Episode 7

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:00:14. > :00:24.Is the home of the talk show audience and here in amongst the

:00:24. > :00:25.

:00:25. > :00:29.herd we find the mighty alpha male. LAUGHTER

:00:29. > :00:31.He spent the last hour drinking at the watering hole.

:00:31. > :00:41.LAUGHTER And soon he will be looking for a

:00:41. > :00:42.

:00:42. > :00:45.suitable mate. LAUGHTER

:00:45. > :00:55.Now the audience starts to respond as he utters his characteristic cry.

:00:55. > :00:59.

:00:59. > :01:09.Let's start the show! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:01:09. > :01:10.

:01:10. > :01:16.Hello! Hello! Thank you very much. Welcome one,

:01:16. > :01:22.welcome all. Thank you. Thank you very much. What wonderful specimens

:01:22. > :01:25.you all are! LAUGHTER

:01:25. > :01:29.Have some of you been marking your territory, have you, have you? I

:01:29. > :01:32.have got some big show business beasts, as you might have guessed,

:01:32. > :01:39.wildlife legend, Sir David Attenborough is here.

:01:39. > :01:44.Yes. Star of Charlies Angels, it is only Cameron Diaz.

:01:44. > :01:53.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Actress and director, Kathy Burke

:01:53. > :01:55.is on the show. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:01:55. > :01:59.Plus yes, there is more, we've got music from the fantastic Scissor

:01:59. > :02:03.Sisters. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:02:03. > :02:13.What a fantastic line-up. It does have a familiar ring to do, doesn't

:02:13. > :02:15.

:02:15. > :02:19.it, David Cameron Burke! LAUGHTER

:02:19. > :02:22.Now, I'm going to be talking to Cameron about her new film. What to

:02:22. > :02:29.expect when -- What To Expect When You're Expecting. A lot of of

:02:29. > :02:35.people capture the magic moment their baby arrives. I hope no one

:02:35. > :02:41.is one squeamish because we have got a photo of Angelina Jolie's

:02:41. > :02:45.baby being delivered. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? We don't know. I'm

:02:45. > :02:51.told that subconsciously women choose a man based on the kind of

:02:51. > :02:57.baby they would like. So my tip ladies, pick a man with a small

:02:57. > :03:02.head! LAUGHTER

:03:02. > :03:06.Seriously. That lady is going, "If only I thought of that." I can't

:03:06. > :03:12.wait to talk to Sir David Attenborough. He has filmed so

:03:12. > :03:14.many... Yeah, give him a round of applause.

:03:14. > :03:20.APPLAUSE He has had an amazing career. He

:03:21. > :03:29.filmed so many memorable wildlife sequences. Here is a bear catching

:03:29. > :03:31.a salmon and here he is a few minutes later ready to eat it.

:03:31. > :03:36.LAUGHTER Am I on the menu? I remember there

:03:36. > :03:46.was one sequence where a lion failed to catch a zebra and went

:03:46. > :03:48.

:03:48. > :03:50.hungry, but not everyone found it sad.

:03:50. > :03:53.LAUGHTER You would love to know, what are

:03:53. > :03:57.they laughing at? LAUGHTER

:03:57. > :04:02.What amuses zebras? David had to film the mating rituals of many

:04:02. > :04:12.animals. They always seem up for the mating. Don't they always seem

:04:12. > :04:13.

:04:13. > :04:15.up for the mating? When they find out they were being filmed...

:04:15. > :04:21.LAUGHTER Oh they are playing, the sex tape.

:04:21. > :04:24.Let's get some guests on. Welcome the fabulous Scissor Sisters.

:04:25. > :04:31.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It's Kathy Burke.

:04:31. > :04:34.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE How are you? I'm good.

:04:34. > :04:37.Have a seat. Have a seat. Have a seat.

:04:37. > :04:44.He is the king of the jungle, it is Sir David Attenborough.

:04:44. > :04:51.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Good to see you, sir. Very nice to

:04:51. > :04:53.see you. Have a seat. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:04:53. > :05:03.And she is our star guest, it is Cameron Diaz.

:05:03. > :05:08.

:05:09. > :05:12.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Sit down.

:05:13. > :05:17.Welcome to all three of you. .It is Very nice to see you all. We are

:05:17. > :05:20.excited to see all three of you, but I happen to know Cameron, you

:05:20. > :05:29.are excited to see David. I am so excited.

:05:29. > :05:33.Really? I told them backstage we were making Sir David Attenborough

:05:33. > :05:43.a sandwich. He is the meat in the middle our sandwich.

:05:43. > :05:48.I will leave you to it. He is our slices of bread -- he is our meat

:05:48. > :05:57.and we are the slices of bread. Didn't you want to be a zoologist?

:05:57. > :05:59.Really. I wanted to study...

:05:59. > :06:04.LAUGHTER I can teach you all sorts of things.

:06:04. > :06:08.I've learned a lot from you already. Things I picked up on backstage, we

:06:08. > :06:13.won't mention those, but I ended up studying the behaviour of animals.

:06:14. > :06:18.It happened to be human animals as an actor, I study human behaviour.

:06:18. > :06:21.And lots of discoveries? Lots of discoveries.

:06:21. > :06:25.Big surprises. I have more surprises when I watch

:06:25. > :06:34.your show. You should see the outtakes!

:06:34. > :06:42.would love to see the outtakes. Maybe we should arrange a viewing.

:06:42. > :06:48.Kathy, do you watch David's programme? I do.

:06:48. > :06:55.Have you got animals? I have got animals, not wild animals. A couple

:06:55. > :06:58.of pusies and a dog. What do you call them? Well, me dog

:06:58. > :07:08.is called Shenanigans because we're Irish.

:07:08. > :07:08.

:07:08. > :07:18.Do you sit in a park at night going, "Shenanigans." No. She only gets

:07:18. > :07:24.her full name if she is naughty. Over wise she is Shanny, Poodle.

:07:24. > :07:29.Lots of nicknames and then I have got two cats, Dave the Rave so-

:07:29. > :07:36.called because when he was a kitten, he looked like he was up all night

:07:36. > :07:37.on ecstasy. There wasn't a pick on him.

:07:37. > :07:38.LAUGHTER And his sister is called Missy

:07:38. > :07:48.Elliot because she is... LAUGHTER

:07:48. > :07:53.

:07:53. > :07:56.She is like that. APPLAUSE

:07:56. > :07:59.Well, we want to celebrate Sir David because it is a huge year for

:07:59. > :08:00.you, not just The Queen having a Diamond Jubilee, 60 years of

:08:00. > :08:03.broadcasting. APPLAUSE

:08:03. > :08:09.It is phenomenal. Phenomenal. And still going strong? Yes, well not

:08:09. > :08:13.sure about strong, but still going. Is it being marked in some way?

:08:13. > :08:19.Have animals organised a concert? What's going to happen? Is there

:08:19. > :08:24.some big do? No, we are going to do three programmes about looking back

:08:24. > :08:33.over 60 years,. But you are pushing boundaries and breaking new

:08:33. > :08:38.technology. This new series for Sky, the Kingdom of Plants in 3D, it is

:08:38. > :08:43.similar cast on Sky 3D and in terms of the film, is what is is new the

:08:43. > :08:46.way it is being filmed, or are we still finding things out about the

:08:46. > :08:53.plants? Surprisingly lots of things we don't know about plants, you

:08:53. > :08:57.know. There is a plant called Sun Due which we have here.

:08:57. > :09:02.It is in the clip. It is a common plant. There is a

:09:02. > :09:08.couple of different species in the moorlands and so on, but it is a

:09:08. > :09:13.plant which has hairs on its leaves or little tips of sticky stuff at

:09:13. > :09:19.the end and it eats insects and when the insect comes in, it closes

:09:19. > :09:25.around it and and sucks it up. But if an insect comes there, and that

:09:25. > :09:27.moves over, but this, not these, moves over, but this, not these,

:09:27. > :09:31.but this one then moves over. So there is some communication between

:09:31. > :09:33.this hair and that hair. We don't know what it is. We don't know how

:09:34. > :09:37.it happens. Well, let's have a look at that

:09:37. > :09:47.happening. What is amazing is how beautiful it is.

:09:47. > :09:53.I find it hypnotic. The colours are extraordinary.

:09:53. > :10:03.Plants may seem passive and inactive, but in fact, they move.

:10:03. > :10:07.

:10:07. > :10:14.These are among the most mysterious. Sun Dews, each tentacle has a

:10:14. > :10:23.glistening droplet. It may look like nectar, but it's not.

:10:23. > :10:32.It's a glue. There are tentacles which have not

:10:32. > :10:40.been touched by the insect and now start to bend towards it.

:10:40. > :10:49.Finally the Sun Dew begins to fold its whole leave around its prey.

:10:49. > :10:52.There will be no escape from this lethal embrace.

:10:52. > :10:57.APPLAUSE Really Beautiful.

:10:57. > :11:07.So the time lapse cameras on there, but do they wait for a fly to come

:11:07. > :11:15.in or do they go, "There is a fly.". LAUGHTER

:11:15. > :11:18.Dinner time. LAUGHTER

:11:18. > :11:21.It must have been a joy to film this because it was filmed at Kew.

:11:21. > :11:24.The great thing about Kew, there are plants from all over the world,

:11:24. > :11:27.plants from the mountains, from the jungles and deserts and they are

:11:27. > :11:31.all there. And not far from your house. That

:11:31. > :11:36.must be a relief because even your last television series, they sent

:11:36. > :11:40.you off to the North Pole and the South Pole? Yes. Which, that's

:11:40. > :11:50.physically really demanding, isn't it? Well, only if you do it in 36

:11:50. > :11:54.

:11:54. > :11:56.hours, but I have to tell you, I didn't walk.

:11:56. > :11:59.LAUGHTER You have to wait for a helicopter.

:11:59. > :12:01.While you are waiting for it, you are living in tents, you know, but

:12:01. > :12:06.they are comfortable tents, warm tents.

:12:06. > :12:08.But then they send you outside and make you do bits to camera?

:12:08. > :12:12.very quickly. LAUGHTER

:12:12. > :12:17.No, it is true. But actually it is a doddle, you know. If you get the

:12:17. > :12:21.right gear, there is no problem, you know, but the difficulty is if

:12:21. > :12:24.things go wrong. If you lose a glove, you may well have lost two

:12:24. > :12:29.or three fingers, you know. Yes.

:12:29. > :12:33.But if you don't lose a glove and you do things right, it's a cake

:12:33. > :12:41.walk. Cameron, you did a wildlife series?

:12:41. > :12:47.I did. I did a show called, yes, I did. I am not as well... Did you

:12:47. > :12:52.strangele snakes? I have had snakes. My first pet, when I was eleven, my

:12:52. > :12:58.mum and dad said, "What do you want for your birthday?" I got a snake

:12:58. > :13:03.for my 11th birthday and he was a king snake named Norton. Really?

:13:03. > :13:13.Her name was Norton. LAUGHTER

:13:13. > :13:13.

:13:13. > :13:19.Norton? You know the Honey mooners and Norton was his side-kick. They

:13:19. > :13:24.are just things that happen in my family and I did a show called

:13:24. > :13:27.Tripping and I travelled around and... To Tanzania.

:13:28. > :13:31.And I had that experience with the chimps there and their morning

:13:31. > :13:41.ritual when they get up in the morning and the first thing the

:13:41. > :13:41.

:13:41. > :13:48.alpha do is put his bum over the side and take a a crap and goes and

:13:48. > :13:50.bangs the female. Wow. Pardon me. That footage is worth

:13:50. > :13:55.something. It is just the order of things and

:13:55. > :14:01.then he has breakfast, of course, after that and and that's how his

:14:01. > :14:11.day starts. Correct? Yes. So I witnessed the correct thing?

:14:11. > :14:19.

:14:19. > :14:22.It is Cameron Diaz! LAUGHTER

:14:22. > :14:25.Because you do, you know, you do learn a lot from watching these

:14:25. > :14:28.programmes, but the odd thing is they still have the power to shock

:14:28. > :14:31.in terms of the level of violence and things. Are you self policing

:14:31. > :14:34.in terms of what you show or is there some BBC body that goes,

:14:34. > :14:37."That's too gruesome.". People say we show too much. If they saw what

:14:38. > :14:43.we left in the cutting room, the editing room that we cut out, they

:14:44. > :14:49.would be appalled. You know, lions, when a lion catches a wildebeest,

:14:49. > :14:53.it eats it alive and we don't show that. We show it very abbreviated,

:14:53. > :14:59.but you have to be careful what you do because if you cut it all out

:14:59. > :15:02.then you are telling an untruth. You are telling fairy stories and

:15:02. > :15:05.naturalist programmes are not about fairy stories, they are about the

:15:06. > :15:09.real world and you have to make a judgement and do it in the middle.

:15:09. > :15:16.And when you are filming the mating, does it get to a point where you

:15:16. > :15:20.feel like an old perve and, "I must stop filming this now because it

:15:21. > :15:30.has gone on too long?". You see, your imagination is running away

:15:31. > :15:35.

:15:35. > :15:40.Have you ever see birds mate? seen pigeons mate. How quick,

:15:40. > :15:49.they're gone. With a lot of flapping about. They are showing

:15:49. > :15:53.off to each other. The copulation, like that. It's known as the

:15:53. > :16:00.kloakial kiss. Did you know that, Kathy? It's only what I've

:16:00. > :16:09.experienced! Now, it has a name. Now it has a name. Thank you for

:16:09. > :16:14.that. One of the things that does make your films so disTink ifive is

:16:14. > :16:18.your your voice over. It gives it an air of seriousness and

:16:18. > :16:22.enlightenment. We have a wildlife clip. I say wildlife, there is an

:16:22. > :16:32.animal in it. If we look at this little slip clip. You may of seen

:16:32. > :16:50.

:16:50. > :17:00.You feel his pain, don't you? If we play that again with serious mike.

:17:00. > :17:10.If you do a little voice over. Let's see if it elvaits it. --

:17:10. > :17:11.

:17:11. > :17:16.elevates it. Here it comes. Evening falls on a lush grasslands of

:17:16. > :17:25.Croydon as the humble tortoise gently mounts his choosen mate. And,

:17:25. > :17:35.in a dance as old as time itself, it rears its head and emits the

:17:35. > :17:44.

:17:44. > :17:53.APPLAUSE So, now, Cameron Diaz, as chance

:17:53. > :18:01.would have it, you have a new film out. I do! I ask you and then...

:18:01. > :18:05.Here I am. I'm here to sell it on your show. Now, it's What To Expect

:18:05. > :18:11.When You're Expecting. It opens tonight. I have seen it. It has all

:18:11. > :18:17.sort of strands in it. It's very funny. It's a little bit sad.

:18:17. > :18:24.has moments of poignantness. It's a human experience. It's very real.

:18:24. > :18:26.Not too upsetting. It's funny and uplifting. It's not only about

:18:26. > :18:30.pregnant women. It's about the experience of creating a child or

:18:30. > :18:35.bringing a child into your life. Five different stories that cover

:18:35. > :18:41.it, five different ways, obviously, from the man's point of view. It's

:18:41. > :18:48.like... In our society we believe that our sole purpose, as

:18:48. > :18:58.naturalist, we know that procreation is what we are here for,

:18:58. > :19:05.of course. Not here. It's what we're for. It doesn't mean that

:19:05. > :19:09.it's right for everyone or that, you know, you jump into it. Because

:19:09. > :19:13.we think we're supposed to have babies, people get married have

:19:13. > :19:21.babies they don't realise it changes your life. Funny that!

:19:21. > :19:28.play a fitness guru. I do. A lot of the fitness part of your body is

:19:29. > :19:37.your own? It is mine, yes. In the movie, some of the bigger bumps in

:19:37. > :19:44.this picture that isn't all you? The belly isn't mine and the

:19:44. > :19:50.breasts aren't mine. They're enhanced. Really? They got bigger

:19:50. > :19:55.and bigger. The chicken cutlets you put in, those creepy things you

:19:55. > :20:00.stuff. There is 15 in there. There was one point where I had, it

:20:00. > :20:04.didn't make it into the movie, I do a flash - I flash my breasts saying,

:20:04. > :20:10."can you believe this is what happens when you get pregnant, why

:20:10. > :20:19.didn't I get pregnant sooner" they were prosthetic breasts that were,

:20:19. > :20:25.amazing! I was like wow! These are awesome. I went to show everybody.

:20:25. > :20:30.I was like, "where's the director. I have to show it to them. The park,

:20:30. > :20:35.let's go". I was like, "look at these". They looked very really.

:20:35. > :20:40.Did you keep them? I did. When I wore them in the movie. We were

:20:40. > :20:47.shooting in Atlanta, which we call Hotlanta. If you are have been

:20:47. > :20:54.there, you know, it gets hot and swampy. You don't know what they

:20:54. > :21:01.are like here. No, they don't. all moss and alligators live in it.

:21:01. > :21:07.It got swampy up in this business here. Because of the heat. It was

:21:07. > :21:12.caused by heat, it wasn't me. By the end of the scene, my breasts

:21:12. > :21:19.that were so beautiful and up here were literally hanging down it my

:21:19. > :21:24.legs within half an hour. It was so upsetting. I was like, "it's

:21:24. > :21:29.nature". We have a clip of you and your prosthetics in action. This is

:21:29. > :21:35.you and the father of your child having a fit. You are doing a

:21:35. > :21:40.fitness class at the same time. Front page. I was going to tell you.

