:00:14. > :00:19.Hey you! Yes you. Standing next to the woman who now wishes she wasn't
:00:20. > :00:24.sitting there. Are you tired? Listless? About to host a talk show
:00:24. > :00:31.with big guests and worried you've got nothing to say? Then why not
:00:31. > :00:41.try drinking! Yes, drinking. Feel all your old confidence flooding
:00:41. > :00:46.
:00:46. > :00:56.back. And soon you'll be able to shout Let's start the show!
:00:56. > :01:03.
:01:03. > :01:13.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh! Oh! Hello everybody! Good
:01:13. > :01:13.
:01:13. > :01:16.evening. Welcome. Hello. Hello.
:01:16. > :01:19.Welcome all. If you want me Blue Nun, I'm available. Yes, we're
:01:19. > :01:22.talking adverts because tonight we're joined by the star of
:01:22. > :01:32.brilliant advertising drama, 'Mad Men'. Don Draper himself, Jon Hamm
:01:32. > :01:38.
:01:38. > :01:41.is here. Oscar-winning actress and star of new sci-fi blockbuster
:01:41. > :01:44.'Prometheus', Charlize Theron is on the show. Plus comedian, actor and
:01:44. > :01:53.the man behind the legendary Alan Partridge, Steve Coogan is here.
:01:53. > :02:00.And we even have music, from the wonderful Rumer. And, what an
:02:00. > :02:10.exciting time to be in the country, it's the Jubliee weekend! I can't
:02:10. > :02:11.
:02:11. > :02:19.think of anyone who won't be waving a Union Jack. I can't! Maybe one
:02:19. > :02:21.person! We've got two bank holidays. Mind you, if you think that's a
:02:21. > :02:29.long weekend, try flying back from Azerbaijan with Engelbert
:02:29. > :02:32.Humperdinck. It's further than you think! There's going to be a huge
:02:32. > :02:40.Jubilee Concert with JLS playing. It'll be great. I mean, who doesn't
:02:40. > :02:45.like JLS? The highlight of the weekend is the flotilla on the
:02:45. > :02:55.Thames. All the Royals have their own unique boats. The Queen...
:02:55. > :03:03.
:03:03. > :03:07.Charles... And Harry. It's Friday night and already the members of
:03:07. > :03:17.the Royal Household have been overdoing the celebrations. They
:03:17. > :03:23.
:03:23. > :03:26.have! It is sleeping, right? It is sleeping? Yes, it's going to be a
:03:26. > :03:29.weekend of partying. I can't imagine what the Queen's going to
:03:29. > :03:39.look like after four days' non-stop drinking. Let's get some guests on!
:03:39. > :03:39.
:03:39. > :03:49.But first, knowing me, Graham Norton, knowing you, Steve Coogan.
:03:49. > :03:49.
:03:49. > :03:54.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I'm Mad about this man, it is Jon
:03:54. > :04:04.Hamm! Look here! How are you? Very well.
:04:04. > :04:05.
:04:05. > :04:10.And the Monster star, it is Charlize Theron! Oh, baby, oh! Oh!
:04:10. > :04:20.Charlize Theron! Oh, baby, oh! Oh! Sit down.
:04:20. > :04:20.
:04:20. > :04:24.Before I go on to another thing, I know I will get this wrong a lot,
:04:24. > :04:29.Charlize THERON? You the first person who has said it perfectly.
:04:29. > :04:35.Amazing. 15 years and you came along.
:04:35. > :04:45.By the way, do you know each other outside of being back there or on a
:04:45. > :04:49.sofa? I know Jon... And I don't know Steve! I know him, I have seen
:04:49. > :04:56.him on the telly. You know that is not real! I know.
:04:56. > :05:02.It is the Jubilee weekend, do you have plans? I was invited, I guess
:05:02. > :05:06.to sit next to the Queen on the boat? No, you are joking! That's
:05:06. > :05:13.amazing. You are joking? I'm not going to do
:05:13. > :05:23.it! I don't know her! It's four hours! It's a long thing and what
:05:23. > :05:28.are we going to talk about. I don't own crowns or tiara s or not.
:05:28. > :05:33.Are you joking? No, I am completely joking.
:05:33. > :05:41.He has bin invited on the boat. confused now, have you been invited
:05:41. > :05:46.on the boat? Did you lie to me as well? It's a
:05:46. > :05:54.great story. I didn't even know there was going to abboat.
