:00:10. > :00:14.It's Oscar season. On the show tonight, I have a two-time Academy
:00:14. > :00:22.Award winner. And he's been nominated for another one. Who is
:00:23. > :00:27.going to chat to him? And the winner is... Excited! Intense!
:00:27. > :00:37.Excited! Graham Norton! You didn't win. Let's start the
:00:37. > :00:58.
:00:58. > :01:05.Thank you! So many people to thank! It means
:01:05. > :01:10.so much to be nominated. Welcome to all. We have an amazing line-up for
:01:10. > :01:18.you tonight. Hollywood superstar, Denzel Washington is on the show.
:01:18. > :01:22.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Nicholas Hoult is here.
:01:22. > :01:27.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Bill Bailey is on the show.
:01:27. > :01:32.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And we'll have the music from Conor Maynard.
:01:32. > :01:40.Good - I know - good. I am delighted to welcome Nicholas Hoult
:01:40. > :01:49.on to the show. Do you remember him as a star in a boy? Do you? Who was
:01:49. > :01:56.the best boy? "I am." Here he is in his latest film skhral -- latest
:01:56. > :02:00.film! Yes, mothers they do grow up. That is him playing a zombie in
:02:00. > :02:10.Warm Bodies. It poses a big question, could a beautiful woman
:02:10. > :02:11.
:02:11. > :02:19.ever fall in love with a brain-dead zombie? Well, I... I'm so excited
:02:19. > :02:28.to be meeting Denzel, something so cool and sexy about a man named
:02:28. > :02:36.after an American city, Denzel Washington, Joaquin Phoenix, Johnny
:02:37. > :02:46.Vegas! I believe that's called "a roll-top." His new film is called
:02:47. > :02:53.Flight. He plays a pilot who has a drug problem. Imagine flying that
:02:53. > :02:57.fast while on drugs! Oh, yes. The Jersey is yellow. You are green. As
:02:57. > :03:02.always, a delight to have Bill Bailey back on the show. He is a
:03:02. > :03:12.huge animal lover. He has campaigned for baboons, bears, even
:03:12. > :03:14.
:03:14. > :03:24.horses. We'll have music from Conor Maynard.
:03:24. > :03:30.
:03:30. > :03:36.Lovely to see you. There's something about the boy!
:03:36. > :03:44.It's Nicholas Hoult. Lovely to see you.
:03:44. > :03:48.And he's on my sofa, it's Denzel Washington.
:03:48. > :03:58.Hello, Sir. Lovely to see you. Sit yourself down there, do.
:03:58. > :04:04.
:04:04. > :04:14.This is so rubbish, we should have confirmed this, I was calling you
:04:14. > :04:19.
:04:19. > :04:25.Denzel. Is that correct? It Denzel. He was Denzel and I'm Denzel Junior.
:04:25. > :04:33.My mother started to call me Denzel, we would both turn up. It is a
:04:33. > :04:43.pronunciation thing! So you are Denzel now.
:04:43. > :04:52.No, I'm Denzel. That's all we have time for!
:04:52. > :05:02.Seriously, Denzel... Denzel... right, it is Denzel. Nicholas your
:05:02. > :05:03.
:05:03. > :05:10.middle name is? Craraduc. It means the beloved one. Does it really?
:05:10. > :05:15.People in Wales are watching television laughing at you!
:05:15. > :05:23.It's lovely. It's good for my e- mail address. I shouldn't say that
:05:23. > :05:30.probably! LAUGHTER
:05:30. > :05:36.I'm guessing Bill Bailey is not your real name? Mark is the name I
:05:36. > :05:46.was... LAUGHTER There's no pronunciation problems! I was
:05:46. > :05:47.
:05:47. > :05:57.Christianed Mark. There's an old jazz standard song called When You
:05:57. > :06:00.
:06:00. > :06:09.Come Out Bill Bailey. Your son, you went for a specific name - DAX.
:06:09. > :06:18.It's a punchy name. Did you make it up? Made it up, got some Scrabble
:06:18. > :06:28.letters! It's Klingon for you! A lot of people think I choose it
:06:28. > :06:34.
:06:34. > :06:37.because it is a name in Deep Space A lot of people, because I am a bit
:06:37. > :06:45.of a science fiction fan they think it is because of that. It is not
:06:45. > :06:55.that at all. It is an old French name, actually. Very, very exciting
:06:55. > :06:55.
:06:55. > :07:01.- Oscar nominated for your new film Flight. Very exciting, yes, yes.
:07:01. > :07:09.It is your sixth nomination. Yes. You have won twice. Yes. When you
:07:09. > :07:15.get the call this time around, is it as exciting? The first time is
:07:15. > :07:20.crazy, but it's still an honour, a great honour. Who will you go with?
:07:20. > :07:30.Actually I think I may go by myself. My wife is doing a play in New York.
:07:30. > :07:31.
:07:31. > :07:37.Shall we have a competition? Your wife is in a play. Yes, she's
:07:37. > :07:43.doing a play. So you are going by yourself. Maybe I will take my
:07:43. > :07:50.mother. You took your mother before, didn't you? Yes. And my wife.
:07:50. > :07:55.Together? Yes. That is a brave mood. Mothers are obsessed by
:07:55. > :07:59.centrepieces. Yes. Wherever they go, they love a centre-piece. So the
:07:59. > :08:03.governor's ball afterwards is the big dinner and they had these
:08:03. > :08:07.centrepieces. She started to talk about how beautiful it was. I could
:08:07. > :08:11.see where she was going. I don't know if I had won that year. I
:08:11. > :08:18.don't know if I carried out the Oscar, the centrepiece or both! I
:08:18. > :08:25.did carry out the centrepiece. She was like, "Grab that, son." She was
:08:25. > :08:30.like, It's a waste." I am walking out... It is a weird thing -
:08:30. > :08:35.mothers are so obsessed. We went to that Elton John ball thing. She
:08:35. > :08:44.came out with place mats a pile this high. I left her there. I went
:08:44. > :08:48.home. She was there until 3am, came home with a mass of... She had
:08:48. > :08:51.stolen little kettles and teapots. You know that thing about your e-
:08:51. > :09:01.mail address, again probably shouldn't be telling this story! We
:09:01. > :09:05.are hear to talk about Flight. Your performance is phenomenal. Tell us
:09:06. > :09:12.about the character and your story. It is a pilot, who has a drinking
:09:12. > :09:17.problem. There's a potential problem with the plane and he
:09:17. > :09:20.crash-lands the plane. Then he's considered a hero, but he really
:09:20. > :09:30.starts spiralling downwards with more and more drink and people
:09:30. > :09:41.
:09:41. > :09:49.don't know about it and he's a mess. APPLAUSE
:09:49. > :09:53.You've sold it now. You play a pilot and the director,
:09:53. > :09:59.he's talking about how prepared you were, because you did all the
:09:59. > :10:04.flights. We got in a flight stimulator. It was great. We went
:10:04. > :10:12.to Delta Airlines. They allowed me to get into a flight simulator and
:10:12. > :10:17.allowed me to do take offs. We didn't need to land because we
:10:17. > :10:24.crashed the plane! Could you fly a plane now?
:10:24. > :10:34.No!, no, no, no. I am just pushing buttons like I know! This is one of
:10:34. > :10:34.
:10:34. > :10:39.these films - they will never show this in in-flight entertainment!
:10:39. > :10:49.don't think so. Have you seen it? couple of hours before getting on a
:10:49. > :10:51.
:10:51. > :10:57.Go and see the movie. If you are going on holiday
:10:57. > :11:03.tomorrow, perhaps look away. This is Denzel in charge on the fateful
:11:03. > :11:13.flight. We're in an uncontrolled dive. We have a jammed stabiliser
:11:13. > :11:14.
:11:14. > :11:20.or something. Oh, Lord, we're going 7,000. When I say I want you to
:11:20. > :11:24.reflact it... What you going to do? Push these forward, full throatle...
:11:24. > :11:34.Why would I do it now? We're going to roll it. What do you mean, roll
:11:34. > :11:40.Say hello to Trevor. I love you Trevor. You be a good boy. Mummy
:11:40. > :11:50.loves you! I've got control. Oh, Lord!
:11:50. > :12:05.
:12:05. > :12:15.Speed brakes. That's a good clip.
:12:15. > :12:17.
:12:17. > :12:21.If you want to see the whole movie, You actually did that? They rolled
:12:21. > :12:26.the whole thing? Not in the air, but... No. That would be excessive!
:12:26. > :12:31.But you can do that. You can actually turn a plane over and fly
:12:31. > :12:39.it upside down for a short period of time - one can do that.
:12:39. > :12:47.LAUGHTER "One" with a drink tray. Yeah, they
:12:47. > :12:51.do that. Ryanair do that. LAUGHTER
:12:51. > :12:54.Whenever they want to get anymore change out of your pocket.
