:02 > 0:41:03We don't know. We don't know.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07- I wish she'd stayed in the seat a bit longer.- You shouldn't let her walk before...
0:41:07 > 0:41:10What if his fetishes are sucking noodles out of people's noses
0:41:10 > 0:41:12like nasal Lady And The Tramp.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14He'd have been having the night of his life!
0:41:14 > 0:41:18You can imagine, smoke would have come out of his ears!
0:41:18 > 0:41:21Do we have someone else? Do we have one more? Hello, sir.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24- Hi.- Oh, I like his T-shirt with the kissing penguins. That's very sweet.
0:41:24 > 0:41:25Thank you.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28- What's your name, sir?- Paul. - Sorry?- Paul.
0:41:28 > 0:41:29LAUGHTER
0:41:29 > 0:41:32- His name's Poo!- Is your name Poo? - Paul.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34- Oh, Paul.- Where are you from?
0:41:34 > 0:41:36- I'm from Wycombe.- Wycombe.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39It's just, you're pronouncing it Poole.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41Are you very posh?
0:41:41 > 0:41:43No.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45LAUGHTER
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Yes, he is. He's very posh!
0:41:47 > 0:41:49- Where I come from, you are. - What's your name? "Poole".
0:41:51 > 0:41:54Sorry, we shouldn't laugh at you. You're going to run the country one day.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59And then you'll punish me. "That Norton!"
0:41:59 > 0:42:02Right, off you go with your story, sir.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04So, before going to a christening...
0:42:04 > 0:42:07Can I just say? You are so, so posh!
0:42:07 > 0:42:11So, my sister suggested we play a game.
0:42:11 > 0:42:12Yes, Paul.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER
0:42:15 > 0:42:18Wait, you'll have to start again, Paul.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21Sorry, we were laughing at you. So, you went to a christening...
0:42:21 > 0:42:24So, before going to the christening,
0:42:24 > 0:42:26my sister suggested that the two of us play a game,
0:42:26 > 0:42:29where she'd roll me up in this long carpet on our parents' hallway.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31So I'd be a bit like a sausage roll.
0:42:31 > 0:42:32Yes, I understand.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34- POSH VOICE:- Sausage roll.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Also, there was a detail there, too,
0:42:37 > 0:42:40that the carpet in their hallway was very long.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43It's an enormous hall.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46On you go. So, you're a sausage roll in the carpet.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49So, I thought it'd be a fun way to pass the time,
0:42:49 > 0:42:51- and I lie down and let her roll me up.- Mm-hm.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54So I have my head sticking out and my arms are stuck in.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57She then ran to the kitchen and grabbed some Marmite,
0:42:57 > 0:43:00brings it back and smothers my face in it,
0:43:00 > 0:43:05and then calls over our parents' elderly toxic-breath dog to lick all the Marmite.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07Ooh!
0:43:07 > 0:43:10But it worked out fair in the end because it turned out
0:43:10 > 0:43:12the dog didn't love Marmite and threw up on her shoes.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14No.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16Very poor end. Very poor episode.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18Well done, everyone.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23If you would like to join us on the show and have a go in the Red Chair,
0:43:23 > 0:43:25you can find out about it at this address.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28Thank you so much to my guests tonight.
0:43:28 > 0:43:29Paloma Faith, everybody!
0:43:32 > 0:43:33Mr Russell Brand!
0:43:36 > 0:43:38And the lovely Emily Blunt!
0:43:38 > 0:43:42Join me next week, same time. I'll see you then.
0:43:42 > 0:43:43Goodnight and goodbye!
0:44:05 > 0:44:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd