:00:06. > :00:12.This programme contains some strong language.
:00:12. > :00:18.We have one of Hollywood's most famous directors.
:00:18. > :00:25.He will be here any second. I better get a move on. Giddy up,
:00:25. > :00:35.Lightning, go! CRACK REINS
:00:35. > :00:45.
:00:45. > :00:52.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh! Oh!
:00:52. > :00:57.Welcome, one, welcome, all. Good evening. Oh! Let me tell you,
:00:57. > :01:02.ladies and gentlemen, we have got a great show for you tonight. Writer
:01:02. > :01:08.and director extraordinaire, Quentin Tarantino is here.
:01:08. > :01:10.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yes, he is. Top Scottish actor, James McAvoy is
:01:10. > :01:14.on the show. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hilarious
:01:15. > :01:19.comic, Alan Davies is here. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Plus we will
:01:19. > :01:29.be having music and a chat with the wonderful Emeli Sande.
:01:29. > :01:31.
:01:31. > :01:36.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I know! Good, isn't it? It's good. So excited to
:01:36. > :01:43.welcome Quentin Tarantino on to the show. He's either won an award or
:01:43. > :01:49.his car has been crushed! LAUGHTER Here is his new film. It is Django
:01:49. > :01:58.Unchained. Yes, the "D" is silent. Rather like the "N" in Tory cuts!
:01:58. > :02:02.LAUGHTER Think about it. It cooks slowly. Filtering through their
:02:02. > :02:05.brains. Tarantino's first big film was Reservoir Dogs. It features
:02:05. > :02:10.that scene where one of the gangsters is tied to a chair and
:02:10. > :02:18.has their ear cut off. He is tied to a chair. Who would volunteer to
:02:18. > :02:23.have their ears cut off?! LAUGHTER Me, please! Then I'll see Viva
:02:23. > :02:28.Forever! LAUGHTER He is such a hot director right now. The studios are
:02:28. > :02:33.offering him new projects. There is talk of him putting his own spin on
:02:33. > :02:43.a few classics - The Sound of Music. Yes. LAUGHTER Miss Marple. And
:02:43. > :02:46.
:02:46. > :02:53.everyone's favourite, The Snowman! LAUGHTER Let's get the guests on!
:02:53. > :02:59.Emeli Sande. APPLAUSE First, prepare to LOL, the man from QI,
:02:59. > :03:07.Alan Davies. There he is. APPLAUSE Oh! Hello, Sir. Hello, Graham.
:03:07. > :03:14.a seat. He is my favourite actor, it is James McAvoy, everybody.
:03:14. > :03:21.APPLAUSE Oh! Hello, Sir. Lovely to see you. Have a seat. He's the red-
:03:21. > :03:31.hot director, the King of Cool, it is Quentin Tarantino! APPLAUSE Oh!
:03:31. > :03:32.
:03:32. > :03:37.Oh! Have a seat. Welcome, all. Welcome, all. Now, I have to say, I
:03:37. > :03:46.don't want to be rude, but is it fair to say geeky, is it a geeky
:03:46. > :03:51.couch? LAUGHTER You are famous for - you have a great knowledge?
:03:51. > :03:56.afficionado couch! Are you like the American Stephen Fry?! James, are
:03:56. > :04:02.you geeky about film, or about other things? I'm geeky about some
:04:02. > :04:06.things and I'm geeky about Star Trek. I'm geeky about, not all
:04:06. > :04:12.motorbikes, but my one rubbish motorbike. Alan, you have sat
:04:12. > :04:16.through how many episodes of QI? 150. Are you an encyclopaedia?
:04:16. > :04:20.goes in one ear and out the other. I have no retention whatsoever.
:04:20. > :04:30.you not remember any of it? No. The only thing I remember is there is
:04:30. > :04:33.
:04:33. > :04:40.more than one moon. LAUGHTER remember that because Rich Hall was
:04:40. > :04:45.on the show and he said, "There's only one moon." That is quite
:04:45. > :04:55.interesting. It is. The only thing I can remember is not everyone's
:04:55. > :04:58.
:04:58. > :05:05.Peacock stinks after asparagus. Whose doesn't here? Mine does!
:05:05. > :05:11.could do a show of hands. Whose wee doesn't smell after asparagus? But
:05:11. > :05:21.it can change. No?! My Peacock didn't used to but now - the thing
:05:21. > :05:28.
:05:28. > :05:34.is it -- my pee didn't used to but now - the thing is... You know what
:05:34. > :05:43.they say about eating pineapple? Does that work? With What do they
:05:43. > :05:53.say? I love you are going to tell them! If you eat pineapple, you...
:05:53. > :05:53.
:05:53. > :05:58.Don't shi tirks it out whole! shit it out whole! APPLAUSE If you
:05:58. > :06:05.eat pineapple, it affects the taste of your sperm. For the better?
:06:05. > :06:15.yes. We could try it right now. Here's a pineapple! Any volunteers?
:06:15. > :06:17.
:06:17. > :06:21.We will be here for an hour! LAUGHTER If there is job in it, I
:06:21. > :06:28.will do anything. You have to plan ahead. You have to cut the
:06:28. > :06:33.pineapple, peel it, and maybe no- one is interested. You are going on
:06:33. > :06:42.a date, you have high hopes! window of opportunity. How long
:06:42. > :06:48.does it taste nice for? Is there an optimum moment? It's 10.30pm, I
:06:48. > :06:54.taste fantastic NOW! I do buy pineapple - I won't be able to buy
:06:54. > :07:00.it any more! They will go, "I know about you!" LAUGHTER Listen, we
:07:00. > :07:06.have got to talk - Quentin Tarantino, your current movie is on
:07:06. > :07:11.course to be the most commercially successful one so far? It might be
:07:11. > :07:15.yes. Django Unchained, I have seen it. I loved it. It is a proper
:07:15. > :07:20.Quentin Tarantino film. We get to see it on the 18th January. It is
:07:21. > :07:25.almost like a legend, a fable told through a western? Yes, it has a
:07:25. > :07:34.folklore kind of quality. It is about an ex-slave who is given his
:07:34. > :07:40.freedom and he becomes a bounty hunter. It is during slavery and he
:07:40. > :07:44.is an ex-slave who becomes a bounty hunter. His job is to kill white
:07:44. > :07:50.men and get the bountys for criminals who are hiding --
:07:50. > :08:00.bounties for criminals who are hiding out who have bounties on
:08:00. > :08:00.
:08:01. > :08:04.their head. We have a clip. This is Jamie Foxx as Django meeting
:08:05. > :08:14.Christopher Waltz, the bounty hunter. His life is about to change.
:08:15. > :08:16.
:08:16. > :08:24.This is my horse. What kind of doctor? Dentist. Did you purchase
:08:24. > :08:28.those men at the slave auction? Speak English! Please forgive me.
:08:28. > :08:34.Amongst your inventory I have been led to believe is a specimen I'm
:08:34. > :08:44.keen to acquire. Hello, you poor devils. Is there one amongst you
:08:44. > :08:57.
:08:57. > :09:07.who was a resident of the plantation? I am. Who said that?
:09:07. > :09:11.
:09:11. > :09:20.What is your name? Django. You are the one I'm looking for. APPLAUSE
:09:20. > :09:27.Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. always, a stellar cast, Samuel
:09:27. > :09:32.Jackson. Does anyone turn you down? Every once in a while it happens. A
:09:32. > :09:41.weird - one of the things was in the case of Pulp Fiction, I had
:09:41. > :09:47.worked with Michael on Reservoir Dogs. I thought he was terrific. I
:09:47. > :09:51.wrote the character that John Travolta played for him. I write
:09:51. > :09:56.the whole script. I'm working on it for seven months. He knows it is
:09:56. > :10:03.coming. He knows I'm writing it. He is like, "Oh yes, I can't wait to
:10:03. > :10:13.do it, it will be great." LAUGHTER Two weeks before I finish the
:10:13. > :10:13.
:10:13. > :10:20.script, he takes the job on Wyatt Earp and he can't do it. That
:10:20. > :10:28.explains the black mamba in Kill Bill 2. Did you have to fight to
:10:28. > :10:37.get John Travolta in it? No-one wanted him. The film he did before
:10:37. > :10:42.Pulp Fiction was Look Who's Talking 3. That's a great film(!) It's a
:10:42. > :10:49.trilogy! It is like Back To The Future! You are a young director,
:10:49. > :10:54.you have John Travolta and you are teaching him how to dance. I didn't
:10:54. > :11:04.have to teach him how to dance. Could you dance like that now?
:11:04. > :11:04.
:11:04. > :11:14.wanted him to dance a particular way. I'll do it! APPLAUSE Let me
:11:14. > :11:14.
:11:14. > :11:21.set it up. Twists can be boring. I wanted Vincent and Mia to have two
:11:21. > :11:30.different characters when they twist. When Vince twists, I wanted
:11:30. > :11:40.him to be rigid. APPLAUSE Like that. That's good. Thank you, thank you.
:11:40. > :11:40.
:11:40. > :11:48.When Mia twists, the image that I had in my mind was cat from the
:11:48. > :11:58.Aristocats. There is that one sing where she dances and she is like...
:11:58. > :11:58.
:11:58. > :12:08.LAUGHTER Just before we move off Pulp Fiction, have you seen the
:12:08. > :12:15.
:12:15. > :12:22.Pulp Fiction... You mean the Stephen King novel ...? That's
:12:22. > :12:27.Carrie! It is a bit of Ireland. It is a remote bit of Ireland. These
:12:27. > :12:37.students take a little clip from Pulp Fiction and they have dubbed
:12:37. > :12:40.
:12:40. > :12:50.it over so well with quite broad accents. Do you have an example?
:12:50. > :12:54.Here it is. I'm talking about a glass of beer. It is like being in
:12:54. > :13:04.McDonald's, you know what they call a quarterpounder with cheese in
:13:04. > :13:05.
:13:05. > :13:15.Paris? Do you know what a quarterpounder is? A Royale with
:13:15. > :13:15.
:13:15. > :13:21.cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? They call it Le Big Mac!
:13:21. > :13:27.LAUGHTER Isn't that good? Great. I would encourage those guys to do
:13:27. > :13:37.the entire movie. I would love to see that. You know what is coming?!
:13:37. > :13:41.
:13:41. > :13:47.You have my permission! Talking of directing John Travolta, you have
:13:47. > :13:55.filmed a film Welcome To The Punch. He sounds like a handful? You would
:13:55. > :13:59.have to ask his wife! LAUGHTER is great. He's the most sharp,
:13:59. > :14:09.intelligent, write it is best dialogue, the best characters...
:14:09. > :14:11.
:14:11. > :14:16.Hello?! Hello?! We will work that out! LAUGHTER He is unbelievable.
:14:16. > :14:22.He would do the running man for me to energise me. He would come up
:14:22. > :14:31.behind me and I would be getting ready to do a scene and he would go
:14:31. > :14:41.up behind me and he would go, "I'm going to fuck you up!" LAUGHTER
:14:41. > :14:51.sent me an e-mail saying that exact thing, for no reason. That's
:14:51. > :14:55.Welcome To The Punch. That is me with a lot of pineapple in me!
:14:55. > :15:01.you have had directors push you to the edge? Didn't you have a thing
:15:01. > :15:05.where you had a chase? I did. I had to do a scene, I had to get out of
:15:05. > :15:09.a bath and my wife in the show, not my real-life wife, she came round
:15:09. > :15:15.and she wanted something and I had it and then she took it and I had
:15:15. > :15:23.to chase her around the flat in the nude dripping wet. It was shot in
:15:23. > :15:30.February. LAUGHTER It took 11 hours to shoot. They're impressed! I had
:15:30. > :15:36.a really small, I didn't need any more flesh-coloured triangle taped
:15:36. > :15:41.over my tiny shrivelled genitals and I had to run round this set for
:15:41. > :15:45.11 hours and I had to pin her to the bed. The only time we stopped,
:15:45. > :15:55.they had to put more water on me. It is like when they get a whale on
:15:55. > :15:55.
:15:55. > :16:03.the beach. You might die if Yu don't -- if they don't keep him wet.
:16:03. > :16:09.I said to the director, "Have you got a problem with me?" No! When
:16:09. > :16:12.they made it, when they finished it, it was rubbish! APPLAUSE Going back
:16:12. > :16:18.to directing, Quentin Tarantino, this is your seventh movie. Have
:16:18. > :16:28.you thought of tackling Shakespeare? He's about to do
:16:28. > :16:31.
:16:31. > :16:36.Macbeth. I am. We are like Harry Potter, we are allowed... Maybe you
:16:36. > :16:44.don't care about the bad luck, I do! This might be my biggest hit
:16:44. > :16:51.ever! I said The Scottish Play's real name. It's good. It's got lots
:16:51. > :16:56.of blood and gore. It's got a moving forest. It is right up your
:16:56. > :17:03.strasse! People have made Shakespearean comparisons to my
:17:03. > :17:09.work... You have played Lady Macbeth? I did. LAUGHTER You did?
:17:09. > :17:13.made a bold choice(!) I was auditioning for places in drama
:17:13. > :17:19.courses when I was a teenager and they gave us a list of pieces to
:17:19. > :17:25.learn. And I went - I thought I would be different. I did Lady
:17:25. > :17:30.Macbeth. Not very well! LAUGHTER Look, I have a bit here. If you
:17:30. > :17:34.wanted to do a bit, we have marked it up. You probably know... I'm in
:17:34. > :17:41.the middle of rehearsing it. I do know that bit, I think. If you do
:17:42. > :17:48.that bit, there. I have got a little prop for you. There you go.
:17:48. > :17:58.LAUGHTER If you just read that. That is your line down THERE. Where
:17:58. > :18:03.it says Lady Macbeth. Maybe if you do the notes afterwards. OK. I
:18:03. > :18:05.promise I will be better than this if you come and see the play.
:18:05. > :18:08.Macbeth doth Murder sleep - the innocent sleep,
:18:08. > :18:10.Sleep that knits up the ravell'd sleave of care,
:18:10. > :18:12.The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,
:18:12. > :18:15.Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
:18:15. > :18:17.Chief nourisher in life's feast. Macbeth doth Murder sleep - the
:18:17. > :18:19.innocent sleep, Sleep that knits up the ravell'd
:18:19. > :18:21.sleave of care, The death of each day's life, sore
:18:21. > :18:24.labor's bath, Balm of hurt minds, great nature's
:18:24. > :18:34.second course, Chief nourisher in life's feast.
:18:34. > :18:35.
:18:35. > :18:44.What do you mean? That is the line! That's as is written. Quentin, we
:18:44. > :18:54.can certainly make it like cinema shape. Do you want to stand up? We
:18:54. > :18:58.
:18:58. > :19:05.have a bigger sword. That is more you, isn't it? Can we make it
:19:05. > :19:13.cinemascope? There you go. You are playing in Scottish, right? I don't
:19:13. > :19:23.have to. I'm making sure that was a Scottish accent! LAUGHTER Go with
:19:23. > :19:26.the Scottish accent. Stay with that. And so I think you are OK, but
:19:26. > :19:30.really, you know, you can't have a prop like this and let this jofr
:19:30. > :19:40.take you, man. You have to play -- overtake you, man. You have to play
:19:40. > :19:48.
:19:48. > :19:52.with it. This isn't a toothpick! LAUGHTER What is it? It is like
:19:52. > :19:59.stealthy Ninja directing! He is going to be pulling out these cool
:19:59. > :20:09.moves. Here we go. Shall we have a bit of music.
:20:09. > :20:11.
:20:11. > :20:13.MUSIC FROM PULP FICTION Action. Macbeth doth Murder sleep - the
:20:13. > :20:16.innocent sleep, Sleep that knits up the ravell'd
:20:16. > :20:18.sleave of care, The death of each day's life, sore
:20:18. > :20:20.labor's bath, Balm of hurt minds, great nature's
:20:20. > :20:30.second course, Chief nourisher in life's feast.
:20:30. > :20:31.
:20:31. > :20:38.Fuck you, you fucking fuck, what do you mean?! There you go! APPLAUSE
:20:39. > :20:43.I'm taking that. Beautiful. That was Tarantino. Jamie Lloyd is
:20:43. > :20:52.directing yours. Yes. Where and when can we see it? We will be on
:20:52. > :20:55.at the Trafalgar Studios from 9th February onwards. We have a
:20:55. > :20:59.wonderful outreach programme targeting first time theatre-goers
:20:59. > :21:05.and people who would not always feel that comfortable going to the
:21:05. > :21:12.theatre, so people who maybe feel alienated by the prices. On the
:21:12. > :21:17.first Mondays of every week, we make it affordable. Lots happens,
:21:17. > :21:21.it's easy to follow? A lot of killing. A lot of nearly sex!
:21:21. > :21:27.LAUGHTER Is it set now? Is it set then? It is set - it is like if we
:21:27. > :21:31.took all the hot topics of the day so economic disaster, environmental
:21:31. > :21:41.disaster, Scottish independence. Imagine they all happened at the
:21:41. > :21:42.
:21:42. > :21:46.same time and then 50 years later. Is it kilt or no kilt? No kilts. No
:21:46. > :21:56.Irn-Bru. There may be whisky and there will be blood. No haggis?
:21:56. > :21:58.
:21:58. > :22:02.That is a wedding invitation! LAUGHTER There may be haggi, but we
:22:02. > :22:06.have not rested... I suppose in a way it is fitting that you are
:22:06. > :22:13.playing Macbeth. So many people discovered you in Last King Of
:22:13. > :22:22.Scotland. Yes. APPLAUSE You look amazing there! How did you do that?
:22:22. > :22:32.You must have eaten a lot of pies! LAUGHTER The end of that film is so
:22:32. > :22:33.
:22:33. > :22:37.intense that you hang - it is worse than anything you have done. Oh!
:22:37. > :22:43.Check out my nearly six-pack! I don't have that any more. That must
:22:43. > :22:47.have been horrible to do? Yes, that was pretty nasty to do. Also, I was
:22:47. > :22:52.such a victim in that scene, not necessarily of circumstance,
:22:52. > :22:58.because I helped create that circumstance, but I was a victim of
:22:58. > :23:03.violence in that scene. I was being suspended on this little sea saw.
:23:03. > :23:07.How we had the money for CGI I don't know. There was no weight on
:23:07. > :23:11.these ropes that had these things going into my fake chest. I was
:23:11. > :23:15.acting and doing all my thing and stuff and I suppose I stopped
:23:15. > :23:21.breathing at one point. I stopped breathing for too long that I
:23:21. > :23:24.passed out. I'm balancing on this bicycle saddle and I fell off. I
:23:24. > :23:29.was hanging upside-down with this wire connected to my fake nipple
:23:29. > :23:33.which is made of silicon rubber and nobody ran in to save me as I was
:23:33. > :23:41.about to smash my head on the ground. They thought, "Crazy actors,
:23:41. > :23:50.they do this stuff all the time! He is probably just acting." Quentin,
:23:50. > :23:55.you strangled Diane, didn't you? did. How badly did you strangle
:23:55. > :24:01.her? It was interesting. The thing is when ever you do a close-up of
:24:01. > :24:04.somebody being strangled in a film, I never buy it. All right? When
:24:04. > :24:10.somebody is being strangled there is a thing that happens to their
:24:10. > :24:17.face and the way they turn a certain colour and their veins pop
:24:17. > :24:21.out. How do you know this?! I guess I don't know that for sure!
:24:21. > :24:28.LAUGHTER I can imagine. And it always seems fake, you know, they
:24:28. > :24:32.are doing this all the time. This was Inglourious Basterds? I talked
:24:32. > :24:42.to Diane and I said, "Look, here is what I would like to do if you are
:24:42. > :24:42.
:24:42. > :24:52.OK with it. I don't want any bullshit here." OK? "I want to do
:24:52. > :24:55.
:24:55. > :25:03.it because it is on me. I only want to do this once." I don't want you
:25:03. > :25:08.breathing afterwards! I said, "I'm going to be the hands and I'm going
:25:08. > :25:11.to just strangle you, all right?" LAUGHTER "I'm going to cut off your
:25:11. > :25:20.air for a little bit of time. We will see the reaction in your face
:25:20. > :25:28.and then we will cut." The stunt guy will be there. LAUGHTER We will
:25:28. > :25:37.do it once! And she trusted me. Wow! So we got a really good thing.
:25:37. > :25:44.It was real. It looked really good. Also, I was able to... Enjoy it?
:25:44. > :25:51.no. LAUGHTER I'm trying to get a reaction... APPLAUSE Do you ever
:25:51. > :25:56.try sex scenes in that kind of way? I'm going to put it in you, I will
:25:56. > :26:03.only do it once! I don't want to be here all day! APPLAUSE Is this
:26:03. > :26:07.making you nervous? You are acting again? You are doing Jonathan Creek
:26:07. > :26:15.again? We are. It is nicer than this? Someone once put a vacuum
:26:15. > :26:20.cleaner over my face and it sucked on my cheek. LAUGHTER Is this a new
:26:20. > :26:26.series? It is a one-off special. We might do more later in the year.
:26:26. > :26:33.Brilliant. I'm glad it is back. Thank you. It was weird that it
:26:33. > :26:39.went away. We have Rick Mayall and Joanna Lumley. When will it be on?
:26:39. > :26:49.At Easter. Does it involve a rabbit or Jesus? No. No rabbits and no -
:26:49. > :26:50.
:26:50. > :26:57.there is a kind of a resurrection... It is quite clever. I look forward
:26:57. > :27:03.to seeing it. Alan Davies, a stand- up comedian again. Yes. Ten years?
:27:03. > :27:07.It is longer. The last time I toured was in 1999. I did the
:27:07. > :27:12.Edinburgh Festival in 2001. Last year I toured around the UK and I'm
:27:12. > :27:18.doing two shows in Hammersmith in February. The 16th and 17th
:27:18. > :27:22.February. That's my poster. It's got well reviewed. You are kind of
:27:22. > :27:26.kicking yourself you didn't do it for so long? Kind of. I have
:27:26. > :27:30.enjoyed touring again. I enjoyed doing the show. I have two small
:27:30. > :27:36.children now. So when I'm at home, it is quite full-on and then when
:27:36. > :27:40.I'm touring, it is like a day out! LAUGHTER Wonder around - I went
:27:40. > :27:44.around Carlisle which turns out to be really nice, going in-and-out of
:27:45. > :27:51.the shops. I went to the pictures. It was like being on holiday. The
:27:51. > :27:57.show is going well. I have enjoyed it. It is called Life Is Pain,
:27:58. > :28:02.which doesn't sound full of laughs? I saw the poster and I thought,
:28:02. > :28:07."That looks like a talk about suicide." It came from an an ebg
:28:07. > :28:10.dote about a little girl who said that to her mum when she was being
:28:10. > :28:16.told off. She was about six-years- old. She is being told off. She
:28:16. > :28:21.said to her mum, "Life is pain." I thought it was hilarious! LAUGHTER
:28:21. > :28:25.Wait till I tell the audience. Oh! The same little girl on another
:28:25. > :28:31.occasion, the mum was telling her off, she turned to her mum and she
:28:31. > :28:36.said, "Even the people you love will betray you." It goes into a
:28:36. > :28:45.folder of notes of funny things. LAUGHTER Sounds like a character
:28:45. > :28:50.from one of your films. Or one of your kick arse films! That became
:28:50. > :28:54.the title of the show. It is about my family growing up, you know, and
:28:54. > :29:00.life is pain. Everyone's got a little bit. I don't dwell on that.
:29:00. > :29:05.Then it is quite a lot of stuff about sex toys! LAUGHTER There's
:29:05. > :29:11.bits about parenting in it? My dad features quite a lot. My own
:29:11. > :29:17.parenting. When we grew up we were nagging Our Father for stuff to buy.
:29:17. > :29:21.My mum died when we were little. I remember him buying a lilo on
:29:21. > :29:26.holiday once. I had a diving mask that I wore for the two weeks, I
:29:26. > :29:30.never took it off. LAUGHTER I was ten, right? My sister had a bikini,
:29:30. > :29:37.she was eight. But it came up around her neck and nearly drowned
:29:37. > :29:42.her. She pulled me under. I said, "Give me the bikini!" I had the
:29:42. > :29:47.diving mask and the bikini on. I have never been happier before or
:29:47. > :29:56.since! When he got the lilo, rather than blowing it up, he went to the
:29:56. > :29:59.hire car and got the foot pump and he blew the lilo up like this.
:29:59. > :30:03.LAUGHTER As if he was on display. People will watch you if you blow
:30:03. > :30:09.it up like that. Then he said, "Come here, please. Test that." I
:30:09. > :30:15.touched the pillow bit and it went BANG! LAUGHTER Separated from the
:30:15. > :30:22.main body of the lilo. I have never seen that happen before or since.
:30:22. > :30:30.He is looking at me like, "You little shit!" No hidden pins. You
:30:30. > :30:40.have overinflated the lilo. Before we move on, James, we must mention
:30:40. > :30:40.
:30:41. > :30:50.your new movie with Danny Boyle. Yes. It will be March ...? 27th
:30:50. > :31:00.March. That is my birthday. This movie is called Trance. It is about
:31:00. > :31:05.memory loss? It is about er... It is about er... Very good! It is
:31:05. > :31:09.about memory loss, violence, both psychological and physical, it is
:31:09. > :31:15.about sexual desire and art and theft. It is a psychological
:31:15. > :31:19.thriller. It is very Danny Boyle. Sounds very much like Jonathan
:31:19. > :31:29.Creek. And Macbeth and Django Unchained. We have a bit of the
:31:29. > :31:46.
:31:46. > :31:54.trailer which sets it up and makes Where is it? I can't remember.
:31:54. > :32:01.you'll remember. Have you been hypnotised before? I want you to
:32:01. > :32:07.relax. APPLAUSE He is just special
:32:08. > :32:14.whatever he does, like yourself. He is a national treasure. I realised
:32:14. > :32:23.we didn't explain what it was about. You steal...? I steel a $25 million
:32:23. > :32:25.painting as it is being auctioned. And after the heist is over, when
:32:25. > :32:28.the baddies I'm in league with decide to open the box, they bring
:32:29. > :32:35.out the frame and there is nothing there and they come to me and say,
:32:35. > :32:39."Where's the painting?" I go, "I'm honest when I say I can't
:32:39. > :32:45.remember." We try and unlock where the painting is. We unlock a hell
:32:45. > :32:49.of a lot more than just where the painting is. The audience doesn't
:32:49. > :32:54.know where it is? The audience have no idea. They haven't seen it
:32:54. > :32:59.happen? No, it is about what you think you remember and how memory
:32:59. > :33:04.is a very creative process. whole film would have been, if he
:33:04. > :33:14.had just said, "Just think where you were when you last had it."
:33:14. > :33:17.LAUGHTER Then you would have found it! We had on QI where if you were
:33:17. > :33:24.looking for something, like your car keys, if you keep saying the
:33:24. > :33:34.name of the thing you are looking for, you are more likely to find it.
:33:34. > :33:39.
:33:39. > :33:46.Really? Yes. So keep saying, self- respect, self-respect. LAUGHTER
:33:46. > :33:53.Ten-inch cock! It is mainly keys! Right. It is time for music. This
:33:53. > :34:03.singer has had an extraordinary 2012 and has been nominated for
:34:03. > :34:07.
:34:07. > :34:17.three BRIT Awards. It is Emeli Sande. APPLAUSE You look so well.
:34:17. > :34:17.
:34:17. > :34:23.Thank you. Hello. Happy New Year? Happy New Year. What an amazing
:34:23. > :34:33.year you had? Last year was ace. It was amazing. It was this time last
:34:33. > :34:36.
:34:36. > :34:44.year, you had just got the BRITs Best Breakthrough Choice. You made
:34:44. > :34:48.me sit next to Madonna! Who got Best Oldcomer. This is the best-
:34:48. > :34:56.selling album of 2012. Yes. Congratulations. Thank you very
:34:56. > :35:02.much. Fantastic. APPLAUSE Thank you. It must be that scary thing, "Now I
:35:02. > :35:06.have to do another album."? Yes, I am delaying it. Maybe thinking
:35:06. > :35:10.about other career options! It's amazing. I never expected anything
:35:11. > :35:15.like that. What a year. I don't think I can top 2012. I will try.
:35:15. > :35:21.Listen, you must be sick talking about it. I must mention the
:35:21. > :35:26.Olympics. It was lovely seeing so much of you! LAUGHTER How did you
:35:27. > :35:31.end up in quite so much of it? Did the Closing Ceremony people know
:35:31. > :35:38.that you had been booked for the opening bit? I don't think they had.
:35:38. > :35:42.You don't say no, really. Working with Danny Boyle was amazing.
:35:42. > :35:47.Getting asked to do the Opening Ceremony was - I was invited to
:35:47. > :35:51.their secret bunker. The whole plan was unveiled. Getting to sing Abide
:35:51. > :35:58.With Me was a great honour. The next week, Kim Gavin got in touch.
:35:58. > :36:04.There I was. You looked great. I know the venue well! You were
:36:04. > :36:10.performing George Square at the Glaswegian Torch... Yes. I carried
:36:11. > :36:17.the Torch towards you and I thought I was going to get to go all the
:36:17. > :36:24.way. They said, "No, you give it to somebody else." I get to watch her?
:36:24. > :36:29.They said, "No, you are outside the fence!" I have just carried the
:36:29. > :36:34.Olympic Torch. I'm in films and everything! LAUGHTER I can't watch
:36:34. > :36:39.the gig? Have you not met before? No. You are both from Scotland?
:36:39. > :36:46.There's only about five of us. is weird. We are connected. I have
:36:46. > :36:54.written a song for Trance. You have. We have got our Scotland... Yes. I
:36:54. > :37:00.was very excited. I am really excited. The film is great. You are
:37:00. > :37:05.singing my favourite track off the album. I thought this would be an
:37:05. > :37:10.obvious second single. I don't know. It feels like a sad close to the
:37:10. > :37:16.album. Really? No. We wanted to leave this till the last. It was
:37:16. > :37:19.one of the first ones that I really feel expresses me so I'm happy to
:37:19. > :37:25.sing it tonight and for it to close the album campaign. Is this the
:37:25. > :37:29.last single? Yes. I think so. can milk another few out of it!