:12:54. > :12:59.LAUGHTER As they say, your performance is
:12:59. > :13:04.really terrific in this. By the way, I don't think I said it - good luck.
:13:04. > :13:05.Good luck at the Oscars. Yeah. the thing that impressed me most as
:13:05. > :13:09.a drinker - LAUGHTER
:13:09. > :13:14.Is you do hang-overs really, really well!
:13:14. > :13:21.LAUGHTER They're very good. You know, that
:13:21. > :13:26.kind of - (Lip smacking) I really felt it! Because acting
:13:26. > :13:30.drunk - how did you prepare? Well, you don't want to act drunk. You
:13:30. > :13:35.want to act like you're not drunk. You are drunk, so you're trying to
:13:35. > :13:39.act like you're not instead of just staggering around. He was pretty
:13:39. > :13:44.lucid, you know, which was even more frightening. He's drunk flying
:13:44. > :13:49.the plane. I heard you talking about you watched people on YouTube
:13:49. > :13:54.to see how drunks behave, is that right? Yeah, you can YouTube
:13:54. > :13:59."drunks" - you can. YouTube, drunks, and there's one guy who takes about
:13:59. > :14:04.ten minutes to put one shoe on. read about that. We found...
:14:04. > :14:14.found that? I think he's leaving an Aldi, right, and he has to go
:14:14. > :14:14.
:14:14. > :14:24.through a sliding door, OK? Here he problem - not a problem. I am
:14:24. > :14:26.
:14:26. > :14:30.We have the one you talked about - I think this is the one - did one -
:14:30. > :14:40.is it the scandal? Cau, he's trying to put his sandal on. At some
:14:40. > :15:02.
:15:02. > :15:12.It's like the good samaritan. poor guy. He's gets it on - oh,
:15:12. > :15:12.
:15:12. > :15:17.you're all good. Oh! Hello, lady. "Hello, ladies!" That was my
:15:17. > :15:21.favourite one. Nicholas, in Skins, you kind of mixed up the acting
:15:21. > :15:26.drunk and being drunk a bit, didn't you? I did once yeah,. It was the
:15:26. > :15:33.first time I had to do a sex scene, um, and obviously, fairly nervous.
:15:33. > :15:38.Obviously, yes. So I had a little drink beforehand. When you say "a
:15:38. > :15:42.little drink..." I had two glasses of champagne and a vodka, so yeah -
:15:42. > :15:45.it's very difficult, though, when the director is there, and he's
:15:45. > :15:50.trying to encourage you to - fake climax.
:15:50. > :15:59.LAUGHTER What time of the day was this?
:15:59. > :16:05.was 8.00am. Oh! That's very, very tricky. That was me doing it then...
:16:05. > :16:10.That was it? Yeah. It's just a nice surprise,
:16:10. > :16:17.unexpected. Didn't expect that! Yeah. Acting drunk, I think it's a
:16:17. > :16:20.hard thing. It is hard, yeah, because it's a easy to overdo it
:16:20. > :16:24.and do the cliched slurring - because when you're actually drunk,
:16:24. > :16:28.you're not actually - you're enhanced. You're a bit louder, but
:16:28. > :16:32.I actually heard this once - it happened to me when I went to a
:16:32. > :16:37.party. I left with the wrong jacket, and it was a guy who I knew, Peter,
:16:37. > :16:41.he had the same leather jacket, so we both left. I went, oh, I see a
:16:41. > :16:44.problem here - brilliant. I've got a way out of this. I'll phone my
:16:44. > :16:49.phone with his phone and leave a message, and he'll get it, and then
:16:49. > :16:54.we'll meet up and get the jackets, so I thought I was being really
:16:54. > :16:57.clever. And I thought I left a message - "Hello, Peter. Bill here.
:16:57. > :17:04.I think there has been some misunderstanding with the jackets.
:17:04. > :17:14.If we meet up in a couple of days we can sort this out. Cheerio" a
:17:14. > :17:19.couple weeks later I heard my voice on my own phone - "Blah, blah, blah
:17:19. > :17:26.there's a jacket -" for about ten minutes - oh! We should all hear
:17:26. > :17:32.that once in our lives - not me! Denzel, in this movie, I couldn't
:17:32. > :17:38.help but notice, slightly seedy - is that a horrible thing to say? It
:17:38. > :17:43.was intentional. I'm not trying to insult the man. He was acting.