:05:54. > :06:00.These two are thinking, "How do they get on the boat?" Just another
:06:00. > :06:05.thing you don't have in common with the Queen! Now, Charlize Theron.
:06:05. > :06:08.Now we are delighted you are here for all sorts of reasons.
:06:08. > :06:18.I'm so happy to be here, I'm a huge fan.
:06:18. > :06:23.
:06:23. > :06:29.Thank you! Such a ham! You did not have to say that! It means that you
:06:29. > :06:33.are here and Prometheus is finally out! It is in cinemas it is finally
:06:33. > :06:37.out. This has been so hyped and anticipated.
:06:38. > :06:43.It is like an elephant pregnancy. People have been waiting and
:06:43. > :06:48.waiting. I have seen it, I enjoyed it, I feel like I can't say
:06:48. > :06:51.anything about it. Like there is a sniper there waiting to take you
:06:51. > :06:58.out. Yeah, like Ridley Scott will come
:06:58. > :07:02.out from a rope and kill me. When you got the script, did you have to
:07:03. > :07:08.seen sign a letter in blood? Well, a version of that. They don't like
:07:08. > :07:15.to have lots of scripts floating around with this, as everybody knew
:07:15. > :07:24.that he had this in development for like 33 years, yeah... It is like
:07:24. > :07:32.an elephant's pregnancy! I think they were, "You are so rude." I am
:07:32. > :07:37.a lady. Keep them together. Stit still! Any way, I was in Malaysia,
:07:37. > :07:41.it was on monsoon season, on holiday with my family. I get a
:07:41. > :07:45.text from Ridley Scott you have to read the script in two hours,
:07:45. > :07:53.others it will implode on you, you have to let me know. There was a
:07:53. > :07:59.massive storm going on. I could not get a Wi-Fi connection. A little
:07:59. > :08:08.Malaysian man met me with an umbrella and we hiked up the hill,
:08:08. > :08:12.I literally sat with my rain coat and my laptop. I only read half a
:08:12. > :08:16.page. It was Ridley Scott, I should be so greatful.
:08:16. > :08:22.Ridley Scott has kept the theme of strong women? Yes.
:08:22. > :08:29.You don't need to know the Alien movies, this is a separate thing?
:08:29. > :08:34.It originated a long time ago as the idea of wanting to do a prequel.
:08:34. > :08:39.Then they realised that there was more to explore if you didn't have
:08:39. > :08:44.to play in that sand box, so they made it a stand-alone film. You
:08:44. > :08:50.don't have to know anything about Alien. If you do, you will find
:08:50. > :08:54.little gems here and there. Little Waldos, but really, anything
:08:54. > :09:00.other than the last eight minutes of the film feels like it is from
:09:00. > :09:06.that family. Obviously it is you, it is a is
:09:06. > :09:11.Noomi Rapace and Guy Pearce and Guy Pearce is amazing in it? He is
:09:11. > :09:15.incredible. He plays Ann droid in Spoiler!
:09:15. > :09:19.I'm not a spoiler. Here comes Ridley Scott! He's
:09:19. > :09:24.amazing in it. I get to do fun stuff with him. So that was fun.
:09:24. > :09:29.We have a clip. This is near the beginning, so it contains no
:09:29. > :09:37.spoilers. OK.
:09:37. > :09:41.Doctors, Miss Vickers would like to have a word before the adventure
:09:41. > :09:44.begins. I think that there may be a little confusion about the
:09:44. > :09:50.relationship. If you find anything down there, you will not engage to
:09:50. > :10:00.them, talk to them, you will do nothing but report back to me.
:10:00. > :10:04.Is there an agenda that you are not telling us about? We have paid a
:10:04. > :10:09.trillion dollars to find the place. If you found the place, we would be
:10:09. > :10:19.persuing your agenda, but you didn't. That makes you an employee.
:10:19. > :10:20.
:10:20. > :10:26.Cheers! APPLAUSE Tust be -- it must be fun to be in,
:10:26. > :10:31.people are so excited to see it? is nice that people want to see a
:10:31. > :10:41.movie you are in, it is no pressure. The other thing, we have to
:10:41. > :10:51.acknowledge, what a beautiful sofa it is tonight! See, if you are a
:10:51. > :10:52.