:21:40. > :21:45.I didn't think it's right. I'm his mother. I'm his father. Parenthood

:21:45. > :21:53.is about compromise. Then compromise. I have. Every

:21:53. > :22:00.relationship there is an Alf fa and a beta. I'm an alpha. Jinx. What

:22:00. > :22:08.are you guys doing, come on, pick it up! Right. There is always an

:22:08. > :22:15.alpha and a beta. Are you the alpha? I like to have an alpha

:22:15. > :22:23.around. I like someone to over alpha me. I'll see your alpha. Oh,

:22:23. > :22:33.yeah. You know what I'm saying. yeah. It's a very alphacouch I

:22:33. > :22:40.would say. Are you alpha? No, I am alpha. Clearly you are alpha.

:22:40. > :22:46.It is a given. When actresses have to pretend to give birth, how hard

:22:46. > :22:50.is that? I heard some actresses have had accidents doing that?

:22:50. > :22:57.facing acting. You are straining, something has to give. You are face

:22:57. > :23:04.acting. You are not pushing down here. Don't! That's not OK. It can

:23:04. > :23:09.be really dangerous. Have you ever given birth? I didn't think so. I

:23:09. > :23:13.can't remember, you mean acting wise? Yes. Certainly not in real-

:23:13. > :23:23.life. You would remember that? would remember that, David, yes. I

:23:23. > :23:26.

:23:26. > :23:33.don't think so. Somebody said when we did the Slops Waynehe tte had a

:23:33. > :23:40.baby. She had a brown baby. It was bought for her. You played a baby.

:23:40. > :23:45.You played little Lulu? Yes. That was really weird! You have attended

:23:45. > :23:52.quite a lot of births? I have been there, my sister gave birth three

:23:52. > :23:57.times. The first one was a C section. I was 24/25. I had no idea

:23:57. > :24:02.what I was getting into it. My sister said, "you have to be in

:24:02. > :24:09.here if I'm going to do this". I went to the room after they cut her

:24:09. > :24:17.open. I walked in there was blood every where. It was full on surgery.

:24:17. > :24:24.Her intestines were on a plate next to her. Then the vaginal birth. She

:24:24. > :24:28.had two natural births later was amazing. Nature is an amazing

:24:28. > :24:37.engineer. It's unbelievable. I'm watching my sister giving birth. I

:24:37. > :24:45.have her situation in front of me. I'm, like,... The doctor shows, ",

:24:45. > :24:53.this is the skull" it's like a hanker chef. She's pulling on it

:24:53. > :24:59.and making shapes. I'm like, "where's the skull?" She said, "the

:24:59. > :25:03.pieces have collapsed in to go through the vaginal canal". It

:25:03. > :25:09.collapsed in. It's like that. As soon as the baby comes out it goes

:25:09. > :25:17.like this. The pieces all go like this. It creates this dome, like a

:25:17. > :25:21.skull. Like a head? Nature is unbelievable. So clever that guy.

:25:21. > :25:26.So clever. Sir David, watching the film where lots of things happen,

:25:26. > :25:31.are human beings poorly designed? You know, animals give birth in a

:25:31. > :25:35.field? It was one of the problems, the size of the pelvis to get a

:25:35. > :25:39.skull through. That is what restricted the size of the head in

:25:39. > :25:44.evolutionary terms. There was a remarblg markable thing, which

:25:44. > :25:47.Cameron described, it wasn't that it collapsed in. It starts folded.

:25:47. > :25:52.The plates are actually collapsed on one another like. That it is a

:25:52. > :25:58.comes out, so it opens like that. There is a little hole in the

:25:58. > :26:06.middle, between the plates, where in fact you can see the arteries,

:26:06. > :26:16.you can see the... Women used to squat, didn't they? Yeah. Some lazy

:26:16. > :26:16.

:26:16. > :26:21.old bitch like marry ant know wet decided I have to lay-down. Women

:26:21. > :26:31.always used to squat? They do have in tribal societies. You can also

:26:31. > :26:37.

:26:37. > :26:43.do it in a swimming pool. Yes, nice. PLOOP! So, now, Kathy Burke? Hello.

:26:43. > :26:45.You're back! Well... APPLAUSE

:26:45. > :26:52.Because usually people when they say they will stop acting they go

:26:52. > :27:01.away for a month then they are like, "oh, I'm back" you really meant it

:27:01. > :27:07.stp 10 years. Nearly 11. You came back last year for Tinker Taylor.