:37:29. > :37:36.LAUGHTER Don't be an idiot! LAUGHTER And I know you are doing
:37:36. > :37:46.it live for us tonight. Emeli, if you want to get ready? Off you go.
:37:46. > :37:47.
:37:47. > :37:57.Lovely. APPLAUSE Shortly, we will be paying a visit to the Red Chair.
:37:57. > :38:01.
:38:01. > :38:04.But first, performing Clown, Emeli # I guess it's funnier from where
:38:04. > :38:10.you're standing # Cause from over here I missed the
:38:10. > :38:18.joke # Clear the way for my crash
:38:18. > :38:27.landing # I've done it again, another
:38:27. > :38:37.number for your notes # I'd be smiling if I wasn't so
:38:37. > :38:40.
:38:40. > :38:46.desperate # I'd be patient if I had the time
:38:46. > :38:54.# I could stop and answer all of your questions
:38:54. > :39:02.# As soon as I find out how I can move from the back of the line
:39:03. > :39:07.# I'll be your clown # Behind the glass
:39:07. > :39:16.# Go 'head and laugh, # Cause it's funny I would too,
:39:16. > :39:26.# If I saw me I'll be your clown, # On your favourite channel
:39:26. > :39:34.# My life's a circus, circus, round in circles, selling out tonight
:39:34. > :39:44.# I'd be less angry if it was my decision
:39:44. > :39:47.
:39:47. > :39:51.# And the money was just rolling in # If I had more than my ambition
:39:51. > :39:59.# I'll have time for please, # I'll have time for thank you as
:39:59. > :40:08.soon as I win # I'll be your clown
:40:08. > :40:16.# Behind the glass # Go 'head and laugh,
:40:16. > :40:19.# Cause it's funny I would too, # If I saw me I'll be your clown,
:40:19. > :40:28.# On your favourite channel # My life's a circus, circus, round
:40:29. > :40:38.in circles, selling out tonight # From the distance my choice is
:40:39. > :40:42.
:40:42. > :40:51.simple # From a distance I can entertain
:40:51. > :40:58.# So you can see me, # I put make-up on my face
:40:58. > :41:06.# But there's no way you can feel # From so far away
:41:06. > :41:13.# I'll be your clown # Behind the glass
:41:13. > :41:22.# Go 'head and laugh, # Cause it's funny I would too,
:41:22. > :41:32.# If I saw me I'll be your clown, # On your favourite channel
:41:32. > :41:40.
:41:40. > :41:50.# My life's a circus, circus, round CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
:41:50. > :41:58.Wow! Beautiful! Emeli Sande! APPLAUSE Come and join me, Emeli.
:41:58. > :42:07.Oh! Just gorgeous! Thank you. Beautiful. Emeli Sande, everyone!
:42:07. > :42:11.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you. Seriously, I think that is one of
:42:11. > :42:16.the loveliest live vocals we have ever had on the show. Wow! Thank
:42:16. > :42:21.you. Gorgeous! Thank you. Really gorgeous! APPLAUSE Right, before we
:42:21. > :42:27.go tonight, just time for a visit to the Red Chair. Who have we got?
:42:27. > :42:32.Hello? What is your name? Lee. Lovely. Where do you live? London.
:42:33. > :42:39.In London. I'm from Newcastle. do you do in London? Interior
:42:39. > :42:49.design. What is your favourite bit of interior design? Being creative.
:42:49. > :42:56.Good answer! OK. Dull answer! A bit of rag rolling or something! Lee,
:42:56. > :43:00.delight us with your tale? Basically, apologies to my mum now.
:43:00. > :43:06.I was with my boyfriend at the time and I was trying to get to know him
:43:06. > :43:11.a bit better, we were both getting to know each other a bit better.
:43:11. > :43:16.hear you, Lee. My phone ended up on the bed, I lent on the bed and
:43:16. > :43:24.ended up ringing my mum. Obviously I didn't know this until I had
:43:24. > :43:31.finished. And then I had a message from my mum saying, "Are you OK, it
:43:31. > :43:38.sounds like you are in pain?" LAUGHTER You can walk. Thank you.
:43:39. > :43:47.Well done. If you would like to have a go on the Red Chair, go to
:43:47. > :43:54.our website. A huge thank you to Emeli Sande. APPLAUSE Alan Davies.