:10:52. > :10:57.very handsome man it helps. But we have Jon and Steve.
:10:57. > :11:06.If people at home are looking at their ugly child asleep, going,
:11:06. > :11:10.there is hope. Charlize, you blossomed later in life, as a
:11:10. > :11:15.child? You were not the prettiest of children, is that fair? Are you
:11:15. > :11:24.talking about the fact I had no teeth until I was three? That will
:11:24. > :11:31.be the one. I did. I was sick as a baby, I had jaundice and I was
:11:31. > :11:36.allergic to my mum's breast milk. The sicker I was getting, the more
:11:36. > :11:41.antibiotics I was getting. It rotted my upper teeth. They had to
:11:41. > :11:45.cut them out. For some reason the fangs survived it and my bottom
:11:45. > :11:52.teeth. That is all I had until I was ten years old.
:11:52. > :11:58.God! I know, you guys, it was so hard! It's a shame you never grew!
:11:58. > :12:04.You have made up for it! I was always the lanky, skinny, tall girl
:12:04. > :12:08.with no teeth. I know! Life was really tough.
:12:08. > :12:15.You have great ones now! I think that school reunions are really
:12:15. > :12:25.good for you now! How annoying, Jon Hamm, you, here is a picture of you
:12:25. > :12:30.
:12:31. > :12:38.in high school. This looks like an Abercrombie & Fitch model shot.
:12:38. > :12:44.Is that your mid-riff? It was the 80s.
:12:44. > :12:54.It didn't stop there, you did cut it? That was on purpose! That is a
:12:54. > :12:59.
:12:59. > :13:05.look. I was 17! Cos, no-one could accuse Jon Hamm of being an
:13:05. > :13:11.overnight seven vaigs, you plugged away for a long time? Yes, I did.
:13:11. > :13:17.-- sensation. Yes, I did. I landed in LA in 94
:13:17. > :13:23.rand 95 and proceeded not to work for a solid three years.
:13:23. > :13:28.I was there at that time! Thank you for taking may jobs. I waited
:13:28. > :13:33.tables and bar tended and did that whole circuit.
:13:34. > :13:39.Did you make a deal to yourself about when this was going to go on
:13:39. > :13:47.for and how long? I did a deal with myself, if I got to 30 without a
:13:47. > :13:52.break, I would slink back. Even the big break, getting Don
:13:52. > :13:58.Draper in 'Mad Men', that was not easy? No, I had to audition for it
:13:58. > :14:03.seven or eight times. They wanted somebody famous. I was
:14:03. > :14:07.not that so, they had to be convinced. I had to audition and
:14:07. > :14:11.audition and audition. And did they tell you to your face
:14:11. > :14:19.that they did not think you were sexy enough? No. I only recently
:14:19. > :14:24.heard that. Like, how recently? Just now!
:14:24. > :14:30.you, by the way! No, that was, apparently they told the writer and
:14:30. > :14:36.the creator that they did not think I was sex any enough... Where they
:14:36. > :14:43.blind? Well, thank you. I mean, are they still alive and working?
:14:43. > :14:47.are all gone. That's what I would think! I had them murdered! No...
:14:47. > :14:51.I'm glad no-one told you, that is an awkward call.
:14:51. > :14:57.Sure, that would be weird, but it worked out OK.
:14:57. > :15:05.Mad Men, it is one of those shows, people don't just like it, they
:15:05. > :15:11.love it. It is Casey. It is a very accurate portrayal of the 1960s,
:15:11. > :15:16.but the fanss are fanatic about it? Yes, it has all been documented so
:15:16. > :15:22.there are crazy fans who will say it was not raining on December 14,
:15:22. > :15:27.1968, this is clearly bull shit. You think maybe you have too much
:15:27. > :15:31.time on your hands, but it is remarkable. The show has a
:15:31. > :15:35.phenomenal research department. They do actually get a lot of that
:15:35. > :15:40.stuff right, down to the weather. We play off a lot of historic
:15:40. > :15:47.events that happen. And season five, we are in the
:15:47. > :15:53.fifth season, obviously it has won four Golden Globes Awards, 15Emmys,
:15:53. > :15:59.but amazing stuff, most tuling of all of how successful Mad Men is,
:15:59. > :16:07.it has spawned a range of barbis! Is that not weird, Barbie would
:16:07. > :16:10.make a doll of a man that smokes and drinks and shags around. It
:16:10. > :16:20.seems off-brand. You don't want to leave that doll
:16:20. > :16:28.with any other dolls. It will get very inappropriate very quickly.
:16:28. > :16:33.Raggedy Anne is crying! Sorry, sweetheart, don't call! It comes
:16:33. > :16:40.with its own leather briefcase and it has a trench coat it is lovely.
:16:40. > :16:43.Is it for real? That's amazing! is the Barbie fashion model. You
:16:43. > :16:49.can collect the range. That is incredible.
:16:49. > :16:56.Are you getting a doll for Prometheus? No, I'm gel kpwrous.
:16:56. > :17:04.I have your doll from -- No, I'm jealous.
:17:04. > :17:10.I have your doll from Monster. That did not sell so well.
:17:10. > :17:20.It is amazing, you think normally you have to anybody a movie like
:17:20. > :17:21.
:17:21. > :17:30.Prometheus to get an action figure, but not a movie from the 60, -- 60s,
:17:30. > :17:36.about advertising eagents? Alan Partridge did never have a doll?
:17:36. > :17:41.there were masks, but why would anyone want to wear a mask?
:17:41. > :17:46.terms of endorsements, as celebrities, you can make money out
:17:46. > :17:54.of that, but Steve Coogan you walked away from a lot of money?
:17:54. > :18:00.was offered about... Go on, say it. I was offered �2 million to do an
:18:00. > :18:04.advert for McDonald's. I wouldn't advertise it as I wouldn't.
:18:04. > :18:09.I negotiated and pushed the fee up as high as I could to see what they
:18:09. > :18:15.would pay. I kept saying I want more, I want more. Then they said
:18:15. > :18:21.they would pay me �2 million. I said "no", but I just wanted to see
:18:21. > :18:27.how high they would go. Now, that round of applause there
:18:27. > :18:32.is the only thanks you will get for walking away from �2 million.
:18:32. > :18:38.The thing is about year later when I had not been doing that much work.
:18:38. > :18:45.I thought, "Is hit, I should have done that." Now, advertising it is
:18:45. > :18:50.regulated now. About the time of Mad men it was a
:18:50. > :18:55.different world and it was a little less politically correct. So these
:18:55. > :19:01.are genuine articles of adds that were around. Here is one: Don't
:19:01. > :19:05.worry, darling, you didn't burn the beer. Like she is pleased she
:19:05. > :19:10.married an alcoholic. Like, who does the shopping? Back
:19:10. > :19:18.then it was the wife who went to the store to buy the stuff. To
:19:18. > :19:26.advertise this they use this... You mean a woman can open it?! All by
:19:26. > :19:35.herself! Oh, I'm going to buy that. This product thinks I'm an idiot.
:19:35. > :19:41.And it's ketchup. It is not a safe. It is not just the sentiment,
:19:41. > :19:46.sometimes the phrasing of the slogans would not work nowadays:
:19:46. > :19:54.Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere! As true today as it
:19:54. > :20:01.ever was. This is my favourite, though. This
:20:01. > :20:07.is for, I don't know why it would be this, but it is an early morning
:20:07. > :20:17.laxative. The add says: 6.00Am, you are feeling punk. 58am, you are
:20:17. > :20:19.
:20:19. > :20:28.full of spunk! What a busy two hours they were! Well done, all the
:20:28. > :20:32.adds! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Going back to Don Draper, I am
:20:32. > :20:36.jealous of the way they drinks all day during work.
:20:36. > :20:42.That is not a character choice, that is just how he works.
:20:42. > :20:46.And talking about drinking, Jon Hamm you are drinking again in your
:20:46. > :20:50.new movie Friends With Kids. Which I have seen and enjoyed so much.
:20:51. > :20:55.Thank you. Written and dread by Jennifer
:20:55. > :21:00.Westfeldt. Lovely and talented. Hey, that is us.
:21:00. > :21:07.We've been together 14 and some odd years.
:21:07. > :21:14.Give that a round of applause! Can I just say, I caught a woman's face
:21:14. > :21:24.in the audience going... Oh! I swear, I did. People applauding and
:21:24. > :21:28.
:21:28. > :21:38.she was going... (mouths expletives ), "I washed, what was the point
:21:38. > :21:41.
:21:41. > :21:45."?" Stupid long-term partner! washed, that is great! It is
:21:45. > :21:50.Britain, we have standards. Thank you for washing.
:21:50. > :21:58.Now, it is you and jen ter and the rest of the cast is a -- it is you
:21:58. > :22:06.and Jennifer and the rest of the cast is like a mini Bridesmaids
:22:06. > :22:16.reunion? Well, the movie was shot before the Bridesmaid film came out.
:22:16. > :22:17.
:22:17. > :22:22.So we had O' Dowd, he is talented and he was available. So we got him
:22:22. > :22:25.it was a good thing too as Bridesmaids came out as this
:22:25. > :22:29.international phenomena, we would not have been able to afford
:22:29. > :22:35.anybody had we shot it after that. So it was lucky for us.
:22:35. > :22:42.Again, you are, what I liked about the movie is that the characters
:22:42. > :22:47.are not straightforward, but your character is one of the less
:22:47. > :22:52.sympathetic characters? A darker soul. He is not the happiest guy.
:22:52. > :22:58.What the film does is examine how relationships between couples shift
:22:58. > :23:02.once children enter the picture. Jen and I don't have kids, but we
:23:02. > :23:05.know a lot of people that do and watched how their relationship
:23:05. > :23:10.shifted a little bit. Sometimes it is for the better, sometimes for
:23:10. > :23:15.the worst. For my character it is a little bit for the worst. He
:23:15. > :23:23.doesn't hand it will very well. Well, it opens on Friday, 29th of
:23:23. > :23:27.June. Here is a clip. At my dad's funeral... Hey! Hey!
:23:27. > :23:33.my God. How are you going? Welcome back.
:23:33. > :23:41.Good to have you you back. We ran into a couple of friends
:23:41. > :23:51.from work. In the bathroom.
:23:51. > :23:51.
:23:51. > :23:57.Who? Dave and Barbara. Can you believe this, $100 a plate
:23:57. > :24:07.and they are bringing in toddlers. Are they allowed here. We are here
:24:07. > :24:12.to live the dream, leave the kiddis at home. We're pregnant.
:24:12. > :24:21.You are friends with kids, have they seen the film? They have.
:24:21. > :24:25.Do they agree with it? Well, Adam Scott who plays the lead read the
:24:25. > :24:31.script and came to Jen and said is this about him and his wife.
:24:31. > :24:36.We were like, no, not at all, but yes, it is certainly not about
:24:36. > :24:42.anybody, nor is it, it is just more of an observation. That is the
:24:42. > :24:45.beginning of the film. We set the scene with the fancy Manhattan
:24:45. > :24:50.couples whose lives are about to change.
:24:50. > :24:54.Charlize, you have become a mum, recently. You have your son,
:24:54. > :24:58.Jackson? Yes. Two months ago? A councille of
:24:58. > :25:03.months ago. You have been busy, promoting Snow
:25:03. > :25:11.White and this, how are you coping? You just do. I have wanted this for
:25:11. > :25:16.so long. So, you know, I want to keep him humble, so he is like a
:25:16. > :25:23.new-born. I am having the private jets, it is not the norm, but I
:25:23. > :25:29.have time with him. He was really good until we had to take the first
:25:29. > :25:35.commercial flight and he freaked out. Who are these people?! Where
:25:35. > :25:39.is my own plane! Are you finding, obviously there is a lot of
:25:39. > :25:47.interest in you and your son, are you finding that the paparazzi have
:25:47. > :25:51.stepped it up a gear in terms of following you? Yes, it is an
:25:51. > :25:55.uncomfortable subject for me. I have never been comfortable with it.
:25:55. > :25:59.Now more than ever I really realise that I had it so good when it was
:25:59. > :26:04.just me. When you are responsible for this little, you know, it was
:26:04. > :26:07.really hard the first time we, I didn't release photos or anything,
:26:07. > :26:11.so I knew when we went to the airport that would be the first
:26:11. > :26:15.time. He did this little thing where he grabbed my shirt. It is
:26:15. > :26:23.hard. It is really hard. Every part of your body just wants to cover
:26:23. > :26:30.that child and protect him. Yes. But, you know, I wish it was
:26:30. > :26:34.different. I feel like you can shoot me up and down and get my fat
:26:34. > :26:40.angles and my double chins, I'm free game, but it is hard when
:26:40. > :26:46.children are involved. The press behaviour is very much in
:26:46. > :26:53.the news at the moment, we have the Leveson Inquiry, Steve, you were at
:26:53. > :27:01.the Leveson Inquiry. One of my funniest gigs.
:27:01. > :27:05.Are you surprised at how the story has grown and grown? It is funny,
:27:05. > :27:13.when I took legal action against News Corp about two, three years
:27:13. > :27:20.ago, it was a lonely place to be. There was not all of this commotion
:27:20. > :27:30.and in term of the public attitudes, it was like a few whingeing
:27:30. > :27:37.
:27:37. > :27:41.celebrities, but it grew and grew. I found out that saw Glenn
:27:41. > :27:51.Mulcaire's notebook and the pass words to my phone account, which,
:27:51. > :27:53.
:27:53. > :27:58.I'm slightly embarrassed to say was Ferrari. Was Ferrari! Now it is
:27:58. > :28:04.Ford Mondeo! It was not the place to be.
:28:04. > :28:09.But in those days I was advised against it, don't do that, don't
:28:09. > :28:15.make enemies of News Corp that they can stitch you up, but they had
:28:15. > :28:20.already done so, so I did not have skeletons left in my closet. It had
:28:20. > :28:23.been said. As I said to Paul at the Daily Mirror, he could have the
:28:23. > :28:30.hard drive off my computer, there is really nothing else there. It
:28:30. > :28:35.was just regular porn! And the connection to Fox has it made
:28:35. > :28:39.impact in the States? Are people talking about it, or is it just a
:28:39. > :28:42.British thing? There is definitely awareness.
:28:42. > :28:52.It has happened in the States, it has to.
:28:52. > :28:58.Whenever there is a leaked photo of somebody... That is fine. I'm all
:28:58. > :29:03.for that! The thing is they are not leaked, they are stolen. Well...
:29:03. > :29:11.Well... You sent those to me in total... You never replied back!
:29:12. > :29:15.You never replied back. Did I look fat? Not a good angle? You will
:29:15. > :29:19.never get an answer to that question, ever.
:29:19. > :29:25.Watching it now, do you think it will change? Do you think it will
:29:25. > :29:28.ever happen again? I think that something will change. There have
:29:28. > :29:32.been previous enquiries into the press standards, they have said
:29:32. > :29:36.that they will behave themselves, but this is crunchtime, really.
:29:36. > :29:41.There will be some sort of regulation. I think that Leveson is
:29:41. > :29:48.doing a brilliant job. I think he is aware that there is what they
:29:48. > :29:52.call the "chill" effect, so the press are behaving themselves,
:29:52. > :29:56.being very well behaved in the hope that people will say that they are
:29:56. > :30:00.not really that bad. Of course, when the inquiry goes away and then
:30:00. > :30:05.they can get back up to their old tricks, but I think it will be
:30:05. > :30:11.different this time. I think that there will be a sea change.
:30:11. > :30:18.I think what Steve is saying is that now would be an optimum time
:30:18. > :30:25.to do real crazy things in London and they will not report anything.
:30:25. > :30:31.Me and Jon are going to a strip club after this. What, I'm not
:30:31. > :30:34.invited. You are performing! I think have I
:30:34. > :30:39.�20. We have to talk about Alan
:30:39. > :30:43.Partridge. He is back. The book, Alan Partridge, we have to talk
:30:44. > :30:46.about it, now it is out in paperwork back.
:30:46. > :30:51.Thanks for that plug, it was seamless.
:30:51. > :30:56.I am holding a book, it was no accident. Look what I am reading,
:30:56. > :30:59.oh, my God, you are here. I have been careful with the spine! Did
:30:59. > :31:04.you have to read loads of the celebrity autobiographys to get the
:31:04. > :31:08.tone. The tone is very good. They asked me to do my own. I
:31:08. > :31:12.didn't want to do that, I would have to drop so many people in it.
:31:13. > :31:17.So I thought I would not do that, it is too embarrassing as well. I
:31:17. > :31:25.thought I would do an Alan one it is all made up, so it does not
:31:25. > :31:30.matter, but the weird thing, is it in WH Smith as the factual section,
:31:30. > :31:34.the non- fiction section. It is all made up! But that is the confusion
:31:34. > :31:43.with Alan Partridge. People do think of Alan Partridge as being a
:31:43. > :31:50.real person? Some come up to me and say, "Here, Alan, can I have your
:31:50. > :32:00.autograph?" Then I say it is Steve and they say, "Yeah, all right,
:32:00. > :32:06.Alan." You are back on screen? doing a TV series for Sky Atlantic.
:32:06. > :32:11.It is Alan broadcasting with not Radio Norwich, but North Norfolk
:32:11. > :32:16.Digital. It was a whole series of those. A couple of specials. One of
:32:16. > :32:19.those is Alan going around Norfolk and Norwich explaining his
:32:19. > :32:28.background, where he is from and visiting.
:32:28. > :32:33.Is this welcome to the Places of my Life? Yes. The other one is a
:32:33. > :32:38.pseudo art book programme called Open Books, which Alan is
:32:38. > :32:43.interviewing in a worthy, considered pretentious tone about
:32:43. > :32:50.his book. It doesn't sound funny, but it really is funny! We have a
:32:50. > :32:54.clip of Welcome to the Places of My Life. Here is a clip.
:32:54. > :33:00.What I am walking in the countryside I normally like to use
:33:00. > :33:06.a stick, but rather than buy one of those aluminium ones made in China
:33:06. > :33:14.by kids, I have bought a British one, made in Britain by trees it
:33:14. > :33:20.simple, just find somewhere like this, snap away the excess branches,
:33:20. > :33:24.very simple and that one is a bit too big. I would look like Moses, I
:33:24. > :33:30.don't want that, so leave it on the side and basically just jump
:33:30. > :33:37.against it like that. Fine! I'm fine! Now I have a stick.
:33:37. > :33:47.Still a little too long. Put it there again. One more time... Argh!
:33:47. > :33:55.Too short! There! You can give that one to a child, just throw it away.
:33:55. > :34:00.This one, absolutely, absolutely perfect.
:34:00. > :34:05.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Beautifully done! Right, it is
:34:05. > :34:11.music time now. This is one of the greatest singers around at the
:34:11. > :34:17.moment. I've been playing this song a lot on Radio 2. Performing her
:34:17. > :34:21.single 'PF Sloan', it is the wonderful Rumer!
:34:21. > :34:31.# No, no, no # Don't sing this song
:34:31. > :34:35.
:34:35. > :34:39.# It belongs to PF Sloan # I have been seeking PF Sloan
:34:39. > :34:47.# But no-one knows where he has gone
:34:47. > :34:53.# No-one never heard the song that boy sent whingeing
:34:53. > :35:02.# Now you might sigh and you might moon
:35:02. > :35:12.# And sweat about the skin and bone # But you just smile and read the
:35:12. > :35:14.
:35:15. > :35:19.rolling stone while he continued singing
:35:19. > :35:24.# No, no, no, no # Don't sing this song
:35:24. > :35:32.# No, don't sing this song # No, no, no, no
:35:32. > :35:42.# Don't sing this song # It belongs to PF Sloan
:35:42. > :35:44.# From now on # Listen he's come and bound to
:35:44. > :35:53.stay # He's taken all my sins away
:35:53. > :36:00.# I heard it on the news today # And it set my ears to ringing
:36:00. > :36:05.# Can't you hear the people singing # No, no, no no, no, no
:36:05. > :36:15.# Don't sing this song # No, don't sing this song
:36:15. > :36:19.
:36:19. > :36:26.# No, no, no, no, no, in no, no # It belongs to PF Sloan
:36:26. > :36:33.# From now on # Last time I saw PF Sloan
:36:33. > :36:40.# He was summer bit and winter blown
:36:40. > :36:46.# And he turned that corner all alone and he was singing
:36:46. > :36:52.# Listen to him singing # No, no, no, no, no, no, no
:36:52. > :37:00.# Don't sing that song # No, don't sing this song
:37:01. > :37:10.# No, no, no, no, no, no, no # Don't sing this song
:37:11. > :37:17.
:37:17. > :37:24.# It belongs to PF Sloan # Oh, from now on
:37:24. > :37:34.# No, no, no, no, no, no, no # No, don't sing this song
:37:34. > :37:44.# No, no, no, no, no, no, no # No, don't sing this song
:37:44. > :37:45.
:37:45. > :37:53.# It belongs to PF Sloan # Oh, from now on # CHEERING AND
:37:53. > :37:59.APPLAUSE Beautiful! Rumer, everybody! Come
:37:59. > :38:09.on over, you. Oh, you lovely lady. Thank you very much.