:27:07. > :27:11.Yes. What a posh thing to come back for. A nice posh part. It has been

:27:11. > :27:17.11 years. Do people remember you? Do you get recognised in the

:27:17. > :27:22.street? Yes. If I have my North Face jacket on, then it's Perry.

:27:22. > :27:29.Yeah. Wasn't there a person who came up to you, do you know the

:27:29. > :27:33.story I'm talking? Yeah, I know the story. Thats with a cab driver. He

:27:33. > :27:43.uttered those beautiful words, "don't take this the wrong way, but

:27:43. > :27:53.

:27:53. > :27:59.you really look like Kathy Burke". A hard one to respond to. Yeah.

:27:59. > :28:04.Well, you're back on our screens. A new series for Sky Atlantic Walking

:28:04. > :28:09.and Talking, it starts on 25th June. You came up with the idea, you have

:28:09. > :28:18.written it is. It is you. It is your childhood? Yes. Them two

:28:18. > :28:21.lovely girls. Which one is you? can't guess? That is Amy Metcalf

:28:21. > :28:27.and Aimee-Ffion Edwards. Where that has come from is about a year ago,

:28:27. > :28:31.two years ago, Sky did a series called Little Crackers for

:28:31. > :28:37.Christmas. Which was anecdotes from childhood. I wrote this incident

:28:37. > :28:44.that happened between me and my friend, who was called Mary, when I

:28:44. > :28:48.bumped into the Clash and go the their autograph. They signed my new

:28:48. > :28:54.Musical Express. It was a sweet story. People took to it. Sky asked

:28:54. > :29:02.me if I would write more with these girls. So, it's, sort of, my life,

:29:02. > :29:08.but at the age of 14/15 waiting to get into a great drama club in

:29:08. > :29:17.Islington. It's about that. All of that happened, they walk and talk.

:29:17. > :29:27.You are in it? Yes it's enter cut with me and actor called Sean gall

:29:27. > :29:27.

:29:27. > :29:32.ker. I'm Angry Nun and he's Pretty Nun. Are they based on real nuns?

:29:32. > :29:36.They're based on my dad. Reading about your childhood, hearing you

:29:36. > :29:41.talk about your childhood, you could of made quite a different

:29:41. > :29:44.series. You could of made a bleak and serious film. You see it and

:29:45. > :29:50.remember it as funny? Yeah, of course. I mean, I didn't have a mum.

:29:50. > :29:55.My mum died when I was a baby. You know, it was quite a, sort of, you

:29:55. > :29:59.know very, sort of, '60s, '70s upbringing. All very rough in

:29:59. > :30:02.Islington and stuff. I remember everything with such fondness.

:30:02. > :30:07.Particularly the freedom we had as kids. It was very different to kids

:30:07. > :30:12.now. You know, I think they are wrapped up in cotton wool a bit. On

:30:12. > :30:17.the one hand, they are very over protected, and yet on the other

:30:17. > :30:27.hand they have access to the internet were they can see a frog

:30:27. > :30:40.

:30:40. > :30:42.LAUGHTER Life on the internet!

:30:42. > :30:44.LAUGHTER You know what I mean, it is showing

:30:44. > :30:47.more innocent time and life happened around a phone box really

:30:47. > :30:49.and just walking home. Listen, we have got a clip and it

:30:49. > :30:59.is you and your friend with a phone box having a slightly creepy

:30:59. > :31:08.encounter. Hey, don't I know yous?

:31:08. > :31:17.Are you sure? There is a wee bell in my head going ring-a-ding. Do

:31:17. > :31:23.you think you are funny? Do you think you are Ken Dodd?

:31:23. > :31:32.You have got the hair and the teeth. You have got terrible teeth, man?

:31:33. > :31:41.Why have you got such terrible teeth? Don't be so rude.

:31:41. > :31:46.That's Amy Metcalfe. She has beautiful choppers and a beautiful

:31:46. > :31:49.red hair. We had to make her look rough. They were both a couple of

:31:49. > :31:54.darlings. And you are still still friends

:31:54. > :31:59.with people you knew from back then? Some people. My oldest friend

:31:59. > :32:06.in the world who I have known since I was four is the audience.

:32:06. > :32:10.Where is she? Is she the lady with the microphone above her head?