:17:43. > :17:48.one of the first scenes in the movie, I am with this young lady,
:17:48. > :17:55.and we're naked... You're selling more and more tickets - you're
:17:55. > :17:58.doing very good! So I let it all hang out, let's say. Oh. He's not
:17:58. > :18:03.working out. He's - he's - eats too much, drinks too much. Are you one
:18:03. > :18:06.of those annoying people who finds it hard to put on weight? No. No.
:18:06. > :18:10.LAUGHTER I can put on weight real easy. In
:18:10. > :18:15.fact, for the movie, basically, what I would do is I would eat at
:18:15. > :18:21.midnight, you know, have a big meal at midnight. Delicious! I loved it.
:18:21. > :18:24.Going to bed full - there's nothing better! Oh! Yeah! I think it's
:18:24. > :18:30.because I am Irish. I think because of the famine, I always think I
:18:31. > :18:35.might starve to death in the middle of the night. Get a few carbs in at
:18:35. > :18:38.midnight. No, yeah, absolutely! Because I read a story about when
:18:38. > :18:42.Tom Hanks had to lose all the weight in Philadelphia, you were
:18:42. > :18:48.quite mean to him. Oh, yeah! It was extreme. He was eating like only
:18:48. > :18:53.800 calories a day, and he went way down, so we would do - he was
:18:53. > :19:00.really, really skinny in the scenes in the courtroom, so I would, like,
:19:00. > :19:03.leave a - candy bars and - you know - I would sneeze and 500 Almond
:19:03. > :19:07.Joys would fly out. I was having pizzas delivered to him!
:19:07. > :19:17.LAUGHTER Yeah. He thanked me when he won the
:19:17. > :19:20.
:19:20. > :19:24.Oscar. Um, in terms of physical
:19:24. > :19:33.transitions, we have seen you go from boy to man to now zombie
:19:33. > :19:37.because we have seen you play a zombie in Warm Bodies - it's kind
:19:37. > :19:44.of a Zomm-romcom. Yeah, they blended them all together.
:19:44. > :19:49.thought of that! So tell us about the story a little bit. I play a
:19:49. > :19:53.zombie who feels a little bit trapped. He's unhappy. He wants to
:19:53. > :19:58.feel alive again, poor guy. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't want to eat
:19:58. > :20:02.brains, but he has to and whatever, but as he's out hunting one day, he
:20:02. > :20:07.sees this Julie character played by Teresa Palmer and instantly falls
:20:07. > :20:12.for her, basically, and she's the catalyst for him starting to change
:20:12. > :20:18.- become human, but he also eats her boyfriend's brains, so it's
:20:18. > :20:26.kind of a weird thing where he eats the brains - it's this weird thing
:20:26. > :20:31.where the zombies eat the brains then relive the people's memories.
:20:31. > :20:35.Yeah. This is setting up the whole idea of you being a zombie in your
:20:35. > :20:39.zombie world. What am I doing with my life? I am so pale. I should get
:20:39. > :20:42.out more, eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up
:20:42. > :20:46.straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter.
:20:46. > :20:49.What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect
:20:49. > :20:54.with people? Oh, right. It's because I'm dead. I shouldn't be so
:20:54. > :20:59.hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl's dead. That guy's
:20:59. > :21:02.dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. These guys look
:21:02. > :21:05.awful. I wish I could introduce myself, but I don't remember my
:21:05. > :21:09.name anymore. I mean, I think it started with an R, but that's all I
:21:09. > :21:12.have left. I can't remember my name or my parents or my job, although
:21:12. > :21:20.my hoody would suggest I was unemployed.
:21:20. > :21:25.LAUGHTER I like the zombie walk too.
:21:25. > :21:29.zombie walk is very good. And they filmed it all in - is it Montreal
:21:29. > :21:34.Yeah. Why did they go there? They're really accommodating in
:21:34. > :21:38.Montreal. Also, there is an airport that is closed down, disused and
:21:38. > :21:43.the old Olympic stadium. There's lots of places which are abandoned
:21:43. > :21:45.basically. How great! Let's go to Montreal - sounds lovely and they
:21:45. > :21:51.speak French - just gets better and better!
:21:51. > :21:55.LAUGHTER East London's thinking, one day
:21:55. > :22:02.we'll have zombie films here - if we're lucky!
:22:02. > :22:07.LAUGHTER Now, you're an acting talent,
:22:07. > :22:12.obviously. Denzel is in a film playing a pilot. He's studying
:22:12. > :22:16.drunk people on YouTube. How does an actor prepare to play a zombie?
:22:16. > :22:20.I'm not sure what - we watched a lot of zombie film, thens there was
:22:20. > :22:23.that kind of thing - it's kind of being hungover. That's what I
:22:23. > :22:27.thought about all the time - just that feeling when you wake up, and
:22:27. > :22:31.you can't really talk. You're groaning. You feel really terrible.
:22:31. > :22:36.I tried not to blink a lot because I thought zombies probably wouldn't
:22:36. > :22:41.blink, which was a bad decision. course. There were some long scenes.
:22:41. > :22:44.The difficult thing is the zombie run. Zombie walking is a slow
:22:44. > :22:48.shuffle, but Teresa is a quick runner. There were a couple of
:22:48. > :22:54.scenes where we're running around, and I am trying to keep up in a
:22:54. > :22:58.zombie fashion. You've got to show us! You've got to show us. Let's
:22:58. > :23:02.see the zombie run. Where should I do it? Just anywhere. Oh, man. I
:23:02. > :23:12.can't believe I am doing this. I haven't done it in a little while.
:23:12. > :23:31.
:23:31. > :23:35.Action. We nearly lost you! But the staring
:23:35. > :23:39.does sound really hard. Did you genuinely not blink? I think I
:23:39. > :23:44.blink once, but that's later on when he starts to get more human. I
:23:44. > :23:47.was wearing contact lens, which actually really helps for not
:23:47. > :23:52.blinking. That was just a choice you made or... Yeah, it was a dumb
:23:52. > :23:57.choice I made when I was speaking to the director - "I don't think
:23:57. > :24:01.zombies really blink". He was like, "Cool. Give it a shot". I would be
:24:01. > :24:08.in the middle of the shot thinking oh, no, my eyes are hurting so much.
:24:08. > :24:14.It kind of - maybe worked, I don't know. You have two Oscars. We don't
:24:14. > :24:19.have to do this. Let's do a scaring thing. No, I am in. This is the
:24:19. > :24:25.best - a staring contest. blinking, right? I sort of already
:24:25. > :24:30.know Denzel is going to win this! You're staring into camera five.
:24:30. > :24:40.Bill's on four. Nick's on seven... And then I have a range of cameras.
:24:40. > :24:51.
:24:51. > :24:57.three, two, one - stare. EERIE MUSIC
:24:57. > :25:07.I BLINKED! WELL DONE! ALREADY TEARING UP. OH, THEY'RE STILL GOING.
:25:07. > :25:12.
:25:12. > :25:17.I GAVE UP. APPLAUSE
:25:17. > :25:25.You're good - you are very good at that! Here's the amazing thing -
:25:25. > :25:35.you have been in so many things, About a Boy, Skins, A Single Man -
:25:35. > :25:36.
:25:36. > :25:41.Denzel, guess what year Nicholas 19... Correct. '84. '89. You have
:25:41. > :25:51.an Oscar as old as him, right? LAUGHTER
:25:51. > :25:55.'89, so that makes you... 23. have underwear older than him.
:25:55. > :26:00.first time we really saw you was in About a Boy, and it's weird because
:26:00. > :26:05.you are recognisable, but there's another shot of you. That just
:26:05. > :26:08.looks like you, yeah, apart from the pudding bowl - how old were you
:26:08. > :26:13.in that movie? I was 11 when we did that yeah. That must have been hard
:26:13. > :26:17.as an 11-year-old walking around with that hair. I mean, I had
:26:17. > :26:20.pretty embarrassing hair beforehand. Oh. Is that how you got the part?
:26:21. > :26:27.Yeah. And then you, on the other hand, it's extraordinary because
:26:27. > :26:33.since kind of St Elsewhere and - you don't seem to have changed at
:26:34. > :26:37.ALL! No, I just - you know, good genes. My mother is 90. Wow!
:26:37. > :26:42.shouldn't have said that. This won't play in the States - it does
:26:42. > :26:47.run in the States. And you know she'll see it. She'll see it! And
:26:47. > :26:57.I'll hear about it too. I'll hear about it. By the way, if you want
:26:57. > :27:07.
:27:07. > :27:13.to take that - You've still got it, Denzel! Eyes
:27:13. > :27:18.on the fruit. Because, bill, what age were you when you discovered
:27:19. > :27:22.your look? LAUGHTER
:27:22. > :27:27.If you know what I mean - LAUGHTER
:27:27. > :27:32.Where are you going with this, Graham? Well, no. You have always
:27:32. > :27:39.looked like this as long as I have known you. I have always looked
:27:39. > :27:44.like this. I'm rocking - it's called a skullette! I have always
:27:44. > :27:50.been hairy since a child... I'll get to you, Denzel, on this topic.
:27:50. > :27:55.I've got, yeah, a lot of hair, yeah! I was just like a dribble
:27:55. > :27:59.when I was a kid, and it stopped me having, you know, having tattoos
:27:59. > :28:05.because I really wanted a tattoo like a rite of passage when I was a
:28:05. > :28:10.teenager. I was very hairy, and the tattooists - I went and asked if I
:28:10. > :28:13.could get a tattoo. The tattooist saw all the hair and thought the
:28:13. > :28:17.only thing that would make sense on you is something you would glimpse
:28:17. > :28:23.in a dense forest. LAUGHTER
:28:23. > :28:27.So I had like a pamt -- sort of like a panther trapped in a thicket,
:28:27. > :28:33."Help me!" Wood in a continue and, that sort of thing. Here's the
:28:33. > :28:36.thing - so very hairy, but also a lover of nature. Yes. You're saying
:28:36. > :28:40.there is some kind of link there? Could be because you have just
:28:40. > :28:44.finished making a documentary for the BBC... Yes. This is a
:28:44. > :28:48.fascinating story, and I didn't know it. Follows in the footsteps
:28:48. > :28:52.of the naturalist Alfred Russell Wallace, apparently very important,
:28:52. > :28:55.but I haven't heard of him. That's the reason why I wanted to make
:28:55. > :28:59.this film was because nobody's heard of him, and he is probably
:28:59. > :29:05.the greatest naturalist of the 19th century, perhaps one of the greats
:29:05. > :29:10.of all time, and he was a Victorian explorer who travelled throughout
:29:10. > :29:14.what is today modern Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia. It was the
:29:14. > :29:17.mala archipelago then and he travelled throughout this whole
:29:17. > :29:23.archipelago for eight years pretty much on his own, and he collected
:29:23. > :29:27.thousands of specimens. He discovered thousands of new species.
:29:27. > :29:32.He made an enormous contribution to sort of natural history and our
:29:32. > :29:36.knowledge of the natural world. Crucially, he came up with the
:29:36. > :29:41.theory of evolution independently of Darwin in 1858, but since
:29:41. > :29:45.Wallace's death in 1913, his memory has kind of been lost, and it's
:29:45. > :29:47.Darwin that everyone knows. What's weird is because now you have just
:29:48. > :29:53.done this travelling around this area, and it's still not an easy
:29:53. > :29:57.area to travel around, so back then, I mean... Yeah. You think in the
:29:57. > :30:03.1850s he was travelling through jungles, up rivers that no
:30:04. > :30:07.Europeans had ever travelled, discovering species, seeing birds
:30:07. > :30:15.of paradise, seeing amazing sights no European has ever seen. He was
:30:15. > :30:19.doing this on his own, no mobile phone, no anti-malarials, nothing,
:30:19. > :30:22.just a couple of butterfly nets and a determination. We've got a clip
:30:23. > :30:32.of you going down one of those rivers and seeing some of the
:30:33. > :30:44.
:30:44. > :30:51.These monkeys are found only here. They are known locally as "white
:30:51. > :31:01.man, monkey." Which I have to say I am slightly offended by!
:31:01. > :31:12.
:31:12. > :31:17.With the huge noses, pale faces and Is it the Chinese fascinated by
:31:17. > :31:20.them? My guide, Eric, who took me up the river, he said that he took
:31:20. > :31:25.a party of Chinese guys up the river and they were fascinated by
:31:25. > :31:30.the fact these monkeys had a permanent erection. The Chinese are
:31:30. > :31:34.very fond of their sort of medicines and their... They were
:31:35. > :31:40.saying basically, I want some of what the monkey's had. So he tried
:31:40. > :31:47.to persuade them that it is really poisonous because they eat young
:31:47. > :31:52.leaves and unripe fruit. These Chinese guys were thinking, come
:31:52. > :32:01.on.... Natural Viagra. They were all violently ill and nothing...
:32:01. > :32:09.it because of their diet? It's the diet. They have this and also...
:32:09. > :32:16.You're young! You're young! Pick the right fruits.