:38:09. > :38:14.
:38:14. > :38:17.Fantastic. Come and sit down, do.
:38:17. > :38:24.Very good. That single is out now, it is off
:38:24. > :38:30.the album Boys Don't Cry which is out now. Very good.
:38:30. > :38:35.Well, Jon, you are not meeting the Queen, don't the end there, Rumer,
:38:35. > :38:43.she has only gone and sung for President Obama! I did.
:38:43. > :38:46.That could be Photoshoped, we are not sure, it could just be a
:38:46. > :38:56.restaurant and it looks like you are singing to President Obama.
:38:56. > :39:11.
:39:11. > :39:17.Close. I wanted to buy them something like
:39:17. > :39:23.you do when you go to someone's house, so I thought about candles
:39:23. > :39:27.and flowers, in the end I went to Marks & Spencer and got them a tin
:39:27. > :39:31.of biscuits. �6.99 and I took the sticker off!
:39:31. > :39:36.You are crazy. They won't know, it is a handy tin.
:39:36. > :39:41.Thank you very much for doing that totally live, it was gorgeous.
:39:41. > :39:48.Loved your voice. We are almost out of time, but before we go, time for
:39:48. > :39:54.a story in the Red Chair. Who is up first? Hello, I'm Leslie.
:39:54. > :39:57.This is Leslie, everyone. Where are you fro? Elstree.
:39:57. > :40:02.Near the film studios? Yeah, not far.
:40:02. > :40:07.Does your story involve celebrity? No, just me.
:40:07. > :40:12.What do you do in Elstree? I'm an administrator for a charity.
:40:12. > :40:17.OK, we will draw a veil. Off you go.
:40:17. > :40:27.I was at a dinner party with the family, I had been eating olives.
:40:27. > :40:30.
:40:30. > :40:39.My dad told a joke... Showing off with her olives! It does not
:40:39. > :40:43.impress us, does it Rumer? �6.99 for biscuits?! Who is up next?
:40:43. > :40:49.Hello? They love you. What is your name? Jeremy.
:40:49. > :40:58.What do you do? I'm a student. Of? Acting.
:40:58. > :41:02.Where are you going? LAMDA... APPLAUSE
:41:02. > :41:06.LAMDA is very good. I'm in a mood, Steve, I'm in a mood.
:41:06. > :41:15.I can tell. Let's try one more. This is the one,
:41:15. > :41:18.the third one is a charm. Hello? What is your name? Louise.
:41:18. > :41:22.Where are you from? London, Shoreditch.
:41:22. > :41:24.Very cool. What do you do? I work for a
:41:24. > :41:34.fashion designer. Off you go.
:41:34. > :41:39.
:41:39. > :41:49.One time I pretended to be Charlize's sister.
:41:49. > :41:51.
:41:51. > :41:58.Which Charlize, this one? Yes, sorry, Charlize, not Charlice!
:41:58. > :42:08.draw the line with the last name! You can screw up my last name all
:42:08. > :42:12.you want, but, God damn it, not my first! OK, one more. This is it!
:42:12. > :42:18.This will be the last one. Hello, nice lady.
:42:18. > :42:25.Hello. What is your name? Jenny.
:42:25. > :42:32.Where are you from? Dutch/American. Where are you living now? Tufnell
:42:32. > :42:38.Park. She puts the tough into Tufnell!
:42:38. > :42:47.Don't mess with me! She is Jenny from the Block.
:42:47. > :42:57.Off you go. I was working at a or ang ue tang
:42:57. > :43:02.rescue centre. I love this story -- or anutang. I
:43:02. > :43:06.was working with the play area. Way was not aware of how it rolled in
:43:06. > :43:11.the rescue centre. I was observing the little ones playing when I felt
:43:11. > :43:21.something wet pressing against my palm, the palm of my hand. When I
:43:21. > :43:22.
:43:22. > :43:29.looked it was one of these ed to ler orangutangs master baiting
:43:29. > :43:34.himself with my hand. With his tiny little penis!
:43:35. > :43:38.walk! Tip me! There you go! Well done.
:43:38. > :43:42.We liked that. Well done everyone. If you'd like
:43:42. > :43:45.to join us on the show and have a go in the red chair, you can
:43:45. > :43:48.contact us via our website at this address: Thank you to my guests,