:32:10. > :32:13.That's Diane. Is Diane, is this the friend who

:32:13. > :32:17.used to dress you up? Yes. LAUGHTER

:32:17. > :32:24.Yeah. Diane practised motherhood on LAUGHTER

:32:24. > :32:33.Yeah. She is used to scrape, I had no eyebrows. I had no eyebrows so

:32:33. > :32:38.she scraped my hair into a bob... bobble hat. She used to scrape my

:32:38. > :32:45.hair into a cream bobble hat and put me in a pram and wheel me up

:32:45. > :32:46.and down the Essex Road telling everyone I was her baby.

:32:47. > :32:54.LAUGHTER And we weren't little. We were

:32:54. > :33:02.about 12? LAUGHTER

:33:02. > :33:06.I would be in a pram with a fag. LAUGHTER

:33:06. > :33:09.OK. It is time for some music now. I saw these guys performing live

:33:09. > :33:14.last week and they tore the roof off the place and I'm sure they

:33:14. > :33:21.will do the same tonight. With an exclusive performance of Baby Come

:33:21. > :33:31.Home, it is the Sir David Attenborough.

:33:31. > :33:40.

:33:40. > :33:44.# I don't mind # If your running around

:33:44. > :33:50.# Giving someone the time # It don't matter

:33:50. > :33:58.# Just to know that you love me # I'm laying in bed

:33:58. > :34:01.# With a whole lot of wonder # Going through my head

:34:01. > :34:05.# This dog with a bone # Gets a little bit lonely

:34:05. > :34:09.# I'm too cool to lose my control # Your too cool to go

:34:09. > :34:16.# Later I just don't wanna know # Your out there happening at all

:34:16. > :34:24.# Baby come home to me # It's half past quarter to three

:34:24. > :34:30.# Baby come home to me # Said I'm that kind of guy

:34:30. > :34:35.# When I see a grown man cry # Baby come home to me

:34:35. > :34:38.# Baby one more pill # Till I close my eyes

:34:38. > :34:42.# To a pain I feel # I can't sleep

:34:42. > :34:48.# Lest your laying beside me # I got no doubt

:34:48. > :34:53.# That would be just fine # If you were living without me

:34:53. > :34:57.# I just can't let you start to deny

:34:57. > :35:01.# Now midnight strikes # I don't know where you been

:35:01. > :35:09.# I still want to make love tonight # When you come stumbling in

:35:09. > :35:15.# Baby come home to me # It's half past quarter to three

:35:15. > :35:18.# Baby come home to me # Said I'm that kind of guy

:35:18. > :35:28.# When I see a grown man cry # Baby come home to me

:35:28. > :35:32.

:35:32. > :35:37.# Baby, what do we do? # Baby, what could you say?

:35:37. > :35:40.# To drop my fears go away # Was it that red letter day

:35:40. > :35:46.# With no more chips to play # Will you come home

:35:46. > :35:56.# Baby come home # Baby come home to me

:35:56. > :36:08.

:36:08. > :36:14.# It's half past quarter to three # Baby come home to me

:36:14. > :36:23.# Said I'm not that kind of guy # Baby come home to me

:36:23. > :36:28.# Baby come home home # The Scissor Sisters, ladies and

:36:28. > :36:33.gentlemen. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

:36:33. > :36:43.Come and join me. Do you mind if you shove up a little bit? There

:36:43. > :36:46.

:36:46. > :36:56.you go. Hello, lovely lady. Sit down.

:36:56. > :36:57.

:36:57. > :37:04.This is David and Cameron. Look at the orange dresses. We are

:37:04. > :37:10.complimenting. I'm not going to stand for this

:37:10. > :37:13.pitting women against one another. Fight. Fight. Fight. We don't do

:37:13. > :37:19.that. That was gorgeous, thank you very much.

:37:19. > :37:24.That's on the new album Magic Hour which comes out on 28th May.

:37:24. > :37:34.On a sofa of animal lovers, Jake you have a little dog, Toby.

:37:34. > :37:47.

:37:47. > :37:50.His name is Toby, Tobias, Toblerone. I have a dog.

:37:50. > :37:54.LAUGHTER You sent us a picture of Toby. He

:37:54. > :37:58.looks as if he should be smoking a pipe.

:37:58. > :38:04.He is a real most of masterpiece theatre.

:38:04. > :38:10.He is making me cry. I miss him so much. You can't underestimate the

:38:10. > :38:16.power afBorder Terrier. That's what Shenanigans is, a

:38:16. > :38:20.Border Terrier. Is it true, you don't really like dogs?

:38:20. > :38:25.No, it is not that I don't like dogs... She doesn't like dogs.

:38:25. > :38:31.I have had a preference for cats mostly through my life.