:32:16. > :32:22.That will help. You talk about China a lot in your
:32:22. > :32:28.tour, Qualmpeddler. Yes. What a tour! It starts 26th April. You've
:32:28. > :32:31.had an extra 41 dates. Yes. Later in the year. Because they are all
:32:31. > :32:37.selling out. Which is fantastic. You talk about your travels in
:32:37. > :32:43.China. That is right. I spent about a month in China earlier last year
:32:44. > :32:47.and it's a place that's hard to like some times, because it's a
:32:47. > :32:55.place where there's little compassion, I have to say. We went
:32:55. > :32:59.to an industrial part of China and there's a lot of Chinese
:32:59. > :33:04.restaurants, obviously, it is China. As you would imagine!
:33:04. > :33:08.So popular there. We went to a Chinese restaurant. This is one of
:33:08. > :33:12.the most... It was a surreal thing. We went to a Chinese restaurant.
:33:12. > :33:18.Like a lot of Chinese restaurants there are things in tanks, but, you
:33:18. > :33:23.know, crabs, lobsters that kind of thing. Then there were other things,
:33:23. > :33:28.snakes, lizards, to be eaten on the menu. And then and I kid you not,
:33:28. > :33:32.there was an owl, in a cage, on the menu.
:33:32. > :33:37.Right! That was just there waiting to be, you can pick something out,
:33:37. > :33:43.have a prawn brought out or an owl. I was thinking, this is the stuff
:33:43. > :33:49.they have got on display. What have they got behind? Have they got like
:33:50. > :33:55.a big foot back there? A Phoenix? That would be tricky to cook!
:33:55. > :34:02.LAUGHTER So what we did was we negotiated
:34:02. > :34:08.with them, we said can we buy this owl. There was doing and froing,
:34:09. > :34:16.eventually they said OK. It was like these crazy westerners want a
:34:16. > :34:20.take-away owl. So they wrapped it in Sellotape. You are kipping!
:34:20. > :34:26.wrapped it in Sellotape. Put it in a cardboard box. We said thank you
:34:26. > :34:33.and drove off. We indicated with a phrase book, take us to a forest,
:34:33. > :34:41.where we can release the ow lrk. The owl was by -- owl. The owl was
:34:41. > :34:47.very angry. At this point, we're in a wood, a forest, dusk. It is
:34:47. > :34:54.really angry, wrapped in Sellotape. I think this is when you meet your
:34:54. > :35:04.school's headmaster. They meet you and they say, "What are you doing."
:35:04. > :35:11.It' not what it seems, it's Bill Oddy's party. I had to say the taxi
:35:11. > :35:20.driver, you hold theal lols while I cut the Sellotape off. There's not
:35:20. > :35:25.a phrase book in the world! We did it. We cut it free and we watched
:35:25. > :35:31.it fly off into the woods. You're a hero. APPLAUSE. We are about to
:35:31. > :35:37.have music, but very quickly, you are good friends with President
:35:37. > :35:42.Obama. It's not like we talk every day. He's so tied up. He's busy.
:35:42. > :35:52.You are sharing a joke. Yeah. Friends. We were talking about
:35:52. > :35:56.
:35:56. > :36:02.Owls! He's having his inauguration. We
:36:02. > :36:09.have a picture of you at the first one. Yeah! My wife.
:36:09. > :36:16.The event started at like, I don't know, 1pm. That was like 7am.
:36:16. > :36:22.She said that we have to make sure we get seats. "We've got to get
:36:22. > :36:27.seats." You were in the front row. We had orange tickets. They had
:36:27. > :36:30.different colour tickets. I did all this stuff. Made all these speeches
:36:31. > :36:36.for the President. They gave me seats which were 30 rows back. I
:36:36. > :36:46.was like, no, no, I am moving up. I moved up front. That is me waiting
:36:46. > :36:50.Where is your wife? She's in a warm bed, you know! I was actually there
:36:50. > :36:55.about three hours too early. Have you put that paper down to save a
:36:55. > :37:01.seat for her? Yeah. That is taken! It is taken! Right,
:37:01. > :37:06.it is time for music now. 2013, this will be an amazing year for
:37:06. > :37:16.this guy. Performing Animal, please welcome Conor Maynard.
:37:16. > :37:16.
:37:16. > :37:20.# Looking for a girl I've seen but now she's gone
:37:20. > :37:28.# Felt so good even though she did me wrong
:37:28. > :37:33.# She knows what I want but she's bad for me.
:37:33. > :37:39.# She gets what she wants when she's touching me.
:37:39. > :37:45.# I should've known better but she took my self-control.
:37:45. > :37:54.# You can take my heart like a criminal.
:37:54. > :37:58.# Won't you make me believe I'm the only one.
:37:58. > :38:01.# So grab me by the neck and don't you ever let go.
:38:01. > :38:11.# Mess me up so good until I'm begging for more.
:38:11. > :38:13.
:38:13. > :38:19.# You can tear me apart like an animal, like an animal.
:38:19. > :38:27.# I know I'm getting close from the trail of broken hearts.
:38:27. > :38:31.# Hope she's coming back to finish what she started.
:38:31. > :38:34.# I never see the claws until she's touching me.
:38:34. > :38:40.# She's holding me to tight it's getting hard to breathe.
:38:40. > :38:43.# I've never won a game but it feels too good to care.
:38:43. > :38:51.# You can take my heart like a criminal, (like a criminal, like a
:38:51. > :38:54.criminal). # Won't you make me believe I'm the
:38:54. > :39:00.only one (I'm the only one, I'm the only One).
:39:00. > :39:04.# So grab me by the neck and don't you ever let go.
:39:04. > :39:12.# Mess me up so good until I'm begging for more.
:39:12. > :39:15.# You tear me apart like an animal, like an animal.
:39:15. > :39:18.# Take me to the dark and don't you ever let go.
:39:18. > :39:24.# I like when you treat me like an animal.
:39:24. > :39:27.# Take me to the dark and don't you ever let go (don't ever let go).
:39:27. > :39:30.# I like when you treat me like an animal.
:39:30. > :39:34.# Take me to the dark and don't you ever let go.
:39:34. > :39:37.# I like when you treat me like an animal (treat me like an animal).
:39:37. > :39:47.# Take me to the dark and don't you ever let go.
:39:47. > :39:54.
:39:54. > :39:58.# I like when you treat me like an # Messed me up so good, I'm begging
:39:58. > :40:01.for more # Tear me apart
:40:01. > :40:06.# Like an animal. One more time, here we go
:40:06. > :40:11.# Grab me by the neck and don't you ever let go
:40:11. > :40:16.# Mess me up real good, till I'm begging for more
:40:16. > :40:26.# Tear me apart like an animal. # Like an animal
:40:26. > :40:32.
:40:32. > :40:38.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Conor Maynard, everybody. Come and join me, do.
:40:38. > :40:45.Have a little seat there. Do, do, do. There we go! Very nice to meet
:40:45. > :40:54.you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Actually, Denzel, guess what year
:40:54. > :41:01.Conor was born in? The 90s. So sorry. Even Nicholas was working
:41:01. > :41:06.by then! You were doing adds and stuff. That
:41:06. > :41:12.is the new single off the album Contrasts, which is available now.
:41:12. > :41:17.Animal is out on 21st January. Am I correct? That is perfect. You have
:41:17. > :41:21.done well here. It is 2013 - it is the year you are taking America?
:41:21. > :41:27.literally got back. I have been promoting my album. It is hard. It
:41:27. > :41:31.is a massive market. It is difficult. It is something I
:41:31. > :41:38.dreamed about when I was younger. For me, it is getting that.
:41:38. > :41:43.cannot say, "When I was younger." Last week and I thought about it.
:41:43. > :41:52.Before we go tonight, there's just time for a visit to a red chair.
:41:52. > :41:57.What have we got? Hello. Hello. She's assumed the brace position.
:41:57. > :42:07.She's waiting for the obvious! What is your name? Florence. Where are
:42:07. > :42:09.
:42:09. > :42:19.you from? I am French. That's all right! What do you do? I'm a PA.
:42:19. > :42:28.
:42:28. > :42:36.She annoyed me throughout! Everything about that annoyed me.
:42:36. > :42:46.OK, we're going to have another one. Hello. Evening. What is your name?
:42:46. > :42:46.
:42:46. > :42:52.Sacha. What do you do? I'm a consultant dermatology --
:42:52. > :42:56.dermatologist with an interest in paediatric dermatology. When I was
:42:56. > :43:01.12 I was invited to a school friend's sleepover and in the
:43:01. > :43:09.middle of the night I had the call to nature, and so I, in the dark, I
:43:09. > :43:18.tiptoeed into the bathroom. As soon as I hit that warm seat there was a
:43:18. > :43:24.flow. A few seconds later I heard a bleated, bla, bla. I snapped on the
:43:24. > :43:32.light and say I had sat and weeed on my friend's elderly man, who was
:43:32. > :43:37.also answering the call to nature. It was a double decking. I don't
:43:37. > :43:42.know. She was quite old! All right, well done!
:43:42. > :43:48.If you like to go in the big red chair, you can. Go to our website.
:43:48. > :43:52.Go to this very address. Thank you to my guests. Conor Maynard.