:38:31. > :38:35., but I do like dogs. I have had very special dogs in my life. I

:38:35. > :38:45.like cats, I love their independence. I like the psychology

:38:45. > :38:49.of a cat. They are not, "Hey, do you like me? Do you like me?" A cat

:38:49. > :38:53.will be, "I will be right over here.". I agree, I like their style

:38:53. > :38:59.so much better. David, you love all animals, but

:38:59. > :39:09.there is one animal, you are not a fan of. I don't care for rats.

:39:09. > :39:15.

:39:15. > :39:21.Really. Do you like rats? I raised rats for my snake.

:39:21. > :39:26.How cruel are you? The eyes were gorged out of his head and it is

:39:26. > :39:31.like, "You poor little sucker.". have been sitting on the lavatory

:39:31. > :39:34.in India and I have had a rat come up in between my legs.

:39:34. > :39:39.That's terrible. That's not fun. I had the same thing with the

:39:39. > :39:42.centipede in Nepal. I was over like, you know, the hole in the ground,

:39:42. > :39:46.in the middle of nowhere... Yes. Yes.

:39:46. > :39:50.I looked down and there was a a centipede this long coming out of

:39:50. > :39:58.the toilet itself. It was terrifying. Thank god you don't sit

:39:58. > :40:04.on those holes, you squat over them. It is nearly time for the red chair.

:40:04. > :40:09.Is it a guessing game for Sir David Attenborough. You have an animal

:40:09. > :40:14.impersonation. Is it a guessing game for Sir David? Is it better to

:40:14. > :40:20.tell him what you are doing before you do it? I do an impersonation of

:40:20. > :40:27.one of the various and amazing time of New Guinea birds of paradise and

:40:27. > :40:36.their mating dance. OK. Do we need music for this?

:40:36. > :40:38.Where should she do it? On the table for a start!

:40:38. > :40:43.APPLAUSE It is a rather big display. The

:40:43. > :40:48.first thing they do is, they clean their area, right. They clean their

:40:48. > :40:52.area and make sure it is all good, right. This is the male, right?

:40:53. > :40:57.course! I'm going to take my shoes off for

:40:57. > :41:07.this. Cleaning. LAUGHTER

:41:07. > :41:28.

:41:28. > :41:38.APPLAUSE There are 42 different species of

:41:38. > :41:39.

:41:39. > :41:43.birds of paradise and I know which one that is.

:41:43. > :41:45.APPLAUSE The sixth wired Parotia.

:41:45. > :41:49.APPLAUSE Before we go, just time for a story

:41:49. > :41:53.or two in the red chair. Who is up first? You set the bar very high

:41:53. > :41:58.with your impersonation. Who are you? My name is Freda.

:41:58. > :42:01.Where are you from? I'm from London. What do you do? I have come here on

:42:02. > :42:11.business. Do you make something? I sell hair

:42:12. > :42:12.

:42:12. > :42:13.extensions. Do you really? Let's watch them fly!

:42:13. > :42:19.APPLAUSE LAUGHTER

:42:19. > :42:29.Shall we have another one? LAUGHTER

:42:29. > :42:31.

:42:31. > :42:34.What's your name, sir? Donnelly. Donny. Where are you are you from?

:42:34. > :42:44.Texas. Do you work here? My wife works

:42:44. > :42:44.

:42:44. > :42:47.here. He is sorted old Donnelly. Donny. I'm off to a show, I will

:42:48. > :42:53.see you later. I was a crane operator in Texas and

:42:53. > :43:00.I was, about 275 feet in the air on the job site, we had several port a

:43:00. > :43:04.poties that had to be compleand cleaned twice a week and I picked

:43:04. > :43:09.one up, I was told it was OK to pick up and take it over to the

:43:09. > :43:16.truck. I picked it over and took it over to the truck and when I set it

:43:16. > :43:23.down, the door opened and one mad Mexican ran out!

:43:23. > :43:27.You can go, Donny! Run! Run! Well done everyone in the red chair.

:43:27. > :43:32.If you want to join us on the show and have a go in that same chair,

:43:32. > :43:37.you can. Contact us via our website. Ladies and gentlemen, please thank

:43:37. > :43:39.my guests tonight, the Scissor Sisters.

:43:39. > :43:42.APPLAUSE Kathy Burke.

:43:42. > :43:52.APPLAUSE Sir David Attenborough.

:43:52. > :43:55.

:43:55. > :43:56.APPLAUSE And Cameron Diaz.